Just for reference to all my readers, again thank you for all the wonderful feedback. However, for the future of this story, I'm making this all up from the top of my head. Doing the best I can to make some sense at least. Some leniency may be required for the whole time travel bit…. Lol. Also, heavy angst warning.

Chapter 12~

By the time Buffy had finished her shower, Tara had done a basic wipe down of Willow's exposed skin. Buffy helped Dawn down the stairs just as Anya and Xander were bringing up a just woken Melody from the basement and Spike was bringing in a full paper bag.

Giles immediately clenched his jaw at the sight of Spike and his tone was unfriendly, "What is it you want, Spike? Buffy's currently busy, and shouldn't have to deal with you as well."

"Ya, well I got news for you, Rupert. She asked me to come by," Spike smiled at Giles obvious flash of anger, "I'm deliverin' blood. She filled me in a bit, asked me to pick up some pints, so 'ere I am. Stuff that in your bonnet."

Buffy was just getting Dawn down the stairs, "Can we all just get along for two seconds? Got enough going on here."

Spike and Dawn's eyes met and his eyes softened, "Well, I can't call you niblet or lil' bit anymore, can I? You feelin' alright there, Dawn?"

"Getting by," her answer was short. She was well aware he was still the unsouled monster that attacked Buffy just before Dark Willow, but she was conflicted on how to feel as she remembered how much he'd done for them, for her, at this time, without a soul. Deciding on cold but civil for now due to also remembering Buffy's state of mind during this time, she gave him a strained smile, "You?"

He felt the tension, the bit of hostility, "Right. Doing well myself, smokes, blood, being evil. The usual."

As the unusual exchange was making everyone uncomfortable, Buffy opted to keep moving Dawn into the living room. Xander and Anya followed with Melody, though she seemed to need less help after the stairs. Spike moved toward the kitchen with the blood before making his way back into the living room with everyone.

Faith was in a chill position in the recliner, Tara, Dawn and Melody took the couch up, Giles in the small armchair next to Tara. Xander stood behind Anya who was sitting in a chair she borrowed from the table, while Buffy stood by the stairs and Spike stood by the fireplace.

"Right, well D, where do we wanna begin? Cause I have no fuckin' clue," Faith looked to Dawn wondering if she wished to start from before the war.

Melody raised a hand at this, "Before we start this, I'm just going to fill in a couple things, so everyone understands some important points here, k?"

The room was silent, looking toward Melody with their full attention and she paused as she realized all eyes were on her and waiting, "Right. Sorry. Not used to so many people anymore. First off, the timeline is officially broken. Us being here, all the events we have already interrupted, this very conversation, has already changed things. It's impossible to tell how much, or what's going to happen from here."

"That is true. Nothing will be exactly the same, even if certain things still happen, they won't happen like they did. Too much has already changed," Anya stated, backing up Melody's claim, "Plus, none of them will get any older until we catch up to the point they left, no matter what's changed."

Buffy looked at them both in confusion, "So Dawn's just gunna be twenty-three for eight years? And look exactly the same? I mean, what if she cuts her hair? Or gets another scar?"

Melody decided to let Anya take the helm, as it sounded like she may know as much if not more about the situation. Anya nodded, "New stuff will happen. Dawn's hair isn't just going to break your scissors if you cut it. And they all WILL probably change as time starts to move. Best example I can give for that would be the scars, cause Dawn being tall isn't changing regardless because human nature. If we get to a point in the timeline where they got one of their scars and they don't obtain it, or they get a different version, it'll disappear or change to fit now."

Giles gave a worried look, "This is very concerning. What about death? If the timeline changes as we continue, and one of them would happen to change to paths where they would die…."

Melody jumped at this point, "That won't happen. We are creating the new timeline, while the old is gone. It's like we are suspended currently in a sort of physical limbo? Changes we make, will have an effect on the timeline we've lived, but only during the time we've caught up to. If Faith's life path changes, and she is supposed to end up dying at some point in the future, it won't happen until that point comes. She's not just going to keel over. If that makes any sense…"

Xander emphatically shook his head 'no' while Giles and Buffy looked as though their brains were trying to solve world hunger. Dawn decided to see if she understood, "If I obtained a scar on my hand today, and the events having changed now where I didn't do it, the scar would be gone? And the scar on my face I get seven years from now won't disappear until the time I got it, if I survive and don't repeat the incident that caused it?"

"Correct." Anya said, smiling wide at Dawn, "Yay! You are now understanding time travel! Good job."

Spike had both eyebrows up, "Well that's all fine and dandy, but I've still got no idea what your sayin', and from the look on nancy Watchers face, the Slayer's blank stare, and the bloody confusion on monkey boy's mug, they don't either."

Giles glared at Spike before addressing the group, "Maybe we should address the problems that are going to happen regardless, and move on from there. Such as The First obviously being a large issue, and how we're to keep Willow alive until we can find a way to awaken her."

"Oh that won't be a problem. Willow is suspended. The casters don't change at all, even when the timelines catch up to each other," Anya filled in.

"So wait. The Willster is just going to live forever until she wakes up or a big bad comes around?" Xander was shocked, "She doesn't need food, water, anything? All the people who have cast this spell are still alive?"

Anya looked up at her fiancé, shaking her head, "None of them are alive." At everyone's questioning looks, she continued, "Some die for no reason, no medical signs of anything. There are theories for that. Then others have died from the people around them not wanting them to be stuck in whatever hell they may be in. I believe humans call it 'putting them down' or 'out of their misery'."

Tara's horrified look was echoed throughout the room, "No! Not an option here! I'll find her, I'll wake her up!"

Dawn put a supportive hand on her shoulder, "There's no way anyone here would even think to do that, Tara."

Buffy also spoke up, "That is so not plan A. Or even Z."

"It's not a plan at all. It's an anti plan. I'd rather sleep with Spike!" Xander put his opinion out there, getting him a round of looks of sheer horror. Spike was unsure whether to look offended by the implication or disgusted at the thought of him and Xander together. Dawn just did everything she could to avoid looking at Xander or Buffy for the moment.

Melody decided to get everyone back on track, "Ok, to sum it up. Everyone now knows the future isn't predictable any more, Willow is currently in a complete holding pattern physically and mentally, we aren't killing Willow, and Xander isn't sleeping with Spike ever. Did I cover everything?"

"No. Red may not be able to die, but that don't mean she can't be killed. The First is gunna know that shit. She'll be a fuckin' target for damn sure," Faith unraveled the situation further.

"I'm not sure we are doing this in the right order," Giles spoke up, his worry for Willow's safety prominent, but unable to feel useful without the knowledge of what they were up against, "What exactly has the First been doing?"

Buffy caught on to Giles point, "Ya, I'd like to know that, too. Last time all it did was haunt and mentally torture. Since you guys all seem to know what it is, I don't see that working like it did three years ago on Angel."

The doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of dinner, which Xander went for immediately. After about five minutes, everyone had a paper plate and pizza, Faith and Dawn having devoured two slices each in a matter of minutes, while Melody was sipping from a closed mug instead, as it had been days since her last hunt, and only rats to find.

Dawn realized the silence was because they were all waiting for an explanation, so she set down her third slice, half eaten, and took a deep breath, "The First waged a war against the Slayer line. It plans to kill all the potential Slayers before snuffing out Buffy and Faith last. It uses the hellmouths to raise an army of ancient vampires. When that was clearly not working after Willow did a spell to call all the Slayers into their power, it stepped up its game. The fourth major battle we lost most of our people. It decided to bring in dark mages, on top of its usual order of Bringers and Turok- Hans. The survivors died in the year following the battle from various wounds and attacks, or are currently in this house."

Wide eyes came from all the scoobies. You could have heard a pin drop, the silence was palpable. Giles was first to break through his stunned reaction, "A war? Against the Slayer line? Dear lord! What's this about Willow calling all the Slayers? That's…. It's unheard of!"

"And we thought it was all crazy when Kendra showed up. You kooky Slayers these days, no respect for generations of traditions and rules," Xander was quite pale, bringing his patented humor to the conversation in order to keep conscious and standing.

Anya looked up at him, "Actually, if you listened, it's the witch this time who didn't feel like following the rules. Which seems to be a theme with Willow."

"My best friend, who once thought being late to class was a federal crime, bending the forces of the earth to turn a bunch of baby Slayers into warrior super hero machines," Xander stated, eyes wide at the whole scenario, "I hope she doesn't feel like still being angry at me for stealing her Barbie."

Tara's thoughts were currently running at lightening speed. The implications for the last day had set her up to being just as powerful as Willow. Every time they found out more about the future that her love had been through, it seemed she was doing something more insane then the last, "H-how did she even do that?"

"Axe. Super powerful, badass Slayer axe. B got to it, stole it underneath the First's nose, apparently played halvesies on its super minion Caleb, then came up with a plan for Red to go 'Abra cadabra!'. That's how you create a Slayer army," Faith shrugged before shoveling another slice of pizza into her mouth. For the moment, all the physical pain this spell had caused was worth it. She missed pizza.

Giles was cleaning his glasses furiously, his brain trying to contemplate his next questions, his next moves, "I need to contact the council immediately. They should know."

"Yes, and while you're at it, have them send every potential they know about here, and to run away from the council building immediately. Unless of course they feel like being blown up," Dawn filled in.

"Blown up?" Buffy looked at her sister as if she had three heads, "They get blown up?!"

"Yup. The First likes to be all grand displays," Dawn nodded at Buffy, "They go up in flames. Here's the problem with us knowing all of this, though. The First obviously knows it all, too. So we have no idea if it's following the same plans, but faster. Or maybe it'll just completely change up its game. We might see mages at this battle. I will say I agree with Faith. Willow was probably the biggest reason we made it through that last battle at all. We won, barely. It won't want her to wake up."

"Makes the other bird a target as well, doesn't it? She's no slouch at the magics. Buffy mentioned a bit of what went on after I left when she asked me to swing by the blood shop for Butch over there," Spike nodded toward Melody.

Melody simply raised an eyebrow at him, before she replied, "Thanks for that, Bleach," she poked back, "He's correct, though. Tara's probably going to be a target as well. It didn't have to worry about her before, and it can't play with her like it tried to with Willow."

"What did it try to d-do to Willow?" Tara's voice was filled with concern. The more of this that came to light, the more she felt as if things were spiraling.

Dawn came back into the conversation, "Willow has been connected to the dark magics. It used that connection to attempt some sort of corruption on her. It didn't work, but it wasn't fun."

"That would take quite a bit of dark magic connection to attempt such a maneuver as corrupting her," Giles was giving Dawn an unsettled look, "What aren't you telling us? It's clear that there is something, and Faith has been more than vocal about her refusal to give us the story as she 'wasn't there'."

Dawn looked down, avoiding eye contact with anyone. This wasn't an easy subject for her in a normal situation. Now she was going to have to re live one of their worst nightmares. Tears came back to sting her eyes, before sliding down her face, "Willow got worse after Tara left, and thanks to Amy's," she spat the witch's name, "influence, she became completely addicted to magic. Going so far as to see a dealer named Rack."

Once again, the room was silent, the only sound was Faith's nervous foot quietly tapping the floor. Buffy noticed this, knowing this couldn't be the worst of it if her darker half was fidgeting, "A dealer? There are dealers? Like with drugs? And how did Amy have anything to do with this? She's a rat."

"Willow finally turned her back," Dawn's disdain for this detail evident.

"Oh yeah, dark magic has a very addictive quality. Though, unlike drugs, quitting it isn't as simple as drugs," Anya spoke once more.

Xander raised an eyebrow, "From all the after school specials, drugs aren't simple to quit."

"Yes, Xander, drugs are quite difficult to come off of once an addiction has set in, but dark magics aren't drugs. It's not just withdrawal symptoms," Giles spoke sadly, wondering when things had gotten so bad, how he could have intervened, "There's a door you open with these types of magics, and it doesn't close. That magic, that essence, it's always a part of her now. With drugs, you get it out of your system, all that's left to fight is the mental part of addiction. The drug is no longer physically there. Magic, well, it's always there. No matter what she does. As of late, she's become ignorant, selfish, and altogether idiotic. It doesn't bode well for whatever stupid stunt we're going to hear about. She's become a danger, and it sounds as though she hasn't learned any lessons in the years."

At this, Dawn jumped up, surprising everyone, as she slapped Giles so hard, the sound echoed in the room. Both Dawn and Giles were wincing in pain, as the move had come to cause painful shock waves through Dawn, "Shut up! You don't anything! You don't know what we've been through, what she fought for, what I've seen, anything!" Dawn was practically yelling through gritted teeth.

Both Buffy and Faith had gotten between the two, Faith facing Giles, checking his face, "Damn, she left a print, Jeeves. I wouldn't be insulting Red in front of D. That's a major no go."

Buffy was leading Dawn back onto the couch, the look of surprise still on her face, "Alright, how about we refrain from insults or hitting each other until we hear everything huh? This isn't middle school. Let's try to do the adult thing?" she pinned a look at Dawn before giving an even angrier look at Giles.

Now visibly shaking at the image Dawn was painting, and the sudden move to protect Willow's character, Tara wondered if she wanted to know anymore. It couldn't be much worse, could it?

Dawn looked to Tara, and as much as she, herself, didn't want this discussion, didn't want to cause her anymore pain, the rest of the group was looking toward her to continue, "After getting me into a car accident because of her addiction, she quit. It took months, but she went cold turkey. Not only earning Tara's trust back after months, but Tara actually came back to her. That was the beginning of May, 2002."

Seeing Dawn's fear increase, and more tears welling up into her eyes, Buffy couldn't help but go into protective sister mode, immediately moving forward and crouching in front of her once again, "Dawn, it's ok. No one here is going to be angry with you, and we're here for you. Just tell us the best you can."

"I'm not afraid of you guys being angry with me. Willow…. She isn't the person I have to describe. The Willow upstairs has not only kept me alive, but has kept me sane. The fourth hellmouth battle was over two years ago. Melody and Faith have been amazing and become family, but Willow, she was my strength. She somehow still made me laugh, made sure I had food even when she didn't, made sure my life was as normal as she could make it in the situation we were in," Dawn looked straight into Buffy's eyes, "She had to be you, she had to be Tara, Giles, Xander. I'm not worried you'll be angry at me, I'm worried you'll hate HER." Dawns eyes became angry as they fell on Giles again.

Buffy followed her line of sight, before tenderly taking her sister's cheek and moving to make their eyes meet, "It's obvious that Willow has come a long way. No one here is going to judge her."

Tara decided to speak up as well, as she knew how much Dawn adored her and Willow's relationship, probably fearing that she may ruin things forever. While the witch didn't know how things would play out, she would never stop loving Willow, "If Willow were still so much a part of your life, and everyone not only allowed it, but continued to love her even after whatever she did, then why would you believe we wouldn't still love her now? She's family, Dawn, and no matter what, we will love and support her, do everything we can to wake her up." Sapphire eyes met Dawn's saddened and worried gaze, joining Buffy in pouring every ounce of understanding and love she could muster into that look.

"It's not a day I like to remember. I guess, two days," Dawn's baby blues looked to the ceiling, trying to hold back more tears, "I came home, the door was open and no one was there. I called out, but there was no answer. Buffy's room was empty, so I went to Willow's room." Her eyes closed as if the pain was just too much, "You were there, Tara. Except… you were gone. You'd been shot. I stayed with you, for hours. I couldn't leave you alone."

Tears were rampant throughout the room, even Faith was wiping away a stray one. No one spoke a word, or made a single sound, "Buffy took me to Spike's, but he wasn't there. Clem was watching his place. Said he had taken off."

As Dawn continued her story, replaying events she was there for, and retelling the ones she hadn't been, the mood in the room moved to match the tale, and Willow's spin into darkness. The hardest parts to listen to were Willow's threats against Dawn, her fight with Buffy, and finally, almost killing Giles. Both Xander and Anya were especially curious as to why Anya was once again a demon, but decided now was not the time to ask such questions, leaving it for a later time. When Dawn reached the end, underlining Xander's success in stopping the apocalypse and Willow's broken spirit, Spike was even openly crying.

Xander was completely zoned, hearing about what Willow had done, the lengths she had gone to, the lines she had crossed, also combating with the revelation that it was him who stopped her. It was his love for his best friend that saved the world this time. Somehow, that was both painful and comforting, as he continued to wrestle with his thoughts.

Tara was completely lost. She swallowed hard, giving Dawn a squeeze on her knee before getting up and heading onto the porch. She needed to breathe fresh air.

Buffy took Tara's spot, holding Dawn gently, "It's alright, sweetheart." Unknowingly mirroring the move she had made when she discovered Dawn with Tara's body. She just held her, and let things wash over the rest of the group. Her own thoughts running wild, wondering how the Willow she had sat next to on a bench over six years ago, the one who had asked her if she wanted her to move, had fallen so far. Had gone through so much pain and become so lost. She felt partly responsible as she seemed to call on her friend for her magic skills often, but also knew Willow had made her own choices, dug her own hole. How had they all gotten so turned around?

-x-

After awhile of sitting on the porch, arms crossed, her thoughts in every direction, Tara made her way back inside, only glancing at the living room enough to realize Dawn was no longer there. She looked up the stairs to see Buffy making her way down them, "She's pretty exhausted. I put her back in her bed. Everyone is tired. I think Giles is in the kitchen calling the Council."

Tara nodded, not responding, but making her way upstairs after giving a wave to everyone in the living room. She paused in the doorway, looking at Willow. The redhead was peaceful looking, as if she were sleeping. Making her way to the chair by the bed again, Tara put her hands together and leaned her chin on them against the bed.

"I don't even know what to say. I don't know whether to be angry, or sad," Tara took in a shaky breath, "You threatened Dawn's life, not once but twice, yet she's defending you to the point that she slapped Giles. You've almost ended the world, killed a man, but you've since defended it, and suffered severely by doing so. From what Dawnie said, you've done all of this with a shattered heart."

Letting out a sob, her eyes misted and full of anguish, "What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to feel? You're in a coma, giving up everything of yourself to try and win this war and keep us safe, but then I'm hearing you tortured Giles and tried to destroy everything. How did you get so lost Willow? How did WE get so lost?"

"I said she was insane," there was no humor, malice, or judgement in Melody's voice. She stood at the door, understanding hazel eyes meeting Tara's, now, angry gaze.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, exactly?" Tara questioned the vampire.

Melody motioned her wish to enter the room fully, Tara shrugged. She made her way into another chair in the room, a few feet from the bed, just staring at Willow. Finally, she spoke again, "I'm basically saying, that her love and loyalty go so far, are so ingrained into her, that her logical response is not to care about consequences. Which is what made her snap. You died, she lost the major link holding her in reality, she went psycho. I don't mean that as an insult. It's actually remarkable and devastating at the same time. That's just how I see it, anyway. This also doesn't excuse her selfish and… difficult behavior with the memory spells. Those were just her way of trying to keep things in her own control. A control she believed she was losing. Giles wasn't wrong. It was dangerous, arrogant, stupid, and inexcusable."

Tara remained silent, not quite sure how to respond, so instead chose patience, waiting for Melody to continue. Melody stared at Willow, her eyes full of memory and emotion, "I was just a regular person. Been through the trauma of losing my family, didn't wish to be close to anyone. Then I met Rose, who turned out to be much like Willow in a lot of ways. Long story short, Love, betrayal, magic addiction, death."

"You're saying your story is exactly like ours?" Tara questioned not quite understanding the point Melody was trying to make.

"No," Melody shook her head, "Major differences. I stayed, where you left. There's no right or wrong there. Maybe I should have left, maybe you should have stayed. That doesn't matter at this point. What's done is done. You were unsure of how to feel, though. My opinion? Look at it from a perspective of the chances you have, and take it one step at a time. Everyone has darkness, Tara. So the decision you gotta make is whether or not you can live with HER darkness, now that you know the worst of it."

"Could you?" Tara stared at her.

Melody looked toward the ground, "I'll never get the chance to find out. I want to say I would have continued to love her no matter what, work with her to make things better in this life because that's what love is. She's gone though. I left after a bad fight about magic, went for a walk at night, got bit by a vamp, it took pleasure in forcing its wrist in my mouth to get me to shut up, so I bit back. Drew blood. Next thing I remember is waking up thirsty as hell, Rose's body next to me. Not a thing wrong with her, but she was gone. I was alive, but a demon inside of me. I want to say I would have done anything to make it work, but we never truly know what we will do until we are faced with that situation."

Tara took in her words, looking to Willow, her love for the redhead was unquestionable, that would never change. Opting for an answer to a question she now had rather than confusion she looked back to Melody, "How did Rose do that? How could she keep you alive like that?"

"If you find the answer to that, let me know, huh? Cause no one else seems to know. I've been around the world. I know about magics so advanced, even give Anya a run for her knowledge, trying to find an answer. Yet, I wasn't interested in magic itself, just finding out what happened. Basics escape me, and I don't really like having anything to do with it," Melody confessed, "Willow never let you go, but she's also been through enough, seen enough, blames herself so much, that you don't need to fear pressure from her when you wake her up. In fact, if you decide you CAN live with her darkness, you may very well need to remind her that it's not just her decision, but one you need to make together."

Tara's brow furrowed at this, "What do you mean?"

"She doesn't think she deserves anything good anymore, Tara. She's been locked in her own home made hell for years. She fucked up, she knows it more than anyone down stairs. Why do you think Dawn hit Giles? Cause Willow wouldn't have stood up for herself, even though she's done so much to redeem her mistakes," Melody's hazel met Tara's sapphire, "She never had an issue with the consequence of this spell because she believed she deserved it, deserved hell. For what she put everyone through, did to everyone, did to you."

"How do you know all this? Did she tell you?" Tara questioned.

"No. I didn't tell you my whole story, nor will I. At least not now. I can't guarantee anything I'm saying is correct, Tara. Just educated guesses," Melody rose from the chair slowly, still stiff and in pain, "You have every right to feel betrayed, angry for what she's done to you. What she took from you. Just understand that it may benefit you to get your anger out, then let it go before you make the decision whether to forgive and love again or not. Maybe difficult, because you should also probably do so before you wake her up. There are a couple of theories as to where she is. If it's the second one…. Well, I'd just figure out how to let go of your anger beforehand."

Melody exited the room, leaving Tara with both answers and new questions.

-x-