Saturday 15 January 2000, Edinburgh, Scotland
"As I said, Daryl didn't leave me alone and the worst thing is that it wasn't for so long, she already wanted tocome and attack me right away, even I had no idea that at the beginning of the following year she wouldcome with the worst bomb, all because she found out that I had a blood connection with the Cavendish, sheended up being extremely furious, She made a point of doing everything she could to get me out of there,and she also had the power of money because of the robbery I was forced to carry out. Unfortunately,everything counted, but I was able to make the most of those months, I was already very happy with myfriends, after all, it was only five years before I entered Luna Nova."
Wow, today is a snow day, I think I'll go out, it's not every day that you get to enjoy it around here, I'll get my things and wrap up warm, it's so good to know that it's going to snow today, I'll even call my friends, if they're not already outside. I leave the room in high spirits and go downstairs, but when I get to the living room I'm confronted with something, it's just my father, what's he doing here, what are the police doing here?
What is this? Why is everyone here, why does Daryl have a smile on his face, she promised me she wouldn't bother me, I go running straight away, I notice my mum crying, I'm getting all confused, she betrayed me.
"You promised me you wouldn't make this happen!" I say to her.
"Change of plans Chariot, you're a much bigger threat to this place than you think, I've found out all about your lineage, now pack your bags and leave, or you'll get your mums arrested" said the damned woman.
"But they didn't do anything. But they didn't do anything" I say clenching my fists.
"I'm not going to tolerate you staying in this degenerate house, it's very brave of this woman to warn me about this degeneration that's going on, it's good that there's still time to correct you, before something worse happens" said my father and it's only now that he's going to worry about me.
"You can't do this!" I say angrily.
"Yes, he can, it's in the law, if there was anything too absurd he could ask for his guardianship back, you don't want anything worse to end up leaking out about them, do you? Two homosexuals wouldn't go down well, you know the law isn't on their side, so I wouldn't risk it, what do you say Chariot?" said the evil witch.
"Why? Why all this? What have I done to you?" I ask her.
"You have Cavendish blood, I'm not an idiot, they didn't adopt you because you're just a pretty face, they know you're part Cavendish, that's useful to them, didn't you know that? That's right, you'd be the eldest and could have priority at the head of the family should anything happen, you're the great-great-granddaughter of a Cavendish, I realised this when I looked up your surname in the family lines, I could see that there was a Louise Du Nord, she and her daughter moved to France after an event that happened here and stayed there, you're a very close descendant of them, you're Adeleine Du Nord Cavendish's great-granddaughter, Anna Du Nord's granddaughter and Eliana Du Nord's daughter, you're a Cavendish by blood and your mothers knew that, didn't they? Don't play dumb" said Daryl, and I had no idea.
"You're a bastard, you blackmailed me all the time and now you're doing this? You betrayed me, you bastard, I thought that if I did everything you told me to you wouldn't do all this, I can't believe it!" I say, crying with rage.
"Welcome to the real world, people will be like that with you, the first rule of the real world is not to trust anyone, people will stab you in the back, now you've learnt the hard way, it's not my problem if you prefer it that way" I'm getting angry, I can't believe she did that to me.
"Go and get your things and don't take too many, I don't want you to take the degeneration home from here" said my father, who is so absent that he only came out of prejudice.
I start to run away, up the stairs crying, I can't believe this happened to me, I didn't do anything wrong, I start to pack my bags, I don't have much choice, I even wish my mums would show up and run away with me far away from here, but that's not going to happen, unfortunately, I don't think I have any other choice.
I see my mums arrive accompanied by policemen, both of them are hugging me, treating me with a lot of love, they're also crying, why did that bastard Daryl do such a thing? Just because I have Cavendish blood? Anyway, I don't want to be the leader of this family, I'm a Du Nord, and I always will be.
"I'm sorry... When the news arrived it was too late, even we were taken by surprise by everything, that's all, Daryl just arrived out of the blue with policemen and his father" said Mum Laura.
"This is all very unfair, there's nothing wrong with you being my mums" I say tearfully to them.
"Unfortunately we live in a world that doesn't tolerate the love we both have for each other, that's the reality, people are very intolerant, what we can do is just enjoy these last moments as a family, we'll help you with your bags and we won't give up, we'll make sure you're here at home with us" said Mum Bernadette.
"You're idiots, you know that? You're going to take Chariot from us, when we have a wonderful track record as her mothers, we gave our daughter the best education, we gave her love and care, meanwhile you're going to give the girl back to an alcoholic father, you're monsters" said my mum McLaren.
"Orders are orders ladies, we can't question what our superiors have ordered us to do, I'm sorry about what happened, but you're kind of homosexuals, so it's justifiable" said the policeman.
"What do you mean it's justifiable? It's not a crime to be a lesbian" said my mother angrily,
"Indoctrinating children into homosexuality is a crime, you can go to jail for it, so have respect for us, we're taking it easy" At that moment I think I realised how the law doesn't work, how the world is much more unjust than it seems, the police won't be with us.
And so we put our heads down, packed up, I can't believe this happened, the police are bastards, this being a crime is ridiculous, they're not influencing me at all to like women, in fact what's making me sure I like them is the world, the world is showing me why I'm disgusted with men.
We finish packing, I take a deep breath with everything I've picked up, I'm going to have to leave the video games here, so many adventures I've had, I've only been able to take one of them, I'm already crying again
"Now is the time, but before we go we have to say, we knew about your ancestry, we wanted to take you at the beginning as a guarantee in case something happened to us, but above all we love you, we had a wonderful daughter" said mum Bernadette.
"I saw you in those conditions and I had to take you, it's not human for a child to be left so abandoned, even if you weren't a Cavendish ancestor I would take you, a child shouldn't live in those conditions, I don't regret anything, I had a daughter that I love very much, we had a great time together, one day this will all come back, we'll try everything in court to get you back you can be sure" said Mum Laura.
"I don't care if that was your intention at the beginning, I'm happy that I was able to have mums as wonderful as you, I lived the best years of my life being looked after by the best mums in the world, I'm happy to have you as mums, I'm sure that the next children to come will be very happy with you and I'm also going to wait day by day to be able to come back with you, I love you mums" I say hugging them both and starting to cry a little more into them.
We hug a lot, I don't ever want to let them go, it's the most special moment of my life, I've lived wonderful years, I've lived with a family that loves me, they're really loving mums and now I'm just going to be let go like this, it's too unfair, this shouldn't happen, what a mess, the world is a mess.
The police are pushing me around, forcing me to separate from my mums, and there's nothing they can do about it, as the police are threatening them with truncheons, what a bunch of thugs, I'm being led up the stairs by them, arriving in front of my dad, already looking disgusted.
[...]
"I was unjustly expelled, even after everything I did for Daryl, she stabbed me in the back, so if I were you Iwouldn't trust that change of hers so much, that woman is more rotten than you think and I'm only at thebeginning, of what she did to me, she did something much worse, even because you can already imaginewhy you never met your other mother Laura, but anyway let's go back here, because what is already worsecan get horrible "
It was a horrible journey, we flew to the outskirts, then we took a bus, we weren't home, this is very strange, this isn't Loperéc, this is Paris, I could see it from the signs, my father didn't even let me sit in the window seat, I get to a flat, he opens the door and there's the biggest mess, which already makes me incredulous.
"Here, go clean up this house, it's yours now too, you're too old to have obligations in this house" said the bastard.
"Why did you take me from them, you bastard? You never cared about me, you always spent all day drinking and watching football, only now you want to care and take me from people who really love me" I say, and he shrugs.
"Homosexuality is a sin, apart from the fact that you were being spoilt too much in that house, I saw that they gave you everything, you need to learn what it's like to suffer a little, now talk less and sweep more, then I want you to make my food" I don't know how to cook, I'm just a child.
"But I'm only nine! How do you expect me to do all this?" I say to him and he sits down on the sofa.
"Someone needs to do something in this house, don't expect me to make food, I can't cook" said my father.
"And why are we in Paris? What have you done with our house in Loperèc?" I ask him.
"I've been living here since you left, I've finally been free not to look after a catarrhal child, I've taken the opportunity to earn a tame living, even more so now, now do your duties, or I won't let you leave the house, oh and don't even think about going back to your mothers, if they're within 500 metres of you I can take them to court and they'll be arrested for not complying with a court order" said the bastard.
"I hate you!" I say, stomping my feet, and he doesn't care.
I run with my suitcase to where the bedroom is and all I see is a room with nothing in it, just a mattress on the floor, I won't even have a bed, these walls like this, are you sure this is my room? I'm indignant, I look at the other rooms, I see that my father's room has everything, there's a comfortable double bed and that really was my room.
"Surprise? I told you, you're going to learn to suffer, if you want a better room, go and get some money to buy your own bed, I'm not going to give you a cent, I'm already giving you food and housing, that's life, girl, learn what it means to survive, don't think about staying in my room, if you want some change to buy food, I'll give it to you after I've tidied up the house" said my father.
"What about school? How am I going to do school, I was at school if you didn't know" I say to him.
"Turn round, get your arse into school, it's not my problem" said the bastard and I got even angrier.
There's no way, I'm going to have to put the house in order, it's either that or I'll die of hunger, the worst thing is that now I don't have much choice, what the hell, I've arrived here and I'm going to have to get by, I've taken as much as I can and I'm not even going to be able to have a decent life here, it looks like the law isn't going to help me at all, am I going to stay here until I'm an adult? I hope not, that would be awful.
The house is a real mess, luckily I still remember when I did it when I still lived with him and some lessons I learnt tidying up the room by myself when I was in my real house, now I'm going to have to do everything without my will, what the hell.
[...]
My arms are tired, I've finished everything, I go into the living room, where my father is sitting on the sofa, he's watching something on the telly, now that I'm back in France I don't speak English any more, my father didn't even speak a word of English when we were at the Cavendish mansion.
I make a point of showing him everything I've done and he looks round, handing me a measly 20 franc coin, that's all for everything I've done
"Is that all?" I ask him.
"Go outside, come home until dark, get a loaf of bread or something to eat, it's not my problem" said my father.
"20 francs is worth just over three pounds, when I lived in Scotland, that was barely enough to buy food!" I say to him.
"Yes, you can, you've been so spoilt in your little place that you don't realise the price of things, I've lived very well earning only 20 francs a day, now go find something to eat, I'm not going to make food" he said and I'm sure he's going to gorge himself on food, I just won't open my mouth so I don't hear something worse, but I'm sure Daryl must have used some of the money from the robbery to convince him.
Before I can leave I hear a mobile phone ringing, my father signals for me to pick it up, even that's what I have to do, which I see is who it is, with a little coin I won't be able to do anything, now I hope at least I won't have to sort out adult things for him, like paying the rent or other things.
"[Do you like the changes? I'm only calling here because from now on when I talk to you it'll be from this mobile phone, so don't forget, if you want any help getting your home back, you'll have to talk to me...]" I'll hang up on her, I don't trust this bitch any more, I just want to get away from her, that's all, it made me want to throw this mobile out of the window, but I'm not going to do that.
I take a deep breath, then I go down the stairs, looking around, the building has some couples kissing on it, people smoking, they stare at me, dogs passing by, what a thing, everything here is very different, it gives the impression of a place that is not at all friendly, I go out into the street and I see that there is a lot of snow, a much bigger layer than the snow that we have in Edinburgh, which I am already feeling a bit of the cold.
I walk on anyway, just to get to know the surroundings, seeing that there's no-one around, I have to keep my eyes peeled, so I manage to locate a little shop, and as I go in I check things out, it seems there's even food.
"What can you buy for 20 francs?" I keep talking to myself, looking at the shelves.
There's some bread, biscuits, they're around that price, but I want something that will fill me up, I see the little potatoes with a smile, the same ones I used to eat a lot at home, they're much more expensive, I won't be able to buy them, there's juice too, I think I'll buy a juice and a packet of biscuits too, there's not much to do.
I take the things and walk up to the cashier, handing her the coin and she gives me the change, everything is 18 Francs and 33 Centimes, I'm left with 1 Franc and 77 Centimes, which is nothing, I leave and walk back home.
Do I really go back? In this cold, I'm also afraid of getting there and my father taking my food and my money, I think I'll eat out here and take a walk, before it gets dark, that's better, I sit on a stool and eat the biscuits and also drink the juice, damn it, I'm alone now without my mums around in this world.
[...]
"Arriving in France was a huge shock of reality, when I lived in Edinburgh I had no idea that people lived theway they did, I discovered that things were cheaper, I had to learn to survive on little, but what shocked mewithout a doubt were people in the cold living on the street, And my father was a real slacker, if I came homewith food he'd take it, saying he was going to have a sip or a bite, he'd take almost everything and leave mewith almost nothing, it seemed deliberate, I soon managed to go back to school in a week, I had to do somework to make up for the absence, but for the most part it was quiet, being able to go back to school, I wasgradually adapting to life there, living on very little, I even sold some of the things I'd taken from home, whichwere more expensive toys, I used them to buy my bed, to buy my wardrobes, even my television to playvideo games, I got by in a month there, my father didn't change at all, he was still the same absentee, hewent out to work, left me alone at home, or drank all the time, I had to keep the house clean, one day duringthe spring, something made me open my eyes, when I was on my way to school.
I already have a wardrobe to store my clothes, shelves to put my things on and a television with my video games, a bed, I sold all those expensive toys for this, but it's still nothing compared to what it was like to live in Edinburgh, I really got used to the luxury there.
It's time for another day at school, I have to think of a way to get money, but I don't know how, I'm 10 years old, I'm not allowed to work at that age, I've asked the girl at the market several times and she won't let me because I'm a child, when I turn into the street I see one of those mimics, he was doing his art, I see that there's a hat on the ground, where people were throwing coins and that just gave me an idea.
As soon as I turn into the street I bump into my classmate from school these days, Jolie, she's the only person who's wanted to talk to me so far, she's nice, it's a shame I can't take her home because of my dad.
"Oh girl, you're too distracted by this pampering, he's not even that handsome" said Jolie.
"Jolie, do they make money doing this?" I ask her.
"Chariot, you're really stupid, aren't you? Hahahaha, of course they do, they can make a fair bit of money out of it, but they have to be very good, because? Are you thinking of putting on make-up to be a mimic?" She was laughing, but it doesn't sound like such a bad idea.
"It would be interesting, you know, I've already sold almost all my expensive things, now I'm going to need money for the future, I've got five years until I go to Luna Nova, I don't know if I'll be able to go back to Scotland, especially after all I know how the laws work there" I say as I watch the mimic.
"That's rubbish Chariot, street artists make money, but not that much, not to mention that this dream of being a witch doesn't work out that well, do you have any idea how much it costs to stay in Luna Nova?" I kind of wonder, it can't be that much.
"It shouldn't be much, it's a school, it's money to buy food and leave here in the future" I tell her.
"No girl, the price to stay from 13 to 18 is a hundred thousand pounds, that's more money than you'll have to spend your whole life pretending to be inside an invisible box, even from 15 to 18, the price is still steep, you'd have to shell out 40 thousand pounds, not to mention the costs of staying there" said my friend.
"How do you know all this? You're not even a witch" I say confused.
"I wanted to be a witch, but my parents won't let me go to Luna Nova, they told me that if I wanted to be one I should work hard to get into a witchcraft academy, that I have to study to be normal and be something in life" how awful of them to say that.
"You shouldn't give up on your dreams, anything is possible" I say, already giving her hope, because it's not fair that her dreams should be repressed like this.
She laughs a little and then hugs me, but I didn't say anything too much, it's true, we can chase our dreams, I'm not going to give up, we enter the school and go through the corridors to our classroom, and off we go for another day at school, well at least I was able to continue at school, I just have to think of a way to attract attention in the street, being a mimic can't work very well, I have to think of an outfit that attracts attention, a talent of mine... Magic! That's right, I can perform as a magician, a magical girl, use my witch powers to do it and charm people, let's think about a costume later, do everything as best we can here.
[...]
I've just been thinking about various drawings all lesson, luckily I already know a lot of what's in the lesson because I learnt it before at the school I went to in Scotland, thinking about alternative names here, I have to do something, it can't be that I can't do that much, it's time for break, I'm going with my notebook of drawings I've done, I'm going with Jolie to the canteen, where we buy the food and sit at the tables.
"Woah Chariot, you're really putting a lot into this, staying in an invisible box isn't that much money" said my friend.
"I have until 2005 to get this money together, I can't just do any performance, I have to show how I'm different, not just be a mimic, but I'm thinking of doing magic, in a way that doesn't show that I'm a witch and charms people" I tell her and she nods in agreement.
"I can see what you've done so far, I've seen that you've drawn the whole lesson" I give her the pad while I eat.
At least now I'm more stable, my father may not give me a lot of money, but the reserve I've made by selling things is keeping me afloat, it's going to be a bitch to be able to eat well afterwards, especially since the reserve is going to run out and the change my father gives me is almost nothing.
I hope Jolie finds something interesting in this, I really need the money, if I can show my performances in a way that impresses everyone, it'll be marvellous, it's a shame I could never delve deeper into learning magic, mums never taught me more than the basics, they never pushed me further than that, even so it might be enough.
"Hmmmmm, they're very interesting visuals, a magician in a suit, it can be a very eye-catching thing, but where are you going to present it?" Jolie asks.
"I was thinking of the front of the school" She shakes her head in denial.
"No way, there are hardly any people here and everyone knows you, you could be exposed and embarrassed, you have no idea how street artists end up being frowned upon, apart from the fact that we don't have any coins left, but I know how you can get a lot, we're going to the underground stations, let's get your costume ready for that, I like this one, it's very eye-catching" said my friend who knows how to help me with everything and she showed me just the most bizarre one.
"But this is too bizarre, there's nothing to it, how do you expect this to go..." I say until she puts her finger in my mouth.
"Let's try this one, if it doesn't work we'll make another costume, you have to show your eccentricity, I'll take part in the tricks with you, but half the money you make is mine" She gives me her hand and I shake it, agreeing to the idea.
"I told you I wouldn't give up my dream of going to Luna Nova" I say, smiling at Jolie.
"I didn't say I was going to give up, I also didn't say I wasn't going to help my only friend, we're in this together, we're going to make a point of presenting, I can be your assistant on stage, Chariot Du Nord the exotic magician" she said and I laughed and then hugged her.
"Thank you so much for everything Jolie, you're a friend, I really missed a good friend" I say happily to her.
I'm going to continue eating, now there's a feeling of relief, having a friend round here is going to be great, even more so for what lies ahead, I'm going to make a point of showing off how I'm the most exotic of them all, I can't wait to see the money pouring into my hat, I'm going to earn a lot doing this, I'm sure, my hope is going to return, that's for sure, luckily it's very good to know that at least with her I've been able to have a friendship and say that I'm a witch.
[...]
At home, I get there and take an empty jar, which I'm starting to use my permanent marker pen on, it's a huge glass jar, I draw a picture of Luna Nova, copying a little card I had, looking at some photos of mums too, and I even write in English "For Luna Nova", I put the first coins inside and make sure I leave it on the television, where I throw myself out of bed looking up, thinking about the future.
I'm a teenager becoming a student of Luna Nova, a witch, I'll be able to leave here, live in a more comfortable home, after I graduate I'll be eighteen and I'll be able to live back in the Cavendish house, the law may not be on my mums' side, but I won't stop doing my best to go and see them, this law won't stop me from being of age and seeing my real family.
"Hey Chariot, phone call for you" said my father with his mobile phone in his hand, handing it to me and it must be bloody Daryl again.
"If it's that woman again, hang up" I tell him.
"How will you know it's her? Pick up the phone, it could be something important, it could be from your school" I get a bit angry, but I pick it up.
"[Chariot how long, have you thought about...]" I thought about hanging up on you again, you rotten witch, I hand the mobile phone back to my father in an absurd rage.
"Don't be so rude, she just wanted to talk to you, she's your aunt, you should talk to her, she's a good person, she can teach you to walk the line" Oh yes, stealing jewellery from people is walking the line, you have no idea how this woman is the worst of the worst, you only speak well of her because you've received a lot of money.
"I hate her and I hate you, now get out of my room and leave me alone!" I say pushing him.
"What an aggressive girl" said my father, who then left the room.
Without him around I'm just thinking, isn't looking like a magical clown girl too much or even ridiculous, I thought about it out of the blue, but I don't know if it's going to work out that well, but I'll trust Jolie, she must know what she's doing, even if at first she hung out a lot with the popular girls, I'm sure she's seen that I'm just as nice as them, so much so that she hardly hangs out with them.
"This was the beginning of everything, I became Shiny Chariot that day, I started thinking about doing streetperformances, which you may have seen from the story in my biography, the big performance at Pointe DuLac station, but it wasn't the way the book tells it, it wasn't that successful, I have trauma from that day to thisday actually, I think in the end that advice Daryl told me about not trusting anyone was going to work on theday, I was thinking that everything was wonderful in Paris, that things were starting to move, but in facteverything was falling apart.
See you, French witches...