24th of March, 2024
AN: I really enjoyed writing "Who's Afraid of Rose Tyler?" as a character study of Rose, so I wanted to do the same thing with Matilda and take a long look at what's going on in her life at the moment. As such, this storyline is going to be teen angst and romance.
I'm also going to do something slightly different and incorporate music, and I'm going to put the songs used at the beginnings of the chapters and then also note them specifically when they appear; I thought this would be fun and it fits well with the themes of adolescence.
Finally, I've got some fancasts for you: first, Jakub Kaczmarek is the teenage dream of everybody who grew up in Britain in the 2000s: Aaron Taylor-Johnson in his Robbie in Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging era. Second, Stefani Kaczmarek I think is gonna be Jodie Comer but pre-Killing Eve, in her My Mad Fat Diary era as Chloe. And third, Hannah Beckett is Thomasin McKenzie whom you may know from Last Night In Soho and Jojo Rabbit, among other things. Mattie doesn't have a fancast because she's the spitting image of Martha; just imagine young Freema Agyeman.
Track List:
"Friday I'm In Love" by The Cure
"Puppy Love" by Donny Osmond
Heartbreaker
1
"Come on! She's wide open! Pass the ball!" Matilda shouted across the field, trying to get Melissa to send it Priya's way, because Priya was the only person on their entire team who possessed the ability to score a bloody goal. Mattie stayed rooted to her defensive position, soaked from the rain, as Melissa clung onto the ball, only to be ruthlessly tackled by one of the other team's midfielders. When the ball came rumbling back towards Mattie's end, it was all she could do to stop the run by sliding and kicking the ball so hard it shot up and rolled away out of play. Hannah Beckett, way on the other side of the pitch and doing an appalling job under even the most generous assessment, cowered and moved out of the way – even though it hadn't been going anywhere near her.
Ms Sokolov blew the whistle. There were still ten minutes left of their PE lesson, but the weather was getting severe.
"I think that's enough for today, girls!" she said.
Mattie got back to her feet. Akiko – who, like Hannah, hid from the ball – came over to see if she needed any help. She realised she'd pulled something and flinched.
"You know, it doesn't matter," said Aki. "There's no need to be so competitive."
"Of course it matters!" she said.
"Was it worth getting hurt, though?"
"Yes, because I stopped them from scoring."
"Is that leg alright? That fall could have been nasty," said Ms Sokolov to Mattie while they trudged away from the rainy football field and back to the school to get changed. There was no better way to end the week than by winning a football match.
"It's fine," said Mattie. "Just a bump."
"I'm filling out an injury form for you," she said. She'd once forgone the requisite injury form when Mattie had very, very lightly grazed her knee in football a few weeks ago and had then found herself in hot water. "Don't leave until it's submitted, please."
"Yes, alright."
Everybody dripped rainwater all over the changing room floors, which made getting dressed hazardous. Mattie saw, out of the corner of her eye, Hannah falling over and probably hurting herself more severely than Mattie had done during her tackle. Priya helped her up.
"Are you listening?" said Aki, Mattie's attention snapping back to her.
"Yes," she said, then paused. "Actually, no. Sorry. What were you saying?"
"I was saying that I can't wait to get to sixth form and not have to do PE anymore," she said. "I don't know how you enjoy it."
"I enjoy it when it's football," said Mattie.
"Everybody's so aggressive."
"That's just the game."
Aki scowled, "I suppose I should be glad it's not hockey. We played field hockey all the time last year, and that was much worse. People kept hitting me."
"Why are you bothered if I'm competitive, anyway? You're on my team."
"Yes, exactly – so, if I do something wrong, you're, like… you're disappointed in me."
"I'm not disappointed," said Mattie. "It's not a crime to not like football."
"I just think that sometimes, you forget that not everybody is naturally good at everything," said Aki.
"Okay," Mattie stood up straight, though she was still decently shorter than Akiko – then again, Mattie was shorter than most people, Clara Oswald not included. "I'm not naturally good at everything. I'm rubbish at English, for one thing, that's why…" The realisation hit her like a ton of bricks.
"What?" asked Aki, but Mattie was still reeling. Aki remembered. "Oh. You've got that revision thing today, don't you? I thought you were trying to get out of it?"
"Yeah, I was, but then Clara… well, you want to talk about disappointment, that's disappointment." She could still hear Clara's words ringing in her head. What you do with your free time is up to you, sweetheart, but I'd like it if you could try to spend some of it working on your English…
She'd sensed that Clara was at the end of her rope with the English situation and had been about to cross a line and say that Mum and Dad would also want to see Mattie doing her best in school, rather than ignoring an important subject because she thought it was boring.
"Like they don't have anything better to do on a Friday night than revision with their witches' coven," said Mattie. Hannah and her friends were still there on the other side of the changing room.
"That's a bit mean," said Aki. "They've never done anything to you."
"They don't like me."
"You talk to Priya all the time."
"I don't talk to Priya, I just sit next to her in chemistry and help her with the equations, and she happens to be one of the only competent people here when it comes to football. But now I have to waste my whole bloody Friday acting like I care about Shakespeare."
"It's not that bad," said Aki.
"Why don't you come, too? You'd be saving my life, you really would," said Mattie.
"I've told you; Dad needs me at the noodle bar early on Fridays. We always have a big rush, and he can't manage all the prep on his own," she said, the same thing she'd said to Mattie all week. "Maybe Steph will be there."
"I doubt it. Steph was supposed to be here, in PE, and she's AWOL again," said Mattie. She didn't know what Stefani was up to but knew it wouldn't be anything good. It never was.
About done, Mattie slung her bag over her shoulder.
"Aren't you putting your uniform back on? You're filthy," said Aki.
"It's the end of the day, I can't be bothered," she said, even though Aki was right. She'd be fine in the baggy, old t-shirt and joggers she brought for PE. Ms Sokolov, waiting in her office that adjoined the changing room, caught Mattie's eye. "I'd better go talk to Sokolov about this form."
"Are you coming round on Sunday?" said Aki. "For science revision."
"Um… I don't know," Mattie thought. "I'm in London tomorrow, and I'm not sure how late I'll be out. But I'll text you. And send me those pages if you finish them tonight, I want to read them." Aki's latest comic book.
"Sure. See you."
They said their goodbyes. Aki disappeared and Mattie was presented with a form on a tablet that she had to co-sign at the bottom.
"I don't know why these things need my signature," she said. This was the third one she'd had to go through after her various football-inflicted wounds. Other girls filed out of the changing room behind her, all very grateful to be let out of school right on time.
"It's just so that everybody knows you've seen it," said Sokolov. "Do me a favour and let Mrs Oswald know about this when you get home, will you? I don't want her being blindsided."
"She'll notice when she has to drive me to hospital later to have a cast put on it," said Mattie, finishing her signature and handing the tablet back. Sokolov was staring at her. "Joking."
"Be careful," said Sokolov. "You're staying here for sixth form next year, aren't you?"
"Probably."
"You should try out for the team. With some half-decent defence, we might actually be in with a chance of getting the Under Eighteens Cup," said Sokolov.
"Oh. Sure. I'd love to be on the team – or, try out to be on the team," said Mattie, heart swelling. She could make it onto the girls' football team next year? That would be a dream come true.
"Then try not to break your legs before then, Matilda," said Sokolov, and then she nodded at the door for Mattie to leave.
"I'll do my best."
She was surprised to find Jakub Kaczmarek waiting outside the girls' changing room, keeping enough of a distance that nobody would accuse him of trying to look in, down at the far end of the hall. He'd been mid-conversation with someone, another girl from class, but as soon as he saw Mattie, he mumbled something to her and smiled politely, leaving her standing alone. Behind his back, she glared at Matilda, and then skulked away.
"Hey," he said. "I was hoping to catch you after PE. Not in a dodgy way, I-"
"Well, you've caught me, here I am," said Mattie, leaning on the wall. Jake, who seemed to grow taller by the hour, smiled one of those easy smiles of his, one that made his eyes light up. He had his hoverboard in one hand and his old rucksack, covered in fabric patches denoting various bands, over one shoulder.
"Okay," he said, getting excited. "What film have you always wanted to see in the cinema?"
"Plenty. I've seen most films in places other than cinemas." In all their conversations Jake had yet to come up with a movie that Mattie hadn't seen. He'd been trying and failing for months, regularly sending her the names of the strangest, most obscure films he could find.
"Come on! 1931 blockbuster. Boris Karloff."
"Frankenstein?"
"Yes! I've got two tickets, last minute, for a showing tonight at the Duke of York's for this monster movie festival they're running over the weekend," he said.
"Isn't it a bit out of season for monster movies? It's April."
"It was released in April originally," he told her.
"No, it wasn't," she couldn't resist correcting him. "It was released in November."
"See, this is why you need to come with me. I just can't appreciate all the finer details of Frankenstein on my own. You have to explain it." She laughed.
Jakub having a crush on Mattie was the school's worst-kept secret. He had never told her explicitly, but everybody pointed it out, and he did keep trying to persuade her to go places and do things with him. Until then, she'd always refused, but Frankenstein was very tempting…
She was just about to agree when Hannah and Priya emerged from the changing rooms. She saw them out of the corner of her eye walking past and remembered that she had a prior commitment.
"What time? I've got this thing after school," she said.
"Six, but it's not very long. I thought we could get something to eat after, maybe, if you want," he said. "There's this twenty-four-hour greasy spoon down the road, the one-"
"The one with the robots? And the knickerbocker glories?" She could never refuse a knickerbocker glory.
"Yeah."
"Okay," she agreed. "I need time to go home, shower, and get ready." She was sweaty and filthy from football. "I think I can come up with an excuse to get out of this stupid revision group early. How's half-five? At the cinema?" He beamed from ear to ear. Briefly, Mattie was frightened he was going to literally jump for joy, right there in front of her.
"It's a date," he said, and she didn't try to tell him it wasn't. For the first time, she wasn't dead against the very idea of going on a date with anybody. Probably because being told she could make the cut for the sixth form side had put her in such a good mood – and because, compared with an army of killer robots on the moon, going to the cinema with a boy would be a breeze. "It's gonna be fun – we'll have fun. I can't wait."
"I'll text you if things end up delayed."
Now, she had a problem. If Mattie came home early, Clara would definitely know she'd skipped the revision group. But if she didn't come home early, she'd be in no condition to go on a date. Perhaps she could text Stefani and get help skiving… after all, if there was one thing Steph was great at, it was lying to Hannah about her whereabouts.
At that thought, Mattie shook her head. No. She couldn't be like Steph. She may not like Hannah, but she didn't want to go around lying to everybody with reckless abandon. She could probably just fake that a migraine had come on, or that her leg injury was worse than she'd thought, and she wanted to get home early. She nodded to herself. Yeah, that would work. Talk about the leg. In fact, she decided to start – very mildly – doing a bit of a limp, since it was now barely hurting at all. Was this taking things too far? Maybe. But she really didn't want to stay behind at school for long. Jake was waiting.
So, into the library she shuffled, with Hannah, Priya, Alice, and Janey – the latter two had been in a different fifth-period lesson – already sitting at a table in the middle of the room, setting up their books, computers, and tablets. Mattie sat down next to the least offensive option, Priya, who'd also opted not to put her uniform back on.
"Is your leg alright?" asked Priya. "That was a good tackle back there."
"Yeah, it's, um, stinging a bit," said Mattie. Already she felt guilty.
"Seemed fine earlier," said Hannah quietly.
"Pardon?"
"You're late," she said.
Mattie frowned. "By, like, one minute." God. Ten seconds she'd been in the room, and already Hannah was getting on her nerves.
"So," said Alice, starting the proceedings. "We do this every day after school, but Friday's English."
"I know," said Mattie. "All Steph ever does is complain about Hannah's always squirrelled away in the library." Hannah and Steph had had a record three weeks of being in a relationship without breaking up. Even so, Mattie's joke went down like a lead balloon; nobody laughed. "…No one's told me what you're reading."
"The set texts," said Hannah, clipped.
"Which one?"
"Much Ado About Nothing," said Alice.
"Oh, I don't have it."
"You don't…?" Hannah stared at her. Mattie grew self-conscious.
"Have we got to that one yet?"
"Not until next week."
"Um. Well, can't we look at something that the class is looking at now? Won't that be more useful?"
"More useful than getting ahead?" said Hannah.
"You might learn something wrong and then have to un-learn it in front of Mr Miller," said Mattie. Silence. "Alright, fine, I'll just download a free copy…" She did this, uncomfortable while they all waited for her. She'd seen the 1993 Much Ado About Nothing but remembered very little of it – which meant it probably wasn't that interesting of a play.
"So, now you're ready?" said Hannah.
"It's not my fault I didn't know what you were going to be doing, it's my first time here," she said.
"…I think we were doing the masquerade ball in Act II, Scene I," said Alice. It took Mattie a while to find that, after which time they'd already started speaking. They were reading through it, each of the four of them taking a different role. But really, it was down to Hannah and Alice, playing Beatrice and Benedick.
"'Why, he is the Prince's jester, a very dull fool,'" said Hannah, "'Only his gift is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines delight in him, and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villainy, for he both pleases men and angers them, and then they laugh at him and beat him…'" And on it went. Mattie grew confused about which character was which and what was happening.
"'Come, will you go with me?'" said Alice later, with Mattie on the brink of giving up.
"'Whither?'" said Priya, speaking for Claudio.
"'Even to the next willow, about your business, County. What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your neck, like an usurer's chain? Or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear it one way, for the Prince hath got your Hero.'"
"What does that mean?" Mattie interrupted them. "Who's his hero?"
"The character, Hero," said Hannah.
"Excuse me?"
"Claudio's love interest. Hero."
"Her name can't be 'Hero'."
"Well, it is."
"That's silly."
"It's Shakespeare, of course it's not silly," said Hannah. Mattie rolled her eyes. "Why don't you read, then? Or is it all too 'silly' for you?"
"I'd really rather just listen," said Mattie.
"Then what's the point of you being here?"
"Bloody hell – the point is that Clara's asked me to come, and I can't keep saying no to her. But, fine, I'll read. Then you can report back to her and tell her I know what words are, can't you?" said Mattie. Hannah glared at her. "What do you want me to read?"
"You can read Benedick, on page twenty-five," Hannah told her curtly. Mattie was then greeted with a thick wall of text from Benedick. Ugh.
"Fine. But he's also got a stupid name, for the record."
"First 'silly', now 'stupid'."
"Somehow, I don't think Shakespeare would care that much." She really felt like rubbing it in Hannah's face that her mum had actually met Shakespeare, if only that wouldn't make her sound like she'd lost her mind. Then again, if people thought she was mad, maybe she wouldn't have to go to the revision group anymore, or sit her French exams…
Mattie sighed and began her soliloquy, stumbling over more words than she mastered, feeling immensely judged by the girls around her.
"'This can be no trick. The conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of this from Hero, they seem to pity the lady. It seems her affections have their full bent. Love me? Why-' It's just people moaning about their feelings," she said.
"You give up after one line?"
"No, I'm not – 'Love me? Why, it must be requited,'" Mattie stubbornly went on, not liking all this 'love' business. "'I hear how I am….'"
"Censur'd – censored," said Alice next to her.
"'I hear how I am censur'd. They say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her. They say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection… Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day, she's a fair lady. I do spy some marks of love in her.'"
"'Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner,'" said Hannah.
Mattie groaned but went on regardless. "'Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.'"
"'I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.'"
"'You take pleasure then in the message?'" said Mattie. Hannah was clearly taking pleasure in taunting her.
"'Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knive's point, and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, signior, fare you well.'" That was the end.
"It just doesn't make sense, though," said Mattie, free from the tyranny of reading out a scene. "Half the stuff she says is nonsense."
"Maybe Benedick just isn't intelligent enough to understand what Beatrice is saying," said Hannah.
"I don't think intelligence factors into it when it's obviously all a load of rubbish."
"Now I see why you're going to fail English."
"I'm nowhere near failing, thanks."
"Then, why are you here?"
"Because Clara and Mr Miller have told me to come about a hundred times."
"Yeah," said Hannah. "Because you're failing." Mattie scoffed. "Just because English is the one thing in your life that doesn't come easily, doesn't-"
"What the hell does that mean?" Mattie demanded.
"I get that you don't think you need to revise for science, maths, or geography, and that you reckon you're a star striker who's a shoo-in for the football team-"
"You don't know anything about me or my life," said Mattie. "I do work hard. I just don't need the validation of a dozen other people to feel like I do. And I'm not a striker at all, I always play defence – Priya's the striker, and she's meant to be your friend, so why pass her over?"
Quietly, Priya began, "I don't really want to be-" But Mattie was still going.
"Anyway, it's beyond me how you even have time to read all this bollocks when you're constantly on call for Steph if she needs somebody to cop off with in a cupboard at a moment's notice." Hannah went bright red.
"That's out of order," said Alice.
"Me!? I'm out of order!? I just came here to actually try and learn something, and she's been having a go at me from the moment I sat down!"
"You were doing that, Han, a bit," said Janey, even quieter than Priya.
"She doesn't want to be here, that's why!" said Hannah. "And if you think that's all me and Steph do, what is it you're going to be doing with Jake at the cinema?"
"You – you were listening to my conversation!?"
"I walked past, I wasn't listening. How interesting do you think you are?" said Hannah. Sure, she'd walked past and then disappeared down the corridor by the time Mattie and Jake had set their plans in stone.
"Bloody hell!" Mattie stood. "I'm sorry for being asked out on a date – is that what you want me to say?"
"I don't care if you're on a date or not."
"Sounds like you do."
"Didn't you want an excuse to leave this 'stupid revision group' early?" said Hannah.
"For god's sake! You were nowhere near me when I said that!" Mattie started packing up her things, throwing them into her bag.
"It's not my fault that you weren't paying attention to who was around."
"I would've known if you were there," said Mattie.
"Why?" said Hannah.
"I just-" But she didn't know, so she changed tact. "Why are you still shagging Jake's sister when you're obviously obsessed with him? Do you just imagine him every time you're together?"
"Oh, just piss off, Matilda!" Hannah shouted at her. Alice's bottle of water fell and splashed Mattie, drenching her legs, which had barely dried from the rain.
"For Christ's sake! Now I'm soaked!" she complained, pulling her bag over her shoulder. "Thank you all, so much, for the pain of letting me sit at a table with you for ten whole minutes."
"I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me!" Hannah shouted after her as she stormed out of the room, quoting that play again – probably from memory, knowing her. "And your leg looks fine now, by the way!" Mattie didn't retort, she crashed out of the library, angrier than she'd ever been in her life.
Like it was her fault that Steph blew Hannah off all the time to hover around Mattie and steal Clara's phone number. Like it was her fault that Steph would rather cheat on her again than be in the same room. And like it was any of Hannah's business at all what Mattie did with her evenings.
Well, she wasn't going to be wasting any more time with that group, and Clara and Tom were just going to have to be alright with that – or maybe they could talk to Hannah, since she was the problem.
This ended up being exactly the excuse she gave to Clara when she got home, cycling furiously through the wind and the rain. It began to ease up a little when she was halfway back, but she was still completely sodden when she got inside, coming through the back door so that she wouldn't get in trouble for dripping all over the carpet.
"What do you mean, she shouted at you?" asked Clara as Mattie wedged her bike into the laundry room where it lived. "Don't do that, Smudge, you'll break something."
"She was having a go, the whole time! I'd barely even sat down – and then she told me that everything in my life comes easily! Can you believe that?"
"She probably only meant that you're good at school, sweetheart," said Clara, trying to calm her. "Let go of that, give it to me." She pulled the bike away from Mattie and carefully wheeled it into the next room, phasing it through the bit of the doorframe a pedal had gotten stuck on.
"Why are you making excuses for her?"
"I'm-"
"It doesn't matter," Mattie shook her head, not even letting Clara speak. "I'm going out, to the cinema, once I've showered."
"I don't know about that; you've got a big day tomor-"
"I'm going out!" she threw up her arms. "You can't keep controlling me!"
"I'm not trying to control you, I-" Mattie stomped away.
She was still angry when she'd finished showering and had begun the painstaking work of drying her hair, which was getting dangerously long since she hadn't had it cut in over a year; the tight coils were untameable. She meant to start braiding it like Mum used to, but never found the time.
When she was ready to head back out, running late, she found Clara waiting for her by the front door. It was Friday, so Rose was out prepping food at the homeless shelter, and the Doctor was upstairs biding her time until they went out to get fish and chips. They all had predictable habits and routines.
"I told you, I'm going out," said Mattie.
"Yes," said Clara, keeping a hand on the door to stop Mattie from opening it. "To the cinema. I just want to know who you're going with and when you'll be back."
Mattie told the truth. "I'm meeting Jake, at the Duke of York's Picturehouse. I'll be back by nine, probably earlier."
"Okay, that's fine," said Clara, but she didn't move her hand from the door.
"Can I go now?"
"If you want me to have a quiet word with Hannah about all this, I will. She's in my form."
"No! Don't get involved – I don't need everybody at school thinking I can't fight my own battles."
"I don't want you to have to fight any battles at all, sweetheart."
"Please," said Mattie once more. "I'm late as it is." Clara clenched her jaw, thinking, but then finally stepped aside.
"Do you want me to drive you? I can just get my keys, and-"
"I'll walk, it's fine. It's only twenty minutes."
"Matilda," said Clara. Mattie went quiet. "I'll park around the corner." It had already taken a lot of convincing for Clara to let Mattie get the train all the way to London on her own tomorrow for Tanya's wedding, so she decided not to push Clara any further.
It was a twenty-minute walk, and a sub-five-minute drive to get to the Picturehouse. But Mattie remained cranky in the campervan, and it was much worse when Clara turned on the radio and some old tape of the Doctor's started blasting from the speakers. ["Friday I'm In Love" – The Cure]
"This song is too upbeat," said Mattie, looking out of the window at the rain, slouching. Clara laughed.
"I don't think anybody's ever accused the Cure of being 'too upbeat' before, Matts."
"I don't care if Monday's blue, Tuesday's grey and Wednesday too, Thursday I don't care about you, it's Friday, I'm in love," sang the tape. It was getting warbly in its old age. On and on it went, and then, to her horror, Clara sang along.
"Monday you can fall apart, Tuesday Wednesday break my heart, Thursday doesn't even start, it's Friday, I'm in love," crooned both Clara and Robert Smith, to Matilda's severe embarrassment. But at least she didn't have to be in the rain for any longer; putting up with Clara's singing was a necessary evil.
True to her word, Clara parked around the corner and Mattie decanted from the van with her umbrella, begrudgingly waving Clara goodbye as she drove off. Jake was there already, which surprised her; she hadn't expected him to be punctual. He beamed again when he saw her. Finally, after a few months of hinting and never quite asking her outright, they were going out together. It made Mattie smile, too, just like it did whenever she got a text from him. But his face fell slightly.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah," said Mattie. "Well, no, but it's not you."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't want to talk about it. All I'll say is that you'd better hope Steph and Hannah break up for good one of these days because you don't want her for a sister-in-law."
"Hannah's upset you? That's not like her," said Jake.
"God, not you, too – taking her side," said Mattie.
"Um, sure. You're right, we won't talk about it. I've got the tickets if you want to head in? I think we're just in time." He didn't hold her lateness against her, which was something.
It became easier and easier when she was with Jake to forget about everything else. To fall into the black-and-white glory of Frankenstein and stop thinking about school and revision and English and how scared she was to go to London tomorrow – and most of all about Steph and Hannah. They shared a popcorn bucket and she let Jake whisper his commentary of the film in her ear, and every time his hand brushed against hers, she felt butterflies fluttering around.
Was it odd that it had taken him so long to properly ask her out? Or had she been ignoring all the signs? Maybe it was the latter. It wasn't like Steph and Aki hadn't mentioned it. It wasn't like he didn't text her all the time, and like she didn't text him back as soon as possible. It wasn't like they didn't constantly debate movies or football, and it wasn't like she hadn't already forgiven him for the cardinal sin of supporting Brighton even though they were in danger of relegation.
They were out before half-seven; it wasn't a long film, though even so, Mattie had always thought the second act dragged.
"They spend far too long faffing about on that windmill," she said. The rain had stopped by the time they were back in the streets, but it was colder than she thought it had been earlier. Then again, it was hard to notice the weather given the all-encompassing, foul mood she'd been in. But like her mood, the skies were now clear.
"Y'know, the only reason they had to show so much thunder is because of the Hays Code," said Jake, hands in his jean pockets, coming out of the cinema with its cream façade and dancing pair of legs on the roof.
"I did, yeah," said Mattie, smiling. It was cute how he kept trying to impress her. "Did you know that it only cost three grand to build this whole cinema at the time?"
"Have you been researching it?"
"No. Clara made us go out on a family bonding thing to watch Calamity Jane here a few months ago and gave me a huge lecture about the history of the building. But I think she's just interested in those legs," said Mattie, looking up at them, clad in striped tights.
"I've never understood that film," he said.
"Calamity Jane? Well, there's this creature, I think they're called 'women', I don't know if you're familiar with-"
"Oh, very good." Mattie smiled, and he went on. "All I mean is, why does Calamity marry Bill at all when she's already living the perfect life with Katie Brown?"
"He was there first, I suppose," she shrugged.
"Is that a good enough reason?"
"I see, I know what you're trying to tell me," Mattie nodded. "You're going to run away and live in a cottage with Sam Howell, aren't you? I've heard those rumours."
"Those rumours are only half true," he mumbled, flustered. "Did you want to get something to eat? Or do you have a curfew?"
"I told Clara I'll be back by nine," she said, but he was still looking at her expectantly. She swallowed and looked down. "Yeah, I want to get something to eat."
"The robot café's not far," he said. She didn't like robots much; the LunaDome had cemented that. She'd met Nios, too, and knew about that part of the future. But she didn't say any of this to Jake. If anything, they didn't have any other options. No human-staffed cafés would be open after five o'clock, and nowhere that was open would serve teenagers – certainly not cheaply.
"Sounds great. Which bits of the rumour are true, and which aren't, though?" she asked.
"Me and Sam are just in a band together, that's all," said Jake.
"I see. But you're into boys? That's what you're saying?"
"I'm into who I'm into. Some of those people are boys. You know the guy who did those adverts for the shaving cream?"
"Him? Something Dancy?" said Mattie. "They stopped putting those on TV ages ago."
"But they were a very formative memory. He was a very formative memory," said Jake. He looked over at Mattie and saw how she was smiling. "Don't laugh at me, I'm opening up to you!"
"I'm not laughing at you! I just think it's funny that it was him. It's crazy that you and Steph have all that figured out already, that's all."
"I don't think I've got anything figured out. Seems to have taken me months to work out that you weren't getting my hints and I needed to be more forward, after you never came to the skatepark one of the seven hundred times I said you should," he joked.
"D'you think it's weird that they're still called 'skateparks' even though it's all hoverboards now?" said Mattie.
"Plenty of people still skateboard. But hoverboarding's harder," he said. "If you ever come, you'll see how good at it I am, though." Truthfully, she didn't find hanging out at the skatepark and watching him that interesting. But then she had an idea.
"Maybe you could teach me how to do it sometime?" she suggested.
"Really?"
"Yeah, sure. Although, I did get warned by Sokolov earlier not to break my legs because she thinks I should try out for the girls' football team next year," said Mattie. "So, it depends on the risk of injury."
She hadn't expected him to fawn over her potentially joining the team, but that was what he did – as well as saying that he didn't want to do anything to ruin her chances of getting through try-outs the following September, so they should probably avoid any hoverboard lessons. This didn't make her all that keen on accompanying him while he skated around, but he did then promise to come and watch the matches.
"That's way in the future," she told him as he opened the door to the café, holding it for her to catch. He didn't stand and keep it open himself. "Maybe I won't even get onto the team."
"I'll keep my fingers crossed for you," he said. "What do you want to eat?"
"Just chips, I suppose," she said. And a huge ice cream when the chips were done. He went off to order using an old-fashioned screen, while Mattie sat down at a small table near the window. There was nobody else in there, but music was playing softly through the speakers. Who owned it and how expensive was it to run? Hopefully somebody would actually repair those robots if they broke down, though, trundling around the restaurant on tracks.
"Just us here," said Jake, sitting opposite her. "It's kind of, uh, kind of romantic." She wanted to make a joke about how such a clinical, brightly lit café wasn't her idea of romance but was then struck by the fact she had no idea what her idea of romance was at all. Plus, he looked awfully nervous.
"Maybe," she said, resting her arms on the table and leaning towards him.
"So… does Mrs Oswald know you're out with me?" he asked, propping his hoverboard against the chair. It fell over. "Bollocks, let me just…" It took a few more failed attempts of him dropping the thing and it clattering on the floor for him to decide to just leave it flat, shoving it underneath his chair and out of the way of the robot tracks. "Sorry…"
"It's fine," she smiled. "You're usually so cool and collected, it's nice to know that that's all an act."
"She doesn't mind, though?" he went on.
"Who? Clara? No. And she likes you, anyway; you're her favourite."
"That's not true. Everybody knows Hannah's her favourite."
"Eurgh. I can't think why."
"What is it with you two?" he said.
"There is no 'us two'," said Mattie. "She was just yelling at me earlier because – well, basically, Clara and Miller have colluded to force me to go to those revision sessions they do. And she practically shouted me out of the room."
"Right…" She thought he wasn't telling her something, but she really wasn't interested enough in Steph and Hannah's drama to ask. "Well, I'm glad Mrs Oswald likes me. It's good to know, for future reference."
"Future reference like what?"
"Just. You know. Future reference."
"Sure."
"Nothing weird."
"Are you trying to shag her, too?" said Mattie, "Like all the sixth formers?"
"Obviously, that's the only reason I'm out with you."
"Oh, okay. Do you want her number, then? Want to text her? Even though you're too scared to call her by her first time?" said Mattie. "I think Clara actually really enjoys when sixteen-year-old boys text her in the middle of the night to ask whether she's up."
"Ouch. I have much better lines than 'you up', thanks."
"Why don't you text me all your lines, so I can tell you whether they'll work on her or not?"
"Doesn't sound like a fair exchange," said Jake, "What do you get out of it?"
"Well, if you're trying to get close to her, you'll probably have to keep up the ruse of going out with me, won't you?"
"I see."
"Really, I'm just doing you a favour," she smiled at him.
"…This is a fun game, but I'm not Steph. I'm not hot for teacher," he looked down at his feet again.
A robot rumbled towards them with two plates of chips, and Jake carefully removed them and set them down on the table. Would he think she was weird if she asked for some Nutella to go with them? Hm. Probably. She decided not to.
Mattie's phone buzzed. She felt a bit rude to check it in front of him but was worried it might be Clara saying she wanted her home earlier than planned. It wasn't, though; it was a message, to her surprise, from Toby Wormwood in Year Twelve.
"Wormy wants to know if I'm free this weekend to 'go for a coffee' with him," she said. "Who goes for coffee?" That was the kind of thing that Clara and the Doctor would do – the kind of thing old people would do.
"I didn't know you talked to him."
"I don't. This is the second time he's messaged. I didn't reply to the first one."
"Do I have that much competition?"
She laughed and put her phone away, fully intending to never speak to Wormy or any of the other boys who sent her messages out of the blue.
"I'll be honest, you don't have any competition at all."
"Are you sure? Because if you want me to get into a fight with Wormy, I'll do that. I could take him."
"I don't think he's worth it," she said, laughing again.
"My band's playing a gig tomorrow night, then," he said. "I don't know if you might want to come. I mean, it'd be nice if you did – I'd like it." Her heart sank.
"I can't tomorrow, sorry. I've got to go up to London, one of my cousins is getting married," she said. "It's gonna be an all-day thing. When's the next one?"
"A week today. You should come along – if Mrs Oswald lets you. I'm not just good at hoverboarding, I'm great on bass."
"I've never been to a gig," she admitted, steadily getting through her chips.
"You should come, then."
"But I won't be with you, will I? You'll be on stage, with those groupies from school trying to grab you," she said.
"Girls from school don't actually come to our shows," he said. "It'll be good, you can sit in the green room with us."
"While you all smoke hash?"
"You don't have to smoke anything," he said. "I'd never make you-"
"I'll think about it," she said. "But, I don't know. If… if you want to go on a second date-"
"I definitely do," he interrupted her, and she smiled.
"In that case, I'd rather have it be just us. We could… go to the pier, or something. I haven't been yet since I moved here."
"God, no," he shook his head, "Anything but the pier. It's just tourists down there. You should see the real Brighton."
"Oh, okay," she said, crestfallen. He backtracked.
"If the pier is what you really want to do, then-"
"No, not if you're allergic to it. We can do something else."
"Mattie, really, it-"
"I'm sure we can find something we both want to do. We could even go to the cinema again."
"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm sure we can. I just like being around you, I don't care what we do." She felt those butterflies again.
His phone started ringing.
"I should, um…"
He pulled it out of his jeans pocket and grimaced at the screen. Mattie just about glimpsed Stefani's name. He answered it right away.
"What do you want? I'm out… I told you I was going out, I'm with Mattie… it's not like that," he said, turning away from her. She wondered what she wasn't like. Probably, Steph had something extremely blue. "Cholera jasna! What are you doing there? … And was it a good idea? … Oh, well, as long as it was fun… Can't Dennis pay? … Why let him chuck you out at all? … Yes, fine! I'll send you some money. Text me when you get home." He hung up on her.
"Dennis Fisher?" asked Mattie, "From the year above?"
"I want you to know," said Jake, eyes on his phone while he sorted out sending Stefani however much cash she'd asked for, "I don't treat people like she does."
"But, what about Hannah?" she asked. He didn't say anything. Nor had he denied that it was Dennis Fisher they'd been talking about, which led her to believe that it was. Dennis was on the boys' football team in the sixth form.
"I gave up keeping track of her personal life years ago."
"But just two months ago there was that thing about that girl from that stupid kayaking trip," said Mattie. Again, Jake said nothing. "She's giving bisexual people a bad name."
"She'd be just as bad if she was straight, believe me," he sighed. He turned off his phone and put it face-down on the table. "There. Done."
"What did she need the money for?"
"Cab."
"…Right…"
"What were we talking about? Our second date?"
"Yeah, we-" Mattie stopped talking when a new song started playing, the string section swelling, until-
"And they called it puppy love…" ["Puppy Love" – Donny Osmond]
"For God's sake…"
"Oh, I guess they'll never know…" Donny Osmond continued. Jake was laughing. "How the young heart really feels… And I why I love her so…" Brass came in. "And they called it puppy love… Just because we're in our teens…"
"Hang the bloody DJ," Mattie shook her head. "This is ghastly."
"It's not too bad," said Jake, only amused.
"We were organising another date?" said Mattie, wanting to forget about the song choice. Were the robots trying to embarrass her? "I was going to say that I'll be busy for a lot of next week. I've got this geography assessment for the next fortnight, and I think we have to work on it extra outside of school. But, after that should be fine."
"After that when our exams start?" he said.
"Well, maybe the geography won't take that much time, I don't know. What I do know is that I'll make the time to see you because, yeah, I do actually like you – a lot. And I also know that I might die if I don't get some ice cream in the next five minutes."
"Your wish is my command."