Over the week, they fell into a routine of taking the twins to daycare, going to the NICU to see Lia, and then being home again with the twins. There were a few days where one of them ended up staying in the NICU around the clock because Lia was fussy and irritable and clearly having belly pain that had her unsettled which thankfully ended up just being an intolerance to the formula they were adding into Maya's breast milk to add calories to Lia's diet and once that was switched and she had a few days to get it out of her system, she went right back to her normal self. Those days had been challenging for the family because the twins were extra clingy since they were down to only having one mom with them.
However, with some facetimes and extra cuddles, they were more ok with things. Lia had another ultrasound of her brain a week after the bleed was first found which showed that it had grown a little bit from the first time they had seen it and was now teetering between being a grade II and a grade III bleed.
When the words grade III bleed had been brought up, Maya immediately noticed how somber Carina got, the blonde immediately asking the doctor what the difference was. He informed them that while most children with a grade II bleed had little to no issues, those with a grade III had a higher likelihood of having long term problems. However, he also assured them that because her bleed was right on the edge, her outcome was likely to be much better but they wouldn't know until she was older.
For the moment, she was doing what she was supposed to do, gaining weight, regulating her temperature more and more every day, her movements were all pretty typical for a preemie.
One thing she was struggling with was coming off her CPAP which they had tried to remove after they got her belly sorted out only for her to have several episodes of apnea and bradycardia while she slept which forced them to put it back on her for a while longer.
It was terrifying to Maya who had been at the NICU alone the first time it had happened for what was going to be her last night staying over at the NICU now that Lia was feeling better, just watching Lia sleep in her incubator when suddenly alarms had started going off and she looked over seeing that Lia's heartrate and oxygen was going down. She had yelled for a nurse who quickly sprang into action, grabbing an ambu bag and starting to bag the tiny baby who woke up during this and started to cry, her vitals quickly stabilizing.
The nurse explained to Maya what had happened and that it was normal in preemies like Lia but it didn't matter to her because even if it was normal, it was terrifying when it was her own baby.
She sat and watched Lia like a hawk the rest of that night, her heart breaking when Lia had two more A and B episodes before they decided she still needed to be on CPAP for a little while longer. Maya struggled seeing the baby go back on the machine, but it was much better than watching her heart rate and oxygen numbers tank.
When Carina had gotten to the hospital the morning after all of this had happened, Maya looked like a disaster, face puffy, tear stains present and dark circles under her eyes as she held the tiny baby on her chest.
The moment she laid eyes on her wife, the blonde had broken down into tears, Carina immediately even more concerned than she was when she saw Lia back on CPAP.
"Bambina, what happened?" Carina asked, trying to hold her close without crushing Lia who was still in Maya's arms.
"Lia stopped breathing last night," Maya said, "More than once and now she's back on CPAP."
"What?" Carina said, "She…she stopped breathing? Why didn't you call?"
"They said it was normal," Maya said, wiping at her eyes, "They said babies can have something called apnea of prematurity that can lead to bradycardia, but it happened three times and then they put her back on CPAP."
Logically, Carina knew this was normal. A and B spells happened all the time in preemies, especially when they first tried to wean them off CPAP. But she felt like logic often flew out the window when it came to her brain and Lia.
"Did you have a rough night Trottolina?" Carina asked, rubbing Lia's back, noticing her wife wincing a little as she readjusted herself a bit, "Bambina, are you ok?"
"My boobs hurt," Maya sighed, rubbing Lia's back, "I'm ok."
"When was the last time you pumped?" Carina asked, looking at her wife.
"Shit," Maya said, "Um, way too long ago."
"Maya, you cannot do that," Carina said, "You are going to give yourself mastitis. Give me Trottolina and you go pump."
"I forgot," Maya said as Carina sat down, "I was too worried about Lia."
"I know," Carina sighed, "But you are going to get sick if you don't take care of yourself. "
"I know that Carina," Maya snapped, rubbing her eyes, when she realized what she had done, "Sorry. I didn't mean to get mad. It was just a long night."
"I know," Carina nodded, "Go pump and then maybe we can talk, ok?"
Maya nodded, grabbing her pump and heading to the nursing mother's room. She got her pump ready, her boobs aching in a way she had never felt before, noticing she had wet spots on her shirt that she had no idea how long they had been there for. She got the pump going, gripping the chair until her knuckles turned white because it hurt so much for the first few minutes. She ended up having to pause the pump to switch out the bottles she had attached to it because they filled up, Maya realizing just how badly her body had needed this.
Once she was sufficiently emptied, she got redressed, pulling a spare shirt out of her pumping bag, changing the wet one before putting labels on the bottles to give to the nurses. She headed back to the NICU, finding Lia's nurse and giving her the milk before going back over to her wife and daughter.
"That was so painful," Maya said, sitting back down.
"That is what happens when you don't pump," Carina said, raising an eyebrow at her wife, "Are you ok? Do you have any signs of infection? Are you running a fever or anything?"
"No," Maya said, "I mean, they let me in the NICU right? I am not feverish. I would be lying if I said I felt amazing, but I think that is more the anxiety and sheer lack of sleep and being not even two weeks postpartum."
"Ok," Carina said, "But if you start to feel sick, you need to say something. Mastitis can start quickly and get very serious very quickly."
"I promise I will tell you," Maya nodded, reaching over and rubbing Lia's back a little as the baby squirmed, "How were the twins last night?"
"Nora ended up in bed with me around 1 am," Carina said, "And Rowan at 4, but they were better. Nora didn't even complain about her tummy hurting before daycare today which feels like progress. She still cried, but I promised her we would both be home tonight as long as Lia wasn't feeling sick."
"Which she has seemed ok," Maya said, "I mean, aside from not breathing which the CPAP fixed, she wasn't fussy or anything last night other than when we had to change her diaper. I think the new formula is helping."
"Si," Carina said, "She seemed better yesterday too. Hopefully we are at the end of her belly problems."
"I'm glad it was just the formula," Maya said, knowing there had been some worries Lia had necrotizing colitis which would have been a much bigger problem. A little formula switch was very easy.
"Are you still ok with me going back to work in two days?" Carina asked, looking over at her wife.
"Yeah," Maya said, "I mean, I think so. Lia is doing better and so are the twins and I want you to be able to have time off when she comes home."
"Ok," Carina nodded, "I wish I could stay home with you now and again when she comes home."
"I do too," Maya said with a sigh.
Carina's family leave was only for 12 weeks though and she had already taken 2 of those since Lia had been born, and while it would be nice to just have her home the entire time Lia was in the hospital, both Maya and Carina wanted to make sure Lia was able to be at home for as long as possible after coming home from the NICU before she had to start daycare. Carina also wanted time to be home when Lia was released from the NICU to help the family adjust to all five of them being under one roof.
The current plan was that Carina would return to work in two days and then work until Lia was released. Then she would take two more weeks off to help get things settled while Maya continued with her family leave which at this point was planned to be a four month leave of absence with the option to extend it to six months depending on Lia's condition.
Once Maya went back, Carina would take the remaining 8 weeks of her leave to be home with Lia and then it would be time for the baby to start daycare around the time she was 6-8 months old. The mere thought of dropping the baby off at daycare made Maya want to sob in a corner for hours, but she knew they were still months from that considering Lia wasn't even quite 2 weeks old yet.
Just then, Jenna and Dr. Jax came over, Maya immediately feeling herself tense up.
"There is nothing bad happening," Dr. Jax said, "Actually, it's the opposite of bad. I know Miss Lia had a bit of a rough night last night, but she seems to be better now, and I think that it is time to potentially start introducing oral feedings."
"Wait, like a bottle?" Maya asked.
"Or breast," Dr. Jax said, "Depending on what you prefer. She will still have the tube in for quite a while we anticipate, but she is old enough to start attempting and has been working on the pacifier so I know so it's probably time to get her introduced to food that way too. Jenna here, on top of being one of our best NICU nurses, is also a certified lactation consultant so she can help get that process started if you are interested in breastfeeding."
"Yes please," Maya said, nodding, "I mean, I just pumped so will she even be able to get anything?"
"Probably not," Jenna said, "But even if you hadn't just pumped, she likely wouldn't get anything anyway. These early weeks, before a baby is 35-36 weeks' gestation, it's just kinda just practice. Some of them will latch earlier and start eating, but often, it takes a while for their mouths to figure out the motion even."
"Did you have any more questions for me?" Dr. Jax asked, looking at Maya and Carina.
"When are we going to do her next trial off CPAP?" Carina asked.
"We typically like to wait at least forty-eight hours between trials," Dr. Jax said, "Just to give them a bit of time."
"Do you think it would be possible to do it more during the day this time?" Maya asked, "I mean, I want to be here with her when it happens, but we also have to be home with the twins at night."
"We can do it during the day," Dr. Jax nodded, "For sure. I'll put a note in her chart, but I will plan to start the trial in the morning two days from now."
"Ok," Maya nodded, looking at Carina.
"That will be my first day back at work," Carina said, biting her lip.
"Maybe you can come down here when you have breaks?" Maya said, really wishing her wife would be there with them for the next attempt to take Lia off CPAP, especially after last night.
"Si," Carina nodded, "And maybe I can come down here to do my charting too. I'll try to be here when I can be."
"Ok," Dr. Jax said, "I will plan to start her next trial off CPAP in 48 hours from now. Any other questions?"
"I don't think so," Maya said as Carina shook her head.
"Alright," Dr. Jax said, "Feel free to have them page me if you need me. And good luck with feeding. I'll be by later to check in."
"Ok," Jenna said, looking at Maya and Carina, "Now, did you want to try breastfeeding or bottle feeding first?"
"Um, well, I really was hoping to be able to breast feed her," Maya said, biting her lip, "Do you think it will be possible?"
"I think so," Jenna said, "I mean, every baby is different, but we can try. And I brough some nipple shields too that we can try if she is struggling because sometimes preemies need a bit of a smaller nipple to be able to properly start to suck. Now, let's get you in position."
"Do you want Lia?" Carina asked, getting ready to hand the baby over to her wife.
"Not quite yet," Jenna said, "Let me get Maya all set up first."
It took a minute, but Jenna got Maya set up with a boppy pillow, making sure she was comfortable before Carina brought Lia over, Jenna helping Maya get the baby positioned just right before Maya carefully guided her nipple near the baby's tiny mouth, Lia opening her lips and taking the nipple into her mouth.
"Oh," Maya said, "I think…I mean, it doesn't feel like she's sucking to get anything out, but it feels like something."
"She is kinda suckling," Jenna said, helping Maya reposition Lia a bit more.
"You are doing an amazing job Bambina," Carina said, standing behind Maya so she could see Lia as well, rubbing Maya's shoulder gently.
After about thirty seconds, Lia let go, stopping her suckling motion with her mouth as she yawned.
"That was excellent," Jenna said, "I don't think she got any milk, but she did get some kind of latch. How did it feel?"
"Weird," Maya said, tears rolling down her cheeks, "But good weird. I don't know. I've never done this before."
"You did an amazing job Bambina," Carina said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Maya's cheek, "I am so proud of you. You really got her to latch. And I am proud of you too Trottolina. You did such a good job. You should be so proud of yourself."
"Did you want to try again?" Jenna asked, looking at Maya.
"Only if Lia does," Maya said, not wanting to push anything.
"Hey little lady," Jenna said, looking at Lia, "Do you want to try again? Come on. Let's try to do a little more sucking ok?"
Lia let out a little cry, Jenna using this opportunity to help Maya guide Lia's mouth back to her breast, Lia closing her tiny lips around it again, face looking a bit stunned for a moment before she started gently sucking again.
"Good job Peanut," Maya said, smiling down at the baby, "You are doing such a good job."
Lia stayed attached for a good thirty seconds before turning her head away again.
"That was really good work," Jenna said, "I will be her nurse any time I am on shift so I can help you with feeding whenever you want, but you are also welcomed to try whenever she seems interested. Over the next couple days, we are going to line up her feedings with attempts at breastfeeding or bottle feeding to get her associating feeling full with those things and hopefully get her making some progress. Do you have any questions?"
"I don't think so," Maya said, Carina taking Lia back so Maya could get covered back up.
"Ok," Jenna said, "Well, if you do, just let me know. I'm here until 7 tonight."
"Bambina, how was that?" Carina asked as she sat back down, tucking Lia into her shirt as the tiny baby settled again.
"Weird," Maya said, "I always thought I wanted to be able to breastfeed her, but I never thought about how it would feel. But I don't think she was getting anything out, she was just kinda suckling a little. It was strange."
"It probably will be for a while," Carina nodded, "I know I thought it was when I wad breastfeeding the twins for a while. Then it just became normal."
"Do you think she will actually figure it out?" Maya asked, reaching over and rubbing Lia's back, "Like do you think she will properly latch and suck?"
"Non lo so," Carina said, shrugging, "I hope so, but it is hard with NICU babies. And she will likely be bottle fed at least some of the time here too because you cannot be here around the clock so they will give her bottles in the middle of the night, which will be good because then when she is home, I can help with the middle of the night feeds so you are not exhausted all the time."
"I can't believe she is already almost two weeks old," Maya sighed, "And yet she's still not even supposed to be here for another two months."
"Lo so," Carina said, looking down at Lia who was now sleeping on her chest, "Is it just me or does it look like maybe she is starting to get some hair?"
"I was kinda thinking the same thing," Maya said, nodding, "But not a lot of it. And it's so light. I think we might have another little blonde baby."
"Maybe," Carina nodded, "We have to wait for it to get longer to know."
"Will it bother you if another one of our kids has blonde hair?" Maya asked, looking at her wife.
"Not at all," Carina said, "I love your hair and I love that Rowan has it and I would love if Lia did too. But I really don't care what color her hair is. She could be bald for all I care and she would still be one of the four most beautiful people I have ever met along with her mommy and sisters."
"Stop," Maya said, rolling her eyes as she let out a big yawn.
"Bambina, you need to sleep," Carina sighed, looking over and seeing just how dark the circles under her wife's eyes truly were, "I have Lia if you want to run home and take a nap."
"No," Maya said, "No, I am ok. I want to be here with her right now. I might close my eyes in this chair though."
"You could go up to my office," Carina offered, really wanting her wife to take care of herself and get some rest.
"I'm ok here," Maya said, "I want to be close."
"Ok," Carina sighed, "Just close your eyes ok?"
Maya nodded, curling herself into the chair a little bit before letting her eyes close. The rest of the day was relatively calm, Maya and Carina just hanging out with Lia, Carina forcing her wife to eat when she realized she hadn't eaten anything in close to 24 hours.
Around 3 pm, they got Lia settled back in her incubator before saying goodnight to her, this time feeling harder than all the other times because one of them had been with her 24 hours a day for the past few days.
Andrew was going at 7 to spend a few hours with her so they knew she wasn't going to be alone all night, but it was still hard. They headed up to the daycare, going to get the twins.
As soon as Nora saw Maya, she bolted straight into her legs, almost knocking the blonde over as she hugged her.
"Mommy," the toddler said, "I misseded you."
"I missed you too Piccola," Maya said, smiling at her.
"Uppie," Nora said, reaching for Maya to pick her up.
"I can't pick you up right now remember?" Maya said, "My body is still healing from having Lia. But I promise as soon as we get home, I will cuddle with you on the couch ok?"
"Fine," Nora sighed as Rowan also came out of the daycare.
"Maya," the little blonde said, running over to her, "Did you see my baby Totoina Yia?"
"I did," Maya nodded, "And she said to tell you hi."
"Maya, she can't talk," Rowan said, shaking her head, "She's dust a baby."
"I know," Maya said, smiling at the very serious look on the toddler's face, "I'm just pretending. Should we go home?"
"Wif you and Mamma?" Nora said, looking over at Carina.
"Si," Carina nodded, "With both of us tonight. Lia is feeling better so she is going to stay here and hang out with the nurses and Zio Andrea tonight and all four of us get to be home together."
"My baby Totoina Yia's tummy doesn't hurt nanymore?" Rowan asked.
"Nope," Maya said, "Her tummy is feeling much better."
"That's good," Rowan said, "I don't yike when she is sad."
"I don't either," Carina agreed as Maya nodded, "But she is feeling much better today."
"Did you take a picta?" Rowan asked, always wanting to see photos of Lia.
"I did," Carina nodded, "And I will show you when we are in the car, ok?"
"Fine," Rowan grumbled as they walked out of the hospital, Maya and Carina realizing it was pouring rain.
"I'll go grab the car and pull it up," Carina said, "You three stay here."
Normally, Maya would insist she do it, but she knew that she was too exhausted to be driving this afternoon. Plus, the twins were basically attached to her at this point and she didn't want to cause any issues with them. She stood in the entryway to the hospital as Carina darted over to the car.
"Why is it raining Mommy?" Nora asked, looking up at her.
"Because sometimes the clouds get too heavy with moisture and it has to rain," Maya said, hoping that was enough of an explanation for the three-year-old because she didn't know a ton about the weather.
"How does the water get up there?" Rowan asked, looking up at the sky.
"Well, when it gets hot, the water from the lakes and ponds and oceans and other places evaporates and goes up into the sky to create the clouds," Maya said.
"Oh," Rowan said, still watching the sky.
Carina pulled up with the car just then, Maya and the twins running out to the car, Carina getting out to help with buckles.
"I want to do it myself," Rowan said as Maya tried to get her buckled done.
"Patatina, not today, ok?" Maya said, reaching for the buckle, "It's raining and I am getting all wet and I want to get in the car and I want to make sure your buckles are right so you are safe. Please let me do it."
"No," Rowan said, trying to take the buckled out of Maya's hand, "No, I want to do it. I want to."
"Rowan Andrea, I said no," Maya said firmly.
She tried to wrestle the buckle on as Rowan started kicking her feet, reaching out her hand and swinging at Maya.
"Rowan," Maya said as the little hand hit her face, getting her eye in the process, "We do not hit. Now stop fighting me and let me get you buckled."
"No," Rowan cried as Maya grabbed the buckles again, trying to get them done as she was getting pelted with rain.
"Rowan, hey, take a breath please," Carina said from where she was sitting in the driver's seat, "Let Mommy buckle you. You can unbuckle when we get home. We need you to be safe."
"I want to do it," Rowan said, calming down a little bit.
"You can do it at home," Maya said, getting the last buckle down, tightening it before getting in the car, now thoroughly soaked through, her eye still closed from where Rowan had hit her.
"Are you ok Bambina?" Carina asked, looking over at her wife.
"I will be," Maya said, trying to open her eye only to have it burn and she snapped it shut again, "Let's just go home."
Rowan was still fussing in the back seat and Carina decided just to drive them home without any more conversations. Things in the car felt tense and she knew they all needed to be home. It didn't take long for them to get home, Carina pulling into the garage, very happy to be there.
She and Maya both got out of the car, Carina going to Rowan's side of the car while Maya helped Nora with her buckles, getting her out while Carina waited for Rowan to get hers undone. It took a while for Rowan to get it, Carina stopping the toddler before she got out of the car.
"Rowan, I think you need to go tell Mommy you are sorry," Carina said.
"I wanted to do it," Rowan said stubbornly, crossing her arms and furrowing her brow in a way that reminded Carina so so much of her wife.
"I know," Carina said, "And you know that Mommy and I let you do it most of the time, but it was raining and Mommy was getting very wet. Sometimes, it is important to think about how other people are feeling and not just what we want. And hitting is never ever ok. You hurt Mommy's eye."
"I hurt Mommy?" Rowan said, looking up at Carina with tears forming in her eyes.
"You hit her in her eye," Carina said, clocking that Rowan had just called Maya Mommy for the first time in weeks but choosing not to say anything, "You cannot be hitting. I know you get mad, but you can't hit. It hurts other people."
"I hurt Mommy," Rowan said, tears running down her cheeks, Carina pulling her into her arms as the little blonde cried.
"You did hurt Mommy," Carina said, "But I think if you go say sorry to her, it will help her feel better. Should we go find her and say sorry and make sure she is ok?"
Rowan nodded against Carina's neck, the Italian making her way inside. She was grateful that the four of them were home together tonight, but with emotions already running this high, she knew it was likely going to be a long night.
She brought Rowan into the house, slipping off their shoes before venturing further to find her wife and oldest daughter. She didn't see them on the first floor so she headed upstairs, knowing that Maya was wet and likely wanted to change her clothes. She walked into the bathroom finding Maya standing there half-dressed trying desperately to convince Nora to leave her own clothes on.
"But I want you Mommy," Nora cried.
"I am just going to take a super-fast shower and then I will come cuddle on the couch for the rest of the day," Maya said, turning and seeing Carina and Rowan walking into the bathroom, her left eye still shut, "Hey."
"Hi," Carina said, "Nora, let's let Mommy take a shower ok? She didn't get to take one today because she was at the hospital with Lia last night and I bet she probably would like one."
"Me too," Nora insisted, trying to take off her shirt.
"No Piccola," Carina said, "Let's let Mommy shower alone. It will only be a few minutes and we can go pick a movie and get a snack."
"But I want Mommy," Nora said, big tears welling up in her eyes.
"Nora, I'm not going anywhere," Maya said, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub, the little brunette running into her arms, "I am just going to shower so I am less stinky and then I will be right now."
"I can even set a timer on my phone," Carina offered, knowing Nora did pretty well with using a timer for things thanks to a tactic they used at daycare to help mitigate fights over toys, "And when it's done, Mommy will be done."
"That sounds like a great idea," Maya nodded, offering Carina a half-smile, "What do you say Nora?"
"But only a yittle timer?" Nora said, looking up at Maya.
"Only a little timer," Maya agreed, "I don't even need to wash my hair today. I won't be long."
"Okay," Nora conceded, nodding a little.
"Good," Maya said, giving the toddler a hug, "I promise I won't be a long time."
"Mommy, did I hurt you?" Rowan asked suddenly, drawing Maya's attention, the older blonde realizing that Rowan had just called her mommy again.
"You did a little bit," Maya said, standing up and walking over to Carina and Rowan, Nora still attached to her leg, "When you hit me, it hurt my eye. And it also made me feel sad because I don't like when you hit."
"I'm sorry," Rowan said, reaching over to give Maya a hug, Carina making sure she was still holding the toddler as her two favorite blondes embraced.
"I forgive you," Maya said, "I know you were feeling frustrated and that is hard, but hitting is never a good choice, ok?"
"Lo so," Rowan sniffled, looking down at the ground.
"I'm not mad at you Rowan," Maya said, "I don't like that you hit me and that made me upset, but I am not mad at you. But Patatina, we have to stop with the hitting ok? Hands are never for hurting."
"I know," Rowan said, wiping at her tears, "I'm sorry."
"I forgive you," Maya said again, kissing the top of Rowan's head, "I love you Rowan."
"I love you Mommy," Rowan said, reaching out for another hug.
That lasted another few seconds before Rowan pulled away.
"How about you two go to your room and find your best cuddling blankets?" Carina said, hoping to steal a moment or two alone with Maya, "And then meet me downstairs on the couch?"
"I want Mommy," Nora whined, shaking her head as she put her fingers in her mouth.
"I'll start the timer for you," Carina said, pulling out her phone and setting a fifteen-minute timer, "But that means you have to leave Mommy alone for these minutes so she can shower ok?"
"Come on Noa," Rowan said, "Yet's go get the best bwankies."
Nora followed Rowan out of the bathroom as Carina walked a little closer to her wife.
"How is your eye?" Carina asked.
"It hurts like hell," Maya sighed, "I'm kinda worried she scratched it."
"I can see if someone can come over and look at it," Carina said as she put a hand on Maya's forehead while using the other one to help her wife open her eye which was red and teary.
"It hurts," Maya said, snapping it back closed after a few seconds, "It's like when I have gotten corneal abrasions before at work."
"I'll text Teddy and see if she can stop by at some point this evening with better equipment to look at it," Carina sighed, "I'm sorry she got you."
"I know I could have let her do it, but it was raining and I just wanted to get home," Maya sighed.
"No, you explained that to her and she should have listened," Carina said, "She knows she can't always do her own buckles. And she really cannot be hitting. But what has happened happened. Hopefully we can get your eye feeling better."
Maya nodded, shivering a little.
"Go shower," Carina said, "I'll keep the bambine entertained until you are done."
"I won't be long," Maya said, "I just want to warm up and clean up a bit. I feel gross after a night in the NICU, especially one as stressful as last night."
"Take your time," Carina said, "I can make the timer longer if you want."
"No," Maya said, "That's ok. I'll be done soon. Now you better go before the twins come looking for you because I don't think Nora is going to willingly leave this bathroom again."
"Ok," Carina said, giving Maya a quick peck on the lips before leaving her wife alone to shower.
Maya enjoyed the few minutes of quiet in the shower, allowing the hot water to wash away some of the stress from the day, her eye remaining shut the entire time.
Once she finished getting cleaned up, she got out of the shower, putting lotion on her body before pulling on some clean pajamas and heading downstairs. Just as her feet hit the last step, she heard the alarm going off on Carina's phone, quickening her pace just a touch so she rounded the corner just as Carina was telling the twins she would be down soon.
"I'm right here," Maya said, the girls both smiling as they ran toward her.
"Maya, we makeded fruit to eat," Rowan said, Maya rolling her good eye hearing the toddler was once again calling her by her name.
"Yeah, drapes and strawbies and pineappos," Nora said, "Come sit down."
"Ok," Maya said, laughing as the toddlers pulled her to the couch.
She sat down, both girls quickly crawling up next to her.
"Do you need anything Bambina?" Carina asked.
"Just for you to sit down with us," Maya said, smiling at her.
The four of them spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch, cuddling and enjoying movies, the girls only getting off Maya's lap when she had to pump. Carina pulled out leftovers from the past few nights for dinner, having told their friends they were good on food for the night.
After dinner, there was a little more snuggling on the couch before they started their typical bath and bedtime routine, Carina taking over the reading because of Maya's eye which was still bothering her a lot, but she did manage to get it to open more as the evening went on. It was still sore and she was glad that Teddy was coming over to look at it because she was starting to worry there was actually something wrong.
They had just gotten the twins down for the night when Carina's phone pinged, alerting her that Teddy was at the door.
"Hey," the cardio surgeon said as Carina opened the door.
"Thank you for coming," Carina said as Maya walked over next to her.
"Yeah, seriously," Maya said, "Unless I am holding my baby, I do not want to be at the hospital any more for a long time."
"Understandable," Teddy said, "I brought the dye and one of the portable slit lamps we use in the ED. Now, let's go see what is going on. What happened?"
"Rowan was having a bit of a rough moment and her thing lately has been hitting when she is upset lately and she got my eye," Maya sighed.
"Ah," Teddy said, "We went through a phase like that with Leo except it was biting which I guess kept our eyes safe at least."
"I would much rather her be hitting than biting," Carina said, shaking her head, "At least with the hitting, she's not breaking skin."
"Very true," Teddy said, "Now, Maya, just take a seat on the couch. Carina, can you grab some tissues or a washcloth or something?"
"Si," Carina nodded as Maya sat down.
"How are things going with Lia?" Teddy asked as she unpacked the slit lamp from the bag she brought it in.
"Ok," Maya said, "We tried to get her off CPAP last night and that did not go well so she's back on it. But she got to start trying to attempt to breastfeed today which was exciting. Overall, she's doing well. Her weight gain was a little slow but today she was three and a half pounds which means she's almost put on a pound since she was born. She's got a long way to go, but she's doing well for now."
"That's awesome," Teddy said, "I'm sure the apnea will clear up before long. How many weeks gestation is she now?"
"She will be 33 weeks tomorrow," Carina said, coming back in with a tissue in her hand, giving it to her wife.
"Alright," Teddy said, grabbing the eyedrops, "I just have to put two of these in your eye, let them sit for a few minutes, and then I can see what's going on. I think it's probably just an abrasion and if that's the case, I already have the antibiotic drops for it."
"Thanks," Maya said, tipping her head back, letting Teddy put in the two drops of stain into her eye, "This is not the first time this has happened. I mean, it's the first time it's happened from my kid, but I have gotten these from work before."
"I'm sure," Teddy said, "Corneal abrasions were so common when I was in Iraq. Though there we would just kinda irrigate and hope for the best unless it got infected because we were short on supplies."
"I am glad we live here with abundant antibiotics," Carina said, shaking her head.
"Same," Teddy said, "Ok, now Maya, let's check out that eye. Carina, can you cut the lights in this room?"
"Si," Carina said, getting up and turning off the lights, giving Teddy the darkness she needed to be able to see Maya's eye properly.
"Oh, yeah, you've got a corneal abrasion," Teddy said, "It doesn't look huge, but it's there for sure. I'm gonna give you the antibiotic drops to use for the next three to four days and if it gets swollen or anything, go get seen, but I think you should be just fine."
"Thank you Teddy," Maya said, taking the box of drops from the cardio surgeon.
"Of course," Teddy said, "You have spent enough time at Grey Sloan in the past year and a half. I am happy to make a house call to save you another trip down there. Do you need anything else?"
"I don't think so," Carina said as Maya shook her head with a yawn.
"Looks like someone needs to go to bed," Teddy said, laughing.
"I haven't slept in like 40 hours," Maya said, glancing at the clock, "I was at the NICU last night, and normally I try to sleep if I'm there in the middle of the night, but Lia had three apnea spells and it was a lot."
"Go get some rest," Teddy said sympathetically, "I hope you can actually sleep tonight."
"I will make sure she does," Carina said, wrapping her wife in a hug, "Grazie Teddy."
"Any time," Teddy said, "I am never opposed to a house call for a friend. I'm glad this was an easy thing. If you guys need anything else, just let me know, ok?"
"Thanks Teddy," Maya said as Carina got up off the couch, the blonde reaching out for help which the Italian happily gave her.
They walked Teddy out before Maya grabbed her pump and headed upstairs. The newest addition to their bedroom was a minifridge that they had decided to get to store the milk Maya was pumping in the middle of the night in hopes that maybe it would make it a bit easier which it had on nights Maya was home.
"Bambina, you really need to try to sleep tonight," Carina said as they got ready for bed, "You are wearing yourself so thin and I am getting worried about you."
"I know," Maya said, "I will. I promise. But I do have to pump in the middle of the night at least once or twice."
"Lo so," Carina said as she washed her face, "But other than that, sleep. If the twins come in here in the middle of the night, I will take them down the hall to the guest room because you need rest."
"No," Maya said, shaking her head, "No, I'll be ok. I sleep better when you are in here. Please don't sleep down the hall."
"Fine," Carina said, "But if you don't sleep well tonight, we are revisiting this conversation tomorrow."
"Alright," Maya said with a yawn, "Can we call Andrew to say goodnight to Lia before we sleep? Or before I sleep. You don't have to go to bed now."
"No, I am also tired," Carina said, "But si, we can call Andrea. Why don't you go pump while I finish getting ready and then we can call."
Maya nodded, getting her pump together before hooking it up. As it was running, she grabbed the eyedrops from Teddy, carefully putting them into her eye, hoping these would help her not end up with any kind of eye infection. She just about fell asleep pumping, the hum of the machine very calming. However, her eyes popped back open when Carina sat down on the bed.
"You can sleep Bambina," Carina said.
"No, I want to call Andrew," Maya said, shaking her head, "I'm done pumping so now we can call. I need to sing her her song."
Since Lia had been born, Maya had gotten into the habit of singing her the same song every time she was trying to calm her down and every night before bed which was Here Comes the Sun.
The twins also each had their own songs Maya would sing to them, Let it Be for Nora and Hey Jude for Rowan. Carina also had special songs that she would sing to the girls in Italian. It was something that both of them had felt helped them bond with the twins individually when they were babies and also made sure that the girls were treated as two different people, which was never hard for them, but it was something they were very intentional about at the beginning.
Carina grabbed her phone, calling Andrea.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite sister and sister-in-law," Andrew said as he answered the phone.
"Ciao Andrea," Carina said, "How have things been tonight?"
"Oh, they have been great, right Lia?" Andrew said, moving the phone so both moms could see Lia cuddled on Andrew's chest doing some skin-to-skin, her little eyes open.
"Hi Peanut," Maya said, smiling as she looked at the baby.
"Ciao Trottolina," Carina said, "Are you enjoying your time with your Zio?"
"She always does right Lia?" Andrew said, "We talk about all the hospital gossip and she gives me advice on upcoming surgeries. You guys have a very smart kid here."
"We know," Maya said, smiling before she yawned.
"This is probably going to be a short call tonight," Carina said, "Maya is very tired. Bambina, why don't you sing to her and then you can rest."
Maya was tempted to argue, but she could feel her good eye even starting to burn so she nodded and started her song. When she was done, she leaned her head on her wife's shoulder while Carina sang as well.
"I think Lia likes it when you guys sing," Andrew said, "She's pretty much asleep now."
"So is her mommy," Carina said, panning the phone a little so Andrew could see Maya sound asleep on her shoulder, "Maya had a long few days with Trottolina."
"Hopefully she can get some rest tonight so she can enjoy tomorrow," Andrew said.
"I know," Carina said, "I honestly doubt she even remembered tomorrow is her birthday. She has been so focused on Lia lately. I mean, we both have. This is all so hard."
"I know," Andrew said, "I wish there was something I could do to get her home faster."
"You are doing so much for us," Carina said, "Truly, knowing you are there with her helps so much more than I can tell you. Both of us are able to be here and sleep and be with the twins tonight because of it so thank you."
"Of course," Andrew said, "I love my nieces and my sisters so much."
"We love you too," Carina said, "I am going to go to sleep now too if that's ok. The twins haven't been sleeping well and Lia has needed us a lot more in the past week so I am exhausted. Plus, I want to be able to give Maya a good birthday tomorrow."
"Go sleep," Andrew said, "I've got little tiny Lia for the next few hours. Buona notte Carina."
"Buona notte Andrea," Carina said, "Grazie."
Carina hung up, carefully getting both herself and her wife laying down before pulling the blonde close and allowing her eyes to slip shut, mentally going through how things were going to go the following day.
The night went shockingly well. Maya got up twice to pump, but after the second time, she went back to sleep and stayed that way, even sleeping through Nora crawling into their bed around 4 am.
When Carina woke up at 7, she was a little bit surprised to see her wife still asleep, but she also knew that Maya had been running on almost no sleep for the past week. Nora was also still in their bed, cuddled up between her moms. Carina was just starting to think about getting up and going to make breakfast when she heard little feet running and suddenly Rowan appeared next to her, her blonde hair a mess from sleep.
"Gingourno Tarina," Rowan said, smiling at her.
"Buongiorno Patatina," Carina said, "Do you remember what dat it is today?"
"Maya's birfday," Rowan said, "Can we tell her happy birfday today?"
"Si," Carina nodded.
The Italian had told the twins yesterday when she had put them to bed, having not wanted them bothering her about it all day.
"Maya," Rowan said, pulling herself up onto the bed, Carina trying and failing to shush her.
"Oh, good morning Patatina," Maya said, going to rub her eye only to remember the abrasion and stopping short.
"Happy birfday Maya," Rowan said, bouncing across the bed, waking up Nora in the process as Carina sighed.
"What?" Maya said, confused, "It's not my birthday?"
"Tarina said it is," Rowan frowned looking over at Carina.
"It is Bambina," Carina nodded, showing Maya her phone with the date on it, "Buon compleanno."
"How…?" Maya said, "Is it really?"
"It really is," Carina nodded, leaning over and giving her wife a kiss, "Now, I was thinking French toast for breakfast?"
"That sounds amazing," Maya nodded.
"I will go get started on it," Carina said, "How is your eye feeling?"
"Better," Maya said, "It still hurts, but it's not as bad as yesterday."
"I hurt your eye?" Rowan said, looking at Maya with big tears starting to form in her eyes.
"Hey, it's ok," Maya said, pulling the toddler close, "My eye is ok. It just has a little scratch. It will be all better in just a few days."
Rowan give Maya a hug, the older blonde rubbing her back gently.
"I love you Rowan Andrea," Maya said, kissing the top of her head.
"Mommy," Nora said, fingers still in her mouth, blankie in her hands as she moved closer to Maya.
"I love you too Elenora Mason," Maya said, wrapping her arm around her.
"Why don't you three snuggle up here and I will go make breakfast?" Carina said, moving to get out of bed.
"We can come help," Maya said.
"No," Carina said, "You snuggle. I had my snuggle morning yesterday. You three stay up here as long as you want and then come down whenever you are ready ok?"
"Ok," Maya nodded, the twins still clinging to her.
After a few more minutes of snuggles, Maya realized she needed to pump, convincing the twins to move so she was able to do that, Rowan watching in fascination the entire time while Nora just curled into Maya's side, sucking her fingers and rubbing her blankie against her cheeks.
"Maya, is that milk for my baby Totoina Yia?" Rowan asked, looking up at Maya.
"It is," Maya said, "It will go in the tube and then into her stomach so she can get strong."
"But when can she have a bottle like baby Maverick?" Rowan asked.
"Hopefully one day," Maya said, "But she is still too little to do it. The muscles in her mouth have to get stronger first."
"When can we go see her again?" Rowan asked.
This had been something Rowan had been asking quite a bit over the past week, but with how fussy and uncomfortable Lia had been, Maya and Carina had been putting off taking them back to the NICU.
"Let's talk to Mamma and see what she says," Maya said as she disconnected the pump.
"Mommy, are we gonna stay home today?" Nora asked, looking up at Maya.
Just then, Carina walked into the room, holding a tray with a plate of French Toast and a bowl of fruit on it.
"I have breakfast," Carina said, smiling.
"For us too?" Rowan asked, standing up on the bed to look at what Carina had.
"I think it would be better if you two eat downstairs," Carina said, looking at Rowan.
"No," Rowan said, "No, I want to eat wif Maya."
"It's ok," Maya said, "I can share."
"Are you sure?" Carina said, handing Maya the tray.
"Yeah," Maya said, "Right girls? We can share."
"Si," Rowan said, reaching for a blueberry while Nora nodded.
"Ok," Carina said, "I am going to go get the rest of the French toast then and we can all eat here."
"Mamma, are we staying home today?" Nora asked.
"Well, that depends on what Mommy wants to do," Carina said, "It's her birthday."
"Mommy, do you want to stay home today?" Nora asked, looking back at Maya.
"Well, I want to go see Lia today," Maya said, biting her lip.
"Us too," Rowan said, "We want to see my baby Totoina Yia too right Noa?"
"Ok," Nora said, shrugging.
"What do you think Bambina?" Carina asked, looking at her wife.
"Ok," Maya said, "Yeah, we all can go to the NICU today."
Carina could tell Maya was apprehensive, but she didn't want to talk about what was going on in front of the girls so she decided to wait. Carina went downstairs and grabbed the rest of the French toast along with some extra forks before going upstairs to join her family in bed.
The four of them ate their breakfast before getting up, Carina sending the twins to go get dressed.
"Bambina," Carina said, walking over to where her wife was getting dressed once the twins were out of the room, "What's wrong?"
"I don't know," Maya said, "I mean, I want the twins to come with us to see Lia and I want to spend the day as a family, but I also want to be able to spend more than just an hour or less with Lia today. I know I do that every day and it's my birthday and we should be doing something else, but I don't know if I want to or if I will even be able to enjoy it because Lia won't be there and I feel bad because I should be able to enjoy time with you three and not feel bad about it."
"Hey, it's ok," Carina said, pulling her into a hug as tears started rolling down Maya's cheeks, "It is ok if you don't want to do anything today aside from sitting in the NICU. We can take the twins there this morning and then I can take them to daycare or bring them home and you can stay with Lia. We will figure it out, ok? It's your birthday. You get to decide what we do."
"Maybe…maybe we take the twins there this morning and then we can go out for lunch as a family and the twins can nap at home with you or maybe even Trav and Vic can come over and sit with them or something and I or both of us can go back to spend time with Lia?" Maya suggested, trying to figure out how she could both be with Lia and with the rest of the family.
"I think that would be a great idea," Carina said, "But Bambina, if you truly just want to spend the entire day in the NICU with Lia, that is ok. We can do birthday things another time."
"No," Maya said, "No, I want to spend time with the twins today too, and you. I think it will be good to have the twins see Lia again. I know we talked about waiting until she was off CPAP, but she is doing better and they would probably like to see her and then we can all be together and really, that's what I want today. For the five of us to be together."
"Then that's what we will do," Carina said.
"Tarina, Maya," they both heard coming from down the hall.
"Did you notice she called me Mommy yesterday?" Maya said as Carina went to leave the room.
"I did," Carina nodded with a smile.
"It almost makes the corneal abrasion worth it," Maya said causing Carina to laugh and shake her head as she went to go see what Rowan needed.
It took a little while, but eventually they were all heading out the door after Carina made sure Maya had her next round of eye drops.
"Ok bambine, remember the rules for when we go to see Lia?" Carina asked as the four of them walked into the hospital.
"No running," Rowan said.
"Or being youd," Nora said.
"That's right," Carina said, "Do you remember why?"
"Tetause my baby Totoina Yia is sick and other babies are sick and it needs to be quiet," Rowan said seriously.
"Good," Maya nodded as she held tightly to Nora's hand.
"Bishop-Delucas," Amelia said, all of them to stop on their walk to the NICU, "What are you all doing today?"
"We are going to see my baby Totoina Yia," Rowan said, "Tetause it's Maya's birfday."
"It is your Mommy's birthday isn't it?" Amelia said, smiling, "Happy birthday Maya."
"Thanks Amelia," Maya said.
"Do you have any big plans for today?" Amelia asked.
"Just spending time as a family," Maya said, "All five of us haven't been together since Lia was born."
"That sounds like a good plan," Amelia said, nodding, "Well, I won't stop you. Have a good birthday Maya."
"Thanks Amelia," the blonde said as they headed down to the NICU.
They got to the NICU, getting scrubbed in and their temperatures checked before heading over to Lia's incubator. When they got there, Maya stopped in her tracks, seeing a little card sitting on top of Lia's incubator that had what she assumed was Lia's tiny footprint turned into a ladder truck with the words Happy Birthday Mommy written on it.
"What is this?" Maya asked, setting down her bag before going over to the incubator and picking up the card.
"Happy birthday," Jenna, Lia's nurse said coming over, "That is something that Julia made last night with Dr. Deluca. He told us it was your birthday today."
"This is adorable," Maya said, picking up the card, feeling tears in her eyes, "Thank you."
"When can I see my baby Totoina Yia?" Rowan asked, tugging on Carina's hand, the Italian having gone over to her wife's side to see the card also.
"Are you Lia's big sisters?" Jenna asked, crouching down to Rowan and Nora's level. Nora just buried her face in Maya's legs, but Rowan nodded.
"She's my baby Totoina Yia," Rowan said, "And today Maya and Tarina said we can see her."
"Do you want to hold her?" Jenna asked.
"Can they?" Maya asked, unsure of what the rules were.
"Of course," Jenna said, "Let's pull out your boppy and I can help you guys with it."
"What do you think Patatina, do you want to hold Lia?" Carina asked.
"Si," Rowan yelled, Maya and Carina quickly shushing her.
"Ok, oh, can you tell me your name?" Jenna asked Rowan.
"'Owan 'drea Bishop-Deyuca," Rowan said proudly, "And my sister's name is Lelenoa Mason Bishop-Deyuca."
"This is Rowan," Maya said, hand on the little blonde's head, "And this is Nora."
"Well Rowan and Nora, do you want to hold your baby sister?" Jenna asked.
"Me first," Rowan said, raising her hand.
"Let's sit in the chair," Carina said, guiding Rowan over to the chair that had become a second home to her and Maya recently.
Rowan sat down, practically buzzing with excitement.
"Ok, Patatina, you have to be calm," Maya said, "Lia is tiny and likes it when people are calm ok. Let's take some breaths."
Maya and Carina both helped Rowan take some deep breaths as Jenna brought over the boppy pillow, placing it on Rowan's lap.
"Ok Rowan, now I am going to get Lia out of her bed and put her on your lap ok?" Jenna said, "She has a mask on her face helping her breathe and a tube in her nose to help her eat and some wires to make sure she is healthy, but she is ok."
"She has CPAP," Rowan said, "To help her lungs stay big so she can get oxygen in her body to get strong."
"Good job," Jenna said, clearly impressed, "You know more about what is happening with your sister than lots of grown-ups."
"We try to make sure they know what is happening," Maya said, "It helps, especially Rowan."
"That is amazing," Jenna said, "Now, would one of you like to get Lia or do you want me to?"
"I will," Maya volunteered immediately going over to the incubator, "Good morning Peanut. Thank you for the birthday card. I really appreciate it. Your big sisters are here today and they are very excited to hold you, especially Rowan. Try not to cry when she holds you ok? She really loves you."
Maya expertly got Lia out of the incubator while she was saying all of this, holding Lia close for a moment before walking over to where Rowan was anxiously waiting, Nora having somehow ended up in Carina's arms.
"Ok Patatina," Maya said, Jenna standing by to help Maya get Lia positioned in Rowan's waiting arms, "Here is your baby."
Rowan held out her arms, Maya carefully laying Lia in them, holding the baby's tiny bald head for support as Rowan stared down at the baby.
"Hi, my baby Totoina Yia," Rowan said, holding the baby, "Mommy, she is yittle."
"She is," Maya nodded, making sure to keep a good hold on Lia as she felt tears welling up in her eyes yet again, causing her to close her injured eye as it burned.
"I yove her," Rowan said, still staring down at Lia.
"I'm so happy you love her," Maya said.
"Can I hold her hand?" Rowan asked.
"Of course," Maya said as Rowan moved her hand that had been down by Lia's bottom, the baby supported by the pillow as her big sister held her hand.
"Look Maya, she's holding my hand," Rowan said, never taking her eyes off Lia.
"I see that," Maya said, nodding, "She likes you."
"Is it fun holding Lia?" Carina asked, walking over with Nora still on her hip.
"She's yittle," Rowan said, "And I yove her."
"Nora, do you want to hold Lia too?" Maya asked, looking up at her two favorite brunettes.
"Not right now," Nora said, looking over at Rowan with curiosity.
"That's ok," Carina said, smiling at her, "Do you want to get down and go see her?"
Nora thought for a second before nodding, Carina setting her down before she walked over to where her two younger sisters were, just looking at Lia.
"Why does she have no hair?" Nora asked.
"Well, because she is just a baby," Maya said, "Rowan didn't have hair when she was born either.
"Did I?" Nora asked.
"You did," Carina nodded, "You had a good amount of dark brown hair."
"How come I didn't have hair?" Rowan asked.
"Because some babies are born with hair and some aren't," Carina said, "It's just how it goes. But you got hair eventually."
"Yeah, like Maya," Rowan said.
"And mine is like Mamma's," Nora said, "Mamma, will Yia have hair like you or Mommy?"
"We don't know yet Piccola," Carina said, "We have to wait and see what her hair does as she grows. Maybe it will be brown or maybe it will be blonde or maybe it will be another color."
"Like pink or purple?" Nora asked.
"Or red like a wee woo?" Rowan asked.
"Well, probably not pink or purple," Carina chuckled, "But it could be red. Some people have red hair, though it doesn't look like a fire engine. We just have to wait and see what happens as Lia gets bigger. For now, she is just bald."
Rowan continued to hold Lia until the baby started to fuss, Maya picking her back up as her fussiness turned to cries.
"Did I hurt her?" Rowan asked, clearly concerned.
"No," Maya assured her, "She just needs a diaper change."
"Oh," Rowan said, "But why is she crying?"
"Well, because she doesn't like being wet and dirty," Carina said.
"Me too," Nora said, "I don't yike that either."
"I know," Carina said, smiling at her.
Once Lia was done with her diaper change, Maya scooped her up again, getting the baby to settle quickly as she slipped a pacifier in her mouth, something Lia had been working on mastering recently.
"Do you want a turn to hold her now Nora?" Maya asked.
"No thank you," Nora said, shaking her head.
"Ok," Maya said, sitting down and setting Lia settled against herself.
"Mommy, why does my baby Totoina Yia have a paci?" Rowan asked, walking over to Maya while Carina sat down in the chair the toddler had just vacated.
"Because she is learning how to suck on it," Maya said, "So that she can learn how to suck on a bottle."
"Or on your boobies?" Rowan asked.
"Yes," Maya said, trying hard not to roll her eyes.
Maya looked down, seeing Nora standing at her knees, clearly looking at Lia and trying to decide what she thought about the whole thing.
"Nora, do you want to come sit in my lap so you can see Lia better?" Maya asked.
"Me too," Rowan said, reaching for Maya.
"How about we let Nora have a turn first Patatina?" Carina said, getting up and coming over to help Maya with the twins, "Lia has lots of cords and wires and we don't want anything to get unplugged or hurt. Nora, do you want to sit with Mommy and Lia?"
"I don't want to hurt Yia," Nora said, frowning.
"You won't," Maya said, "I'll make sure she is ok. Do you want to come sit with me? You don't have to, but you can if you want to."
Nora thought for a minute, nodding.
"No, I want to," Rowan almost yelled, stomping her foot.
"Rowan," Carina said, "That is not ok. You are allowed to be angry and to want to do things, but you cannot yell in here."
"I want to be wif my baby Totoina Yia," Rowan said, stomping her foot again.
"Owan can do it," Nora said, trying to get down.
"No," Maya said, making sure she had a good hold on Lia before holding Nora as well, "Piccola, you can have a turn. Rowan, you got to hold Lia already. It's Nora's turn to see her for a little bit."
"Do you want to come outside with me and calm down?" Carina asked, seeing how upset Rowan still was and very much not wanting her to get kicked out of the NICU.
"No," Rowan said, shaking her head.
"Would you like to come sit in my lap?" Carina asked, "You can still see Lia from there."
"I want to hold her," Rowan said, tears in her eyes as she reached for Carina to pick her up.
"I know Patatina," Carina said, scooping her up and rubbing her back as Rowan buried her head into Carina's neck, "But you have to take turns with Nora. Lia isn't going anywhere. There will be lots of time for you to hold her ok? But right now, it's your sister's turn."
"But I yove her," Rowan cried, clinging to Carina.
"I know," Carina said, "I love her too. But guess what? Mommy and Nora also love her and right now, they are going to hold her. But we can sit here and look at her or we can go out and find someplace to calm down. What would you like to do?"
"See my baby Totoina Yia," Rowan said, sniffling.
"Ok," Carina said, "She's right there."
"See Rowan," Maya said, realizing Carina was done talking to the upset little girl, "Lia is right here."
"She's yittle," Nora said, putting a hand on Lia's back, pulling it away quickly when the baby moved.
"It's ok," Maya said, guiding her hand back, "Lia just likes to stretch and move sometimes. But she likes it when you rub her back."
Over the next hour or so, all five of them just sat there together, Carina eventually taking Lia for some cuddles after Nora took her turn holding her for a few minutes.
Before too long though, the twins started getting antsy and both Maya and Carina knew it was going to be time to get going. After some final cuddles with Lia, they got her to sleep before laying her back in her incubator.
"Tan we see my baby Totoina Yia again soon?" Rowan asked as they headed out of the NICU.
"We will have to see," Maya said, "But right now, how about we go get some lunch."
"Where?" Nora asked, holding Maya's hand.
"I was thinking we could go get tacos?" Maya said, looking at her wife.
"It's your birthday," Carina said, "If you want tacos, you will get tacos. Taqueria El Ranchero?"
Maya nodded with a smile, Carina wondering why she even asked. They hadn't had tacos from Maya's favorite taco place in a long time, mostly because the thought of tacos made Maya feel sick the entire time she was pregnant. However, Carina knew how much her wife loved Mexican food and was more than happy to take her to get it now that she was feeling better.
They went to the restaurant which had outdoor seating that was empty and they took full advantage of as the twins were very much over sitting still and needed to get some of their energy out after a morning spent at the NICU. Maya and Carina let them run around a little bit in the small grassy area near the outdoor seating until it was time to eat.
After lunch, Rowan all but begged to go to the park which they decided would be fun. Maya's energy was still pretty low and her body was still feeling the effects of having given birth 13 days earlier, but she was able to push the twins on the swings and cheer for them as they went down the slides which was all they really wanted.
Around 1, they headed home, Carina putting all her energy into keeping the twins awake so they would actually nap when they got home. It worked, thankfully, and once they were home, Carina somehow managed to carry both girls upstairs at the same time, both of them falling asleep while Maya was singing to them. The moms left the room, carefully walking downstairs before looking at each other.
"What would you like to do this afternoon Bambina?" Carina asked, brushing a piece of hair off her wife's face.
"Um," Maya said, biting her lip, "I don't know."
"Do you want to go back to the NICU for a few hours?" Carina asked, knowing exactly what her wife was thinking.
"Kinda," Maya said, "But I can stay home if you want."
"Bambina, today is your day," Carina said, "If you want to go spend some more time with Lia, go ahead. I'll stay here with the twins."
"Are you sure?" Maya asked, "I know you go back to work tomorrow and you probably want time with her. I can stay with the twins if you want and you can go."
"How about I text Travis and see if he can come over and sit with the twins while we both go?" Carina said.
"Do you think Nora will be ok with that?" Maya asked.
"I think that if she'll be ok with anyone, it will be her Unca T," Carina said, "And I can drive separately and come home when they wake up."
"No, let's drive together," Maya said, "I can come home when they wake up too. And Ro always wakes up first so if we just have Travis text us when she gets up, we'll be home by the time Nora gets up. And Rowan won't care nearly as much."
"He said he will be here soon," Carina said, "And he's bringing Vic."
"Ok," Maya said, nodding with a smile, "I am going to pump before we go."
By the time Maya was done pumping, Travis and Vic were both at the front door.
"Happy Birthday," Vic said, smiling at Maya as she came into the house.
"Thanks Vic," Maya said as her friend gave her a hug.
"Wait, it's your birthday?" Travis said, a fake look of confusion on his face, "Just kidding. Happy birthday Mai."
"Thanks," Maya said, smiling at him.
"Have you had a good day?" Vic asked as they came in.
"Yeah," Maya said, "We took the girls to see Lia this morning and they both got to hold her for the first time and then we went out for tacos which I haven't eaten in so long and they were amazing. And then we took the twins to the park and came home. It has been nice."
"And now we are going to go get a little bit more time with Trottolina," Carina said, grabbing Maya's hand.
"Yeah," Maya said, "But text us when Rowan wakes up and we will come home. The girls, especially Nora have not done great being away from us."
"We've got them," Travis said, "You two go. Have fun."
"Thank you," Maya said as they walked toward the kitchen.
"Feel free to eat anything in the house," Carina said, "And call if you need us."
"We will be fine," Vic said as Maya and Carina walked out the door.
They drove back to the NICU, holding hands over the console. They got there, walking the now familiar route to the to where their youngest daughter was. They got to Lia's side, Carina holding her first this time.
"Hi Trottolina," Carina said as Lia snuggled into her, "I am going to miss all the conccole."
"Maybe you can sneak down here on your breaks," Maya said, knowing that her wife's breaks were usually few and far between but hoping maybe she would be able to see Lia sometimes, "Or after shift."
"Si," Carina nodded, "Or before if I come in early. It will all depend on how the twins do. I don't want to leave you with them if they are cranky."
"But I don't want you to miss time with Lia," Maya said, "I can handle the twins."
"I know you can," Carina sighed, leaning down and pressing a small kiss to the top of Lia's head, "I just don't want to make this harder for you."
"It's not all about me Babe," Maya said, "We are in this as a team, ok? You and your needs matter too."
Carina nodded, reaching over and squeezing her wife's hand, "We will figure it out. We can make a schedule once we see how things go the first few days."
"That's a good idea," Maya said, "You know how much I love a good schedule."
Carina laughed and shook her head, Lia grunting a little bit as she was jostled a little bit by the laughter.
"I'm sorry Trottolina," Carina said, settling her again, "I was just laughing at Mommy."
They sat there for a while, Maya eventually taking Lia when it was time for her tube feeding so she could practice breastfeeding her at the same time. Lia did pretty well, still not fully latching for more than a few seconds, but she did get some suckling in which was good. After that, they just sat there for a little longer, Maya staring down at Lia.
"Do you remember what we were doing on your birthday last year?" Carina asked, drawing Maya's attention away from Lia.
"We were at the beach," Maya said, smiling at her wife, "And you took me out for that amazing dinner and then gave me the most incredible dessert in the room after. That was a great night."
"Si," Carina nodded, smiling at her.
"We should do that again once Lia is stronger," Maya said, "Oh wait, we were supposed to be away today. Crap. We are going to lose all that money for not canceling."
"I canceled it Bambina," Carina said, "I canceled then before Trottolina was even here. When you were in the hospital after your waters broke, I canceled everything. I knew we couldn't go even if you were home and still pregnant. We can go another time when Lia is bigger and maybe we can take all the girls. Or we can just go ourselves. Either way, we will go."
"I can't imagine ever voluntarily leaving this one," Maya said, looking down at Lia who was sound asleep on her chest, milk drunk and content after her tube feed.
"I know," Carina said, knowing that the separation anxiety Maya was going to have when she had to go back to work was likely going to make everything they had gone through with Nora look tame, "But she will grow and get stronger and you will feel better about it. I mean, it is never easy leaving any of them, but we do it and it is ok."
"I don't want to think about it right now," Maya said, shutting down the conversation, "But we can go on a family trip when she is home and stronger. Maybe in the spring or next summer."
"Ok," Carina nodded in agreement, "Speaking of leaving our children, it has been almost three hours since we got here. I can't believe the twins are still asleep."
"Maybe we should call Vic and Trav," Maya said, having not realized the time either, "I hope everything is ok."
"If Rowan is still sleeping, something has to be wrong," Carina said, grabbing her phone to text Travis.
Travis texted her back within a few minutes, letting her know that Rowan and Nora were both awake but that they were doing fine and that Maya and Carina could take their time.
"We probably should go soon," Carina said, "I mean, he said they are fine, but we both know how Nora has been."
"Yeah," Maya sighed, looking down at Lia who was sleeping, "We probably should. And Peanut is sleeping so it's a good time to go. Is anyone sitting with her tonight?"
"I think Andrea is coming again tonight," Carina said, "He is on call tonight."
"Ok, good," Maya said, carefully standing up, both she and Carina kissing the top of Lia's head before getting her situated in her incubator, making sure she was comfortable before heading out.
"What do you want to do for dinner tonight?" Carina asked.
"Can we order something in?" Maya asked, "I am still pretty tired and my eye is kinda bothering me and I just want to hang out at home."
"Of course," Carina said, "Anything in particular you want?"
"Maybe pizza?" Maya said, "Or pho. Let's ask the twins."
"Ok," Carina nodded as they pulled up to the house.
They walked into the house, noticing it was weirdly quiet.
"Hello?" Carina called as they walked in further, seeing the living room was covered in balloons and streamers and a sign that said, "Happy Birthday Maya."
Just then, Nora, Rowan, Vic, and Travis all ran into the room from the playroom, shouting "Happy Birthday."
"What is this?" Maya asked, smiling as the twins ran up to her with cards in their hands.
"It's your birfday party," Rowan said, handing Maya the card, "Tetause it's your birfday."
"I see," Maya smiled, "Well thank you."
"There is also a cake in the fridge for you," Travis said, "Red velvet. Your favorite."
"What?" Maya said, "How did you have time for all of this?"
"Well, we baked the cake earlier today," Vic said, "We asked Carina if we could help with anything for your birthday and she asked us to do it. And we also made the sign and we were just going to bring everything over this evening, but it seemed like the perfect time to decorate and give you a little bit of a surprise."
"Thank you guys so much," Maya said, smiling, "Seriously."
"You guys have a lot going on," Travis said, "We wanted to help."
"Are you guys staying for dinner?" Maya asked.
"We don't want to impose," Vic said, "I know you guys don't get a ton of family time these days."
"No, stay," Carina said, "Please. We are just going to order pho or pizza, depending on what the bambine want."
"Pizza," Rowan said and Nora nodded in agreement.
"Pizza it is," Carina laughed, "I'll call and get it ordered. Bambina, the usual?"
"Yes please," Maya nodded.
"Vic, Travis, any requests?" Carina asked.
"Whatever you usually get," Travis said.
"Oh, can you get one with pineapple on it?" Vic asked, seeing the daggers that just about flew out of Carina's eyes when she said that, dissolving into giggles as she continued, "Just kidding. I hate that almost as much as you do. I'm good with whatever you order. You always get the best kinds."
"Ok, I will go order," Carina said, shaking her head as she headed into the kitchen while Vic, Travis, and Maya all sat down on the couches while the twins ran into the playroom.
"How was the little baby bird?" Travis asked.
"Is that the nickname you decided for her?" Maya asked, raising an eyebrow, "Baby bird?"
"Well, it'll probably end up being just Bird," Travis shrugged, "You know, like early bird because she was born so early. Plus, it goes with the theme. Now we have Bean, Bug, and Bird."
"My kids have actual names," Maya said, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, I know," Travis said, "But I like mine more."
"Well, she was good today," Maya said, "She is working on breastfeeding and growing. Tomorrow we will do another test of her off CPAP which went poorly last time, but hopefully it will go better tomorrow."
"Want to see photos of the twins holding her?" Carina asked, coming back into the room.
"Of course," Vic and Travis said, nodding eagerly.
"You took pictures?" Maya asked, having been so absorbed in the moment she hadn't even noticed.
"Of course I did," Carina nodded, "Here."
Carina showed off the pictures of the girls holding Lia, Travis and Vic oohing and aahing over them.
"I think she has grown since the last time I saw her," Vic said, looking at Lia, "I need more snuggle time with her."
"I mean, you are always welcome to go see her," Maya said, "Carina goes back to work tomorrow which means that Lia will be alone most days after like 3 pm when I go to pick up the twins. Just text and ask. We always love when we know someone is there with her."
"Si," Carina nodded, "Always. And I know you guys can only stay until 8, but feel free to go see her whenever. The staff is getting to know you there."
"Maybe later this week when we aren't on shift," Vic said, nodding.
The four of them chatted, Maya resting her head on Carina's shoulder, the twins running in and out with cakes and presents for Maya until the pizza was delivered.
After dinner and cake, Vic and Travis left while Maya and Carina got the twins ready for bed. Once the twins were down, Maya went to pump while Carina went downstairs to make lunch for the twins for the next day and get everything ready for herself as well. She just had a regular day of seeing patients for routine exams, but she knew she had patients from 8 am until 5 pm.
By the time Carina was done downstairs, Maya was also done pumping and was in the shower.
"Bambina, can I join you?" Carina asked, knocking on the door.
"Um, I am almost done," Maya said, "Maybe next time."
"Ok," Carina said, hearing the uncertainty in her wife's voice.
She knew the blonde had been struggling with her body lately and also remembered what she felt like after her own pregnancy, making a mental note to keep a closer eye on how her wife was doing with it. While Maya was in the shower, Carina got her own things ready to shower, the two of them basically changing places as Maya came out of the bathroom while Carina went in.
By the time Carina was done in the shower, Maya was in bed, looking at the card that she had gotten from Lia.
"Her foot is so little," Maya said, looking up at Carina as the Italian came out of the bathroom holding something behind her back, "What do you have?"
"This is for you," Carina said, handing Maya a small box, "I know you don't wear a lot of jewelry, and if you hate it, we can take it back."
Maya opened the box, feeling tears fill her eyes when she saw three small stones in a row on a gold chain, two deep red ones and one bright green one.
"It's beautiful Carina," Maya said, taking it out of the box.
"Do you like it?" Carina asked, "I know you don't wear a lot of jewelry but this seemed small and not too flashy."
"It's perfect," Maya said, "I love it. Thank you."
"You really like it?" Carina asked.
"I do," Maya nodded, "I love it so much. Thank you. I love you."
"I love you too Bambina," Carina said, leaning over and giving her a kiss, "Happy birthday. Sorry today wasn't quite the birthday we originally planned."
"That's ok," Maya said, "I got to spend the day with my girls and that is all I really want for my birthday. I had a really nice day. Thank you."
"Always Bambina," Carina said, leaning in for another kiss.
Had this been a normal birthday, there would have been much more than kissing happening, but tonight, Maya's wasn't cleared for more than kissing and they were also both too exhausted for more. For tonight, they were both satisfied with a few passionate kisses followed by Carina holding Maya close as they both drifted off to sleep.