The first night home from the hospital was rough. Maya was up every three hours to express and then struggled to get back to sleep when she was done. Carina didn't sleep very well either, waking up pretty much every time Maya did, taking the bottles of expressed milk downstairs to the fridge. By the next morning, they both felt like zombies when Rowan came running into their room.
"Is it morning yet?" the three-year-old asked.
"It is," Carina said sleepily as she helped Rowan up onto the bed, "Did you sleep well last night?" "Si," Rowan said, "Today, tan we pway all day?"
"How would you feel about going to daycare for today?" Maya asked, yawning a little bit.
"Um, how about we stay home and pway?" Rowan said, "I misseded you."
"I can stay home with you today," Carina said, "But we are going to have to take Mommy to the hospital to see Lia today."
"I want to see my baby Totoino Yia," Rowan said. "Lia is still going to be sleeping a lot," Maya said, "Once she is awake more, we will bring you to see her again, ok? But I will take lots of pictures of her and show you."
"Tan I see her now?" Rowan asked. "Sure," Maya said, grabbing her phone, seeing she had a message from Andrew that also had a picture of Lia, "Oh, here is one Zio Andrea sent a little while ago."
"Why is she in that box?" Rowan asked, "And why does she yook blue?"
"Well, she is in there to help keep her warm," Carina said, scooting closer to her two favorite blondes to see the new photo of Lia, "And to help her get better. And she is not blue, but she had lights on her that are making her look blue. She needs those lights right now because she had something called bilirubin in her blood and the lights help that go away."
"Why is it in her blood?" Rowan asked.
"Because her body is still trying to adjust to being outside of Mommy's body and sometimes it takes a little while for that to happen," Carina said, "And her liver, which is the part of the body that helps keep the blood clean, is still not quite ready to do its whole job yet. But the lights help and her body adjust. It just takes some time."
"Oh," Rowan said, looking at the picture again, "Mommy, I wish my baby Totoino Yia could come home."
"So do I Patatina," Maya said, pressing a kiss to the top of Rowan's head, "So do I."
Just then, they heard little footsteps and in walked Nora, fingers in her mouth, blanket in her hand and she walked over to the bed, Carina lifting her up as well.
"Did you sleep well Piccola?" Carina asked, rubbing Nora's back.
Nora nodded, moving closer to Maya.
"Good morning Piccola," Maya said, moving a little so Nora could lay on her, her belly still crampy and uncomfortable but she was not about to deny Nora the comfort she clearly needed.
"Mommy, tan we cuddle all day today?" Nora asked, pulling her fingers out just long enough to ask before putting them right back.
"I have to go back to the hospital today to see Lia," Maya said, feeling Nora tense in her arms, "But I will come home for dinner and bedtime, ok?"
"But I will miss you," Nora said, clinging to Maya a little tighter.
"I know," Maya said, "I will miss you too. But I also need to go see Lia. But Mamma is going to stay home with you and Rowan today."
"But I want you too," Nora said, tears in her eyes.
"How about I go after we have breakfast and then you and Mamma and Rowan can come pick me up after nap time?" Maya suggested, hating that Nora was upset but also knowing that there was no way she could not go see Lia today.
"But that's a yong time," Nora said.
"I can take you to the park," Carina offered, "Or we can go get gelato?"
"Or bof?" Rowan said.
"Or both," Carina nodded, "And then after you two take a nap, we can go pick Mommy up from the hospital and come home and maybe have another movie night or we can just read books and cuddle?"
"I don't want you to go Mommy," Nora said, shaking her head.
"I know," Maya sighed, trying really hard not to cry because she didn't want to go either but she also didn't want Lia to be alone, "But you can have lots of fun with Mamma today and then I will come home and we can spend tonight together. And I will be here for breakfast too. And I can help you get dressed this morning ok? And we can read a couple books before I go too? Or play for a little bit?"
"But you will sweep here today?" Nora asked.
"I will sleep here tonight," Maya nodded, "Hopefully I am all done sleeping at the hospital."
"At least until right before Lia comes home," Carina said, "Then Mommy and I might have to spend one more night at the hospital to practice taking care of Lia before she comes home, but that won't be for a few weeks."
"Really?" Maya said, not knowing that detail about the NICU process.
"Si," Carina nodded, "For some parents, they have them spend the night to make sure they know how to care for their baby before going home. Though it will depend on if Lia is coming home with anything like oxygen or an NG tube and also how we are feeling about it. I think the policy is if the bambino is coming home with any kind of equipment, it is a mandatory room in and if not, it is at the parents and medical team's discretion."
"Oh," Maya said, nodding as she took in this new information.
"But not today?" Nora said.
"No," Maya assured her, "Not today. Today I am going to go and spend some time with Lia and then come home and spend time with you all."
"Ok," Nora sighed. "Good," Carina smiled a little, "Now, do you guys want some breakfast?"
"Si," Rowan said, nodding, "Can we have French toes?"
"French toast?" Carina said, chuckling, "Sure, I think I can make that happen. Do you want to come help me?"
"I want to be with Mommy," Nora said, shaking her head. "I am going to go to the bathroom and then I will come downstairs," Maya said.
"Bambina, did you want me to get the sitz bath set up for you?" Carina asked.
"Actually, yes please," Maya nodded, "It has been helping."
"I will go do that and then take these two downstairs to make breakfast," Carina said, pressing a kiss to Maya's lips gently. Once the bath was ready for Maya, Carina went over to the bed, carefully helping her up, knowing her wife was incredibly sore.
"Va bene?" Carina asked.
"Si," Maya responded, just resting her head on Carina's chest for a minute.
"Is anything hurting more today?" Carina asked, rubbing her back.
"No," Maya said, "It all feels about the same. My stomach feels a little bit like there is some pressure, but I think it's probably just that I am going to need to use the bathroom soon."
"I will make sure you get your stool softener with breakfast," Carina nodded, "Hopefully we can get that working soon. I don't want you to feel sick because of it."
"Thank you for taking such good care of me," Maya mumbled, just holding onto her wife a little tighter.
"Always," Carina said, pressing a kiss to the top of Maya's head, "Now, you go do your bath and whenever you are ready, meet us downstairs for breakfast?"
Maya nodded, pulling away before going into the bathroom while Carina wrangled the twins downstairs.
Breakfast went pretty smoothly, Maya's appetite still not really there, but her wife's French toast was amazing as always and she managed to get some of it down along with some water because Carina told her that if she was going to be able to make enough milk for Lia, she was going to have to stay hydrated herself.
Once breakfast was over, Maya took the twins into the living room to read books per Nora's request while Carina got the kitchen cleaned up.
After a few stories, Maya and Carina both took the girls upstairs, getting them dressed before Carina took over teeth brushing and hair while Maya went to get herself dressed. She went into their bedroom, realizing she had absolutely no idea what to wear. Her bump had gone down a lot in the past few days, but she was also nowhere near back to her normal body shape. When she had gone into labor, she was still fifteen pounds lighter than she had been when she got pregnant but her weight was distributed in all kinds of weird ways that didn't make sense for her body.
She decided to try a pair of maternity leggings she had been wearing a lot toward the end of her pregnancy, but they were too big around the middle and kept sliding down. She then pulled out a pair of her regular leggings but they compressed her stomach in a way that made her want to cry.
Frustrated, she threw the pants across the room just as Carina walked in.
"Hey," the Italian said, "What's going on?"
"Nothing fits," Maya said, wiping at the tears that she did not give permission to run down her cheeks, "My maternity pants are too big and my regular pants are too small and I don't know what to wear and my body feels somehow even more foreign than it did while I was pregnant."
"Shhhh," Carina said, pulling her close as she cried, "I know. It's so hard. We will figure it out, ok?"
Carina just held her as she cried for a minute before pulling away.
"Va bene?" Carina asked, brushing a tear off Maya's cheek.
"Yeah," Maya said, sniffling, "Sorry. I…everything is making me so emotional."
"It's ok," Carina said, "Now, how about you just wear some pajama pants? You have black ones that have ties on them that will probably fit you and then you can just wear a zip up sweatshirt or even that pajama shirt Amelia gave you yesterday. You are just going to the NICU, you are not going to SFD headquarters."
"Shit, work," Maya said, "I have to figure out work. I mean, I told the chief when I went into early labor, but I need to figure out when I am going to go back because I don't want to take all my leave now because I want to have some for when Lia comes home but I don't want to not see Lia and I…"
"Hey," Carina said, stopping the spiral, "Bambina, take a breath for me ok? We can figure work out later. You are off right now and that is all that matters. The rest can be sorted out once things have settled down some. You are not going back this week or next week for sure because your body needs to recover. But you can take as much time off as you need to, even if it is a six-month extended leave or something like that. You know Chief Rodriguez is very understanding, and even if he doesn't, we will make it work. For right now, we are just going to focus on getting you healthy and Lia healthy, ok?"
Maya nodded, taking a shaky breath.
"Now, are you ready to get dressed?" Carina asked, tucking a piece of hair behind Maya's ear. "Yeah," Maya said, rubbing her eyes, "Where are the twins?"
"Nora was reading to her stuffed dinosaur and Rowan's fire engine was going to go save the dollhouse," Carina said, smiling, "They are just in their room."
"I am so glad they can play by themselves now without major fear of them destroying things or eating lotion," Maya said, chuckling as Carina handed her the pants.
"Si," Carina laughed, "They are growing up which makes me sad but also I am glad they don't need to be watched all the time. Hopefully with Lia, it will be easier because it will just be her."
"I wonder what she is going to be like when she is the twins' age," Maya said, pulling off her pajama shirt, Carina handing her a nursing bra, "I am excited to see her personality come out."
"Me too," Carina said, "It has been so fun watch the twins become their own little people and I cannot wait to do the same thing with Lia."
Maya finished getting her sweatshirt on because despite it being August, it was much easier for her to hold Lia skin to skin when she could undo the front of her shirt and also the hospital was always cold anyway.
"How is your bleeding today Bambina?" Carina asked as Maya pulled her sleep shorts off.
"It's slowing down," Maya said, "There are less clots and stuff too. I'm still kinda crampy."
"That is all normal," Carina said, "In the next twenty-four hours or so, the bright red bleeding should stop, but you are still going to have a lot of discharge for the next few weeks."
"This whole post-partum thing is a lot," Maya said, pulling on her clean pajama pants.
"I know," Carina said, "But you are doing so well. And I will help you as much as I can."
"You already have," Maya said, smiling as she walked into Carina's arms, "Thank you. How are you doing today?"
"I am very tired," Carina said, "But I am ok. I am hoping the bambine go easy on me today. Do you promise to send me lots of pictures of our Trottolina?"
"Of course," Maya said before she stopped, looking at her wife, "Wait, did you want to go see Lia today? Oh my god, I didn't even think… Of course you want to see her. What was I thinking? Maybe we can…"
"Hey," Carina said, stopping yet another spiral this morning, "Yes, I do want to see Lia, but I am also ok with staying home with the twins for today. I am going to tell them they are going back to daycare tomorrow. I am going to make sure to talk to them about it and get them ready for it so it's less of a fight tomorrow and then I can go see Lia. And maybe I will sneak away once you are home for some Lia time tonight. I am perfectly fine with you going to see Lia today. You need time with her to help with your hormones and your milk production. I will have my time with her too."
"I don't want to monopolize her," Maya said, "Maybe we can switch off at some point today?"
"Bambina, it is really ok," Carina said, "I promise. As long as you send pictures. And I will go see her tonight. We are going to have to switch off, especially on days the twins are home. But for today, I want you to go."
"Ok," Maya nodded, "But if you weren't ok, you would tell me right?"
"I would," Carina nodded, "Now, do you need to do one more round of expressing before we go?"
"I should," Maya said, nodding, "I really hope my milk comes in soon."
"You have to stay hydrated and eat," Carina said, "That is the best way to help with that. And being consistent with expressing."
"I know," Maya sighed, "Ok, I am going to go express and then I will finish getting ready."
"I am going to get dressed and then go check on the bambine," Carina said, "Unless you need anything."
"No, I am good," Maya said, giving her a small kiss, "Thank you."
Maya went and sat down on the bed, getting herself situated. Just as she started, she looked over and saw Nora walking into the room.
"Hi Mommy," Nora said, "Are you making milk for Yia?"
"I am," Maya nodded, "What are you doing?"
"I was reading books," Nora said, "But then I misseded you."
"I missed you too Piccola," Maya said.
"Do you have to go see Yia?" Nora asked.
"I am going to go see her," Maya nodded, "She is little and she is all alone at the hospital. Don't you think that would be kinda scary?"
"Yia is scared?" Nora asked.
"I don't know," Maya said, "She can't talk yet, but I think she likes it when Mamma or I go and see her. Just like you like being with Mamma and me, Lia does too."
"I don't want Yia to be scared," Nora said, "So you should go see her I fink."
"I think that's a good idea too," Maya said, "And I will be home after nap time, ok? But then Mamma might go see Lia."
"So Yia isn't scared?" Nora said.
"Yes," Maya nodded, "And also because Mamma misses Lia too. Just like we miss you when we are away from you."
"And I misseded you and Mamma when you are at the hospipal," Nora said.
"Exactly," Maya said.
"I miss Yia too," Nora said.
"Mamma and I will take you to see her soon, ok?" Maya said, "We just want to let her get a little bigger and have her not need to be under the lights anymore. But I already promised Mamma that I would send lots of pictures today so she can show them to you."
"Mommy, does it hurt to make milk for Yia?" Nora asked.
"No," Maya said, "It feels a little weird, but it doesn't really hurt."
Nora just nodded, laying her head down on Maya's lap.
"Mommy," Rowan said, running into the room a few minutes later.
"Hi Patatina," Maya said as Rowan pulled herself up onto the bed.
"Oh, you are making milk for Yia?" Rowan said.
"I am," Maya nodded.
"Mommy, did you make milk for me when I was a baby?" Rowan asked.
"I didn't," Maya said, "Mamma made milk for both of you when you were babies."
"Why?" Rowan asked.
"Well, because she was the one who was pregnant with you," Maya said, "And we talked about me helping make milk for you too, but it just didn't work out like that. And I would still feed you lots and lots of bottles when Mamma was at work, especially you Nora because you only wanted bottles."
"But what about me?" Rowan asked, "If I didn't have a bottle, how did I have milk?"
"Well, you would drink straight from Mamma," Maya explained, "So instead of the milk coming out and then going into a bottle, you would just drink right from her."
"From her boobies?" Rowan asked.
"Yes," Maya smiled.
"But why does Yia not drink from your boobies?" Rowan asked.
"Because she is too tiny," Maya explained, "She has to get bigger before she can even drink from a bottle or from me. Right now, all her food goes in the tube that is in her nose."
"She drinks from her nose?" Rowan said, clearly confused.
"No," Maya said, "The tube goes through her nose and all the way into her tummy and then the food goes right into her tummy."
"Oh," Rowan said, contemplating this, "But when she is bigger, she can eat regular like us?"
"When she is a lot bigger, yes," Maya said, "First she will learn how to drink a bottle probably."
"How many more days until my baby totoino Yia comes home?" Rowan asked.
"We don't know Patatina," Carina said, coming back into the bedroom, now dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, her hair tied up in a braid, "Remember, she has to grow and get better?"
"But how many days?" Rowan asked.
"We don't know," Carina said, sitting down, "It all depends on how long it takes for Lia to get better. But it will probably be a while. Remember, we still have the paper chains to cut? When those are all gone, it will probably be time for Lia to come home."
"Fine," Rowan sighed, "Tan we go to the park now?"
"We have to take Mommy to see Lia first," Carina said, "And she has to finish getting milk for Lia."
"I'm done with that," Maya said, setting the bottle aside before pulling her bra back on, "I need to use the bathroom and then I will be ready."
"Ok bambine," Carina said, "Can you go get your shoes on?"
"Si," the girls said, getting off the bed.
"Do you need me to stay up here with you?" Carina asked Maya as she helped the blonde up.
"No," Maya said, "I am just going to go pee. I'll be down in a few minutes. Can you get the cooler with the milk?"
"Of course," Carina said, "Take your time."
Maya nodded, heading into the bathroom. Once she was done, she went downstairs, finding Nora and Rowan both helping Carina pack the cooler with the milk.
"We're helping Mamma," Nora said as she handed a bottle to Rowan to put in the cooler. "And we helped get snacks and water for the park," Rowan said.
"You two are such big helpers," Maya said, smiling at them as she went to put on her shoes.
"That's the end," Carina said, handing the twins the last bottle, "Thank you for your help. Now, let's go get in the car."
Soon enough, all four of them were in the car, heading to the hospital.
"Mommy, do you have to go?" Nora asked as they pulled up.
"I do," Maya nodded, "I will be back tonight."
"Pwease no?" Nora said, tears in her eyes "Pwease stay?"
"I need to go see Lia," Maya said, feeling her heart break as she got out of the car, opening the back door so she could see the girls, "I will be back after nap time. And you get to go have fun with Mamma."
"But I will miss you," Nora said, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I will miss you too," Maya said, leaning over and giving her a hug, ignoring how uncomfortable leaning over like that made her belly feel.
"We are going to have lots of fun today," Carina said, looking in the back seat.
"And you can tell me all about it when I get home," Maya said, "I love you."
"I lobe you too," Nora said, still crying.
"It's gonna be ok Nora," Maya said, pressing a kiss to her forehead before closing her door, going around to the other side of the car and giving Rowan a quick kiss and hug as well before Carina got out, hugging her wife.
"If anything happens and you need me to come, just let me know, ok?" Carina said, "And I packed water and snacks for you in the bag with Lia's milk. Please remember to eat and drink?"
"I will," Maya nodded, "And I will send you pictures all day. Send me some of the twins too. I love you."
"I love you too," Carina said, giving her a kiss, "I will text you when the twins wake up and we are coming to get you."
"Sounds good," Maya nodded as she took the bag from Carina and headed into the hospital.
She went down to the NICU, getting herself scrubbed before going in. She gave Lia's milk to her nurse for the day who was names Jenna before going to check on the baby. Lia was still under the lights, her eyes covered with the mask. Maya quickly slipped her hand into the incubator, stroking Lia's tiny hand.
"Mommy is here Trottolina," Maya said.
Jenna came over a few minutes later, letting Maya change her diaper before transitioning her to the bili blanket and getting her all curled up on Maya's chest.
"Was she ok last night?" Maya asked, "I know she had some tummy issues the night before."
"She was great according to her night nurse," Jenna nodded, "And her uncle stopped by to see her a few times."
"I know," Maya said, "He sent photos."
"Good," Jenna said, "Yeah, she has just been relaxing. Her bilirubin levels are not rising anymore, so we are hoping another day or two under the lights and she will be good to go. But other than that, she has been a little rockstar."
"Good job Peanut," Maya said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her head, "You are such a strong girl."
"If you need anything, just let me know," Jenna said, "I'm here until 7 tonight."
Maya nodded as she settled in. For a while, she just talked gently to Lia about various things, settling on the proper way to do fire inspections of schools for a while before jumping how to properly put on turnout gear. Maya knew full well that the baby had no idea what she was saying but she also found all of these things to be calming so she just went with it.
She made sure to send Carina a lot of pictures throughout the day, only setting Lia down to go express and then once when Teddy arrived with food, dragging her out of the NICU and into a parents break room to eat, saying Carina had told her that if she didn't eat, the cardio surgeon was to tell the nurses Maya was not allowed in the NICU anymore today. She ate her lunch, finding some of her appetite coming back a little bit which she knew was a good sign.
Once lunch was over, she settled back in for another few hours with Lia before Carina texted her that she and the twins were on their way.
Leaving was so hard and Maya cried the entire way from the NICU up to the parking lot, glad she didn't run into anyone. She got in the car, trying hard to wipe away the tears so she didn't scare the twins.
"Mommy," Rowan shouted from the back seat, "How was my baby totoina Yia?"
"She was good," Maya said, "She and I got to do a lot of cuddling."
"When we go home, can we do yots of cuddling?" Nora asked around her fingers that were planted firmly in her mouth.
"Of course," Maya nodded, looking over at her wife.
She could tell from the look on Carina's face that it had been a long day and that the Italian was exhausted, Maya immediately feeling guilty for not staying home with them all day. When they got home, they all got out of the car, Nora insisting on holding Maya's hand as they went inside.
"Mommy, can we go pway with our blocks?" Rowan asked.
"Sure," Maya said, "Can I talk to Mamma for just a minute?"
"No," Rowan said, "You have to come right now."
"Patatina, I will be there in just a minute," Maya said, "Why don't you go get the blocks out?"
"I want you Mommy," Rowan said.
"It's fine Maya," Carina said, "Just go play with her."
"Babe," Maya said, seeing the look on Carina's face.
"It's fine," Carina said, "I am going to get everyone something to drink and I'll come play too."
"If you need to go upstairs and have a little break, you can," Maya said, taking a step closer to her wife, "Or if you want to go see Lia, I've got the twins. We might just end up watching movies all afternoon, but I've got them."
"Do you need a nap?" Carina asked, "You look tired, plus your body is still healing after having a baby."
"I am ok for right now," Maya said, "I rested a little with Lia today. You are allowed to rest too."
"Mommy," Rowan said, crossing her arms and stomping her foot, "Come play."
"Hey," Maya said, "That is not how we ask to go play. Can you try again with nicer words?"
"But you are bignoring me," Rowan said, scowl on her face.
"I am sorry I am making you feel ignored," Maya sighed, "I just needed to talk to Mamma for a minute. Now I am listening. Can you ask me again, using nice words?"
"Mommy, can you please come play wif me?" Rowan said.
"Ok," Maya said, walking toward Rowan before looking back at Carina one more time, "Seriously Babe, I've got them right now. You do whatever it is you need to do, ok?"
Carina nodded as Maya followed Rowan out of the room, Nora right behind her as the little brunette hadn't let go of Maya's hand since they got out of the car.
"Sit down Mommy," Rowan said as she sat on the ground next to the bin of blocks.
"Oh, I don't know if I can sit all the way on the ground," Maya said, realizing no part of her body was very much not going to be happy if she tried that, "How about we push the box of blocks over by the couch and we can build a tower on the table?"
"Okay," Rowan said, pushing the bin of blocks across the room and into the other room, "Mommy, yook, I have strong muscles yike you."
"You do," Maya smiled as she sat down on the couch, "You are so strong."
"Noa, do you want to pway blocks too?" Rowan asked as Nora climbed up on the couch next to Maya.
"I just want to cuddle wif Mommy," Nora said, moving closer to Maya as the blonde wrapped her arm around her.
"Where did Mamma go?" Rowan asked, looking around.
"She went upstairs I think," Maya said, "I think she needed a little rest."
"Why?" Nora asked, "Is Mamma sick?"
"No," Maya said, "She's just tired. Sometimes grown-ups just get tired. And it was hard to get a lot of sleep when we were at the hospital."
"Are you tired Mommy?" Rowan asked.
"I am," Maya nodded, "But I am ok."
Just then, Maya heard footsteps coming down the stairs and she was a little confused but she figured Carina had probably just forgotten something until a few minutes later, her wife appeared with a large glass of water and a bowl of fruit.
"I forgot to get you something to drink and eat," Carina said, "Sorry."
"Babe, thank you so much for this," Maya said, "But you did not have to do this. I could have gotten my own water."
"But I know how bad you are at drinking and I didn't want you to forget," Carina said, "And you need to eat too. Do you need anything else? Different clothes or ice or…"
"Carina," Maya said, "Hey. Look at me. I am ok. We are ok down here right now. You can go rest, ok?"
"Mommy said you are sweepy Mamma," Rowan said, "You should go sweep."
"Ok," Carina said with a shaky voice, "Ok. But if you need me, just shout. I probably won't fall asleep."
"Come here," Maya said, motioning for her wife to come closer which the Italian did, Maya quickly pulling her in for a kiss, placing one hand on her cheek and stroking it gently with her thumb, "I appreciate everything you have done over the past few days. Now please, go take some time for yourself, ok? I've got the twins."
Carina nodded, leaning into Maya's touch for a minute before pulling away and going upstairs.
"Mommy?" Nora said once Carina left.
"Yes Nora?" Maya asked.
"Why do you call Mamma Tarina?" Nora asked.
"Because that is her name," Maya said, confused.
"But her name is Mamma," Rowan said, shaking her head.
"No, Mamma is what you two call her, and eventually Lia will too, because she is your mamma, but her name is Carina. Just like your name is Rowan and your name is Nora and my name is Maya."
"Your name is Maya?" Nora said, eyebrows furrowed.
"Yep," Maya said, having not realized the girls had no clue they had names that were not Mommy and Mamma, "My name is Maya. You call me Mommy because I am your mommy, but my name is Maya."
"Dat is strange," Rowan said.
"It is a little bit strange," Maya admitted, "But that is how it works."
The twins just took in this new information for a minute before going back to what they were going before. Maya played blocks with the girls for a while, fighting the urge to just lay down on the couch and pass out from exhaustion.
After about half an hour of blocks, the twins got bored and Rowan decided it was time for her to go get her baby dolls to take care of while Nora went to get books. Just as they were about to start their first story, Carina came back downstairs.
"How are you doing?" she asked as soon as she walked into the living room.
"I am going alright," Maya said, "Rowan is just giving her babies some bottles and Nora and I were about to read a book. How are you? Did you nap?"
"Not really," Carina said, shaking her head, "But I was wondering if it would be ok if I went over to see Lia and I'll be back before bedtime. Or I can wait and go after bedtime too if you want me here."
"You can go Carina," Maya said, "And I can handle bedtime if you want to stay longer. They might not get a bath, but I can get them into bed."
"They had a bath before nap today," Carina said, "They were really sweaty from the park and Rowan was sticky from gelato."
"Perfect," Maya said, "I can throw something in the microwave for dinner or order delivery or something and it will be all good."
"I think Vic is bringing dinner over tonight," Carina said, "Amelia said around like 5:00."
"Oh, even better," Maya said, "I forgot we have amazing friends who feed us all the time. Then I will be more than fine. Go see Trottolina. I'm sure she could do with some Mamma cuddles tonight."
"You mean Tarina cuddles," Rowan said, not looking up from her babies.
"Cosa?" Carina said, looking at the toddler.
"My baby Totoina Yia needs Tarina cuddles," Rowan said as if it were obvious, "Cause that's your name Mamma, Tarina."
"Si," Carina said, "My name is Carina. But I thought you called me Mamma."
"But Maya calls you Tarina," Rowan said. "They were asking why I called you Carina earlier," Maya explained, "And now apparently we are no longer Mommy and Mamma but Maya and Carina."
"But I liked being Mamma," Carina said with a pout.
"You are still my mamma," Nora said, looking up at her with her big brown eyes.
"Your my momma too," Rowan said, "But your name is Tarina."
"Ok Patatina," Carina chuckled, "Now, I am going to go see baby Lia, ok?"
"But you will come back?" Nora said, looking at her with worry in her eyes.
"I will," Carina nodded, "I will try to be back by bedtime, but if I'm not, I promise I will give you a kiss when I come home."
"But I'll miss you," Nora said.
"I know," Carina said, "I will miss you too. But I will come back, ok? You get to be with Mommy."
"Yeah," Maya said, "I am going to stay here with you."
"Otay," Nora said, looking at Maya before looking back at Carina.
"Good," Carina smiled, Ok, Bambina, do you need anything before I go?"
"Can I have a little more water?" Maya asked, "And a bottle. I think I need to express again."
"Of course," Carina said, grabbing Maya's cup and heading into the kitchen to grab the requested items.
Once those were handed to Maya and hugs and kisses were giving all around, Carina headed out to the hospital to be with Lia, leaving Maya and the girls alone.
"Maya, tan we go pway wif paint?" Rowan asked.
"Ro, how about we just keep playing with toys?" Maya said, knowing how messy painting with toddlers was and having no desire or energy to deal with that tonight.
"But I want to play wif paint," Rowan said, crossing her arms. "Maybe we can do paint tomorrow," Maya said.
"No, Tarina said we have to go to daycare tomorrow," Rowan said, "So we tan't do paint then. I want to do it now."
"I'm sorry Rowan, but we can't do paint tonight," Maya said, "I am too tired and it is too messy. Besides, Zia Vic is going to be here soon with dinner."
"And Unca T?" Nora asked.
"I don't know," Maya said, "Mamma only said Zia Vic."
"I want to do painting," Rowan yelled, crossing her arms and stomping her feet.
"Rowan, you know that yelling is not going to get you what you want," Maya said, "Please stop that."
"No," Rowan yelled, reaching out and hitting Maya before stopping, her eyes getting big.
"Rowan, we do not hit," Maya said, desperately trying to keep herself from yelling or breaking down into tears because both seemed like very real possibilities at the moment, "I understand that you are upset, but we do not hit. Do you think you need to take some breaths and calm down?"
"I…I…I'm sorry Mommy," Rowan said, breaking down into full blown sobs as she crumpled down onto the floor into a mess of tears.
"It's ok Rowan," Maya said, wanting nothing more than to pick her up and hold her close, "Do you think you can come up here with me?"
Rowan just remained on the floor sobbing.
"Rowan's sad Mommy," Nora said, looking at Maya.
"I know," Maya sighed, "I know."
Maya knew that if she laid down on the floor with Rowan like every ounce of her body told her to, she would never get up. Instead, she laid down on the couch on her stomach, reaching her arm down and rubbing Rowan's back like that, Nora climbing down off the couch and laid down next to her sister, holding her hand as she cried.
Just as Rowan's tears started to calm, there was a knock at the door.
"I bet that is Zia Vic," Maya said, "Do you guys want to come help me open the door?"
Rowan just shook her head while Nora stood up.
"Ok Ro," Maya said, rubbing her back one more time, "If you want to come join us, you can, ok? But you don't have to."
Maya got off the couch, groaning a little as her body ached before heading to the door, Nora right behind her.
"Hey," Vic said as Maya opened the door, Travis right behind her, "I wasn't expecting you to answer the door."
"Carina is at the hospital with Lia right now," Maya said, stepping aside so they could come in, "So it's just me and the twins right now."
"Unca T," Nora said, throwing herself at Travis.
"Hi Bean," Travis smiled, unable to pick her up because his hands were full. "Where's Rowan?"
Vic asked as Maya took the tray and bag from Travis as Nora pulled him into the other room while Maya and Vic headed to the kitchen.
"She is having a little bit of a hard afternoon," Maya said, "She's laying in the living room."
"How are you doing?" Vic asked, noticing how tired Maya looked.
"It's been a lot," Maya sighed, But I am surviving."
"Do you want us to stay for a little bit?" Vic asked, "We can help with the twins, heat up dinner, and give you a chance to get a little rest?"
"The twins, especially Rowan, are kinda on one tonight," Maya said.
"Luckily, Zia Vic and Unca T love the Bishop-Deluca's even when they are acting a fool," Vic said, smiling at her friend, "I mean, we don't have to stay, but we totally can."
"Maybe for a little bit," Maya said, "If it's ok with the twins."
"Maya," Rowan said as she came into the kitchen just then, her eyes still rimmed with tears.
"Hi Patatina," Maya said, rubbing her back as Rowan attached herself to her leg, "Did you see Zia Vic is here?"
"Maya," Rowan said, burying her head in Maya's leg.
"Do you want to go sit down on the couch?" Maya asked.
"Uppie," Rowan said as she nodded.
"I can't pick you up Patatina, remember?" Maya said, "But maybe if you ask nicely, Zia Vic can."
"No," Rowan said, shaking her head.
"That's ok," Vic said, "Why don't you two go cuddle. Are you ready for dinner soon? I just have to heat up the soup and pierogi?"
"Yeah," Maya said, glancing at her watch and seeing it was already after 5, "Thanks Vic."
"No problem," Vic said, "You go rest."
Maya and Rowan went into the living room, sitting down on the couch as Rowan crawled into Maya's lap.
"Sorry I hitted you Maya," Rowan said, leaning her head on Maya's chest.
"I forgive you Rowan," Maya said, "Do you want to talk about why you hit me?"
"Tetause I wanted to do paint and you said no," Rowan said, sniffling.
"Ok," Maya said, "But I say no to things a lot, and usually, you don't hit me."
"But I was mad," Rowan said.
"I know," Maya said, "But we cannot hit when we are mad. It's just fine to be mad and even say you are mad, but you cannot hurt other people just because you are hurting inside. What else can you do when you get mad instead of hit?"
"I tan say I'm mad," Rowan said, "Or I tan yell?"
"Yelling is ok sometimes," Maya nodded, "You shouldn't yell at people, but you could just yell 'I am so mad right now' out loud. You are right, that might help."
"Or I tan take a deep breaf," Rowan said.
"Those are all great ideas," Maya nodded, "And if you are feeling very mad and like you need to hit something, you can always hit a pillow too. Sometimes hitting a pillow feels really good and the best part is, it doesn't even hurt the pillow."
"Tetause pillows tan't feel anyfing," Rowan said nodding.
"Exactly," Maya nodded, "But people can feel things so we cannot hit people."
Rowan nodded, cuddling into Maya's chest.
"I love you Rowan Andrea," Maya said, kissing the top of her head.
"I love you too Maya Mommy," Rowan said which made Maya smile.
The two of them just sat there together for a while, Nora coming to make sure Maya was still there about every five minutes while she played in the playroom with Travis and her dinosaurs. About twenty minutes after they got there, Vic called that dinner was ready.
Once the twins were seated, Maya looked at Vic and Travis.
"You are more than welcome to stay if you want," she said, "Or you do not have to."
"We can stay," Vic said nodding, "I don't want to eat your food though."
"I promise you we have plenty," Maya said, "Plus, you made this food."
"Well technically, she stole it from her parents," Travis said.
"Shut up," Vic said, shoving him a little as Maya went to sit down at the table with the twins.
"When is Mamma coming home?" Nora asked as she took a bite of her pierogi.
"Remember, she said she might not be home until after you go to sleep," Maya reminded her, "She wants to have some Lia snuggles tonight."
"Why?" Rowan asked.
"Because Mamma misses Lia," Maya said, "Just like she misses you when she's not with you."
"Then she should come home so she doesn't miss me," Rowan said.
"She will," Maya said, "She will be here in the morning when you wake up for sure. And then we are going to take you both to daycare, remember?"
"But I want to be home wif you and Mamma again," Nora sighed.
"I know," Maya said, "But I think you will have lots of fun at daycare with Harper too. I bet everyone has missed you both so much because you haven't been at daycare for a few days."
"It's more fun being wif Maya and Tarina," Rowan said.
"Did she just…?" Vic asked, walking over to the table with her food.
"Yep," Maya said, "That's her new thing today."
"Zia Bic, did you know Mommy's name is Maya?" Rowan asked.
"I did," Vic laughed, "But at work, I usually have to call her Chief Bishop-Deluca."
"Why?" Rowan asked.
"Because she is my boss," Vic said, "And so is Uncle Travis."
"He's the boss too?" Nora said.
"Well, he's my boss at least," Vic said, "He is a lieutenant, but then Tia Andy is the captain which means she is Uncle Travis's boss and then your mommy is the boss of Tia Andy because she is the battalion chief."
"Who is your boss Maya?" Rowan asked, looking at Maya.
"Chief Rodriguez is my boss," Maya said, "You have met him a few times, but you might not remember."
"Is he nice?" Nora asked. "He is very nice," Maya said, "He is a very good boss."
"Have you talked to him about your maternity leave?" Travis asked,
"Like how you are going to work it?"
"No," Maya said, "Things have been too busy. But I took two weeks off when I initially went into labor so I have some time to figure it out. I don't know what I am going to do."
"Whatever you decide, we are here to help as much as we can," Vic said, "With the twins or with food or with Lia. We can help."
"Thanks," Maya said smiling at them. Once dinner was done, Vic insisted that Maya go relax while Travis went to play with the twins who didn't want Maya to go too far but were happy is she just relaxed on the couch while they played Candy Land with Travis. The game went fine until Nora got a car Rowan wanted and the little blonde threw her game piece across the room and kicked the board.
"Rowan Andrea," Maya said, forcing her exhausted and achy body up off the couch to deal with her daughter, "That is not being a good sport or playing nicely. Let's go in the other room ok?"
"No," Rowan said, "I want the card with the chocolate on it. It's mine, not for Noa."
"Rowan, Nora picked that card off the pile," Maya said, "Sometimes you will get the card you want and sometimes you won't. You just have to play and see."
"It was mine," Nora said which only made Rowan angry and she tried to go over and hit her sister but Travis quickly grabbed her before that could happen.
"Let's go upstairs and calm down," Maya said, "Trav, can you carry her for me? I'm not allowed to lift her right now."
"Of course," Travis said, picking up a very mad Rowan who was trying to get out of his arms.
"Rowan," Maya said, "Patatina, you have to calm down. If you kick and move like that, you could hurt Uncle Travis. I know you are mad, but you need to stop kicking. He is just going to bring you upstairs so you and I can talk, ok? Or you can walk, but we are going to go upstairs."
"Unca T carry me," Rowan said, stopping her kicking and wild arms, allowing Travis to bring her upstairs.
"Thanks Travis," Maya said as he brought Rowan into Maya and Carina's room, "If Nora needs me, just bring her up. We will hopefully be back down at some point."
"Ok," Travis said, slipping out of the room so Maya and Rowan were alone.
"Ro, what are you feeling like right now?" Maya asked, "Are you angry or sad or something else?"
"Andry," Rowan said. "Ok," Maya said, "Why are you angry?"
"Tetause I wanted the chocolate one and Noa got it," Rowan said.
"Ok," Maya said, "And I know that is frustrating, but that is how games work sometimes. You cannot have the chocolate one every time. Sometimes Nora will get it and sometimes Uncle Travis will get it and sometimes you will get it. And even though you wanted it and it is ok to be upset you didn't get it, you cannot throw game pieces and try to hurt your sister because it hurts other people, and it ruins the game for everyone even though they were having fun."
"But I wasn't having fun," Rowan said, crossing her arms.
"I know," Maya sighed, "And it is ok to not have fun all the time. And if you aren't having fun, you are allowed to stop playing. You do not have to play if you aren't having fun, but you do not get to ruin it for everyone else. You can go do something else and not play, but you cannot throw things just because the game didn't go how you wanted it too."
"But I wanted the chocolate one," Rowan said, tears in her eyes.
"I know," Maya said, knowing full well that this meltdown had very very little to do with the game, "I know Patatina. And I know it is so so hard to have something happen that you didn't want, but sometimes, that is how things go. And it is perfectly fine to be disappointed, but it is not ok to hurt other people. Just like we talked about earlier, ok?"
Rowan nodded, burying her face in Maya's side as Maya heard little sobs escape the tiny blonde.
"It's ok Ro," Maya sighed, rubbing her back, "I know all of this is so hard. I am right here."
Maya knew that this was not just Rowan being upset about a game. This was the toddler's anxiety rearing its ugly head and making her feel very overwhelmed. She was so much like her mommy in that way, desperate to control situations when she felt like everything was too much and then lash out because she just didn't know what else to do.
It was so hard for Maya to see that trait of hers that she really didn't like come out in her daughter and it made her feel guilty for passing it on to her, but she also knew that she and Carina would help Rowan learn to regulate this and that they would never make her feel shame for feeling these really big feelings.
The hitting and throwing they had to work on stopping, but they were getting there. Rowan stopped crying after a little while, just staying curled up next to Maya.
"Patatina, what do you need?" Maya asked, rubbing her back.
"A hug," Rowan said, moving so Maya could see her.
"Come here," Maya said, pulling her close, "I love you so much Rowan Andrea. So so much."
"Even when I frow toys and hit?" Rowan asked.
"I still love you when you do that," Maya nodded, "I do not love that you do those things, but I still love you. You are not what you do, ok? You will always and forever be my Patatina who I love so much, ok?"
Rowan nodded, cuddling back into Maya for another hug.
"There is something I think you probably should do though," Maya said.
"Say sorry to Noa and Unca T?" Rowan asked.
"I think so," Maya nodded, "Don't you?"
"Si," Rowan said, "Will you come wif me?"
"Of course," Maya nodded. Rowan climbed off the bed, Maya taking a little longer, her body achy and uncomfortable.
"Tome on Maya," Rowan said impatiently.
"Patatina, my body is tired right now," Maya said, "It is sore from having Lia."
"Tetause she comed out of your 'gina?" Rowan asked.
"Yes," Maya said, "And all the muscles around my uterus had to work very hard to get her out and now they are tired."
"But you have strong muscles Maya," Rowan said, giving her a puzzled look.
"I do," Maya said, "But the muscles that are used to have a baby are not the same ones I used when I lift weights or go to work."
"Oh," Rowan said, accepting this explanation, "Now we tan go downstairs?"
"Yep," Maya said, taking Rowan's hand as they went down the steps.
Once they got downstairs, Rowan was much less excited to be there, looking up at Maya.
"You can do it," Maya encouraged, "Just tell Uncle Travis and Nora that you are sorry that you threw the pieces, ok? And ask if they will forgive you."
Rowan nodded timidly and Maya squeezed her hand for reassurance as they walked into the living room where Nora, Travis, and Vic were all playing another game.
"I'm sorry I frowed the pieces and was not pwaying nicely," Rowan said quietly, burying her head in Maya's leg.
"Patatina, you need to say it to them so they can hear you," Maya said, "Come on."
She and Rowan walked over to everyone else and Travis and Vic stopped the game.
"Go ahead Ro," Maya said.
"I'm sorry I frowed the pieces and wasn't pwaying nice," Rowan said again, a little louder.
"What else?" Maya prompted.
"Will you fordiv me?" Rowan asked, looking down.
"Of course," Travis said, smiling, "Thank you for your apology. I forgive you. I know it's hard when you don't get the pieces you want in a game."
"It's okay 'Owan," Nora said, getting up and giving her a hug, "Do you want to pway the squirrel game wif us?"
"Okay," Rowan nodded as Nora took her hand and brought her over to the game, "Mommy, are you going to pway too?"
"How about we let Mommy go lay on the couch?" Vic said, "Or whatever she needs to do."
"I actually need to go express milk for Lia," Maya sighed, looking at the time, "I am just gonna go do it in the kitchen if that's ok?"
"Whatever you need," Travis said, "We will say out of the kitchen."
"Maya makes milk wif her boobies so my baby totoina Yia can get big and strong," Rowan said, looking at Travis and Vic.
Travis turned red while Vic laughed a little bit before smiling at Rowan.
Maya disappeared into the kitchen, finding it frustrating that she was still not making much milk for Lia at all. Once that was done and she got everything cleaned up, it was getting close to bedtime.
She checked her phone, seeing Carina was still at the hospital, the Italian having just sent her a photo of Lia curled up on her chest sound asleep asking if she needed her to come home for bedtime, telling her Lia had just fallen asleep after a fussy evening. Maya assured her wife that she was ok with the twins and to stay with Lia as long as she wanted.
"Okay bambine," Maya said, going into the living room, "It is time to go upstairs and get ready for bed when this game is over."
"But Mamma isn't home," Nora said, scrunching her eyebrows.
"Mamma is going to stay with Lia for a while," Maya said, "Lia wasn't feeling too good and Mamma is helping her feel better."
"Is everything ok?" Vic asked, concerned.
"I think so," Maya said, "Carina just said she was fussy, but she just got her to sleep."
"Do you need our help with bedtime?" Travis asked.
"I think we are good, right girls?" Maya said.
"Si," Rowan said, "Maya tan read books and sing songs."
"Alright," Vic said, nodding, "Well, let us know if you need anything ok? We are off tomorrow too."
"Sounds good," Maya nodded, "Thank you so much for everything."
"Anytime," Travis said as they headed to the door.
Once Travis and Vic left, Maya brought the twins upstairs, helping them brush their teeth.
"Tan we read and sing in your bed?" Nora asked.
"Sure," Maya said, nodding tiredly, "Let's get some books."
It didn't take long for Maya to get the twins settled in her and Carina's bed with her in the middle and one toddler on each side. By the time she was done singing their bedtime songs, she was very well aware that the twins were not going to willingly walk to their beds and she couldn't carry them so she decided to just let them fall asleep and either have Carina move them when she got home or just let them stay all night while she went and slept in the guest room so they could sleep. She was actually thinking that might be the best thing for her to do for the night and the foreseeable future just so she didn't wake Carina up every three hours. She could see her wife was exhausted and didn't want to prevent her from sleeping. Maya allowed her eyes to slip shut as she heard the twins' breathing evening out, unable to fight the exhaustion anymore. She woke up when she heard footsteps around the bedroom, seeing Carina over by the dresser putting on her pajamas.
"Hey," Maya said, carefully moving so she wasn't between the twins anymore while also not waking them up, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"You needed sleep," Carina said as Maya slowly got out of bed and walked over to her, "You look exhausted."
"I'm ok," Maya said as Carina wrapped her arms around her, "How was our little tiny Lia?"
"She was ok," Carina said, "Like I said, she was fussy for a while, but once she fell asleep, she stayed that way luckily."
"Why was she fussy?" Maya asked.
"No one really knows," Carina shrugged, "Because she is a newborn and adjusting to life outside her mommy's cozy belly?"
Maya nodded, hating the idea of Lia being upset at all.
"How were the bambine?" Carina asked, "Are they sleeping here all night?"
"That is up to you," Maya said, "They wanted to read books in here but by the time we were done, they were too tired to walk to bed and I can't carry them so I just left them. You can keep them in here tonight or put them in their bed."
"I will probably put them in their bed," Carina said, "They are getting big and with both of them in here, we will not have a lot of room."
"I'm gonna sleep in the guest room tonight," Maya said, earning her a look from her wife, "I don't want to keep waking you up. I know you were exhausted today and you need your rest."
"Bambina, you know I will not sleep well without you next to me," Carina said, "I want to be here to help you."
"But I don't want you to be miserable," Maya said, "You looked so tired today when you picked me up from the hospital."
"I was," Carina said, "Though part of that was from Miss Rowan who was challenging all morning, yelling being defiant and trying to hit me."
"She did the same thing to me this afternoon," Maya sighed, "And she had a few breakdowns. I think this is all a lot for her."
"Si," Carina nodded, "I know. And I expected them to struggle, but it is a lot to deal with when I am also tired and anxious."
"I'm sorry," Maya sighed, resting her hand on Carina's cheek.
"You did nothing wrong," Carina said, "It just is what is happening right now. We will figure it out. Hopefully once we get them back into their routine, things will get better. I mean, I anticipate tomorrow is going to be rough, but once they readjust, I think it will get better. They do much better with routine and predictability, much like someone else I know."
"They get that from me for sure," Maya nodded before she yawned.
"Ok, you get ready for bed, do your last round of getting milk, whatever else you need to do and I am going to move them and then finish getting ready too so we can go to sleep," Carina said, giving Maya a small kiss before going to transfer the twins into their beds.
Maya got her teeth brushed before grabbing a bottle to express milk for Lia just as Carina came into the bathroom to get ready.
"Have you been getting any more today than you were before?" Carina asked as she pulled out her toothbrush.
"No," Maya sighed, "It's still barely anything. Am I doing something wrong?"
"No," Carina said, shaking her head, "You are doing it exactly right. Sometimes it just takes times. Typically, we say in the first three to five days, but it can take up to two weeks. We can try adding in the pump if you want to see if that helps. And Bambina, if it doesn't work, or if it gets to be too much, it is ok for you to stop. I know you want to breastfeed her, but if it is making you miserable or it is really not working, you do not have to. We can use formula or donor breast milk. Grey Sloan has a milk bank that NICU babies are able to use that we can use for Lia."
"I want to keep trying," Maya sighed, "I just wish it would work. I'll try the pump tomorrow though. Maybe that will help more."
"I have one downstairs whenever you need it," Carina said, "I picked it up from the hospital today because I forgot we should have grabbed it up before you were discharged. It's the same rental system we used when I had the twins."
"Ok," Maya nodded, "Yeah, I'll try it tomorrow morning unless you think it's worth trying tonight."
"No," Carina said, "You are fine for tonight. Once you finish with that, I will take it downstairs and we can go to sleep."
Maya nodded as she continued to work on expressing milk while Carina got ready for bed. Soon enough, both of them were crawling into bed, cuddling close to each other, and hoping for a smoother night.
While it did go better than the previous one, they were both still awake more than they were asleep and not excited when Rowan came in to inform them it was morning. They got up, Carina helping Maya get the breast pump situated before going downstairs to make breakfast. Nora crawled into bed with Maya as the blonde was pumping, just cuddling close to her.
"Are you ready to go to daycare today?" Maya asked as she ran her fingers through Nora's slightly tangled hair.
"I want to stay wif you," Nora said, shaking her head.
"I know," Maya sighed, "But Mamma and I are going to go see Lia today. And then after you take your nap, we will come pick you up, ok?"
"And we tan come home?" Nora asked.
"Yep," Maya said as she pulled the breast pump off, very much not enjoying it but hoping it would help, "Then we can come home and spend time together."
"But I will miss you," Nora said, cuddling back into Maya as the blond got her shirt back on.
"I will miss you too," Maya said, rubbing her back, "But you will have lots of fun a daycare. Harper will be there. And Miss Nicole. And Mamma and I will come back and get you after, ok?"
Nora just held onto Maya, saying nothing.
"Should we go downstairs for breakfast?" Maya asked.
"My tummy hurts," Nora said, shaking her head.
"I bet your tummy is just hungry," Maya said, making a mental note to grab an extra change of clothes for Nora and an emesis bag just in case she threw up when they dropped her off, "If you don't want to eat, that is ok, but I do want you to come downstairs with me, ok?"
Nora nodded, sliding out of bed as Maya carefully got up, taking Nora's hand as they headed downstairs.
"Maya," Rowan said, "Tarina and me maked pantakes wif beenanas and bwuebies."
"Yum," Maya said, "That sounds good."
"Maya, do you want to drink yemonade?" Rowan asked.
"No, I think I want some coffee this morning," Maya said, realizing for the first time since having the baby that the smell of coffee in their kitchen didn't make her feel sick and instead made her crave the dark caffeinated beverage.
"But toffee makes you feel sick," Rowan said, confused.
"Well, it did when I was pregnant," Maya said, "But now, it sounds good again."
"I can make it for you Bambina," Carina said, "I'll just make you a small cup because it's been a long time since you had caffeine and I don't want it to make you feel bad."
"Thank you," Maya smiled, "Oh, lunches. Do you want me to…"
"Already done," Carina said, "You can just go sit and relax."
Maya went over to the table with Nora still at her side, the toddler climbing into her lap. Carina got breakfast on the table, making sure Maya got her stool softener to ensure her body was able to get back to normal soon, all four of them sitting down together and eating breakfast before going to finish getting ready.
Once everyone was ready to go, they got in the car, making sure they had the backpacks for the twins along with Maya's pump and Lia's milk before heading to the hospital.
"My tummy hurts," Nora said as they got to the hospital.
"I know," Maya said as she got out of the car, "Can you take some deep breaths with me?" Nora nodded, following Maya's lead while Carina got Rowan out along with their bags.
"Are you feeling better now Piccola?" Carina asked, coming up behind her wife to help Nora down.
"A yittle bit," Nora nodded.
"It's ok to be worried about being away from Mommy and I," Carina said, picking the toddler up, "But we will come back, ok?"
Nora nodded, clinging to Carina.
"Here, give me the bags," Maya said, taking the girls' backpacks along with Lia's milk, Carina still holding the pump bag.
"This one is heavier," Carina said, "I've got it, ok?"
Maya sighed but nodded, taking Rowan's hand as they headed inside.
"Alright," Carina said as they walked up to the daycare, "Are you two ready?"
"You are going to come pick us up after later?" Rowan said, looking up at Maya and Carina.
"We will," Maya nodded, giving her a hug, "I love you."
"I love you too," Rowan said before looking at Carina "Ti boglio benny."
"Ti voglio bene Patatina," Carina smiled, giving her a hug as well.
"Come on Noa," Rowan said, "I tan hold your hand so you don't have to be scared."
"That's so nice of you Rowan," Maya smiled as she moved closer to Nora and Carina, giving the little brunette a kiss on the cheek, rubbing her back, "I love you Piccola."
"I lub you too," Nora said, tears in her eyes.
"Ti voglio bene," Carina said, giving Nora a tight hug, "You can do this ok? Rowan is with you and Mommy and I will come pick you up later ok? You are such a brave girl." "And it's ok to be nervous, ok?" Maya said, "But you can do it Nora." "Okay," Nora nodded, allowing Carina to set her down as Rowan reached for her hand. "Good job Piccola," Maya smiled as they walked over to the daycare.
"Nora and Rowan," Nicole said, smiling, "We have missed you."
"My baby totoino Yia comed out of Maya's 'gina so she had to be at the hospipal and we went to play wif Harpa," Rowan said.
"I see," Nicole said, holding back a laugh, "How is the baby?"
"She has to stay at the hospipal tetause she is too yittle," Rowan said, "But Maya is making her milk from her boobies so she tan get bigger."
"Rowan," Maya said, her cheeks turning bright red as she listened to this conversation. "What?" Rowan asked, confused.
"Nothing," Carina said, holding Maya's hand, calming her down, "Have fun at daycare today ok bambine? Mommy and I will be back later."
Nora had tears in her eyes, but she held tightly to Rowan's hand and the two of them went into the daycare together.
"We will be down in the NICU if either of them has a problem today," Carina told Nicole as Maya handed her the backpacks, "Rowan has been having some issues with lashing out and tantrums over the past few days and Nora said her tummy hurt this morning, just so you are aware."
"Ok. Thanks. I'll keep an extra eye on them today," Nicole said, "Is everything ok with the newest Bishop-Deluca?"
"Aside from being a preemie with some jaundice, she is doing well," Carina said, "She's just tiny."
"Here," Maya said, pulling out her phone, always ready to show Lia off to anyone.
"Oh my goodness, she is precious," Nicole said, smiling.
"She really is," Maya nodded as she looked at the picture again before putting her phone away.
"Are you two doing alright?" Nicole asked.
"We are getting there," Carina said as she squeezed Maya's hand, "It has been a lot."
"I'm sure," Nicole said, "I have been there at least with having a little one in the NICU, though James was full term. Just a little yellow. If there is anything we can do for you here, just let us know, ok? We will make sure the twins are taken care of."
"Thank you," Maya smiled.
Well, I won't keep you from her anymore," Nicole said, "See you later."
"We told them we would be back after nap time," Maya said.
"Sounds good," Nicole nodded as Maya and Carina walked away.
They headed immediately down to the NICU, both moms very ready to see their little girl. When they got to the NICU, they quickly made their way over to Lia, noticing the lights were no longer on her immediately before her doctor came over to them.
"So overnight we did some routine labs on Lia and we just got those results back and we noticed her hemoglobin level has dropped," Dr. Jax said, "And there are a few things that could be causing it, but her night nurse said she was pretty fussy for you yesterday but then overnight she was sleeping a lot and her vitals were a bit unstable so we have put in for an ultrasound of her head because we are worried she might have an intracranial hemorrhage."
"Wait wait wait," Maya said, looking at the doctor, "You think…you think her brain might be bleeding?"
"That's what we are worried about, yes," Dr. Jax said, "Oh, here is the ultrasound tech now. I don't want you to panic, ok? I know this sounds really scare, but these things happen in preemies often and a lot of the time, they resolve on their own. I have to step away for a minute, but I will be back once we have the ultrasound results and we can talk about what is going on, ok?"
Carina held Maya's hand as the ultrasound tech came over.
"Hello," he said, "I am just going to do a quick ultrasound of her head. It won't hurt her at all, but you can hold her hand if you want, ok?"
Maya and Carina nodded, quickly moving around to the other side of the incubator as the tech took down the wall on his side.
"Ok sweetie," the ultrasound tech said, "I am just going to put some of this gel on your head."
Lia looked a little bit dazed, but she didn't make noise as the tech put the probe on her head.
"It's ok Peanut," Maya said, holding Lia's hand as the tech started going over her brain.
Maya was just looking at Lia until she heard Carina gasp.
"What?" she asked, looking at her wife who had tears in her eyes, "What's wrong?"
"Do you see white area right there?" Carina asked, pointing to the screen as the tech moved it, "Wait, go back." "I need to keep going with the scan," the tech said, looking at her.
"This is my child," Carina almost yelled, "And I am asking you to go back to where it was before."
The tech didn't say anything, just doing what Carina said, more tears filling the Italian's eyes.
"What Carina?" Maya said, feeling the fear fill her body.
"Do you see that white area?" Carina asked, "Now, I know I normally am reading ultrasounds of the abdomen, but that area right there, that is blood. There is some kind of bleeding happening in her brain."
As soon as she said it, Carina let out a sob and Maya felt like her entire body went numb as she replayed her wife's words over in her head. Their baby had a brain bleed.
Don't hate me for the cliffhanger and trust me. Please? What did you think of this chapter? I know it focuses a lot on Maya and I am going to try to give Carina some more attention in the upcoming chapters. I am trying to get these chapters out as fast as I can, but thank you for having patience with me. Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and following and favoriting. It seriously means so much to me!
Also, who's ready for the return of our favorite wee woo show tonight? This had been the freaking longest hiatus. I cannot wait to see how things play out tonight. I'm nervous, but ready to have them back. I'm gonna try to live tweet along with the episode tonight so if you are interested in that I'm on Twitter musicgirl1120.