A/N: Thanks for the latest reviews, folks. Always grateful and happy to see your thoughts :)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 15
It had been a couple of weeks. Wade had worried a little in the beginning, about how he would deal with being a real-live boyfriend to somebody, but with Zoe, it really was pretty simple. They went out on a couple of dates, hung out some when he wasn't tied up with work and she had no classes or urgent assignments. It felt strange, no doubt, being in a relationship like that, but it was in no way bad. Wade started to wonder why he ever thought being with Zoe would be hard at all. It was the easiest thing in the world just to fall right into love with her, not that he ever did tell her that part.
"Wade? Are you feeling okay?"
He hadn't realised how deeply he was thinking or how strangely quiet he must have gotten on the walk back to her dorm tonight, until she called him on it. The look of worry on her face made him feel awful in a second.
"I'm sorry, baby," he said, leaning on the wall by her door. "I was just... There's nothing wrong with me, I swear."
"Okay." She nodded her head, though there was still some concern in her eyes.
"C'mere," he urged her closer, holding her face in his hands as he kissed her, softly at first and then more deeply.
This was how it went, particularly at the end of an evening spent together. The kiss goodnight would start to go a little far, before they both remembered themselves and backed off. The whole taking it slower thing seemed like it was going to be rough, but Wade found he was actually doing okay with it. Maybe it was knowing that he meant more to somebody than just a good lay. That Zoe really saw more in him than just his body and what he could do with it.
With Zoe's back against the wall and his body pressed against hers, Wade started to realise now was the time to go, before things went altogether too far. The moment he started pulling away, Zoe's arms tightened around his neck, keeping him close as she moaned against his mouth. In seconds, he was drowning in the moment all over again, beginning to lose all sense of reason as she shifted against him, when suddenly he heard her ask if he wanted to come inside.
"Seriously?" he checked, sure he sounded and looked as dazed as he felt.
"I know we said we were going to take a break, work our way back to that slowly," she said breathlessly, looking up at him through her lashes, "but eventually, we're going to get there, and I just thought... well, eventually has probably arrived, right?"
It was so strange for Wade to realise the answer to her question was no. Of course, there was a part of him that wanted to say yes. One part, in particular, though even Wade Kinsella was too much of a gentleman to say as much in a moment like this. At the same time, he knew that if they went that far tonight, things were going to change again. There was every chance his relationship with Zoe could go right back to what it used to be before, and that, he did not want at all.
"Uh, you know, what?" he said, pulling out of her arms and taking a very definite step back. "I think maybe I should go."
She looked hurt and it tore at Wade's heart to see it. Poor Zoe, he didn't doubt he had confused the hell out of her. He was confusing himself, truth be told, but he just couldn't do what she wanted, not tonight. At the same time, he felt as if he would do anything to take the pain out of her eyes.
"I promise, it is not that I don't want to," he told her definitely. "It's just, like you said, eventually. Couple of weeks ain't exactly that long and..."
"No, you're right." Zoe nodded then. "Of course, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."
Wade smiled as he moved in a little closer then, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. "Sweetheart, I know exactly what you were thinking, and I ain't gonna lie, I think about it too, but..."
"But it's probably a little too soon," she agreed, her fingers closing around his and the smile back on her lips now. "You're right, I know you are. Taking it slow is better. You know, you can be quite the gentleman when you want to be, Wade Kinsella."
"There's a sentence nobody ever used before." He rolled his eyes, as he leaned down and kissed her one more time. "But I don't hate that you just did. Goodnight, Zoe Wilkes."
"Goodnight, Wade Kinsella," she told him softly, before he turned and walked away.
Maybe he was the biggest fool in the world, Wade sure felt like he might be, as he turned the corner, both hands covering his face as he breathed deeply. He just gave up a night of amazing sex with a woman he was pretty sure he was in love with, and for what? So she would call him a gentleman when no-one else ever had? So he could pretend he was something more than he was just for a little while longer? Fool himself into thinking he genuinely mattered to someone for the first time in his stupid life?
"You're as crazy as your old man, Kinsella," he told himself crossly, stepping out into the cool night air and kicking the first sizeable stone he saw just as hard as he could.
"Hey, you're gonna hurt somebody!" George called to him, narrowly avoiding being hit by the projectile as he approached. "What's goin' on, Wade?"
"Not much." Wade sighed, rubbing at his forehead that ached from thinking too hard, he had no doubt. "You just drop off Lemon at the sorority house?"
"Yes, I did." George nodded. "And I'm guessin' you just left Zoe at her door too? That has to be a real different experience for you."
"Hey, what is that supposed to mean?"
The moment he got done snapping at his buddy, Wade knew he was wrong for doing it. After all, he made a perfectly good point. It was real different for Wade to be dating a girl rather than just sleeping with her, for him to end a night out like that all by himself, no real action whatsoever. George didn't mean any harm. Hell, the guy never meant to offend anybody, ever, to the point of it almost being annoying sometimes.
"I'm sorry, Tucker," Wade told him then, shaking his head. "Don't even worry about me, I'm just... I don't even know what I am."
He moved to walk away, only for his friend's hand to land on his shoulder and urge him to come back.
"Wade, come on now. Something is clearly not right here. You know, if you need to talk to somebody, I am always here for you."
Touchy-feely stuff wasn't really something Wade wanted to get into. That being said, he supposed there was no better candidate than George Tucker when it came to finding a person to bring his problems to. He and Lemon had been together in a pretty serious way since they were all fifteen years old. Six years was a long time, especially for folks their age. If he didn't know by now what a real relationship meant, then nobody did.
"You got beer at your place?"
George grinned that old familiar toothpaste ad smile. "You know I do."
"Then let's get goin'." Wade smiled right back.
Ten minutes later, they were sat in the dorm room, Wade stretched out on the couch and George sinking into his over-sized beanbag chair that he loved so much, each of them holding onto a bottle of beer. Of course, the serious talking about dating didn't start right away. Wade meant for it to, but finding the right words didn't come any easier when he was talking about Zoe than when he was trying to talk to her.
"So, somethin' serious is on your mind," said George, taking a sip from his bottle as he stared across at Wade. "I'd lay down five bucks it has to do with Zoe Wilkes."
"Can't deny you'd win your bet, Tucker," said Wade, eyes on the ceiling as he tipped back his head to drink down as much beer as he could take in one hit. "Not that there's anythin' wrong with Zoe. She is just... she's everything, at least, she is to me. You know better than anyone, I never saw myself gettin' serious about any girl, but then I met her and, I can't explain it, not at all, but I'm just crazy about her. When this whole thing started, the sex was amazing, I don't mind admitting. Again, you know me, you know I've had my share of A-plus sex, so I know what I'm talking about."
"I have heard enough about your experience to know that, yes," said George quietly, seeming as if he almost wished it wasn't true.
"Well, with Zoe, it's like this whole other level, at least, it was."
"It's not now?" asked George, shifting awkwardly in his seat. "I mean, not that I really wanna know, but if that's the problem, I'm probably not the best person to talk to about-"
"It ain't that the sex is suddenly not great," Wade explained, hoping to put his friend out of his misery. "It's not even that it's not happening, because trust me, brother, Zoe was all kinds of ready to jump right back on the horse, if you know what I'm sayin'. We took a break, you know, while we were gettin' serious about each other. She wanted us to be close in all those other ways couples are, and I was just fine with that. Hell, I have adapted to this whole boyfriend thing a whole lot easier than I expected to, that is for damn sure. Problem is, now she wants to get back to how we was before, or at least, she wants us to start having sex again, and I'm just..."
Wade didn't have the words to explain how he was feeling, or maybe he did and was just feeling all kinds of foolish about having to say them out loud. He couldn't tell Zoe, he wasn't sure he could tell George either, not even with a couple of beers in him. Problem was, he was going to have to tell somebody, else go crazy as all get out before too much longer.
"If you don't wanna answer this, you don't have to," he said to George then, eyes fixed firmly on the ceiling because it just seemed safer that way, "but the first time you and Lemon... That make you nervous at all?"
"Not really. I mean, I was fifteen and she just told me she wasn't wearing any underwear. Pretty sure I didn't have time to feel nervous or anythin', I just... went with the moment," said George honestly, same as he always said everything. "Of course, the time I remember being real nervous was a while later, after I got up the nerve to finally tell Lemon I loved her."
Wade didn't mean to react to that at all, he was barely aware that he had, except some kind of noise or other must have escaped, because George pounced on it immediately.
"Oh my... You love her. You love Zoe and it is screwing with your mind!" he said, almost as if he was happy about it - one harsh look from Wade soon put paid to that. "Oh, yeah, I'm sorry," he said fast. "I didn't mean to make that sound like a good thing, 'cept the love part, because honestly, Wade, if you do love her-"
"I never said that I did," he was quick to point out.
"No, I know, but if you do," George repeated, "I just think that's great. Zoe is a real good person, and you two, you seem so well-suited. Would it be so bad if you did love her? You just told me yourself you've taken to being her boyfriend easier than you ever thought you could. That has to mean something, right?"
"Maybe," Wade knew he was right, but he wasn't quite in a place where he wanted to admit it yet, least not to Tucker anyhow.
If he was going to start talking about love, it ought to be to Zoe before anyone else, he knew that. If only he knew for sure that was what he was feeling.
"Look, Wade," said George then, leaning forward in the chair and causing the beans to rush around making too much noise. "I can't tell you how to handle your relationship with Zoe. It ain't my place and, honestly, there's no way to compare what Lemon and I have with what you to have. No two couples are ever the same, it just doesn't work that way. What I can tell you is that if you do love Zoe, you should tell her, and when you two do finally get back around to being... close," he said pointedly and awkwardly both, "it's not like you're going to mess it up. Love makes things more complicated sometimes, but I do also know, if both people are in the same place at the same time with what they're feelin', it can make everything a whole lot better too."
Wade considered that for a few moments, then nodded his head to prove he heard and mostly understood. Maybe things would be better with him and Zoe if he just told her how he really felt. Probably better than just falling into bed together as they were and everything going back to how it was before. Amazing as the sex-only thing they had going before was, Wade had to admit, he liked things better as they were since. The real, genuine closeness that he and Zoe shared. The way she treated him like a man instead of a dirty secret, and not just that, but a man that really mattered to her. Like he was really worth something.
"Thanks for the beer, Tucker," he said then, finishing off the bottle in his hand and parking the empty on the coffee table as he got up to leave. "Your advice ain't so bad either," he told him with a grin.
"You know what you're gonna do?" George asked, even as Wade went straight for the door.
"Yes, I do," his friend assured him, raising one hand in a salute-type wave and leaving the dorm without another word.
On the way back to his own place, Wade pulled out his cell and started texting Zoe, asking if she was free Friday night. The answer came back swiftly, telling him she could be if he wanted her to be. With a grin on his face a mile wide, he said that he definitely did want that. He had something real special planned for the two of them, a night that she would hopefully never forget.
To Be Continued...