Okay... So this one was unplanned and I wrote it in about an hour. I was trying to sleep one night and I kept having a line repeating in my head. It kept me awake and I started to write a story out of it. It's kind of dark, but I hope you enjoy it!
In A Time of Darkness
Summary: The light is more powerful than the dark. But even heroes can fall to darkness.
TW: depression, mentions of suicidal thoughts, references to being suicidal, mentions of torture
"How dark is the darkness?" He asked and she remained silent, tears streaming down her face. "Don't you think it's time to come into the light?"
The Telmarines tossed Ana into the cell and she fell hard, arms too weak to catch herself. One roughly grabbed her to attach her chains to the bolt on the floor. She cried out at the mistreatment. He laughed and kicked her side for good measure as he walked passed. She whimpered and curled in on herself, trying to ignore the agony such a motion caused. The cell door slammed shut behind her, but Ana didn't turn towards it. She focused on the dirty wall before her. She had nothing left to focus on.
It had been about two weeks since the Telmarines had arrested her. But she had spent a week in torture and torment. A week of hearing their jeers and seeing their lusty glances. Every time one of them reached to touch her, she shivered. Not in fear of what they might do to her, but in disgust as she knew what they wanted to do to her. Ana was only glad that they hadn't been able to act on them. Not yet at least.
Her back was so bloody and torn it hurt to move. Several of her ribs were cracked, if not broken, so breathing hurt. She had burns all over her arms and legs, but she knew those would heal better than the others. Phoenix would take care of those. The others... without proper treatment would eventually kill her. And even if they were treated, they would leave scars.
Today's session ended with them dislocating her shoulder and then tossing her to the ground, mere feet from the roaring fire. She could feel the heat from it and wouldn't have been surprised to find her face was also burnt. There was hardly a place left untouched on her body. Her clothes were mere rags at this point and she thanked Aslan they hadn't stripped her for the whipping. But that was all she could thank him for.
"Why are you doing this to me?!" she cried into the darkness. "What am I being punished for?" As like every other night, she received no reply. "What have I done to deserve this? I've done my best to serve you and I saved as many lives as I could. Is this punishment for the death of the others? Answer me!" she screamed.
Ana cried herself to sleep, just as she had done the past few nights. Her questions remained unanswered. She grew angrier and more bitter the longer He stayed silent.
After two more weeks of torment, Ana realized they had stopped asking questions. They no longer cared about where they could find the Narnians or anything the King had wanted to know regarding them. Now, they were torturing her for the fun of it. Then, when they returned her to her cell, pointlessly securing herโshe didn't have the strength to walk. It was just for added humiliation, for having magicโsomething happened that no one could have predicted. That night, as she cried herself to sleep listening for answers that never came, Ana begged Him to take her life. Begged Him to put a stop to this pain.
When she awoke the next morning and found herself being dragged from the cell for another session, Ana screamed in anger. She was angry at the Telmarines, at herself, at the Pevensies for leaving, but most importantly at Aslan for leaving her in this torment. He never answered and her fight finally left her. Something in her died right then.
Normally, Ana weakly struggled and tried her hardest not to give them the satisfaction of hearing her scream. But that day, she didn't care anymore. Ana might've screamed, but she no longer heard them or felt the pain they inflicted so it was likely she did not. She didn't even realize her lack of response made them return her to her cell early. Ana didn't notice that her body didn't hurt anymore. She felt nothing, saw nothing. Nothing but darkness and the cold.
She heard the cell open but paid it no mind. There were voices, but she didn't hear them, eyes focused on the wall in front of her. Ana felt a hand on her head, but she didn't move or even wonder why they cared. Hands roamed her body, cataloging her injuries, but Ana didn't react. There was nothing left for her anymore. The warrior had lost the last of her faith and any remaining hope went with it.
A figure came into view. It was neither her captor nor her tormentors. They said something, but Ana merely blinked in response. She didn't care what they said. If Aslan didn't take her, she would make sure they did. Once they realized she was no longer of any use, they would kill her and toss her aside. She would finally have peace. Finally, be free. As the face faded from view, she dreamed of a time with no more pain.
~ ๐ฟ๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐น๐๐๐๐๐ ~
"You need to eat," a voice broke through her trace. She stared unblinking at the wall. "Please," they begged, "I've treated your injuries but it does little good without food. The King ordered that you are to have the best treatment possible. He didn't realize what the men were doing, that they had continued the questioning without permission. He only ordered the first week but stopped when you would not break. They continued without permission. Broke over a dozen bones, whipped you more than the average man should withstand, beat you within inches of your life." Ana still didn't respond. It didn't matter that the King didn't order all of her torment. All that mattered was that it wasn't enough to take her life.
"I know it doesn't make much difference to you," the voice continued. "But I'm truly sorry for what they did to you. Your magic scares them andโno. There's no excuse for their actions. Beating someone to death, torturing them beyond recognition. But that's all stopped now. The King has placed new guards on the door. If you would just eat, you could get better." They were quiet and when Ana still didn't move or respond, she heard them sigh. Feet shuffled away and she knew she would finally have peace.
"I can't force her to eat," the same voice whispered and Ana cursed her good hearing. "Not enough for it to do any good. She's not only broken but there's nothing left. She won't fight and is content to just let herself wither away."
"It's been nearly a month," said an unfamiliar voice. "How is she still alive?"
"My guess... Somethingโor someoneโrefuses to let her go. Her fever finally broke and her burns have healed completely, but that's likely due to her magic rather than my own work. But the rest... she'll carry those scars the rest of her life. If she survives much longer."
The footsteps departed and Ana let her eyes close. She could feel herself getting weaker and even Phoenix seemed far away. It would rear up now and again, trying to fight on her behalf, but it couldn't provide enough sustenance for herโit ended up using most of it. Ana didn't even have the strength left to fight Phoenix and found herself in the phoenix form nearly every morning. She wondered, bitterly, why it hadn't escaped its prison, why it couldn't set her free.
Two months passed of Ana barely eating, of Phoenix keeping her alive. But she was weaker. She couldn't move even if she wanted to. Every day the physician would visitโfor she finally figured out that's who the strange person wasโand try to convince her to eat. He tried forcing her a few times, but she would rather choke than swallow the food. The torment stopped, the voices stopped, and Phoenix was quiet. Everyone was quiet. She just wanted to die and she cursed whatever refused to let that happen.
When the physician was gone this time, there was another presence. She didn't turn. She hated Him. Despised what He had let happen to her. Nevertheless, something about His presence forced her to cry. The only emotion she had shown in months.
"Ana," the voice purred. "Dear child, what has happened to you?"
"Why did you leave me?" she croaked out, voice rough from disuse.
"I never left you," He said. "You pushed me away, turned your back on me. I do not force myself on those who do not want me and you did not."
"Why would you let this happen to me? Why did I deserve this?" she was still angry and wished He would leave. Still, after all this time a part of her wanted Him to stay.
"I'm making you stronger. A diamond can only be formed under intense heat and pressure. My dear Ana, I want you to be the strongest diamond there is so nothing will break you. I want my light to shine so brightly through you that others will see you and know it was me. I could've helped you through this, but you decided to do it on your own."
"You ignored my pleas," Ana spat. "I begged you to make them stop. There had to be a better way. This... It's a fate worse than death."
"I gave you the strength to rise, to fight back. You were so caught up in your misery that you never noticed when I relieved your pain when I sealed your wounds and stopped the bleeding.
"I can't let you out of this cell because it's the only thing keeping you alive. That's why you ended up here in the first place. You lost everything, more than before. You lost your friends and your family, and you struggled to keep Narnia alive for them. But in the end, you lost that too. If I had not let the Telmarines capture you, you would've tried to end your life many times.
"I know your heart, I knew what you planned the moment you knew that Narnia was lost. Taking your own life is murder, Ana. Self-murder. You are my creation, my child and to do such an act is..." the Lion paused, as if the words weighed heavily on him. "To save you, this had to happen. You turned away from me before you were placed in this cell. You lost hope and ignored those I sent to speak my words. Your suffering is of your own making. I wish you had come to me, leaned on me. For I am strong when you are weak."
"How dark is the darkness?" He asked and she remained silent, tears streaming down her face. "Don't you think it's time to come into the light?"
"Please, Aslan," she cried. "Please take this from me."
"All you ever had to do was ask," Aslan purred. "Give all your burdens, your pain, and heartbreak to me. I'm strong enough to handle it."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Ana wept, turning to finally face Him. "I'm so ashamed. I need you. Please..."
"All is forgiven, child," He assured her. "Now it's time to be my light. To show the world that I can take the most broken things and turn them into a masterpiece." Ana nodded, feeling too weak to do much else. "I've kept you alive thus far, but it's time for you to do your part. Your duty is not done, and one day you will have a prince to protect. He will need your protection. In the meantime, you won't be alone. I am always with you but I'll send you some people to help you through this while you wait."
"Aslan," she pleaded, unable to say the words. He knew though and smiled.
Then she watched Him disappear. Once He was gone, she found the strength to finally eat. She had gone without substantial food for several months and found it hard to keep anything down. But Aslan willing, she would recover much to the physician's relief.
And thus began her first friendship with a Telmarine.
THE END