Jeremy

Jeremy was sitting behind a waterfall, and in front of it the sun was shining. He liked it when it was this way. The sparkling water reminded him of his mother's sparkly hair, especially when the sun shone, and the way the water sang and gurgled over the ledge and rocks above and below reminded him of her voice.

He liked to think about her, sometimes. He didn't remember, exactly, but he could feel her somewhere inside himself, and that was what he liked. Jason had said that was the best way to remember. Whether that was true or not, he didn't know. It was the only way he did.

He'd probably find out, now that Da was dead. He could remember Da pretty good, especially the mean things, but then he'd got good again. It was nice when Da was nice again. That was something to think about, but not right now, when Mama's hair was shining and her voice was happy.

Jason and Josh were working. The men had came, and the rules were the same as last year about telling where he was going to be and they told him where they would be working. Plus he had more work he could do. He called it work, and Jason called it Jeremy's work. Josh called it make-work, and annoying.

Josh was annoying.

Jason had laughed when Jeremy scowled and said that, then explained that was part of being a brother. Annoyance meant they cared how you acted.

Yeah, maybe, but that wasn't really important.

Did Jason mean he got annoyed at him, too? That was what was important. Was that why Jason yelled at him when Jason was mad at Josh? Because he was as annoying as Josh?

"I wish you really was Mama," he told the falling water. "Then I could ask you."

A few days later, at the cabin

"Jeremy."

"Huh?" Jeremy looked up from the dish he was drying.

"What would you think of getting back to school?"

"Even if it's s-summer?"

"You don't like the idea, do you?"

Jeremy shrugged. It wasn't like he could say no if Jason said he had to go.

"That's not an answer," Jason said with false patience.

Jeremy shrugged again.

"When I ask you something, I expect an answer."

"No."

"No? You don't want to go to school? You've never had a problem with it before. You even tried to go when you were ill."

"It's not before,"Jeremy said flatly. "It's after."

"After what?" Josh joined the conversation.

"After having p-parents." He put away the last dish. And hung the towel near the fireplace to dry.

The older brothers shared a baffled look.

"You were going to school for Da?" Jason finally asked.

Jeremy shook his head.

"You are the most exasperating child!"

"Is that the same as an-n-noying?"

Josh snorted.

"Close enough," Jason answered cautiously. He'd learned to be wary of the most innocent of questions from this little brother.

Much to his surprise, Jeremy grinned. "G-guess I'm jus' b-bein' me."

After a moment, Jason laughed. "If you mean being an annoying little brother, I guess you are."

"I don't wanna know," Josh decided. He had a good idea, though.

"Can we talk about school now?" Jason asked.

Jeremy shrugged and grinned. "Why?"

"I was thinking it might keep you more occupied during the days when we're 'll have plenty of time to wander the mountain still since the days will be getting longer the next few months, and I won't have to worry about where you are whenever the crew moves to a new area."

"You don't have to explain everything," Josh commented.

"But I do. We all agreed, even before Da took sick, that we three would be as open and equal as we could be, under the circumstances at the time of the decision."

"Well, yeah, there is that."

"Plus it would be nice to have someone frequently in town so we can keep up with what's going on there."

"Oh. That's your motive."

"One of several considerations."

Josh laughed.

"Well, Jeremy? What do you think? Or do you need time to think it over?"

"I don't wanna," Jeremy answered slowly.

"Alright then. I'll have to think of another way to know you're safe while we're working."

"B-because it's hard to be re-spon-si-ble for lots of people when they are all other p-places?"

"A little bit. That's nothing you need to be worried about. Your only responsibility is your own self."

"It is? I th-thought I was your responsible-ity"

"Hmm. Well, that's where it gets complicated. I'm responsible to take care of you – and Josh –"

"- and ev'body?"

"Not every body. Just the people I – um – deal with daily. Like the men I order to do dangerous work, and things like that."

"Aren't they re-re-res-res- don't they have to be that for their selfs, too?"

"I said it was complicated. Responsibilities are – well, they're shared. We each have responsibility to the people we meet and they have responsibility to us, just because we come together."

"Why?"

"I don't know why. Because that's just the way it is, I suppose."

Jeremy looked doubtful.

"What?"

"H-how come – why – was you n Josh y'yelling about 'em? When you was yelling so m-mean?"

Jason took a deep breath and blew it out. "We were both angry. Haven't you ever been so mad that you hate everything the other person has done since their first breath and you want to blame them for everything you ever got in trouble for?"

Jeremy shook his head.

"Well then, you have that to look forward to." This conversation was getting out of hand.

"And we'll look backward at it," Josh concluded. (He must have been thinking the same thing.)

"I'm going outside," Jeremy said, and did so.