"Alright, boys. You know the drill." Connie sized up his recruits. Armin, the strategizer. Jean, the lookout. And Eren, the extractor. Connie himself had taken on the role of leader/bait. Should their plan backfire, he alone would bear the blame. Of course, a plan this flawless was sure to succeed.

"I'm nervous," Armin said, wringing his hands together. "What if someone wakes up? What if Karma doesn't take the bait?"

"Oh, she'll take the bait," Connie said, grinning.

"Dude, she's totally crushing on Levi. It's not gonna work." Jean shook his head.

"Yeah," Eren agreed. "No offense Connie, but you oughta let one of us handle the seducing."

"Sorry boys. My mind's made up."

"You're just hoping to get laid." Jean noogied Connie's buzzed head.

"Um, yeah. Karma's seriously hot. Like, ridiculously hot. Of course I want to get laid."

"So this whole panty raid thing is just an excuse for you to shoot your shot with Karma?" Armin said, giving Connie a frown. "What are we gonna do with a bunch of girl's panties anyway? And won't they notice them missing like right away?"

Connie folded his arms. "I hand-picked this team because I firmly believe we share the same values. A panty raid isn't merely an excuse to steal a bunch of girl's underwear, it is an opportunity for men to unite as one. I'm talking friendship. Comradery. Justice. Freedom."

The others nodded sagely.

"Alright," Eren said, cracking his knuckles. "I can get behind that. Run us through the plan one more time."

"Right." Connie pointed to each member in succession. "Jean and Armin, you two will stand outside the girl's barracks and give the signal if something goes wrong. Remember the signal?"

Jean and Armin cawed like ravens.

"Beautiful," Connie said. "Eren, your job is to sneak inside without waking up Mikasa or Sasha and steal at least one pair of panties. Top drawer to the right. As for me, I've got the most important job of all. I'll be distracting Karma, the lightest sleeper in the Scout regiment."

"Do you really need to seduce her? Couldn't you just find another reason to draw her out of her room?" Armin said.

"Don't worry. If she doesn't take the bait, I've got a backup plan in mind."

"Shouldn't we discuss the logistics of your backup plan?" Armin said, voice etched with skepticism.

"Alright, fine. I don't technically have a backup plan. Just trust me on this, alright?"

"I trust you, Connie," Jean said. "It's foolproof—cause if Eren fails, you'll score Karma's panties."

"That's the goal."

Jean and Armin were in position outside the barracks, ready to squawk if anyone came to foil their plans. With a tactful nod at his backup team, Connie slipped inside. The girls' barracks were a mirror of the boys' with stone corridors and puddles outside of the washrooms.

Connie rolled his shoulders and made his move, slipping an envelope under the bedroom door where Mikasa, Karma, and Sasha were peacefully sleeping. Karma was a light enough sleeper to wake up at the envelope's gentle whoosh sound, which was Connie's pretense for luring her out in the first place. With the lightest sleeper in the regiment out of the way, Eren could make the extraction with little risk of discovery.

Everything hinged on Karma reading the letter from her "secret admirer" and taking the bait. Connie, of course, was that secret admirer, though it was no secret to anyone who paid close enough attention. When she was around, he either tried too hard to be funny or froze up entirely, depending on whether he was trying to get her attention or was faltering under it.

Connie paced back and forth across the bridge, the meeting place designated in the letter. It was dark and humid, the air buzzing with the wings of summer insects. Connie dabbed his sticky forehead for the millionth time, wishing he wasn't so nervous. She might not even show up—this whole panty raid might fall apart. But that wasn't what worried him. He was far more afraid that Karma would show up and be disappointed to learn that the mystery man who orchestrated the late-night meet up was him, Connie Springer. The annoying class clown who stared at her from across the training field and teased her in the mess hall. The one who introduced himself as Bonnie the first time he met her because he was too nervous to remember his own name.

Those familiar nerves fluttered in his throat when a silhouette emerged on the opposite end of the bridge. Her footsteps were padded by slip-on shoes and she was hugging a robe around her slight frame.

"Levi?"

Connie's heart plummeted to the wood planks. Jean was right—she liked Levi. He would have to resort to his backup plan: pretending like this whole thing was just a panty raid after all.

"Nope," he said, feigning a smug cheeriness like he'd managed to trick her. Karma stepped closer, squinting through the darkness. The moment she recognized the shape of Connie's buzzed head, she slapped her palm to her forehead.

"Shit. I knew this was a prank."

She turned to leave and in his desperation to keep her close, Connie blurted, "Wait!"

Her slippers stopped. Connie didn't remember running after her, but he must have because they were only a stride apart. He could reach out and touch her cheek.

"What? You're gonna tell me this wasn't some elaborate prank?" Karma folded her arms, scrunching up the silk sleeves of her robe.

"Okay fine. This is part of a prank, but hear me out—" He grabbed her shoulder before she could take off again. "The whole thing was just an excuse to give you that letter."

"Don't lie to me, Springer."

"I'm being honest." Connie held up his hands in defense. "I like you, okay? I didn't know how else to tell you. It's hard for me to be serious."

"Oh, I'm well acquainted with your antics." Karma chewed her lip for a moment, as if debating whether or not to believe him. Finally, her eyes flickered back to his. "What's the prank?"

"A panty raid."

She nodded. "Alright." Connie couldn't comprehend what she was doing, bending over and wriggling, until her panties were in his hand. They were frilly and warm. "There. You got your panties—raid's over. Now you can be serious."

Connie stared at the wad of fabric like it was encased in emerald. "You just… These are…"

Karma raised her brows expectantly.

Connie cleared his throat, trying not to imagine how she looked beneath the robe. "I'm not very good with words…" He stepped closer, expecting her to inch away. But Karma stood her ground, inviting him to close the distance even further. Now their noses were almost touching.

"Well?" Karma's voice softened. Connie's nose brushed against hers, a tentative touch, and he kissed her. Karma kissed him back, parting her lips and tugging his collar. Connie's arms swallowed and explored her. She was on her tiptoes, burying her lips against his, when a chorus of cawing broke them apart.

"Dammit." Connie pressed his forehead to hers. "The boys are in trouble. I can't let them take the fall."

"Then let's go," Karma said, tugging his elbow.

They raced back to the barracks to find Captain Levi hoisting Jean and Eren by the ears. Armin was beside them, hiding his face in his palms.

"Ah, Connie. I figured you'd be involved," Captain Levi said, stabbing the pair with a glare. "Care to explain why these morons were caught sneaking into the girl's barracks?"

Connie sighed. "Captain—"

"I invited them," Karma said, stepping in front of Connie. He flashed her wide eyes. "We were going to have a little late night get together."

Levi loosened his grip on Jean's and Eren's ears, but didn't look entirely convinced. "Then why did I catch Eren with a handful of underwear?"

"What?" Karma smirked. "They're his. Aren't they, Eren?"

Dammit if he didn't adore her. Connie managed to hold his laughter in as Eren grabbed onto Karma's lifeline.

"Yes, sir. Those are mine," Eren said.

"It's true," Connie added. "We all love wearing panties. They're just so comfy." He pulled Karma's panties from his pocket as proof. "See? These are mine."

Eren, Jean, and Armin perked, assuming that Connie had indeed scored.

Levi just shook his head. "Whatever weirdos. Just get the hell back to bed."

"So sorry, sir. It won't happen again."

Once Levi was gone, the boys cheered and whooped, profusely thanking Karma for saving their asses.

"It's fine, just put the underwear back."

Eren, Jean, and Armin scurried away, leaving her and Connie alone.

"Next time you want to see my underwear, don't set up an elaborate prank. Just kiss me. Deal?" She fixed Connie with a stern look.

Connie stepped closer. He scooped her into his arms and planted a kiss on her lips, nodding. "Hell yeah."