Accidental Ambassador
Vala's efforts to keep a certain archeologist alive result in an interesting title change or two. Daniel is simply flabbergasted, and just a little bit worried he'll become the star of the next hit space porn.
Chapter 1
"They're going to what?" Vala leaned forward with narrowed eyes. Her hands itched for the knife in her boot as she sized up the informant sitting across from her. All around them the tavern bustled with the usual cacophony of conversation and drunkenness. Bare minimum light shone from dim lamps, casting a sickly, yellow glow over all it touched.
"Kill 'im," the informant said, his voice thick with an unfamiliar accent.
"When?" she demanded, voice growing darker.
"When he shows up at tha meetin'. If I were 'im, I'd turn tail an' run."
"If you were him, we'd all be dead," she muttered under her breath. She covered her retort with the jingle of her coin purse. The heavy brown cloth dropped on the table.
The informant, dirty-faced and foul-smelling, carefully pulled open the bag to inspect its contents. He nodded in affirmation and whisked the purse into his jacket. "Good luck, luv. Yer goin' ta need it." He laughed heartily as he stood up and left.
Vala fought the urge to bang her head on the table. Wasn't this just like Daniel to be the target of an interstellar assassination attempt? She nursed her ale, wondering about the best way to break the news to a man with the most incredible knack for attracting trouble that she'd ever seen. She decided that blunt and to-the-point would be best. He'd believe her more readily if she didn't precede her bad news with half-assed jokes and innuendo. And yet half-assed jokes and innuendo did wonders to calm her nerves.
Hours later and back home at the SGC, she found him briefing a team of marines on the T-people, as she called them. Vala couldn't remember their actual name for the life of her. She could, however, tell that these marines had been here for more than an hour. Their eyes were glazed over and their sitting positions relaxed. Proof enough that they were bored. Daniel made eye contact with her briefly to acknowledge her presence but continued on with his lecture as if uninterrupted.
Vala declined the seat offered to her by the closest marine. She barely registered his smile and wink. One quick glance told her he'd be a worthy companion for lonely nights, but she had business to attend to. She needed to stay focused. As Daniel droned on, she realized easily that he was off on another tangent. The marines didn't need details about the possible origins of the T-people or their unlikely connection to this, that, or the other dead civilization on Earth.
Her insistence on standing told Daniel something was up. Another look in her direction, and he saw that she hadn't bothered to change clothes since arriving home from offworld. Okay, something was up. Vala raised an eyebrow and cocked her head toward the group of marines. It was then, an hour and fifteen minutes into his presentation, that Daniel actually looked at his audience. Aw crap, I did it again.
He cleared his throat. "Right, in conclusion…" Vala let Daniel finish his thought then shooed the marines out of the briefing room.
"Off you go." She leaned in to whisper to the last marine, "Quick before he thinks of something else to say." He nodded in agreement and got the hell out of there, grateful for her interference.
When she turned back to Daniel, he stood there with arms crossed. "I heard that," he said, lacing his words with annoyance.
Vala tsked. She bounded over to him and pushed him to sit in one of the chairs. Hands on his shoulders and standing over him, she began, "Darling."
"Yes, Vala?"
"Remember when we first met the T-people, and Mitchell said they looked like some monsters right out of a creature feature, complete with the bad attitude and predilection for human flesh?"
Daniel blinked, taking an extra second to process her words. "Yes," he said tentatively. She placed an index finger on his lips to keep him quiet so she could continue. No doubt he'd correct her use of the term "T-people" and offer the ridiculously long name they actually used.
"And then you found out they can communicate and are in fact quite intelligent?"
"Uh huh," he responded, allowing her finger to remain over his lips for now.
"And then you decided how nice it would be to meet their queen and possibly establish some sort of peaceful accord?"
Daniel was a patient person. With Vala, he had to be or else he would go insane. "Mmm hmm."
"Well, I have bad news."
He casually placed a hand on hers to remove it from his face. "Of course you do." Vala plopped down on his lap. He didn't push her off, already used to this. Fighting it had long lost its worth. His hands settled on the arms of the chair.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "They're going to kill you, Darling."
"What!?"
"I think it's supposed to be some sort of example to ward off others who would interfere in their affairs. To show their might and unwillingness to negotiate."
"Where did you hear this?"
"I have my sources."
It was then that General Landry and Mitchell walked in. The General coughed. Vala scooted off of Daniel's lap. He stood out of respect for the General, but maintained a frown at this latest gossip.
"I take it Vala just shared what she learned with you."
"You've heard this, too, sir?"
"I have. What has she told you so far?"
"That they might kill me," Daniel answered while glancing at her, not really believing it.
Vala chimed in, "Correction. They will kill you. If you go, that is."
"What possible reason would a race of people I barely even know have to kill me?"
Mitchell stepped forward. "We're not too sure yet. But while you were in here killing marines softly with your words," (at this Daniel shot a glare toward his CO) "your department was deciphering the Ancient text we found on the Thy, Thyroidy… ah hell, the T-people." Vala grinned at that last part.
"My department?"
"Yes, Daniel," Vala offered helpfully in a tone usually reserved for children, "I was just as surprised to discover this myself. You have a group of underlings who answer to you. Isn't it incredible? And all this time we thought you were the only translator on the base." She clasped her hands together. "Just think of all the dates we could have been on if you had only known to delegate." She made sure to place air quotes around the term. She quirked a smile at Daniel's obvious irritation.
"Vala," he started through gritted teeth, "I know I have a department!"
"Dr. Jackson." Landry's tone told him to get over it. Everyone knew that she was riling him up for no good reason other than to see him flustered.
Daniel's next retort died on his tongue. He vowed to get her for this later. Somehow. Mitchell continued on with his original point unfazed. "Anyway, the linguists think they've figured out what the T-people really are. A cross between Furlings and some indigenous species from a planet far, far away."
"And what does this have to do with them wanting to kill me, or so you say?"
"They survive on things that we don't."
"In other words, Dr. Jackson, we think they eat humans," Landry clarified.
"Predilection for human flesh," Daniel murmured.
"This is one time that I wish I was wrong," Mitchell muttered.
"There is one piece of good news that your underlings found, Darling." Daniel raised an eyebrow in Teal'c fashion at the term 'underlings.' "They eat other things as well. As long as they have another source of food, they won't waste their time with us."
Mitchell chimed in, "Maybe because we'd squirm too much."
"Hmm," Daniel mumbled, contemplating. "I think we should still go ahead with the meeting." Vala was about to protest loudly, but he waved her off. "If only to convince this queen of theirs that there is an alternate source of food in this galaxy. What else do they eat, anyway?"
Mitchell and Landry shared a look. The General motioned for his subordinate to continue. "We're not too sure, but it sounds like they have a taste for naquedah."
"That makes no sense. How could living beings alternate between eating flesh and naquedah?"
"Like I said, we still have to clarify it."
"Son, I'm not going to force you to go through with this meet and greet. In fact, I don't recommend it. However…" Vala groaned outwardly. "We do need to learn as much as we can about this new species in case we have to defend ourselves."
"I take it, General, I am to do this at my own risk."
Landry nodded affirmatively. "Should anyone volunteer to assist you, then I will allow it," he hinted. The members of SG-1 shared a thoughtful, if not slightly worried, look.
000
Vala took it upon herself to lead one of the SG teams to scout the meeting place ahead of time. Damned if she was going to let Daniel die – he was an excellent source of entertainment. The T-people had chosen a little-known planet on the edge of the galaxy. The air was barely breathable and the scenery less inviting. Unsurprisingly, this uninhabited planet was deemed unworthy of a stargate by the Ancients.
With her borrowed Alkesh loitering in cloak somewhere nearby, Vala blew out a breath of frustration. By her assessment, this location put her side at a disadvantage. There was no foliage to cover them and very few landmarks to aid in navigating the land by foot. Should her companions need to run, there would be little chance of them regaining their bearings and finding their way back to the ship.
Her expression was mirrored by the other members of SG-14. It was a two-woman, two-man team. This particular unit was led by a female, Lt. Greene, with whom Vala got along just fine. Her second-in-command was Major Perez: cute, but not her type. The others were a doctor, Lynn something-or-other, and another soldier, Captain oh-she-forgot-his-name. Vala had yet to acquaint herself with every member of the SGC. She often complained that Daniel kept her too busy.
Lt. Greene stepped closer to Vala as she stared off into the distance. "Take a look over there," she suggested. "Those mountains look promising."
"Too bad they're very far away."
"Not too far for a cloaked ship or two."
Vala smiled. "I like the way you think. Set up a couple of ships for back-up in case things get nasty."
"The T-people should be none the wiser and won't have to take offense at our precautions."
"We should call in that request now before our guests arrive." Lt. Greene nodded and motioned for one of her people to join her. Her 2IC followed and disappeared with her onto the cloaked ship.
The doctor, a somewhat attractive woman in her forties, ran over to the captain's position. She was showing him the readings from her handheld instrument and looking very distressed. The young captain stole a look at Vala, who took that as her cue to find out what was wrong. "Well, what is it?" she asked as she walked over.
"I think we've got company," the man whispered.
"What?"
"These readings, Ms. Mal Doran, take a look." Vala studied the display but couldn't make sense of them. Where was Sam when she needed her?
The doctor caught her perplexed look and explained. "They're showing elevated levels of EM energy in this vicinity, inconsistent with the planet's natural electromagnetic forces."
"Ships," Vala said, now understanding the implication of the data. "Cloaked ships."
"Yes. I only detected it because I knew that our own ship is also cloaked. The energy signatures are similar."
"They could be watching us right now," the captain said worriedly.
"Surely they can't fault us for taking a peek at our meeting place," the doctor pondered.
"No way to know until we meet them," Vala said seriously. She was suddenly feeling trapped, like fish in water tanks. Everyone could see her, but she couldn't make heads or tails of the outside world. "Act casual. Maybe if they don't know that we know then they'll leave us alone?" Vala didn't sound too sure.
The captain leaned in. "But they must have seen Lt. Greene and Major Perez disappear onto the ship. Hell, they might have seen us appear out of nowhere when we disembarked."
"No need to panic. For all we know it will make us look weak and good eats."
The doctor sucked in a breath. Despite her many missions off-world, she still maintained a healthy fear of the unknown, especially flesh-eating unknowns. She nodded at Vala's words, still unsure.
"Vala!" Everyone jumped. Perez was hanging out of the cloaked door, half his body shrouded in the fake image of the land beyond the ship itself. "Message for you on the comms." Motioning for the other two to follow, she made her way back onto the ship. "What's up with you guys?" Perez wondered. His subordinate and the doctor proceeded to explain while Vala moved up front to see her message.
It was Daniel. "Vala, we've been delayed. The Hammond ran into some trouble with the Lucian Alliance on the way there. We're okay now but we're maxing out the hyperdrive just to make it on time. I'm not sure if we will. Let me know what you've found there when you can." The screen indicated the message had ended.
"If the T-people are already here and Dr. Jackson doesn't show up, don't we risk offending them?" Perez asked.
"Probably," Vala muttered.
"Look, something's happening outside," Lt. Greene said. Through the window of their ship, they could see small ships of strange configurations decloaking nearby. Soon dark figures began to emerge from the open doors.
"That's them," Vala recognized.
"I am so glad we're inside," the doctor murmured.
The aliens began to approach their position. "Greene, we should decloak now."
"Right." The team leader tapped the console and turned off the cloak. Their ship was now exposed. "Now what? You've met them before; we haven't."
"Ha, so I'm the expert now. Since when did I take over for Daniel?"
Perez spoke up. "It looks like they're waiting for us to come outside."
"Let's not keep them waiting, shall we?" Vala steeled herself for what would inevitably be a confrontation. She prayed to whatever ascended being who might be listening that her ability to stall would be adequate today. "Doctor, why don't you stay here and bounce a message back to the Hammond? Let Daniel know of our little development here."
The other woman nodded, silently grateful for the reprieve from having to go back outside. Her CO added, "We'll keep the comms open so you can monitor what's going on. When the Hammond is in range, ask for a live feed so Dr. Jackson can offer a little advice as we go."
"Good idea, Greene." Vala led the way out, weapons ready but partially hidden. As she stepped down the short ramp, Greene and Perez flanked her from slightly behind, with their captain on the six. "Greetings," she addressed the party of aliens assembled before her. They wore dark black robes and stood twice as tall as any normal human. The robes obscured their real appearance.
"Greetings," a mechanical voice responded. "We are the Thybridiagardeguans."
"We are… er… the Tau'ri. Humans."
"We know," the leader responded in a flat tone.
"I must offer a humble apology," Vala began, trying to channel some Daniel Jackson diplomacy, "for the arrival of our delegation comes at a different time than was agreed." She hoped that was neutral enough to say that the big boys were late without actually saying they were late.
"Your apology is unnecessary. We are honored by your early arrival to the meeting place. It is a sign of respect amongst our race."
Vala's eyes went wide for a second. "Oh, of course, ours, too." She smiled widely.
The dark-cloaked figures began to mumble among themselves. Vala and her companions tried not to look worried. "If you are ready, Ambassador Jackson, the queen awaits your arrival on her vessel."
Vala gulped. They thought she was Daniel. Maybe they couldn't tell the difference between a male and a female human. Or maybe they never knew Daniel was a male. Either way, she would be marked for death the minute she stepped foot on their ship. "If you would allow me a moment to send word to my people, I would like to tell them that we have made contact. It will only be a minute," she said, backing away slowly.
"Surely, one of your underlings can perform that task for you."
Lt. Greene stepped closer to whisper into Vala's ear. "I'm not leaving your side." She motioned for the young captain to get back inside and make a report.
"We are pleased to see that your species values its females as the rightful possessors of power. Our queen will look kindly on that revelation."
Vala plastered a fake smile in affirmation. She, Lt. Greene, and Major Perez followed the alien delegation toward one of their ships. No wonder they were going to kill Daniel. He's male. Females have the power. I can use this to my advantage.
000
No one in the accidental Earth delegation could make heads or tails of the ship they had just entered. While on the outside the vessel appeared small, on the inside it seemed a vast maze of interconnected walkways. The team stared about in wonder and suspicion as their alien counterparts led them silently through the ship.
They soon came upon a large, open space. It was as if they'd stepped through the gate and entered another world. The holographic projection of a sky, a real-looking sky, was quite convincing. It seemed to stretch up endlessly into a green-tinted haze complete with two moons. Strange foliage greeted them most of the way through. It seemed to bend and twist as it sensed the presence of strangers. Some resembled short trees while others mimicked the shape of bushes on a picturesque American front lawn. Most of the foliage, however, consisted of thin reeds that constantly changed formation as they passed. Of all the exotic places Vala had ever graced, this was by far the most peculiar.
A doorway led them to a hall with vines creeping along the walls. Branches slowly receded as they approached a dark door at the end of the corridor. A single light, shining deep purple, blinked on and off. One of the cloaked aliens waved a clawed limb at it. The door gave a loud creak and disappeared into the wall as it opened. Beyond it was bright light, almost too bright to bear.
Vala and her people had to shield their eyes as they entered. They could not determine the source of the light. The cloaked figures stepped into a semi-circle formation around a short dais. They lifted spiked limbs to pull back their garments and reveal their true nature. Vala shivered. Mitchell had not been kidding when he said these creatures were the stuff of nightmares.
She sensed Lt. Greene and Major Perez holding back gasps. Neither had had the pleasure of meeting these aliens in the flesh before now. Vala was glad that the weak-stomached doctor and her young Captain friend were back on the Alkesh. The five escorts balanced effortlessly on their third hind legs. The two legs they each used to walk here floated aimlessly in the air. Their bodies were black, covered in short, prickly fur that glistened in the intense light. Their upper limbs had two joints each, allowing for a wide range of motion. Such motion would probably prove fatal if they chose to swing their pointed, insect-like limbs. Their heads were not easy to look at for long. Three eyes tended to get creepy after a while.
The middle alien carefully leaned forward to tap a foot on the dais. It began to rotate and rise out of the floor. Once two feet high, its top opened up and a figure began to rise out of it. This looked to be yet another member of this strange alien species. The only difference that Vala could see were the markings on the creature's torso, if you could call it that. Once the dais stopped spinning and rising, the alien stepped forward and extended a limb.
Her hooked apparatus suddenly split into five little spikes, almost resembling the shape of a human hand. They were like knives dancing in a dangerous formation toward Vala.
A blue-tinged marking glowed as the new alien arrival released guttural sounds. The translation was choppy at best. "Ambassador Jackson, you may not yet expire after all."
Vala gulped. Usually the word 'expire' referred to spoiled milk. But she knew well enough that it also meant death. She nodded her head wordlessly, unsure of how to respond to a comment that an alien isn't ready to kill you quite yet.
"This shell is called Aleathias-lur-katru. Your human communication system is unable to pronounce the entire name with proper respect. You have permission to shorten this shell's designation so that you may overcome your human deficiencies and focus on this meeting."
Perez and Greene's mouths dropped open. Vala took a moment to soak that all in. She felt both insulted and accommodated at the same time. "Alright," she replied, hesitantly, "how about… err… Katru?"
"Sufficient." The alien seemed to bow its head in approval, if that was the correct emotion to attach to such a gesture.
"Huh."
"We are prepared to hear your proposals."
Vala blinked. "Proposals?" she half-squeaked.
The choppy translation continued over the alien's native guttural gibberish. Katru's indecipherable blue marking glowed as it spoke. "Our research has shown that your species is amenable to negotiations prior to engaging in full-on war. We previously underestimated your intelligence. We have determined that your species may yet be more valuable alive than exterminated."
"Oh," Vala laughed nervously. "Perhaps you can tell us what makes my… species… slightly more appealing to you alive." She glanced sideways at Lt. Greene, who caught her look. She looked to her other side at Perez, who very slowly dropped his hand closer to his side arm. Both seemed to understand that they had better be ready to run.
"You meet our nutritional needs."
Vala took in a breath and made a slight step back. In response, the five creatures in formation around their representative shifted their weight back to their forelegs. Their third hind legs now floated aimlessly behind them.
"But not all members of your species are as useful as the rest."
Vala furrowed her brow.
"How's that?"
"Only a small percentage contain the valuable mineral which we prefer to consume."
"Is there a name for this mineral? Perhaps I know it and can tell you of another source."
"Yartudesnifciantus."
Her eyebrow twitched. They were so screwed. "I believe we might have some of that," Vala lied. "Uhh, just to be sure, can you describe it to me? We lowly, little humans may have a different name for it."
"It is harvested from solid planetary material. It is explosive when exposed to heat, stable at all other times." Vala began ticking off a list of possible minerals the alien might be referring to. Perez nudged her arm. He mouthed something to her.
Her eyes squinted at him, not understanding.
"Naquedah," he whispered a little louder.
Vala faced the alien quickly. "You say this mineral is found in some of our population's bodies?"
"Affirmative."
"Such as in mine?"
"Correct."
"But not theirs?" Vala continued, gesturing to her comrades.
"Indeed."
"Naquedah," she said with realization. "You want naquedah."
"If that is the name you use for it, then yes. We demand this… naquedah."
Vala perked up. "And what would you provide in return for our supplies of this mineral?"
"In return?" Now the alien seemed confused.
"Yes. We can't just give you the naquedah we have without getting something back from you."
The alien representative shifted its weight forward, no longer balancing on its hind leg. Its claw-like limbs lashed out in front of it.
"I sure hope you didn't insult it," Greene whispered.
"What do you propose?"
"That depends, what do you have?"
"Vala," Greene whispered again, "are you sure about this?"
"This is suddenly a trade negotiation. I'm good with those. Trust me." Greene nudged her harshly with her foot. Vala ignored her gesture of warning.
The alien seemed to stand higher on the dais. "We offer nothing."
A chime sounded, and all the aliens seemed to pause, as if listening. Their awkward silence lasted a few minutes. Vala was too curious to interrupt. She glanced at her companions, none sure what to think.
"Explain this."
An opening in the floor between them appeared. Another lifeform rose up through the hole, only this time, the lifeform was human. The person was surrounded by a cylindrical force field of translucent green energy and looking profoundly confused.
"Why does this one claim to be Ambassador Jackson?"
Vala's eyes went wide. Daniel turned around to see her and started banging on the inside of the force field. "Vala!" his muffled voice could be heard. Now he looked a bit angry at her.
"Ha ahh uhh errr, you said that your people have done research, correct? On our species?" she said quickly.
The representative tilted its head impatiently.
"Oh well, well, you would know then, that, umm, it is customary for mates to share their names!"
Daniel stopped pounding on his makeshift cell long enough to drop open his mouth. He could apparently hear everything clearly.
"This is your mate?"
She grinned nervously. "This is my mate! Of course he claims to be Ambassador Jackson because he is my mate, and we share names!"
"A male representative is not acceptable to us."
Vala made a face at Daniel, secretly telling him that it was no wonder they would have killed him. He was neither tasty nor female. "Rest assured, my dear Katru, I am the one in charge in this relationship." Daniel scowled.
"Then why does this human demand to be within our audience?"
"Oh no no no, he only demands to stand at my side! Truly, there is no need to exterminate my mate. You can't really blame him. He can't help himself!"
Daniel turned on an indignant look and slammed a fist at the force field, wishing he could strangle Vala.
"Very well."
The force field dropped, and Daniel stumbled out. Perez moved forward to steady him, leading him to stand with their delegation. Daniel glared at Vala then turned to face his temporary captors. "Vala," he warned through gritted teeth.
"Shut up or they'll kill you," she whispered.
He clamped his mouth shut.
"Now, about that negotiation we were having…"
Another chime sounded. The aliens paused to listen to some unheard message again, leaving the humans among them to glance at each other.
"We must adjourn to recharge with nutrition. You will not be harmed as of yet, Ambassador Jackson. Our scans show you are not in need of nutrition. You will remain within our realm and await our return. Dismiss your minions. You may keep your mate at your side."
The five alien escorts split off into groups. Two loomed over Greene and Perez, herding them away from the scene and back the way they came. Two others seemed to be encouraging Vala and her so-called mate into another corridor they had never noticed before. The fifth stayed at the representative's side. With little choice, the humans separated. Vala reminded herself that military protocol would guarantee the SGC would hear about this latest development… as long as they let Greene and Perez out alive.
Vala and Daniel stepped into a darkened corridor with a musty scent. It took their eyes a moment to adjust from the harsh light of the meeting place to this ominous-looking hallway. The walls seemed to move. He slowed behind Vala but was then brushed past by their two escorts. The feel of their short fur on his bare arm was enough to make him shiver in fright.
They followed the winding pathway and their alien escorts to a single door. With the wave of an alien limb, it opened into a dimly lit box. There was little more than a bench of sorts to sit on and a light source on the far wall. Once inside, the door closed behind them and their alien hosts were gone.
Daniel turned to Vala and put his hands on his hips in annoyance. "Mate?"
Vala grinned sheepishly. "Had to think on my feet, Darling. How else was I going to talk them out of killing you?
He groaned loudly in irritation. This was absolutely not the way this meeting should have gone. He sat on the small bench they had been provided while Vala explained everything that happened prior to his arrival. The details seemed to placate him temporarily.
"So now," Vala went on, "we need to get our stories straight." She sat next to him on the bench and patted his knee.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, if they start asking questions, we need to be certain of our answers. Where is the naquedah we will supposedly be supplying to save our hides? How will we arrange for them to receive it? How long have we been married?" She threw that last question in for good measure.
"One, I have no idea which source of naquedah the SGC would want to offer up, if any at all. Two, I would imagine a neutral zone of space to drop it off, if we do this at all. And three, no. Just no."
Vala scrunched up her face at him, then hit him on the arm. "Daniel. They only tolerate you because of your supposed connection to me, a female with naquedah in her blood. So unless you want to be the queen's dinner, you will marry me," she spoke with determination.
Daniel's eyes narrowed. "Oh, you've never been more romantic," he declared, voice dripping with sarcasm. Vala hit his other arm. He swatted her away. "How did we find ourselves in a situation that requires us to pre…" It occurred to him to stop short of finishing the word 'pretend,' just in case they were being watched. "To rely on being married… again?" The complaint was evident in his tone.
She smirked. "Would you rather it have been Mitchell?"
He matched her expression with a smirk of his own. "Me and Mitchell, or you and Mitchell?"
Vala rolled her eyes and huffed. Clearly she was rubbing off on him. But instead of basking in this triumph, she tilted her head at him in expectation. She could bask later. Daniel sighed loudly in acquiescence. "Fine. Three years."
"A little after the Ori defeat. That's it? You should have proposed to me much, much sooner than that."
"What."
"Just as soon as you whisked me away from Adria's ship, you were supposed to declare your undying love to me and tell me you had made a terrible mistake letting me go. And the thought of me being with Tomin was too much for you to bear." Vala brought her hand up to her forehead dramatically.
Daniel regarded her dubiously. "Are you done?"
Hand still to her forehead, she gave him a sideways glance. He stared at her, unamused. Vala grinned. She put her hand back down. "Now I am."
Daniel's eyes rolled far back in their sockets. He let his head rest back against the wall. "I wonder how long we have to wait here."
Vala tried testing her radio. Unsurprisingly, it only returned static. "Jammed."
"Of course it is," he replied with resignation.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Eventually it became too much for Vala to bear. "We could consummate our marriage," she suggested nonchalantly.
Daniel breathed in and sighed. "Nope. I have a thing against doing it on strange alien ships."
"Hmm," she replied, looking around at their sparse surroundings. "I don't blame you."
"Besides, they're probably watching us. Observing how we interact for further research. I'm not interested in becoming some alien's space porn."
Vala laughed aloud.
A/N: Stay tuned for more... Please feel free to drop a review. The promised cameos are coming!