I come back to the team a mess of emotions and shaking. Zaku looks at me uncomfortably and almost says something but he shakes his head and looks away. It takes sensei little time to bind Kiyotaka and to use his paralytic toxin on him. I consciously do not look at the corpse of poor Megumi.

"It always pays to be prepared, remember that. Now, if you're done crying and whining Kin we need to get going. I do believe we will be early to our mission but if we dally too long with your hysterics then we won't be able to complete this mission at all."

I straighten up some. I still feel sick and twisted inside, though. "Does it... really get better?"

Sensei doesn't even dignify me with a response but Zaku places a hand on my shoulder and speaks in a tone of understanding, "yeah. It does get better. You just need to make an effort each time to remember: it is your job."

Somehow that just makes me feel worse but I cool my features and turn away muttering a thanks before I could process what I was saying.

-xxx-

As we come back to the bound and helpless people I feel a sense of dread overtake me, yet again.

"Kin, it is your duty to make sure that if we have any runners that you stop them with a genjutsu. I expect us to be able to make it back in three days."

Sensei looks at the human cattle and speaks in a firm and loud voice, "if any of you try to escape your worst nightmares will plague you. You have been warned."

Dosu was charged with transporting Kiyotaka as the strongest of us which he readily agrees to holding the paralyzed man in a fireman's carry.

As we exit the forest I start to tear up again. But I hold back the welling of tears, if I show weakness here then I'll just feel more pain. It takes us till dawn for us to arrive at the mountain.

"Let's set up camp. Two hours of rest should be enough for us."

I want to ask about the homeless people if they will get enough rest but I have smartened up enough not to ask that kind of question by now. Perhaps their brief reprieve of this death march will help them-

I catch it out of the corner of my eye. One of the kids managed to undo her bindings and so I'm presented with a split second choice: obey and lose all sense of my previous world's morals or to defect and surely perish.

I choose to survive.

I cast my genjutsu with only the briefest hesitation but that moment of hesitation cost me nothing. The child crumples and whimpers which immediately causes sensei to jump into action and break the child's arms and rebind her. Barbaric, but at this point I just didn't care.

It's so hard to run when you're feeling like there's no escape.

"Dude nice!" Zaku ambles over and congratulates me on my sin.

"Don't mention it. Please."

Zaku just rolls his eyes in response and says, "no really, you did good there. How about when we get back I can cook us up a cake or something!" His smile seems less constipated than usual which makes me snort and drop my guard a little.

Sensei flickers a glance our way after he's done with his dark works. "I'll take the first watch, we'll rotate every thirty minutes with Dosu on second, Kin third, and Zaku last. No sleeping, just a rest will do for now."

Dosu assents and places his head on his pack after taking out a book to read.

"C'moooon... sleeping is fine right?"

Sensei growls out a "no" and refuses to speak further on the topic aside from a, "if you do I'll cut out your implants and heal over your wounds."

-xxx-

During the rest Dosu strikes up a conversation with me, apparently having finished his book. "Kin, I know you're not who you used to be anymore but tell me this: what does it mean for you to be a ninja?"

I look at him strangely and ask him, "why does that matter?"

He shrugs. "Call it curiosity. What does it mean to be a ninja?"

I consider the question. Suffering. Pain. Killing. ...Duty. "It means I swallow myself and do what needs to be done. For the mission. Even at a cost to myself." I flashback to the visceral memory of cutting that woman's throat. THat kind woman who showed us nothing but compassion.

Zaku responds to the question without prompting, "I think it has to do with finding someone greater than yourself and making their dream reality."

I am a bit surprised but... no not really. He is doggedly loyal to Orochimaru.

Dosu nods, "indeed. For me, however, my reasons are selfish. I just want to kill all those Leaf ninja." He pauses and looks over at me. "I never did tell you what the reason for that was, did I?"

I shake my head. I'm not feeling myself right now still grieving that poor woman who-

"I was supposed to be burned alive."

I twist my head to him in shock. "Burned. Alive?"

"Oh yes. Those Leaf ninja aren't as [word for smiles and rainbows] as they'd have you believe. They regularly did raids on the undesirables on the outskirts of Fire country. They wouldn't want to tarnish their squeaky clean image, especially on the main roads."

Dosu undoes some of the bandages on his head. I see patchy black hair and mutilated skin that is just painful to look at. "Dosu! That-"

"I know." He re-ties the bandages over his head. "But here I am. Not dead. All thanks to our beneficent Orochimaru-sama. If we could, I would go right now and smash those hypocritical smiles right off their faces. But he has told me there is a time and a place for all these things. He promised me I would get the opportunity in the upcoming chūnin exams."

-xxx-

We made it back to Sound in a record two and half days. For better or for worse none of the prisoners died on the way back. I help my teammates deposit the human cattle at the spaces reserved for the test subjects.

"Now, it is the end of our C-rank." Sensei smiles at us. "Adequate, if barely."

Zaku nods and cracks a smile, Dosu bows, and I shift uncomfortably under the faint praise.

-xxx-

Kusei is an important man to the Otokage, his dear Orochimaru-sama. His story is not uncommon among his peers having been saved by the man in his most desperate time. As he rounds the corner to the office with his newly acquired offering in tow he understands that pleasing his lord is the best course for him. Upon entering the building he feels a sense of calm and pride. The scent of the place is sandalwood and the environs are richly appointed. He knocks twice on the door before entering as a courtesy of course.

"Ah, dear Suzuki-kun, please come in. Oh? Who do you have there?"

Kusei bows slightly and deposits the insensate man in front of his superior's desk, which prompts Orochimaru to stand up and examine the man. He calls forth chakra to his hands and senses what he can with his meager sensing abilities.

"I see he has a fully developed adult chakra network... and he's an earth affinity. Please tell me this is something special."

"Oh he is, Orochimaru-sama. He is Yamashita Kiyotaka, one of the very last seismic sensors in the entire world."

This news causes the normally unimpressed Orochimaru's eyes to widen in surprise. He then begins to shake with excitement. "A... seismic sensor."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama. Our team captured him after completing our mission and cleaning up their mess."

"You'll need to go into more detail about that mission debriefing, later."

"Of course." Kusei nods his head in assent and he poses a question, "do you wish to wake him now? I can apply the antidote or just give it to you."

"Not necessary, I need to ensure he's well away from his elemental affinity for me to properly mold him." Orochimaru stands up and sits back down at his desk.

"Do you know why seismic sensing is so rare even among the most upper echelons of ninja? Don't answer. I know you do not know. It has to do with how the pubescent chakra network develops with an earth affinity. Only one in a million, Suzuki-kun. That is what sort of gift you've given me and you deserve a reward."

"I wish to leave my post as a sensei."

"Anything but that, you know you're the only one with the general knowledge to raise up those ninja."

Kusei grits his teeth but he understands, who else to teach the newly minted "sound trio"? Certainly not any of the riffraff and the sound four are all unstable wretches whose only redeeming quality is their complete and total loyalty to their lord.

"I will need to think about it..."

"Yes, do think about it. Ah this reminds me, I need you to bring me our dear 'Kin' to lab number 3 tomorrow."

"May I ask a question, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Of course, you need not worry as well. I shall still reward you."

"Thank you. I want to know, was there a purpose to the soul attachments? That person seems to be utterly unstable and unfit to be a ninja. I do not mean to question you, but I just do not understand."

"No, no, it is fine Suzuki-kun. I myself have been questioning whether or not to terminate this experiment. But I can't seem to bring myself to, through my curiosity." Orochimaru takes a pen and starts to fill out some paper with a drawing. "A soul houses everything that makes a person unique. I myself am already rather adept at changing bodies via my curse mark but that mark seems to be.. Incomplete somehow. I find that with each different body I lose something of myself along the way, or I gain something new."

"It is rather vexing you see, Suzuki-kun." He presents him with the drawing, "each time a soul changes its vessel it must change to fit the host. I wanted to see if a soul could truly become dominant over another and I'm still unsure if that person is fully dominant there."

"I see, so then you're seeing if there's a way for more fidelity between each transfer."

"Precisely! I need to know if this current avenue I have for immortality is a fool's errand."

"If there is anything I can do to assist Orochimaru-sama, I will do it."

"Yes there is one thing, nothing."

Kusei steps back at this proclamation and is taken aback, "are you meaning to say I'm failing you?"

"No, not at all. You are doing splendidly. I want to see if this can develop organically. Being able to do this on one's own is paramount to my plan being a success."

"...I see."

"Yes, oh and one more thing: I need you to bring our 'Kin' to lab number three."

"Yes, lord, may I ask why?"

"You may, it has to do with those... guns... that person was referring to in your notes. I want to begin test trials before the invasion but I need more information than 'it would break the sound barrier with small projectiles'. There isn't a rush, just please direct 'Kin' to come after your team training."

"Of course." Understanding that he ought to leave, Kusei bows and departs.

-xxx-

A/N: Guess who's back! One serious mental health crisis after another but I'm still kicking! Hopefully I can update this story with some regularity but I make no promises on a schedule. Hopefully the characters stayed the same in my head between this long hiatus.