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Holding out his hand, Major positioned the syringe over his wrist. Slowly, he pushed in the plunger. One cured zombie, coming up.
In front of him, he heard a gun cock. Enzo was pointing it straight at his chest. Just before he pulled the trigger, he zombied out, right there on live TV. Red eyes and everything. He shot again and again and again. The first bullets hurt as they struck Major's chest, but after that, everything went mercifully black.
But then, slowly, he began hearing sounds again. Ravi laughing. A single gunshot. A hail of gunshots. And then silence. Major lay there, wondering what had happened. If he was dead, he shouldn't have been able to hear any of that. If he was dead, he shouldn't be thinking. Unless death was really different than he had expected it to be.
Gradually he realized that none of his senses had changed the way he would have expected them to. Brains still sounded pretty tasty. Somehow, he was still a zombie.
He had taken the cure. How was that possible?
Not sure what was happening around him, Major focused on staying still, not letting his face move, not breathing. He wanted brains pretty badly, and the places where Enzo's bullets had struck all hurt a lot, but there was no question he was still alive. And the only person who could have made that happen was his roommate, who had thought this was a stupid plan from the get-go.
Just as he'd come to that realization, he felt someone crawl on top of him and heard Ravi's voice calling his name.
"You tricky son-of-a-bitch," he muttered quietly, without opening his eyes. "What was in the syringe you gave me?"
Ravi breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "Max Rager. It's all I had on hand."
"You just had to be the hero, didn't you?"
"Next time, though … Next time, it's all yours."
Major realized that all this time, there had been light on his face. He opened his eyes to look into the flashlight of Ravi's phone. "You're not taking a selfie, are you?" He laughed, which hurt. A lot.
"Hey, careful there." Ravi looked around him. "We have to get you out of here."
"How?"
"I don't know. I'll think of something. Stay there. Play dead."
"I am dead."
"Then stop talking."
Major managed a small smile, then he closed his eyes and waited, passing the time by trying not to go to full zombie mode with the pain of the gunshots, and trying not to smell human brains all around him.
Eventually, he felt himself lifted, and heard the zipper of a body bag closing over his face. Man, he hated being transported in body bags. But better that than ruining whatever good they'd done on the air by proving that he had still been a zombie after all. He'd gathered from things people said around him that Enzo was dead, which he was pretty happy about.
When the body bag was unzipped, Ravi said, "Okay, you can open your eyes now."
Looking around, Major recognized their house, relieved to be home and safe.
"You're not safe for long," Ravi said. He was systematically pulling the blinds. "God, I have so much to tell you."
"Enzo's dead."
"Yeah. I cured him, and then that teacher guy shot him. Right on live TV. Then Fillmore Graves shot the whole studio to hell. They're going to be on the hook for a big remodeling fee."
"Somehow I doubt Fillmore Graves is going to outlast the zombie virus." Major mourned Vivian Stoll, who had had such faith in the future, and Chase Graves, who had tried so hard, and all the people lost in the senseless zombie-human warfare.
"No. I imagine not."
"And Major Lilywhite? What happens to him?"
"He stays dead."
"Great. Do I get a new name?"
Ravi managed a smile. "If you want one."
"God, yes."
"Here." Ravi handed him a packet of semi-frozen brain tubes. "We have a few left in the freezer."
"Can you get me another one? This one might not be enough," Major said around a mouthful of frozen brain slush.
"Yeah, I'll—" Ravi stopped and stared at his phone like he'd just seen a ghost.
"What?"
"It's—it's from Peyton. But … Peyton's dead. How can she be texting me?" His voice broke.
"Maybe Liv, from Peyton's phone?" But Liv wouldn't do that to Ravi, not if she had any other choice at all. "Maybe—"
"No. Don't say that. I can't—if I start to hope, then—" Ravi cleared his throat.
"What does the text say?"
"Oh. Oh, I hadn't even read it. I saw her name and—" Taking a deep breath, Ravi read the text. "Someone blew up the morgue. Liv was there, and … and Michelle. You know, the cop? The one Clive had the affair with?"
"Oh, my God. Are they all right?"
"This—whoever this is says Liv should be fine, but Michelle … she was human. The damage— Oh, man, poor Clive. And her kid."
Major shook his head, feeling sick at heart. So much death. So much unnecessary destruction. It had all been so much, but this late in the game? It felt so completely futile. "Can we go to Liv? I've had some experience in not being recognized."
Ravi nodded. He was staring at Major, frowning thoughtfully.
"What?"
"There's just a lot of loose ends to tie up."
"Oh, my God, the morgue! All the zombie cures!"
"No, no. I locked a lot of that up."
"Where?"
Ravi looked past him toward the safe in his closet. "I figured no one would think to look here. And they didn't. All right—I'm getting you another brain tube, but we need to hurry to get to Liv. She probably thinks you're—"
"Oh. Oh, God. Yes, let's go. Quickly!" He didn't want Liv to have to mourn him for another minute.