I grinned as I followed Kirika. When I had died, I never expected to be reborn as the King of Heroes from Fate. That was the stuff of fever dreams, but this clearly wasn't a dream.

I had all of Gil's skills and abilities, along with his instincts. Gilgamesh was the most OP servant, and I had inherited all that power.

What was I going to do? Win the Holy Grail War, and troll all the other servants. Especially Saber.

I had already given her a taste of the new "Gilgamesh" and she appeared to be completely freaked out. Rin was annoying, but she saved me the effort of explaining the concept of the war to Kirika, Turns out in this world, Shirou Emiya is a girl—weird, right?

I personally didn't care—to me, it was kind of funny. Plus she was a great cook, super helpful, always nice and caring- perfect wife materiel for myself. On that note however, I wans't going to be like my body's original self and just rape her.

Nah, I was going to rizz her up with the Sigma Babylon Grindset.

"Hey, Kirika. You're pretty beautiful you know~" I grinned and winked at her. I could see Rin blushing (who knew she had such dirty thoughts) and Saber frowning.

"—W-what?" It looks she is pretty dense. I get right up in her face this time, and poke her in the forehead before whispering.

"You're a very pretty girl. I'm a pretty epic guy. So, what do you say?" I grinned ear to ear as I smiled at her, and took relish in Saber's confusion.

"A-are you asking me to g-go out on a d-date?" She gets fluseted so easily it was too funny.

"Why not? I mean, we can't do this Holy Grail War business at day." I brushed my hair back and gave her my million-watt smile.

She was about to respond before Rin beat her to the punch. "That's enough, Archer! Stop flirting with Kirika!"

Wait a minute. Rin is bisexual, isn't she? Don't tell me that she still likes Emiya...

I have to put an end to this not based competition. Channeling all the Michael O' Hearn energy I can, I suffuse my voice with pure prana.

"Emiya-chan! From the very moment we met, I knew you and I were destined for each other~"

I forced up all my inner Stallone, and readied my epicist and handsomest smile.

"Will you marry meee?"

has stopped responding.

has stopped responding. Sorry Saber, looks like you're not best girl anymore.

has crashed.

I burst out laughing as I take in their utter confusion.

"Rejoice mongrels, for you get to witness the King's romance!" It's kind of hard to do a Kirei impersantion, but I try. Rin looks completly creeped out by it and so does Saber, so I'll count it as a win.

And as for why I'm not stressed like any other self-insert is, the answer is simple. I'm f*cking Gilgamesh, King of Heroes. I could curbstomp every one of the other heroic spirits if I went serious— the only real problem is Gilgamesh who is far more arragont than me.

All I got to do is pull out Ea and let it rip on his punk ass.

"A-archer, please stop!" Ah, looks like Kirika is getting flustered. She is really cute when she gets like that.

I sigh slowly, and release a dramatic sigh. "Very well then, master."

"I can respect your privacy. We shall continue this discussion at homebase." To truly sell it, I wink at her.

She just sighs. I can see Kotomine Church in the distance, and I can't help the smile spread across my face.

Time to fuck with the true best girl.

Kirei Kotomine was a devoted man of God. So imagine his surprise when he saw Gilgamesh enter his church with a girl. Two girls, actually.

"Um, I'm here to register for the Holy Grail War. Tohsaka-san informed me of it." He turned his attention to Rin beside the girl and couldn't help but smile.

"What is your name, child?"

"Emiya Kirika."

"And this man is your servant?" He hid any of his surprise at that statement but couldn't help but stifle a laugh. To think Emiya's daughter had summoned Gilgamesh and Tokoimi's had summoned Arthur. Truly God laughed at the both of them.

"I am, priest." Gilgamesh's eyes gleamed with interest and the priest wandered what the first Hero saw in the Emiya girl to listen to her orders. "We are done here."

With those words, Gilgamesh turned and left, leaving Rin and the girl—Kirika—speechless. Truly, the 5th Grail War would be the most amusing one he had witnessed.

The two expressed their thanks before hurrying after him, shutting the door. Kirei turned to the pew before he could hear a person relaxing on the benches.

"Kotomine, kotomine, kotomine." He stared at Gilgamesh, who was watching him with a kind smile.

Kirei realized that it looked so alien on the King of Heroes' face since he had never once see Gilgamesh smile in such a matter.

The First Hero of Mankind could be cruel, mean, and rude, but he never been kind.

"Mashallah shounen." And with that crytic message, the King of Heroes returned to spirit form.

The priest stared at his hand.

What the hell had just happened?

"This is where we part ways, Emiya-chan." Rin glared at Archer as she spoke. "From now on, we are enemies."

"But—" Her response was cut off by Archer.

"You are free to go, girl. Remember that the king does not forget his debts." Why was Archer so infuriating? He acted so bizzarely, from flirting with Emiya on the way to the Church and then forcing them all out. She huffed— such a thing didn't matter, for she had summoned Saber, the strongest of all the Knight Classes.

Besides, Saber was the King Arthur. There was no way Archer could match her.

Archer then scooped up Kirika and leaped up into the sky, away from the two of them.

"He is truly a interesting servant, isn't he Saber?"

"He is, master. His master seems to be too kind to be involved in this war."

Rin nodded her head in agreement. Emiya-chan was far too nice.

"~It truly was a shame onee-chan had to run away like that~" Rin turned and locked eyes with Illyasviel von Einzbern. "But I think you would be a good plaything for Berserker, don't you agree, Tohsaka-san?"

"Stay behind me, Rin!" Saber rushed forward and summoned her armor and sword, and readied herself.

"Kill her, Berserker!"

A giant figure with ebony skin and mad eyes appeared behind the tiny girl. He was a massive figure of rippled muscle, and Rin gulped. She hoped that Saber would be able to win.

With a terrifying roar, the monster rushed towards Saber, swinging a slab of stone as large as Rin towards the petite blonde.

But the attack never hit, for Berserker was restrained by golden chains emerging from portals.

You have to be kidding... Archer descended from the sky with Emiya in his hands.

"I told you girl! The king does not forget his debts!" He had a large smile on his face, and grinned as he gazed at Berserker.

"Looks like he's all chained up now! Do you guys get it? Chained! I'm so funny sometimes..." She groaned as Archer begin his ramblings.

"—Archer! Don't hurt the little girl!" Archer nodded his head at Kirika's instructions before smirking.

"I think this fight needs something special, don't you agree Rin-chan?" Archer's cat-like eyes bored into her, and she could only shrug in response. Saber had tensed up, while Illyasviel looked shocked.

"So you decided to show up, onee-chan." The dimunitive girl glared at Kirika. "I'll kill you for stealing papa!"

"Your berserker can't do much, miss." Archer commented while portals opened up. "Lucky for you, you ladies are in for a performance!"

Rin saw musical instruments pour out of the portals and begin to sound as weapons emerged.

One sword entered Gilgamesh's hand, and he grinned. "Time to go the distance, BERSERKER!"

CHAPTER END.

Thanks for reading guys. The song Gil sings at the end is the Japanese version of Go the Distance from Disney's Hercules, as Gil's VA actually sung that song!

And yes... this Gilgamesh is not to be messed with...