A/N: Happy Friday everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 18: Watch and wait

Lily was already in bed, reading, when James made it up to their room. Hearing him quietly close the door behind him, she put her book on the bedside table, set her reading glasses on top of it and sat up.

"I've put a spell on Ha– his doorway," James said, sitting down on his side of the bed heavily. He still couldn't quite bring himself to call Harry by his name, but Lily knew who he meant anyway, and she simply nodded in ascent.

It had been the last of a series of similar spells he'd had to cast that day. With Bellatrix on the loose, the Potters had spent their evening refreshing, reinforcing and adding to the wards that already protected their home. The kids had been a little spooked by James's insistence that they start wearing Portkey bracelets again but had complied with minimal grumbling, Harry's quietly intense presence in their home no doubt serving as a reminder that things weren't the same as usual.

James sighed and straightened his back, wincing at the ominous clicking sounds that accompanied the movement. He was exhausted, his bones felt heavy, his joints sore… It was on days like these that he found himself having to face the fact that he would soon be turning forty.

Seeing Harry in the flesh had certainly brought that home as well. Looking at this boy, with his overgrown, too thin frame, his pale face and wide eyes, James could barely believe he and Lily had been only a few years older than that when they'd had their first child…

"So, what now?" Lily asked, bringing James back to the present.

He lifted the covers and lay down on his side of the bed. It felt good to be horizontal.

"I don't really know," he said with a small laugh. "We watch and wait. He might disappear back to his world tonight. And if he doesn't…"

"We still watch and wait," Lily finished, using his earlier words. She looked at him and ran a hand along his arm. "I suppose that's all we can do, right?"

James nodded. He threw his arms up over his head and contemplated the strange situation they found themselves in. Their long-dead son from another world was living in their home…! James hadn't even got close to deciding how he felt about it.

And he also hadn't decided if he wanted to know how Lily felt about it, he thought, sneaking a glance at her. He hadn't forgotten those dark days after Harry's death, when they'd lost themselves and almost lost each other… For a second, James allowed himself to contemplate what his life might have been like if Lily had really walked out on him – or he on her…

A second was enough to make him shudder. He brought down one arm to pull Lily closer to him and felt her smile. He kissed the top of her head.

"Are you going to tell Sirius and Remus?" Lily asked, her voice muffled against his chest.

A question that, once upon a time, wouldn't even have needed to be asked, James thought wryly. But now…

He shrugged and stared at the ceiling without answering. It wasn't that he didn't want them to know. Not exactly… But he was reluctant. For one, he wasn't sure he'd properly come to terms with Harry's presence. But also, telling Sirius and Remus involved facing criticism about how he'd handled the situation.

Remus, ever the pragmatic one, would want to know why they hadn't notified the Ministry, or at least spoken to someone who might be able to tell them more about 'world-hopping' – or whatever it was called when you landed into a different reality.

And Sirius… Sirius, so different from the reckless youth he'd been, had grown into a cautious man – when it came to his friends and their family's safety at least. Perhaps it was the years he'd spent training under Moody… Remus always joked that they were almost like an old married couple towards the end of Sirius's apprenticeship. Sirius, James knew without a shadow of a doubt, would not consider his or Lily's evidence as proof enough of Harry's identity and good will.

But even that wasn't James's main reason for keeping such a momentous event from his two best friends. No. Above all, what stopped James from telling them anything was the fact that both men had taken Harry's death and Peter's betrayal almost as badly as the Potters had. It had taken years before their feeling of guilt had begun to erode, and James did not fancy bringing back these old demons before he'd worked out the situation himself.

"I don't know," he said at last. "You know what they're like…"

Lily nodded. "Only because they care though. It might do you good to speak to someone about it."

"You're someone," he said sullenly.

"You know what I mean…" Lily said. She gave him a long-suffering roll of her eyes, softened by a quick peck on lips, and started her pre-sleep shuffling routine, nestling more comfortably into bed.

"I'll think about it," James relented.

He was rewarded by another kiss. Lily shuffled some more and then was still. Within seconds, her breathing was deep and even. She was asleep, James knew without even needing to look. He didn't ask her whether she was going to speak to anyone about it. He knew the answer…

There wasn't a day that went by without him feeling lucky that Sirius and Remus had survived the war unharmed. Losing one friend to treason and death had been hard enough, but to lose three like Lily had… He knew she still saw a bit of Mary MacDonald – or rather, Mary Cattermole as she was known these days – but without the rest of the Gryffindor girls, things just weren't the same and they'd quickly grown apart.

Eventually, the comfortable familiarity of Lily's breathing, the warmth of her back against his, the scent of their bed overrode the many decisions vying for his attention, and James was lulled into sorrowful sleep, populated with dreams about a green light hitting the tiny body of the child he had failed to protect…