Last time on; With a side of Oden:

"That's it! I'm using my ultimate technique!" Kuro screamed, hunching forward. "The pussyfoot maneuver!"

He blinked out of existence for a second, and then back into it as Luffy's fist caught his face.

The crowd around him looked on as Kuro slowly slid down and crumpled to the ground.

"So, Yamato, was that the pussy you said you'd show?" Luffy asked, not missing a beat.

Nami's face went up in flames. "You'll what!?"

"Oh, you wanna see too?" Luffy asked his navigator with a wide smile. "I didn't know you liked pussies Nami!"

Zoro continued fighting for his life in the corner, trying to catch his breath.

000

"So let me get this straight." Merry hummed, warily looking between the unconscious form of Klahandore embedded into the garden and the giant woman and her crew, plus Usopp. "Klahandore attacked you; he told you that he was 'Kuro of a thousand plans' and got beaten?"

"For the third time, yes." Nami huffed, rubbing her forehead. "He had this whole instigator bullshit about Usopp's tragic past too."

"Oh, right. My condolences again, young man," Merry hummed with a bow.

Usopp flushed and rubbed under his nose with the back of his wrist. "I- um thank you, haha…"

Luffy poked Kuro with a stick again. Yamato crouched near him, watching him poke at the man's messed-up face.

"C-could you stop that, straw-hat?" Merry asked, sweating a little. "I still don't know what I feel about any of this."

"Well, if he was a captain…" Luffy hummed, shoving the stick up Kuro's nose. "Where is his crew?"

Everyone turned to face him.

"Oh… fuck Luffy made sense," Nami groaned, looking up to the skies, trying to ensure the sky wasn't falling down.

That was the moment when someone moonwalked into the conversation. Django turned on his heel, grabbed his crotch, and let out a shrill 'He-He.'

All eyes locked onto the man, who spun again and leaned forward at an impossible angle, gazing down at Kuro's body. "Captain, are you okay? So, Kuro, are you okay? Are you okay, Kuro~?"

"I-is he singing?" Usopp muttered, taking a few steps back and priming his slingshot.

Luffy laughed, clapping his hands. "Oh I like him! Be my musician, heart-glasses guy!"

Django spun on his heels again, faced the gathered crowd, and hip-thrusted. "OW! I am not a musician; I'm a hypnotist! You know, I'm bad!"

Nami turned to look at Yamato to see if she seemed to recognize the man. The giant woman clearly didn't as she tilted her head, looking down at the man. She walked forward and wrapped her arm around Luffy's head, pulling him closer to her. "I don't think he's a good guy, Luffy."

"Eh? But he seems so funky!" Luffy argued, leaning closer to her, his cheek pressing against hers.

Yamato, not wanting to be left out, pressed against Nami's other side, causing the woman to start blushing wildly. With a roar, she pummeled both, leaving them on the ground with many steaming welts.

Zoro looked on with terror as Nami faced him, her eyes glowing red and teeth sharpened into razor sharp daggers. "H-how?"

Usopp had dropped his slingshot and was making a cross with his fingers, trying to ward off satan.

"This is the end of the liiine!~" Django sang, spinning on his heel again and tossing a chakram towards the raging Nami, who turned her back to him.

"Nami, look out!" Usopp screamed, trying to get back to his slingshot in time, but it was simply too far away.

Luffy's arm shot out in time, hand passing through the chakrams hole and catching it mid-flight.

Nami gasped and fell on her butt as she turned to face the blade that had almost caught her on her spine.

Luffy stood up, growling and flexing his arms, the chakram that had slid down to his bicep shattered from the pressure of his muscles bunching together. He hissed out what looked like steam as he faced Django. "No one hurts my Nami!"

"Yo-your!?" Nami eeped, blushing again.

"M-maybe I should talk to the man in the mi-" Django didn't get to finish his lyric as a rubber fist caught him on the jaw, sending him flying into a tree.

Merry blinked at the sight, gently 'baa-ing' as he tried to comprehend what had just happened. "W-what was that?"

"One of Kuro's crew?" Usopp offered dumbly. "...where is the rest then?"

Yamato scratched her hair. "Um… I do feel a ship a little ways away?"

Usopp ignored Zoro getting punched when he teased Nami's reaction to Luffy's claim, who was busy poking the new body on the premises with another stick. "Ar- are you- how?"

"Haki." Yamato nodded with a smirk. "You taught me long-range actually…"

"Of course I did!" Usopp huffed with pride, pumping his chest out. A beat passed. "Wait… what?"

"Oh yeah, I'm from the future," Yamato added with a bored huff.

Usopp nodded and decided to offer some lessons on lying better after things calmed down.

"Luffy! Let's go take down their galleon!" Yamato cheered, rushing out to grab the man.

"We gonna set sail?" Luffy asked, turning to face Nami, who stopped kicking Zoro and turned away from the man with a massive blush.

"I- we can provide a ship for that!" Merry offered with a tense smile. "It would be our honor!"

Nami flinched, excited about not having to pay for a bigger boat. "Could we keep it in return for these two bounties?"

Merry smiled with sweat running down his forehead.

The Going Merry bobbed up and down on the shore before she was boarded suddenly by a massive woman hopping into her from the cliffside with a laugh. The deck groaned in protest and she almost capsized as the momentum pushed her down the water line, but a foreign power spread around her unprepared hull, fortifying all.

"Haha! So this is Merry!" Yamato cheered, Luffy jumping off her back and running around the deck like an excited animal. Nami squirmed from under Yamato's arm and was granted freedom as Yamato slowly dropped her down. Zoro was let go, and he landed on deck with a heavy snort as he woke up from his nap.

"No, that's the butler's name." Nami huffed, one hand over her chest. She still wasn't used to getting manhandled by the massive woman, but it was still faster than walking.

"I love it!" Luffy announced, sitting on the ship's figurehead with a massive grin.

Why is that idiot cute now?! Nami grumbled internally, her cheeks warm once again. She was still shocked that his outburst had gotten so deep under her skin.

"You ok witch?" Zoro asked with a smug smirk again. Nami hissed at him like a cat, causing Yamato burst out into laughter.

The Merry bobbed up and down, suddenly so much livelier.

"Um, yes." Merry hummed as he climbed the rope ladder up to the ship. "This is the Going Merry. She was built to let Miss Kaya see some sights, but her health was never good enough to sail on her."

"And now she'll be guarding Kaya instead!" Usopp announced, his full liar bravado, from the shore.

Luffy blinked, shot his arm out and hooked it around Usopp's waist a couple of times.

Usopp gasped and looked down on the limb, snot starting to run down his nose. "W-wait isn't that going to be too fa-"

His scream was cut off when his head hit the mast.

Nami tapped her chin. "Whats stopping us from just… leaving with the ship?"

All eyes turned to her.

"We picked up all our supplies from the buggy ship we stole." Nami explained, a little worried. "And you're pirates, you don't need to follow agreements."

"...you're a pirate too, though?" Luffy asked with a tilt of his head.

"Am not!" Nami exploded. "I'll never be a pirate, I hate pirates!"

Usopp blinked. "Then why are you dating Luffy?"

Zoro burst out into laughter.

"I'm not!" Nami screamed back, face as red as a tomato.

"Yeah, she's his wife!" Yamato affirmed with a nod and smile.

Nami gasped, taking a few steps back to lean on the railing. "No, we're not married!"

"Aw, we aren't?" Luffy hummed with a tilt of his head. "Then why is your fist of love working on me?"

"Fist of WHAT!?"

"Ah, I think it's their ship right there!" Yamato announced, exiting out of the conversation. "Usopp! Wanna go shoot it down with the cannon in the front?"

"I'm not done with this conversation Yamato!" Nami screamed, grabbing the woman by her white kimono. "What do you mean I got married to that idiot!?"

Yamato shrugged. "I'm more surprised Luffy got married to you."

"What the hell does that mean, you overgrown spring onion!?" Nami screamed back, shaking the much larger woman.

"Ah, they're firing at us," Luffy announced.

Nami screamed harder.

Nami was sitting on the deck after the fight, her knees hugged against her chest. She was in a crew of monsters; Luffy Zoro and Yamato had proven that, but even Usopp had shown his mettle in the fight.

It turns out the man could snipe more accurately than normal guns using a slingshot, of all things. Most of the black cat pirates were taken out even before Luffy or Yamato could jump across and start to battle.

Then again, Yamato was probably doing less than she could. Nami wondered if she was holding back to let them grow stronger.

She looked at the woman hugging Luffy on the figurehead, the massive knot tied around her back hooked around the horns of the Merry.

…did he really save my village…? Nami questioned, unable to see Arlong get defeated, even by Yamato. She'd seen too many false hopes over such a long time that she became unable to see past them. …Maybe he just helped me get enough money to pay Arlong off…

Nami's hand went to her shoulder, the tattoo burning her skin, the damn sharks laugh filling her ears.

"Nami."

She suddenly perked up, seeing that Luffy was looking down at her, worry visible in his eyes. "Is everything ok?"

She only looked away with a huff. "Yes."

"Liar," he hummed, crouching to look her in the eyes.

"Luffy, you couldn't see past a lie if it poked you in the eye," she huffed, glaring at the man.

"Yeah, but a husband can see when his wife lies," Luffy hummed with a sage nod.

Nami looked at him incredulously, flustered again. "We're not married."

Luffy smirked. "Yet."

Nami couldn't help but smile back. "Didn't take you for a 'fate is forged' kinda guy."

Luffy shrugged, sitting next to her quietly.

Nami hummed, leaning on her knees and looking around. Yamato had turned back to watch the sea; Usopp was in the crow's nest, screaming that every cloud was another enemy, and Zoro was snoring away. They still had some time before they got back to Syrup Village and delivered the flag of the pirates they defeated.

"...Hey Luffy. If I said I had a village I wanted to save, would you help me?" Nami asked quietly.

"Of course." Luffy breathed without a thought.

Nami smiled against her knees.