Chapter 12
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Blue eyes
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"Neo"
"It's time to go?"
"We're already late"
Neo nods at Morpheus' call and just gives a squeeze at Trinity's hand, holding it tighter as their eyes meet.
Here they are. It's time to fulfill the prophecy... to follow the key-maker and to try to reach the Matrix mainframe... there where the path of the One ends.
He knows he has to go... he'd just like it would be easier...easier to watch in the eyes of the woman he loves knowing it could be the last time...
"Please" he just whispers again, reminding her of the promise she gave him. Not entering the matrix. No matter what. Staying out of there.
He needs to know she's here. Safe. She and their child.
Trinity swallows and gives a little nod.
"Be careful"
They stare at each other as he finds his place in his seat and she puts a quick kiss on his lips. One hand on his chest, the other one on the jack that she's going to push in the plug on Neo's nape.
He resists the urge to put a hand on her belly before closing his eyes, to touch his child once again, but he knows he can't, and he just gets lost in the blue of her eyes once more.
Trinity sighs and runs a hand in her hair as soon as all the crew is jacked in. Morpheus. Switch. Ghost. And Niobe, in her place. The lump she feels in her throat is not because of her pregnancy this time. She looks away, briefly meeting Dozer's eyes but ignoring his stare. She walks to the operating station instead, where Tank is pressing keys, discussing with Sparks about the better way of keeping the hack running. Apoc is in the cockpit, checking the holographic.
Morpheus' incitation words still twirl in Trinity's mind.
... ... We are soldiers.
... ... Death can come for us at any time ...
... ... Now consider the alternative. What if I am right? What if the prophecy is true? What if tomorrow this war could be over?
And she can still see all of them. The mistrustful features on Niobe's face, her arms folded in front of her chest. And Neo's serious features... he can try holding it back, but she can see it anyway... he's almost unable to breathe from the building pressure. He knows he has to go, he has to find a way to reach the Matrix mainframe, but none said it would be easy. Despite all the pressure everyone put on his shoulders, he's not a machine.
... ... Isn't that what we've been fighting for?
... ... Isn't that worth dying for?
Exactly like none said it would be easy for her to just stay there, standing around and doing nothing.
Trinity stands behind Tank. She can read both Neo and the Key-maker's codes on the rain of green glyphs.
"Find the others" she says, her tone firm and steady despite what's going on in her mind.
"I got Niobe, right there. They're already out of the station"
Niobe stands on an overpass, looking down at the power station. She checks her watch, the final minutes sweeping by.
"What about Morpheus and Switch?
"There. They're still inside" Tank doesn't turn to Trinity, his eyes focus on the screen.
The bomb counts the last seconds. The Key-maker inserts his key. The bomb goes off, the power station disappearing beneath a rippling silk cloud of flame. The crew of the Logos is lit by the orange bloom.
Neo looks out as the city lights begin to flicker off. That's it. It's time to go. The Key Maker opens the office door, revealing another infinitely long industrial passageway. They step into the hall and the door slams behind them, as on the Nebuchadnezzar they disappear from the screen.
"I lost them. They're inside the portal"
Trinity nods, glancing at Neo's body. On his face nothing more than the typical coma-like features of someone who's jacked in.
"What about the grid?" She says turning to glance again at both the screen and Tank, as he speeds through a diagnostic.
Lights are off. The emergency system turned off in turn.
"Everything like planned, Ma'am"
Trinity nods, folding for a moment her arms in front of her chest, like to keep herself steady, then hurrying to let them fall again along her body.
Another glance to Neo and she knows that she can just hope, now. Hoping for him succeeding in reaching the Matrix mainframe, hoping for the prophecy to be right, hoping for the war to finish. And for Neo coming back alive.
And yet... she feels something is wrong.
... ... "You're tied to the One, Trinity. Intertwined with his life like never before. Your life will depend on him and his life on you. You've made a choice which changed everything. Now you have to understand it"...
She's still trying to understand.
... ... "Your life will depend on him and his life on you"
How can she help him from here? She feels like a princess waiting for being saved by her charming prince... and it's definitely what she isn't, and never will be.
But she has to remind herself that she's going to be a mother, she already is actually, and she can't put her pride ahead her child's needs. As much as pregnancy is not a disease, she can't risk her son's safety just for fulfilling her own needs.
She stops at that thought. Why once more she feels it's a son?
She dismisses that thought. She has not time to indulge in that now. She just would like to know what she's supposed to do.
It would be easier if the little one in there could stop kicking her womb relentlessly.
She sighs. She needs to put her hand on there, to stroke her own belly trying to calm her baby down. Her back is beginning to hurt for the effort of keeping a very straight-backed position all the time, the only option she has to try to hide what now is the evident roundness of her abdomen.
"I'm gonna take a cup of water" she just says as the ones in there just nod.
Her hand finds her baby bump as soon as the galley door closes behind her shoulders.
"Please, gimme a break, baby" she whispers in the silent room, stroking her belly with one hand and her back with the other one.
It's an annoying feeling now. Like a mild cramp. She had the same feeling a few days earlier. But in that moment there was something else in her mind to pay attention to it. She smirks at that memory.
... ... her tongue runs along Neo's length and she purposely looks up at him as she reaches the tip. Her tongue lingers on his smoothness, his skin hot and dark in there. She just want anything else than tasting him. And it's exactly what she does. Her mouth welcomes him, sucking gently on the tip at first, then swallowing him deep in her mouth, feeling him hard and warm in her mouth. She just wants more of him. As far as she wants him deep inside her she wants to gives him exactly what he's just given her. As she speeds her pace, Neo's hand grips her hair, inciting her to go on, her head moving up and down.
... ... " Trin"
... ... it's his advice. He's close. And if she wants something else she has to let go of him right now, right there. But she has definitely no intention of letting him go instead. Their eyes meet again. Her need and will clear in her eyes. As he comes, pouring himself in her mouth, his hand tightens the grip on her hair, keeping her exactly there, his cock deep in her mouth.
"Fuck!" the echo of Neo's curse in her mind comes together with her own as her hand finds her baby bump again, trying to sooth another cramp.
If she needs to relax this isn't definitely the kind of memories she needs. She'd need to sit down, to lie down actually, but again it's not something she can allow herself to. Not while she's in command.
She fills a cup of water and takes a few sips, focusing in the cold liquid running along her throat. She can feel it in her stomach and just closes her eyes, inhaling deeply.
Suddenly her eyes snap open as the proximity alert goes off, ringing loudly everywhere in the ship.
She hurries to put down the cup still in her hand and runs out of the galley, almost bumping against Apoc's body.
Their eyes meet alarmingly and they hurry in the cockpit, quickly stepping up the ladder and sitting down in their chairs as the hologram of six sentinels appears on the monitor.
"Shit!" they say at the same time.
Trinity's eyes scan the monitors, checking the parameters. If cramps are still there she can't say, she just can feel her heart pumping in her chest hard as adrenaline gets pushed in her veins by her suprarenal glands. One of the most powerful hormones. The fight or flight hormone. That response is triggered in her body as the perception of the incoming threat activates her sympathetic nervous system, trigging an acute stress response that prepares her body to fight or flee. She knows what she has to do. She has no choice actually. But she's not the kind of woman who just stays there waiting for the worst to happen. Not without fighting.
"We have?"
Apoc's voice comes just in a whisper as he meets Trinity's eyes again.
"3, maybe 4 minutes"
Her voice is firm and calm, or at least it sounds like that. She's in her ranking officer mode now and she can't allow herself to lose control. She needs to think clear despite the racing pumping of her heart in her chest.
She reaches out for the receiver in front of her and calls Tank.
The crew is still inside the Matrix. Neo is still inside the Matrix... they can't succeed in coming back in less than 4 minutes.
Her eyes move on the EMI button in front of her, still covered by its protection plastic cover. She can save herself blowing it. She can save her child...
"It's out of any discussion!" She firmly says instead, and it's clear there's really no space for any other question about that.
Neo is the only chance they have. And even otherwise, she's not letting him die, not without fighting.
She meets Apoc's eyes again.
"We can't use it till they're inside" She says glancing at the EMI button again "Not till we have an alternative chance"
Apoc's eyes stare at hers.
"Trinity, it's just you and me"
"And no one else in this crew knows guns better than the two of us" her tone is firm and unexpectedly calm "Apoc, you're the best gunner we have. We have to try. We owe them. I'm not letting Neo dying like this. I'm not letting Switch dying like this. And I know you aren't too"
Apoc nods. He knows she's right.
"If you think we can, than we can, Trin"
She reaches out for the for the receiver in front of her, calling Tank again.
"Tank, call Dozer and Sparks. I want forward and aft guns manned at all times. Apoc and I are getting upstairs in the gun turrets. Take the guys back as soon as you can"
Her thoughtful blue eyes linger on the squid holograms for a second as Tank's 'Yes, Ma'am!' echoes in her mind.
"Let's go!" she just says.
They hurry from the cockpit along the ladder, till the gun turrets.
"Here they come"
The Nebuchadnezzar gun turrets unleash a fury of heavy metal filling their wake with anti-aircraft fire.
The severed limb is a flash of mangled circuitry and silicon gristle as the sentinel cartwheels into oblivion. Apoc sees his turrets back and forth carving through the attack and growls.
Trinity has the best angle, swinging her turret around, targeting two sentinels as they sink their lasers into the metal surface.
She fires. A heavy barrage of bullets batters the lead sentinel but before it dies, it hits the ship heavily. The other one follows soon. It's like an earthquake shake and she has to hold on for not being hurl away from her chair.
3... 4... 2 left.
As Trinity hurries to refill her guns, the two sentinels stop there for a moment like watching her with theirs multiple red eyes, somehow unconcerned about the bullets hitting their metal skin, apparently not even scratching them.
The series of gunshots from Apoc's guns succeeds in severing a few tentacles from one of them, and heavy metal limbs loudly fall on the ground.
The damaged sentinel doesn't seem to bother about its missing parts (if machines bother about something anyway) and its red laser hits the windshield, trying to breach it.
"APOC!"
The windshield suddenly explodes throwing sharpened glass pieces all around, and exposing them both even more to the attack of the sentinels.
"Fuck!"
Pain comes from everywhere as multiple fragments of glass enter their skin, but there's no time to focus on pain. Something is wrong with Apoc's guns, like his trigger got jammed.
"TRINITY!"
The second sentinel runs toward her but it suddenly stops like it's really staring at her now. There's no way she can succeed against 2 sentinels and just a functioning gun post.
She quickly values the scene in front of her eyes. The damaged sentinel is still able to harm and it's clearly focusing on Apoc, sinking her laser toward him since he's the unarmed and easier prey now. The other sentinel is right in front of her instead, but somehow hesitant. If she would had time she probably wondered where that weird attitude came from. But there's no time.
"NOOOOO!"
Trinity abruptly shoots in the right moment in which the red laser hits Apoc. She succeeds in targeting the sentinel, her bullets hitting it hard enough to change the direction of the laser as Apoc throws himself by side to dodge it. He rolls on the floor holding an injured arm against his chest with the good one and this time clearly wincing in pain. His eyes close and his face is ghost-white, something that rarely happens due to his skin tone.
Trinity's eyes looks at the sentinel exposed electrical innards, and yet it's not enough to get it harmless.
Then everything happens in a few seconds.
The damaged sentinel turns its laser toward Trinity, as she hurries to unfasten her seatbelt. The red laser hits the monitor in front of her and the power of the explosion pushes her backward abruptly. Her back hits the metal floor and her head follows a moment later but she succeeds anyway in reaching out for the guns which has escaped her grip. Her fingers wrap around the triggers and she stretches out both her arms in front of herself, ready to shoot. She inhales sharply at the image in front of her eyes, and she knows it's probably going to be her last view. Two sentinels moving toward her, ready to kill her. Apoc already got harmless, unconscious on the floor.
She shoots against the damaged one, fighting against the instinct of closing her eyes as both of them come even closer.
As her ears get filled by the noise of metal crushing against metal she tries to cover her face with her arms, and to protect herself by curling up in a fetal position. She feels the impact of metal parts which fall all over her body, almost crushing her. For a moment the weight pressing on her chest is almost unbearable enabling her from breathing, then the pressure suddenly fades and her lungs can get filled by fresh air.
"Apo-"
Her mate's name hangs midair as she catches sight of him and realizes he's on the floor writhing in pain, still far from her. As her head turns lightly she faces the second sentinel instead.
Blood freezes in her veins and scared wide blue eyes meet the multiple eyes of the sentinel... as blue as hers.
One tentacle moves toward her, moving another heavy piece of metal from her right leg and allowing her to move. And yet she doesn't.
Her eyes close for a moment and she inhales deeply in an attempt not to focus on pain. It's like having a weight pressing on her abdomen even if there's any metal mass on there anymore. She knows she has to move but she can't. And yet she isn't really as terrified as she should be. Maybe it's just some sort of pre-death experience.
The sentinel is now somehow scanning her body.
As it moves even closer to her she feels something. Maybe it's just her clouded mind but she can feel a sort of vibration against her skin as the cold metal skin makes contact with her. It's like the purr of a cat... even if she never really experienced the purr of a cat actually...
She should be scared to death. Instead... her heart rate slows, her laboured breathing calms down... exactly like the frenetic kicking of the little one in her womb. The tension in there fades, her cramps loosen.
She can see it now. The scratched skin of the squid in the right spot in which it hit the other sentinel, somehow pushing her away and changing her trajectory. She thought it has been just a figment of her imagination, one second before shooting against it a deadly series of gunshots...
As a silent 'thanks' appears somewhere in Trinity's mind, her fingers lightly touch the metal limb and she can feel it again... that sort of purr against her finger tips.
... Relaxing. Calming. Peaceful.
Then all of a sudden the sentinel turns its big head toward Apoc.
He's succeeded in reaching out for a gun from the floor and he holds it in his left hand. No matter if it's not left-handed, Trinity knows he's not missing the target.
"NO!"
She can't tell if it's because of the gun in Apoc's hand or because of her screaming. A sentinel isn't supposed to be scared, right? It's just a machine with only one purpose. Find and destroy.
And yet, it shouldn't be supposed to be merciful.
The sentinel quickly turns and flies away.
And everything goes quiet again.
Trinity's eyes allow themselves to close both in relief and exhaustion, and her hand instinctively moves on her belly. She's not just trying to soften another cramp, it's both a protective and caring gesture and an attempt to somehow reassure the little one in there that everything is going to be ok.
She doesn't open her eyes at first, not even when she hears hasty steps along the ladder and the cracking of glass pieces under the weight of someone's boots, then she does her best to push herself in a sitting position.
Dozer stands on the door and his worried eyes immediately scan the devastated turrets.
"Thank God you're both alive"
His eyes meet Apoc, as he pushes himself in a sitting position in turn, then standing up, still holding his own injured arm.
"Don't thank God, Dozer, thank this woman's reflexes," Apoc meets Trinity's eyes as his hand meets Dozer's hand, and they hug each other, patting each other's shoulder.
Apoc's good arm reaches out for Trinity's hand, helping her to stand up.
"You're my savior, babe" Apoc says, embracing her with just one arm and giving her a pat between her shoulder blades.
"Anytime"
The hint of a smirk plays on Trinity's lips despite the sharp pain that the embrace triggered. She tries not to grimace as some fragments of glass enter her skin deeper, but she can't succeed and she meets both Apoc and Dozer's eyes.
From the look on Apoc's face he's not doing better. His arm is still hanging from his shoulder in a weird way, clear sign of a dislocation. He probably has at least a couple of broken ribs either.
"I want both of you in the infirmary, pronto!"
"Apoc's arm needs to be fixed urgently. As soon as Switch is back we need to fix this mess instead. I still have all my limbs"
Dozer rolls his eyes. There's no way his eyes can miss the sweating on her forehead and the pallor of her face, not to mention her many bruises.
"You're not going to fix anything if you collapse"
"I'm far from collapsing, Dozer. Stop treating me like someone who's going to crash at any moment"
Dozer answers to Trinity's serious look with the same gaze.
"Let me value it," he says in a firm tone "You've just done your job, now let me doing mine, Ma'am "
She exhales heavily but gives him a nod and just heads to the ladder.
Her head spins as her boot finds the first step and her hand grips the rung tighter. She closes her eyes and focuses on taking another step. There's no way she's going to admit with Dozer that he's right.
Trinity's eyes scan the room as soon as her foot touches the floor. Neo, Morpheus, Niobe, Ghost and Switch are still in the Matrix and everything is calm and silent in here, like nothing happened.
Well, nothing happened in here indeed.
Her stomach twinges at that realization. She could have died and none of them would have been aware of it. Neo would have faced reality as soon as he got unplugged. Or they could be all dead instead. This is the most probable option honestly.
She meets her own look in the reflection of the lucid metal surface in front of herself, and she realizes how much she went near to it. And why Dozer looked so worried about her health.
Half her face is turning a shade of purple and violet, her right eyebrow is swollen and there's clotted blood on her forehead. The same bruises together with multiple cuts are probably on her full right side from her shoulder to her wrist, and from her hip to her ankle, since heavy metal pieces had fallen on her as she was curled on her side. Her forearm is bleeding even if the main cut doesn't look that bad. Well, except for the many fragments of glass inside it.
She has to admit she has whatever but a good look now. Not that she bothers about it anyway. The only thing she's worried about is something she still can't share, not even to Dozer. Cramps are gone, and it should be count like a good sign. But... as much as she knows her baby doesn't kick all day (... it's supposed to be sleeping from time to time, in the of warm crib of her womb... ) she'd pay to feel it moving right now... to know that everything is fine in there.
Tank's eyes meet Trinity's, distracting her from her thoughts. He looks totally excited, like he's just won the last level of his favourite videogame.
"I can't believe you did it!" He lifts his fists in a very excited move and his smile is so wide that surely his cheeks will hurt later.
Not as much as Trinity's body hurts as soon as Tank wraps her in another tight hug.
He suddenly lets go of her, touching his headphones.
"It's Morpheus" he says meeting Trinity's eyes "Four of them are back"
She's the one unplugging Morpheus as Tank pulls both Ghost's and Niobe's jack. Sparks does the same with Switch.
Morpheus' eyes snap open and his eyes moves immediately toward Neo's body, still unconscious on his seat. Still into the Matrix or wherever he is now. He gets up abruptly as soon as he looks at Trinity, standing at his side.
"A sentinel attack, sir" Tank says before Trinity can open her mouth "If it wasn't for this woman's coldbloodedness... fuck... we'd be all dead right now!"
Trinity just stares at Morpheus as he stares back at her, his eyes lingering in her beaten face. Curses come from both Niobe and Switch's mouth. She purposely avoids Ghost's eyes instead.
Her eyes meet Switch and there's a silent assent in her eyes, a silent 'I'm fine, go and check on Apoc'... and her friend doesn't need to be told twice. As Switch runs toward the infirmary, Trinity turns to Morpheus again.
"Have Dozer checked you?" Morpheus asks a she shakes her head "Go then. You'll report later"
She catches sight of Niobe, ordering Ghost to go with her. Enough for herself to know how bad she probably looks right now if even the Captain of the Logos is up to offer her some help.
"Trinity..."
Ghost's tone is worried as he casts a look to the two captains, a few meters from them and then looks at Trinity's again, taking her forearm to have her attention.
She gives him a little reassuring smile which doesn't succeed in melting the serious look in Ghost's eyes though.
"I'm fine, bro" she says at the touch of Ghost's fingers on her arm "Believe me, the turrets need you more than I do"
A faint smile, and she walks away.
Neo's eyes open on the Neb minutes later. He looks around at the many eyes all looking at him. Expecting eyes. Hopeful eyes. The burden on his shoulders feels even heavier. His eyes are serious as he struggles between sorrow and rage.
... ... You are here because Zion is about to be destroyed, its every living inhabitant terminated. Its entire existence eradicated. The function of the One is to now return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program after which you will be required to select from the Matrix twenty three individuals, sixteen female, seven male, to rebuild Zion.
... ... Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the Matrix, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.
... ... she is going to die, like every human being, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
... ... There are two doors, the door on your right will take you to the Source and the salvation of Zion. The door to your left leads back to the Matrix, to her, and to the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice.
As he pushes himself in a sitting position, he finds Morpheus' eyes, standing right in front of him, and just shakes his head in what is a clear sign of defeat. Too many thoughts are already turning in his mind in an useless attempt to give a sense to what he experienced and to understand what he's supposed to do now.
... ... Your five predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of the species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific, vis-a-vis. Love.
... ... Trinity!
The memory of Trinity's blue eyes looking at him from hundreds monitors is enough to make him feel sick.
... ... she is going to die, like every human being, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
... ... we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already I can see the chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason, an emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth; she is going to die, like every human being, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
... ... Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.
Neo catches sight of Apoc. Switch is at his side. There are bruises on his face, his right eye is swollen and a large bandage keeps his right shoulder fixed to his chest.
It's enough for him to panic.
"What's happened in there?" Morpheus' voice reaches Neo's ears but not his temporal lobes. He feels the Captain's hand on his shoulder, like inciting him to tell something, but again he doesn't reply.
"What happened in here?" Neo asks instead, still looking at Apoc. Switch is caressing Apoc's good arm, a caring and lovely attitude he could rarely see from her, since she always acts like a pain in the ass with him. It's enough for him to know that something's definitely wrong. That something wrong happened.
His eyes look around searching Trinity. But he can't see her anywhere.
"Sentinels. 6 of them" Apoc's voice is lower and weaker than usual. "They beat the shit out of us. If it wasn't for Trinity, we..."
Neo's ears aren't hearing him anymore. Panic runs through his veins again. His heart skips a beat. More than one actually, like it's gone crazy in his chest.
... ... she is going to die, like every human being, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
"Where is she?"
He quickly stands up ignoring Morpheus' hand on his shoulder as the Captain somehow tries to stop him from getting up.
"In the infirmary. She's going to be fine. But I need to know what happened in there instead. In the Matrix mainframe"
Neo's eyes stares as him. His eyes even darker than they use to be. It's the two of them, standing in front of each other, like towering over each other. The Captain versus the One. None of them means to be rude to the other one, but there are thing that must be done.
"It's a matter of priority, Neo" Morpheus says in his firm military tone "I have to know what happened there"
Neo's eyes pierce Morpheus... Tank's words coming in his mind from the past.
... ... 'We can't let that happen, Trinity. Zion is more important than me. Or you, or even Morpheus'
Zion is supposed to be his priority. And yet it isn't. Not for him.
"Exactly" Neo's voice is even lower and firm than his "It's a matter of priority"
His hand finds Morpheus' still on his arm, moving it away. Once again it's not rude, but he doesn't leave any space to replies. And he just walks toward the infirmary.