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The following is a fan-based
FICTION
Genshin Impact is owned by MiHoyo.
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Chapter 39: A Most Divine Right
P.S. I now have a discord server! Discord .gg/ceBMM2Zz6c
Trigger Warning: One of the most hated NPCs gets a new hole torn into him.
It took me a while to find some 'free time' to properly engage in the wonderful deed of 'giving the holy sister a loving pounding'.
Considering how tedious of a job it was to craft the right kind of airplane to conduct the long flight to Sumeru, to also have enough fuel to make it, some defenses, and enough space to carry a few more passengers, the effort behind it was indeed frustrating. However, the chance to put a divine rod into a most nun-like puss-puss had the inner monkey of mine in action.
Hey hey, Bukharin here [and not the guy that made a review on Breeders of Nephilim], and today we are going to a wonderful trip to get the holy spirit exerted into the 'little idol sister of Grandmommymaster Jean'. Now, I would normally be more 'giddy' at the chance to propel my sexual expertise to new levels, but today was indeed going to be interesting.
Rosaria's words [and firm ass] were deeply ingrained in my mind as she came to me and I came inside her during my trip into the [Ice King's lair] Dragonspine. Barbara was a treat, but I never expected her to be that frisky. So, I was waltzing into the church in my monkly good mood when I finally saw Barbara - the girl had noticed me before I noticed her - and got taken outside the church to 'talk about the silly stuff'.
"So, how may I 'help you' with?"
The girl offered a shy smile, then a blush and her eyes were averting from my form.
"I-I would like for you to teach me about the matters of sex. The act of... making love."
"Hmm? Can I ask why? Not like I am saying no but-"
I mean, I had to ask, and I could tell Barbara was going to tell me about it as she was about to speak up as I was finishing that question when our little interaction got disrupted by a problem. Perhaps I never mentioned this to anyone[, my fellow 4channers,] but this world has a simp problem too.
In most cases, this wasn't as intense or as demented as in the modern terminology, but today, my beloved gulagists, I have found the man, the bitch and bastard at the same time, that successfully crippled my good mood and made me a furious piece of shit for the duration of the day.
"Barbara!"
Let me introduce you...
"A-Albert?"
Normal NPC at first glance with the classic civilian gear, no vision- he was pretty much a nobody. And soon, he would become even less than that in my eyes.
"Barbara- W-Wait, is this a hilichurl?"
Fright, how delightful.
"It's John, the one that will first teach me how to do it before... you know."
Before what?
He perked up at her words and I found this strange exchange worthy of a big fucking frown. "You- You are considering it? You are going to give me your purity for real?"
...The fuck?
"Hold on, what is going on, Barbara?"
"The reason I wanted to ask you to teach me is because of Albert. He has been quite unpleasant many times, but he promised me he would stop if I gave him my... purity."
...
...
"Uh?" YOU FUCKING WHAT?!
"I know it's like a lot, but I want to remember something important about you, Barbara. Then, I will not bother you ever again and-"
"I think you will fucking stop bothering her right now."
My outburst had the two jump at once as I had switched to my human form and I had a hand on the bastard's shoulder before slamming him onto the nearest wall.
"W-What are you doing?!" Barbara asked loudly, looking aghast on my action, but I gave her a look which stopped any interest of hers to intervene. She just stood there, stunned silent as I dealt with this pathetic waste of space.
"I-I did nothing wrong-"
"You tried to coerce a sexual favor from an individual that was unaware of sex, forgive me if I find this to be horribly criminal and worthy of jailtime. Would you like to explain what was the master plan in potentially raping the sister of the Acting Grandmaster of the Knight of Favonius?!"
He was pale, his legs were wobbly as he trembled before me. "I-I was just- I just like her-"
"And this makes you entitle to gaslight her? To make her think that this is a 'nothing' that she can give to you. Do you think I am a dumb bastard, punk?!"
"I-I am sorry- I will not-"
"You will never bother her again and, if I hear you are trying to do anything around this order, then you better pray Barbatos that I don't fucking castrate you!"
"S-Sorry!"
I pulled him to the ground and let him run away. He didn't even bother turning to Barbara, crying and possibly pissing himself as I saw his pants were now a darker shade than before. Right as I was about to speak to her, the nun did the 'unthinkable'.
She slapped me. She motherfucking slapped me after I defended her from that piece of utter garbage!
But I saw tears. And I saw confusion. I saw hurt. I saw a lot of bullshit that amounted to personal inability to know what to do but 'lash out'. Barbara appeared stunned when I took a step forward, disregarding the slap, but didn't step away as I caught her in a hug.
"Sorry that you had to see that, Barbara. I know you have a lot of questions, but that guy tried to hurt you a lot, and I had to step in."
"W-Why?" She muffled against my chest. "W-What was he trying to do? What did he mean with- with purity?"
"He meant claiming your virginity. It meant he would have put his penis in you, robbed you of your purity and then maybe also left you pregnant."
Those words were heavy despite how quiet and soft my tone had gotten. The moods of before were gone. For a moment, I thought I was not talking with someone that I barely knew but someone that reminded me of... Of my sister.
Barbara was about the same age as Mary, I bet the two would have hit it off quite well, but I also knew that Barbara was softer and more naive. And since Jean was mostly busy with her role, she could hardly make time to see how things were with her sister.
So, I knew that, despite her immense confusion, despite her realization and despite her kindness, the girl was actually a moment away from-
Crying and let it all out.
Barbara didn't ask questions, she just grasped my shirt and sobbed against it. I stood there quietly, the hug tightening as she tried to burrow more of her face against me and the noise was further muffled. we stood like this for roughly ten minutes.
She was apologizing, she was so upset and yet unsure on how to digest what happened. And then, the crying ended and she was just... somber.
"Better?"
The girl nodded slowly. "Y-Yeah."
"It's not your fault, sugarcube. But you are clearly stressed and at times very naive."
"I just want to make them all happy."
"You will never be able to make them happy all the time. Because people will be greedy and because you are not the deity they wish you to be."
This last line had her eyes widen up. "D-Deity?"
"When you are an idol, you tend to become a role model in the sense of something 'unreachable'. You gain so much worth in their eyes, you are worshiped by them- and no, I can see it in your eyes but you are not doing anything heretical."
"B-But Lord Barbatos-"
"Would definitely know it's not your fault and find grievance with how things are going with his own believers. It's up to them, within their freedom, to exert their opinions through words and deeds. Albert was one, but there are many, and some of those are not going to bother coaxing you into something so important."
Barbara sighed at that. "So... what should I do? I mean, you know about Barbatos so what would he tell me to do?"
"Oh, so now I am a prophet of his?" I asked cheekily, making her blush a tiny bit at that claim but I was just joking. "I can speak for myself, but I know Barbatos would nod at this too, and I think what you need is less burden because you are clearly being overwhelmed by chores and you need to ask some private questions with people you trust."
"L-Like?"
"Your sister."
Barbara gasped. "B-But then I would have to tell her-"
"Yep."
"But Albert-"
"No."
"I didn't-"
"I know what you are trying to say and I don't condone 'dropping it' as a solution," I flatly interrupted once more. "I helped you because you need a reliable individual to give you some time, but the rest is up to you. If you don't do it, then I will and you will have to also face a very upset big sister going at your butt."
She tensed up at this and... she closed her eyes. "Do- Do I have to?"
"You have."
"I guess I will tell her then," She mumbled, then opened her eyes. "But... can I ask you a question?"
I nodded and-
"I-Is it true that you and Rosaria both- She said that you two have... you know." The girl was now blushing at that topic.
"I gave her a pounding. Why?"
"I-I thought about what you said. About virgin people-"
"She wasn't a virgin," I interrupted calmly and she looked shocked.
"Really?" Barbara pressed on it. "I thought that she was not the kind of woman that- that would do that."
"You would be surprised how many ladies have a sexual life despite not looking the part. In fact, I will let you on a secret."
She perked up. "I-Is it a big secret?"
I leaned to her hear and told her it. Barbara gasped, hands to her mouth and then she nodded, eyes morphing in a determined and focused stare as she digested what I was telling her.
"That explains why sister is so happy when Lisa is visiting her office for the reports," Barbara commented, then smiled. "Still, I am happy that they are like that and they are well with each other."
"Just don't go around telling anyone that."
"I will not and... thank you, John."
I smiled and patted her head, unconsciously having her stiff with the gesture as I left.
"Anytime, sugarcube."
What I hadn't realized was that my little heart-to-heart talk may have stirred a little trouble in the form of a nunly but very horny cute girl.
But for now, I focused on dealing with Sumeru. I could say things were going to get crazier in that regard.
AN
Next time... we go in Green Hell!
Also, the next time the MC faces Barbara... she may have a few more info to add to her available knowledge and... she will be ready for him.