Chapter 16~

2006- Trier, Germany (Under)

There was so much noise. It was deafening. The sounds of a mystical battle surrounded her. Spells being shouted, fighting, weapons clashing, screams, grunts of pain. It felt like it would never be quiet again.

Dawn twisted fast as a bringer came down on her. She blocked the attempted knife slash, kicking it, before quickly regaining her footing and making a final blow with her sword straight through its chest. Pulling the sword out with some effort, she went to help another Slayer who was surrounded.

Before she could get to them, she looked over toward where she last saw Buffy. While Buffy was no longer there, Xander was. He was with two Slayers, wielding his favorite axe. It was only seconds. Time seemed to have stopped, but those few seconds, marked the beginning of one of the worst days of her young life.

It felt like slow motion, or at least, that's how it would be in Dawn's memory. He knew. He had to have. His good eye looked around, before quickly finding the eyes of one of his family. Dawn's. She could have sworn he nodded, sworn he mouthed the words 'I love you'. As he turned to fight another bringer, Dawn tried to shout. Tried to warn him. The Turok-Han came up so fast. Xander made a final slice, relieving the bringer of its head, before turning. Only to find his throat slashed.

She was frozen. The world was falling apart, and another of her family was taken down. Her surrogate brother, a piece of her heart, gone forever. Her baby blue eyes held a haunted stare. Before she could even breathe, she was knocked to the ground by a thrown bringer. Which was when she discovered Giles. Not ten feet from where she landed. He, too, had fallen. She immediately made her way to him, trying to find a pulse. After seeing the hole in his chest, and where it was located, she knew she wouldn't find one.

Tears were running freely down her face. Where before she could only hear the battle, now all she heard was a ringing in her ears. Her breath was coming in gasps. So much death, so much pain. Her heart felt like someone had reached in, grabbed it, and squeezed with so much force it popped.

Dawn wasn't paying attention, and while understandable, it soon became clear she needed to move. To rejoin the fight. She knew there'd be time to grieve later, if she survived that is, but she just couldn't budge.

All of a sudden the noise was back, and a pained cry came immediately to her right. She looked up to find Faith only feet from her, fighting two of the uber vamps. She had sustained a stab to her lower abdomen, and Dawn realized it was her fault. Faith had jumped in to protect her while she was losing it.

-x-

Present

"D!" Faith shouted, surprising everyone in the room. The group had been listening to Dawn's account of the last hellmouth battle they had. Not all at once, of course, but they had all been insistent about hearing everything, including their own deaths. Giles, especially, believed it important as if there was anything they could do to make sure not to repeat past mistakes, or if there was something to find that they had all skimmed over. Looking toward the source of the interruption, everyone gave Faith a curious look. While most of the time it may have been a look of annoyance, the tale had created an overall sadness in the room.

"Faith, if I may ask, what exactly has Dawn said to make you shout at her?" Giles asked grimly.

They had moved to the living room in anticipation to leave for the magic box, when it was pointed out it may not be a good idea to bring Dawn or Faith outside the house yet. CPS and cops would not be people they want to attract attention from, and they had already risked it moving them here in the first place. Plus, Dawn refused to leave Willow without company or protection, a choice Tara whole heartedly agreed with.

As they started to plan for the day, bringing home some books so everyone could research, they had also started in on what to search for, what to be ready for. Dawn's small story, once again, reminded them that there was so much they weren't prepared for.

Faith was giving Dawn an angry look, but she spoke softly now, carefully, "D, I told you, that wasn't your fault. There was so much shit going on. Red's wound wasn't your fault either. You need to stop with blaming yourself, kid."

Dawn looked surprised at Faith, as it had been a long time since Faith had called her a kid, but it was also because she still found it hard to believe it wasn't her fault, "If I hadn't…" tears were falling once again. Tara took hold of Dawn's hand and held it gently, giving her some of her calming energy in hopes to relieve her of some of the pain.

Buffy was having a difficult time taking everything in the last few days, same as anyone, but specifically that her kid sister was so much older now. Especially in moments like this, she wasn't always sure what to do anymore, and it didn't help that she was still so confused and angry about her own resurrection and problems. She took only a second before deciding these moments may cause a lot of confusion, but they were not ones where she had time to sort through it. Immediately she made her way towards her sister.

"Dawn," Buffy said gently while kneeling in front of her, hands on Dawn's which were gripping her knees, "I've been through a lot of battles, and I'm the poster child for blaming myself for people's pain because I was too slow, or I didn't pay attention enough, or a million other reasons as to why I was responsible. I understand the feeling, you know I do. But I need you to really listen."

Buffy took a deep breath, "All we can do, is do the best we can. The fact that you feel this so hard? It just tells me how incredible you are, how loving and kind, and you can't imagine how proud I am of you right now. While I always knew those things about you, what I didn't know, what I haven't allowed myself to know because I've been so busy trying to protect you from all of this, is how amazingly brave you are. You're one of the last survivors of a war that was literally ending the world. You've seen horrific things, gone through horrible pain, but you're still standing. You can say it was because everyone was protecting you, but in the end Dawn, it's impossible to watch someone every second. That scar on your face is the perfect example. Blaming yourself for what happens to others? It'll tear you apart. I should know," Buffy had tears of her own, but she continued, "If the roles were reversed, would you want someone you love blaming themselves? Would you blame Faith, or Willow?"

Dawn shook her head, gulping before breaking into a sob again. Buffy leaned up hugging Dawn to her, and for the first time since her return, Buffy didn't feel alone, didn't feel angry. She felt determined. Dawn wouldn't go through this again. She couldn't promise there wouldn't be more pain and death, but she sure as hell was going to make sure the outcome was in their favor. Which meant destroying the First, not just defeating it. Her sister would grow up, and she would do so in a world that wasn't on fire.

Giles watched the scene, listened to Buffy's words, and realized how stupid he had also been of late. He'd been so focused on not standing in Buffy's way, letting her learn to grow up on her own, that he missed something far more important. Buffy was a legend. She had already been through things no one in the world had at any age, and she had done it before she was able to legally drink. She would find her way in the world, whether he was there or not. What she wouldn't have, what none of them would have, is his support when they truly needed him if he left. His family, they deserved the best of him, and even more, they deserved time with the people they loved while they had the time.

This war had taken everything from Dawn and Willow. While he didn't know Melody very well, and Faith's past was against her, he trusted his family's judgement. Faith had already started to prove herself in just the last few days, and in the recounting of their lives in the future. He had to hold himself accountable as well.

He had some apologies to make and if they did manage to wake Willow, he felt her and Buffy especially deserved a rather lengthy one. Willow's mistakes of late couldn't just be tossed under the rug, and they all had a right to feel that hurt, that anger. However, he should have stepped in long ago. Instead of cautioning her and trying to dissuade her from magic altogether, he should have taken time to teach her himself. Which meant he also owed Tara quite the apology as well.

Tara's heart was breaking once again. She was surprised there was anything left to break at this point. Dawn's description made her want to hold her family and never let go.

"Obviously there is a lot more that we have to l-listen to, and most of it is not going to b-be fun," Tara started, standing up from her place next to Dawn, willing herself to stop stuttering for what she wanted to say, "There was most certainly a lot of pain, a lot of sadness. When you all accepted me, brought me into this family, and even before then, I saw such genuine love, friendship, strength. For awhile now, this family has been lost. The only reason we've been able to keep going, to save so many lives, was to help each other, to work together," she gave Giles a look, "and to BE together. No matter how we feel. Faith was right this morning. No one here let's anything out anymore."

"I said anger, T. No one let's out their anger in a controlled way, which leads to a lot shit, trust me…" Faith's eyes looked down as she remembered her past mistakes.

Tara nodded, "You did. And you were right, but we don't let anything else out either. Our pain, our sadness. At some point it became a rule that we don't talk about any of it. We don't let anyone know, and instead we suffer silently, letting everything build. Everything else that's happening is more important. I asked myself last night, and I g-guess Willow despite her being unconscious how we got so lost. I think Faith gave me the answer. Silence, and bottling things up. We need to do better. For each other and ourselves. This w-war… and the dangers we have to face around it? We can't win it like that. Full of anger and pain."

Buffy pulled away from Dawn, cupping her cheek and smiling at her before standing up, "Tara's right. I'll be the first to admit I'm guilty. Probably the worst offender of holding things in," she looked over to Dawn, "I'll do better, Dawnie. I promise."

Anya was all kinds of confused, "I don't understand how we got from Dawn blaming herself for something that was clearly not her fault to the need for talking about our feelings more."

Xander put his arm around her, still reeling a bit from Dawn's story, "I think it was generally Dawn keeping her feelings bottled up about how she blamed herself. Even when Faith told her not to, she's held onto it."

"Dawn, did you stab Faith or Willow?" Anya asked out of nowhere. Everyone looked at her with wide eyes.

Dawn looked horrified, "Of course not!"

Anya nodded, "Then why is it your fault? You just saw very painful things. Xander put his fist through a wall when Joyce died. Humans don't think clearly a lot in those situations. Xander always said that's why we need friends. Right, Xander?"

Xander beamed. He couldn't be more proud of the woman he loved, and his heart felt like it was growing more everyday with her, "Perfect, Ahn. Just like you." Anya beamed.

Dawn smiled through her tears, once again absolutely in awe looking around and seeing her entire family, her smile lessening slightly as she remembered one person was still missing.

-x-

After the event in the living room, everyone went to get ready, including the survivors first chance to get a real shower. Dawn's was relatively short, she couldn't stand on her own a long time just yet, but the look on her face when she came out was absolute bliss. Faith was wearing some of Buffy's clothes, while Dawn was wearing some of Tara's clothes, as her current wardrobe was now too small. The only issue being Tara was a bit more endowed than Dawn. Melody was short and a bit bulky so they had to have Xander grab a spare pair of his pants and a shirt. She had to roll the pant legs a bit, and it was just slightly large but not altogether uncomfortable.

The group finally dispersed, Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Anya headed for the Magic Box to root out research materials. Melody wanted to get to know the area a bit, since she had never been in Sunnydale. Tara was a bit skeptical of this, as she thought Melody should go to the Magic Box. The vampire had knowledge of the spell that Willow had performed, and Tara wanted to wake her up as soon as they could. Faith and Dawn didn't seem surprised by Melody's request, and the vampire promised to meet the others at the store within an hour.

This left Tara, Dawn, and Faith behind at the house to watch Willow. Tara had been torn, knowing she could probably be useful at the magic shop, but not wanting to be so far from Willow. In the end, Willow always won out. They were all upstairs talking, Tara and Dawn going through some of the books that the witches owned, when the doorbell rang through the house.

Tara tensed, wondering who may be at the door. Her first thought was someone checking on Dawn. Faith immediately picked Dawn up to take her to her own bed quickly, while Tara headed down to answer the door. Two policemen and a detective stood on the porch, as she saw through the peep hole in the door. Her eyes widened, especially when Faith started down the stairs.

Tara immediately shook her head towards Faith, who quickly backed up, making her way out of sight. When Tara figured it was all clear, she opened the door, "H-hello, officers. Can I help you?"

"Ma'am, are you Buffy Summers?" The detective asked.

"No. She's n-not home at the moment. I'm a r-roommate. Her sister has been feeling sick for a f-few days, and Buffy had to run an errand so I am keeping an eye on Dawn for her," Tara was wondering why there were here. Dawn, Faith, or something else.

The detective nodded his head, "Well, Ms…"

"Tara Maclay."

"I'm Detective Higgs. Ms. Maclay, are you aware that an extremely dangerous murderer is on the loose. One that Ms. Summers has a past with?" The detective kept a polite tone, but made sure she knew the seriousness of the situation.

Tara had to think quickly, "Have they been seen around here? Are Buffy or her sister in d-danger?"

"We haven't had any reports just yet, but with the past issues, we wanted to check in with Ms. Summers. This woman is very dangerous. Would you mind if we had a look around? To make sure you're all safe?" The detective gave her a look, clearly waiting to judge on her answer.

"Do you have a w-warrant?" Tara was respectful about the question, but serious.

The detective's eyes became slightly suspicious, "Do I need one?"

Tara wasn't stupid, so she laid it on thick with the caring and worried act, "Um, m-maybe when B-buffy's home you wouldn't, but um, it's not my house, and she put me in charge of her little sister. D-dawnie has already been through a lot this week with missing her friends and school while being sick. I h-hope you understand."

The detective nodded again, his eyes going more understanding, "I understand," he pulled a picture from his wallet, Faith's face clear as day, and a card. He showed the picture to Tara and gave her his card, "If you see this woman, don't try to do anything. Call 911. If you gather any information, call the number on the card. If you would, please have Ms. Summers give me a ring when she arrives home."

"Yes, Detective, I can do that. I'll have her call as soon as she has a m-moment," Tara nodded. The officers tipped their hats and the Detective nodded his thanks before turning to go back to their vehicles. She knew this wasn't going to be the last of them.

-x-

Melody's self made mission hadn't gone exactly how she wanted it to. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad one. Maybe it was a sign. She sighed, as she stopped someone to politely ask directions to the Magic shop.

-x-

The vampire entered the shop just short of an hour after they had left the house. She took a second to look around, even though the group had pulled their attention toward the bell when she entered.

"Ah, Melody. I do hope you were able to familiarize yourself with the area like you wished?" Giles asked.

Buffy looked at Melody skeptically, "Yeah, what's that about anyway?"

"You're telling me you don't wanna be familiar with a territory where your fighting things that can kill you?" Melody asked, no sarcasm or anger, just curiosity in her voice, "And ya, Mr. Giles. I did get some familiarity in. Thanks for askin'."

Buffy gave a shrug, "Good point, I guess. So sunlight doesn't bother you at all?"

Melody made her way further into the shop, impressed with the contents and beauty, "Holy water and crosses are ineffective as well. I don't need an invitation, though I prefer one only because my mother was pretty dedicated to manners." The vampire gave a smirk at the Slayer.

Giles was very interested in this conversation, and even wished to continue it, but now was not the time. There was no time to waste in their current tasks and this was not a top priority, "At some point, Melody, I wish to discuss you're situation if that's alright, but at the moment, have you any literature that you know contain anything on helping Willow, or information on the First?"

"You want info on the First, we've been through just about everything, though your most significant amount of knowledge lies locked up," Melody stated sadly as she started to look over the books. As nice a shop as this was, she wasn't excited to be here.

Xander looked over from his spot, "Locked up? Like, we need to send Buffy on a sacred quest for something?"

Giles rolled his eyes, and Buffy smirked silently. Melody smiled sadly, "Locked up as in the mind of someone in a coma." The room grew grim again, and Melody continued, "I have some ideas on Willow though."

As they worked for about half an hour, Buffy couldn't help but think about how much Dawn had been through, "Melody? How bad was it? When Dawn saw me die again? I can't help thinking that maybe I shouldn't ask her to relive that particular memory."

"She doesn't have to, she didn't see it," Melody replied, putting down the rather large book she had been studying. At Buffy's questioning look, she continued, "Faith didn't either. The exact details are locked up with the other information. The only one who saw you go down was Willow. It was the only thing she refused to go into detail about for Dawn or any of us. I'm not sure what happened, but if she refused Dawn, it couldn't have been pretty."

Buffy realized she'd been thinking about how much Dawn suffered, and forgot that Willow had endured the same years. She wondered exactly why Willow would keep such things to herself.

At that moment, the phone rang, making them all look up, "Thank you for calling the Magic Box! How can I help you spend your money today?"

Giles hung his head. He had been trying to work with Anya on the phone greeting for awhile. Though he had to admit it had improved from, 'Magic Box! Are you going to waste my time or buy something?'

Anya looked over to Buffy, "It's Tara. The cops just stopped by for a visit. They were looking for Faith."

Buffy gave a strained look, before her face went serious, "Well, it begins. CPS is next to check on Dawn, I'm guessing. Think they'll buy the whole 'time travel' thing?"

"Oh yeah, wouldn't worry Buffster. Teens these days are experimenting with time travel all the time," Xander gave his goofy grin to match her 'having to adult' pout.

Giles also looked to Buffy, "Yes, it seems to be the 'hip' new thing for the young people. I'm sure they deal with it all the time."

Buffy was not amused.

-x-

"She saw you, ya know?" Dawn said out of nowhere. The three had, once again, gathered in the witch's room, though a quiet had settled on them. Faith was fidgety, probably from being stuck inside. Dawn and Tara were looking through books.

Tara looked up, curious, "Who s-saw me? And when?"

Dawn smiled, "Willow. She saw you that day. At the student coffee shop."

"What?" This surprised Tara. Willow had never told her, and she couldn't begin to understand why the redhead would keep something like that.

"She told me she was sneaking glances at you in a reflection of one of the windows. She didn't know why, obviously," Dawn smiled, remembering how Willow had described the moment, "She couldn't stop sneaking peaks at your reflection. She never mentioned the sugar thing though. Her mind might have been on other stuff." Dawn giggled.

"Why didn't she ever tell me?" Tara's brows were furrowed.

Dawn started giggling more, "Cause Willow was so deep in thought and confused by her own behavior as she left the shop that she ran into a tree. She had to run back to the dorm and change her mocha stained shirt before the meeting started."

Faith burst out laughing, "Classic Red moment."

Tara rolled her eyes at Faith, but she was also chuckling. Her and Dawn were both on the bed with Willow, one on each side, and Tara set aside the book to reach for her love's hand. With her free hand she ran her fingers through red tresses, smiling down at Willow's face with tears sliding gracefully down her own cheeks.

-x-

Buffy, Giles, and Melody arrived back at the house late afternoon. Xander and Anya agreeing to come back around six, Anya upset at closing early as it was. Buffy directly went upstairs to check on everyone before quickly taking the card from Tara, and calling the detective on the downstairs phone. Giles and Melody took to the living room, setting down the boxes they both carried with several volumes of books.

Melody removed one instantly, looking to Giles, who looked very unhappy, but nodded none the less. When Buffy joined them again, they all went upstairs.

"How'd the call go, Buffy?" Dawn asked as they entered. She was on edge. Faith was now family, and a huge part of this. She didn't want to lose her to prison.

Buffy sat on the end of the bed where Dawn's feet ended, "He'd asked if I heard from Faith, seen any sign of her. Insisted on a patrol in front of the house because of past times when she's broken in and threatened my family," Buffy looked over to Faith with a raised eyebrow. Faith met her gaze, but there wasn't a challenge in it, or any kind of satisfaction. It was guilt and shame, which made Buffy all sorts of confused, "I managed to dissuade the patrol 24/7 but they will be checking around the block every few hours. No front windows for you, Faith. At least until we can figure out how to not have you arrested." Dawn was once again beaming at her sister. She knew she wasn't happy about Faith's presence.

"B, thanks. I know havin' me here ain't your favorite thing in the whole world, but I really am sorry, and my life is here with you until they take me down," Faith locked brown with hazel. Buffy just nodded in understanding.

"Did you f-find anything to help us with Willow?" Tara's patience had run out.

The Slayer, Watcher, and vampire all shared a look. Melody stepped forward, placing a book directly in front of Tara. Giles also stepped forward, "This particular volume encases many spells surrounding dimensions and realms. Since we can't begin to know where her realm is, if it is a realm, we will have to hope that Willow holds enough connection here for you to magically follow a path to her, as well as back. The spell is bookmarked for you to analyze it yourself."

"There's one more consequence to be aware of now, with the use of this spell," Melody jumped in fast, so to make sure Tara didn't get over excited before knowing the whole story, "Well, I guess it's not really a consequence normally, but in our case it will be, and it's kind if a biggie."

Giles jaw clenched. It wasn't his choice, but he hated this, "Yes. If we are going to successfully bring Willow back, this is the spell, but it's going to take more energy than you can give. It requires a second person as an energy source and anchor. Whoever that is, will be connected to you. While we don't know for sure, since this has never been used for this purpose, it may put the second caster in the same danger."

Tara's heart dropped. The key was right in front of her, but now someone else was at risk as well.

-x-