What If: Eric and Donna Became Friends With Benefits?

Chapter 9: Heartbreak At The Le Motel

Disclaimer: All rights to That '70s Show and its characters belong to The Carsey-Werner company. I am only a fan.

A/N: The penultimate chapter is here! If you are sensitive to content about aggressive sexual behavior, please be advised there is some in the final scene. Read at your discretion.

Saturday morning, Kelso came down the basement steps grinning. The whole gang was there, except Donna. Word from Jackie was that she'd been grounded this past week, for breaking her curfew.

Eric didn't want to think about what that meant. Who she was with. Because it wasn't any of them.

"Oh, man. I have big news," Kelso declared, as he crossed to the deep-freeze and casually pulled out a grape popsicle at 10:37 am. "You guys are never gonna believe it."

"What?" As usual, Fez was the only one on the edge of his seat.

"Oh, no one guess. It's always about boobs," Jackie interjected, bitterly. Things between her and Kelso did not seem to have ended amicably. They'd been exchanging thinly veiled barbs every time they were around each other.

"Uh!" Kelso exclaimed, loudly and girlishly. His expression changed as he plopped onto the couch next to her and Eric. "You know, I never noticed it when we were together but you're pretty mean," he accused, lapping sloppily at his popsicle.

"And I never said anything when we were together, but you're pretty dumb," she shot back, haughtily. Hyde chuckled and held his hand out for a high-five. Eric gave them both a suspicious look. They were awfully friendly, weren't they?

"Uh!" Kelso exclaimed again. But his outrage seemed to be directed at Hyde, not Jackie. He'd seen the high-five, too. But before he could get another word out, Hyde interrupted him.

"Moron. You said you had news?"

Kelso was quickly distracted, and his goofy grin reappeared. "Oh, right." He bit off a chunk of his popsicle and chewed it, wincing when it probably sent waves of pain radiating through his teeth. "Okay, well," he continued after a moment. "You know how my brother locks me in the closet with a pillowcase-full of dead fish, until the stink makes me cry?" The gang all looked at him blankly but Kelso continued, unphased. "Well, while I was in there I heard him make a phone call. And it seems he has a little surprise for Donna tonight - the honeymoon suite at that French motel in Kenosha."

Jackie gasped, and put a hand to her chest. "The Le Motel?"

"That's the one." Kelso snapped his fingers, and deepthroated his popsicle.

"Oh no," Fez said in a hushed voice. "It sounds like Casey and Donna are going to Le-Do It."

They all glanced at him - Eric could feel everyone's eyes, waiting for him to react. But he felt frozen - and somehow too hot at the same time. Was he sweating? "Um - " he mumbled, struggling to arrange his expression into one of casual disinterest, even as his heart beat hammered loudly in his ears.

"My dad said it's really expensive," Jackie was nodding her approval. "Oh, how romantic."

"Yeah, and there will probably be a vibrating heart-shaped bed," Fez looked excited. "Oh, and a mirror. You know, so they can watch each - "

"Yeah, we got it, Fez," Hyde interrupted. Unlike the others, he was watching Eric wearily. "Forman? You okay?" he checked.

"Um - I - uh - " The room was suddenly spinning, like he'd had a lot to drink or was going to be sick. Eric couldn't put together a response to Hyde's question. Words kept shooting through his mind, reverberating, getting louder and louder. French motel… honeymoon suite… romantic… Casey and Donna… CASEY AND DONNA! Then the sounds began to turn into graphic, flashing images. Distressed, Eric shook his head back and forth as if to clear it all away.

It didn't work.

Kelso and Fez continued to eagerly discuss the prospect of getting Donna in bed. Hyde leaned over and frogged Kelso.

"You broke Forman, man," he gestured at Eric and scowled. "Why the hell did you have to tell him?"

"It's funny to watch him freak out," Kelso grinned. Fez nodded, agreeing. Only Jackie seemed to pause, biting her lip.

Hyde pounded Kelso again in the same spot on his bicep, harder this time. Kelso winced and yelped in pain. "Ow! Damn, Hyde. We're just joking around."

"It's not a joke to him," Hyde said gruffly. "Knock it off."

"Wow. That's very considerate of Eric's feelings," Kelso said. Then he scowled. "What the hell, man?"

"I just think we all need to zip it. Especially you," Hyde pointed a menacing finger at Kelso, and then swung it around to Fez. They each continued to smirk, but finally stopped talking about Donna. Hyde turned in Eric's direction. "Forman? Circle?" he offered, nodding to the cigar box that held his stash.

It was much earlier in the day than they'd usually start smoking, but his best friend seemed to sense that Eric needed a distraction right now. He smiled at him gratefully.

A few minutes later the guys sat in their signature circle formation, passing a fat joint back and forth.

Hyde gave Eric the first hit, and his lungs burned as he held the smoke for several seconds. The usual euphoria, the lightness he felt when he was high didn't come, though. Another graphic, unwelcome image of a vulnerable, supine Donna beneath a bare and leering Casey Kelso flitted through his mind, causing him to yell out. It worked - the image left his mind. But now his friends all stared at him strangely.

"Pass it back to him," Hyde gestured at Kelso, who'd just finished his hit. "He needs to get so wasted he forgets Donna's name. We got any beer?" he glanced behind him at the shower, where they usually stashed alcohol if they had it.

Eric accepted the joint again, but he shook his head. Forget Donna? He wished, but it was impossible. She'd been there for practically his whole life. Every memory he had that mattered to him, in some way, included her. She'd been able to move on - clearly. But Eric knew he never would. It sent a foreboding feeling echoing through his numb body.

"You guys - you don't understand," he sputtered around a cough, finally passing the joint to Fez after taking several deep pulls. He was starting to feel fuzzy now - but still not any better. "Donna's not gonna like this kind of surprise. I - I have to rescue her." An involved fantasy, where Eric kicked down the door to Casey's motel room authoritatively and Donna leapt gratefully into his arms played through Eric's mind. "Like Luke Skywalker."

Hyde was shaking his head, though. "Forman, you gotta be cool about this, or she's gonna know you're jealous, man." He accepted the joint next and took two short pulls before handing it to Eric once again (skipping Kelso). "You can't be all Simon and Garfunkel-y. You gotta be Bruce Springsteen-y. Springsteenian. Springsteenicious." Hyde grinned at the word he made up, but then frowned and glanced around at them. "Wait. What are we talkin' about?"

Eric couldn't forget, though. He couldn't forget that tonight the love of his life would be in a motel room with a jackhole - someone who didn't care for her and would surely hurt her. Maybe even worse than he had.

"Whoa," Eric put his hands up, clarifying. "I am not jealous, you guys. I just think that if Donna and I aren't together, then the fairest thing for everyone is if she's alone. And unhappy." He shrugged.

Kelso snapped his fingers in agreement, and plucked the joint from Eric. "Yup. Jackie, too." He chuckled, proudly. "Didja see her earlier? Poor kid can't keep her eyes off the gun show," he flexed his not-impressive biceps.

Fez - who would usually be fawning over Kelso's display - frowned. "Actually, Jackie kind of seems better than ever. Did you notice her pink shimmer lip gloss?" The guys all stared at him blankly, and Fez frowned again. "What more does she have to do - write it on a neon sign?" Now he looked thoughtful. "Maybe she has a new man."

"Uh!" Kelso whined. "If Jackie has a new man then she's a w- "

"Alright, knock it off," Hyde interrupted, noticeably irritated. He nodded at Eric. "We're getting off track. Forman." Eric's head jerked up and he met Hyde's eyes when he said his name. "Under no circumstances are you to do something stupid tonight."

"Aw, c'mon man. You gotta do something stupid," Kelso continued to whine.

"I agree. More fun to watch," Fez nodded.

"Forman?" Hyde held his gaze until Eric sighed, and his shoulders slumped with defeat. He knew his best friend had his best interests in mind.

"Alright, alright. But I'm gonna need a lot more of this," he gestured to the quickly-burning joint.

"That can be arranged, my friend."

"So." Jackie applied some blush liberally to Donna's cheeks, and blended it in expertly. "Are you ready for your big surprise?"

Donna was sure her nerves were written across her face. "I don't know. Jackie, what is this big surprise?"

"All I can say is definitely, definitely shave those legs."

Donna's heart started to beat faster. With anticipation or trepidation, she wasn't sure.

She and Casey had already rounded several bases, and honestly? It had been a lot of fun. She hadn't been intimate in this way with anyone besides Eric before and she'd been afraid it would feel weird, that she wouldn't be in the moment with Casey, but he was so talented and experienced that she always lost herself to his expert touches. They hadn't talked about it - they never talked about things, really - but Donna had suspected this was coming for a while. The next step. The final step, in cementing them as a serious couple. Sex.

Jackie must've noticed the deep, shaky breath Donna took.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked. "Because, you know, if you're not - "

"No, no," Donna cut her off quickly. "I'm ready," she assured her. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Jackie didn't say anything, but she gave her a look Donna wasn't sure how to read.

"He - he said he loves me, Jackie," Donna told her quietly, ducking her head. He wouldn't say that unless he meant it - right? Guys didn't just say that. Especially not guys with reputations like Casey Kelso.

"And do you love him back?"

Donna paused, so long it was awkward. She fiddled with the tube of lipstick she held. "I don't know," she confessed, softly.

She liked making out with him a lot - she knew that. She liked the way he looked at her, the way he called her "Pinciotti", the compliments he gave her. He'd tell her that she was so much more mature than other girls her age, and Donna would glow with his praise. Was that love? Maybe not yet. But it could be. And it never would, unless she fully let him in.

"Or do you still love Eric?"

Now Donna's eyes shot to Jackie's, defensive. Hard. "What?" Her tone was testy, to match. "Where is this coming from?"

Jackie scoffed, and set down her brush. "Oh, please Donna," she began. "Anyone with eyes can tell that you two are still in love with each other." She gestured at the window, at the Forman's house next door. "Do you know that he's over there moping about this right now?"

Donna narrowed her eyes. "The only thing he cares about is sex, Jackie," she said darkly. "Believe me."

Jackie narrowed her eyes back. "I thought you stopped having sex with him."

"I did!" Donna exclaimed, defensively.

"And he's still been there for you," Jackie pointed out. Her voice softened, uncharacteristically. "He still cares about you, Donna. Didn't he tell you Casey's bad for you?"

"Yeah. Because he's jealous," Donna continued to frown.

"Maybe," Jackie shrugged. "I mean. That was the point. Wasn't it?" Donna was quiet, so she continued. "Either way, it's clear that he still has feelings for you. Guys who are only interested in sex don't act like that. Believe me."

Donna detected the stab of pain in Jackie's voice, but she was too hung up in her own dilemma to follow up on it.

"Yeah, well. It's too late for that. It's too late for… a lot of things," she finished, somewhat sadly, as she thought about her and Eric's relationship. It had been great - until it wasn't. That's what killed her.

"Not yet," Jackie insisted. She shook her head. "But if you do this, it might be."

Donna sighed. "So now you're saying I shouldn't do it?" She gripped Jackie by the shoulders and shook her a bit. "Where's my friend?" Donna mocked. "'The only way to get over someone is by getting under someone new, Donna,'" she said her own name with the emphasis Jackie would use. "'Hair, body and car are the holy trinity of love, Donna.'"

But instead of fighting back, like she usually did, Jackie just shrugged. In a way that - strangely - reminded Donna of Hyde.

"Wow," Donna blinked. "This break-up with Kelso has actually changed you."

Jackie side-stepped yet another opportunity to be snarky in her response. "Look, getting over your first love is hard. Michael and I - " she hesitated for a moment, and then slowly shook her head. "We're over. But you and Eric still have a chance. If you don't ruin it."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Jackie," Donna rolled her eyes.

"Donna, I'm serious," Jackie's voice strained in a way that made Donna take pause. When she met her best friend's eyes, they were almost pleading. "Sometimes you can't get over your first love because you're not supposed to."

Some complicated emotions began to swell in Donna's chest, but she cleared her throat, sending them scattering. Tonight wasn't about the past - it was about the future. Her future. The one Eric could've been a part of, if he didn't blow it.

"Thanks for doing my make-up, Jackie," Donna said, as sweetly as she could muster. She nodded towards the window. "You'll have to sneak out the window. Sorry."

She was still grounded, from her blow-up at Bob and Joanne last week and subsequent excursion to the water tower. She'd come home hours later in the dead of night, soaking wet, to a frantic Bob and Joanne. They'd officially grounded her from now until forever. Not that that was going to stop Donna from living her life.

"Alright." Jackie stood up and tugged her sweater tighter around herself, as if anticipating the colder temperatures outside. "Message received. I just want to go on the record saying that you love Eric and you have no business - "

"Goodnight, Jackie."

"Alright," she sighed again, resigned this time as she headed towards the window. "Tell me everything tomorrow?"

"You know I will."

As she watched her leave, Donna found herself gazing across the way. Directly at Eric's window. She quickly and unwillingly became lost in a memory.

A night just like this one. Her parents' recommitment ceremony - happier times. Back when she still thought they were all going to make it. Shoving Eric across the driveway, up the stairs, to his bedroom. Kissing him - everywhere. Their whispered declarations of love, as they tangled on the bed together. The way he kissed her - so loving and tender it almost made her cry. That moment - the moment - when they'd joined together for the first time. Even though it had been brief, and confusing, even just the mere memory sent tendrils of adrenaline coursing through her bloodstream.

She took a deep, steadying breath and looked away from Eric's bedroom window. She blinked, and tried to conjure the same overwhelming feelings, the same sentiment about her evening with Casey tonight. But as much as she tried… she couldn't.

Later that evening, Eric and Hyde sat alone in the basement. They'd secured some beer, but Eric set his can on the coffee table and barely touched it. A re-run of some sitcom played in the background, but neither of them was really watching it.

"I just - I can't believe she's in a motel room with him right now," Eric lamented, for probably the fifth time that hour. He felt bad - he felt as pathetic as Kelso - but he didn't know what else to do. No matter how he tried to numb or distract himself, the image of Donna giving herself to someone else - to Casey freakin' Kelso - wouldn't leave his mind. It played on a loop through his mind, worse than a horror movie. And no amount of beer or pot could make it go away.

"Do you need another Circle?" Hyde asked, already reaching for his stash.

But Eric slashed his hand through the air, forcefully. "No," he insisted. He had to feel this pain sober. To feel the full weight of what he'd done, what he'd lost. If he could only just go back in time…

"You sure, man?" Hyde checked. "Cause it always seems to do the trick for me. Forget about a parking ticket. Forget about a girl. Forget about your ma aband- "

"Yeah, well, it doesn't work for the love of your life," Eric's voice swelled emotionally, before he could really think about what he was saying.

Hyde went quiet. There were no words between them for several moments.

Finally, Hyde cleared his throat. "You really feel that way, man?"

Eric glanced at him, quickly gauging his sincerity. Was he about to burn him?

But no. Hyde had slipped his sunglasses off, uncharacteristically, and he leaned forward in his chair. His steel blue eyes peered compassionately into his.

"Yeah," Eric practically whispered. "I do." He cleared his throat, hoping to push down his emotions at the same time. No such luck. "Turns out I still have feelings for Donna," he said, his tone heavy with self-criticism. "Deep feelings. Warm feelings." He hesitated. "Tingly-In-The-Pants feelings." He cleared his throat again. "But I can't do anything about it because she has those feelings for someone else."

Hyde grunted, but didn't say anything else.

"What?" Eric probed. He wiped at his eyes in a way he hoped wasn't suspicious.

Hyde sighed, and seemed to really be weighing what he wanted to say.

"Say you had another shot with her. Would you do anything differently?"

"I'd do everything differently," Eric said, morosely.

Hyde didn't say anything. He was quiet, zen, unassuming. As always.

"I screwed it all up," Eric moped, dejectedly. "Everything always had to be my way. That's why we broke up in the first place," he said quietly, with an air of realization.

"Uh huh. We've all known that for a year."

Eric continued, as if Hyde hadn't spoken.

"I was so obsessed with having the future I wanted, that I lost the best thing in my present. I lost her." He shook his head, sadly. "It wasn't worth it." His face crumpled as he finally broke down and let himself cry. "And - and now she's found someone else. Someone better."

Hyde scoffed. "Don't know about that, man."

Eric wiped his eyes. "What do you mean?"

Hyde raised his eyebrows. "You really trust Casey?"

"No," Eric's shoulders slumped. "But Donna does."

"Donna ain't herself lately."

Eric's eyes shot to Hyde's. "You've noticed, too?"

Hyde sighed, like he was reluctant to talk about this. He grabbed his chin, like he was deciding what to say. "Her ma split, man. There's no way she's okay."

"She's not," Eric agreed, softly.

Hyde held his gaze for a long moment. He still wore a conflicted expression, but then seemed to come to some kind of decision and his face relaxed. "Alright, Forman. C'mon," Hyde stood up and grabbed the Vista Cruiser's keys from the coffee table. He whacked Eric in the leg as he did so. "Let's go."

"Go? Go where?"

"The Le Motel."

"I really like you, Hyde," Eric began, his tone laden with sarcasm. "But I don't know if we're there yet - "

"You want to sit here and dick around, or you want to go get your girl?"

The grin fell off Eric's face. "Hey. Wait a minute. I thought you said I had to 'play it cool' - "

"Playin' it cool is overrated."

"I don't - I - there's nothing I can - "

"Don't you think you should at least try?" Hyde stood near the door now, impatiently. Eric still hadn't moved from the couch. He felt frozen.

"Hey, I've tried," Eric scowled. "I've tried everything, and Donna - "

"Yeah, you've tried everything 'cept talkin' about your crap with each other."

Eric chuckled humorlessly. "Look, I don't need a lecture about expressing my feelings from Mr. Zen - "

"Forman!" Hyde barked, his impatience finally spilling over. "Do you wanna sit here and dick around, or do you want to go try to stop Donna from making one of the biggest mistakes of her life?"

Eric gulped, as he processed his best friend's advice. He'd never steered him wrong before. Eric stood up. He was nodding slowly.

It was time to rescue the princess.

The Le Motel was the nicest motel in all of Kenosha - which wasn't saying much. Still, a night in the Honeymoon Suite had to have cost Casey almost a full day's salary, and Donna gawked at the businessmen at the bar in their suits, the porters scurrying around transporting guests' luggage, as they walked through the lobby.

There was a floor-to-ceiling mirror in the elevator, and Casey grinned at her and toyed with the hem of her dress, skirting his fingers underneath it, dancing across her thighs. Donna felt giddy, watching him touch her, but her heart pounded with nerves. She'd never done this before with anyone other than Eric. Casey was intimidatingly experienced. What if she disappointed him? It was her worst fear.

But he quelled her anxious thoughts as they reached the suite. Casey held open the door for her and she giggled at his chivalry.

"After you, m'lady."

That one word sent a devastating and sudden chill through the center of her chest. M'lady. Eric.

But she shook her head - shook him off. Tonight wasn't about the past, it was about the future, she reminded herself sternly. Thoughts about Eric were off-limits. It was easy enough for her to dismiss. Casey was unbuttoning the top of his shirt, showing a peek of his chest hair. He grinned at her, and gestured to the mini fridge at the front of the room. "Shall we start with a drink?"

Donna nodded, and popped open the fridge. To her delight, it was filled with a ton of little bottles of liquor.

"What do you want, baby?" Casey'd crossed over to her, and he held out a nice crystal glass.

"Kahlua and Scotch," Donna grinned. "Did you know that if you mix them, it tastes just like Dr. Pepper?"

Another memory unwittingly took hold - the night she and Eric got drunk in that hotel room in the Wisconsin Dells. Donna tried to brush it off like the last one, but this one was stubborn.

"You're cute."

"I think you're cute too. And a little drunk. Which is gonna make my job a whole lot easier."

"Baby?"

Donna blinked, and she was back in the moment. Casey was peering at her. He held out her glass expectantly, and she swallowed and took it.

"Made it extra strong," he winked at her. "Loosen you up."

Donna gave him a smile and lifted the drink to her lips. The alcohol burned her lips as she sipped. Casey leaned forward and tipped the glass forward, pouring more of the harsh liquid down her throat.

"There you go, baby," he crowed. "Take it all."

Donna began to cough and sputter, and she pulled her head away. "Hey," she said, angrily. She set the half-finished glass on the credenza and wiped at her mouth, glaring at Casey.

But Casey didn't seem to notice her anger. He pulled her closer, and then started to kiss and nibble at her neck. The feeling instantly disarmed her, and Donna felt herself melting into his embrace.

"Ready for bed?" he cooed into her ear. "Hmm?"

She already felt the alcohol rushing to her head. This was good, she thought. This was for the best. Make it fast. Get it over with. Like ripping off a band-aid.

She nodded, and Casey practically carried her to the lush, honeymoon bed.

"We can get rid of this," he narrated as he started to peel off her layers of clothing, one by one. "And this." First she was shrugged out of her flannel outer shirt, and then her jeans were unzipped. Donna felt nauseous, dizzy, and she closed her eyes to make the room stop spinning. When she opened them again, Casey'd removed his shirt.

His chest was gorgeous, rippled with muscles and a manly spread of dark hair, and Donna found herself reaching for it. As her hand moved up and down, tracing the muscles, Casey made a soft noise of approval.

Suddenly, he moved to pull down the neckline of her tank top, exposing her breasts. It startled Donna and she gasped as he leaned down and started to bite her nipples. But it didn't feel good. It hurt, and she wiggled beneath him, hoping he'd sense her discomfort and stop. He didn't.

Not right, her brain was screaming at her. Not right. This isn't right…

"C-Casey - " she gasped, but he must've thought it was a gasp of pleasure because he continued to bite her.

Donna braced her hands against his shoulders, pushing with all her might. He finally got the hint, and pulled back.

"Can we just - can we slow down?" She'd been dreaming about this moment for weeks, and it wasn't happening like she'd imagined at all.

"Slow down?" Casey wore a smile, but his tone was incredulous. Condescending. "Whaddaya mean, Pinciotti? We're just getting started." He was eyeing her exposed breasts hungrily, but it didn't make her feel good. It made her feel like an antelope about to be devoured by a lion.

"I just - can we - " she smoothed a hand up his forearm, hoping to be soothing. "I just wanted it to feel a little more romantic - "

Now Casey laughed, meanly. He sat back on the bed and twisted away from her touch. "Damn, I should have known…" he mumbled, mostly to himself.

Donna frowned. "Should've known what?"

"That you're too young for me." He was shaking his head, disappointed. Donna's heart plummeted into her stomach.

"I'm not - I'm not too - "

But Casey continued to move away from her. He still smiled, but it was strained. "I mean, damn. Here I spent all this fuckin' money on you and - " He cut himself off, leafing a frustrated hand through his hair. His face was still stretched into a smile, despite his tense tone. It was becoming more and more unsettling. Donna pulled her tank top back into place. "And now here you are, acting like a high school girl."

I am a high school girl, she thought. She was focusing hard on holding back her tears, but her voice quivered. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothin' to be sorry about," Casey insisted, in the same scary-nice tone. "Just - "

But suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Donna and Casey looked at each other quizzically. Was it room service? A porter with more of their bags?

Two more hard knocks. "Donna, I have to talk to you!"

Her heart leapt into her throat. It was Eric.