Author's Note: As I am sure many That '70s Show fanfic readers and writers already know - sometimes we have to take some liberties when it comes to the timeline from the show. It was impossible to satisfy every aspect of the canon timeline in this story, try as I might. So for the sake of this story: Jackie and Hyde's date on Veteran's Day happened when she was a sophomore and he was a junior. The end of that particular school year is when Kelso and Donna go to California. This means that, depending on when they started hooking up that summer, Jackie and Hyde finally start their relationship about 7-9 months after that fateful Veteran's Day.

PART ONE:
Last November
(About 9 months earlier)

"[Liminal space] is where one thing ends and another is about to begin, but you are not quite there yet, you are in the space between." - Kristen Franklin, mindset expert, Forbes

o-o-o

Friday, November 11th

I can never tell anyone.

I decide, with absolute conviction, that I would bury the events of tonight six feet under and never speak a word of them ever again to anyone.

Steven shuts the door to the passenger side of the Lincoln. I watch as he crosses the front of the car, absentmindedly running his fingers along the hood, before joining me on the driver's side.

"Ready?" he asks. If I knew him better, I'd almost think his nonchalance was forced.

"Let's go," I say, managing a smile to match his aloofness.

And that's why I am so eager for the date to end. Because when Steven and I kissed - and I mean we really kissed - I felt something shift. Up until that point, my dreams about falling in love and having a happily-ever-after with Steven Hyde had been just that. A dream. A fantasy.

For a while, it seemed like my fantasy would turn into reality. The way Steven had shared his pop and let me tuck myself under his arm and wear his denim jacket when I got cold. It was my fantasy come to life.

Until we kissed.

We kissed, and when Steven didn't move away, and when I deepened the kiss, and when he responded in kind and still didn't move away? That's when everything became a little bit too real, too fast. My fantasies had been safe, easy. But that kiss opened up new doors of possibility with Steven, and I was too afraid to walk through.

My Veteran's Day miracle had turned into a Veteran's Day mess.

So I pulled away. And no sooner were the words "I didn't feel anything" out of my mouth did I regret them. Because it wasn't true. I'd felt something, but I wasn't sure what it was and that scared me. But then Steven agreed that he felt nothing either, and that regret was replaced with relief. Relief that I hadn't told him the truth about how I'd really felt about the kiss.

Too bad I didn't know the truth about how the kiss had really made me feel. It hadn't been what I'd expected, I knew that much. Like I'd told Steven, the kiss was hot. He was immensely more adept and skilled at kissing than Michael was. But there was something else about the kiss that had left me on edge, unleashing the kaleidoscope of butterflies in my stomach into flight, and I couldn't pinpoint what it was.

I had to force myself out of my head or I'd go crazy. I try to focus my attention on the passing scenery outside my window. While in my trance, we'd navigated out of the woods and were back in downtown Point Place, not terribly far from my house. I silently watch the houses pass. It's not until Steven starts turning down streets with garishly large homes do I speak again.

"So, what now?" I repeat my question from earlier.

In the dark, I can make out Steven as he nods his head slightly. It strikes me that he'd probably been waiting for me to ask this, or was at least waiting for me to say something. I feel a wave of gratitude for his patience with me while I'd been processing everything on this drive back. Michael would've pestered me endlessly until I'd finally yell at him to shut up.

"Well, I guess this means you're over your little crush on me, right?" Steven says, not unkindly. I nod. "I guess things just go back to the way they were before."

Before what? I want to ask.

Before he agreed to go on a date with me? Before he got arrested to save me? Before he took me under his wing after I broke up with Michael? Before he took me to prom?

I suddenly realize that my relationship with Steven had been growing steadily for a long time now and the days of mutual animosity were so far in the past that I didn't think I had the heart to go back to that. Especially not after all Steven had done for me. But if that's what he wanted, to go back to a time where we meant nothing to each other, then I'd have to try, for his sake.

"Before." I try out the word. "Yeah, okay."

"And just in time," Steven says, jutting his chin towards the windshield. Outside, my house looms before us, dark except for the front porch light.

"Thanks for driving," I murmur. Steven pulls up the driveway and hands me the keys before I realize. "Wait, you're living with your dad now."

Steven pauses with one foot out the driver's side door. He glances over his shoulder at me. "Yeah, so?"

I momentarily forget everything that happened tonight. I grab his elbow and pull him back into the car. His gaze darts to my hand around his elbow, and I immediately let him go.

"So, isn't that a lot farther for you to walk than it is to the Forman's?" I dangle the keys in front of him.

Steven looks as though he's going to fight me on this, but I shove the keys into his palm and settle back into the seat, crossing my arms and facing forward.

"You're really stubborn, you know that?" Steven shakes his head, but moves to put the key in the ignition.

I give him a disbelieving look. "I'm sorry, have we just met?"

"Yeah, okay," Steven concedes, a small smile toying at his lips.

I don't let myself get lost in my head this time. That got me nowhere on the drive to my house, so I refuse to do it again. Instead, I focus on every turn Steven makes so I can find my way back home.

Then, as if reading my mind, Steven speaks. "You know how to get to The Piggly Wiggly from your house?" he asks. I nod. "So, it's right down the street from the bar where Bud works, and his apartment is just a few more blocks from there."

I want to ask him how it is, living with Bud. But I realize that's not something I would have asked him before, so I keep my mouth shut. When Steven eventually pulls the Lincoln into the parking lot of the apartment complex, I take it all in eagerly, as it is probably the only form of answer I'll ever get to my question.

The parking lot is dark. One lone street lamp, riddled with dead insects, illuminates the far corner of the lot. But inside, many people still have their lights or TVs on. The building itself is old, but seemingly decently maintained. It could certainly use a little TLC, but it was no near as rundown as the house Steven had lived in with his mother. I feel myself relax slightly as I realize that I had been worried that when Steven left the Forman's that he would have moved someplace like he had been before. This place wasn't as homey or nice as the Forman's - and definitely couldn't even compare to my house - but it looked safe and secure.

I begin to wonder about my visceral concern over Steven's well-being and quickly spiral back down the rabbit-hole of the events that had happened this evening and how they made me feel. Did that kiss mean more than I was willing to admit? I suppose it was possible.

""Jackie?" Steven asks in a way that suggests this wasn't the first time he'd said my name. When I look up at him he speaks again. "You good to get home from here?"

"Yeah," I say quickly, grabbing the keys from his outstretched hand. My hand comes away tingling from where our fingers touch, and I try to ignore it. "Thanks for this evening, Steven. I'm sorry…"

I struggle for what to say next. Sorry for what? A lot, really. For pursuing him recklessly. For manipulating him into taking me on a date. And, it was quickly becoming harder to deny to myself, but also for lying about how that kiss had made me feel.

"Nothin' to apologize for," Steven says casually, but earnestly. "Good night, Jackie."

"Night," I say, scooting across the bench seat to position myself behind the steering wheel. I've just turned the key in the ignition when Steven turns around and taps on the window.

I unroll it, the butterflies in my stomach starting to wake up again.

"Forgot my shades," Steven says, pointing to the dashboard.

"Oh, here," I grab them and pass them over to him.

I don't know if we exchange more words after that. Because I was suddenly caught up in the fact that I'd foolishly hoped that Steven had come back to kiss me good night. And if I'd wanted him to kiss me again, then that meant that I really did feel something with that first kiss.

I didn't feel anything, I'd said. More like, I felt everything.

But I wasn't ready to admit that. Not even to myself.

Author's Note: Chapter 2: Silences & Lies will be posted Friday, February 2, 2024.