The following morning was busy as the Bishop-Deluca's tried to get out the door. Carina wanted to help Maya with the twins as much as she could before she went to work, but she had to be at work by 7:30 so she didn't have much time to help. Carina was also anxious about being back at work and not spending all day in the NICU with Maya and Lia which made it even harder for her to leave the house.
"I will come down every chance I get," Carina said as she poured her coffee while Maya, who's eye was luckily feeling almost 100%, was busy making oatmeal for the twins, "And if they want to start her trial off CPAP, text me and I will try to come down and if you need me, I have someone on standby to take my patients this afternoon or really whenever so just say the word and I will come down and make sure you are taking care of yourself and eating and hydrating and pumping and…"
"Hey," Maya said, stopping what she was doing and going over to her wife, "Babe, stop for a minute."
Carina slowed down, turning and looking at her wife, tears in the corners of her eyes.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Maya asked, cupping her face in her hands.
"I just…maybe it's too early for me to go back," Carina said, "I mean, Lia has a lot going on and I want to be there for her and for you. Maybe I should wait another week. Or maybe I shouldn't go back at all. Or maybe…"
"Carina, breathe," Maya said, drawing her wife's attention back to her eyes, "I am right here. Take a few deep breaths ok?"
Maya helped Carina regulate her breathing a little bit before pulling her into a hug.
"You do not have to go back today if you aren't ready," Maya said, rubbing her back, "But I promise you that we will all be ok if you do. I've got Lia for the day and then you can go see her after work if you want. And if anything happens, you will be in the building. If you really aren't ready, that's ok, but I don't want you not to go back because you are scared or worried. We will be ok."
"Normally I'm the one telling you that," Carina said, wiping her eyes as she pulled out of the hug a bit, smiling at her wife. "I have learned form the best," Maya said, "How are you feeling?"
"Overwhelmed and anxious," Carina said honestly, "I know I can do this, I just…it's scary."
"I know," Maya said, "I know it is. I remember going back when the twins were tiny and how scared I was to do it. And they were perfectly healthy and home. But if we need you, you are only upstairs. You can be to us in a matter of minutes. How about this? Go in for the morning and see how it goes. If it's too much, get someone to cover your afternoon and we can figure out a different plan for you going back to work. Does that sound like something that would help?"
"Si," Carina nodded, "I think I can do that. I think I can work the whole day. I don't know why this is so hard. I know Lia will be with you all day and that is exactly where she needs to be."
"And I will send you updates on how the day is going for her, ok?" Maya said, "I'm sure she would love to pose for pictures for Mamma."
"Ok," Carina nodded.
"And you don't work tomorrow right?" Maya said.
"No," Carina said, "I'm off tomorrow and then I work a 12 hour shift the next day."
"Ok," Maya said, "Then tomorrow you can spend all day cuddling with her ok? I'll make sure she saves you some good ones."
Carina chuckled a little bit, causing Maya to smile.
"Ok," Carina said, "I can do this. I need to get going though."
"Ok," Maya said, "You've got this, ok?"
Carina nodded, giving Maya a kiss before grabbing her travel mug.
"Rowan, Nora, come say bye to Mamma," Maya called, knowing the twins were just playing in the living room.
Both toddlers came running, wrapping their arms around Carina.
"Why do you have to go to work?" Nora asked, hugging Carina close.
"Because I am a grown up and grown-ups go to work," Carina said.
"But Maya doesn't," Rowan said.
"I did before Lia was born," Maya said as she dished out oatmeal for the twins, "But right now, my body is trying to get better and heal after having Lia."
"And your 'gina has to get better?" Rowan asked.
"Among other things, yes," Maya said.
"When a baby is born, the person who gave birth has a lot of things happen in their body like hormone changes and their uterus has to go back to being small and their muscles have to heal," Carina said, "Having a baby is really hard work. It is going to take Mommy's body a while to feel all the way better."
"And that's why she can't pick us up?" Nora said.
"Esattamente," Carina nodded, "Because her muscles have to heal so she doesn't get hurt. But she will eventually."
"How many days?" Nora asked.
"Well, Mommy will go back and see Dr. Johnson in 4 weeks," Carina said, continuing when she saw the frown on Nora's face at the mention of a doctor, "For a checkup like when you go see your doctor and she looks at you to make sure you are healthy. Mommy won't have to stay; she just has to get looked at."
"And then come back home?" Nora asked, needing the reassurance.
"And then come back home," Maya said, coming over to them, "Hopefully I won't have to sleep at the hospital because I am sick or hurt for a long time. Sometimes I might because Lia isn't feeling good, but hopefully not too often."
"Tetause my baby Totoina Yia is getting stronger?" Rowan asked.
"Yep," Maya nodded, "She is working every day to get stronger. Now, can you two give Mamma big hugs and kisses and tell her bye?"
"Bye Mamma," Nora said, giving Carina a kiss, "Ti boglio benny."
"Ti voglio bene Piccola," Carina said, "I will see you around dinner time ok?"
Nora nodded, giving Carina another hug.
"Ciao Tarina," Rowan said, also giving her a hug, "Ti boglio bene."
"Are you ever gonna call me Mamma again?" Carina asked as she gave Rowan a hug.
"But your name is Tarina," Rowan said.
"But your name is Rowan and you like it when I call you Patatina," Carina said, "Or when Mommy calls you Ro."
Rowan thought about it, Carina seeing the little wheels in her head turning but she remained quiet.
"Ti voglio bene Patatina," Carina said, giving the toddler a hug and kiss before setting her down and going over to her wife.
"You've got this Babe," Maya said, "And I will make sure you get lots of Lia pictures today."
"And I will hopefully be down as often as I can. Let me know when they take her off CPAP."
"I will," Maya said, nodding.
"Ti amo," Carina said, giving Maya a kiss.
"Ti amo tanto," Maya said, smiling at her, "Just remember, take it one patient at a time. You've got this. And if it's too much, that is ok."
Carina took a deep breath, nodding a little as Maya gave her one more hug.
"Now go before you are late," Maya said, looking at the clock, "See you later."
"Ciao," Carina said, dropping kisses onto the twins' heads as she walked out the door.
The rest of the morning was busy as Maya got the twins fed, doing their hair while they ate. Nora was on a braid kick lately and Rowan pretty much always requested a messy bun or the occasional ponytail.
Once their hair was done and breakfast was eaten, Maya took them upstairs to get dressed, or more precisely, to supervise them getting dressed and helping make sure all limbs ended up in their designated holes, Nora picking out a pink t-shirt with dinos on it that said "dinosaurs are a girl's best friend" on it and Rowan opted for her favorite Station 19 t-shirt.
After that was done and the twins had clean teeth and faces, Maya convinced them to play in their room while she went to get ready and do one more pumping session before it was time to go.
Luckily, the twins were very cooperative this morning and didn't fight her too much about getting in the car. The entire way to the hospital, Maya made sure to reiterate that she would be there to pick the twins up after their nap time. Nora was clingy as always on the way into the hospital, but after some big hugs from Maya and Harper and Rowan both taking her hands, she went into daycare with only a few tears.
"She did well today," Amelia said, having just gotten there to drop off Harper.
"She did," Maya said, "Hopefully that means good things for the day."
"How was your birthday?" Amelia asked.
"It was nice," Maya said, "We took the twins to see Lia and then we went out for lunch. Trav and Vic came over to watch the twins while they napped so Carina and I could get some more time with Lia and then we went home and had a nice evening with Vic and Travis. Nothing too crazy, but it was nice."
"Good," Amelia said, "Where is your wife this morning?"
"Today is her first day back at work," Maya said.
"Oh, I completely forgot," Amelia said, "I'll have to check in on her later."
"If you can't find her, she might be down in the NICU with me," Maya said, "We are trying again to wean Lia off her CPAP."
"I hope it goes well," Amelia said, hearing her pager going off, "Oh, and apparently my shift has started. See you later."
"Bye," Maya said as she headed down to the NICU.
Once she got all scrubbed in and handed off Lia's milk to the nurse, she went over to Lia's bed, smiling when she saw big eyes looking up at her, pacifier in the tiny mouth, sucking away on it.
"Good morning Peanut," Maya said, unbuttoning her shirt before reaching in and picking up the preemie, holding her close as she carefully navigated the cords, "Did you get good sleep last night?"
"She did," Sami, one of Lia's regular nurses, said, coming over, "I got a great report on her from her night nurse. And Dr. Jax is all set to start another trial of her off CPAP."
"Ok," Maya said, "I remember how it goes from our last try. Do you think she's ready?"
"I think it is impossible to know if she is if we don't try," Sami said, "And she is doing really well right now. We will keep a very close eye on her and make sure that if she starts having A and B's, we get her support."
"Ok," Maya nodded, "I am here until 3 pm today and Carina might come by after work too so we will be here with her too."
"Good," Sami said, starting to walk away "Let me go chat with Dr. Jax and make sure he is ready for us to do this and then we will start her trial again."
"I am going to be right here with you Peanut," Maya said, pressing a kiss to the top of Lia's barely fuzzy head, "Whatever you do today, I will be so proud of you ok? You just listen to whatever your little body wants and we will make sure you are taken care of."
Lia grunted a little, her tiny hand coming up a bit, Maya setting her finger in it as the baby's little fingers curled around it.
"I am right here," Maya said, holding her closer if that was even possible, "You are going to be ok. And Mamma is going to come and see you. Oh, we should send her a good morning picture. Can I please have my finger back? Just for a minute?"
Maya carefully extracted her finger from Lia's hand, the baby fussing a little bit, spitting out her pacifier in the process.
"I know," Maya said, grabbing the pacifier before it fell, "But let's take a picture for Mamma ok? I know you want to hold my hand, and I promise I will let you, but Mamma misses you a lot this morning and she needs to see your perfect little face to help make her first day back at work a little easier."
It seemed like Maya's little pep talk worked because Lia stopped her fussing and while Maya knew it was likely just because she was talking, it was still adorable. Maya quickly took a picture of Lia, sending it off to Carina with a message letting her know Lia was doing well and probably going to be coming off CPAP in the next few minutes.
Maya set her phone to the side to let Lia hold her hand again. The two of them just sat there for a little while until Sami and Dr. Jax came back over.
"Alright," Dr. Jax said, "So we are going to take her off the CPAP right now. As you know from the other day, we are going to need her back in the incubator for this process and then for about thirty minutes after just to make sure she is doing ok. And then you will be free to hold her."
"But I can hold her hand and things right?" Maya asked, trying not to let herself get too anxious.
"Of course," Sami nodded, "You can be right there with her. We just want to make sure she adjusts ok initially."
"Alright," Maya said, standing up, carefully brining Lia back over to the incubator as Sami and Dr. Jax prepared what they needed to get Lia off CPAP.
"Ok little one," Dr. Jax said as Maya stepped aside a little bit to give them space, "Let's see that beautiful face of yours again."
Dr. Jax took off Lia's CPAP, Sami quickly getting the nasal canula on the infant as Lia started to cry a little.
"It's ok Peanut," Maya said, stepping closer to the baby as Dr. Jax stepped away, "Mommy is right here."
"Her oxygen dipped just a tiny bit when we took the CPAP off," Sami said, looking up at Lia's monitor, "But it is back up now. She is doing a good job."
"Good job Cecelia," Maya said, stroking the top of Lia's head which was now fully visible because the CPAP mask was gone, "You are doing such a good job."
"We are just going to keep her in there for a little while," Sami said, getting everything situated for Lia, "I will be right back, but if anything happens or you need anything, just call."
Maya nodded, noticing Lia still seemed a bit unsettled, grabbing a pacifier and sticking it in her mouth which helped. Maya then grabbed the book "Rainbow Fish" which they had been gifted by the NICU a week before and since then, they had been reading it to Lia all the time. She read it while she kept stroking the top of Lia's head, the baby's eyes getting heavier and heavier until they finally slipped closed about fifteen minutes after they put her on regular oxygen.
"Just keep breathing Peanut," Maya said, continuing to stoke Lia's head.
The last time Lia had had her A and B episodes, they had been when she was asleep so it was scary for Maya to see her sleeping this time. Sami came back over to check on them and let Maya know she could hold Lia again, but Maya decided to wait and let the baby sleep.
She just stood by the incubator, watching Lia's chest rise and fall, memorizing the breathing patterns. There would be a few seconds where it looked like maybe Lia was about to stop breathing and Maya would feel panic growing in her own chest, but then, the tiny ribcage would rise and fall again in its rapid pattern. She kept trying to remind herself that it was normal for babies to breathe in an irregular pattern and even stop breathing for a few seconds or more before they would start breathing more rapidly and it was even more common in preemies like Lia.
Maya was just debating pulling her chair over by the incubator so she could watch Lia while sitting because her body was getting tired when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder that made her jump.
"Sorry Bambina," Carina said as Maya turned around, "I didn't mean to scare you. How is Trottolina doing?"
"Well, she's been off CPAP for 45 minutes and so far so good," Maya said, "And she's even sleeping which is when we had issues last time so things are going pretty well."
"Good," Carina said, "And how are you doing?"
"I am good," Maya said, "I mean, I am anxious, but I am trying not to be. I know that the worst thing that happens is she ends up back on CPAP again, but I just…I want her to keep getting better."
"Lo so," Carina said, resting her chin on Maya's shoulder as both of them looked at Lia, "I do too. Hopefully she does."
"How has your day been?" Maya asked, "How are you feeling?"
"Better than I was this morning," Carina said, "It has been good seeing patients again. I still miss the two of you though."
"I think little tiny Lia would probably appreciate some Mamma cuddles after you finish work if you are up for it," Maya said, looking at her wife."
"But the twins also need Mamma time," Carina sighed.
"So you come down here for an hour or two, give Lia some cuddles and then come home," Maya said, "I can get the twins fed, especially because I think Mason said he was going to bring dinner over and then play with them for a little bit and you can come home and put them to bed."
Carina nodded, staring back at Lia again who was just starting to move around in the incubator.
"Buongiorno Trottolina," Carina said as Lia's little eyes fluttered open, eyes still sleepy.
"She just took a whole nap and didn't stop breathing once," Maya said, looking at Carina with tears in her eyes.
"Look at you go Trottolina," Carina said, tears pricking the corners of her own eyes, "Our little Lia is so strong."
Just then, Carina's phone started vibrating.
"I set a timer to remind me when to go back upstairs," Carina sighed, pulling out the phone and silencing it, "I will try to come back down later if I can."
"Ok," Maya said, turning to give Carina a kiss, "We will send you more pictures ok?"
"Grazie," Carina said, turning to Lia, "Ti voglio bene Trottolina. I will be back later."
Carina headed out of the NICU, Maya turning her full attention back to Lia who was starting to fuss a little bit.
"Do you need a diaper change?" Maya asked, noticing the baby's diaper was wet.
She grabbed a clean diaper, and some wipes, getting ready to clean Lia up. As she went to take off the diaper, she realized that Lia's umbilical cord stump had finally fallen off apparently while the baby was asleep, making a mental note to tell the nurse about that and then also ask about maybe if Lia could take a bath at some point soon. She had no idea what the process of bathing a baby as tiny as Lia looked like because she had been terrified enough helping with bathing the twins and they were regular sized babies.
For now, though, she just changed Lia's diaper before scooping the little girl back up and going to sit down with her.
"Hey," Sami said, coming over about half an hour after Lia woke up as Maya was telling her all about the ways the NICU was following fire safety code, "How are things going?"
"Good," Maya said, "I mean, I have basically been glued to her monitor and it seems like everything is ok."
"Good," Sami said, "It's time for her feeding. I know you have been working on practice nursing while she is getting tube fed so I just wanted to let you know and help you get set up if you want."
"Yes please," Maya said, "Oh, also, her umbilical stump fell off while I was changing her diaper."
"Oh, finally," Sami said, smiling, "Good. If she continues doing well with her breathing today, we can try to give her a bath this afternoon if you want."
"Yes," Maya said, "I mean, as long as it's safe for her."
"Of course," Sami said, "It would probably be good for her. And then, if you want, I know you guys have some clothes here for her and we could see how she does with those too. She might not keep them on all the time, but I think we could see."
"Really?" Maya said.
"Yeah," Sami said, grabbing out the boppy pillow, "She has been doing better with her temperature regulation lately. I think overnight we will likely still keep her in just a diaper to make sure we can watch her breathing, but during the day, we can try clothes. I know you guys are big on skin to skin so we don't have to, but I know wearing clothes is something parents often look forward to so I like to offer it when it is time."
"I think it would be cute to see her in clothes," Maya said as she got Lia settled into a position for breastfeeding, "And we have things here ready for her."
"Well then after her bath, we can try," Sami said, getting Lia's feeding tube hooked up as Maya pulled the pacifier out of her mouth, "We usually like clothes with snaps because they allow us to manage the cords more easily she has. She doesn't have an IV anymore so the sleeves don't also need snaps. And as she gets bigger, we can switch to using clothes with zippers because I know those are easier."
"Ok," Maya said, "Yeah, I think Carina made sure we ordered things with snaps so we should have some. I think we also ordered some with magnets? "
"Perfect," Sami said, "Magnets are also great. Do you need any help with latching or anything?"
"Um, I think we are ok," Maya said, guiding Lia's mouth to her nipple, the baby latching on pretty quickly.
"Ok," Sami said, "Call if you need anything."
Maya sat there with Lia attached and suckling some. Maya kept her eyes on Lia and was a tiny bit shocked when things felt a tiny bit different than they had every other time Lia had suckled, realizing when she saw a white substance leaking out of Lia's mouth that the baby was actually getting milk into her mouth.
"Good job Peanut," Maya said, trying to remain calm as Lia took another two sucks before detaching completely, smacking her lips a little.
"Cecelia Katherine, good job," Maya said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the baby's head, "Did that taste good?"
Lia just stared up at Maya as the blonde carefully got her into position to burp her. Lia let out several small burps along with bringing up some milk which Maya wiped away. Once her belly was full, Lia just curled herself up on Maya's chest, nuzzling into her neck as Maya made sure she was covered up.
"That is one of your mamma's favorite places to cuddle too," Maya said, "Let's take a picture and send it to her and tell her that you finally had your first real taste of milk."
Maya snapped a photo of Lia curled up on her chest, very clearly milk drunk and content. Once Maya sent the photo, she just relaxed. She knew she needed to pump soon, but Lia was comfy and warm and she didn't want to disturb her so she just tried to relax and let Lia sleep. Maya was feeling exhausted but she couldn't quite get herself relaxed enough to fall asleep fully due to her worry about Lia's breathing. Just as she was falling into a place between awake and asleep, she heard an alarm going off, eyes flying open as she looked over, seeing Lia's oxygen was starting to go down as was her heartbeat.
"Peanut," Maya said, moving Lia off her chest a little, rubbing the tiny baby's chest which caused Lia's eyes to open as she let out a cry, her heart rate and breathing coming back up just as Sami and another nurse came running over.
"Lia," Sami said, pulling out her stethoscope, listening to the tiny baby, satisfied with what she heard as the other nurse turned off the beeping on the monitor that was now just reminding them Lia had had an issue as her sats were back to normal, "Little Miss, we cannot hold our breathe when we sleep ok? I know you are comfy with Mommy, but breathing is important."
Lia had a grumpy look on her little face as Sami nodded that Maya could put her back on her chest.
"So how many of these does she have to have before we put her back on CPAP?" Maya asked. "It depends on what Dr. Jax wants," Sami said, "I'll ask him. But honestly, it has been a good few hours since we took her off it and that was her first episode which is a good sign. These breath holding spells are normal in preemies unfortunately. They usually grow out of them by the time they are full term though. As long as they aren't happening all the time and she is starting to breathe with little intervention aside from stimulation and she doesn't seem in distress after, we will probably try to keep her off though."
"So it doesn't hurt her when she just stops breathing?" Maya asked, trying hard not to get panicky because she knew it made Lia fussy.
"As long as it's not all the time and it doesn't last a long time, typically no," Sami said, "I mean, we are keeping a close eye on her, but that episode, for example, lasted less than thirty seconds. That is no time at all and her oxygen only went down to 80 which while not ideal, is not extremely dangerous for a few seconds. You did a good job getting her to breathe again. You did everything right."
"Ok," Maya said, looking down at Lia who was still looking sleepy on her chest, her nap having only lasted twenty minutes, "Ok. And right now, everything looks ok?"
"It looks perfect," Sami assured her, "She is being a little rockstar."
"Ok," Maya said, looking down at Lia again.
"How was her practice feeding?" Sami asked as she disconnected Lia's feeding syringe which was empty.
"She actually got a few mouthfuls of milk this tie," Maya said with a smile, "It wasn't a lot and it wasn't for very long, but she did it."
"That is amazing," Sami said, "I know you want to breastfeed and we are fully ready to support that, but we might want to start doing some bottles also just because it is usually a bit easier for them to get milk out. We will keep working on breastfeeding though."
"Whatever is best for Lia," Maya said, "I just want whatever will help her most."
"I know," Sami said, "And so do we. Now, hopefully she gets another little nap and then around noon, we are going to try a bath ok?"
"Ok," Maya nodded, sitting back against the chair again.
Luckily, the second half of Lia's nap was much less eventful though Maya stayed wide awake the entire time, just watching her every breath. Lia woke up again about forty give minutes later, stretching a little bit as she let out a yawn.
"Did you have a nice nap Peanut?" Maya asked, looking down at the baby, "I think you are going to need a diaper change. And then I need to go pump because my boobs hurt and Mamma is going to yell at me if I don't. So how about I get you changed and nice and comfy in your bed and then I will go quickly pump some milk for you ok?"
Lia appeared to be listening contently to her mommy which Maya decided was enough of a response. She got Lia changed, making sure she had her pacifier and wasn't fussy before ducking out to pump.
By the time she got back, it was just about noon and Maya knew it was almost bath time for Lia. She went back over to Lia's bed after dropping off her milk, pulling out the bag they kept in the little area for personal items near Lia's bed, finding an outfit they had purchased online not long after Lia was born.
It was so tiny and white and had a rainbow on it with I heart Mama written above it and while technically they spelled Mamma differently, it was too cute to pass up and Carina loved it and Maya knew it would make Carina's day if she came down later and saw Lia in this little outfit. The outfit felt extra special with the rainbow on it because while Lia wasn't technically a rainbow baby in the sense of coming after a loss of another baby, she was like a rainbow at the end of the storm that had been Carina's cancer journey. It also had buttons which was perfect. She took it out, feeling tears fill her eyes as she walked over to Lia's incubator with the tiny outfit, trying to imagine the baby wearing it soon.
"Hey," Sami said, coming over with a cart with a few items on it including a baby bathtub filled with water.
"Alright," Sami said, "So this is how we do NICU baths. We typically strip them down and then wrap them in a swaddle before putting them in the water. It helps keep them warmer. And then as we wash them, we move the swaddle a little to be able to get them clean." "Ok," Maya said, "What about all the little stickers on her chest?" "So we actually need to change those leads anyway," Sami said, "So we will take the cord parts off and then remove the stickers with the help of the bath." Just then, they both heard footsteps coming and Carina appeared suddenly.
"Hey," Maya said, smiling at her wife, "You are just in time for her first bath."
"Really?" Carina said, "Her umbilical stump finally came off?"
"Yep," Maya said, "This morning. Do you have time to stay for the bath?"
"Si," Carina said, "My next patient actually canceled so I have a while. I am so glad I didn't miss this."
"Me too," Maya said, giving her wife a hug before they both went back to Lia who was a bit upset about having been set down in her incubator for the past twenty minutes.
"Ok Trottolina," Carina said, stroking Lia's head, the baby calming a bit almost immediately.
"So as I was explaining to Maya, we usually do these baths in swaddles," Sami said, "So we need to get diaper off but first, let me get a swaddle under her."
Soon enough, Lia was in nothing but a swaddle, Maya, Carina, and Sami all standing around the tub, Carina holding Lia in her arms for the first time all day.
"Ok," Sami said, "Now some babies cry when we do this so I have a pacifier right here which usually helps. It doesn't hurt, as you know, but it can be overwhelming to them sometimes."
"Ok," Maya said as Carina nodded.
"Alright," Sami said, "Carina, you can hold her in the tub and I can help and then Maya, here is a washcloth and some soap to wash her up. Start with her body and we will do her head last. Ready?"
"Si," Carina said, walking over and carefully lowering Lia into the tub, the baby looking startled for a moment before she relaxed, looking extremely peaceful in the tub.
"I think she likes it," Maya said, smiling as Lia let out a tiny sigh.
"Si," Carina said, chuckling, "So much different than Rowan's first bath."
"Oh yeah, she was pissed," Maya said as she dipped the washcloth in the water before opening the swaddle a little, washing Lia's leg gently, "Which is hilarious because she likes water far more than Nora now."
"Si," Carina said, staring down at Lia who seemed very alert but extremely content in the water, "What about you Trottolina? Are you going to like the water when you get older?"
They continued Lia's bath, the baby just relaxed in Carina's hands the entire time. Maya eventually made her way to her head, carefully washing the tiny amount of fuzz that was growing there.
"Does it look more red to you now that it's wet?" Carina asked, studying the top of Lia's head.
"It's probably just the light," Maya said before looking down and realizing her wife was kinda right, "I mean, what are the odds we have a red headed baby?"
"Odds or not, it looks red to me," Carina said.
"I…You're not wrong," Maya said, looking again, "But I think we still have to wait."
"Si," Carina said as Maya rinsed Lia's head off, "But I think we might have a red headed little girl on our hands."
"Do you really think we are going to have a blonde, a brunette, and a red head?" Maya asked, "That seems like an incredibly unlikely thing to happen."
"Many many things in our lives have been incredibly unlikely," Carina said, shrugging.
"Ok," Maya said, looking at Sami, "I think we are done."
"Perfect," Sami said, "So now, I am going to go grab a warm swaddle and then we will unwrap her from the wet one and get her in the dry one. Did you get clothes out for her?"
"I did," Maya nodded.
"Perfect," Sami said, "I will grab new leads for her and then we can get her dried in her incubator, get the leads back on her along with her diaper and then get her dressed. And then she probably could use some cuddles because we want to make sure she doesn't get cold."
"Clothes?" Carina said as Sami walked away, "She gets to wear clothes today too?"
"Yep," Maya said, "It is a big day for our little Trottolina."
"And did I read your message earlier right?" Carina said, "Did she actually properly latch and drink?"
"Well, I don't know if it was a proper latch," Maya said, running some water over Lia's body, the baby looking like she was fully in heaven in the water, "But she did get a few mouthfuls of milk, yeah."
"That is amazing," Carina said, smiling at her wife and then her daughter.
"She did have one A and B episode though," Maya said, "But it was really short and I got her breathing again in less than a minute. She was just too asleep I guess."
"You can't sleep that hard Trottolina," Carina said, looking down at the baby, "You have to keep breathing even when you are sleeping. It's very important."
Lia just yawned, her eyes getting heavy.
"She is going to be mad when we take her out of there," Maya said, "She is not a fan of being cold."
"Just like Mamma," Carina said.
"I wonder what she's going to be like when she gets older," Maya said.
"I am excited to find out," Carina said, "But that doesn't mean growing up too fast Trottolina because you are our baby."
"Ok," Sami said, coming over with a warm blanket, "So Maya, do you want to hold her when she comes out of the bath?"
"Ok," Maya said, taking the warm blanket from Sami.
"Alright," the nurse said, "I am going to unwrap her and then Carina, you can hand her to Maya ok? And when you are drying her off, remember, pat, don't rub."
"Si," Carina nodded as Sami started unwrapping Lia from her burrito, Carina picking up the baby who almost instantly started screaming, handing her to Maya, quickly helping get her wrapped completely up in the warm blanket, everyone mindful of Lia's oxygen tubing as they moved around.
"It's ok Peanut," Maya said, bouncing a little bit as Carina gently patted her dry.
"Ok," Sami said, "Let's get her dressed and then you can cuddle her more."
"Alright Trottolina," Carina said as she took Lia out of the now wet blanket in Maya's arms, laying her back in her incubator which pissed Lia off, the little girl screaming loudly.
"I know," Sami said as Carina got Lia's diaper back on while Sami stuck her new leads on, "We are going to get you warm ok. You are ok."
"Here," Maya said, walking over with the clothes.
"Did you two want to dress her?" Sami asked, the NICU policy being to let parents do as much as they wanted to that they could do safely.
"Of course," Maya said, walking over with the outfit, carefully slipping Lia's arm into the fabric before Carina slid the outfit under the baby, doing the same on the other side, both of them working in tandem to get her in the clothes, Carina not paying attention to what outfit is was until Lia was fully dressed and much calmer.
"Did you see what she's wearing?" Maya said, looking at Carina.
"I didn't… oh," Carina said, looking at the outfit, tears filling her eyes as she looked up at her wife, "You decided this would be her first outfit?"
"It felt fitting," Maya shrugged, "I mean, it's a special outfit we bought for her and it just felt right."
"Grazie Bambina," Carina said as Maya grabbed Lia's pacifier, popping it into the still fussy baby's mouth.
"Do you still have time before you have to go back to work?" Maya asked.
"Um, not much," Carina said, looking at the clock, "I have about twenty minutes."
"Well do you want twenty minutes of cuddle time with a very clean smelling Trottolina?" Maya asked, looking at her wife.
Carina nodded, scooping Lia up into her arms, the outfit still pretty big on the little baby despite being preemie sized.
"Have you eaten yet Bambina?" Carina asked as she settled in the chair.
"No," Maya said, "I pumped not too long ago, but I haven't eaten."
"Why don't you go eat while I hold her?" Carina said, "You need to feed you too Bambina."
"I know," Maya said, "I have my lunch in my bag. I'll be back soon?"
"I have twenty minutes, maybe twenty-five before I need to be back upstairs," Carina said, "And this little one and I are going to get in some conccole we have been missing all day."
"Ok," Maya said, smiling as she gave her wife a quick kiss before grabbing her bag and stepping out of the NICU.
While Maya was gone, Carina sang to Lia and told her a few stories before the baby fell asleep, her head directly on top of Carina's heart. Carina just sat there, soaking up the warmth of the baby who she had missed so so much today. She was glad she would be off tomorrow and able to spend the first half of the day with Lia and Maya and then the second half with Nora and Rowan.
It was so hard to be back at work while trying to balance three kids, one of whom was still pretty sick, and a postpartum wife who was still healing and trying to deal with her own emotions and feelings. Carina felt exhausted and while she knew she would have to go back to work soon, she let her eyes slip shut just for a few minutes, not really falling asleep but not fully awake until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Babe, you have to get back to work," Maya said as Carina blinked a few times while she looked up at her.
"Oh, ok," Carina said, nodding, "Can you take Trottolina?"
"Sure," Maya said, reaching for the newborn, Lia letting out a little squeak as Maya held her, bouncing a little bit as Lia settled back down once she realized she was still being held, "Are you going to be ok at work this afternoon?"
"Si," Carina nodded, "It's only a couple more hours. And then I will come back down here and hold this little one for a little longer and then come home and hold my other three favorite girls."
"Ok," Maya said, giving Carina a kiss, "I will send you one more picture of Trottolina before I leave because I have to go get the twins in a few hours."
"Ok," Carina said, "Have a good afternoon. I love you."
"I love you too," Maya said, giving Carina a kiss, "I am proud of you."
Carina ducked her head as she blushed a little bit as she leaned down to give Lia a kiss before heading out of the NICU while Maya sat back down in the chair to resume her constant rotating watch of Lia's back moving up and down as she breathed and her monitor to keep track of her sats and hoping that everything remained as good as it had up to this point in the day.
What did you think? Little Tiny Lia is making progress. I am hoping I can get the next chapter up a little faster next time because I already have part of it written but I also have a busy few weeks coming up so we will see. Thank you all for sticking with me even with how long it's taking to get chapters out. You all are amazing. Thank you for reading, commenting, favoriting, and following!
Oh, and if you want to see the outfit they put Lia in, go over to the post about this chapter on my twitter: musicgirl1120