It's takes me almost a day to drive to where Elijah is, but I finally arrive. He is off living in the middle of nowhere, and I am being serious. There is no town anywhere near here. He has just decided to live in the middle of the woods, for some strange reason.
Once I arrive, he openly welcomes me into his house and I tell him everything that has happened since he left. From the moment he left Rebekah and me, till now. I even told him about Alex and our little talk, because I am still curious about why I cannot remember him. Though, I only speak about it for a little while, as that is the furthest thing from my mind right now.
I never realized how much frustration I was actually holding in, until I went on this whole rant to Elijah. I'm still very much angry, but I feel a little relieved.
"Huh." Elijah stated as he drank some of his tea, and I looked at him confused.
"That's all you have to say?" I ask, confused, and he nods his head. "After I spilled out everything I've been going through, that's all you have to say?"
"Hm...this Alex boy seems pleasant." Elijah states placing down his tea. I squint my eyes at him, before getting up in frustration.
"This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here." I state walking towards the door.
"Do you wish to talk about Kol?" Elijah asks me and I stop walking. I actually have not really talked about my brother. All I have talked about is how I would avenge his death, but not actually processing the death is general.
I turned back around to face Elijah. "Not really... at least not right now."
"Well there you go. That's is why I did not mention him." Elijah points out. I should known Elijah is never insensitive. He just knows when to talk about a subject, and when to keep his mouth shut. "Come and please take a seat Kalle."
I take a deep breath, before walking back to the couch. Once I sit down and settle myself, I look back at Elijah. "You know, I figured you would be more mad about the whole me turning off Elena's humanity, situation."
"I highly doubt you would have let Elena go on with her life without some type of consequence for killing your twin." Elijah remarks.
"And you don't have any particular feelings about any of this? The old Elijah I knew would kill anyone who hurt our family." I said.
"The old Kalle I knew would not even consider those words." Elijah states.
"I would always kill to protect our family Elijah. That's the only time I ever do, you know that." I state, irritated.
"And yet Elena is still alive. Why is that?" Elijah questioned.
"What do you want her dead?" I ask confused.
"I am just asking a question. You said you kill for your family, you kill if anyone hurts our family and you are right, I am aware of that. But Elena is still alive. So why is that?" Elijah questions me again and I still look at him puzzled. What does he want from me?
He states that the old me would never kill and I point out I have, if it was to protect my family. But I didn't even kill anyone, and he's questioning why?
"I don't know Elijah. Maybe because I realize killing her won't bring him back." I shrug my shoulders and Elijah shakes his head.
"That's not why." Elijah points it out, and I start getting frustrated.
"I don't know what you want me to say Elijah. I didn't kill her, end of story."
"But why?"
"I don't know!"
"You do know. Because you know for a fact if this happened a few hundred years ago, Elena would be dead. Now why isn't she?" Elijah asks looking at me intensely and I start to get angry.
"I already said I don't know." I state getting frustrated, feeling my blood boil.
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do." Elijah stated, becoming more intense.
"I don't!" I state even louder.
"Why did you let her live? Why is she still breathing Kalle? Why are you letting her live, knowing everything she has took away from our family?" Elijah questions more seriously, being even more intense and I don't know what to say anymore. What more does he want from me? I gave my answer, but I feel this fire of anger growing into me. And I cannot control it.
"Why did you let this girl, who took away your twin, live!?"
"BECAUSE I WANT HER TO SUFFER!" I scream at him standing up now, feeling the fire of energy come out of me. "I WANT HER TO FEEL PAIN! I WANT HER TO BEG FOR MERCY, TO PLEAD FOR HER LIFE, FOR HER FRIEND'S LIFE! I WANT HER TO FEEL THE PAIN I FEEL BUT A THOUSAND TIMES WORSE! BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE ETERNITY FOR HER A LIVING HELL!!"
Instead of being startled by my outburst, Elijah just stands up as well. I continue to look at him with anger, but he doesn't make eye contact with me. Instead, he looks down at me and analyzes my whole body. I'm assuming he's looking at how worked up I am right now, and how I feel like I am about to explode. He then finally makes eye contact with me.
"Which is exactly what Niklaus would do." Elijah stated, and I suddenly lost all the anger in me.
Oh my god. I'm turning into Nik. The threats, the craving for power, letting my enemy suffer slowly and painfully, instead of just taking them out...oh.
I stopped looking at Elijah with anger and looked away from him around the house. I saw books that were on the shelves, now scattered all around the floor. I saw some windows wide open, and some broken, with glass lying on the floor. I saw candles lit in high flames, wind blowing around me. I lowered the flames and stopped the wind blowing.
I did this without even realizing it. I felt all of this, without even realizing. I knew I wanted revenge, but I did not realize who I was turning into. But Elijah did.
"That's why you kept asking me that stupid question." I state, still not making eye contact with Elijah. Elijah know's his family. He know's all of our tactics, he know's when we aren't acting like ourselves. He especially knows when a sibling is feeling pain, but does not want to show it.
"For over a millennium, I have watched anger build in Niklaus. I have tried over and over again to make Niklaus feel again, and to not carry that anger around. But he continues, because he uses that anger to make himself powerful. To make others fear him." Elijah states, grabbing my shoulders and I finally make eye contact with him. "I don't want that for you, sister."
I look at Elijah, trying to hold back the tears. I cannot cry anymore. Whether I feel or not, crying doesn't help who I am becoming.
"I have been feeling this empty void in me since Kol died...he was my other half, Elijah. I don't know how I'm going to get on with eternity without him." I state sincerely.
"I know it's hard Kallandra. I'm going to be honest with you, it is not going to get easy and you will feel this way for a while. And even though I have made you realize you are becoming like Niklaus, this anger you are feeling is not going to go away that quickly." Elijah points out. He is right. Even if I knew I was becoming a monster, I cannot help what I feel.
"I don't want to become Nik, Elijah."
"Trust me, I do not want another Niklaus in this world, one is enough. But I will help you with this." Elijah states and I nod at him. "How about you stay with me for a few days?"
I looked at him confused. "In the middle of nowhere?"
"Well considering you almost burned down my house just by talking about, 'making Elena suffer', than yes I believe this is the best choice." Elijah points out and I look around again.
"Fair point." I state with a shy smile. "I'll help clean this up."
"Oh no, you're cleaning all of this up." Elijah points out and I look at him with a 'what' face.
"You trashed it, so you should clean it. Besides, it can teach you a lesson about when you get angry; you have to clean up the mess you made."
"You're acting like mother." I state rolling my eyes.
"Mother kept you in check, did she not?" Elijah states and I look at him interested.
"Good point." I state, looking around the house at the mess. "Better start cleaning.
"You know sister, this could be good." Elijah points out and I look towards him confused. "We have not spent a lot of time together in a while."
He has a point. The last time we really spent time together one on one, was when I first woke up. Even than, I was mostly hanging out with that...group. I barely got see to him. If anything, I've spent the most time with Niklaus, considering our summer together of finding those stupid hybrids.
This could be good. I need a better way to control my frustration, so I'll have the courage to actually kill Elena. I know that's probably not Elijah's goal, but it sounds like a rock-solid plan to me.
"You're right. But just so you know, I'm very difficult to work with." I state with a small smile and Elijah laughs.
"Well, I have worked with Niklaus and he is way more difficult."
"You still haven't gotten through to him though." I say confused.
"Who says I have stopped?" Elijah states and I roll my eyes jokingly to him. "But just remember how Kol would hate for you to be like Niklaus."
I nod at him with a smile. He's right, Kol would hate to see me like this. I mean he would be happy I am being more ruthless...but he would also be mad I am changing myself, better yet, becoming like Nik.
I have to be strong. If not for me, then at least for him.