A Magus' Guide to Becoming a Vigilante Chapter 15: 15: Matou Misery II, a fate/stay night fanfic

Replies to my Reviews

Curt-X 47: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! How embarrassing! I've fixed that now, so thanks for letting me know!

nanox876: Ah, no, I'm fine. That's just a foreshadowing for future chapters.

SentinalSlice: You'll see in the chapter. As for the comparison between Shinji and Subaru, it actually refers to Pridebaru. On one hand, we have a scumbag who was raised into his current self by the superior scumbag that is his godfather. While it doesn't change the fact that Shinji did all those horrible acts of his own volition, it can't be argued that Zouken (and Byakuya by extension) practically did anything different, fulfilling his desires no matter who got hurt. On the other hand, we have Pridebaru. While he does have better morals compared to Shinji, he's worse than Shinji in the fact that he doomed an entire country's worth of people just for his obsession, something that even Canon Shinji would balk at, especially as Magus Guide Shinji hasn't even killed anybody yet. In the end, this is how it goes: Shinji/Subaru(envious but incapable main characters. Subaru may have Return By Death but is well aware of how utterly ineffectual he'd be without it.), Sakura/Elsa(very different in personalities but similar in 'broken' mindsets, especially as they're both much stronger than the ones they serve but still submit to Shinji/Subaru out of pity and interest respectively, even taking their abuse without complaint.), Shirou/Emilia(selfless characters that Shinji/Subaru are obsessed with and are held to crazy standards, even basing their senses of morality on them. For Subaru, it is 'Would Emilia forgive this?'. For Shinji, it is 'Would Emiya stop tolerating me for this?'). Essentially, Shinji is like an incompetent Pridebaru from reverse, a callous 'bad guy' on his journey to becoming a remorseful 'good guy'.

Sypho Dias: You'll see on that later. As for the Omake, Argonaut deliberately gave his name to attract Kirei, as you can see Risei's reaction to prove that. There are many things that he feels like changing and Shirou has always been the stupidly honest type.

Megaboss52: Like I mentioned to SentinalSlice, I was referring to the PRIDE Subaru, not ENVY Subaru.

Chapter 15: Matou Misery II - The Extermination of Zouken

Shirou Muramasa Emiya was angrier than he'd ever been in his entire life, and it was all because of what Shinji had just revealed to him.

Sakura, his childhood friend, the gentle, kind, and most devoted girl he personally knew, had Crest Worms implanted in her.

He knew little of them. The first time he'd heard of them was from Kiritsugu's notes, which stated very little of it but enough to determine his stance on the matter when it involved someone called Kariya Matou.

SWIFTLY PUT KARIYA MATOU OUT OF HIS MISERY AND CREMATE HIS CREST WORM-INFESTED BODY WITH EXTREME AMOUNTS OF NAPALM AND ACID

With the knowledge Morgan had given him trickling into the forefront of his mind and enlightening him, Shirou knew Crest Worms to be accursed creatures that consumed the flesh and power of their hosts, chipping away at their sanity and lifeforce with every bite.

To be compatible with Crest Worms was to either have an immensely strong lifeforce with a matching will... or to manipulate your body so that it was essentially a human-shaped Worm itself.

What was happening to Sakura's body?!

That wasn't even the latest bomb that Shinji had dropped on him.

Sakura had once been a Tohsaka?

Sakura had once been a Tohsaka, who had been given to Zouken?

If that was true, Shirou's respect for Kariya grew even higher as the man who had (rightfully) abandoned his family, had walked back into that hell for the sake of saving her.

Even if it was now clear that he had failed.

"What has Rin Tohsaka done about this?"

Shinji looked aside at that question, his cheek still red and swollen from when Shirou had punched him when he learnt of the 'prana transfers'. "There's an agreement between the two Family Heads that they weren't to contact each others as sisters anymore. From the few times I've ever seen them together, Tohsaka's definitely adhered to that agreement."

"Does she know? About all... this?"

"...she doesn't. But she also never pushes the limit of what she can know, even now that she's the current head of the Tohsaka Family."

Well, that...

That was really disappointing.

Apparently, Rin Tohsaka was more of a typical magus than Shirou had thought of her, only caring that a challenger to her status as a Heiress was no longer such, regardless of the fact that this was her sister.

Well, that part could be dealt with later. Right now, there was a much higher objective on Shirou's priority list.

"I'm going to go kill your grandfather, Shinji."

Contrary to belief, Shinji instead exhaled in a mixture of hope and relief. "Please go ahead. In fact, if you need me for anything relating to that, I'll gladly help."

Nodding sharply, Shirou walked past Shinji in a particular direction while accidentally stepping on Shinji's card. As he did so, nobody noticed the corruption vacate it and swiftly surge into his leg, instantly vanishing from view and leaving Lancelot's Card uncorrupted.

[Shit.]

Well, nobody except Shirou Alter.

"Congratulations!" Shirou blinked as a robed man with long and fluffy white hair appeared out of nowhere with a bound Miyu and Issei with him. "You've just-"

Merlin didn't get so say anymore as Shirou's fist smashed into his face hard enough to launch him away several feet.

"Who was that guy?" Shirou scoffed as he untied Miyu and Issei before fretting over the former's injuries. "Miyu, are you okay? How bad is it? On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate your wou-?!"

Shirou was cut off as Miyu suddenly slammed herself into his midsection, silently hugging her back as he felt her trembling against him. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Y-Yeah, Onii-chan." Miyu shuddered as she heavily sniffed and held him tighter. "Just give me a minute."

Shirou promptly decided that killing Zouken could come later. His sister needed him now. "Morgan. Take us home."

At that declaration, Morgan le Fay teleported to Shirou's side and clapped her hands once, summoning the black light that had brought them into Avalon in the first place and engulfing them.

"You've changed, Morgan." Merlin commented from the ground he was laying on.

"Really?" Morgan crossed her arms, not meeting his eyes.

Merlin hummed and smiled. "So what will you do now?"

"Now?" Morgan turned to face Merlin this time. "Shirou and I have entered a... pact of sorts, which you are not required to know the details of. All a scoundrel like you needs to do... is return to your Tower."

And then she snapped her fingers, destroying the Merlin before her into nothing but dispersed flower petals, revealing him to be nothing more than a clone of the original.

The moment he had returned home and noted that time hadn't passed at all, he had to be restrained from going after Zouken immediately by Shinji.

Showing some forethought, Shinji had advised that it was for the best that he rested and healed all the damage that they had inflicted on each other.

Besides, Zouken Matou was still an incredibly experienced magus, who would require at least some planning to deal with. Adding in the fact that Shirou would need to safely extract the Worms from Sakura's body before attacking the person who could directly control them was definitely the bit that calmed Shirou down.

The moment he let his adrenaline calm down and bid everyone goodnight, it was only natural that his body immediately gave out after a long episode of nonconsensual body modification by a witch, nonconsensual possession by a fairy, consensual possession from his evil half and finally, a myriad of injuries that he still felt the ache of despite having healed them.

It was frankly a miracle Shirou stayed functional right up until he closed the door behind him after entering the room and promptly collapsed right after.

When he woke up however, Shirou was surprised to find himself not only in his bed with his clothes off, but also with the body of a similarly undressed girl with him under the covers.

"You're awake." She idly noted, her body pressed against his as she entangled her legs together. "Do you recognize me?"

Shirou blinked in confusion at the stranger in bed with him, wondering why he didn't feel any sense of danger or urgency with her. Despite her somewhat familiar prana signature, he didn't know any girl his age with silvery straight hair and piercing emerald eyes- Wait a minute. "Morgan?! Is that you?!"

"Technically." 'Morgan' leaned back as she straddled him, letting him gaze on her slender form in the moonlight that shone through his window. "Before I became Morgan le Fay the Witch of Curses, I was Vivian Nimue the Lady of the Lake. And before that, I was simply born a human princess, Morgana Pendragon, as you see me now."

"I see..." Shirou muttered as he stared up at her, awkwardly trying not to get excited at her visage. Morgana's body was like a doll brought to life, haunting in it's uncanny beauty as the silvery moonlight turned her skin into something close to alabaster. "What time is it?"

"Two hours before dawn." Morgana replied as she bent forward and spread her hands over his bare chest, muttering an incantation that caused Shirou's Magic Circuits to flare to life and slowly pulse golden instead of the usual aquamarine. "Good. Your body is a lot more stabilized compared to before. By the time morning comes, you'll be in perfect condition to save Sakura and deal with that horrid magus that damaged her body."

Shirou frowned as his forgotten anger returned to the forefront of his mind before suddenly realizing something. "Morgan, are you able to safely remove the Crest Worms from Sakura's body?"

"Of course, I am." Morgana scoffed. "Just who do you think I am?"

"Perfect." Shirou sighed in relief as he laid back. While he was confident in being able to deal with Zouken, the Crest Worms within Sakura were a different matter. "With that guaranteed, all I have to do is wait until Sakura's safely here with Miyu before I go after Zouken. Any tips to offer?"

"Burn down his Workshop." Morgana instantly offered as she finished with whatever she was doing to his Magic Circuits. "If you're eliminating a magus along with his magecraft, his workshop must not be left intact."

"Noted." Shirou nodded in agreement, only to blush furiously as Morgana leaned forward while rolling her hips, her intent clear as she grinded against his stiff cock. "Seriously? Is now the time considering what I'm doing later and who I'm going to be fighting soon?"

"Your Prana levels still haven't recovered from earlier, so it should be fine to give you an idea of how a real tantric ritual goes instead of that bastardized thing Shinji does with Sakura." Morgana grabbed his face so that they locked eyes. "Besides, I have not had any sex for centuries before meeting you. You should be pleased that you rank #2 of all the lovers I have chosen to bed with."

Before Shirou could inquire on how he made second place despite never getting more than a blowjob from her, Morgana dominated his lips and left him unwilling to question much for the next few hours.

When Sakura Matou arrived at the Emiya residence as early as she could, there were many things she could've expected.

Taiga's exuberant but welcoming greeting, Miyu's demure but happy smile at seeing her 'second big sister' (Sakura loved her back just as much and wondered why Rin stopped doing so) and Shirou's warm and reliable presence which helped her everyday as her raison d'être.

What she did not expect was the stranger who had opened the door for her, just as she was about to open it herself.

It was a tall girl with a slender frame and a large bustline (rivalling Sakura's), with chest-length silvery hair with a small braid tied behind her head and had green eyes. She was dressed in a black sleeveless maid dress with frilly shoulders and bottoms, a blue top that exposed cleavage, a black buttoned waist-corset and a blue frilled lace-trimmed apron wrapped around her waist, blue frilled arm gloves, black stockings, black ribboned pumps and a maid headdress on top of her head.

"Welcome again, Sakura." She greeted with a charming smile. "I've been expecting you for a while now."

"Who are you?" Sakura instantly asked.

"Don't you remember?" She tilted her head in confusion, her emerald eyes mesmerizing. "I'm Shirou-sama's maid. He hired me last year after he found me unconscious and amnesiac under that bridge. He even gave me a name based on the clothes I had on at the time."

Sakura didn't remember such a thin- Wait... She clutched her head in confusion as she stared into the maid's eyes some more... Yeah, she did look familiar... Did Grandfather's 'training' affect her mind somehow that her memories were failing to recognize such a close person to senpai?! "I'm so sorry, Morgana! I must still be sleepy this morning."

"It's fine. Now, come in." Morgan smiled in satisfaction and gestured inside. "I've got a gift for you and trust me when I say that it will be... lifechanging."

Shirou stared in disbelief as his little sister casually greeted 'their maid' before leaving the house with Taiga to go shopping together. Miyu had been his last hope but it looked like Morgana had been correct in what she had told him.

Apart from Shirou Emiya, nobody involved remembered the existence of 'Kuroyuri Muramasa' or 'Morgan le Fay'. Even their memories from Avalon had been taken away from Miyu and Issei, with Shinji being the only exception as Morgana thought it'd have been a waste of character development.

Now, Shirou was idly watching Morgana and Sakura move around in his kitchen, unbelievably at ease with someone other than himself, Miyu and Sakura having unrestrained access to it. "This is unbelievable."

"Tell me about it." Shinji scoffed from the other side of the table. "One of the most powerful witches in history is posing as your maid of all things."

Shirou groaned as he placed his palms over his face. "So just to be sure, you want me to especially deal with the basement as well?"

"Yeah. That's where Sakura's 'training' usually occurs. It's also served as his Workshop and... breeding pit." Shinji muttered, keeping an eye on his sister as she kept nervously glancing in their direction, most likely confused at the lack of the usual spite he exuded in Shirou's proximity. "You'll have to find a way to deal with all of his Worms, though. Grandfather's challengers usually die because they'd miss some."

"I've got the perfect thing to handle that." Shirou replied as he finally stood up. "Just stay here with them until I come back."

"Are you heading out now, Shirou-sama?" Morgana stated as he stepped out into their backyard, the Matou siblings trailing behind her.

"Yes, Morgana. You should now get started." Taking out a familiar card, Shirou took a deep breath before clutching it. He didn't want the mindset of an optimistic hero or a malicious ravager for this. He wanted the mindset of a pragmatic killer. "Install."

Shinji and Sakura recoiled from the bright light that shone from his form before fading away to reveal Shirou's appearance.

He was now dressed in a black tight and sleeveless shirt with golden accents which outlined his muscles with a metal plate on his collar, black pants that had two black straps on his thighs, and another two strapped around his shins separate from each other. Above all that was an armor-plated black longcoat with golden designs.

While Sakura gaped and Morgana cast an appraising eye, Shinji looked over it while fingering his own card. "Mine's Berserker, so what Class are you?"

Somehow, Shinji had now lost all reason to be surprised. Even the fact that Shirou had his own Class Card couldn't get him to so much as roll his eyes.

Shirou turned to gaze back at them. "Archer."

Shinji didn't resist the urge to roll his eyes this time. "Of course, you are."

Shirou chuckled before turning to Morgana. "I'm off now. Get started on Sakura."

Before Sakura could utter a single word of protest-

"Sleep, child."

-she slumped into Morgana's waiting arms.

"Emiya!" Shinji called out just as Pseud Archer crouched forward, preparing to leap. "You better come back to my sister alive!"

Giving a thumbs up as a reply, Pseudo Archer shot forward and out of sight, cracking the ground from how hard he'd kicked off.

"Good luck, Emiya." Shinji whispered with a small and hopeful sigh, before turning to Morgana. "Okay. What can I do to help here?"

"Nothing." Morgana responded brutally as she easily lifted Sakura in a bridal carry and headed for Shirou's room. "Just stay here and guard the house, completely out of my way."

"...ok."

Wrath.

A state of being in which logical reasoning was thrown away in exchange for unrestrained expressions of anger towards a target. While it might be hard to believe, Shirou was actually a bit familiar with this. He definitely felt it when he learnt of the hell Sakura had been subjected to for years.

Unstoppable Rage.

A state of being in which anger would actually cause one to break past their physical limits at the cost of Shirou's sanity, remarkably similar to what EMIYA Alter's knowledge informed him was Mad Enhancement.

However, it seemed that under the Card's influence, or maybe it was his future self's fault in particular, but the moment he activated the Install, Shirou's anger had become forged, turning from burning anger that could evaporate the coldest of ice and morphing and rising until it fell full circle into hellish cold steel that would be best directed at tearing through every single Worm that composed of Zouken's walking corpse.

Tranquil Fury.

Yes. That would be the best way to describe Shirou Emiya's current state of mind. For as he landed right before the gates of the Matou mansion, he had a clear objective in mind.

He would not rage about Sakura's fate.

He would not query about Zouken's choices.

There was no point in doing any of that stuff.

All he needed to do... was just kill Zouken.

As efficiently and brutally as possible.

Zouken Matou, though not usually prone to unnecessary emotions, was currently growing more unsettled with every passing minute. It was outright shameful for a magus of his age and experience to feel such things but it couldn't be helped.

Ever since some minutes ago, the Worms he had usually spread out through the city as surveillance had been dying en masse. It was merely annoying when it was just that damned priest and the Archer from the Fourth Holy Grail War killing them off whenever they were noticed them. Now something was killing off all of his Worms in Fuyuki with swift puissance, with the continuous deaths not only cutting off more of his connection but also adding more mental stress than he had ever been dealt with in centuries as the psychological and physiological feedback of twelve thousand, five hundred and thirty seven 'deaths' within twenty minutes kept slamming into Zouken.

For the first time in centuries, Zouken displayed some worry towards an enemy who seemed to be hunting him down specifically.

*CRANG!*

Zouken hitched in surprise as the enemy finally approached his gates, ripping them off their hinges as if they were made of a much weaker material than reinforced metal.

However, the moment he did so, Zouken was at least afforded much better insight as the intruder stepped into his territory and was surrounded-

*WHOOSH!*

*CLANK!*

-only for flashes of silver to be the last sight of every Worm within the intruder's reach. Zouken coughed out ichor from the shock and pain as the intruder tore through the defenses, making his way directly towards his target.

*BOOM!*

Deep in the pit, Zouken grimaced as the intruder blasted a hole through the many walls and then proceeded to stay up there, looking down on him as his obscured form was slowly revealed from the clearing smoke and dust. He was dressed strangely and his eyes were a dead-ish silver instead of the usual amber, but that was undoubtedly- "Emiya?!"

The Emiya spawn showed no recognition to his name as he casually leapt forward and fell down to the bottom of the pit, crushing three of the large Worms beneath him.

"I am the Bone of my Sword."

The instant those words passed his lips, the air screamed with sharpened prana as several blades manifested into reality around the Emiya spawn and shot off with utmost velocity, each skewering many Worms within the pit and causing Zouken more distress.

"Steel is my Body and Fire is my Blood."

"What brings you here, brat?!" Zouken dispersed into a swarm of Blade Wing Worms to try and engulf the Emiya spawn, only to be rebuffed by no answer as the Worms were unable to even scratch his skin.

"I have Created over a Thousand Tools."

Emiya crossed his arms before whipping them out, creating several projectiles that shot past Zouken and into the walls surrounding them, shattering the centuries-old stone and causing the ancient catacombs to groan.

"Withstanding the Pain while Holding on to the Everdistant Ideal."

"Are you here because you finally found out what had been happening to my dear granddaughter?" Zouken taunted, only to be ignored as Emiya stomped the ground hard enough to shatter it, causing even more cracks to decorate the pit as the resultant shockwave blew Zouken away from him.

"The Glazed Path I Walk is the Path of Salvation and Justice."

"For someone who was presumably raised by the Magus Killer, you were so foolish." Zouken taunted as he surged back against Emiya, his voice resounding hauntingly from every Worm around them. "Your little sister seems much more like your father compared to you, even if several times inferior in magical capability."

"So these Hands shall never Retreat, never Regret and never Withdraw."

If Emiya had been insulted or bothered by Zouken's statements, he didn't show it with words, especially as Zouken finally noted the twisting of the World around the boy's form. "...no, that cannot be!"

"Thus, I invoke!"

"Do not dare, Shirou Emiya! I still have Sakura under-" Zouken stalled with his threat, suddenly realizing that he couldn't feel a connection to the Crest Worms in his granddaughter's body.

Then suddenly, Emiya's hand darted out and inflicted a steel-like vice over his face, drawing him close so that he could see the frothing rage held back in his silver eyes upfront.

"[UNLIMITED BLADE WORKS!]"

"Shinji."

Shinji turned from his handiwork in Emiya's yard to see Morgana approaching with a bowl of the inert Worms that had used to reside in his sister's body. "Dump them here."

"Here's the last of them." Morgana emptied the bowl and sighed with the air of someone who had finally finished the most unsatisfying chore of their life. "Sakura Matou is now completely free of all the Crest Worms in her body. Do be sure to get rid of those, okay?"

"No problem!" And with that said, Shinji hummed cheerfully as he picked up the spray can he'd gotten while fishing out a lighter, creating an aerosol flamethrower that was put to immediate use as an incinerator of Worms.

Shinji could almost hear Zouken's screams of pain.

Floundering as he fell upon the golden grass and sharp blades, Zouken observed his surroundings in trepidation, especially as what looked like every single Worm he had were also here with him. Reforming from the damage he'd just taken, he set his Worms to work, instantly trying to devour through the hopefully immature dimension-

"Zouken." Emiya called out, a fair distance from him as the wraith found his efforts immediately rebuffed. "Does the number '3,576,277' mean anything to you?"

Zouken's sneering face hid the PANIC that burst to life in his mind. 'How does he know the exact number of Worms I have left?! Is it this Reality Marble?!' "This is quite the interesting development, Emiya. I daresay even your father couldn't have managed to corner me as well as you have."

Emiya didn't reply in the slightest, even as the temperature seemed to rise sharply. Even so, Zouken did not live as long as he did as a coward. "If I may be honest with you, I've actually had quite the interest in you. Unlike my incompetent grandson, you truly possess the ideal capability and willpower of a fledgling but powerful Magus much like my dear Kariya used to possess. So how about an alliance between our clans? So far, it's just been the Matou, the Einzbern and the Tohsaka but with the Emiya as a fourth added our usual trio, I daresay we can break past this stagnant phase we have fallen into. Not a bad idea, right? Especially as your father made an alliance with the Einzbern while you've become so close with my grandchildren."

Speaking of which, where were they at the moment? Ah. Zouken immediately reasoned that the Emiya spawn must've kept them in a safe location far away from him. He was certainly soft where his father wasn't.

But then again, was the boy before him not possessing far more power compared to Kiritsugu Emiya?

"Well? I believe Sakura herself would be quite happy-"

"Pft..."

Zouken halted, staring at Emiya who had bent forward, his hair obscuring his face while his shoulders shook. 'Is he... is he laughing...?'

"HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Complete and utter silence. The silence then turned to confusion, an inability to understand what Zouken was hearing and seeing. Since when had Shirou Emiya, the most naïve and (urgh) kindest magus he'd ever known, been able to make such a sickening and depraved sound before?

The... Worm Wraith began to feel uneasy, with some of his Beast Spider Worms anxiously inching away independently. Zouken even found himself blinking his eyes rapidly to make sure he was looking at the correct person... "What... in the world...?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- No." The sick laughter came to sudden stop, with Emiya resuming his blank demeanor. "No, no, nope. It's not funny at all. Sorry about that, Zouken. It's not that I'm trying to disrespect you. It's just that... I really shouldn't deviate from my original intent."

"Your... original intent?"

Emiya tilted his head in false confusion. "To kill you, of course."

"Kill me?" Zouken felt some of his confidence return as he entered the familiar scenario of someone trying and failing to kill him, his body grotesquely morphing as his Worms swelled and writhed in excitement. "That's quite the bold claim, boy. Do you really believe that you can pull that off?"

"There are currently 3,576,277 Worms in here." Emiya raised his hand towards Zouken, halting the wraith's movements as every single sword in sight rose up from the ground to point at him.

It wasn't just swords even. Spears. Daggers. Everything from elaborate scythes that few humans could even dare to touch to simple knives, weapons of all shapes and sizes from all the world over. Some elaborate beyond imagination, some deceptively simple, but each and every one shone with obvious power that reflected nicely on Emiya who was in ownership of them.

"Do you think I care about those numbers? Have you already forgotten, Zouken Matou? What was the name I called this Reality Marble?"

Unlimited Blade Works(Universe of Endless Blades)

"So far, I can surmise that you've always defeated your enemies in combat through sheer attrition. But three million insects cannot be compared to unlimited blades." Emiya as more blades kept rising from afar, all adjusting in midair to aim at Zouken. "So just die, already."

And then blades rained upon Zouken and his Worms, screaming through the air as steel easily shredded through them all.

It didn't matter how strong the Worms were.

It didn't matter how well Zouken had bred them.

It was a simple fact that worms get squashed if something durable enough hits it.

*WHOOSH!*

*CLANK!*

Zouken's Worms were now reduced to two million, seven hundred and thirty nine thousand and eighty three.

*WHOOSH!*

*CLANK!*

Zouken's Worms were now reduced to a million, four hundred and twenty nine thousand and forty seven.

*WHOOSH!*

*CLANK!*

Zouken's Worms were now reduced to five hundred and sixty thousand and one.

*WHOOSH!*

*CLANK!*

"Fun isn't something I consider when I have to kill a person, no matter their moral character. But to be honest, this... does put a smile on my face. My future self must hate you even more than I do."

For the first time in his memory, Zouken felt like he was on the receiving end of his own usual habits as he felt the many deaths over and over. Billions of razors stabbed into his bodies, digging into his, slick, rotting flesh, mercilessly piercing through. His legs were cut from under him, and he fell back as the storm kept rushing and shooting and stabbing and piercing in their relentless onslaught...

And even then, at the moment when Zouken was finally done to the minimal amount of Worms necessary for intelligent reasoning, his final thought wasn't one of cowardice or rage.

It was that... of complete marvel.

'Wonderful... Simply wonderful... If my granddaughter actually succeeds in ensnaring you with her body... the Matou line will surely flourish once more with the inclusion of your bloodline... Kiritsugu Emiya sure knew how to pick-'

And then finally, a sword slammed down with judgmental finality.

KingVessel: All processes halted. Installing new anitvirus. Progress 40%... I feel rather proud of myself for this chapter, despite the malignant spirit trying to possess my computer. Please review and don't forget to spit on Zouken's imaginary corps- ERROR!DIE!DIE!ERROR!LIFEPENALTY!ERROR!BODYPENALTY!DIE!ERROR!DIE!BODYPENALTY!ERROR!CASTRATION!DIE!ERROR!MURDER!DIE!ERROR!TORTURE!DIE-

T̷̻̞͇̮̎̔͜H̸̗̻̲̙̾́̽̍́̆͗̚ͅȄ̴̢̖̬̙͈̝͉̎́̇̎̐͊Ṛ̵̣̪͖̲̩̺͙͒̉͛E̶̡̨̮͇͚̳͇̳̰̍̈́̇͆͆͂̉͠ ̵̡̱͚̝̇̇͋͝͝ͅA̵̦̍̏̎̈͝R̷̡̥̰̊̀́̌̄́̕͝E̵͇̘̗̞̺͉̪̘̐͑ ̷̛̝F̶͓͓̙̬̈̈́̒̏I̸̘̜͚̘̮͇̜͖̬͚̿̄̌̈́̋͌̀͛̚V̶̟̓̇͆̂̕E̴̡͖̥̘̹̰̹̓͠ ̷̨̅́̈̂́̄̓͠S̷̙̖͍̺͋̈́͗̓̋͆̀́͘T̴̞̯̐̏̐̈́̚͝Ā̷̢̯͕̲̫͓̝̀͛̈́̒̏̚R̴̢̭̘̯̮̐͜͜T̶̘͉̱͇̈I̸̥͛N̵̡̪͓͓͕̪̯̣̏͒̾̑̆Ģ̶̞̝̫̹̳͕͇͍̲̈́̇̂̈́͘ ̸̢͔͈̫͚̺͖̳͍̅̅̈P̵̢̧̢̧̤̤̱̜̤͔͑̿̄̄̃͆Ḛ̷͉͉͉͈̤̺̱̱̎̏͌͜Ņ̸̞̭̑͋̋͐̓́Ą̵͍̲͍̘͓̖̠̻́͊L̴̯̮̈́̋̈́T̴̢͈͚̙̘͉͠͝Ỉ̴͚͇̗͓͍̔͊̈́͛͜E̶̳͛S̵̯͛̇̈͑͋̈̈́

Omake: Ritsuka and Argonaut's Grail War Act 1, Scene 3

Ever since he'd begun to participate in the Fourth Holy Grail War, Waver Velvet regretted a lot of things.

He regretted Summoning a maniac like Rider.

He regretted not taking that fitness lesson plan which probably would've helped him with his currently aching lungs and effeminate appearance.

He regretted having to live with 'Grandpa' and 'Grandma'... Okay, no. Waver actually liked living with them. Even though his hypnosis skills were subpar and he had only given them the order to not throw him out, he certainly didn't ask for them to constantly greet him with their kind words and keep feeding him and his Servant.

But now, that didn't matter anymore, because Lord Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald was here and going to torture him and-

"Hm?" Rider turned his head questioning as the slowly loudening sounds of vehicles and combat approached the tense battlefield. "What is that?"

*CLANG!*

*VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!*

Waver was quite sure he wasn't the only one who's jaw dropped when two figures on motorcycles flew over the crates, striking at each other at blistering speeds with polearms as they crashed down, briefly separating from each other.

"RRRRRRRR!" The first rider, who was an armored figure almost completely covered in darkness, growled as he clutched a... lamppost?

"Well, screw you!" The other rider snarled back, clutching his spear tight and revving his engine while... a child clung to his back?! "I certainly didn't ask you to joust with me on your own bike with a lamppost!"

"RRRRRRRR!"

"What?! No, I'm not making a spear for you, too! I'll lose!"

"RRRRRRRR!"

"Yes, my Master is a kid and no, that won't stop me from stomping in your steel-plated ass!"

"RRRRRRRR!"

"Okay, I'm not taking that from you without smashing your face in! Hold on, Ritsuka!"

"Get him, Caster!" The kid cheered back.

As the two revved their bikes and charged at each other, displaying immense skill in how they battled each other on the most unconventional of mounts (especially with Caster easily defending his supposed Master from the shockwaves(Even with {Mad Enhancement}, it seemed to Waver that neither Berserker nor his Master were willing to actually aim at Ritsuka)), the other Masters, Servants and Co. watched with various levels of reactions, ranging from excitement (Rider, Irisviel), to haughty interest (Archer), to shocked disbelief (Saber, Waver), to dull surprise (Kiritsugu, Kirei, Assassin), to mild intrigue (Lancer, Maiya).

"Amazing." Lancer muttered as he followed their movements. "I... I never thought that motorcycles could be used for jousting... Then again, they are clearly the replacements for horses in this era."

"Is that man truly Caster?" Rider muttered as he also followed their movements. "He's yet to cast a single spell, but the fact that he can physically keep up with Berserker while guarding his Master is amazing! Boy, we must recruit him as well!"

It was just as they separated again that Archer finally lost his patience and fired at the two riders. While Berserker tossed his lamppost away and grabbed the proper spear shot at him to deflect the other, Caster simply settled for deflecting the barrage aimed at him with his own spear.

"Whoa..." Ritsuka seemed barely bothered as he gazed at Archer, clearly admiring the golden Servant. "Who's that?! He's so shiny! Why is he so shiny?! Is that real gold?! How can he afford that?! How can he even move under that weight?!"

Caster turned to look at Archer, pulling up his goggles to look at him in disbelief. "Ah, it's Gilgamesh. As for how he can move under all that, he's just Built Different."

Ignoring the various reactions of shock from Masters and Servants alike, Archer's interest made a sharp return. "So it seems that unlike your fellow mongrels, it seems that you are capable of recognizing your king!"

"Just because I know who you are doesn't mean that I acknowledge you as my king, Gilgamesh." Caster got off his bike and snapped his fingers as he slowly approached Archer, causing a protective translucent bubble to surround his Master.

The moment he was done with that, Caster finally casted a spell as he pointed his palm at Archer, with a bloody ember sparking to life...

"Burn."

At that simple command, a compressed stream of pure raging red flames surged towards Archer, filling the entire dock with burning hot air as the stream of hellfire blazed through the sky as a result of Archer promptly dodging out of the way.

"Whoa..." Waver marveled at the spell. "What was that? Rather than an aria or a chant, he simply stated a command to summon that cursed fire!"

"So this is Caster." Irisviel clenched her hands as Saber moved to place herself between him and her. "It was bad enough with his strong suit in close combat, but to think a simple command was enough to casually summon that much power... As expected of the Heroic Spirit of Sorcery."

"Fool... To think that you would dare drag me down to the Earth when I clearly belong in the Heavens?!" Archer's shoulders shook as he finally unfolded his arms in rage. Behind him, {Gate of Babylon} thrummed with power as many portals opened to load out many more spears and swords. "Your impudence has guaranteed your death!"

"My impudence, you say..." Waver gasped as prana burst forth from Caster's form before it coalesced into the form of spears and swords floating around him, each one of them a perfect copy of the ones Archer had.

"You..." Archer's brow was twitching now. "You dare copy my treasures?!"

"Of course, I dare, King of Heroes." Caster smiled back peacefully at the sheer killing intent Archer was giving him. "If you're going to call me impudent, is it not natural that I strive to anger you as much as I can?"

Caster then bowed as mockingly as he could. "My name is Shirou Emiya and I have been Summoned as the Caster of the Fourth Holy Grail War."

There was a sharp gasp from Saber's Master, her red eyes locked on Caster after that declaration, with even Saber as well staring in disbelief.

Caster's warm amber eyes turned to a cold silver. "Remember that on your way to Hell after I defeat you, Gilgamesh. Ah, hold on. You're Ancient Mesopotamian, so Kur would be your actual destination."

"You think too highly of yourself, Faker!"

And with that, the battle between Caster and Archer kicked off with mystical blades being shot at each other at supersonic speeds.