Hello friends! This is your last stop before the story fully earns an M rating. The next chapter will basically be a montage of spicy times.
Thank you so much for those who have stuck with this story. It hasn't quite gone where I originally envisioned, but I think I am happy with the journey so far.
As always, reviews make my heart feel light and keeps the motor running, so to speak.
Chapter Text
Selections From the Private Journal of Eliza Doolittle
10 April 1938
I find I am feeling well enough to begin this again. Spent entire convalescence at 27A, which feels like my true home. Henry was attentive and almost sweet – we spent most days in the garden with Pickering as a chaperone. We read a great deal, and my list has shrunk. I am now back with Mrs. Higgins, and I feel quite homesick. I will be resuming classes and returning to St. Ignatius the Tuesday after Easter.
11 April 1938
Nothing of note. Am only using this to record the books that remain on my list.
Les Liaisons dangereuses
Jamaica Inn
The Mysteries of Udolpho
Wuthering Heights
Lady Chatterley's Lover
Brave New World
The Sun Also Rises
Persuasion
Les Miserables
Titus Andronicus
The Time Machine
Snarl of the Beast by Carroll John Daly
I confess I blushed a little while reading Ulysses but not nearly as much as Henry did when I found some of the action in the passages confusing and had to seek clarity. I don't think I care much for James Joyce.
17 April 1938
Easter at Mrs. Higgins' home. Henry attended but Colonel was away attending matters in Oxfordshire. Henry informed us that he would be limiting his client list due to a new role via The Home Office, but did not reveal many particulars, not even when we were left alone after dinner. I understand that this role will put limitations on the already scant time we are able to spend together.
20 May 1938
I share a birthday with a new little chap. Alfred Doolittle II was born in the wee hours of this morning. He is fat and healthy, and his mother made it through without much drama. I spent the early afternoon at hospital admiring him and congratulating all. Henry is not quite convinced that Alfie is the most handsome little man, and made the blunder of comparing him to a cross between an angry old man and an apple in earshot of Grace. We were both ejected from her room. I do wish he could figure out a way to contain the thoughts that need to stay inside where it's safe.
19 June 1938
I feel tremendously bad for the lapse in my duties to you, dear journal. These past few months have been nothing but studying for exams, taking exams, managing behaviors, and more studying. Oh and gardening. Mrs. Horrocks (formerly Miss Smythe) says there is an ill wind blowing and we must prepare for the worst. It keeps the children out of doors most days, which is quite nice. I have also helped install vegetable gardens at Mrs. H and Henry's home. Colonel Pickering would like us all to go on holiday to his home in Oxfordshire. Mrs. H and I can be spared, but Henry seems chained to the Home Office.
25 June 1938
Holiday in Bladon, where Colonel Pickering has a home in the country. It is the most grand thing I have ever seen, though he and Mrs. H claim that it is quite modest, as far as country manors go. Modest. I had a very hard time not laughing in their faces. Remind me to never give them a tour of my old flat in Lisson Grove – I counted no less than three gables and I lost count of how many bleeding fireplaces!
The Colonel was very proud of his farm, but I enjoyed the gardens the most on account of there being no cows in the gardens. I have gone my whole life without seeing a cow up close, and I'm envious of the version of me that was ignorant of them. I have never smelled anything quite as foul as Pickering's prize Red Polls, and they are certainly not 'angelic beauties' as he says. No angel bellows like a red banshee with a stomach ache.
My book list at present:
Les Liaisons dangereuses
Jamaica Inn
The Mysteries of Udolpho
Wuthering Heights
Lady Chatterley's Lover
Brave New World
The Sun Also Rises
Persuasion
Les Miserables
Titus Andronicus
The Time Machine
Snarl of the Beast by Carroll John Daly
26 June 1938
No Henry as expected. I would have liked to have shown him the library – it's so much more grand than the one on Wimpole Street. I expressed this to the Colonel, and he got all sly-like and said he had a feeling Henry and I would be spending quite a bit of time in the library sooner rather than later.
31 July 1938
Henry made an unexpected visit to the farm. He, Colonel Pickering, and I took a walk about the rooms of the house, and the two of them seemed to be working something out that I was not privy to. It seemed like a lot of remodeling talk (how many beds to a bedroom, how many bedrooms…)until we were in the assembly room, and they began discussing how many desks could fit within, and where a chalkboard would be mounted ("Just in case", Henry said, but would not elaborate). Medium row over withholding information from me. Pickering gently explained that in case things go pear-shaped, there is a plan in place to move St. Ignatius to the countryside for a while.
Henry and I will be able to spend a little time alone this evening, as the Colonel is taking Mrs. H out for dinner. It will be very respectable, as we plan to read together in the library.
5 August 1938
Les Liaisons dangereuses
Jamaica Inn
The Mysteries of Udolpho
Wuthering Heights
Brave New World
The Sun Also Rises
Persuasion
Les Miserables
Titus Andronicus
The Time Machine
Snarl of the Beast by Carroll John Daly
Behold! Progress on the list. I have become quite brown these past few weeks, despite Mrs. H's warnings to stay so long in the sun. I cannot help myself – I have become quite the outdoorswoman. There is so much to occupy my time here, and I've become such good friends with the head farmer, that he has promised me a pick of Lucrezia's next litter – she is a Border Collie and quite the loveliest little queen on the entire farm. I've not been around many dogs, but I am quite certain Lucrezia is the most intelligent, sweetest, most loyal girl, and her puppies will be darlings just like her. Mrs. H declared there would be no puppies, dogs, or indeed any furry creatures in her home. I suppose I will have to marry Henry as soon as the next litter is weaned, so I can keep one at 27A haha.
30 November 1938
There is so much to do at St. Ignatius lately that my head barely hits the pillow before I'm dead asleep. We have had to reorganize some rooms to accommodate a small influx of children from Germany and Austria, who have been staying with Bertie and Honoria. The poor dears are quite alone, and only Honoria seems to be able to converse with them fluently. Recently, I asked Henry to teach me a little German; so far he's only been able to spare enough time for a few useful phrases and to send me off with a pocket guide. Colonel Pickering is often at the farm, strategizing for what believes will be food shortages in the future.
25 December 1938
Christmas is a bit of a somber affair. Mrs. H is still quite morose over Lillian, Robert, and the children staying in America for the holidays ("It isn't safe," Lillian says), and most of the household has come down with a cold. Henry has refused to stop fussing over me, even though I am nowhere near as ill as I was this past Spring. He and the Colonel have been very grim lately.
10th April 1939
The Andersen shelters have been installed here and at 27A. I expected Mrs. H to complain about it ruining the aesthetic of her gardens (It's quite large and not at all elegant) but she did not. Indeed, she has been asking the household to practice two times daily. A shelter will be built at St. I; the staff have been putting together protocols for school drills.
10 May 1939
More bad news, I'm afraid. Just about every one of the girls from school has a chap that will need to go up for six months of military training as per the new act. A rash of engagements has ensued, and my Summer is beginning to look quite chock full of weddings, and invitation after invitation has begun to roll in. Some seem to be simple affairs, but of course, Edith is shooting for one last grand todo because her beau has an obscene amount of money (according to Lulu). Henry looked over the invitations and informed me he would try to be my escort, but the only feasible one would be Edith's wedding in Brighton.
20 May 1939
I am one year older, whether I am one year wiser remains to be seen. Much of the day was taken up by Little Alfie's first birthday, and then two (!) courthouse weddings. One for Lulu and one for Mary, so I was quite forgotten until I arrived home to find a gift of caramels and gloves from Henry waiting for me. I was too fatigued to call with thanks but will do so in the morning.
1 June 1939
I am officially a proper schoolteacher. We all celebrated with dinner at Veeraswamy's as per Colonel Pickering's suggestion. Lamb curry was excellent but painful if that makes sense. I have finally completed my booklist.
15 June 1939
I have arrived in Brighton. The Wedding festivities will kick off tonight with Hen and Stag party. A telegram was waiting for me from Henry; he will be able to attend after all, but not until tomorrow, the evening before the wedding. Edith, ever the instigator, reserved adjoining rooms for Henry and myself.
The Grand Brighton Hotel
Brighton & Hove
June 1939
Eliza blinked several times as she observed the image reflected in the cheval mirror of her hotel suite. She wondered if her legs had always been so long and pale. She ran one nervous hand up and down her abdomen as if to smooth out phantom bumps along the flat expanse; the other hand toyed nervously with the tie behind her neck – God, what if it became untied while she was swimming? The sleek material beneath her fingertips was navy-blue rayon and lastex with white pinstripes. She had somehow found herself wearing a bathing suit. Her nerves - in tandem with the afternoon sun that beat through the ceiling-to-floor windows - made her forehead sting with sweat.
"You look absolutely spectacular," Edith exclaimed from her perch on the edge of Eliza's bed. "I am so glad we talked you out of barricading yourself in the bathroom." Lottie nodded in enthusiastic agreement. Both women wore their bathing suits; Edith wore a pale blue linen kimono jacket over an emerald green, halter neck bathing suit in the same skirtless style as Eliza's; Lottie's suit was black with white trim, in dressmaker style, with a skirt that fell to midthigh – both women wore matching, wide-brimmed, straw hats.
"I think I'm feeling queasy from the hen party last night," Eliza complained with a theatrical whinge. "I really should not have had so much to drink; I think it's best I stay here and catch up on some reading."
Lottie snorted with merrmiment before Edith shushed her. Edith stood and approached Eliza with her hands clasped together and pulled against her collar; there was a soft, pleading expression in the girl's wide blue eyes as she spoke:
"Eliza, you had a half of a Cosmopolitan and made sure to escort the entire bridal party back to their rooms for safety reasons; and darling, you read so much I'm terrified you are going to become near-sighted – please, try to enjoy yourself this weekend."
"Who knows when we'll be able to be young like this again," Lottie solemnly added.
Lottie's words started the slow churning, twisting dread in Eliza's stomach that seemed to exist within her in perpetuity as of late. There were mornings when a headline in the newspaper could send Eliza back into her room, where she would sometimes lie on her back in bed and let the swirling terribleness cover her like an icy quilt. For all of her hard upbringing, she felt fear and doubt shrieking that she was not at all prepared for what was to come. Lottie was right.
"Yes, who knows?" Eliza echoed with false cheer.
Eliza crossed the room and plucked a sheer, mint-green kimono jacket from the wardrobe; she pulled it on and fastened the satin belt tightly about her waist. Eliza took another glance in the mirror after she had slipped on her espadrilles. The slight platform of her shoes made her legs appear more shapely, longer even. She placed one hand on her left hip and leaned to one side, sticking her right leg out to get a better look. Lottie and Edith's shrieks of mirth put a stop to Eliza's moment of admiration; she straightened her spine, cleared her throat, and snatched her wide-brim straw from the top of the wardrobe; once she felt sufficiently prepared, Edith and Lottie whisked her from the safety of her suite, and off to the beach.
Due to the threat of gathering storm clouds, the crowd of vacationers, visible from Eliza's balcony, was beginning to thin. The rest of the wedding party had already arrived and sectioned off a corner of the beach with blankets and picnic baskets. Eliza set down her basket, took out her blanket and spread it over the terrain; she selected a spot still graced with a sliver of sunlight and reclined with her latest novel. Eliza heard Edith make a disgusted noise nearby, and she looked up from her reading; Edith's expression was exasperated as she peered down at Eliza.
"You must be joking."
"What am I meant to do?" Eliza inquired, with a sincere desire to know how to behave.
"Swim, you goose!"
Eliza set her book to the side and sat, drawing her knees to her chest. "I – I'm afraid I don't know how to swim."
"Oh, that's alright; get up – MONTY DARLING!" Edith bellowed for her fiancé as she helped Eliza to her feet. Once he arrived on the scene, all bronze skin, toned arms, and an affable smile on his handsome lips; Edith explained the situation.
"-and we really must get all hands on deck to assist," Edith finished, ignoring Eliza's protests.
Eliza, only used to the pleasantly hot waters of her bathtub, was not prepared for the frigid waters of the sea as Edith and Monty led her to the rocky waters. Her immediate instinct was to shriek as a small wave swelled and crashed against her midsection.
"Relax, Miss Doolittle," Monty instructed in a deep, soothing voice when her body became rigid with fear.
Before long, the pair flanked her sides and helped her into a floating position on her back. Eliza blinked up, beyond their delighted faces and up to the now visible. She found the water almost pleasant, and the sun felt gentle and warm on her face and body. She smiled and closed her eyes.
Who knows when we'll be able to be young like this again?
Later, when the party grew tired of swimming, they retreated to their blankets en masse. The weather had improved, and the group decided to linger until the lifeguards ejected them. Eliza returned to her book but kept her ear trained on the conversation between Edith and another bridesmaid to her left.
"-Oh yes; Monty is quite insistent that I give up my post at Mulberry, you know."
"I imagine it's because you will have your hands full at Ridgely Hall, darling," the bridesmaid named Dina Lawrence reasoned.
"Oh, I understand completely. Eliza, do you think Henry will make you give up your post?"
Eliza looked up from her book with a frown. "I can't imagine why he would ask such a thing of me."
"He will, of course," Edith replied. "Men get quite jealous of their wives' time once the yoke is affixed. I imagine he wants children; you'd have to be there for the children, of course."
Eliza snorted and teasingly said, "Oh, has Henry told you he wants children?"
"Are you implying he does not?"
Eliza shrugged. "We are not officially engaged, so it's not a topic that comes up." Indeed, she had thought Henry would ask her the night they celebrated her matriculation from Sunderland a few weeks back, but the question had not arisen.
"Do you want children?"
"At this point, I want to teach children; whether I want to produce them is… well, I don't know." She tried to conjure up a child with Henry's golden hair and her dark eyes, tried to imagine what it would feel like to have maternal feelings for the hypothetical child – then she thought about Alfie, who had been colicky his entire first year of existence, and the visible exhaustion on her stepmother's face. She shuddered.
"I suppose you could ask him his thoughts on children now," Edith stated; she nodded at the space beyond Eliza's shoulder.
Eliza turned to see Henry walking down the beach toward the group. He was dressed for the office with his brown tie, brown tweed trousers, and oxford shoes; but his suit coat was casually slung over one shoulder, revealing his pristine white button-up shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows and suspenders. He was hatless, and the wind had tousled his wavy blonde hair in a way that sent a wave of pleasant heat to Eliza's abdomen and thighs.
Henry settled onto Eliza's blanket with an unreadable expression as his eyes flitted over her long, bare legs and upwards until his gaze settled on her face. She raked a self-conscious hand through her long, damp curls that had begun to frizz from the combination of salt water and heat.
"Hello, Eliza," Henry greeted faintly. He had not so much as glanced at the others.
"Hello, Henry," Eliza replied with a small smile.
"Professor Higgins, we were just talking about you!" Edith scooted closer to the pair, her beautiful eyes twinkling with mischievous glee.
"Oh?" Henry asked with a puzzled expression. He finally took note of the curious onlookers. "I say, have I got something on my face?" All but Edith, Dina, and Eliza returned to their previous conversations at his brusque inquiry.
"What do you think about children?" Edith needled.
Henry shrugged diffidently. "I don't think much of them at all."
"What a mannish thing to say," Dina sighed, airily.
"And what do you think about Eliza working?" Edith pressed.
Eliza rose to her feet; Henry quickly assisted with her kimono. She repressed a shiver when his hands brushed against her waist as he tied her belt into a neat bow. "I think I am a little tired and would like to rest before dinner-" she smiled at Henry "-Would you care to escort me?"
"I cannot imagine what you think I might do here without your company; yes, let's go."
Eliza apologized to the group, introduced Henry to those who needed introduction before gathering her blanket and basket, and tugged at his arm. There was a brief fumble as Henry took the basket from Eliza, and then they were away.
Once Henry and Eliza reached the door to her room, she surprised herself by asking him, "Would you care to come in?"
Henry's eyes widened, and he gave a sharp exhale. They had not often had the opportunity to be alone in the past year, andcertainly not in an intimate setting like a bedroom. Eliza's mind wandered to the summer before, and the moment they had shared in Pickering's library when the house had all but been empty, save for the two of them; it had not, as she had recorded in her journal, been entirely respectable, though they had found it within themselves to exercise a degree of restraint when push came to shove. They had not gone past the point of no return, but he did leave the experience with intimate knowledge of what she looked like when undone.
"May I?" Henry asked without a trace of the blustering confidence that was his trademark.
Eliza unlocked the door and pulled him inside.
"I was just about to tell that harridan that I don't give a fig about you working," Henry stated before Eliza turned and pushed him back toward the door; she rose slightly and captured his lips with a bruising kiss that he eagerly returned. She felt one hand caress the side of her neck, while the other travelled down to her backside. They were all groping hands and desperate hunger for a long moment before she suddenly pulled back.
"I love you," Eliza stated with breathless determination before yanking the pearl ring from the third finger of her right hand; she grabbed his hand and placed the ring in his palm before closing his fingers around it.
"You… wh-what do you…" Henry stammered, his entire face flush red with lust and confusion. Eliza presented him with her left hand, her eyes sweeping from it to the hand that grasped the ring and back again when she failed to see the dots connecting in his expression.
"Oh!" Henry suddenly exclaimed excitedly.
"Now?"
"Yes, Henry. Now."
Henry sank to one knee, as was the custom, and took her left hand. He looked at her with an expression that held a curious mix of apprehension and expectation.
"Eliza, will you?"
"Yes." He slipped the ring onto her third finger, and she sank to the plush carpeted floor in front of him, pulling at his shirt front so they collided and resumed their previous explorations.