A/N: I have fully invented Charles's family as the films never get into them, I am not basing them off of the Comic books at all, Charles's step-father, Henry Chesterfield, is a kind but slightly eccentric real estate man.
Trask was well pleased with the communist pamphlets that his contact in the Soviet government had arranged, why forge something when you could get the real deal. Placing the pamphlet down, the red sickle held in a clenched fist prominent on the front, Trask turned back to the robotic creature he was creating. In a matter of weeks he'd be the richest man in the world, or close to it, whoever said war never paid was a fool.
"Sir?" His musings on wealth were interrupted as his assistant came in.
"What is it Anderson?"
"There's a problem with the sample, Miss Frost's dead?"
"What?" Trask turned to his assistant.
"I think we took too much in the last batch."
Frowning, Trask turned back to his robotics project before him on the workbench. "That's unfortunate, but never mind, we can't help it now, we'll just make due with what we have." Trask tightened a bolt on the interior workings of the robotic project before him.
"How was your meeting the other night?"
"I don't know, Mr. Becks. never showed up." Trask was still confused about that entire encounter. The car, the man waving for him to follow, to then find out he'd lost the car in the night and followed a couple — probably looking for a place to get frisky off the beaten path — down an alley. Trask frowned a little more, his good mood diminished somewhat, he still hadn't heard back from Mr. Becks.
"We'll need to get on our flight soon," his assistant, Anderson, reminded him.
"Yes, thank you," Trask dismissed the man. Things would turn around once he moved his plans to Albany.
It was a long uneventful drive from Detroit to Albany and Raven was tired by the time they got there. Raven, Erik, Moira and Mr. Black checked into a hotel on arriving. "Two rooms," Mr. Black asked the woman behind the counter.
Raven stood to one side as Mr. Black received the metal keys with little tags. "Okay, I think this one is us, and that one's for the ladies." Mr. Black gestured between the doors once they'd found the right hall.
"Mutants will stay together." Erik took the key from Mr. Black and unlocking the first door he held it open for Raven.
Raven trusted Moira and Mr. Black she really didn't think they needed to be cautious. However, she also loathed the idea of Moira seeing her blue, not that Moira had ever said anything about Raven's true appearance one way or the other. Raven was shy about the idea of sharing a room with anyone who she didn't already know what they thought about her blue form. Raven would rather be sharing with Erik, if he woke up early - which he usually did - she didn't care if he saw her blue.
Raven's dilemma was solved as Moira took the other key from Mr. Black and unlocking the next door down she looked past Raven and said to Erik added tiredly. "I'll do a few things this afternoon for the operation, stay in the hotel area until I come get you," before going to her own room waving Mr. Black the follow her.
Raven stepped through following Erik into their room and he closed the door on Mr. Black's explanations of why it was not appropriate for unmarried men and women to stay in the same room.
Putting her bag on the bed Raven sat down on the edge and looked around the room. It was a middling to cheep room, no TV set, not even a radio, but the curtains and bedding looked clean and was slightly more fashionable with most road side motels.
Opening her suitcase Raven took out a magazine she'd stolen from a hair salon in Detroit. She glanced away from the dented but still glossy cover for a moment as Erik dug his own book out of his bag and dumped the case onto the floor.
Erik was reading his German to English phrase book which she'd seen him read from time to time in Detroit. Raven had seen Erik with one for German to Spanish and German to French as well, which she kind of thought was odd since Erik always said he was Polish.
Looking away from Erik, Raven glanced down at the images in her magazine, the women advertising stockings and cleaners were all buffed, smooth and polished, not a rough skinned individual between them. And no one was blue. Raven looked down at her pale, smooth hand, the one she had while in her blonde-form. She hadn't really had the time before now to think about her night with Erik, specifically the end of it. He hadn't wanted to share a bed, or to take a shower, was it because he secretly really thought her repiloid form was ugly and unpleasant to actually touch? She didn't know if he thought the blue was wired, but surely he had realized while running a hand over the spiky part of her leg that it was repulsive to touch her, like touching a snake.
Raven glanced over to where Erik was sitting again, she felt a deep insecurity that even Erik — who was so supportive of Mutants and their differences— didn't really like the way she looked. A spike of anger shot through her.
Raven had always secretly liked the way she looked, it was her fear over being rejected by others that had made her ask Hank to fix her form. However, since Cuba the resentment Raven had at always having to hide who she was had reached a breaking point. She was tired of having to hide it and wanted someone else to see her, the real her. She had thought Erik was that person, but now… Raven looked back at her, blonde-from's hand. Erik was her friend maybe he'd just had sex with her because he felt sorry for her, not because he actually liked the way she looked.
This insecurity gripped Raven very tightly in its hold, it might not have mattered as much if Erik hadn't been the one person who'd made her feel seen, had helped her see herself. And now it felt like maybe all that was a lie. She wondered if Erik would reject taking a shower with her the way he had in Detroit if she kept her blonde form?
"So Erik, we have some time, what should we do?" Raven played coy a little, testing him, or maybe testing her insecurities to see if they were real.
"I was going to read." Erik lifted his book a little to show her the cover.
"Okay, yes, but we could do something more interesting." Raven suggested and moved across to sit on the bed next to Erik.
"Like?" Erik asked unimpressed, he was probably a little tired too after the long drive.
"Like you're a man, I'm a woman, we're alone in a hotel, get the picture?" Raven tested.
"You are in the wrong gallery my dear," Erik said kindly while also completely dismissing her.
"What?" Raven frowned, not quite understanding Erik's response.
"Sex in Detroit was just a one time thing, you needed someone to explore your body with, we've done that, I wasn't really interested in an ongoing thing."
"Is it because I'm blue?" Raven demanded suddenly, she didn't want a ongoing thing either but her fear of being rejected because of how she looked, of other people thinking badly about her was taking control.
"No, why would it have to do with that?" Erik seemed genuine in his confusion.
"Then is it because you can't stand touching my reptile skin?" Raven suddenly felt a tightness in her chest, a wild part of her wishing Charles was there to sooth her and tell Erik off for making her feel this way.
"No," the confusion on Erik's face seemed to deepen, "Your skin is fine."
"Then what, is it because you think I'm easy, or to ugly to be easy? I don't have to be blue you know, I can stay like this?" Raven aggressively demanded. She didn't really want to get close to Erik in that way, not because she found him unattractive, she did (in the general kind of way most men were attractive) but rather because if he found her attractive it meant she wasn't as hideous as she felt, feared everyone thought she was. His rejection now was starting to make her think that all her fears had been right. Without Erik's validation she was as monstrous as she felt.
"Raven," Erik put his book aside and turned a little more to her, "my not wanting to sleep with you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with…" Erik hesitated for a moment as if he was going to say something then decided to keep it to himself. "With the fact that I don't want to see you that way. You are my friend, and I value that, more than I think you know. But that is as far as I want to take it. I thought you understood that what happened in Detroit was me helping you, not me saying I want to be with you."
Raven had understood that in Detroit, but then if Erik's rejection now had only to do with their interpersonal connection as friends, then why had Erik rejected sharing a bed or a shower with her?
"If that's all it is, then why didn't you want to take a shower with me?" Raven demanded, her heart rate fluttering in her agitation "If it had nothing to do with the way I looked?"
Erik's tone deepened, taking on that radicalizing nature that had enthralled her the night before Cuba when he'd made her feel alive, and then again on the Cuba beach when everything he said had felt so right. "Raven, I slept with you in Detroit because I thought it was what you wanted and would help you see yourself as attractive and desirable in your real form. I thought you just wanted to experience something with someone you trusted."
"So you slept with me for pity?" Raven felt a stinging in her eyes, she was a little embarrassed now.
"I don't pity anyone." Erik said. "I slept with you for the same reason I told you the night before Cuba that you didn't need to cover up your real form."
"Which was?" Raven demanded.
"You are so much more than you see yourself. You said you had always been too afraid of having that kind of intimacy because of your real form. You were asking me to share that moment with you, the moments where you explored your own body, your own agency with a safe trusted friend . Raven, I told you already, you don't need to be tamed. You don't need to conform to society's rules. You owe society nothing. If you want to explore your own agency and sexuality and share intimate moments with friends, those actions have no commentary on you other than the basic statement that you are Raven, Mystique, and this is you." Erik's eyes were holding onto Raven's. "My not taking a shower with you has nothing to do with you looking any particular way. I promise you that, I don't often like to share a shower with anyone."
Raven felt somewhat calmer after being held in the grip of Erik's personality and assured it wasn't about the way she looked. But she also still felt anxious, she still wanted his approval, his validation, to know, he and others didn't think she was terrible to touch, to look at, that she could be her real self. "Do you promise I'm all right blue?"
"Darling you should not have to be any other way." Erik's tone was a little softer, kinder now. He and Charles had that quality in common, when it really counted they both knew how to soften and be sympathetic to her.
Charles sat across the penthouse living room from his step-father, Henry Chesterfield, a cup of tea in hand.
"No, Charles, I can't say any of my business dealings would have put a P.I. onto you again." Henry sipped his own tea and pulled a slight face.
"Well I'm sure it's nothing, probably one of those bills mother forgot to pay and will come due soon enough." Charles took a slightly awkward sip of his own tea. Charles and his step-father Henry had always had a somewhat distant relationship. Henry was warm enough but had always spent more time with his clients in real-estate than he had with Charles, or Charles's mother. Though quite likable, Henry was just a little odd.
"How's that school of yours going, I've told all my friends to make donations, it's a great tax write-off." Henry gave a little smile.
"Oh um… quite well so far, still working on getting enrollment up but the donations are appreciated. The idea is no student will have to pay for tuition or books, that way they can just focus on learning." Charles turned to the only subject he and his step-father seemed to talk about these days. It was better than before when they'd sit in a room together and talk about golfing, which neither of them liked that much.
"Good, good, kiddies should only have to worry about learning… How's your sister?" Henry was clearly running through his usual topics to check in on before he ran to another meeting.
"Quite well," Charles said. He didn't know for sure, he had barely been able to talk to her about herself the few times she'd called over the last nine months. Charles missed her, and wished she'd come back. Before Raven had come into his life Charles had been alone a lot and he'd hated it. But since he'd convinced his parents to adopt Raven, she had been Charles's constant companion. He loved her very much, she was his baby sister and he always wanted to take care of her, make her life easy, protect her from all the dangers out there. Charles missed her, he really wished he could be selfish and just ask her to come home. He hoped Erik was taking care of her. There was a complicated part of Charles that wished Erik would come back too. Charles turned his mind back to his step-father, he didn't want to think about Erik right now.
"So um… it's been lovely to have tea with you kiddo, but I need to get to a meeting so um… let's do this again sometime?" Henry said, shifting from food to foot.
"Oh um… yes, have a good meeting Henry." Charles gave a forced little smile to his step-father and was jostled slightly by Henry's hand patting his shoulder before the other man left.
The penthouse, unlike many other places, was accessible from the street and had an elevator, so Charles was able to go back down without any assistance. It galled him a little how the entire infrastructure of pretty much any place he'd ever been was only made for the fit and able. It had not been something he'd really thought about until he could no longer take himself to town, or shopping, or even to a pub for a drink.
"Well, anything?" Hank asked scuttling around the car to open the passenger door for Charles. Charles ignored the fact that Hank was dressed like a passable impression of the Invisible Man. Hank was afraid his blue hairy form would be seen, so he had taken to wearing a balaclava, driving gloves and a tan trench coat with the collar up when out in public. In the dead of summer he had to be hot.
"No, my step-father doesn't know anything about it." Charles transferred himself into the car and Hank folded up his wheelchair and placed it in the back seat.
"Lets just go back to the estate then," Hank said climbing into the driver's seat as he checked his mirrors preparing to leave the on street parking.
"No, wait a moment," Charles said as he caught the familiar car three spaces ahead of them, it was the PI, also checking his mirrors preparing to leave the parking in front of the penthouse.
"What?" Hank turned to Charles slightly alarmed.
"Follow that car, I want to see where he's going." Charles put a hand to his temple and searched the man's mind quickly. The excitement of finding his target was washing around on the surface of the PI's mind. Charles couldn't go any deeper at that distance. "He spotted me coming out of the penthouse. I want to know where he goes to report."
Hank pulled out into traffic and followed the car as asked, but Charles could tell by his stiff posture he was unsure about doing so. The PI's car was not too hard to follow and Charles didn't get a sense that the PI was aware he was being followed. It was twenty minutes before the PI stopped outside an office building in the business district. The building was occupied by several companies and Charles quickly wrote down the address. Someone in that building was getting reported too. Who? Charles didn't know and he couldn't find out from this distance. "Alright Hank, that's all we're getting I think, let's go back to the estate." Charles leaned back in his seat wondering who was so desperate to know where he was?
1962 - C.I.A. FACILITY - UNDISCLOSED LOCATION
"We're going to need about five hundred dollars." Charles sat in Mr. Black's office opposite him. Erik stood silently by the door, hands in pockets.
"Why?" Mr. Black blinked.
"One of the individuals we think we've uncovered for this new task force works at a high end Gentleman's Club. Getting in and having a moment to speak with them might be… expensive." Charles shrugged.
"Oh." Mr. Black started filling out a check.
"Um, no, the C.I.A. is not giving you money to go to a strip club." Moira cut in from where she was sitting to one side.
"I assure you, we won't be looking at anything other than a Mutant who I think might be interested in being recruited. Our pool for such people is very small, and a very tall order to fill," Charles pointed out.
"Very well, but, um, bring back receipts, we need them for the finance department." Mr. Black tore the check off the booklet on his desk and held it out to them.
"Will do." Charles took the check and left the office with Erik to go pack their things for the trip.
Hank seemed to have seen them coming out of Mr. Black's office as the younger man hurried to fall into step with them. "I can't wait to meet other Mutants." Hank followed Erik and Charles down the hall. Charles paused a little unsure how to put the other man off coming. He'd only calculated the coast for two of them to get clothes and pay their way in. More than that, he was looking forward to spending time alone with Erik.
"Hank, listen," Charles started.
"What Charles is trying to say is he would feel better if you stayed here and watched after Raven. So she will not be all alone without anyone of her own kind around while we are gone." Erik slapped Hank in the shoulder. "Thanks."
"Oh, okay, yeah, I can um… keep her company." Hank blushed a little.
"Not too close." Charles frowned a little, not sure he wanted to leave Raven behind now.
"Good man," Erik said to Hank while he propelled Charles forwards by the arm.
Bag packed and now standing by the car Charles was still unsure about leaving Raven behind. "I'm not sure I like leaving her with Hank, he seems-"
"He's just excited to be around other Mutants. Raven will be fine." Erik opened the car boot and put his bag in.
"I know she will, but she is my baby sister, and I'm responsible for her, and for making sure she's taken care of." Charles put his own bag in.
"You wanna go baby sit her and I'll take Hank with me then shall I?" Erik's tone, more and more, was light and a little teasing. "It might kill him, but that's a small price to pay to make sure your sister isn't bored."
"Point taken, alright. Just get in the car." Charles got into the driver's seat.
They hadn't spoken about their sexual encounter from the other night, in fact Charles wasn't sure if they'd ever bring it up. It was safer not to, the government was still on the lookout for the Lavender Scare and he didn't fancy the idea of being publicly stripped of his Ph.D. only a few days after getting it, because of one little word or action made to overtly. Yet, as Charles drove them to their destination he kept thinking about the intensity of the encounter, before and after. It was not just the sex, you could just have sex with anyone. But there was something else, the conversation, the silence even, all of it had been fulfilling and so, so pleasant in a way that he hadn't experienced in a long time, and never to the degree he had with Erik.
Once they got to the city Charles found them a hotel and then they went and got appropriate clothes for going to such a club. "How does this look?" Charles asked once back at the hotel, smoothing out the newly purchased blazer he'd swapped out his usual cardigan for.
"Smashing," Erik said "you'll cause a buzz among the strippers."
Charles gave Erik one of the now starting to become common looks that said really ? or must you?. Erik gestured to the portable chess board he bought while in the city. "Fancy a game?".
"Yes, I think so. There is nothing better-" Charles didn't finish the phrase knowing Erik's response to it. "Well, chess is nice."
They set up the board, Erik noting, "It is a fun game, under the right circumstances it can even turn into a lark ." His eyes glanced up from the board and caught Charles with a knowing twinkle.
"Yes, well." Charles moved his chess piece, not engaging in the conversation.
"Are we just not going to talk about it then?" Erik looked back down at the board.
"Talk about it ? Erik, talking about it , it's… dangerous." Charles sighed.
"We are alone," Erik pointed out "And it is dangerous being a Mutant, but you're alright with that on full display. Moira said you almost got taken out and shot by the C.I.A. director for playing tricks with missile locations?"
"It caused a bit of a stir, yes, but that is completely different than being a Mutant." Charles said.
"How?' Erik frowned a little.
"It just is, it's… being a Mutant is… society does not have rules on being a Mutant. They don't even know we exist yet. What we did." Charles was circumspect even now. "That carries real world consequences which are very well spelled out." Charles had thought for a long time while still a teen that if he just tried to ignore what he wanted, maybe those feelings would go away. He'd dated women, had really wanted to like those women but he never was able to feel for them in the ways that really mattered romantically. Charles leaned forward a little more.
"It's not different at all." Erik was looking at him again. "Society won't accept you for your mutation anymore than for your sexuality. It's only a matter of time before there are laws regulating what kind of Mutants are allowed and which ones are not."
"That's not going to happen." Charles ignored Erik's accusation about his sexuality.
"It's already happened, who is allowed and who is not, it has not happened with Mutants yet but that is just a matter of time." Erik leaned a little closer. "We do not have to conform to society, maybe it's time for society to conform to us."
"Please, Erik. To speak about this openly as you are suggesting, do you know what could happen to us if someone overheard? Certainly we'd get dismissed from our jobs, we could also be arrested, most definitely for what we've done, years in jail, under some laws face castration. I could have my doctorate publicly stripped from me." Charles's mind went a thousand different places of what the fall out from being revealed could mean.
"What has society ever done for you?" Erik asked. "A long time ago society said you are no longer welcome and I have found I've done very well without it. This is me, this is who I am, and society can like it or not." Erik learned even closer. "You're about to go try and convince other Mutants to show themselves to a government organization, expose themselves to the kind of danger that could bring. How can you ask them to do that when you won't even say who you are?"
"I know who I am Erik, it's all nice and good to say you don't need society, but I'm afraid I still do." Charles waved a hand around the room as if gesturing to the thriving city around them. "Society is the reason we have things like, government, hospitals, universities. I have a Doctorate because of society, I have a sister and friends because of society. I don't want to leave it, I want to be embraced by it." Charles leaned forwards a little in his seat. "We all need others, it's how our species works and until we can reshape society to be better and fairer for all, Erik, we simply have to play by the rules."
"You're repressing your own sexuality to conform to society, is that who you are?" Erik asked.
"Without society we are nothing, little better than animals." Charles pointed out. "And I'm not repressing anything. You want to talk about something that if overheard, could send me to jail," Charles snapped. He didn't like how often Erik was openly accusing him of being a homosexual. There was a long silence between them and Charles started pondering the board trying to decide on his next move while he let the topic of their conversation swirl around the inside of his head. As he cooled down from the sudden heat that had entered their conversation. When he looked up he saw a little amusement playing across Erik's lips. "What?"
"I'll break you out if you get arrested." Erik smiled a little more obviously now.
"I'm so glad you find me going to jail, charged with gross indecency, so amusing, Erik." Charles sighed a little annoyed and moved his chess piece. "God, you can be such an ass sometimes."
"So is this where we stand?" Erik asked.
"You being an ass, yes," Charles could see Erik pause a moment before responding.
"So, you want to be open about being a Mutant and not about what we did?"
"For the time being." Charles found the words left a bitter taste in his mouth.
"No mention of it, or what we've done, larking about and all?" Erik raised an eyebrow.
"Yes," Charles felt a little annoyed now, Erik wasn't letting it go that he'd referred to them having sex as a lark.
"Even when we're alone, like now?" Erik's eyes flicked over Charles's face, lingering on his lips. Charles's blood that had been moving swiftly because of annoyance with Erik and anxiety over the conversation they were half having suddenly started moving faster due to entirely new reasons.
"Well…" Charles hedged and shrugged a little "Maybe when we're alone." His own eyes a little devilish "like now".
"Is the door locked?" Erik asked.
"First thing I did." Charles pushed himself out of his chair. Erik was already moving to meet him. They didn't have to speak or say anything about what it was between them. The intensity of it defied easy categorization. But what was said was in such a primitive, detailed, and deep way that it felt like it moved the very soul within Charles.
Tangled together, the sweetness of the afterglow, Charles and Erik both enjoyed being in the other's company. They'd both been alone a lot in their lives, Charles was still thrilled at meeting another adult Mutant, his own age, his own gender.
"Got a smoke love?" Charles smoked on occasion, social events, and after sex, but he rarely carried them with him.
"Bed stand," Erik moved as if to roll across Charles to get them.
"I got it," Charles gave Erik a little smile and pressed a hand to Erik's smooth shaved chest and pressed him back against the bed.
"Do not like me on you?" Erik's words where dripping with sex.
"I think we've already established quite well that I don't mind it." Charles reached over and found the cigarettes along with the other items from Erik's pocket that he'd placed on the bed stand.
Charles almost fell out of bed when he lifted the pack and found a silver Nazi coin staring back at him from where it lay on the dull wood surface. "My god!" Charles's voice was less shocked than he felt.
"What?" Erik sat up on his elbows "Is there a mouse?" Charles dropped the cigarettes and lighter on the bedspread and sitting up himself turned to Erik.
"Why is that " he spat the word with a little venom, "in here, where did you get it?" Charles's voice was not friendly. He wanted to pick the coin up and throw it away, but he didn't want to touch it. He found the hate symbols engraved on its surface repulsive.
"What are you talking about?" Erik sat up all together and looked past Charles.
"That damn coin!" Charles pointed, he felt very unrelaxed now, one horrible possibility chasing itself through his mind after another for why Erik would be carrying such a coin around with him.
"The Reichspfennig?" Erik asked, a little confused.
"Yes, if that's what you call the damn thing, why do you have it?"
"I'm not a Nazi," Erik quickly said, seeing the worst fears in Charles's eyes.
"Then why-" Charles started.
"It was given to me by a Nazi," Erik explained.
"Why did you keep it?" Charles felt his heart racing after the shock, he wanted answers.
"Because one day I'm going to give it back to him." Erik said.
"I don't understand." Charles felt cautious but he could tell there was more to the story.
"Klaus Schmidt, he gave me this coin right after he murdered my mother in front of me. I kept it, all these years, even when I could have spent it and needed the money because I swore I would live and I would find him." Erik reached out a hand and the coin floated to land on his open palm. "When I find Dr. Schmidt, I'm going to get justice and this reminds me why I'm going to find him."
"Are you saying Shaw, Shaw is actually a Nazi?" Charles felt a little stunned as he'd thought Shaw was a communist.
"It is the American alias he is currently using. I've been looking for him for over fifteen years. If you don't believe me Charles look inside my mind, make sure for yourself. But I'm no Nazi sympathizer, I never will be." Erik held out his left arm for Charles to see what he'd so easily overlooked during their last brief encounter, but now seemed so horrifyingly clear. Charles saw the numbers inked into the skin and he was sick knowing what those numbers meant.
"He was not a leader, he was just a camp doctor. Schmidt ran his experimental lab on genetics between what I remember him calling his grunt work. Who went right and who went left." Charles felt the edge of Erik's mind as the force of his emotions seemed too much to contain within himself. They were powerful enough that Charles was feeling them from being close in proximity.
"Oh, my friend." From where Charles was sitting next to the other man he reached out a hand and placed it on Erik's arm just above the elbow.
Charles didn't know all the details, it was not something that was commonly spoken about, but he had heard enough to know of some of the horrors that occurred at those places. "I'm so sorry." All the little pieces were suddenly clicking into place. Charles felt a deep sorrow, his or Erik's, it didn't matter at that moment, it was palpable and real, that was all. Erik's nightmare that Charles had experienced, he now understood it in all its horror, the way Erik must have relieved it that night.
They were both silent for a while, Erik leaned back against the headboard, after what was an unknown amount of time he asked "Do you want to finish the game?"
His voice was a little flat, maybe as if he was trying to distract himself, or pull himself away from wherever his mind had gone in the silence.
Charles glanced at where the game of chess was still sitting half finished. "Soon." Charles moved a little and put an arm around Erik's waist, "I thought it might be nice to just sit like this for a bit." Charles leaned into Erik and felt the pressure as his affectionate gesture was returned.