Bojack And His Wife

by ClarissaStories

Within the bright chaos known as Los Angeles, there are two that are destined to be together, knowing it in some lives within the layers where they're lucky enough to share with one another, and not in others. The most disorienting part: all of the complex experiences of that kind of transcending love all within one mind and body as it spills across the lives they share.

2. Chapter 2

"Hey."

Bojack's voice was low and straight to the point, the delivery as blunt as it always was, cutting out any excess speech that would have followed it. Stoic, guidied, compelling.

You felt your knees pressing together in both that stimulation of sudden profound tenderness and protection that came from someone as volatile and as helpless a Bojack, and the allure of someone just as equally intimating and sharp in his own way. Your hands pressed on the caressing they were doing on the white robe in front of you, hands threading on it as it ghosted over the softness of his freshly folded and washed robe. It was these softer moments of care for him where you felt the most contentment of loving him; save for the act of bein with him himself, which was where the center of why your existence had been contrived lied.

And the odd combination that followed his tone; that childish gleam of excitement on the edge of Bojack's voice, with the same strands of one fascination that led to another with observation of a connection deem worthwhile with your humble impossibly deepened intimacy with him, and, the same way anything that made up who he was in your specific eyes, the most alluring. He was like a naturally sophisticated melancholic grace with natural profound beauty, and you had had enough nights spent on his neck and glanced by the glow of the pool and the overlooking of the Los Angeles lights to recognize that with a breathtaking humanity only your chemistry had inspir,d-the humble simsplicty of loving him had brought out the most profound desires that any situation at the end of it all desired, and suffered if not achieved. But the most delicate combination followed that sharp and witty words and charmatsic eyes and handly carved snout and the nature authentic human marks on his face that had made up his life; the clumsy softness of the plump round of his stomach, met perfectly by your intimacy, as your arms wrapped against him, with his stout chubby leg bouncing as he talked to you with quickened boyish words throughout the night through his stoic voie, the most odd contradiction of a combination between one of the most closed off and smart people you had ever met, and almost one of the most stumbling and precioulsy vulnerable.

The contradiction of the cluminess entered almost as quickly as the intimation did in regards to his tone calling over the apartment that night.

"Hey, honey. Can you-"

There was a pause, followed by the sound of brushed fabric and chubby palms, stocky legs tripping over their own feet, incoherent swears under those plush and alluring lips that had the ability to make you buckle just at the thought of them in concentrated detail, the same way anything worthwhile or tender did when you allowed that rare concentration of profound meaning to be focused on the detail someone like him of what he did to someone like you.

"I think we need-" A slight stumble of his feet, a rasp of a swear under his breath. "I need you to come in here while I get ready for this event that was totally an incredible idea."

The memorization like the same addiction of any given stimulant of relief but this one being far too profound to describe except in the physical detail at times when the emotions were too profound to be understood even to the heart it was dedicated towards, which you dared to believe was you. The focus of detail of those empty but profound eyes, life and tenderness shown as even more profound from how they still held so much when most would have lost it all under less than half the damage, the impossibly of chubby wrists as his cherished fingers threaded on your hand. And Bojack was that concentration for you, even now. Especially now, in this conflicted, night ridden messy moments.

"-Goddammit."

A slight swear of a breath, movement and rasped swears following the movements that suggested uncertainty. "-come here? Now?"

A slight rustle of a movement of Bojack's hands as they, if the memorization you had taken to so naturally of taking in his every actioned detail because of the sheer amount of compelling humanity it gave you had taught you anything,caressed the side of his pants as it caressed his stomach nervously under the feeling of the streth of his pajamas. The imagine his chubby palms grazing on his pants under the curve of his plump stomach crossed your inner eye, hands trembling in impossibly tender insecurity that naturally followed him, no matter what sinful black narrative either his sins or others placed on the label of suffocating category people in the bright lighted city of both human emotion and he ever unbridled closed pace of the city tried to leave.

The kind of thinking of the people of the city left no room for someone as born as insecure as Boajck. There was no room to feel relief for his own self reflection, space of clarity to redefine himself in the endless noise of what made up his status and the life that surrounded him in the lights and constant requirements that went so deep that he had no only become affected by it-he had become a part of it, until he no longer knew who he had used to want to be himself or what that even meant at all. He could only feel the excess left over of the pain of what wasn't right or human, a heart that he had been blessed well enough to know that it wasn't present as he would like it, though his brain was foggy with pollution too much to know how to cope with that.

There were several unforgiving suffocations that revealed itself to him in an already impossibly timid tender heart-and, as terrible as it was, and you ached for him because of that unseen torment no one else had ever bothered to even consider, including himself, which had deepend it further. It would follow him for the rest of his life, both inward and outwardly placed-and right along with that, your desire to follow it for reasons larger than either of you would ever understand.

He wanted to respond to it; he did. He wanted to meet with that that aching that he felt himself whether he liked it or not, or even less if it made sense-how much he punished himself for feeling it despite his fight to not. But some things were impossible to deny, and some things left more scathed wounds to ignore than to take, though it wasn't unlike putting medicine on a wound that needed it, but after a lifetime of bleeding, how badly it stung.

An awkward clear of his throat.

"Are you-" A pause. You could see the timid apology in his eyes that was at odds with that exhausted exasperated the same you you had memorized it. Ears flicked back halfway in their guidance of the same sentiment. Adorable, clumsy, compelling."There?"

Your hand pressed on your knee, poking out from the striped blanket that had Todd's leftover weed smell. It had been years, and it had been even more time sinc Bojack had never cleaned the blanket. He was a clean man well enough when he was in a clear state of mind-and you kew the left over smell was intentional. He would never get rid of the mark of any even remotely temporary worthwhile bond he ahd ever had. And you yourself couldn't get rid of the memory of such elongated profound human suffering; or the endless impossible to understand surreality of having the prevailed to know it. It was one of those things that was so beautiful, so painful, so compelling human that was neither good or bad, just true, that made up what had molded Bojack and your involvement and inability to stop doing the most compelling interaction known as love.

And it was love, as simple and raw and complex as it was, fresh with every experience of very person who ever had it in any true or worthwhile fashion-and god knew the both of you were.

Your hand brushed the blanket away. The light of the neon pool reflected on your knee; it was an ancient reflection that almost captured in a justified way how the tormented ball of the man himself made you feel. The entire house didn't seem entirely unlike a haunted place in and of itself with the amount of suffering it had held over twenty decades, not the kind people openly validated or even saw due to how internal and suffocated it was even by the dry eyed wonder of a man that bore it, but to every eye that had the natural tendency to suffocate that of which needed to breathe the most in the unanswered depths known as human psychology.

"I'm coming, sweetheart."

There was a breath that suggested relief, and along with it subconsciousness heaviness that admitted whether Bojack wanted it to or not that weight that came along with everything he asked for.

"Jesus Christ, good. I was starting to think I would have to come out and throw you from whatever private suite you have going on in your skull."

A dry tone, and awkward sight suggesting that thick chuckle to it that served as a clear defense to that awkward tension that was thick enough that it could have either cut his little picked up guidance of confidence, or he could try to waponze it with as much timid ability as he owned.

You smiled to yourself reflectively as your eyes turned down to the concentration of pulling the blanket away from the tense entanglements made up the sheets that were entangled against your legs. The sweat on the crevices of your body had increased more than you would have thought. Your eyes turned over to the window where your eyes caught the extensive landscape of the lights that made up the endless expanse of the lights of the city.

The noise was distant, it always was. It wasn't lost on you the first time you had become entangled in the man that was captured beyond any coherent humanity for himself in any significant way that was enslaved to his career, or rather the idea of it, was also just as much disgusted by it more than any person you had met in the ever changing moving city and the constantly superficial business of it not meant for a heart as tender as the dry toned snenstive eyed partner waiting in the other room, mumbling to himself raspily under his barely coherent whisperings of whatever he was trying to walk himself through.

"You ready for tonight?"

You spoke the question with a certain cognitive dissonance. You were lost looking out over at the city lights; something about the open sky and the contrast of how it met against its changing colors that were so full light was a pause to the center of the compelling emotion that came over the ancient settling of the dynamics of that room.

The busiest version of the human desperation for distraction and the cure put on the human species to prove an expectation of the worth of their person in contrast to the simple natural expanse of the shadow light red sunset sky, and then the eventual blue daylight and the pure night that came over the buildings. It all served to give you an ancient both grief and nostalgia that melded in with that odd relief that came from being truly alive. Not because it was perfect, but because it was abrasive and terrible with how much your soul was stretched and challenged seeing humanity at its most busiest and distracted, and, some would say, selfish-but there was also a lot of beauty there, and it all encapsulated into the feeling known as being truly alive within all of it's both astounding and terrible complexity, though the fear and bittersweetness was at its peak at their inherent way it stretched people out far more than they could handle, yet somehow wanted, eventually.

All of that not unlike the suggestion of one of the countless peaks about how you felt about the now checking lost man on the other side of the master bedroom door, though the way you felt about him was so profound, complex, and painfully simple with how modest it was when human corruption and happiness seem so complicated that it you could have countless beginnings starting to explain how you felt about him, a lifetime of reflection, and still never understand it ina way that brought the spiritual version of it justice.

That was, you had come to find, what made life worth living for. The unexplained, even by the most successful or suppoduly wise or clever person.

"The entire point of offering up bored douchebags up to my house for a night of fracking is so that everyone has a good time, honey."

Straightforward, blunt, and then a slight suggestion of a tender pause to his words in the next sentence.

"I think so. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a good night for them. Either way, it's not my concern. I invited them, they came. That's why it's called free will."

The punchline of his sarcastic wit was blunt and straight to the point. It was such a compelling difference to that insecurity that swept through his tone of a clearly tormented heart that wanted so much different from that of which his words spoke. He was, like most people, a complication of contradictions that weren't made to ever be fully understood, but they needed to be attempted to be at some point whether by themselves or others, and in the hints of how he had revealed himself he wanted that more than anything.

You were made with your set of eyes to see and appreciate the specific richness of his existence in all of its contractions that would frustrate or overwhelm most. What came along with that was a richness of being human that was so profound that you couldn;t feel anything other than that viel of how all encompassing it was, leaving no room for doubt other than the refreshing humanity focusing on him gave you, a gift that not everyone got from either a giving or receiving end, but for those who did, they knew what true refreshment away from the negativity of life and suffering was, and the replacement for what the meaning of it all was; to find the person their eyes were gifted for that leveraged them above that.

"I invited those-" Bojack popped his lip. Your hand finished folding the blanket on the couch. You did it out of the extent of having that odd obligation and that need to clean up the apartment from its inherent messiness. The more you played into that desire, the more that compelling warm humanity seemed to fill the cracks of what was compelling you. "Weird guys from those bars. They're easy. Not that I talk to them usually-I don't. They're usually too busy either gossiping about stars like me or getting lost in their talkie talkie bullshit about what they'll do to women next. God-and their women. I assume they're their girlfriends? But uh-"

Another sound of his hands threading nervously on the softness of what you assumed was clothes similar to his pajamas, but slightly more appealing. Bojack was casual and confident enough that he could and would allow the casualty of the way he was to meet even a large crowd; he knew his status as a successful man was secure well enough and he could get away with it. But insecurity followed him eventually with everything he did, and he had settled for clothes that were part way between both for the need of outward impression and for the need of laid back comfortability.

"They seemed fine. All of them." Mocking exasperation crossed his tone with his next words. "Course they were thrilled to have big shots like me come up and talk to them. Tripped over their goodman words. That'll give us a head start at least, despite how obnoxious it was. But it'll make it easier to knock them off of their ass tonight anyway. Make way for a real shot of someone with experience so much that he doesn't even blink!"

You walked across the large space, almost briskly now, your arms pressed on your chest as you made your way to the half opened gray door.

"Just-ah-bah-" Clumsy, subconscious-dare to be defined as almost playful- mumbling from his lip as he played with his clothes. "-Just need to keep pulling my thing up on my legs. Nice and smooth."

You saw a flash of his cocky expression through the peak of the door, illuminated by the city lights that flooded like an unwanted visitor through the windows. He seemed content enough for the time that he had his focus on the tasks in front of him of the simplicity of wrestling with his clothes, with his eyebrows furrowed into that quirked flirtation right along with the flash of that same cocky grin that was at an odds with the tender wear on his face that suggested a far more troubled harboring of a heart than the superficial woman's man in front of you- "-Need to make sure there's not too much junk swinging around when they come over. If me waking up to them did that, can you imagine what it would be like if they actually saw some Horseman stuff?" A deep, throat chuckle. "I could totally see them with their mouths gaping open. That would be amazing!"

Bojakc had always been the kind of person content with entertaining the superficial activist. It was one of the places where you both differentiated the most-and also came together the deepest. The back of your hand grazed on the door.

"Can I come in?"

You leaned your body on the slightly cracked open door, your hand placed on the back with your knuckles pressing against it lightly.

"Oh."

There was notable change in Bojack's tone, a shift in his step as one foot was heard to be raised up. You could imagine him standing with his underwear partway pulled over his thighs, ears splayed back awkwardly, teeth poked out from his mouth and his eyes a combination of that cocky excitement and that tender nervousness that his expression was always switching between like the chemistry of two contradictions always falling apart and then threading back together again consintely in all of their strange intimacy of their own.

"Is it possible for you to stay out and wait until I- '' Awkward breath, a slight swear, and a slight stumble of feet against the floor. "Goddammit."

Your head rested on the front of the open cracked door. A tug of pressure overcame the edge of your lips, though it was reflective and bittersweet, rather than the peace that came along with an observation that was the smoothness known as endearing. Not because of a lack of want for the human confliction on the other side of the door, but because of the painful longing for it.

"I'll wait outside." Your hand began to ghost away, tone soft with patience. "Until you're ready."

Another chuckle. If there was anything that came along with how you had come to know his complicated language, a vague sign of defense.

"Please. I am ready. What, do you think I suggested this because I didn't want to show off the moves we had together? Whatever we got tonight, it's going to blow their dicks off. The looks on their face if we pull this off?" Another throated chuckle, met by another clumsy touch of his hand while pulling up his underwear. "I can't wait! Bet all the women are going to cream themselves and then go tell everyone about the ol' Bojack tricks and spits. God, I can see it on their faces. I can't wait!"

"I thought you were nervous." Your hands found their way across your arms as your eyes turned down against your arms.

"Nervous?" A thorat chuckle accompanied his slight tender apology that had been in his tone only a few minutes before was being buried under his other strategy, which was to simply feel that fire in his superficial denial. "Over these guys? Maybe the idea of it intentionally, sure. But after seeing the way they reacted. It'll be fine. We'll be great. There's been countless times that I've had to force people not to fawn over my house. Imagine the way they'll act now that they're inside of this place without being the wide eyes doe eyed people that most women and wannabe party animals were when they intentionally invited themselves in."

There was a pause from your end of the conversation. Bojack continued to occupy himself with the simplicity of the task of putting the clothes over his legs. Your eyes looked up to the indifference of the gray ceiling that met your troubled eyes as your hands gripped further on your elbows.

"One leg…right in the hole there. Jesus, they really make these things as stretched out with all the boring simplicity of boxers and somehow complicated at the same time. It's a talent."

The question needed to just be spoken-to keep it to yourself you knew was a punishment for the desire to protect that trembling confliction in the form of the man that was waiting on the other side of the now almost entirely closed door again as you knew it.

"Dammit. Ok-" Another breath. "Almost there! I got you, stupid farbric. You're not following anyone, pal."

"Is this something you want to do?" You leaned on the door as you turned back to the reflection of the neon light illuminated living room. You heard Bojack breath deep in that conflicted way at your suggestion, heavy and raspy, something about it natural and god given with the way it sounded that on your most warm days of tender observation with that lover's infaucation of his lost boyishness and odd natural combination of romantic human emotional intelligence and grace that came along with it.

"Comfortable?"

Had Bojack been a less graceful man with the natural charamsia of his words, his voice would have cracked with the clear unceritney that followed him in that moment.. The weight of the meaning behind his response made it clear through the slight tremble in his tone.

There was the sound of him adjusting his body as he raised himself up into a standing position. You would have recognized that slight grunt that left thick brawny lips as he delt with the aching of his bones, made for the natural maddening graze of teeth for both top and upper lip, a natural honeyed infatuation that made up the intimacy of the way you had experienced the pattern and excepcional chamber of those lips that both charmed and begged to be tugged at with excessive infantilization in bloody desperation in that most odd combination that made up the complexity of how life had modeled him.

"I just want to know that this isn't something you're doing for-" A slight shrugged met your shoulders. "For whatever reasons either yourself or whatever reason someone else dreamed up to make you believe you should."

"Honey, I think you're missing the entire point of the word consent. Or the reason why someone deals it out. It usually means that the person wants to. Definitely doesn't constitute for a questioning session beforehand."

That throated humored chuckle was still edging his words as he made his way to the cracked open door. You had memorized his facial features enough to see the underpart of the timid teasing when his puffy bottom eyes raised up in either nervousness or teasing, his white teeth smashed together in that awkward and adorable grin meant to convince himself and others the illusion of self control.

"Comfortable-for the right reasons. That's what I mean." Your head turned to the side of your shoulder as you heard him open it slightly. "Is it something you're doing that we can both feel good about later on?"

There was only that signature rasped sigh, as heavy as a nuanced in the layered signs of his breath as he released energy that already spoke that it was more conflicted than it let on. Without it being spoken out loud the both of you came to an understanding. This was your time to use those small open windows in the language of tenderness he spoke to open up whatever walls he was closing in for the sake of protection. Bojack was one of the most insightful and concerned man you had ever met, and his heart, as unrecognized as it was even when it was screamed from his actions, was one of the most determined and pure when put in the right place.

That, then, was the reason why you needed to force it out of whatever gritty placed he had jammed it into in the corner of his mind to uncurl the dust of desperation to self prove whatever narrative had molded him away from the most natural and pure existence of what he was when left alone from the pollution of the world.

"I know you." Your fingers subsciously caressed your elbow, as if that could have replaced the idea of doing it for him. "When you suggested it a few nights ago I thought it was unlike you. This idea of showing off how good you can have sex."

"What-because the guy known for smashing every coherent object in his path isn't something I wouldn't do?" There was a slight bubbliness to his throated chuckle this time. "Good one. I should write this down to give to any bad aspiring nobody comedian one day so he has some material to go off of. You'd be surprised at how often that happens."

You needed to speak the line again.

"I know you."

Hestienece. It was layered in its silence, the way you had expected it to be.

"You do."

"So let me do that. Why do you want to do this tonight?"

There was a jaded, annoyed breath.

"It doesn't have to be a big deal, honey."

"Doesn't it?"

"It-doesn't. Sometimes people just want to do things for the same of doing it. When did you start policing people on things?"

Your smile edged into a slight more knowing reflection, eyes turned downward as your body leaned on the door.

"How many people did you invite?"

"God. I don't know. Ten? Somewhere in the double digits area. Who knows. Point is is that they were one of those groups of people that would be splayed to have a house like this. Bet we'll have something just by the virtue of having them in our house from those small broken down houses, if nothing else."

He was trying to remain cocky, in control. This was only a further leverage from what was pulling him under. The fact that you spoke his language and the tone of his intention, and that, in his conflicted torment towards knowing but not being able to understand how to respond to that romanticism and the inherent human intimacy that came along with it, the slight wobble and that entered his teasing and attempt at a casual tone-the same way he has spent his entire taking that tone of casualty and superficiality in the hopes that he could bury his heart made for depth that had been thrust into a coed of dense people with even more dense intentions and viewpoints of the world that would use that tenderness to their weaponize it or use it against him. From the moment Bojack had moved to Los Angeles his perception of that had been crammed into his skull with the same force people used with their inherently hard edged actions that was an extension of the lack of depth in their heart that they suffered for and made others suffer for in kind.

The fact of the matter was that Boajck knew he would have suffered more had he kept to that soft and more endearing man he had already been abused out of from his home enough as it was, and the superficiality of what made him what he was had been his weaponized protection. But he gave himself away the more he was seen by you; he simply did, whether he meant to or not. The way his hand would have a slight hidden attempt of movement over his stomach whenever your eyes guided over his body as you finish trembling your hands against his shirt and helping to ease it off, the slight side step to turn on that animalistic instinct to get away from any suffocation that his insecurity and fear may have been triggered from by you from the shadows of other woman's past judgement despite that there was burning in your eyes of how much you wanted to communicate how tender you wanted to be with him. In the past the superficiality had been a useful and defensive weapon that he had believed in, and there had been plenty of justification in that belief.

"I know you. All those people you invited tonight, they'll be seeing your body exactly as it is, down to every last way that it is. Folds-" Your eye turned over to the creek of the door. "Hills."

"Folded?" He laughed defectively, through with the clear intent for you to hear it as something you would be convinced with as much as he wanted to convince himself. "Where is this vocabulary coming from?"

"You know how much I love you. But you know more than anyone how other people are."

"I do." A pause. "I do…know that."

You heard him playing with several bits of plastic; you assumed it was the small brush he used to sort his mane. He rarely did it; his mane was usually naturally in place as it was, short enough to naturally go into the places the strands needed to. The extra effort showed that he was either procrastinating opening the door and seeing you more than the words that the context of the conversation provided-or that he was even more torn apart over what he preceptived as the hopelessness of his appearance enough as it was.

"Which is why I want to have tonight to try and prove them wrong with whatever weird insult shit they come up with next if I ever get the courage to go out in public at the beach shirtless that you're always suggesting I could try. Which I want to-but, not yet."

Rushed, childish, defensive at the end. All the language Bojack displayed when he was entering the cobweb of chaos that somehow managed to be artistic from how it met your eyes that were specifically made for unfolding the entertainment of what would be interpreted as toxic chaos for a set of eyes met with less calairty to unfold him from it.

"Double digit number of people."

"That is what I stated, yes."

"All of them coming to see us get naked."

"Not just us, honey. Jesus. A lot of them are also doing it. That would be the entire extension of the event."

"Everyone."

A grunt.

"Seeing your body."

A slight pause again.

"Mm-hm."

He sounded like a timid boy trying to convince himself of his own conviction that he hadn't bitten off more than he could stand. Your head turned down as you traced the certain kind of modern smooth floor that only existed in the more square and isolated houses in Los Angeles.

You turned your head back to the crack of the door.

"That's what you want?"

"God-" There was that layered and heavy breath to his sigh. "Why are you pushing this? If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't." You heard him reach over for his phone, the sound of it unlocking coming along with the slight undertone of his words. "It's not like you to try and push something I suggested.

Your lips pressed together lightly. You stared at the slight illumstinscen pattern of the blue lights that traced against the ceiling, the neon light grazing on the otherwise indifferent mottled grey patterns.

"If I know anything about how you carry your insecurity, I know that the last thing you would want is to show off one of the most intimate things we do. And your body, in general."

There was an impatient sound that left his lips. But when he spoke again, his words were annoyed but in that soft edged way.

"Ok. Yes. This includes my body. That's the entire point of wanting to smash in front of other people. It gets people out of their comfort zone. It's different." The annoyance to his tone increased, and you could hear his frantic dialling on the phone keyboard. "I don't know why there has to be a point to everything."

"It's so unlike you. The entire idea of it." You paused. "Did someone pressure you into this?"

This time the annoyance that left his mouth was full fledged.

"No, no one pressured me into this. No one physically swung something in my face and bribed me into doing this. Thank you for the investigation, though. It's clearly wanted."

A swear left his lips in a hushed whisper. You settled for grazing your hands on your elbows as your kept your eyes turned up to the ceiling, if only for the sake of having some kind of coherent grounding technique. Pushing Bojack was far from pleasant, and having to see the entanglement of whatever went on in his torment but ultimately preciously human intention was always something that had no coherent answer or end, much less clarity-but that was all the reason why these conversations were worth it. And beyond that, the extend of the compelling and astounding journey of what genuine and worthwhile love felt like. In your case, that was embedded in the low toned and raspy annoyance of a honeyed wrapped plump man.

"You cherish our intimacy."

"Oh, Lord. You're starting this."

"It's the only thing you want, what you hope to find relief in." Your head snapped over your shoulder as your words took on a bit more of a command for them to be listened to. There was only the slight sound of a low rasped disgruntled whisper of "bullshit" under his frustrated tone, though you knew that this was only because of his own confliction that he spent every day trying to figure out despite what seemed like the exhausted odds of an end of being able to successfully do that.

"Your reputation for being known as a smash and pass guy is only because you doubted you deserved or believe that kind of love existed, especially for someone like you."

"You don't need to spell it out. I never asked for you to do that, and I'm still not asking now."

You closed your eyes as you leaned on the door. It folded backward slightly under your weight. It felt like an unnatural conversation to say it out loud, but you knew Bojakc needed to hear it. It was the kind of emotion that was felt deep and raw between the both of you, the emotional equivalent to the profound and unexplainable nostalgila and of a transcending feeling when observing the sunlight on the edge of the balcony that overlooked the rest of the city that felt as tragic and as far removed and free from the loud pollution of humanity as much as the intimacy and that profound warmth you felt for Bojack made you feel, but with his timid and conflicted, always at guilt heart, he needed the words to be spoken out loud. And, frankly, for yourself, you needed to hear them too; to reground yourself back to the path you had been born to walk for him, but in these times it was easier to forget his own insecurity. You were only human yourself, though there was something about his lost chaos that caused you to feel grounded, that made your own version of your incessant human lostness the same of which everyone had in their own way a tool of profound nature rather than a vice.

"Ew, gross. Can't believe this cog is still in my phone. "A deflective sigh came from the other side of the phone, a slight tired tenderness to his tone despite his rude words. "But I think he'll enjoy it. May as well give him that before I delete him from my contacts forever."

"But I helped you believe that."

"Typically when someone helps someone, they do it out of the idea of caring. Which therefore includes not bragging immediately after." His voice was obtaining that dry and tired done, deepened with a profound sense of tired grace that only he managed to carry with the way the world inevitably changed and modelled a person eventually with time, and almost never for the better. Bojack has been far from the exception to that, but, for all his erratic destruction, that natural grace he carried in response to it made him stand out exceptionally.

"And through that I've seen how profound you are with our making love, how worthy you've always been of true intimacy. Why are you trying to turn that into a cheap bragging ritual tonight?"

"Jesus. Okay. I get it, you don't like the idea."

You turned your head downward. A bitter reminiscent grazed your lip.

"I think it would be fun."

"Your critique is really showing it."

"I'm glad that you would want to feel good enough about yourself that you think you could do something like that."

You raised your body off of the door slightly as your body turned. Lightly, after a moment of hesitance, did you allow your hand to knock on the door. "Can I come in?"

There was a mumbled raspy of a few incoherent swears and breaths from the other side of the door. There was a heaviness that followed him everywhere with his confliction and annoyance. For a moment did you pause as you heard the rustle and the general sounds of his movement coming from the other side of the door, and you assumed from his heavy conflict and the edged rasps of his voice that he was going to refuse you. It happened little and it was few and far between, and it was getting kesser the more you were able to speak each other's language. But after a moment there was a wisp of a movement, and along with that the nudge of the door as it was gradually opened.

You stepped back in a small entrance to those tired puffy eyes as those dry and exhausted, somehow teasing but still exhausted, eyes met between the new corner. His long face looked especially haunted as it complicated the emptiness of his eyes, and haunted look overcoming his snout as his expression took you in, more heavy and with his mane more dishevelled than you would have expected it to be.

He stepped back, his brawny arm peeking out slightly through the white of his shirt. His other hand was pausd midway from placing what looked like something between a tuxedo wrap over and a simple grey shrug.

"Would you like to continue this conversation critique together in the context of the context with actual eye contact, or would you like to do the more easy thing and keep the physical distance and intimacy outside?"

Your eye turned to the grey wrap around that was placed against his chubby palm, the material dangling above the chest that was traced by the endless illuminated light outside.

"Are you going to wear that over before everyone comes, or is this a hiding yourself all night before the big event thing?"

"I don't know." A jaded defence crossed his tone, uptight with an attempt at casualty. "I guess I thought I would just have it by me so that I could switch throughout the night based off of whatever I felt I wanted to be tonight."

His tone and response was defensive and quick, the same way he was so quick witted and sharp in his response that it showed off his intelligence naturally. But the edge was what caught your attention. You made your way inside as your hand grazed on the side of the door as you stepped inward. His ears flicked back in a slightly dismissive fashion as he watched you with his hard gaze, though there were pools of want and incessant insecurity and, beyond those layers that always were present in hi complicated layer eyes, the desire of the most rewarding intimacy. But you both had to get there first, and, as always with the buddy tormented but compelling human heart with Bojack, you knew there was a lot to unravel to get there.

"The craziness and the instability is all you can function in, right? Once that feeling becomes who you are and becomes familiar, it feels more comfortable to sit in that chaos than it does to try and go after the the stable, even if it infinity better in the long run. But the rush to transition, not worth it."

His arms were crossed, slight tense on the muscles on his face, ears lowered back. Your head turned.

"What?"

His eyes turned up into an annoyed gesture as his hand raised up in the same sentiment.

"Come on. You told that to me before, but I can't repeat back the same thing now?"

Your hand grazed against the door as you shut it from behind you, the sound of the weight of the door meeting against the hinges with a soft pressure as it met against the closure of the structure of the light ridden room.

"Is that what this is for you, then?"

Your hand graviated away from the door and there was the suggestion of intimacy as your hand reached out halfway between the space of the both of you to meet against his arms, crossed against the white of his shirt that showed off the olded curve of his plush body, brawny skin a stark contrast between the white of the shift and the dark hue under his eyes that suggested struggle and lack of sleep. The hardened announce was even more of an impressive combination. His head turned ears splayed back as his eyes rolled up to the window as an act of distraction.

"Just-saying." There was a shrug of his shoulders that seemed lime a physical pout, his hard eyes turned into distant exasperation, though the slough exhaust of the way his eyebrows sat on his face gave away his true emotional wear and exhaustion. "You always offered me that advice, so now I'm throwing it back with what you think is going in." His body eased into the word 'think' with a pointed thrust of his hip, and that mental energy transferred to him abruptly picking back up the pull over of his tuxedo again.

"Emphasis on think. Maybe for once we should both stop with the thinking and just get ready for the fraction coming up. Lots of it, and better time than these losers that are coming up, trust me."

He wiggled his eyebrows at you as he turned downward to fumble with the edge of his pants, though the vulnerability in his expression gave away his true tender precious helplessness as he gazed up at ou while leaning down and adjusting the fabric on his hips. in what was meant to be an attempt at a playful fashion as his always wet emotion laden layered eyes turned up to you in playful, or attempt at it, as the impossible innocence of his eyes turned and grazed into the extension of your body.

"If that's what you want."

"It is."

Edged, jaded, pointed. Defensive. His ears being lowered and that slight temperament in his eyes betrayed tenderness that he knew you would speak through the cracks of his language, though he would feign frustration to hide it.

"I'm sorry." He turned his eyes from where they had become occupied with his pants. "Have I not made that clear?"

There was an undressing in those eyes though it wasn't physical. He had a hunger for physical need a smooch as any man did but with Bojack there was a strange layer of torment under it-as if he thought it was the only thing he coil have, all that excited, though the brimming and barley hidden emotion under his eyes gave away a different kind of desire that had never come even close to scratched, only further invalidated to the point of disbelief that it existed at all. One had to experience before they could truly believe, after all-to observe was never enough to fuel genuine faith, much less action in it.

You stepped forward until he eased his body upward into a slightly more straightened position, eyes vacant and gazing expectantly at you through the uncertain detail of his lost and easily influenced innocence.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

His eyes flicked up in a vague announce,though it was more of an emotional preparation than it was of anything else. "Here we go. Of what?"

"Separate yourself."

"I'm not separating myself. They 're not even here yet to hear their well deserved thrown nickname-or, depending on your experience, rightful categorization."

"Exactly. You're doing it before the people even come over."

"Exactly." A cocky white tooth crowded grin met with a furrowing of pointed eyebrows met yours as he flicked his hand at you with a gesture. "Now you get it."

"You don't think it's not going to transfer over to harder days if you separated yourself from them by calling them losers right from the start?"

His almond pupils flittered between yours, a hint of a moment of considered connection. A breath of exasperation left his lips to break out as he turned his attention away from you as much as he could manage, settling for playing with the edge of his pants again.

"Jesus." A timid shrug, still with that want of cocky confidence leveraging himself against the pain of insecurity, but giving away some slight credit towards condisration. "I know these guys. Or-people like them. It's not about separation."

"That's exactly what it's about."

"It's just about experience." His hands flew in front of him as annoyance crossed his tense expression, eyebrows furrowed, eyes closed, teeth clashed and ears lowered in frustration. "The less you expect from anyone for the good you think they'll give you, the easier it gets."

His hands played as suggested sorrowful emotion in his eyes inhabited his thought as his eyes turned away from yours a few inches. "Maybe I need to teach you that, I don't know."

Your eyes lowered, your hand pausing remotely in their direction towards his own conflicted movement of his chubby palms and the slight dance of his thick and brawny arms. There would be no lightness to this activity, no matter how it went-not really. Nothing was ever truly light with Bojack; that was one of the reasons why he always dressed it up as it being so. His childihsness was the protection from that layered, uwnanted and pained depth that followed his every move that made everything icnessant and painfully complicated, most espiclaly because what was meant to be a carefree person and naturally playful in how he responded to life naturally dressed with an unwnated melancholy since he was born.

"You wear it well." Your mumbled tone left your lips in that inmate fashion that spoke through every intimate heated breath that you loved him. It was a simple conceot, but it never got dried with who it was embodied to-and it would it never not be needed with the tormented timeline that had made a hard and challenging life. Your lips breathed an almost sickly want as the whispered breath of the words met the back of the plush crwany hue of his shoulder while your lips met his.

He chuckled. "What-the cheap sweatpants I'm wearing?" He rolled them up to the curve of his stomach with a slight nudge of his hands. "No, you're right. The poor wanks at this thing will cream their pants over this shit thinking its worth a lot." he cackled in that boyish amused way. "I forget how easy it is to impress these guys. This should be fun!"

Your hands brushed down his arms. It never got old, the feeling of that sstounding stikr eof warmth that flowed through you atthe feeling of the intimacy of arms that were so naturally loveable that it seemd impossible to comprhened that they had gone so logn without such.

"If somehting it feels good it's because its the way its meant to be, if something dosen't, its because there's somehtign wrong with it that our exsitence and being isn't made for."Your lip pressed on his shoulder again. "That's why we have the idea oof right or wrong, of what sould or shouldn't happen-because there are rules in our inner sleves that tell us what we should want and what we shouldn't. Anyone who follows through with either the good or the bad of what we should or shouldn't do, for whatevr reason that was laid out before we existed that's bigger thna all of us no matter what we believe, will have it catch up tot ehm eventually. That's why we know what guilt and wantof redmeption is." Your hand pressed a gentle rytham on his shoulders. "That's why people come to behave."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You shouldn't have been given what happened to you-but you were it so well. Not in the sense that it makes it justdied, but the grace you carry-I'm convinced its meant that you were made to heal from it. ANd that pursuing tat will lead you to good things, because that's what should have happeend from the start."

His shoulders twitched under your touch. Another heavied sigh left his lips as he enfolded himself into you-but a reach out of a chubby wrist as it guided on your hand pushed you away with a few inches as he both caressed but nudged away your hand on his shoulders a few inches.

"We london't have to do this right now. I came here to get wrecked and shreked-and that's what you should want for the night too." His chubby fingers caressed your hands one alst time before nudging you away. "Not everything needs to be thought about."

"Unless it's better for it to be."

"Better for what?"

"The lack of punishment."

"Not everything is a punishment. Some things are just for wild fun. Do you not know what my entire past is?"

"Showing off your body."

Your hand rested on the pudge of his back this time, feeling the natural warmth of the radiation guide from it as your palm pressed against it, the coarse black hair meeting your palm with a graze. Bojack let out a layered breath of a sigh. "What you know I cherish." Your hand travelled into a caress. "More than anything. But I know you're insecure about it. And you know what people are like out there." You paused as the words sink into the light of the bedroom until you leaned forward and allowed your lips to press on the same place your hand was a moment before. "And you're telling me that's not a punishment of some kind."

"It's just-something I want to try to see how it feels, ok?"

His voice acquired that vulnerable grace it had when you knew you were reaching the core, or even the slightest hint of it, of a tender wound of a truth being prodded at. As beautifully emotional and artistic as it sounded, the way Bojack was capable of, you almost wished it hadn't-it meant you were right.

Then again, it wasn't hard to be right about Bojack. He had a tendency to wear his heart on his sleeve, even if he actively fought it; if anything, he had the rare quality of it showing even more because of that fight. He was one of those rare vulnerable people that were so desperate for tenderness that it was embodied in everything he did-one of the reasons why he suffered undoubtedly, especially with where he had been forced to to find that fake humanity dressed as love known as having a career of on and off successful acting in Los Angeles.

He knew it, others felt it, and they had no trouble taking advantage of that human weka vulnerability that had made him move and be attracted to Los Angeles to begin with; something his vulnerable and timid essence was made the opposite for, but the amount of love he needed to make up for the lack of it he had been born into had twisted on the surface who he wished he was.

It would be been so much of an easier life would of been had his heart actually been that person, if it matched the people that surrounded him that had it through and through, rather than an aimless child looking for love imitating the behaviour of that of which surrounded him in the same naivety and human desperation for the healing of belonging that had been robbed from him since the day he was born, driving him to, the same way it did for any, a certain madness.

You were sure that the madness was present under his desire to do this tonight; and just as well were you sure Bojack would do anything but admit anything as painfully layered as that directly.

"I don't even know why it has to matter so much."

If there was anything that guided you to him like a natural artistic addiction, it was how the tone of his voice revealed itself in its nuance through how he spoke. This time there was an entrance of a vulnerable frustration, but beyond that edge of guidance was the nerve of him wanting to be left alone. You would have given him that-had it not been for how deeply you felt the pain under that request, the same way there was that layers of countless complexity that haunted someone over a period of time in their life, no after what they did or didn't believe. And someone as tender and lost, with those secret narratives under the layer of how he spoke, specifically, and even more painful because you were drawn to be that presence for him.

His ears flicked in annoyance while his eyebrows lowered and complimented that particularly hard gaze. "It's' not as if anything is going to happen." His ears up his fingers into a gesture while his expression quirked into that cocky playful grin. "I specifically went out of my way to make sure that no one or anything is going to have anything to do with any significant gossip. The guys I invited over and their women are total chuds. They're not interested in going out and spewing out some article after about whatever weird thing happens tonight. They just want to have a good time at a cool guys house." He turned his attention to the coat as he wrapped it against his arms and began to raise it up on his arm. "Lucky us."

You hesitated, but you took the overall message for what it was; the want to be left alone for the time being. You fell into the most natural and human feeling, especially for two people who had been grated for the amount of time they had that made everything good that a person need feel that much more compelling in a knee buckling rich fashion; the simple act of allowing yourself to graze your hands on his suite so that it rested firmly and comfortable against his shoulders. He let out a grunted rasp at the feeling.

He would have done anything for comfort. Truly suffering people would humble and do anything to feel any sense of relief, and you were always seeing that in him in how he gave the details of himself away.

"God-" His snout scrunched into a pout as his teeth clashed as his plump body spasmed slightly. "More need to make sure I get some good legal blow before a low down." He raised himself up as his hands rubbed the back of the middle part of his overcoat as you touch grazed away, his hands resting on the middle part of his back as he turned to you and raised a brow. He flicked his finger at you with a playful cock of his brow, an odd ends to the age of his body or the laden of heavy insecurity that followed his move, as well as that natural cause he had for seeing the inevitable hash grace of life. "Right?"

Your hand caressed on the grey fabric of his jacket, smoothing out the wrinkles as one last cause for comfort in the interaction. "I don't understand why you're putting yourself out there."

"Putting myself out there-when my entre career is baked off that." He looked over his shoulder as he gave a raise of his eyebrow.

"Not your body. Bare."

He turned, sharply with that life he had in him and edge of wit, but slowed by the natural humble precious fragility that dressed his every move. His eyes squinted as his wrinkles raised as he snapped his hands forward.

"And I don't understand why you can't just let us have fun. Fun. I've been having fun for what, twenty five plus years and there's never been any question about why." He chuckled with a deep rasp in his throat while he attempted a look of casualty. "Women just do it with me. Maybe you should join them."

You closed your eyes as you rested your head on his shoulder, leaning your face on the side of the thick of his clothes. Your hand rested on the side of his arms, the thickness of it meeting against as the warmth radiated from it through the cloth. Boajck's mumbles increased under his lips as he continued to play with the to of he collar in a fidgeted and annoyed mark of his hands.

"I would feel better if you kept yourself clothed tonight at least."

"Jesus." A chuckle that sounded more like a jaded exhaust left his lips. "Do you know how many women have seen my body? It's already broken glass. News flaws, there's no suspense. It's not a big deal for either end except for the one worrying about it."

"I don't want people seeing you tonight and coming out with some stroy they can use against you. I can't take that."

Bojack paused as his fingers continued to thread on the back of the small collar that rested on the overcoat. Your reached out and met the struggle of his own fingers with your own, until he let out a particularly defeated sigh while his shoulders lowered. Your hands met his shoulders and they caressed the edges of them, and you felt the moulded plush of his body visibly ease under your touch.

"I don't-" His hands played between the plump thickness of his chubby wrists and the sleeves of his coat. "Like it when you say certain things. Like that."

Your hand paused from its caressing down his arm as you rested your hands on his elbow. He looked over his shoulder as he watched you with dry eyes.

"I can hear it from other people. That judgmental, 'look at how pathetic Bojack is' tone. But not you."

You felt your own want of advice, admittedly with a bit of pressure behind it more than the average and wanted gentleness between the both of you would have called for in your preferred moments when time passed as easily as the nature of two people who had managed to give each other what they needed would have; with a warmth and an energy behind it that it was filled with a profound meaning that would have carried the both of you with a much more compelling ease that it would have otherwise has it not been for that chemistry.

Bojack picked up on that slight change; it was only by a few soft changes in your face and a slight change in the energy that the both of you could pick up on easily just by virtue of the chemistry of knowing one another and being in rhythm enough to pick up on those small changes that were vulnerable to the both of you, whether you liked it or not. That boyish stubborn pout, though it took on the slightly difference change on a tension a little more intense and unpleasant known as his own jaded annoyance, crossed against his lips as he threaded his hands on the collar that rested on the back of his neck.

"Thought so."

You pausd. "I didn't mean it as judgement."

"Of course you didn't. No one ever does. And that's all that matters, right?"

A swear left his breath as he played with what must have been the uncomfortability of the scratch of the fabric against his skin.

"Goddammit. They always want to make it as uncomfortable as possible when you try something new with clothes."

He was too cross in his annoyance, and somewhere in there, embarrassment, to say anything beyond that, but you could tell through the secret layers of the messages he spoke due to his immaturity of wyat he was asking for. Your hand reached up as it began to play with the scrap of his trembling hands against the back of his collar. He took a breath of defeat as he felt the way you began to adjust it, his shoulders lowering as the tender touch of your hands began to take the place of his erratic and misplaced ones.

"Thank you." Through the view you had of looking over his shoulder you could see himself playing with his palms. "It's just this one part of the back of my collar. If I could just get it to where the patch of my mane is, that would be easier."

There was a pause as you adjusted the fabric. You could hear the conversations passing by even before they were spoken.

"I'm sorry."

Bojac let out a muffled breath. "Don't be."

"I just want to protect you." His ears lowered vaguely at the admittance, and your voice was just as gentle as you knew it needed to be. Your hand reached out as iit caressed against his shoulder again, this time for no reason other than to do it, and you both knew it. Bojack turned around to you, reflection of the lights as the day faded into the superficial noise that made up the city left its own reflective wake in turn against the reflection of his brawny skin. His eyes looked impossibly conflicted in a human way; in a simpler and traighrfoward turn, they were watered with the heaviness that came with the reflection of the easily overlooked and common but profound form known as sadness.

"I just mean that I can'-" He waved his hand in front of him to stop the nervous form of habit he had with his tendency of rubbing his fingers against his against his chubby wrist. It came across as an awkward motion instead as he sighed as his hand found its natural slightly more forgiving place against the back of his neck while his eyes flicked downward. "I feel like, as someone that is so…close to me. That I can finally accept as caring about me. I can't hear it from you. Things with other people that I would invalidate or make fun of or roll my eyes at."

"I was trying to give you advice." You paused. "Maybe, a better way to describe it is-us advice." You tried to allow a smile to at least shadow across your lips, but it felt more like a treamored tug against the edges of your mouth more than anything else. "Since we end up going down the same road together anyway." You kept your voice sound, every sound an invitation the way that came so naturally to you when you spoke to him. In a certain profoundly painful sort of way that came with all suffering was there the complicated sense of wanting to coddle him, though it wasn't in a defeated or an infantilizing way, as someone with a more superficial heart and experience would see it as.

Rather, it was in the sense that there was something so precious, rare, and human into his natural timid uncertainty that was impossible to find in anyone, much less for someone his age, and even less for someone who has in a career that asked for the complete opposite of an individual-yet somehow it grew deeper in him with time rather than taken away, and, as the world as those who inhabited it were, they saw it as something to be pathetic or mocked more than anything else. In response, your desire to care for him grew all the deeper and to protect that impossible tender helplessness that was usually inhabited by rough edged apathy by people who had gone through less than half by his age.

Bojack breathed deeply, his hand scratching the back of his neck as his eyes darted away in an uncertain glance. He look as he always did, especially with the reflection of the noisy and always obnoxious city light that contracted against that timid and worn form on his movements and the the drag and wear on his face; timid, plump, helpless and powerful at the same time, though the way he carried any power seemed so at an odds to the natural tender apology that he carried with him at all times. And yet, they coexisted at an compelling ends of what made up the complexity of a person all at the same time.

" It hits differently with you. I can't take it." His troubled almond expression didn't dare look at you as they kept staring downward at the floor. His hand graduated from scratching the back of his neck as it found its place by his palms while they played. "I need you to know that I can't handle hearing anything too rough for you."

You didn't say anything this time. As it was with the endless complications-usually unpleasant, that made how other people's callous actions and words broke down someone like Bojack over time, yourself included, no one was exempt, really-you knew it had polluted torments and narratives in Bojack's already troubled mind that he didn't understand, but certainly felt. You could tell he struggled to find the words of what was bothering his foggy mind such as it did when emotions rose to the high peak the way his was. No matter how gifted with insight or pose anyone could be, it caught up to everyone eventually; that conflicted fog of incessant humanity and existing within it that seemed made to confuse and render helpless any given person into troubled bewilderment eventually, no matter how gifted they were in any area-phycology or insight included. A person as easy lost as Bojack had no chance; and, such as the way that lack of logical with love was, you only loved him deeper for it.

"And I think it's weird the way you word things sometimes. I guess I-" His hand lifted from his troubled movement against his chubby palm.

"I know this isn't something I should expect, or maybe it is, I don't know. I'm learning. But I feel like for someone that I've managed to be able to say I love you to-I thought there would be a place where the things you said would always feel right. Where I knew I wouldn't have to worry about double meanings for being misspoken to or told I was a joke or ridiculous or insecure or lost."

His ears flicked as an edge entered his voice, eyes flicked up into a rolled annoyance as he spoke. You allowed the tumble wave of annoyance to enter his processing as needed.

"I expect you to be safe." His fingers found their way by his wrist again. There was a disappointment in his eyes; whether it was for his expectations that led him to more pain, at you or at any other endless emotion on the spectrum that it could have caused, you hardly knew. You supposed it didn't matter; it existed, and you wanted to be there, in whatever layered and complicated executed way that it came.

But Bojack had his own capacity for grace in a way most had never seemed aware of-and that was no expectation to the trouble laden expression on his troubled face that had an extension of a portrait of them, even now.

Especially now, even. You had been given the eyes to see it, and you wanted to give that grace not only the relief of being recognized, but also tenderly cradled. The trouble on his brawny skin, the glow of his diamond reflected against the light, exhausted and heavy laden. To not give it whatever you could in whatever way was possible was more pain than you could fathom, now that yo had felt ven half of what he was and of all the complicated emotion narratives that made him who he was in is profound human complexity that you felt you were made to understand and love.

A heavy sigh left his lips as his eyes stayed downward. "Maybe that's expecting too much, I don't know."

His arm found his shoulder, softened and shurk in himself.

"I know I shouldn't. I know it's wrong and naive to and I didn't mean to, but-it just happened. And when you sound like any other girlfriend, news reporters…friend"- His eyes rolled up into an excuse of exhaustion-not abrasive, but rather only worn with experienced. "I've ever had. All the flaws that came with it." His head shook, natural troubled eyes and tip of his ears flickering as his arms shrunk further on his chest. "I can't take that."

That tender vulnerability overcame his face as his eyes turned to those wet enigmatic gentle pools of desperation, said pools turning downward as he played with his palms. His disposition was changing entirely, ears lowered and a hue of several wounds dancing over his expression. His jaded and vulnerable nature was on and off like that; at first one and then the other, flip flopping without warning in seconds.

There was a self consciousness in the white of his eyes that was increasing. You took it on yourself to step forward and his head turned to you, stepping back with instinct; though truthfully he gave away his want in those unspoken stanzas in his eyes that was full of more soul than most without even the strain of effort.

"I didn't mean for it to come across that way."

Your eyes turned down to where his hands were playing. A slight inch of his eyes widened, vulnerable to his surprise the easy and timid way he always was that gave away his true weak and precious disposition, something that you found so tender that it robbed you away from any bad behavior or even temptation towards sin as you were instead drawn fully into his conflicted, incessantly fragile, tender grace of relentless destruction and insecurity that was so delicately modeled and easily destroyed at the act of advantage he had. He was born of such a foggy contradiction that very little, if anyone, had the ability to be able to see, much less love it. The way Bojack was made was like that; confusion for most. he was a reflection of what frustarted most people; a lack of following the rules of what people thought someone should be, and to follow ceran rules of what they believed in conventional though was or wasn't. The same way the contradictions of what made up the complications of humanity defied what people wanted it to be; easy, simple, and making sense.

Bojack was at the forefront of those complications, rendering him to disdain for the maorty who lacked nuance of thought to see people as what they really were and what they needed, or of what someone existed as or what he didn't. This lead to frustration when they precieved him and complicated people like him, the foggy and profound complciaitons of a person's both tragic and joyful and modled into a ball of one of what made a person that led one way that lead to another that was a conclusion of neither sense or nonsense and proving more than anything else that there was no answer or control or even moral sense or justice or revenge; there just was,and Bojack just was, and that drove people mad. Outside of the rules where people like Bojack existed the majority didn't understand there was nothing but the empty space of the existence of the earth, and that was all that waited for them at the end of that lack of their understanding.

How lucky you were, then, to have the gift and the ability and the muse made for it to be saved from that frustrated patterns of people's existence.

"You didn't?" His arms crossed as his eyes flicked away with a slight disarray of disdain, slight attempt of hiding genuine surprise. "Because usually when someone starts critiquing people on their choices like how to unwind and enjoy themselves like that it's usually for a reason." He lifted up a finger to cut you off when you opened up your lips to response to compliment your worried expression. "And that reason is usually to ell someone that they're reason is better than someone else's'."

The muscles on your expression lowered. Your guided your fingertips against his wrist, and he didn't either pull away or put into it; he simply allowed it to happen, at times the best sense of affection either of you could manage to recieve or afford, and for now, it was enough.

"I know how you are." Bojack breathed deep at the simple statement. "I know who you are." Your eyes turned down to his fleshy wrists that met your fingertips and the soft pattern that was made within them. "I also know that's something you've wanted and craved your entire life without any extent of relief. And I want to try to give that to you."

That compelling empty and distant look entered Bojack's eyes as his expression turned down to watch the rhythm of your was a reflection of the sentiment that made up your own eyes whenever you found yourself in a similar place, and you both met there through those moments, whether together or apart.

His ears flicked as his head turned away and over to the door. His chubby wrist slipped out of your intimacy and affection, though not before he could give the slightest notable squeeze ofhis fingertips against your hand; the slightest small love language that could be transferred no matter what other languages were being spoken with words at any given context of the both of you and your relationship.

"Better start making the drinks." His voice was focused with the new context of the subject, slightly awkward, and a bit over bloated with emotional denial, but you let him have that as you always did. He pressed his hand on the middle part of his back as his eyes squinted with a comical expression of back pain, though it still blew your protection for him to a profound degree to see the way his back contorted under his hand as his stomach stuck out with its age and plump with emotional issues while his white teeth pressed together. You knew that although he was playing off the ache of the bones to break up the heaviness of the moment, there was genuine strain of a long life and aching bones surrounding his body. "I need to make some party favors or we'll have a bunch of cry babies coming over tonight begging on their knees for some substance that I know they came here for more than the subject of the gathering or the company. Who needs that."

His voice was thick with the strain of his bones, his eyes now dry in that matter of business way as his hands threaded on the door, and with a creak it opened. You followed him, arms threaded on your chest while your own part way formal dress, part way pajama dress flowed down your body as you followed him to the kitchen.

"You want some? Pre-party drink." He turned as he shok one of the bottles he reached for that laid in a clutter of bottles that sat against the counter.

You looked at the label of the bottle he was shaking at you. Vodka Ultimate Raspberry Implosion, written in cursive letters. You stepped forward as you took it from his hand that shook it at you lazily as you read over the label. Bojack's eyes softened as he saw you pop open the bottle, taking a chug from it straight from the bottle as he turned back to his own and grasp it by the thin neck of the glass.

"That's my girl." He turned his head back as he ducked the bottle against his mouth, pouring it back until the lazy swipe of his sleeve caught the slob on the side of his mouth. His eyes looked confident, reassured, and detached with that foggy grant that came from the first few sips of drinking as the slight hint of his cocky eyes with a lazy self reassured grin as he watched you, back setting for leaning on the counter.

You took another swing, and already were the surrondings becoming blurred enough and your mind loose enough that the detached and soothig feeling of their no longer being any bourndies of any subconcious wall took place. Bojack chcukled deep in his throat as that sprinkled ensthiam overcame his eyes that was somewhere in between boyish and that addening extension of slight love for troble and malice only children held.

"Whoa. Look at you go!" Another raspy laugh as he ducked the bottle backward. His eyes were squinted in that precious michvlousness that both inspired and soothed you into the deepest and warm famialir comfort. "That bad antipciating these losers coming up?"

Your fingertip traced the tip of the bottle. The edges were becoming more blurred, and you foun you enjoedy that-sobconiosuly encouraged it, even

"If you keep this up, maybe this refusal of genuine support will be a benefit to you."

Bojack's ears flickered in amusement as his own drunk freedom sparked further in his eyes, white teeth splayed across his snout in a twisted grin.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Another swing from his chubby hand, a hand pressed on the curve of his stomach. You stepped forward, all with the usual unbearable want to curve your arms around him. He knew the pattern of how you both functioned and his smile increased into something more innocent and less teasing, the cramoed muscles on his face that came from that easily entertained boyish amusemnet smoothing out in one of the most innonce grins as the same sentiment in his eyes softened, a troubling and precious contrast compared to the wear on his bags from age, self inner torture and drinking. It amazed you and enlightened you, even now in the most tender and alluring way, how he could contrast such a spectrum of human emotion all within such a short time frame.

"If you force yourself to be alone in your worst devastations, your strength will increase and once you heal from that suffering, regular life and challenges will become easier, as well as facing things alone."

Bojack wiggled his eyebrows at you, a gleam of his usual satisfaction of that playful gleam in his eyes, edge on that edge of his humor that followed him so easily.

"Is that all it takes? For me to isolate and then shit gets easier. Was that something a lot of therapists said that you listened to with your cute little senses?"

His expression was drunkenly playgful, but there was a tone of disbelief, and, maybe if he had loved you less, mocking. His hand waved in a circular playful gesture as his eyes gleamed and twisted up to the ceiling ashe swayed, barely catching falling downward with his causal teasing as he caught his palm against the counter.

"Because I would have already figured it all out by now if it was that easy. I would be cruising easier than anyone who thought they had something big figured out-" His eyes settled into an exported tired dryness as his chubby arm laily indicated toward you, partly also a swipe of a gesture indicating the want of swiping away the complications of pollution of what surrounded him in every form they took. "And no one would be taking or talking shit from me a-gain."

He took another lay swing of the bottle, chucking raspily as his body swayed and his eyes had a conutined look of a broken disarray of lack of awareness of where he was, both physically as well as the context of the conversation.

"Cute advice though." His eyes were softened both by the liquor as well as the tender intimacy that followed him when he took you in. He raised his hand up that was gripping the beer with a gentle raise. "Here's to advice and believing in it and seeing where it goes, even if most of it is just grade-A bullshit people believe to get them through the shit of whatever bullshit something puts them through."

You ended the distance between the both of you, your arms wrapping against Bojack's stomach as he took another swing while his arm found its way by your shoulders. He pulled you inward, your cheek finding that instant warmth radiating from his skin as he pulled you in, his intimacy more smoothly executed if only for that natural capacity he had to have some resistance broken due to the interruption of the booze.

"You don't believe what I tell you?"

He winced, letting out a grunt of disgust as his unfocused eyes turned to the bottle while he shook it in his hand, one eye closed as he gazed at the remaining liquor.

"It's not that I don't want to. I get the sentiment." His eyes turned to the light pollution of the window, voice lowering as he spoke. "Just don't see it reflect reality, that's all, so I put that usual label on it that does the trick." He turned back to you, eyes glimmering into an extent of boyish light as his lips raised into that line of a boyish smile to meet the same energy. "Every time."

You were taken in, as you always were, by the natural preciousness his movement and air possessed. You leaned further into the plush of his stomach, grazing your cheek further on his torso as you took in the human smell of booze and the tang that came from natural human existence of the layer of sweat, the small hint of cologne following it; but Bojack was more of the timid and lost soul that took things as they were, even to his own detriment, often lost too much in his own turmoil to consider how to ever really clean up. That was all the more guidance, even addiction, for you to love him, but unlike the emptiness in most physical addictions this one was real and raw and transcended beyond physicality; and better than that, it was something you would always be learning and trying to understand, an you never really woul, not every complicated that made up the precious and simple nature of Bojack, but from that simplicity was the desire to survive the complexity that came along with pain that exhausted and repulsed everyone who encountered it, especially the one who bore it.

"You're drunk."

"Duh. But not enough. I want us both to be sitting on our own mental castle tonight, and I can't do that without making sure I have enough that I can abrely perceive what's around me. It's worked for every possibly and always eventually shit party before, I don't know why it wouldn't now."

You leaned forward and felt the bloat of his cheek meet your lips. He leaned in just enough for it to be the intimacy that drew the both of you inward so deeply neither of you could or want to find the habit of guidance of resistance. Your lip curved up as the gentle fodder of humor met your intimacy and the astounding coziness that came along wth it; you were so wamr with one another, not unlike the spititiual feling of being in the perfection combination of a bed with no desire to get out, the rest of the noise of the world and exsitence seeming uncessarny. It wasn't as if it wasn't as easy as breathing for you to get lost in every detail of it, especially now, when his fingers betrayed nervousnes and his eyes and his timid beautiful grin betrayed a certain torment that put your already unbridlieled uncotionlal love further to where it was already permanently sotted before you had even known it yourself. You could have spent a lifetime loving and observing him, coming out from you in such a anturla way that it felt easier than to not, to not let the aimlessness of emptiness and lack of purpose or a genuine beleief to throw you into despair like some many did.

Bojack chuckled as he leaned inward further as another whisper of words left your lips while pressed on his cheek, his troubled and wrinkled eye bags and tender ers lowered back as he was pulled into your intimacy that was so profound ans safe that he fell into it further and gave the samein return without even meaning to. You were the person he was waiting, the same way you had been your own version of a wait for him-not in the sense that you were waiitng for the other to tell you how to live life, but in the sense that you both had found what made that uncondtinal richness alleviate you above a lifethat would have been a much more suffcoaing challenege, so much to the point that deth would have been rpefrbale the majority of the time. Both you ahd Bojakc and shown that you knew that in yur own ways.

But the warmth tha carried the both of you through your bind made you both feel an odd safety that you were in the world, but not apart of it. The disdain and hatred that wa spolluted in every person and even almost every given interaction or creation was only something you both experienced now, but the wrm carried intimacy you were both sharing was your true essence of existence, and separate from whatevr would have changed either yourselves as indidvausl or that bond that was shared.

At least, Bojack celery hoped, and that cetrainity was being slightly wavered at the doubt that took him at what had been insusited by the other person to start this. Bojack wouldn't have done something so public and anti-interpersonal as this; he was too private of a man, especially when it came to his body and whatever else had been used for disdain that cased your protection and love to deepen because of it. He was a contradiction in that way, and ednessly fasnciating to you because of those that mad ehim up in his simplsitci superficial but natural and true nature that showd off the alluring and humble truth of the complexity of his all the times he has revealed himself to woman and had stumbled into celebrities' cars drunk, it had increased his shyness over the years, rather than discouraged it, as he became more familiar with the disdain or mcokery that people met him with. You wanted to take that damaged curtain of shyness and wrap it up around him wmrly untilt here was that profound carrying even in the pain.

But for now you only had alcohol and anticipation.

He had been waiting for tto meet him with where he was at wit the same wounds and patterns of what he needed that a lesser connection would have only convinced him he couldn't do it; and both parities had bleieved it every time, and it showed on the scs rof his worn torubeld face and his inside struggle tat intermedled and intertwined against one another until there was the ball of trouebeld bleak lostness, such as they way he was meeting you now as a tender amusement left his lips, a gentle whine following his curve of his smile that betrayed the beauty of the tender love and partner he could be, and you felt the cracks of just how true, just how good it felt, every day in the obscur and small helplessness but ultimately true concept of what you shared; and as it ruined out hat cae above most other things. . "And I love you."

He chuckled again as his cheek leaned against your kiss. "Maybe save it for the parade that's coming up. They're coming out to see a show." His chubby hand squeezed your wrist as he leaned in to your intimacy. "I love you too."

His voice was low and rasped, coming with the extension of the intimate invitation, trembling and uncertain under the slight hint of the shyness, but ultimately with that natural grace of his tone and the precious human vulnerability that was in it. You allowed the words to sink in, not because they had become rare, but they felt just as much of a welcome to a sinking of warmth despite all of whatever would have occurred otherwise, frustration, pain, loss and all the other combinations that made up the inevitable grief of life. It didn't always come easy, and there was even now a pit of resistance from the frustration you felt towards his complicated intention. Not for the complication in and of itself-that was always met with a tender following with everything he was, and even the bad was followed by the profound meaning that followed the path of coming to him and having the the inherent human purpose that made you lucky and alive.

But there was also the cause that he would hurt himself, and that was the part where the wall ended.

Your hands caressed on the side of his chubby wrists. "I won't burn out if you don't."

"Oh."

Mischievousness entered his ex[ression, his expression transferred to a cocky wiggle of his brows, though still tired and worn no matter how confident and supericical he tried to pain himself as, the same way he always was, and the same way your affection followed him because of those qualities that made him who he was. His wrists and fingers squeezed and ghsoted on your hands as shis pupils searched yours. "Look at you."

You turned down as you tried to place the scattering of the words in your mind to come together and follow him with where he was. The words always came as natural as anything with him, but this time there was the guidance of you wanting to get it right.

"I want to do this with you tonight. It sounds like fun. Or it could be."

"Yes, the constant finger digging does the trick of executing that." His hand finished placing the bottle against the counter as his fingertips found your palm. His head titled downward as he gave you that knowing expression of guidance in his eyes, charismatic and thoughtful, and that gentle nostalgila that he always carried with him that was the promise that he was the capsulment of what made a life of beauty and meaning that would have destroyed you had you nt found and tasted his specific purpose that you were made for. "You sure you want to? Because I don't need anything feeling too bad in here if that's what you think it's going to be. I don't want that. God knows there will be enough problem just from these people gawking at my house." His eyes rolled up as he shrugged. "And then, obviously, the sex part. Assuming that people put on a show enough that it's worth watching, which is less than likely."

"I'm not worried about how gross it could be, or strange."

His eyes lowered into his version of teasing exasperation. "That's literally the part you should be the most worried about."

"I just know how people in this industry are. How-we are." Your hand finished its job of caressing his palms as they instead guided him to his arms, feeling the fleshy grip under them from the whole feeling of the round nature of his wide arms, adorable to the touch, irreplaceable precious.

"So how I am, then. Is that what you're saying?"

"If that's what you read into it, I'm not going to deny it."

His head shook less than an inch, ears twitching as he spoke. Your hand squeezed on his arm as his enriching conflicted eyes turned back to your searching one.

"If I knew this woul cause trouble, I would stop it. As it is, I'm very prepared for whatever bullshit is thrown our way tonight, and I think, as my partner, you should be able to believe in that." His eyes turned away from you in clear want of distraction as his expression turned to the cabinet. His hand ghosted out of yours as he brushed his way past you. "I hope we have enough of those raspberry ones. I know how much these women love their sweet taste."

You turned as you watched him open the cabinet. Several pink bottles met his gae, and his ears perked up as he made a celebratory sound. "Ah-ha!"

"You're not worried? At all?"

"About what? Woman and men alike seeing sex done by a celerbity and getting too caught up in their excitment and having to go back to their boring lives afterward? Not especially."

"About the possible long term effects."

"Of people being annoying? That's guaranteed."

"Anyone could show up." Your hand ghosted against his arm, and you felt the shiver of his goosebumps against your touch, the slight flicker of admitted vulnerable interruption in his eyes as he met yours. "You know what it's like. What it can be like when people get information on things that they think can give them power. Even when they don't care."

He looked over his shoulder as his eyes met yours while he started to place the bottles on the counter. "With you talking like this, I'm getting there."

Your hip leaned on the counter as you watched him. He continued with the mundane task, and you could tell he was enjoying the distraction away from your inquiry.

"You have to see where I'm coming from. Before it gets out of hand again."

Bojack breathed deep, though not before placing the last bottle on the counter. He turned in that sharp and sudden movement that he had a way of doing whenever something was truly aggravating him, that sharp movement overcoming him as he turned and leaned his hip against the counter with his finger snapped at you. "Hey-I am seeing where you're coming from. And the worst part is you're right. But that's why it's so important for me to try and do this. We should both trust that nothing is going to happen."

He turned back to the bottles, a slight mumble under hus breath as he began to rearrange them, the muttered rasp under his breath as occupied himself with the task of arranging the bottles a few inches each end-a task that clearly didn't need to be done, but he treated it was all the timind determined shyness as if it did. It such a boyish, timid and typical distraction of his immaturity that you felt that warmth of both natural adoration and protection overcome you again as you heard his distinct intentional mumbled distraction.

"White red bottle with the slight different white coloring should be drunk first, that's a good sign that it looks more expensive than it actually is…Older bottles should be left behind to ensure that it feels fancy and antique after drinking the newer looking ones to make it look intentional and fancy…Save the middle for the part where people are too cluncked out to know what is going on anyway."

He passed them in a distracted distinct arrangement until they sat in an even line. A satisfied grunt left his lips as a serene smile traced the edge of his snout, hand suppressed on hips as he looked at them with satisfaction. "Not bad."

You eased yourself off of where your back was pressed on the counter as you walked your way to him. Your arms found their way by his large and plush him. He let out a timid breath of surprise as he felt himself being pulled inward chubby hand raised awkwardly and clumsy as he was brought into your embrace, still having the tendency to have his tense and uncertain response to it, despite the way that you knew how he beautifully melted into your embrace after a period of time.

"Oh."

His voice was that irreparable soft version, giving away that tender preciousness of him that you knew was dug to have the forefront of everything you had already always saw anyway that had always been there, but had never been seen by anyone, if anything deeper invalidated. It only made you that much more desperate to love those parts and love him forever; he was one of those rare souls where that tenderness that was so deeply beaten out of others through abuse had endured with him thoroughly.

His hand found its way by your wrist. "Hello."

Desiring lips kissed his shoulder. He leaned into the touch further, his weight pressing against your arms, the same place of where you had been meant to carry the very thing he despised with the most worthwhile purpose you had been meant to execute, a sweetness coming into your body that met you mind at the very feeling, so certain that it was impossible for you not to believe that loving this man hadn't been for the reason you had been born, no matter what challenges happened or whatever strain occurred over the stretched of time, the sweetness and inherent value was always there every time you reached for one another.

"I can see so many people, but it feels like a chore. It drains me seeing their endless flaws and heaviness of themselves and their lives. There's no real reward to it."

Another kiss against his fleshy shoulder, and you could hear him let out that shaky timid breath in response, graceful and sweet and irreparably soft, especially compared to the sharp wear of his worn but handsome face. There could have been nothing more fascinating or anything more worthy of your nature allure of the most precious part of you being drawn to the combination of that grace that was modeled by pain and complemented by the boyish desperation to be cared of more than most partners ever wanted to-for you, it was the most human and worthwhile gift.

"But seeing you is an endless reward, one that feels like it gives more than it takes just by virtue of you being alive." Your hand found their natural train of guiding up and down his shoulders in a gentle caress.

He shivered as another vulnerable soft breath left the touch of his lips, ears flickering back in that tender uncertain way. "I want to protect everything about you. I already know how much you've been through, and the fact that there's so much good and worry about being good in you. You're so rare." A kiss against his palm. "Soft. Wonderful. And I feel mad with how much I want to help you and protect you from any more trouble." Your fingers squeezed his chubby wrists. The light dimmed in his eyes in that soberibity that came with understanding at your suggestion. "You understand?"

He took a breath through his nostrils, the sound heavy and talking of several layers just from the virtue of breathing. The third exede under his puffy eyes and that strange dry grace that occupied his eyes that had never been seen by any half bothering person was all you could see, and it astounded you how much beauty there was to him that so many seemed determined to never know, or incapable of knowing. His chubby fingers guided against your hand until another breath of exhaust left his lips.

"Yeah." It was more of a breath. "I get that."

The tip of his ears flicked, the span of them swayd slightly whenever he was lost in intensive thought. "Maybe part of the reason why I started this project was so we could try to carry that in a way that was less heavy. For the both of us."

His chubby hands fell way from the natural warmth of your natural embrace. He began to pick up several of the bottles, two in one hand, grunting as he clumsy barely managed to stay balanced on his feet as he shoved the other one into the curve of his arm that rstd on his chest.

"Let's get these to the table. I want to make it very pointedly clear which one certain people can take and when. I don't need messy sex and messy drunks. That's too much stumbling wannabe cool drunks for one night." He grunted as he clumsily tripped over his feet while he settled for indicating his head to the rest of the cheaper bottles that sat in a much more settle mundanity compared to the rose colored red flags of the rich red that surrounded the wine bottles that rested in Bojack's arms.

"Grab the rest of those." He paused as he struggled to keep the bottles balanced in his arm while he continued to stumble to the low desk that hung by the couch. "Sorry. Please."

The bottle was in the grasp of your hand within seconds of the rasp of his clumsily asked request. The bottle felt cool to your touch while you heard the liquor swishing under the movement of the bottle as you took two. With the weight of how heavy all the bottles were, it was all you could manage. You breathed heavy against your closed lips as you walked your way across the floor as you rested them down on the low table.

Your hip sat on the edge of the wooden table as you watched the liquor reflect against the neon light of the pool that traced the inward of what would have otherwise been the indifferent gray walls of the interior of Boajck's house, though the emotional candor that dressed them left them with a narrative of emotional complexity that you knew was never meant to be truly understood by either of you, only felt on that level that was beyond worldly experienced or technicality of understanding, that feeling that gave life a large than any known concept of universal language of even spiritual understanding-a feeling that wasn't whimsical because of how solid and demeaning in proof it was, and reminded both of you every day, even Bojack for his determination of fear of the unknown, that there wa both a savior and a fear that both of your lives ultimately concerned something larger than life.

Bojack placed his hands on his hips as he stood upright. His white searching eyes gleamed quickly in that stout fashion of air that he carried with him with everything he did.

"That would be enough to keep at least three of the party guests stumbling on their feet." His brawny eyelids lowered in exasperation as his eyes turned to you before walking his way back to the kitchen. "I want that to be the case with all of them to make sure at least everything makes the equal amount of stupid decisisons tonight so that there's no unnecessary drama or growing of schemes tomorrow if someone was a little too clear headed with this stupid party tonight."

"Who was the one who wanted to start this whole thing into an actual event?"

He raised a brow quizzly, drylily. "You mean instead of it being some former so called friend crashing his peers into my place because he thinks it would be fun for a night without asking me? That kind of actual?"

Your head turned as you watched Bojack give the slightest shrug of his fleshy shoulders while walking into the kitchen, the square frame that complemented his form as he walked and squinted at the next green labeled bottle of liquor he placed his hands on, shaking it against the glass as he distrubed it. His exasperated eyes turned to you as he looked up from the task, each part of it met with his detached indifference that could just as well be a combination of emotional complication, the same thing as what everything made him was.

"Shit. I don't know. That weird gerbil man that I kept seeing stumbling around the marketplace every morning when I went to get the milk that I drank too much of whenever we ran out. Ok, I ran out. Due to the fact that I drink it all with the liquor we were supposed to save for the last week."

He picked up another bottle, seeming to slightly wince at the weight. A slight teasing glint entered his eyes as that mischievous smile graced his snout as he wandered back to the table.

"You should have seen the look on his face when I told him. You'd think the asshole had never made it into Hollywood in his life at all. It was like some nerd tripping on his spit or something because he got offered his frist drink of alcohol. It was amazing."

That sickly humor in Bojack's eyes gleamed while he stumbled through the kitchen and back to the living room. His eyes were becoming a particularly sort of drunken charming. Only Bojack made being a detached and clumsy drunk something that was not only alluring and even sexual, but also something thta spiked human curiosity-and above all, the general overall nature to be puled into his general capture. His smile raised into a contentment of a sloppy grin while he kneeled himself down in front of you, the drunken heaviness of his eyelids grazed on his content and detached expression. His two chubby palms messily placing the liquid behind you with a loud thud beside each side of your hip. Hdd he been more self reassured he would have placed his hands on your thighs, but at least a majority of the time was there the complicated melchocolny that made up the lack orf predictability of his nature, and a consistent them of that was insecurity. His hand found their way by the nerves of his fingers threading on his palm while his face melted into a slight apologetic smile, the contradiction of both cocky and apologetic at all hours not alien to his features.

"Anyway, I figured it would be good for the guy." His teeth poked as his ears flickered as his eyes darted in dry detached thought. "And his wife. He used to star in background features and I heard through secondary sources-" He placed his hand on the side of his mouth to emphasis- "that he was going through 'shit' lately, so I thought, well, may as well make it fun shit."

He placed the bottles down, eyes darting to you, his eyes darting in that innocent always searching question of what he was doing wrong. He always assumed he was. "And I know how much you've needed company lately." His fingers squeezed on his wrist, the most tight and aggravated they had been yet. "Outside of me, I mean."

"So you decided to give him fun shit for his own sake?"

Your hand reached out to his wrist, your fingertips tingling in them as you pulled them away from his chest slightly, though not enough to give him any uncomfortability with the nature of it. It was spoken with a gentle tease but it was met with the same way anything between the both of you was; moreso with the insight of pushing him in the most considerate and tender fashion towards introspection.

Bojack's teeth poked out under his lip as his ear twitched. There was a timid preciousness under the cocky drunk, and you knew he would be flashing throughout the night, each one just as much of a guidance towards either being made or destroyed if whichever one was caught at any moment was by anyone in general that his desperate heart that longed for any kind of approval-but most especially yours. You would see him flashes of the complexity of his emotional spectrum for the duration of the afternoon not unlike the speed of a winking sun peering out through the sun's leaves looking out a car door, and you knew it was a bittersweet profound truth of human existence and of how you loved him that you would never become so oversaturated familiar at taking care of him or of knowing him that the love wouldn't go deeper every time, the freshness complimenting along with it increasing both the depth and the chase, one of countless but richest signs that human connection and the specific irreplaceable dynamic of what you both found being the center of a worthwhile and meaningful perception of life, and an impossibly rich one at that.

There was where your anxiety lied, then, about how much you worried for the fragile plump man in front of you, a contradiction down to the weariness of his eyes to the stout form of his stocky body.

"Please don't keep pushing it." It was a sigh more than a response as he shoved one of the glasses nonchalantly against the table. "He looked like one of those guys who was about to implode from whatever he's been going through. Christ knows the last thing I need, that anyone in Hollywood needs, is another crybaby on screen." His eyes turned downward in an attempt of lack of vulnerability while he gave a small shrug. "So, you know. For that reason." His hand turned up as his eyes turned dryly to the pool. "Mainly."

You eased yourself off the table. Your hand caressed Bojack's shoulder as you sat by him. He breathed deep, but he eased int your touch, love handles finding the side of your hip under the soft fabric that dressed his body.

"What was his name again?" Your lips grazed on Bojack's shoulder, the words as much as intimacy if only for the softness of how they were spoken as much as the tender touch of your lips against Bojack's shoulder.

"Jesus, I don't know. I think it was something that flashes every now and then in those tiny tiny small letters that you can sometimes catch in the corner of your eye in those especially long grocery aisles if there's genuinely nothing better to do."

His eyes squinted, emphasizing how much concentration it would take in his own teasing, almost dorky, way. Your hand replaced where your lip was as you reached for Bojack's red phone he had placed on the table. His dry eyes turned as he watched the screen, ears perked up and eyes enlightened with a cocky smirk on his face.

"Good idea. Put that guy's name in and send it flying out into the sea of cheap articles written by desperate new women in Los Angeles. I'm sure he's well known enough that some newly hired article woman would take him as a client for a subject about his latest dick piercing or whatever gets clicks right now."

Your lip raised into a ghost of a smile as you scrolled through Bojack's contacts, eyes darting every now and then to the photos that he had bothered to place beside the names.

"Let;s hope he's a bigger statuts to be of better company than that." You leaned forward and you kissed the bloated side of Bojack's more worn and aged face. His arm rested on his knee while he let out the same layered breath of exasperation.

"It's not about the status. It's about the context. As in, how much bullshit can a person put into work before they burn out from how useless and undigifnied and stupid it is."

Your fingertip paused on a contact in bright white letters, a distinct lemur's face beside it that was blurry enough with the suggestion of a slight blur of brown in the corner to suggest that Bojack had taken it drunkenly and messily.

"Waylen."

Bojack's brightened further as he eaned his head over to the phone in admitted curiosity, at least to the extent he could in the midst of his dry pride.

"Mateo? Couldn't be."

Your eyes flicked up "He looks exactly like who you've been describing."

Bojack lifted a finger as he shook his head, closing his eyes for emphasis in that naturally playful dorky way he carried naturally.

" specifically made it clear that every person invited tonight was at a distance from me-for the very reasons why we wanted to invite enough people and a certain status of people so we wouldn't wake up to a desperate mess tomorrow morning by people trying to glomp onto the best thing to fame they'll get."

His eyes were exasperated as they reopened. He turned to the rest of the bottles, taking one by the neck and shaking it as his dull eyes watched the shaking of the liquid under his expression.

"No matter who shows up, at this point I'll end up drinking the entire thing waiting for them to show up. And then we'll have a real problem on our hands known as a fake party."

Bojack rasped something under his breath that sounded not unlike the familiar swears of the words his frustration was hardly unaccomousted to; the most familiar one of"bullshit, waiting around" was the one that hit your ears with the most immediate understanding as he eased himself up with a hand on his shoulder, grunting as he got himself up and started walking to the kitchen. You heard the cabinets begin to be opened as it met his jaded movements while his incoherent language left his lips. You got yourself up, pressing your arms onto your chest as you made your way to the end wall that was the only separation between the bedroom and the kitchen.

"Looks like he's a dancer." You continued to scroll through the articles that were made of him. Though his species was small and skinny by nature, he was a particularly robust and round looking man of business now. In the past few photos of the articles that dated a few years ag he had been of the skinner and more typical body type of his natural form. As your hand swiped through the articles and led to the more recent ones, he looked more like a tired large man who spent the majority of his days sitting on couches and crutching himself into suits.

Bojack's dry eyes turned to you as he finished wrestling with the metal tools in the cabinet. "I'm sure he was. Same way a lot of people in this industry used to be a lot of things." His head twisted in question as his eyes searched over the article while you stepped closer to him, eyes briefly scanning over the articles as the screen was in his viewpoint. His curiosity dimmed as quickly as it lit in his eyes as he turned back to the bottle and the metal opener he placed on the counter. "Looks like he also read the classic cliche rubric of letting loose after a few years of success that reassured him he belongs here without too much scorn from other people of getting out because of being told he dosen't by measurement of success and then stopped letting the tension telling him how to present himself." A sigh left his lips as he twisted the bottle opener on the bottle, twisting his arm unsuccessfully. He stepped back as his ears flew back while he let out a timid breath as he dropped the bottle opener. His fingertip lifted up as it met his disturbed fragile expressions nd teeth that poked from his snout.

"Goddammit." His fingertip rung onto his hand as he squinted at the flowing blood. "Why do the people who make these things have to make it as complicated as possible?"

You rushed your way to him as you placed the phone on the counter. Bojack was breathing heavy as the fear on his easy swayed timid nature showed entirely. He had the contradiction and the gift of being someone that seemed so charamstsic and intelligent as a default, but that easily swayed heard came about so easily.

"Let's place it under the water, baby."

Bojack's short broken breath continued in his panicked labor, then winced as your hand flew to the faucet and started the hot water and place the stream of it over his fingertip. He let out a timid sharp breath for a brief moment at the initial reaction of it, then the panic rhythm of his breaths began to lessen slightly as his focus was on the gradual relief of the hot water as it flowed against his fingertip.

You waited for a few moments for Bojack's breathing to lessen into a quiet and somewhat calmer and softer rhythm and until the blood stopped flowing to the point where it polluted the water and ran clear. You kept your fingertips rested on his brawny wrist, caressing the wide plush shape of it as you kept his fingertip firmly under the running flow of the water. You heard his fragile nervous rhythm of sighs both increasing the impossible endearment of your gentleness to him by default both fueling it and increasing your worry for what he was getting himself into at the same time.

"Where did you meet him?"

Bojack's eyes squinted in bewilderment, ears still lowered all the way and his physically showing him off as easily spooked as much as you knew the way his weathered and damaged state was.

"Who?"

"Waylen Mateo."

"Oh." Bojack seemed to become more grounded at the mention of it, his exhausted wide eyes having a level detachment in them from the panic, but he seemed to be coming back to himself at the mundanity of the question. He gave a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"I don't know. I just had him in my contacts. Only looked up the cool people who had at least two hundred results when I looked him up and he was one of them, so-he made the cut." His expression became slightly more somber into his default neutral expression as he watched the water flow around his fingertip. "Not that remarkable, really. The guy's career, I mean. But he's a warm body and he knows a lot of women, so that'll keep everyone busy." His tone was dry in that unimpressed blunt way of the superficiality of the people who surrounded him

Your fingertip graviated from his wrist and instead settled for gently guiding onto the water flowing from the cut on his fingertip. You could hear Bojack's labored breathing coming from the quick way he had hurt himself, though there was just as well an extensive amount of other layered emotional reasons that you were sure were gravitating and pulling at his always vaguely tormented state from the content of the conservation.

"You've had a lot of experience in what keeps people happy at stuff like this." Your tone wasn't light; the both of you became easily annoyed at people's constant desire to street from the wound of a conversation Authenticity and facing the inctiebely deeply ingrained pain or insecurity of whatever was tossing in between context of word and conversation was what helped you both breath from other people's scrambled desperation to hide from the hurt of the conversation.

But as it was-as Bojack was in the combination of his contrading erratic era, Bojack was both a disgust of the distraction while also the main victim of it. His eyes snapped up as his ears perked slightly at your suggestion, both intrigued and seeming distant from your suggestion of opening up the door to more. "I've grown up in this superficial culture my entire life, yes. That is very clear. The hard part is making sure I use all the experience to make experiences less annoying or detrimental than they would be otherwise. Sounds more impossible than people might think, and they're right."

His eyes were focused on the gesture of your fingertip threading on his palm. They were distant and cloudy, his eyebrows furrowed into an expression that was both strained and melchoolic at the same time.

"No one will ever believe me, but I've hated all of it. I'm sick of pretending I like being a part of it. I don't. I never have."

"You were forced into it."

Bojack breathed deep, nostrils flaring and being at odds with the indifference of his eyes. Your fingers continued to thread onto the chubbiness of his fingertips, squeezing with the flow of the water against his skin in a soft and intimate fashion, the squeeze akin to the way your hands pressed against the soft hill of his hips before and after you went to sleep, along with any minute way it ever seemed appropriate to simply guide the wordless message of love.

"I don't know if forced is the word. More like-" He mumbled a tumblring of words under his lip before speaking clearly. "Coherenced. Willingly coherenced." His sarcastic eyes turned back up to you. "Trust me, getting away from my parents was just as much as something I wanted as much as anything they could have ever forced me into."

You turned up as you gave him a slight knowing look with your eyes. Bojack shrugged as he watched you with that always impossibly lost expression, precious and stoic.

"You know it's true."

"I do know." You turned off the facurt, your fingertips threading against the place where the bleeding wound had been the last time before pressing your hand against his palm, pulling him away from the faucet. Bojack breathed out a swear as he snapped his other wrist over your hand to help dry off some of the water before you took the cloth behind the sink and wrapped it around his hand. "That's part of the problem."

Boajck's eyes turned downward, though you could feel him relaxing into the motherly guidance of the feeling of your hands caressing on his palm through the massage of the towel. He always had a natural response to any caressing that was intimate and reminiscent of a lover, and the response was always differentiating depending on whatever dial that his always complex and changing moods consisted of. But the more motherly touches; those always involved him leaning in further, more intimately than any other form of touch, and as it always had you felt him relax into the touch further, though the slight distant uncertainty didn't leave his eyes.

He tried to pull himself together before responding, both in regard to the feeling of the intimacy as well as the open door to the conversation where there was an extensive amount of pain, overcoming the sting that made up his fingertip. But Bojack was ultimately someone who was tempted by being deterred by whatever caused him too much strain, and he collected himself into that talented natural grace of a way as he adjusted enough that he fooled even you with his control by the time his low and comber words spoke.

"Well, no point in analyzing it now, right? What's done is done."

"Only if you want it to be."

Bojack grunted, his distant eyes turning to the window in a distant chasm of thought. You brought his hand up to your lips as you kissed his knuckles.

"It's alright." Your fingertips caressed his knuckles before allowing his palm to fall away naturally from your embrace. "It was just a suggestion."

"Well-" His dry eyes turned to his released hand as he shook it, muscles on his face furrowed into both troublement and inner concern, then gave a shrug. "Don't need any more of those until the people show up anyway, right? I'm sure there will be plenty of suggestions with whoever comes stumbling in through that door." His smile raised into a grin. "Especially if it involves that sold out lemur guy. God, imagine what that guy would do for a second break!"

His voice cracked in a lusty amused cracked fashion by the end of the statement. He turned and reached for the nearest bottle, leaning his head backward as he took another swing of it. A content drunken grin overcome his snout as he turned to you, leaning out the bottle and swaying as he did so while his arm shot out ot you in a gesture of pulling you into his desire for letting go of anything heavy,

"Wine and beer called, I think it's for you. They say you should loosen up before the crowd of clingy desperate gross people that are the embodiment of those moods in Hollywood comes stumbling in through that door."

Your eyes turned down to the bottle. Bojack quirked his eyebrows at you in a both teasing and challenging fashion.

"Come on."

His raspy voice slurred, sounding more manchild with every swing than that somber natural gravel of grace when sober he carried so naturally.

"One swallow. Will help you with all that worrying you're doing with people that think less than half as much. Believe me."

Your eye grazed on the clumsy held bottle, until finally, more for the stumbling stout man with the teasing and drunken expression that had a tint of natural grace to it only he could manage, you walks forward, your hand grazed on his brawny stout fingers as you guided itt o your lips. His eyes lowered in what was both endearment and pride-but also a detached relief of the both of you falling to the prey of letting go.

"Good girl."

"I'm doing it for your insistence and knowing how you'll respond if I don't." Your hand pressed into the spaces of his fingertips as he let the neck go and allowed it to belong to your own grasp. "I'm doing it for that more than the desire to get drunk."

"Sure."

"Trust me, if I wanted to be the one that was drunk, I would have been the first one hours ago. I don't trip over my own feet trying to figure out what I want. I usually know it before I even start whatever process or event I come up with before putting it into action.

"Excuse me? Is that right?"

Bojack's voice perked into a playful boyishness right along with the gleam in his eyes as he grinned at you in his mischievous way. You quirked up your eyebrows to him in a teasing fashion to bring gentleness to the interaction before his own brand of teasing caught on. A small shrug garced his shoulders as his eyes indicated to the beer bottle. "Well, as long as it works, that's good enough for me."

You took a swing of the bottle, feeling the burning of the liquor surrendering down to your lungs as you felt that detached and admittedly relieved comfort flow through you. Bojack's own eye winced as he took a swing himself from the bottle as he gently encased his fingertips against yours again as he pulled the neck forward until it met to his own lips again while he swung it back.

His teeth poked out in that grotesque but ultimately relieved fashion the way that it was with his relationship with alcohol as he swung his head back forward, swiping the messy leftover dribbles of the remaining alcohol from his lip with his sleeve. Your eye turned down as Bojack let out his usual drunken satisfied chuckle that met in the newfound detache laziness in his eyes as he swayed slightly.

"That's the reason why it's been so easy for me to stay here. Without questioning it." Your eyebrows flicked up before you spoke your next words. "Despite whatever you may have said or tried to do to make them think otherwise."

Bojack's ears perked up as he gazed up at you. The tip of his ears flinched at the tip as he swayed to the side at your words and as the fire of the liquor took the majority of of his senses.. His teeth poked out, questioning as with that sudden gentle grace of question and that almost impossible look of innocence that overcame his expression that was so pure in that way it overcame his uncertainty that you found it a miracle that such a precious part of a man had survived the life and culture he had been thrust into. More than that, you wondered how the intensity of your adoration survived it.

His eyes turned down to the alcohol. For a moment did he simply consider the liquid, and you almost would have preferred that pondered look in his eyes that was just revealing enough to enrapture your adoration that was rich to the painful point, but with him it felt so comfortable, settled, easy. When his eyes flicked up back to you, with his teeth twisted and shown slightly under his lip in his uncertain grace, you felt that wash of emotion that for a moment rendered you paralzed. In that moment you realized that Bojakc brought out of you what true emotion of, rather than just the embodiment of the imagining of it, and it was paralzying with how overwhelming it was. Not necessarily fit into the definition of god, just resoundly, overwhelmingly forcefully stoppingly human.

"I wasn't aware I was doing that."

His voice was softer, and spoken in a genuine sense of being taken aback. For as superficial and callous as he could be, he just as well become the most tender and heart on his sleeve person that you had ever come into contact with, the messy and rich contradiction being why he was one of the few memorable people that had left a mark on your dedication-a rare but compelling thing when it did happen, but with him had it discovered a new level that belonged only to him, and you find in kind how you yourself had found yourself embolden into a richness that only belong to you in connection to it.

Your eyes lowered into a gentle guise as your expression rested where his fingers sat on the bottle's neck, resting with a slight graze against the curve of his stomach.

"It's alright. I don't think either of us meant to do the majority of what helped us to find one another. What keeps helping us to find one another despite whatever unintentional games we might play."

Boajck's eyes turned to the side, detached and distant at your statement.

"The worst part is when you get to the point where you're throwing out challenges without even knowing that you are. Or meaning to." His dry gaze found its way back to the bottle. That choked emotion was still fully in your body, though it was already beginning to leave, though the whispered tangling tints of it kept by your disposition. Bojack, to you, in a strange twisted mecolcohic tragic way of isolation one could only understand by virtue of experiencing it, was oth adolescence and the tragedy of the chipping away of what should have made up a healthy person within the desire to be apart of flawed humanity, and there was something about his twisted wretchedness that made you feel painfully, bittersweetly alive.

"You know what's so wonderful about you?"

His eyes flicked downward in detached emotion. "That I can have this conversation before I get too drunk to see in front of me for the night. Yes, we're both welcome."

He took another swing of the bottle, one eye closed as his ears splayed back. The one eye he kept open kept focused on you, however, and that was all the invitation you needed to continue on, even as he let out a rasped exasperated breath as the bottle found its location by his stomach again that suggested his want to be an ass because that was what he knew, rather than the profound sense of wanted and shaken grace you wanted to give to him. His teeth poked out as a frown encased his features while his squinted eyes watched you.

"I don't feel like I have to rush with you. Everything with you is so rich and natural, but if I'm not ok and can't reach you I know you'll be there when I'm done with whatever it is that life is punishing me by being alive, human, the way it does with everyone, but we speak the specific way that helps us to reconnect."

Bojack's eyes snapped away uncertainty, a hint of shyness in them, a preciousness of fragility.

"Yeah." He shook the bottle subconsciously. "I wouldn't be the first one anyone would think of with the word connect." His dry eyes turned to you as he lifted the bottle to you in a messy indication. "Better term might be that yes, we both feel this, and yes, let's enjoy it. Even if it-"

He cut off as his eyes turned down, vulnerability guiding in them as they always did eleven when he wanted anything but that. "Play these 'games' that evidently come so naturally to me that I didn't even know I put the goddamn board out on the table to begin with."

Your lips raised into an exhausted smile. Though you knew you were both sick with exhaustion from the world and what made the loud apathy of lack of care of human nature and the way it ad tormented and affected your own minds to a terrifying and decarying degree, there was a human and deep profound nature of grief that transcended through the both of you that deepened the love that you both felt would have already been there anyway. The grief of where you had both ended up in your blackened disappointment didn't cheapen the love but rather transformed it into something that was an even deeper integration of connection that made it not only rich with the love that would have been there anyway, but gave it a profound and long purity of a profound endurance and richness that deepened the connection to not necessarily healing, but certainty of grieving together with the surrounding adoration of one another encasing it, and as it turned out nothing felt better than that.

"I feel like we connect through that heavy pain that has carried you both through life."

"Or didn't carry it." Bojack's eyebrows raised in a pointed and sarcastic fashion, but there was an empathy of agreement behind every action, including the raise of his bottle to accompany his words. "That's the word I would use."

Your eyes turned down to your fingertips. They met against the slightly sticky laden form of his own as your hands guided and threaded on his, caressing against it with the one hand that lied docile by his side. He allowed it to happen, though his hand was limp, and his eye squinted as he lifted the bottle to his raised head again as he lifted it up to take another sip. When he rested it away from himself again there was an accompaniment to the depth of your words that was agreed to in his own, though it was communicated through the dry exhaust of his eyes as he met yours through the wear of his face and the puffy bags of his eyes, so easily labeled as unremarkable to most, and to you the very embodiment of surviving and of consistent human relief and profound endurance.

"Everything with you is so rich, natural, and we both know what it feels like to be too broken and to reach each other through it eventually without any cheapening of it because of however the world challenges or throws us, which means when we're done with that we eventually find one another again just as patient and understanding as before. There's no force with us, no worry about abonnement or about being able to find one another again."

You lifted his knuckles up to your lips as your pressed a kiss against them. You could feel Bojack's eyes watching you, unremarkable by most definitions of what they would assume and label as remarkable or of worthy of those kind of words, through the eyes you had been granted and the way you had been modeled to have through life in your own components and elements that had gone through you and then left and had been taken by new combination of ones had made you the version you were today; trashiness, spiritually, loss and gain had all made you into the perfect extent to love and to be his accompaniment. He knew it, he felt it, and he had even expressed it. The opposite melancholic love language of which you spoke was finding its rhythm, though you knew there wouldn't ever be a day when you weren't discovering and then rediscovering yourselves with and for one another. "There's just rest, security, understanding, there's no force or anxiety."

Bojack's head tilted as his eyes squinted at you with a slight gleam of a question in his eyes. It was adorable, enough to take off the edge of your own anxiety and heaviness you were feeling in your own embodiment of anticipation the more the afternoon went on, and that caused you to laugh as your breath caressed against his knuckles.

Bojacck's head tilted as his eyes searched your own expression, though you knew within the depth of his mind that drew out the words you were speaking to begin with that he was untangling your words to meet his own understanding of them. Bojack had an emotional curiosity and natural intelligence and insight that caused you to speak even the most casual of observances that felt fitting whenever they did speak and land between the both of you. It was lazy and dampened, due to his lack of being able to see or believe in it himself, but most especially because no one else did or had never bothered to. It was present just as much as the contradiction of his superficiality was-the difference in those defining characteristics was that most didn't bother or have the capacity to see through-or rather with-his casually portrayed disposition that he too on simply because that was what people accepted easiest, and above all, Bojack longed for, possibly even required, acceptance.

"Go on." His voice was cracked with a genuine guide of emotion, though it was guarded by the wall of the self he felt he needed for the event ahead. His head turned up as his eyes snapped over to the door. "While you can. The second someone comes in those doors the entire room is going to change, and the context of this conversation-" His eyes lowered in exasperation as he turned his gaze back to you. "No chance."

Your mouth lifted upward slightly from where it rested on his knuckles as you looked up at him in question, teasingly, but also with guided soft insight. "Do I need to say it out loud?"

"Why not?" His eyes squinted uncertainty, and his expression flicked down right along with the twitch of his ears as he gave a shrug. "I mean, you started it."

Your smiled in that soft teasing way as your lips found their rest by his chubby knuckles again. Your fingertips threaded downward as they caressed his hand, and his eyes lifted up as he watched your every movement, clinging onto every word and action, whether he wanted or meant to or not.

"That's the thing about you. You feel eternal, not because you are any more or less than anything I've ever believe in, but-something about you makes me want to fight for eternal. There's few a far things in this life that ends up being worth a lifetime, if anything at all. When I found you, I knew you were one of those extremely rare lifetimes of a thread of consistency that would be a part of me forever, an experienced bond that would never lose its connection. Dim every now and then in the inevitability of change of us and life, but never leave entirely at all, and always behind me in everything I did."

Bojack breathed in deeply. You could sense the heaviness of his uncertainty through it.

"There's also this thing called not knowing where something is going or whether or not it's going to be what you think it is." His eyes turned down, and it seemed through the distant exhaust in his eyes he was memorizing your fingertips caressing the sides of his palm. "Something better to keep in mind." His eyes turned up to you, timidly, as if looking for either your approval or disapproval, and just as quickly found their dry and detached focus on your touch again.

"Well." You leaned forward as your lips found their way by his hand again. It had never gotten old, the feeling of the chubby lovable flesh meeting against the intimacy of your touch. "I know what you mean."

His eyebrows wiggled at you. "Do you? Because the romantic poise right before a big party blow out would make me think otherwise."

He must have seen the slight distance in your expression at his pessimism. Though his cynical nature and the abrupt invalidation it held was part of you dynamic of being able to find and love him with where he was at, it didn't take long for his insecurity towards his insensitivity and fragile abrupt apology to follow just as quickly.

"Sorry." His ears splayed back as your eyes turned from there they had settled into the same detached lostness his gave often occupied. "Should I keep it shut until you finish, or should we both drink so neither of us has to think about how hard this for you to speak to someone who's more used to the language of getting their ass cracked and calling it a night?"

"You're fine." Your fingers squeezed his had. His eyes turned down as he felt the pressure. His fragile gae looked back up to you in question.

"You sure?"

"You're helping me even by this. Even with this"

"Even." He said the word as if he was tasting it, or truly rolling over its meaning as he spoke it with an abrupt tone. "That's usually an implication for…resistance."

Timid question overcame his expression as his eyes turned to you again still with the fragility of his ears splayed back. He was a multitude of contradictions, and all of them led back to the same extent of a preciousness and rarity that caused you to feel a richness you knew you had only been deprived from suffering without before because you hadn't felt it to its full extent, not in the way you had in those sunrise tinted balcony kissed mornings with his eyes sunken with an adorable squint and the bags under his expression, or the lazy wrap of his arm on your shoulder as he tripped over himself to follow you to the kitchen, hungover and stumbling against your body with plump curve of a brawny stomach poking out of a messily strewn over robe of his body-or of the soft tinted moonlight that pressed against the kitchen now.

"Right?"

You shook your head, in the way that implied emotional conflict on more than it did denial. Your eyes focused onto the rhythm on his hand in yours as your eyes threaded against his skin, both present with the richness and the smoothness of natural thought of what his disposition and presence did to you while lost in it at the same time.

"I was suffering before you. In the sheltered way-the worst kind of suffering where nothing is even being learned, only increasingly more stagnant."

The squint under Bojack's eyes increased while he gazed at you. "I'm sorry, elaboration please?"

"The thing about suffering versus being sheltered; at least with suffering there's this weird sense of seeing things as they truly are and feeling fully within the truth of being alive along with it. There's something about not being alive or seeing things as they truly are, whether terrible or otherwise,that makes us feel sluggish, less alive, less sparked or even aware and less human than when suffering. Through suffering do we start to understand the truest versions of ourselves and each other and what existence truly is, whereas in shelter we're more of a stumbling fog of stupid pig and luxury, and the slog of our souls can feel it."

"Soul?" He squinted at you teasingly as he chuckled. "You believe that shit?"

"I felt it, anyway, in whatever superficial label you want to place on what inevitably happens inside of us regardless of whatever we call it."

Bojack let out a soft murmur, eyes turned back down to your hand in thought. The neon pool traced his snout, and somehow being on the figgy extent of drunk had never felt more ethereal as much as it did being with the man who already made you feel untethered just by virtue of his existence even on the most challenging empty day.

"Anyway, I was stagnant. Suffering, and stagnant."

"And now you're…what." Edge of sarcasm laced his tone, though there was genuine curiosity and want to guide you through your message in his tone and face. "Suffering and learning?"

Your eyes met his, and your lips that were becoming numb from the drunkenness increased as your eyes flitted up to his own. "That's one way of putting it."

He allowed his vulnerability to met your gaze, and there was a new level that was broken in your drunken natures that added to the sense of surreality-as if the emotional vulnerability wouldn't have been enough to achieve that in ways that would have been beyond anyone's reckoning of understanding, whether good or bad, and especially in regards to the both of you.

He breathed deep again, as if to restart, and his dry eyes found your hand before he gave the slightest squeeze of his own hand, only the slightest hint, before threading his hand away from yours and separating from it. He leaned his hand back with a further grip onto the bottle as he indicated it towards you.

"You wanna finish this off before I ask this asshole to show up early so we don't have to be too sad and pathetic sounding before these guys show up?"

Your hand pressed on the neck of the bottle as you met him with an understanding light raise of a grin. You leaned your head back, this time deep enough that you could heard Bojack let out an encouraging chuckle as it followed the chugging of your movement.

"Whoa-ok! Here we go. Didn't know you had it in you tonight."

You enjoyed the feeling of the burning of the liquor pouring down your throat. As much as you wanted to be clear headed, mainly just for whatever need he would have that would be spoken through subconscious ways that he betrayed himself through the small details of his actions that made up his movements and the twitch of his features, from the awkward raise of his nervous smile or the slight dark of his eyes and the way his eyelids would raise up in the puffy flesh of them that gave him a particularly worse for wear and weather look, you also wanted to find minute relief for the heaviness that came from loving someone as deeply as you did him; and along with that, th anxiety of the storm that was being led into to affect one that was already too occupied with his own disturbance that was surreal and dismayed in his own unexpectancy enough as it was.

"Ok, superstar." Boajck's voice was thick with his amused humor that deepened into tone into that throat chuckle as you finished off the last of the drop of it. He pulled away the bottle, that nervous teeth revealing grin on his lip as his twitched eyes turned to you. "Let's make sure that you have enough to surpass the bullshit. Not so much to the point that you're falling over and stumbling drunk and they end up being the ones in control."

"Who says anything about tonight being about control?"

"Ok." You felt the back of his hand meeting the back of your body as you swayed forward, tripping over yourself as your hands met the fabric that met your palm. His hand threaded onto yours as you felt him grip onto you to keep you afloat. "You have one sip of alcohol and now suddenly you're a champion at wit. If it was that easy we wouldn't have wannabe standup comedian clubs to begin with."

"That so." Your hand squeezed against his palm that had come to wrap around your own hand as it was firmly placed into a stable nature from the feeling of the way your hand gripped on his shirt to the safely of the stable grip of his palm.

"Yeah. It is. And I'll remind you when you wake up in the morning. "

"I'll remember. I wouldn't have drunk that much right before something like this."

"Like what?"

"Protecting you."

Bojack breathed out a sarcastic grunt.

"You don't need to protect me from anything tonight. It's just a lot of bored washed up cods. It'll be fun." He breathed awkwardly as his feet tripped on yours while he gradually tried to guide you to what must have been the edge of the counter until his hip leaned against it, pulling you further in with his hand grasped on yours as he kept his others on the lower part of your back. "C'mon, honey. Saddle up and breathe if you want to prove to me, much less these douchebags, that you mean it if you can stay upright. One slip up and I guarantee some guy with a paparazzi DNA strand or a woman with a camera is going to have a field day with it. I can't do that tonight. Not with my reputation."

"Your worried about that?"

"Course. Too much is at steak with that. For example, being one of the few guys who is able to keep losers from having some trashy unimportant thing to talk about. Been months since I've been the unwanted victim of that or have been an unwilling participant in it. I'd like to keep it that way."

He pulled you in, and your head pressed further on the curve of his neck as he sighed with that particular heaviness only he could managed while his breath labored against your skin.

"And not with you."

His lip pressed against your ear, and you felt the width of their plump intimacy against your ear, the same ones you had taken to memorziing while lying next to him and turnint o memroize his features on the large mattress with legs and arms entanegeld between the comfortable inamcty of the sweat of the previous inimacty of the sheets, his mouth turned downward in messy entnagelemnt of preciouss leep that transcnended to the soft nature of his fae that fit agsint his feautures so gently, as if the emotional compacity of them had finally found their proper place on his fuatures where previously there had only ben emotion there that either didn't belong or that was taking up empty space where there would have been peace that he was made to compliment with his feauturs that melted into the pure ones so naturally when given the space to have that grace such as on that night after making love.

You felt that ceritney when you woke up and memroized the look of his lip as it detached from his upperone, brusied and kissed witht he humble relief as you had both come toegther in the richness of genuine human entanglement known as the climax of eahc others intimacy adn the richness that was made deeper than any other kind of power anyone could try to invent known as the releif adn graustuide that came after a lifetime of suffering. Your face pressed further into his neck as you took in the way his fabric had met agaisnt the smell of his branwy skin, the way there was the aftersmell of cigerrte fron what he had had to detach and regain earielr-and of course, as it always was for the both of you, thebunring smell of alcohol.

"Don't make me say it again, is all I ask."

Boajck's body began to detach from yours, and his dry eyes searched between your face before stout fingers caressed your wrists-awkwardly, but with the same practiced intention that he had every desire to fill. "Once is enough for both of us."

You smirked as you felt his thumb press on your lip, his subcincious intimacy he could only attempt because it was you-and, naturally, as it would be given by the distant detachment and the serneity that came from it, also because the both of you were buzzed.

"Blunt and to the point, as always."

"Better than the alternate frivolous beating around the bush while saying nothing. Most of what we'll hear tonight, by the way. Better start rotting your brain now." He indictaed towards the rest of the bottles. "If you start drinking the rest of the bottles now no one will know any better by the time anyone comes through that door."

"More frivolous than the picture of one of the ostrich girlfriends coming tonight."

Boajck chuckled.

"What?"

"Flashed her vagina once. Everyone memorized it. She ran away with it and it became the go to way she could at leats get people making trahsy sex tweets about her. She hasn't struggled to have her name out since. I've heard, anyway."

"Really?" His eyes widened in thought, that micvielous boyishness glinting in his eyes. The mockery of his own amusment at the detemient of others glinted as he head shook frantically. "I didn't need that introduction to the people coming themslevs tonight."

"I figuered I may as well tell you."

Bojack's eys winced. "Why?"

Your hands found their way by his arms, and he breathed a reset as he felt the puriy in constrast to the distain of the wrought of the superficial and easily labored people that were caught up in it. "Based off of what I heard and the context of the event, I assume we'll hear plently from her tonight anyway."

Boajck sighed, head tilted as the rasped neigh left his breath lips and complimented titled down ears. He turned his head back to the bottle, hand pressed on it. Your hand found his own while your finger pressed on it, and he turned as he looked at you through the puffy eyes of his druken labor of whatever deeper pit he was figthing beyind the aim of the ridiclousness that would had to his jaded response to it.

"This isn't us, anyway. Talking about others and the nothing nosnense people distarct thesemlevs with. What you did for so long-what I did, in my own way."

"And yet here we are." His eyes flicked in indication to where your fingers were pressed on his own on the bottle. "You're not making it easy either with all these new sudden drunk conversation rules."

"I haven't seen you drunk while talking like this in a long time." You paused. "Rarely."

His eyebrows rasied as a glint of humor entered his eyes. "First time for everything, right? Espcially tonight. The theme of the hour." There was a dryness to his mocking enthusiam as he turned his dry expression bac to the bottle. "Is this going to be a thing now, you grabbing for the neck and stopping me from going blow out on it? Becasue the setup towards getting to this point in our relationship was not clear."

"If you don't want to do this tonight-"

"Jesus, again with the detective shit." His eyes turned back to the neck. You hesiteed, then allowed your fingertips to slide away from udner his hand. There was a flciker of slf relfeted doubt in his eyes that met his pout as he was met with the opporintunity, then he rasied the glass as he took a swing. You stepped back, arms pressed on your chest as you watched him. His expression was dry with self aware exapseration at the determinent of his complciated action as he bottle swung down from his lip.

"There you go." He wiped the dripped of the leftover alchcol from his lip, the messy action meeting well to the detached lazy grace of his almond eyes. "Good as new. Fresh and shiny. Thank you. Nothing like a spill of extra bottles to have a nice reset."

Well, exactly. That photo has more depth than anything we'll hear tonight." A pause. "Anything I'll say, too."

"That's not true."

"With this extra bottle of wine I'm holding?" He raised up his glass, a sound of deep choke in his throat from the amount he had already consumed. His eyes lowered into that detached, ultimately troubled, but mostly superficial glaze of his boyish eyes. "Of course it is."

He took another swing, his eyes twitching as a grimace overcame his features while his ears flickered back. A rasp of a breath left his mouth as he place one hand on his him, eyes scanning over the rest of the living room and the contents that were waiting to be shared among the act Bojack was most familiar with above all else; distraction.

"I'm going to start calling some of them. It makes no sense why they would want to show up late to this thing. It has sex. That shit they call ambivalence." His hardened and drunken eyes turned down as he swayed, eyes squinting as he turned his eyes down to his phone that he pulled from his pocket as he continued to sway while his eyes squinted and flashed downward, clearly wincing at the reflection of the light of the phone as it met his disturbed eyes. "Isn't that anyone around here ever wants for a night in?"

Your eyes turned down for a moment as they reflected on the floor. You remembered Bojack's uncharacteristically and awkwardly stumbled words that had suggested this; a heated moment when you had been in the middle of whispering intimacy into his ears. He had suggested it boyishly, clumsily, with his body abruptly jolting upright under your body as he had offered you that awkward clumsy grin of his expression while his head had snapped up and his teeth had flashed in nervous and sudden interruption of your words.

The second he had mentioned it you could tell his own shock had reflected in his eyes at what he had suggested; and he would have backtracked, had it now been that even his loathing for the shallow hearted people around him was preferable to the beast known and being loved, a practice that he was still meeting with timid breaths, poked teeth and uncertain wet eyes every now and then. For someone who has spent his entire life mastering the physical art of togetherness, the emotional side was as clumsy and as uncertain as a newborn; and there was where your most inherent and intense attraction, allure, even survival rested.

Boajck let out a groan as his eyes based on a name that was on his screen.

"Christ. That idiot isn't going to be thrilled about me pushing his buttons to get here." A slight shrug of his chubby shoulders. 'But-the guy has decent sex moves, so I guess it's worth making sure he's coming over for and that he didn't forget in his line of fly body type babes that he has such a thing for."

His eyes turned up to you, complicated in that innocent drunk and ambitious fashion with a thread of his cockiness all at once. "He's a well known frog producer. He knows how to throw those ladies back like anything." His dry eyes turned back to his phone screen as his thumb rested onto of the screen. "Probably has a bigger reputation for that than his own creations."

You stepped to the side, if only for the slight relief the pointless physical movement gave you. Boajck's expression was scrunched slightly as he looked at the name, clear nervousness but that timid ambition overtaking his features-above all, looking resoundly fragile and precious, and somehow intimidating with experience at the same time.

"What should I say to the asshole? Something like-how the hell are you-" His eyes squinted as he waved his hand in a circle in consideration. "-But not-so…cliche? Shit, I don't know."

He was changing the subject to something superficial, and he was succeeding at the emptiness but comfortability of falling into the same pattern he alway did.

He leaned his hip against the counter, his turning down to his phone as he scrolled through the screen. Even without the reflection of the phone screen that glinted in his eyes did you see his disturbed nervousness, and he felt how you were looking into him. There was a thread of announce from the twitch of his features, but it was mainly a distance of that hidden desire or either uncofmortability that stemmed from the idea of wanting to hide-despite knoiwng in his own way he would suffer for it with his emotional insight. His eyes flciked up to you after a few moments of silence. You stepped forward a few paces until your hands were within reach to graze his hips. He breathed deep as his eyes turend back to the phone screen, accomplishing with a bit more rleevancy this time to the distant look he wanted to achieve.

"Your silence is very helpful. I'll try to look in between the lines to get something helpful."

Your hands rested on his arms, feeling the full comfort of the chubbiness of them as your hands guided against them in a caress. He tensed, but he fell into it with a slight ease of his body leaning against your embrace, the weight of his arms learning into your touch, though his eyes kept distance as he squinted at the pone screen that traced against his features with the neon light that complemented the dim light of the house, purposely dimmed down to a warm glow to set the "ambi-valence"-as Bojack had drawn out in a playful accented way when you had asked.

"Rich people love their ambivalence, sweetheart. Especially when they're getting set up to do dumb shit that supposed to be sexy. Which it can be, but it won't be in this case unless people do it right. Which they won't."

For the time being the was only silence as he intended to be occupied with the information on his phone, which only consisted of the information of the fly man's number that he should have been able to memorize by now. His eyes were especially worn looking as they complimented the bags under his eyes while his under eyebags increased with the forced concentration on his features-really just the extension of worry that was behind his force of denial of it. He looked especially precious and fragile, and also worse for wear, with the emotional wreckage and how it played on his features, and, as always to your eyes suited for seeing him in the way you were meant to and that he craved and had been meant to receive, extensively graceful, but ore importantly impossible not to be profoundly drenched in intimacy.

"You know that I used to think there was no such thing that stayed deep in its consistency or kept itself only deeper?"

Your hands squeezed on the part of his arm that was the plumpest before it reached his elbows. The radiation of his skin under your touch was soft, extensively warm, resoundly lovable. His eyes turned up to you, white of his eyes slightly more present now that some of the forced concentration of his puffy worn eyelids that gave away a troubled mind was laxed in his sudden attention to your words.

His eyes flicked back, and after the moment of surprise at the tenderness that left your lip, his eyes turned dryly back to his phone.

"Might have mentioned it once or twice." He scrolled through the listless number and the information under it, even as his thumb hit the end of the page, the act of tapping his thumb onto the screen keeping him occupied. There was the complicated change in his expression as he occupied himself with it. "Usually under the guise of your romantic sentiments you have every now and then, and then the doubt that followed underneath them."

There was that boyish softness at the edge of his concentrated detachment.

"Every now and then."

"That's right."

Your body was close enough to his that it spoke of a contentment for the time being that it was enough. The maddening pull towards his pathetic and humble modest human vulnerability was put at ease, at least for the moment.

"That's right." You repeated the same sentiment of his words, and his head turned as he looked to you now, the want of intimacy that you had broken through but were still finding the narrative of his own specific way of speaking it still following through for both of you. "Until you."

His ears flicked back. He gave a shrug as his eyes flicked away for a moment in his uncertain sentiment.

"Everything didn't seem that deep, or rich. I tried to pretend like it was ok, but I could feel the emptiness of it."

"Right." There was a soft breath that left his features. "Like everyone else."

"For the majority of my life-and, if I were to go deeper than that, for everything until I felt the specific way that you touched me, it felt like there were only a few handful of months to something and then it reached its end."

"That would be how shit would work." The emptiness of his eyes increased, the same way that it did with every bluntly made statement. "By the way, complaining and sulking about it, or doing a combination of both of those things does nothing. Tried it a few times. Strategy dosen't get any more effective. Great way to spend an afternoon though when you're not-" His eyes indicated towards his phone screen. "Temporarily entertaining yourself with bullshit like this."

Your eyes turned down. Your hand was finding your way to his arm, and you could feel the nervous rush of his veins from your intimacy, as well as whatever other kind of human gentle fear that followed him.

"It was exhausting, crushingly unsatisfying, going from thing to thing and even more so knowing so many other people felt that way."

Bojack paused, breathed deep for a moment-and then whatever small battle he was fighting ceased for the pause as he allowed as his head turned to you.

"And I was the entrance away from that. Me."

He was being dry and ironic in his own challenging layered self loathing way. It would have been easy for it to come across as narcissism with how much it had the same air of confident and unwavering intimidation, completed with his dry eyes and natural challenging expression of someone who was confident and overtly familiar in the disdain that graced his face.

But the natural sopshication he carried with him in his general air was the bewilderment of most perception and misinterpretation of his existence of those who observed him, and you knew that that odd grace he carried embedded in his timid flawed humanity was just as well self loathing as much as it could be misconstrued as detached insult of response to the other.

Your hands found their way against the curve of his arm. You saw the tense muscles on his face ease in response as the light in his eyes began to gently dim, relaxing in a slight way from his previous aggression.

"It doesn't feel that way, loving you. It has its own life. It keeps transcending, reexperiencing, reinventing, but most importantly- it stays rich." Your fingers squeezed on his arm. "You stay so rich."

You were feeling more above whatever concerns were dragging you down before. Had you come to learn anything over the experimentations as the years went and as you experienced the new challenges of life that more often than not had the same message only dressed slightly differently, it was that these moments of memorization of his jaded language and of what made him himself was fully endowed into a restart and reset for the both of you; even as you spoke them, you could feel the recharge between the both of you. Bojack paused in what looked like his attempt at distraction, then chuckled softly in that raspy and self acknowledging way of his own inner battlement coming into acceptance, rather than distance.

"You say that a lot."

His soft and simplistic eyes that fought for the upfront of his expression despite his attempt at keeping them distant and hidden, charging you with their gentle simplicity, sparked as he turned to you and placed the phone on the counter.

"It's good. For both of us."

There was a slight sound of a rasp against his lip as his eyes turned downward, fingertips guided against the glass as the distance of his exhausted eyes took in the swirling of the liquid.

"The hard part is the part where you drill it into my skull to get me to believe it." His dry eyes turned to the open door, large and expansive in its welcome, but opened only a few inches to guide whatever little welcome Bojack could manage from the comfort of his abrasive invalidation of the value of other's company that he could manage for the night. "'Especially before a lot of people come over that I know is going to ham so much trashy white noise blah blah goo goo philosophy in my head so much to the point that I can barely think."

His arms crossed against his lazily leaned back form, turning his head to the phone as he watched the screen-his ears twitched as he turned his head to the glowing light of the phone screen as his eyes caught a notification. His expression turned back to you with the gentleness of that profound humanity that entered his appreciation when he did allow himself to feel your intimacy-nothing less than an explosive expanse of light of the most tender energy that made your body feel like it had come ti its full purpose; as for your damaged emotions and minds, a certain exhausted heavy tragedy of relief of both past memory and current relief; but it was more than enough.

"Just got my first callback. Looks like we both have about two minutes of sanity on our shoulders before this place becomes riddled with drug addicted fame cradled grown children." His ears spayed back, eyes turned downward as he shrugged his shoulders lightly. A lightness to denial entered his eyes as he flicked his expression away from you and entertained his insecurity with a shrug. "You first. If its therapeditc to give you any healing of whatever anyone throws on us in the next few hours."

"If you don't want them to come over, then why do it?"

Boajck's expression tensed, and his eyes closed for a moment, as if under the scrutiny of an odd tension.

"I do. Want them to come over, I mean." The hidden exhaust of his foretelling eyes looked forward, distant a bit too much for you to be able to have the comforting claim that you knew were he was. "It's just the experience of knowing it probably won't end well and having to accept what that feels like."

"Better than staying home, taking in things as they are?"

His eyes turned up, this time settling on the concentration of the fridge than the ground. Had the expression of someone who made melancholy seemed comforting, profound, astounding and mundane in an incredibly human way at the same time, it would have been in the hollywood conflicted exude of his expression that, not unlike his choice of house, was the election of the choice of his house and the location of it as it reflected against the bittersweet buildings of the the city out of reach just enough to take it for what it was, and even more so to not find any comfort int it.

"Better than staying here." his ears flicked at the tip as his eyes turned up. "In this house of the little ball of self reflection to the point of all draining loathing. Not just for me but-" A breath left his lips. 'Everything. What came out of it because of me, what I am because of it." His expression turned away from where his expression had settled on the concentration of the fridge, rendering his expression even more gentle and profound in that naturally odd sophisticated and humbly humane beautiful way as his expression turned to you. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"Setting the mood. Not the king of philosophy you want to have right before a bunch of bangers of men and women come stumbling in expecting a good time."

"You know I don't mind. If anything, speaking the same language is the way we come together. Survive."

His eyes turned up from their distant consideration of that deepness that one only achieved when they knew that traveling of thought that overcame them entirely only from the deepness of self reflection and of the loss of what made up the travels to get there to begin with. The melancholy of the distance of his expression rested as he turned to you.

"I thought you were going to talk about other things anyway. I thought you were going to tell me something."

It was his invitation for you to comfort him, in his own hidden words of request that made up the complication of the layers of his tone and words. Your hands found the edge of the chubbiness of his wrist that poked out from his sleeve as your fingertips rested against it, fingers ghosted around the feeling of the presence of his hand and the grounding of it-and though you felt that eternal hope touching him in that moment, there was also the dread of you own that you kept hidden well enough that he was the certain kind of contentment that you would never replace once the inevitable of him being taken from you occurred. Still, you kept your own, and it wasn't hard, considering the purity of his presence once all else fell away.

"It's this weird feeling of being sick of everything. Maybe sick is too hard of a word for it."

Boajck raised up his brow, though the genuine innocence of inquiry didn't leave his eyes as he watched you.

"Everything human, everything coddled, either too much or not enough. Being disgusted with humanity as a whole and knowing no one deserved it."

"Deserved what?"A black flicker entered Bojack's eyes, and you knew you had already kneeled into an insecurity,

"Everything. Anything. Even being sick of your own comfort or whatever luxury you could give yourself. Even for myself. Once I saw the consistent unapologetic and unforgiving nature of how everyone was and how no one even cared about how they were, the way so much suffering and the extension of ti leaked into what everyone did and said to each other. Every softness, any want of it, any luxury, seemed pathetic, because it seemed like no one really deserved it."

His eyes turned downward. The emotional intelligence that was always present in his eyes increased, though it was complemented by the heavy edge of sadness that always found that dynamic chemistry of his eyes. Along with it, his snout seemed more heavy with distant consideration.

"And you want me to follow the idea that I helped you not feel that way."

"I'm not at the part of my point yet?"

"And to buy it?"

His eyes turned up as his teeth poked while he watched you in question. Your hand on squeezed further on his arm in reassurance, or at least the want of being able to give it. Though the always erratic and sickly overthinking of Bojack's mind that was an extension of the pollution that made up the world that surrounded him that allowed him to feel that way or to even exist that way to begin with, it was your guidance of being able to find your own purpose to find him with where he was at; god knew your own particularly brand of sickness needed what you could give him, and what he could receive from it in kind.

He relaxed slightly under your touch, though the lighting of the question in his eyes didn't leave.

"You became not the distraction from that, but the answer that was so overpowering that it wasn't that I stopped feeling the negative, I just had better things to commit to, something more powerful than any of what I hated about existence or the flaws of humanity that will never end. I don't know if me loving you is enough for either of us but i certainly feels like ti daily-and there's this odd suffocating feeling that would come over me entirely if I didn't at least say that I did everything to execute what you do to me. Inspire out of me."

Bojack's eyes kept concentrated on you. There was a question, but mostly lost uncertainty, that inhabited them, and as lost as as looking to you of hat you were convinced you had been made to give each other from the start.

"And you still feel that way? It's not-something that could be easily beaten out of you with-well. Everything in life, really." His voice lowered as his eyes turned away from that physical projection of trying to find you with where you were at for a moment, like his trembling desperate touches that occupied the both of you as he caressed you at night in the middle of whatever troubled him in his tousled dreams. "Not something that I could easily mess up?"

You give him a smile that had a weight of exhust ot it; but right along with that, a relief of that connection of authenticity that felt so good that carried the both of you between every abrasive doubt made by other people and whatever response and conjured up worlds had been made up in your minds in response ot it.

"If it were that, you would know it by now. And I would too."

His eyes dimmed and became more related, as if the answer both comforted him and made him somber at the same time. Your fingertips squeezed against his wrist again, and he breathed a rasp as he inched his body further to you, more of a wordless exhausted defeat more than it was a wordless request for you to go on, but you took it for what it was and felt the draw of your words increase more so regardless.

"That feeling was so prevalent in me and other people for such a long time that it got to the point where I thought I had reached the age of horrifying stagance where that was all there was now. I had grown up, I saw everything for what it was, the magic began to fall away-and the worst part, acceptance and the stone feeling of it began to follow. Being listened to felt useless and unneeded; there was no one to connect to where it felt genuine or something to believe in. It felt oddly-" Your fingertips squeezed against his arm, threading around his wrist in your subconscious travel of thought of the only thing that felt meaningful or good-gneuine worthwhile intimate thought, and the sharing of a mind that was both sharp in his natural intelligence and muddy with the fog of his bewilderment that made up his headspace. It wasn't as if that innocent following of his eyes wouldn't have guided you into a natural led of that spiritual, whether you meant to or not. "Disgusting."

His eyes were compelling in that innocent inquiry, his eyes searching against yours in that both hidden and inquisitive way that occupied that rare preciousness of his expression. His pupils flicked as he took in the hints of your emotional guidance of thought as his eyes traveled over you for the few moment his inquiry would allow him.

"Because of the idea that no one deserved it?"

"It just didn't make sense. To want or to believe in anything good."

"For other people."

"In general. Or even less than anyone should have wanted it. Black emptiness was the only thing that made sense, for myself or anything else."

His eyes lowered downward as his hands edged with a grip on the back of the counter, muscles on his face frowning in thought, adding to the grace of what made up the trouble of his thought and that natural soppy jaded edge of a movement for eyes that captured both an edge to a intelligent and cocky soul and also the most easily destroyed precious essence you had ever come to know; the travel of what had given meaning to your own life and continued to do so. The muscles on his face tensed for a moment with a hit of his teeth lightning from his twisted lip.

"So in this time you believed that, from the timeline that you felt this way to when you started to find me." His eyes raised up as they took you in, squinted in inquiry of a sickliness of a want of desire to know, complimented in that contradicting and inquisitiveness way of an unhealthy side effects of the fight that had come along with it. "What changed?"

"Aren't we both figuring that out, every day, while we change and come back together and separate, then come back together again?"

Bojack's lips raised up into a gentle edge of a grin, and the softness gave company to what made up that wreckless precious and constant apology of his eyes so easily manipulated into thinking they were otherwise.

"I guess so." The light in his eyes dimmed as his eyes threaded into thought. The troubling look of his snout broke up as his worried expression, so easily dismissed by the world on anything on than the superficial-no wonder he had been brought up the same as it was the only attention he got, focused on you again. "You were just a small woman with one singular purpose looking to find some embedment into the world that had so many other versions of purpose that you easily lost yours.. I know how easy it is for small people like you to get easily torn up by the expanse of the noise of everyone else's' purpose and to get lost in your own. Even though its probably the only thing that would sva eyou is to accept your small singular propose entirely and separate it from any other doubt or whatever other bullshit people throw on you to try and doubt the possibility of fulfillment in that."

Your eyes turned up to him, lightning as you took in the reflection of the light both from the moon and the pool, both as eternal and as oddly timeless in the most heart trenching reflection of a fashion as the reflection of his guided on his eyes, teasing in that light charmstic way, but there was so much heaviness underneath every word.

"You know about the species of woman like me?"

Your tone was teasing and reflective, eyes wiggled, though you met him with the undertone of the easily wrecked brokenness underneath his every word even when he meant it as light that he wanted to believe that he could achieve to escape the heaviness. His eyes turned down until you only saw the grace of his snout as the heaviness of his eyes turned downward, the sleepy bags under his eyes increasing as the emptiness of them met into the idea that you had heard the undertone, and that he hadn't believed much to begin with that he was leading himself into believing he could achieve the conversation in the controlled and light way he wanted.

"What else was it like? The headspace."

His voice was guided in light, almost boyish inquiry and the contradictory beauty of his heavy eyelids as turned to you in question. Your words and physical intimacy together, no matter how small, were like a thread of small bouts of relief that you gave each other through the emptiness and the lack of forgiveness of existence that surrounded you both otherwise, taking one small thread of a barely threaded comfort until it lead to the large bout of one relief of physical and emotional intimacy between the both of you, a rest in that relief, and then another tumble onto the next thread.

"Well It's like all things-it comes and goes in hints and headspaces, sometimes more intense than others. You don't even want it anymore, the happiness or the hope or to see it from anyone else. It feels wrong after a certain point, or like its made for people who aren;t seeing things the way they really are. Every comfort like an unnecessary flesh of skin that comes from a bloating of over excess that just feels less like its a confirmation of your happiness and more like the way people ignore how everything else is. It's not even about other people deserving it, but you've seen and felt so many terrible things that concepts such as gushiness, excess comfort, art, luxuries of the spirit it just feels disgusting to you after a certain point, as if its somehow the backhand of admitting that suffering is ok. Even for yourself. You just want evrything stark, straightforward, exactly as it is. Blunt, with no room for dreams or hope of the whimsical ideas people come up with to cope or even just to play. You just become bleak, black, because its the only thing that feels true to you. And as terrible as it is, after a certain point, truth is enough."

Bojack's ears kept back, and the uncertainty of his eyes turned down.

"And you never thought for a moment before I came along that there was something other than that?"

Your eyes turned to meet the grace of his troubled expression. His eyes met yours, traced by the neon light of his pool. There was a sickliness there despite the over bloated wrought that came along with his excess wealth-an inherent understanding that came from the excess of human pain.

"Did you?"

Boajck's ears flicked back. His eyelids lowered as he turned away from your expression, and a slight breath left his lips as his eyes transformed into that distant thought that was just as well meant for coverage of any true emotion.

"I don't think I allowed myself to think that far."

Your lip raised into a small amusement.

"And that worked?"

He caught the raise of your lip. and his eyes lowered into a entrance of warmth as the dullness of his eyes was temporarily caught up in that cocky confidence that was brought on by the suggestion of connection. The large grin of his white teeth poked out of his snout as the natural cockiness met the contradiction of the fragility of his timid nature as his eyes met your own disposition.

"It worked for me pretty well, all things considered." He shrugged , a conflict in his eyes as his hand threaded on his amrs. "Until now, maybe."

You gave a small nod. Your fingers squeezed further on his wrist, and he tensed in response, though for the most part did it seem like a response of leaning into your intimacy and an agreement of its importance for the both of you.

"Sometimes it's less painful to accept the emptiness of your life rather than thinking or wishing for what you knew you would be better for but you'll never have."

"Is that what you did?"

"For a long time. When I was longing for you. Or maybe the idea of you. If I did it for too long it started to become too much of a weight, and the emptiness and grief felt better."

His eyes squinted in timid bewilderment. "Why?"

"Because it was what was there for me at the time-and as it turned out it felt like the presence of even a state that was terrible felt better than imagining it because at least it was there. Real."

Boajck's eyes lowered down. The age and wear of his face, right along with the natural grace of it, increased on his already naturally impossibly long and grieving expression.

"I wish I could have told you to come to me when you needed me."

His hand grazed on his other arm, chubby hand ghosting out of your touch in order to give himself that catharsis momentarily. "When you felt that way. I wish I had knew you existed. What that felt like." He chuckled, irony to the sound, as his eyebrows lowered into a distant determined glint. "Wouldn't that be nice."

You let out a hum and you turned your head, reflective as your eyes threaded onto the floor.

"Don't flatter the narrative too much."

There was a wince in his eyes that you caught as your expression turned up to his. "Why?"

"I don't think I would have been the best respond to what you needed as much as you deserved. As much as the narrative deserved. Either one."

Bojck laughed, though it was ironic, laden and exhausted as he did so.

"I think you may have had competition anyway."

His head tilted to you, eyes worried and laden with that question and the natural adventure of innocence that had made his life so complex and profound rather than the stagance of being civil or of the fake value or organization that a more dull soul would have followed. His life had been profound and interesting, relentlessly complex, and though every action was dressed with insecurity and at the core of it held guilt, there was an astounding sense of refreshing adventure to everything he did that had made it truly refreshing and alive, tinted with the energy and grace that only came from someone who had dared to make up the most worthwhile thing to both look back on and feel as a life: experience.

"Well." Your body adjusted as you cleared your throat, leaning against the counter as you did so while a certain exhaust graced your tone. "You didn't, and I didn't either, so there's no point in dressing up what could have happened."

Bojack squinted at you playfully, ears lowered as that teasing light overcame his face that guided into him even in the most surprising heavy conversation-that enduring hope he should have never had but possessed regardless.

"Is there?"

His eyes turned up, awkwardly but hopefully and playfully, as he hand raised up in a gesture. "Didn't it end up happening anyway?"

You breathed a laugh. Your eyes dressed against the enduring hope of Bojack, despite what everyone saw in him, despite what they refused to believe in, even as it was anything you could see.

"It did. In the ways that count."

"Exactly."

His head tilted as his eyes glimmered while he looked at you with his head tilted. "So let's enjoy that. Focus on that."

"You did ask." Your head turned as it grazed on one of the neck of the bottles. Bojack's soft smile flickered in guidance of curiosity and a vague agreement of where the emotional thread of your conversation was going he watched you.

"Of course I did. I want to know. Getting to this part, why we're here." A slight shrug of his shoulders as unceritney passed across his features, innocent as always. "I want to know."

He was, as always, innocent and sophisticated in his own broken and plump homely fashion; the very embodiment of the most fragile contradiction that seemed that it was the full and resounding extent of the most alluring form of love. You leaned forward, your lips grazing on his cheek, and you felt him soften as his body leaned into your touch and your hand that rested on his arms while the intimacy of your kiss pressed on his cheek.

"It never really goes away, the feeling."

"No?"

"No." Your body eased against the side of his shoulder, and he leaned against the edge of your arm with a new ease, though his eyes were kept downward in his glinted worry. The innocence to it carried your own want to guide him through your thoughts; though he was superficial by default, there was a curiosity to him, and an emotional profound depth that you knew was more naturally embedded in him as long as there was the sense for it to breathe.

"It's so rich with the truth of life."

"Rich. Not the word I would think of for something that you're defining. Not the one I would want to, either."

There was an exhausted tint to your smile, but gently amused and smoothed to the conversation between the both of you, as your eyes turned downward. "There's a certain kind of depth that comes along with it."

"Ok. Yeah. Sure. But not-" He waved his hand in a circle as thought occupied his eyes as they rolled up in thought."The fun kind, though? Like, at least the shitty kind, maybe."

"The kind that gave me this profound feeling every day that there was a purpose in that grief. Tthere was a depth to that that carried every day of my life."

His eyes searched yours, puffy and boyish squint in his eyes. And, as always, endearing lostness and a wonderment that followed them.

"Why?"

You paused as you thought it over. The grounding of your hand on the soft chubbiness of his wrist was enough to keep your trail of thought clear and confident, reading your thoughts towards whatever wisdom and comfort you could give him. That, in and of itself, was the most deep comfort for the both of you, as stumbling and as uncertain as it was.

"Life and contentment isn't about happiness. It's about-" You paused, trying to find the right words. You knew that as experienced as Bojack was, with people anyway, that he was easily influenced, easily those he deemed as more insightful or trusted more than himself, though that mostly came from a lack of trust he had towards anything of value he could with his own natural insight that was present even just in his tone.

"Not worrying about having those things and trying to pretend to be ok anyway to spite other people, I know." Bojack filled the air with his jaded wit, if only to fil the silence that you knew mae him the most uncomfortable when when thought occupied it.

Your lip curved up. "SImilar, in a way."

"Really?" His lip raised into a curve of a smile. "First time I've ever been agreed with that easily."

"It's about having depth to your life. It's about having this feeling of energy and purpose, of either living for something bigger than you, or for living for something so rich and full that you have no other worry except to live for that which is so much greater than you. You were that for me; the wait, the grief thinking I would never have you." Your hand squeezed against his wrist. "And now I do. And that's what's given my life value to myself; maybe not to the surface of other people, maybe not to even you."

His body straightened up as his teeth poked out.

"That's not true." His arm grazed against himself nervously as your expression turned up to meet his gaze. A certain understanding cme over his face as he watched you. "Ok. Maybe from a distance. But what did you expect me to think without knowing?"

"Exactly. No one knew, not even me, but I felt it-that profound purpose. Not that it felt good or that it felt like a relief, but it felt like something that was whole and real, and when there was peace with us, or an agreement for us both to come together; that was when it would be so rich it made everything above whatever wreckage of the world or of myself came up with. It would be less than nothing in comparison. That even just the purpose of longing after you and finding you and fighting you would have been more than enough. The loss is inherently terrible, of course it is, but that richness." Your hand guided on his arm. "It's like nothing else."

Boajck's eyes flicked in roaming thought as he took in your words. There seemed to be a genuine thought as he ruled over them with the natural intense conflict that made up his eyes more often than not.

"Was it worth it, then?"

His tone was soft, reproachful just as much as the gentleness of it entered from the anxiety under lace from his question. His head turned to yours as his eyes turned up to you in question. His eyes turned down when you turned to meet his, as if in natural apology of the question that he had no doubt convinced himself was inherently laden with something he should have felt guilty of by default, if only because it was related to tenderness and was intertwined with the concept of himself; two concepts he seemed to never have found a peace with. "The finding me part after all that, I mean."

Your fingers squeezed on his wrist. The intensity of it was fully wrought with the welcomed intensity. When it came to the weight of the lostness of Bojack and your desperation to find him, there was never such thing as an intense introduction to tight.

"You were beyond anything I ever could have thought of."

Bojack laughed quietly. There was a tenderness to his eyes as well as the sound of his raspy relief that gave away his deep complex nature of gentleness of who he had been born to be. His eyes kept down as his face laxed into a gentle consideration, as if timid in the wake of genuine approach of love, even now.

"Good to know."

Your head rested on the side of his shoulder. There was nothing for a moment but the quiet of the house; one of which seemed just as intentionally content in its deep silence as much as Bojack himself was. For someone known for wanting distractions and loudness and whatever noise others or himself could come up with, there was a deep and melcochic pain in him that seemed to seem far more at place with the emptiness of the silence of the house, with nothing but the just as equally relfcteive pattern of the neon pool that symbolized every grieved he had of the fears of head to pur up with that represented his greatest fears just for the sake of the closest thing he could get to that represented what he couldn't live without; superficial accomplishment and attnteion from others dressed as love.

Not entirely unlike that night. For every time you had felt you were bringing him back from the brink; not changing it, only falling in love deeply with his chubby tenderbuild that seemed the epitome of lovability, made even more so because of his unjustified troublement world had put him through- the same way it did with any given person on every level in some way to convince them that their existence wasn't enough and leading them to permanent lack of peace-but rather loving and falling in love so deeply that you thought you could make that version of him feel entirely detached from his previously known reality.

Naivety, you thought is intrusive black fleeting moments. Not because it wasn't possible, but rather because it was as apart of the unruled messiness that owed no one nothing as much as anything else. And the bigger surprise; how deeply and spiritually rewarding it was despite all the trouble-not even despite, but because of it. You nudged your cheek against the side of is shoulder. There was a softness that left his breath the few physical walls he belt up fell down. Someone as timid and gentle as Bojack has never ben made for walls, nd he had clumsy executed them. What lied beyond them was every single sweep that made its way through the crack of his core of just how desperate and lovability he was. The entirety of his air screamed for it.

"Whatever happens tonight, whatever is said, try to see the good in it."

You leaned your head toward the side of his shoulder as you kissed it. As it always was with his conflicted response, Bojack sighed, his eyes closed as ears lowered while his head eased down.

"If it was that easy I would hava started it every every time there ever could have been a negative emotion."

"I know." Your hand eased into a rhythm of caress that was therapedic for the both of you from its gentleness, the transfer of that deep elevated feeling of humanity that only came from genuine love; what all people craved in their own way, and the version of how you both executed it was humble, simple, authentic. Clumsy, unimpressive; and yet that hadn't mattered in the wake of how much you felt that surreal feeling that only came from the genuine lognong wait of a bond and how perfectly you had been suited to love one another anyway. "That's why you're so good at seeing it coming. The pattern of when a situation is about to be a slew of negativity."

His eyes squinted in thought while his head titled in that adorable helpless fashion. There was something about his air that spoke of something deep and tragic in the consideration of his eyes; as superficial as people deemed him, there was a depth to him that came from elongated suffering that most had neither the endurence or the patience for. The reward of the endurnae gvae a depth of emotional rewards and weapons that woulnd't have been given otherwise; but they were well paid for. You saw that surreal sopshiticated and deep reality of the depth of his emotion and his mind of what had come from a long life od suffering since the stat with very little promise of relief. It was surreal, oevrtaking, deep, demeaning, and the depth of utterly human that wasn't necessarily peace; but it was real, and there was so much breathtaking relief to be found in real. Though seemed to enter his eyes, in his own surreal detached drunken fashion-but there was a deep wsiedom always present there, and it came out when he was unassuming enough to allow it. His boyish and adorable carefree manner had done no change to that.

"Funny, isn't it? The fact that half the time I can't stand my thoughts because of whatever narrative it puts in it, and then on the other hand I can't stand not being with myself because it's the only relief I have from other people and whatever bullshit the world puts on me."

"It's not your fault to not have it all figured out." Your hand caressed his back. The comfort of the action seemed to follow your words, though the grace that occupied his features so naturally didn't lessen in their emotional exhaust.

"Or none of it. Not enough if I still cling onto these stupid superficial people." His hand pressed on his forehead while that troubled look entered his eyes as he squinted and leaned forward, hand gripping back behind the counter. "Why is it that I want their company so bad?"

You could tell from the edge of panic to his voice that the love you had given him didn't heal his countless past relationships where his insecurity and worry hadn't become the blunt end to the relationship. Your lip met his shoulder again, and though that action didn't ease the pain in Boajck's expression or the worry that tensed his strong and structured features, it soothed you to take in that, and just as the way that you both threaded and guided one another through pots of strength where the other one failed, you would continue to the pattern until it met in that warm conclusion of you both meeting in the same place again.

His troubled eyes turned up to you, eyes exquisite and wandering in their insecurity as he leaned his conflicted attention on you. A sudden panic opened in his eyes that resolved his sudden array of uncertainty and he turned as his hand snapped to the phone.

Your grasp found his wrist before the the trembling of is hand snapped to the phone, his teeth poked out through his worried grimace and his eyes bugging in desperate exhaust. He snapped his eyes to you while he watched you in the middle of his heated panic.

"I need to call them. I changed my mind-this was a bad idea. This is humiliating. I should have outgrown this by now. These assholes don't want to see was fucking."

"Breathe." Your hand pressed on the back of his body, and you saw the confliction in his eyes as the bugged and worn fear didn't leave his features. His eyes snapped over to the phone as the fear in his eyes bugged, teeth encased against his features while you saw his tremble with an ancient heaviness and human insecurity that never left him alone, especially when they came to the forefront such as now. He let out a whimpered breath as his hand relaxed, but only slightly, as his hand eased away from the phone. The worn fear on his face didn't leave his expression despite the deeply engraved troubled look on the stretched wrinkles and sleepless nights that guided around his troubled features.

"I need to call them. This can't happen. I'm not doing this in front of men. In the industry? That's practically suicide-or even worse, they'll remember it and take it with whatever backwash gossip they can drill themselves into. I'm not doing it in front of anyone!"

His tone laced in a begging as his eyes bugged over to you. The wretchedness to his expression increased with the deep bags under his eyes. There was a maturity of acceptance that overcame his expression as his troubled eyes turned down while his wrist shook against your embrace. His breath overtook him in conflict as he began to relax against your grasp, and though the fragile pain of his eyes didn't leave him, his tense disposition temporarily rested as he eased his wrist away from the counter.

"You can't let me go through with this."

With the combination of the begging that made up his troubled eyes and th softness in his expression, it was a miracle you didn't automatically grant him permission to his own erratic impulsivity.

"You wanted to do this for a reason. I think we should allow ourselves to find what that reason is."

Bojack's eyes flicked up as his ears splayed down in what was the frustrated aftermath of his panic. His hand flicked up with one finger shot straight to you.

"A few minutes ago you were telling me to not go through with this. Questioning me. You're changing your mind this quickly?"

"Not stopping. Inquiring."

His eyes dimmed. "Is there a difference?"

A laugh left your lips, trembled with an edge of something that didn't seem unlike the madness that came across with infatuation as the grasp on his hand graduated over to a gentle grasp of a caress.

"With the way you look right now, it's a miracle I don't grant you anything you want, sweetheart."

The softness in your voice was authentic in its desperate gentleness that it shifted the context of the conversation entirely. There seemed to be a soothing that overcame his features where there had previously been a tense defense before as his shoulders lowered, his hand guiding over to his stomach as his troubled eyes turned to the phone, heavy and meeting against his bloated cheeks while his worried eyes guided to the phone.

"I just want to make sure that I can do something that-" He sighed, messily, heavily, as the weight of his eyes kept away from you despite the feeling the words had left behind that you had spoken. "Shows people that I'm different." He shrugged. "Somehow. I don't know why. But it feels like something I want-maybe need-to do."

"Sleeping with me in front of a sex party will give you that."

His head snapped to you as his eyes widened. "I've never had a serious partner before. They've never seen me like this." His ears lowered as an exhaust overcame his eyes, no doubt brought on from whatever conflict he was wrestling with in his chest that the world as a whole made it no easier at any given moment-determined on making the wreckage harder, if anything.

"That's our job that we have to do right now."

His eyes were occupied by the rich insecurity in his eyes and the puffy bloated sockets of his bags as they darted with the same amount of aimless chaos as much as his sudden conflicted words did.

"With making it seem less ridiculous, I mean."

"You don't have to."

"But these guys are onto me, you understand? Or they will be. They'll dress up what we have as weird or badly intended or as 'Bojack's new disgusting fling that he's singing to get back at some girlfriend he barely remembers.'"

His hand waved in mockery while his eyes crossed to execute his point in his usual jaded boyish mockery.

"I can see the cheap back font already. Or even worse-the horribly chosen font for people's cheap phone screens for the female intern who's using it to know what it feels like to get clicks. That's Los Angeles. That's what I'm-we're'-looking at if we don't find a way to feed the narrative to them. You understand?"

You breathed a sigh as your eyes turned down. They threaded onto his fingertips as his features soothed from their previous exhaust only slightly as his eyes turned down and watched the thread of your hands through the space of his fingers. His head turned as his ears lowered, evidently aware of his own conflicted enough to feel the slightest edge of shame.

"I'm sorry if that doesn't help. But that's what we're looking at realistically."

His hallowed wet eyes turned to you, edged and kissed by the edge of the neon light of the pool.

"I know it's not fun to look at things as they are, but I've had to do that my entire life." An exhaust left the final words, as if they were and admittance in and of itself.

"Seeing things as how they are and not the safe way whiskey or vodka makes you feel like they do of being under the influence being the only way to navigate it." his eyelids lowered in his natural witty dry humor. "Also known as not being able to perceive or take anything in."

His expression turned down as he focused on the rhythm of your hands on his fingertips. "I'm not the kind of guy that would see or want to approach things that way and I never have before." He shrugged, an akncolwgmnt towards his action and reasoning towards the past in the contrast of comparison to what it left him now. "Having to face the bullshit head on, I mean. Unless it invovloed some fame reward or sex, obvioulsy."

Your fingertips caressed the tip of his hands with a caress as your eyes turned up and stayed pinpointed don him in a way that was comforting to you both-him for his want of always wanting to be fawned and worried over and seen, you for you inherent strength for focusing on him.

"What changed?"

He shrugged. The stoic nonchalantness in his eyes seemed to give away all the answer you needed, though it wasn't as if it didn't always feel soothing just to hear the words that were so easily executed in his eyes for your reading anyway.

"You tell me. We both experienced it at the same time, didn't we?"

"I want to hear your version of it."

Bojack let out a rasped laugh, ironic and exhausted in his conflicted emotional labor.

"My version. Don't hear that too often. Usually it's about me trying to get my version out and every single given involved person trying to get me to shut up. Not that I agree or that the feeling isn't usual mutual or that I don't dress it up with masked denial anyway-by the way, great way of achieving that kind of headspace, and incredibly resourceful."

"Don't trip around the bush."

Bojack's eyes twisted into the humored avoidant expression that only he could manage to look so innocent and attractive if only for just how he made everything seem like it had an endearment of precious fragility and playfulness to it that demanded protection.

"Tripping around the brush. Look at you go with all that sophisticated vocabulary."

Your lip found his shoulder, pressing on it lightly with intimacy. He let out a breath of exhaust as his head turned down while you felt the weight of his acceptance fall into the safety that was challenging enough for him to feel uncomfortable, but far more trustworthy and relieving enough for him to ever see it as anything that could want to be avoided.

"You're not alone. I don't always know if I can approach the way I want to love you the right way." Your hand caressed against his arm. "Or the way you deserve either."

A gentle laugh left his lips. It was as graceful as much as it was insecure.

"I doubt it."

"Don't worry about doubt. I know I'll show you, and you'll see and recognize it, the same way we both have so far even without meaning to."

He turned his eyes up to you, teeth poked that showed both signs of surprise and wonder of question that showed off genuine surprise in his headspace that, for all its impressive emotional depth, hadn't allowed himself to truly explore it in the wake of its inherent intimidation.

"Really."

"It's too much for everyone, really."

"What?"

"All of it. Everything. It seems, anyway. It's so beautiful and promising and incredible-but also exhausting and relentless in its pain, and when there's the question if there's even any point or reward to it, or it would even be enough for the process to be worth it even if there was-that's when it can feel like too much. Tragedy and complexity can cause all understanding of the self to break down on its knees in the absolute power of what it held that would destroy anyone with that overwrought of emotion if they felt it in its complexity."

"Jesus." Bojack wigged his eyebrows at you, though the perplexed understanding of where you were coming from was agreed with in his eyes despite whatever he might have hidden in them. "Looks like we need more bottles before the rest show up."

Your lip kissed his shoulder again.

"Other people aren't a husk of an empty replaceable pattern. It can feel that way, believe me, I you start to see someone for all the detail of who they are, and eventually, no matter what, even if you never admit it, and most people don't, there's this humanity that hits you in life. And suddenly you can't remember how you ever thought that people weren't their own individual story and detail of life, and how rewarding it is to interact with it."

Boajck's eyes lowered in that natural capacity he had for discomforting cynical nature, and the home he had with it.

"Yeah. Unless they just want to take whatever minute entertainment they can get out of your end of your detail. Or even more common-they never care or see it to begin with."

You paused, your lips pressed into a minute careers against his shoulder, cheek gliding against his skin in a just as equally soft measure of gently guided physical comfort.

"Then why do you find comfort in it?"

Bojack's eyes snapped to you. "In what?"

"In inviting them over."

Bojack's eyes flicked as his eyes squinted in question. "What, these guys? Is it unusual to se hacks coming up to a guy's house in Los Angeles? Because as far as I've ever been able to tell, that's always been pretty common."

"Why do you bring them over for any extent of comfort at all if you see it this way this much?"

Bojajck's eyes became foggy and distant in that way he did when he was either at a discomforting loss, or exhausted at the prodding.

"Noise. Weird shit that maybe could almost be seen as fun. Why does anyone in Los Angeles or anywhere do anything except to feel like they're maybe one of those lucky guys that's dong more than just surviving?"

There was more to the answer, the same way there always was with the attempt at hidden discomfort when it came to anything that would have rendered Bojack's existence as complicated. He was a tender heart and even more timid disposition that had been molded to be able to navigate life's own natural canopy of wanting to tear people down as much as possible in whatever way it a granted; in response to survive it, Bojack had become the guise of a consistently confident narcissist, the closest thing to being able to easily glide over a world that was hellbent on taking down anyone in whatever way they came.

He breathed a layered low sigh as as shoulders rolled, though nothing he could have done physically got rid of that sick exhaust in his eyes. He turned back to the bottles, picking one up by the neck and starting to swish it in his hands as his always sickly and baggy eyes watched the slosh of the liquor.

"Anyway, I figured it would be good for the guy. And his wife. He used to star in background features and I heard through what he claimed as secondary sources that he was going through shit lately, so i thought-well, may as well make it fun shit."

He placed the bottles down, dry, distant and emotionally complicated eyes eyes turning to you.

"And I know how much you've needed company lately."

It was incredible how profoundly soft and human, and utterly approachable, Boacjk's tone was when he allowed the slightest hint of emotional vulnerability to inhabit it. Your hand found its proper home in response; your palm resting on his shoulder as you squeezed.

"You're wonderful."

Your hand caressed a few inches against the fabric that already seemed warm and homely by default just from being dressed around his fleshy loveable skin. Another troubled neigh left his lips as he head eased downward with that emotionally vulnerable trouble on his tense features so precious and begging for guidance that it made you weak to take in his unapologetic humanity.

"Thank you."

A nonchalant shrug while his expression turned away again, if only for the distraction of whatever significant connection emotionally could have occurred from the conversation. If his always distracted actions gave nothing else away, it was that he was always fearful of whatever way the sudden intimacy would hit him, even though the fabrication of his previously tightly wrought attempt at covering of wounds had been far stretched and unwanted.

The truth was, Bojack was terrified, He had had properly breathed through the natural journey of your intimacy, and he had tasted in his own twisted heart that had been demeaned to completion of a complete corrupted twist of the way he saw things, and though somewhere he knew that the way the world taught him was unnatural and didn't agree with the proper way things have been the way all natural natures that both follow and haunt people do, he went along with it regardless.

Enough to the point where he would avoid it even now, even long after the patterns and the attempt of healing him through those believes were far from making sense. But habit was a drug as much as anything Bojack had ever taken through his perceived, easily catered, good looking well enough life-and just like any drug, it both gave the relief while taking away the deeper craving at the same time. But more significant than any of that; he was addicted to it.

The point of you loving Bojack was not to get to any destination with him, not any change or attempt in the abrasive and inhuman ways many people were polluted by the world to now grip people as tightly as they could and force them into their own personal view of nonexistent submission. It was relentlessly human, gentle and breathing and offering the room to not only have the freedom to be himself, but to have it be celebrated and, the simplest but most complicated concept that his addled mind would always be coming to terms with; deeply cherished and loved, even fawned and worried over.

There was no point; what the both of you shared when Bojack allowed it to happen was that it was something that simply was in all of its intimate messy perfected beauty, and you both were attracted to each other's essence like a physical inevitable need.

The concept of a point of anything was an inherently jaded and hardened concept, the philosophy in and of itself missing the end of whatever action or anything at all led to; unknown at best, nothing at worst, and within that did the both of you feel through how you loved each other that there was a wisdom that had come to thrive between you that what you shard simply was, and the best way to live in existence as much as either of you could have offered was to feel and experience simple for the sake of it, the same way existence had its inherent lack of consent, yet people did it; what you shared was something from another earth entirely, and was full of a natural capacity and want to guide and offer strength and joy and hope to one another any day in whatever way it was needed in response to the overall fairly unpredictable ways of the human mind and life.

In many ways Bojack had fallen to being a slave the majorty of his life, not to money or even to work or boredom or alcoholism, but rather the idea that there was a certain way or rule to exist, a miserable routine he needed to follow in order to chase some strange contruct people had made that they called peace. Peace did exist, but it wasn't in suffocated ideas of the imaginary idea of accomplishment or the suffocating routine many feel into despite not wanting it; it was to realize that he needed to adjust every day to whatever different need he had that day, carefree according to the invitely of ever changing nature, rather than to fall into the same identity time and time again in the guise that routine and the mundane comfort of it was somehow was thought to give.

For him, it had been the familiarity of feeling defeated and being a cynical drunk. For you, an unseen and easily swept around average nothing. On nights like this, both of those opposites came together and faced the superficiality of the people about to sweep in through their own narrative of what made up a life-and all at the hand of the adorable and lost impulsivity of the physical and emotionally unpredictable the same that made up Bojack's made.

Bojack's heavy eyes flicked back and forth under his eyelids, the same way he ever did whenever he was at war with himself. His hand raised up as he indicated his gesture towards you.

"Outside of me, I mean." The dilation and insecurity in his eyes sped up in its inherent pacing as he thought. "The needing company part."

There was a pause from you end of the conversation. The only interruption that came across your clear deep consideration was the hum of the fridge that came from across the kitchen as your hands threaded against his clothes that already by default felt savory and gentle just by being clad around his body, fashing throughout hot and cold throughout the night due to his emotional swings.

"I wouldn't say what I have with you would go under the category of company."

Bojack's erratic and distant foggy eyes were threaded away from the distant panic he was in, though if it were to truly be felt in the intimate way you did with him it would have been felt as what it truly was; the deepest kind of erratic but hesitant heart wanting to make a clear understanding of how to execute it as such for the first time in his life, when he had been led with the narrative of everyone that surrounded him that he couldn't.

"Yeah?"

"It's something beyond relationship. You rejuvenate me, give life to me, in a way that suprasses understanding or anything I could ver do justice or even come close to describing in a way that's satisfying."

You pasted as the refrigerator hum eased into that space that held an emotional weight and nostalgia that went beyond any compact understanding, and more beautiful more than you knew could be understood or held if felt to its full weight of the human truth of life that you experienced in loving Bojack that didn't held an inherent sadness, but it was the complexity of the heaviness of profound emotional weight that all of life carried that you experienced through seeing him, and that was all either of you needed. It was, frankly, what either of you could stand to taste.

Bojack laughed again, his eyes turned down from his expression as he considered the words.

"Shit." His head turned to you, a hint of a curve on his expression as his lip raised up to look at you. It was the most worthwhile thing you would ever know. He gave a shrug, small and almost shy, knowing he was out of his league of emotional covering of understanding, though he hardly knew how to control the temptation and resounding feeling of falling into it. "I've never heard anything like that before." His eyes turned down, dimness meeting the tender melancholy. "From anyone."

Your hand squeezed his arm, and his head titled downward in that heavy way while the exhaust polluted his eyes. For all the exhaust you were feeling from his end, and the unpredictable emotional walls you knew you would no doubt slam against in the most unexpected ways throughout the night such as it was with the way someone who had that particularly wretched wiring in his brain who had grown up without love and without even knowing what that meant, you felt a strength in it regardless; if even because of his flaws that had ultimately constructed a life far more diverse and interesting than of someone who had bene the bland shape and mold of what people expected others to be to have a quality life. Bojakc had had that exceptional humanity to him, or maybe everyone did and the fate of his misfortune upbringing had caused the grace that had led him to his life that, though excessively empty and inhuman in the ways that counted, had at least give him the tools that had allowed him to navigate life that otherwise would have destroyed him mercilessly otherwise.

"We have to start somewhere, right?"

"I guess we do." His fingers nervously scratched on his wrist. "Need start somewhere."

He said with his low toned consideration, as if trying to roll the words through his tongue to find the meaning of them, and you found that want of morality but being too lost to find it more tender than you could take. Your hand found his nervously scratching fingertips and with a squeeze of your hands did it press on his in a grounding way both of your sickly lost natures needed.

You breathed deep, trying to offer the reset that the both of you need. Bojack's own heavily lidded eyes turned to you in question, ears lowered back and eyes questioned in their own foggy exhaust of the battle of his own head and the existence that certainly did nothing to deter it.

"There's that exhaustion I knew you were harboring inside of you this entire time." He nudged you, gently, in the way that two people who had long since lost their zest to the annoying degree people with more hope harbored, though he still had that playful carefreeness in his eyes despite it all. "Where is this thread of conversation taking us now?"

You indicated your head to the phone lying half thought of on the counter. Bojack's head turned, stoic guidance in his face as you followed your pattern; anything to keep him from feeling that abraisveness lostness inside of him that you knew he was so afraid of despite the richness he was capable of.

"Before we drink ourselves to death both with this type of conversation."

He pointed his finger up. "As well as booze."

"How long until someone shows up?"

Boajck's head turned to you, sarcasm dressed in his almond deep eyes that had the power to build and destroy you both at the same time. "That's what you're worried about? After all that?"

You hummed in that amused and half laughter way, leaning forward to graze your lips against his cheek. He didn't fall into it right away; his frustrations were genuine. Your hand squeezed on his wrist, and through those small intimacies did you feel him falling into you despite his cobweb of entitlement above you and self hatred for it, everything that made him a painful lover of wanting to love deeply and profoundly, in that ironic way that caused you to love him more for all the logical reasons of why he shouldn't, and in some ways didn't want to be. But as it was in the warm and natural dynamic between the two of you that flowed through any conflict or terrible thought, he leaned against you, soft neigh leaving his lips in rasped exhaust as you felt his muscles relax slightly in that impossible relief known as human connection.

"I barely know who ever managed to cut through that wall you built up enough that it would make you want to do this. For anyone, in general."

His tired eyes turned upward from the puffiness of his bags. "Glad I established that clearly."

"I'm just saying I know you. You know that."

Bojack sighed, head tilted down along with ears lowered in his gentle and melancholic helpless fashion. In that action was there the admittance to the weakness that had been ripped open for him that had been caused by your tenderness,, and every time was it reminded in his preferred hidden pain of not being known-but he fell apart every time he was reminded that he was.

"Ok. Well-"

His palm reached up in front of him as he gazed down at the chubbiness of his palm, eyes squinted in thought, taking any physical distraction to help him with his erratic thought process. He gave a shrug.

"It's not that fascinating."

"You know how I am."

Your hand caressed his arm and he laughed disquietly, his own admittance towards knowing, even if he didn't know how to understand or comprehend it in a front forward quality yet."Everything from you is my energy."

"Jesus." There was a softness in his eyes at your words, though the conflict took the majority of his emotion, the same way it always did for any given person, especially someone like Boajck, who was gradually wretched from the narratives of the pollution of the world. "I don't know." Complacent bewilderment and exhaust inhabited his eyes further as his expression turned upward into hollowing discontent that was made clear from his dilated drunken eyes, oddly handsome in his own tormented wretched fashion that reminded you that his flaws were your allure, as he raised his expression and looked distantly forward. "That weird gerbil man that I kept seeing stumbling around the marketplace every morning when I went to get the milk that I drank too much of whenever we ran out."

He chuckled, the words amassed with his own deep chuckled amusement in his rasp as his sparkle eyes turned to you. He was always extensively expressive, emotion coming fully into his expression at any point in a way that sowed off just how enriching he with his emotions, even if subdued denial followed the majority of them.

"He looked so pathetic that I had to invite the guy over. For something. If nothing else just to get the place a little but relaxed on its own for a little while." His ears splayed out as he shook his head while his other hand gripped the back of the counter. "Jesus, that man did not know what way was left or right that day. I've heard celebrities like that stumbling around high off of their cocaine and not being able to see left from right but seeing it in person was hilarious!"

He shook his head in his vague and easily triggered impulsive superficial amusement.

You smiled as your lips rested on his shoulder.

"Despite the way you talk, I know you did it for good intentions."

Boajck lifted up his eyebrows to you, cockily heated in his drunken fashion as hhis cocky disposition met you with another cocky laugh.

"Despite the way I talk? C'mon. There's nothing wrong with having a laugh at a guy like that."

"I just know that what other people would just see an asshole, I know that you did it because in some way, despite the superficial culture that surrounds you you knee there would be some kind of long term reward to it. Even if you didn't understand or believe it or know what it was. You acted on it anyway, and that's an incredible thing to act one. Especially if you can't see the end reward to it."

Bojack's eyes lowered into a somber caution. It quickly dressed itself as dry sarcasm as he turned his head around and picked up the bottle waiting behind him. Raising it by it's neck with his hand, he indicated the bottle over to you.

"Hey there, superstar. Save the philosophy for another time. If a guy has a name and started stumbling around like that you can bet that he asked for it. He can thank me for at least giving him a live appulse for it."

"When was this? A few days ago?"

Bojack shrugged nonchalantly.

"Maybe about a week? I was out a little tipsy myself-and before you say anything, yes I know there's hypocrisy in that. But I don't care." His voice lowered into a low toned defense as he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a swing, wiping it off with his wrist as he blew away some of the dribble. "Least I was put together enough not to have it attract every given horny woman stumbling around the area and whoever had a camera out." He winked at you, lazily, the attempt at being savvy seeming at odds with the puffy plump exhausted wear on his face that suggested a much less cooler, dignified, or self reassured mindset. "Am I right?"

"I don't get what the joke is." Your eyes traced the side of the lifted bottle as annoyance took Bojack's features while he lifted the bottle back against his lip again. He took something between a exapshered breathe and a belch as his dry, somehow always light with intelligent eyes turned back to you, this time with one of those closed from the taste.

"Thee is no-" He waved his hands in exasperation. "Actual joke, ok?" His eyes sped up in the white of the sea of his dilated chaotic almond pupils as he gave a shrug. As he became more restless under the influence of the alcohol, so did his detached expression, and his mane became more black and full of a disorganized array right along with whatever little put together idea for himself he had. "I just wanted to dress up the narrative to show that even I, drunk Bojack, could see how much that guy had lost his shit." Another awkward, cocky and somehow apologetic laugh all at once as his eyes squinted up. "Takes a lot to achieve that."

"Did you end up getting the booze?"

Bojack winced as he turned and gazed at you in question, teeth poked out in defiance."What?"

"The booze." You indicated your head to the sloosh of the rest he had left; he shook his head a few inches as he handed it over to you as you took it in your grasp. "The day was a success?"

"Oh." His eyes turned down as he scratched the side of his neck. Whether he intended, wanted it or not, the effects of his body's natural discontentment of any substances alluding to his physical addictions were making their way to the forefront. "Well-no, actually. Due to the..too drunk part."

Your eyes lifted up in your teasing, but ultimately tender, knowing mid swing as his exasperated dry eyes turned to you, fingertips only scratching with more exasperation against the side of his neck that must have left a scratched up sore by now from the amount of times he picked on it. You could see the way his brawny skin was chipping in certain areas from the amount of times he settled from scratching against the chip of his skin in his own constant discontent and troubelement. You put the bottle down as you heard the large pop that came along with taking it away from your lips, turning as you settled it down and onto the counter. Your hand caressed against his shoulder and Boajck settled for turning his head down as his eyes closed, letting out a soft layered breath as he did so.

"Yeah, ok. I was a drunk asshole and I spewed out a couple of swears at the guy who was also being a meth head asshole. We're both rich, so its fine. It's not like it's a rich coming after the poor. And when it was clear he was drinking too much, or taking too much meth, whatever bullshit you want to call it, I thought 'hey, let's make this a cute little thing.' So I did. After that morning earlier when I had all of the alcohol in the morning to start off my day and then someone drank the rest and thus gave me a purpose for the rest of that morning." He raised up his hand abruptly as you opened your lips to respond. "Ok-bababba-stop. Ok, I drank the rest that morning. Due to the fact that I drank it all the milk overnight that was the only thing to help me sleep."

You paused as your eyes turned down while your lips settled against his shoulder again. It was the perfect place for where you could express any unpleasant emotion toward him while still keeping your promise guided against his own that you weren't going anywhere, the promise that there was always that unconditional feel despite whatever content the conversation might lead.

"So I went up to the guy and said, 'hey, man, you want to come back my place soon and we can both do this in a play that dosen't suck with a bunch of non-famous losers like in this shithole?'" Bojack gave a shrug the accompany his story. "Of course the guy turns up at me with his smushed little whiskers face and gives me that little figgy headed blink, and the he slowly nods. Pause scene, end credits."

He waved his hand in front of his dilated eyes, then turned his back to you, body still swaying as he gave a shrug of his shoulders. "And now here we are."

You smirked as your lips caressed on his shoulder. He eased against your body, ears lowered as his eyes dimmed in their light at whatever doubt might have followed from recounting the story. Whatever Bojack did, it usually came with some account of regret or doubt in some way that refused to leave him alone. He suspected everything he did usually came with some extension of an unforgiving punishment for the other or himself, whether intended or not. It was the unforgiving pattern of the way of things, and the fragility of his own air that followed his clumsy and admittedly flawed but ultimately well meaning attempts didn't stifle his exhaustion at how much the decision and the unwanted aftermath affected him and anyone around him.

"I'm glad you did."

His head turned to you. "Yeah?"

"I think you're right. He probably did need it." Your cheek pressed against his shoulder into a rhythm of a pattern. "Us, too."

Bojack's eyes dimmed into dry exhaust as his eyes turned downward. "I don't know." His voice was somber, reflective as he spoke. "What's the point if there's the guarantee that it won't work out or that he'll just end up using it against you in some way later once he spins a narrative that it's wrong somehow." His eyes turned up in dim anticipation. "Usually what happens at some point."

"Well, it hasn't happened yet." Your kissed the side of his shoulder. He turned as he looked up in question as your hand eased with a slight caresses against him before eased your body off of his.

"You want to finish this bottle before anyone shows up and tests whatever might or might not happen?"

His eyes flicked in his conflicted thought for a moment, ears flickering right along with the consideration in his eyes that was both pathed to follow your thought, despite whatever erratic way he had to follow his own disarrayed area of wherever his headspace brought him in his unpredictable patterns.

"Do you think it was good?" He scratched nervously on the side of his neck, chipping away the patterns of where his nervous fingertips were bugging at the chipping old skin as you flicked your fingertip against the bottle. "To invite him over?"

You turned to the bottle, a detached smile on your expression, mostly one of foggy thought of trying to lead him on the path that wouldn't be the equivalent to overthinking; if there was anyway that could happen, and the answer was different every coming day. You saw his eye lower into unimpressed dryness at the lack of your response.

"You know the longer you go without saying anything the more I'll be able to think of reasons in my own brain the answer why."

"Judging others, whether good or bad, doesn't feel good inherently for most people, because it means then that we're complacent in our purpose."

Boajack's ears flicked in annoyance. "I wasn't judging the guy. I felt bad for him, and, maybe, admittedly, felt a little like I saw myself in him and wanted to see what would come out of me trying to get a rise out of him." His eyelids lowered as you turned pointedly; not on intention, just as a physical reaction that was in the physical form of a question of what he meant. "In a good way. In the boring way." He waved his hand dismissively. "Not in the exciting getting yourself caught up in the subjects of losers and the interests of more uneventful people kind of way."

"I didn't mean you were judging him."

"Sorry. Must have misinterpreted the word 'judging'."

He eased himself off of the side of the counter, wincing slightly as his hand reached back and eased against his back. He turned as his ears flicked up in want at the slosh of the bottle that was resting in subconscious thought in the grapes of your hand. His eyes indicated up to you in question. Without any needed form of any further communication did his hand pressed on your grasp on it as his hands caressed against the side of your palm, while he gazed down at the liquor and took it into his hand. Your palms found their natural palace by the chubby brawny mold of his arm again as your palms ghosted against his skin while he swing his head back, slight troubled rasped breath leaving his senses as he eased the bottle against his lip and threw it backward, an inherent dreaded guilt coming across his expression before relief found his heavy dim eyes and the puffy bags under his eyes as he eased the bottle away from his lips and took a breath.

"I'm convinced, and I don't know this but I'm speaking from my observation of you and how much I've come to want to protect you as best as I can-and observing anyone in general, really-"

Bojack turned his head to the side as his eyes winced while the liquor overtook him. There was a drunken sway of uncertainty in his eyes underneath the coat of what you knew was a fond warmth for the words of your intimacy and partnership that you spoke, a caution of whether or not he should allow himself to fall into it fully. The swaying of his body only added to the natural tormented sophisticated narrative that made up his body, loveable and fragile and resoundingly tormented in doubt all at the same time that made him a lovable but horribly tragic, black tinted desperation of a story of never knowing where the story would end in regards to its unrelenting torment; if it ever would, and you with your promise you had made with the love you wanted and were desperate to give him and yet you knew there was also the frustrations of human boundaries of the amount you could handle, a frustrating and inevitable tie compared to the idea that you knew you would welcomingly and willingly succumb fully into the tender warmth of his stout fingertips and warm chubby palms now and the natural feeling of your body against his intimacy, regardless of whatever side effects occurred. They were insignificant compared to the human reward of bond that only came from a lifetime of suffering to find where the warmth of where he was now, and that understanding that came from two broken people that had spent a lifetime alone in a specific kind of way-and it wasn't as if he wasn't perfectly contrived to be your type away, with the natural clumsy tenderness of his body and the fragility of the flick of his ears and that permanent resounding breathing wet authentic tired human look of his sad eyes that somehow only become more tormented, rather than less, regardless of whatever path he took.

"I think what truly feels good isn't comparison to others. It just follows you naturally, the good action of how things should happen. You just feel it when you're doing the right thing. Doing the action of what feels good to what we were made for on this earth, regardless of whether it has a louder or a quieter ripple."

"Quieter." His drunken, multiple wrinkled carved and puffed eyes turned down to the empty bottle. His mane was spewed out in a multiple strain of directions. "Right. Because that will make a difference in the loud noise that makes up the world and everyone in it that would do anything they wanted as long as it felt good, made them look good, or had no other repercussions there was anything else going on otherwise."

Your eyes searched his. The almond torment of the squint of the fight in his laden eyes and the almond black depth of them, the erratic lostness and the natural human bred insanity that came along with such needs not being met; and somehow, there lied the most warm dynamic and set of home you had ever felt.

"How do you know that?"

He squinted in insult as his fingers gripped his chest, ears lowered in defiance.

"Because I know. Because I am that guy."

You breathed as your hand guided onto the chubbiness of his palm, grazing your fingertips as it created a space between his hand and the bottle as he continued to sway and watch you with that defiant light in his eyes; or the attempt of it, but despite everything, there was a natural incredible sfotness, precisouness in him that the both of you had felt every coming day and the light of the notagailia that made up the moirnings we spent curled up in the mundnaity of the sweat of your cheeks in the morning with his body pressedagsint you clumsy after making love to you while you slept; both of your own compromise towards his want for your physical comfort in his insomnia and the therapy it gave you through the purity of it while he made love to your most vulnerable state; one of the more precious parts of your bond that spoke Bojack;s gradual build up of trust in himself, and the extension he gave to you and what you gained from his gradual touch meant for you that somehow healed you from experiencing it the more he believe in it.

"It doesn't matter."

His eyes, handsome in that wonky way, lowered.

"All the stats of the past of my life would say that it does."

"Every time is different."

His ears flicked. "Is it?"

Your lips raised into a smile, meeting your eyes; you could tell from the way Bojack's seemed to ease down from a lack of defense, both from himself and for you, as his eyes eased down into the softness that met yours an was reflected in the slight ease he had from whatever resistance or inner fight was haunting him otherwise.

"It feels so good to us with what we're experiencing first hand to know that it's nothing less than us responding to the purpose we were made for that's greater than our understanding. I think you felt it that day, and I'm proud of you for acting on it."

"Pround." His dry eyes turned to the liquor. "We'll see about that, I guess."

You felt his cynical resistance affect you, but you kept speaking anyway; you knew the way your dynamic worked that it was required for you to allow him to be as he was and for you to be as you were in order to get to a place of agreed understanding that eventually blossomed into beauty that was one of those same components that also transcendence understanding, even for you; that was where its sweetness lied.

"Our only way to understand it is to simply do it, and how good it fools and how it saves us from torment is the unspoken answers it gives us. Whatever bullshit narrative or whoever else says whatever else in regards to whoever might make that more complicated-it doesn't matter."

He chuckled, ironically, though the natural detest he had didn;t meet his authentic vulnerable wet eyes.

"A lifetime of feeling like it does might say otherwise."

You breathed in gently. Despite his edged tone that suggested his unwavered cynicism, his eyes turned up, soft in their hesitant genetless as he met yours, a contradiction of both jaded and intimating in their edged charismatic abrasiveness and the softness form of helpless against a the wreckage of the world.

Another swing of the bottle, despite the clear fact that there was little to nothing left; he was doing it for the physical comfort of doing it at this point. His ears splayed as his expression met yours again, lips lifting up into his uncertain and timid but ultmrlalry well intended attempted gentle grin. He lifted up his bottle to you in a guide of agreement, uncertain but with the want of his own timid intention behind it that was always just as mssily executed as much as it was understood, but that had never stopped you from feeling it the same wy he had his longing complication for giving it.

"Cute, though." His distant eyes turned down to you hand as it grazed on his hand with your fingrs threading through the spaces of his that was pressed against the stickiness of the bottle. "The attempt at th philosophy of it, I mean."

There was a switch to how the air of the moment, and somewhere in it was the agreement that whatever answer you were trying to ease out of him and whatever narrative he ws hesitant to admit, if there even was one or it was even tangible in any coherent understanding, it wasn't something to be found in the speciifec conversation tonight. This moment was for his cocky disawayed eyes and the heavy lowering of his drunken eyelids and the messy array of his disassocaited detached air and for the embodiemnt of what that meant for the both of you, not meant to be understood, but feltin that wamr and passing way that came across with the never ending question that came along wth the inner discovering of human emotion and intimacy that he had inspired out of you in a specific human way that was lager than life.

"Well." You leaned forward as your lip pressed on the chubbiness of his hand. Bojack's eyes searched yours with his wet compelled look of curiosity tha always followed that odd puririty in his eyes that never went anywhere as your eyes snapped upward, leaning into a strain of a smile as you squeezed his hand and brought it back down with the intimacy of the squeeze of your touch. "I'm sure we'll find out with these men who you invited over tell us tonight."

Bojakc chcukled, eyebrow rasied into a quiz of his own challenge as tha cocky playful squint entered his eyes.

"You bet. These assholes are all over any excitment they can get." He turned his head down, letting out a slight rasp of a breath as his hand found the upper part of his forehead, hand grazed agaaisnt the white diamond of his palm as his fingertips threaded through the spread tips of his black hair while his fingertips threaded through it as his eyes squinted in his troubeeld druken thought. "The guy was totally stumbling over his feet. Seemed like he wasn't even coherent." He shrugged as his detached expression turned to the side, subconsciously focused on the floor for want of any kind of focus. "He seemed-not well in the head, but he was clearly on a stimulant of some kind from the way the idiot was slurring his words. When I asked him if he wanted to come over to my house he just looked at me and said, 'Bojack, you wouldn't believe it, but I have a wife.' He said it with this celebration all over his face like it ws this grant statement. His eyes were foggy anf he didn't seem…entirely present, to put it civilly. When I asked the guy what he meant he just started stumbling and laughing to himself and asked me the details."

Your fingers had found their contentment caressing his hand. "Did you give it to him?"

Bojack's eyes turned to you as his conflicted breath left his lips. "If you count making up a bunch of shit that seemed like it wasn't made up on the spot, then yes, I put it right in the guy's face."

You paused as that detached smile grace your lip again while the dry edge of your eyes turned up and met the dilated sosphciated of the battelemnt of his own expression without any cause of grounding, and somehtiing about that chaotic impulsivity he possessed without being gorunded by the act of what people believed was ciclivation and the thought hat it was inheirnelty worth something nd he almost childlike imspsusliivty of his desperation for relief, hollowing and unforigivng and heavy but free and true to what was actually going on with him instead of a foggy denial that led to a boring and comcplacne personality that affected and haunted so many was enough to make his already physically modeled conflicted grace that much more compelling and attractive and alluring even more than it already was by default.

Your eyes turned downward as your fingertips threaded and squeezed against the chubby tenderness of his own palm that rested on against your subconscious grounding in the middle of Bojack's sweated discomfort, and, admittedly, the sweeping of your own lack of perception of awareness from the alcohol that had allowed the house to sway over your perception more than the walls you associated with the richness of what Bojack made you feel in and of himself in his own accidently wrought and comfortability messy mundanity made you feel in that sense that transcended understanding, and even more so transcdned any worldly caprtruing of it; both a frustrating and yet a consistently life and meaning handed thing.

"I'm glad you did. I think we could all use it."

"Yeah." A chuckle and a laugh left Bojack's lips, more full of his admittance of his doubt more than anything elese as his eyes that were slightly sunken into his aged and exhausted wear of his expression guidided onto his aged and bloated cheeks, timid but wanted cocky expression and the contradicitions of it flashing across his expression right along with that oddly permanently pained hue of the neeon flash of the pool. "Let's go with that before the party parade comes in and everyone starts tripping over themselves getting into this space we call ditarctions from whatever their empty lives and their wives save them from."

You smirked as you pressed further onto the plush welcome of his body, surreal and made evn more with that inereint nosgstalia of broken longing he meant for you even without the melcolcohy of the agreement of it that came from what surrouended him.

"Where is all this coming from?"

"The statements?" His eyelids lowered as he met your questioning ones, and he gave that same indifferen shrug, though as it was with all things with Bojack there was far more comcplciation wanted even in the smallest admittance of any given action. "Guess that's what happens when you overthink all night instead of sleep."

You smied. Tenderly, agreeable, with the want of guidance to help him through encouragement; it felt too natural to do anything otherwise, and there was an agreement in every way that occurred that it felt far too good to stop, regardless of whatever narrative or negative side affect may have come form it. That was the way of things with human nature; even when side effects were negative, they were ultimeley worth whatever trade off came from the worthwhile essence. "Hopefully they'll be on the same page."

Bojack's eyes squinted, ears lowered back timidly. "Is that a hopeful thing?"

"Same page, less conflict. Right?"

"I wouldn't worry about that." His fingertips found their cascade against the chipping of his neck again as he scratched in his nervous fashion with that dry glint in his eyes that spoke of his lack of impression of how easily people fell into sin. "These guys are on the same page if they were stumbling around with their delusional modern stimulants every night-and at the farmer's market, or the supermarket, whatever the place was called. Was too drunk to remember, which is exactly the point."

There were very few statements Bojack ever made were there wasn't an extension of his own conflicted loathing, like multiple shouts coming from a different array of his troubdldled mind, behind it. Your hips found the plush curve of his body that was met against the train of his clothes as your body eased onto his, arms threading against him as you pulled your intimacy further rinto him. Your hand adjusted from where it was rested against his palm and he followed accordingly with his arms naturally ghosting their way agaisnt yours until the top of your head mt under his snout, his raspy breath leaving his lips as he rested the top of his head onto yours and pulled you in.

"The best things come out of messes and places where there seems like the last thing to occur would be a good thing."

"You know from experience?"

"I do." Your hand caressed against the top of his hand as your fingers let go of their previous entagelemtn agaisnt his skin while he sighed a rapsy breath of exhaust, though there was a settlement of appreciation within it where previously, you knew just from the narratives he showed you now and then from his person just from being who he was that had made up the erratic display of a messy and, above all, unloved life, had been empty chaos. "I have the best part of where the aimless, repulsive chaos brought me to with me right now."

A gentle, hesitant breath from his lips as he chuckled gently, though there was still a dryness towards his lack of full embodiment of belief or even action towards that belief that allowed him anything other than a bluntly stated;

"Very cute."

Bojack adjusted under form as he fet you ease against him with an intimacy that, although permenalty exhausted from two wear and worn hearts both from the failures of what either of you had managed to give yourselves as well as from any other outward forth of a world that had been paved for modeing of deconstruction rather than soothing, took place between his chubby arms that rested against your hips. Throughout the months of how you had come to love one another, or at least the gradual chipping away of what Bojakc was gradually accepting was a genuine plant of something rather than only the idea of it or the cheap mimic of it like he had played inot and what his previous partners certainly had only been without any hope of their bodies and the superficiality of their minds and the contentment of what it had been made up of and of who they were to the point that that was all they were; only reflections of spiritual and relationship complacency with very little to any known flexibility or even reach for it outside of that, had been chipped away into the understanding of the change that was the most natural way it had ever come about in his life, rather than from shouted haded upright words of politics or the suffcosted and forced rule throwing and force known as the complication of thrown throes and rules of fame.

"It is cute." Your words breathed against the brawny hue of his chest as his own chubby wrist cramped and caressed on your back. In a world and species, in general, that had been perfectly constructed to be the hesititnat listener to any given person in general, to offer plenty of energy to the soulless acitvtiy but never towards any narrative to do with the actual person or what made them who they were, were people were borna nd died to be relefections of people's superficial reactions and uncaring projections more than anything else,it felt like an extension of Boajck's relief to feel even the general sentiment of it as your words hung in the neon lit sotness of the kitchen that hd been made up of Boajck's conflcied and toruebeld nights and even more exhausted morirnings, witht he ache o his bones and the puffy bloated laden of his eyes and the deep rasps of hsi moining tht had as many bare bone struckes of welcome into the same pattern of the day as much as any, but even that had been met with a ceteran kind of kidness of coziness and gentleness specific only to Boajck's own antyrally born laden and soft disposition and the domenstcation of it that you had been aware of since the start, regardless of wahetevr reputation followd him that insisted otherwise. "I hope we continue being lucky enough that we're ableto continuing teaching one another to be able to find it."

Boajck paused, though his hand that caressed in its few inches against your back in his own hesitant and conflicted, yet self reassured and charming way, a contradiction only someone with as chaotic of an upbringing as much as Bojack had been brought into, was as much as would be expected.

"Me too." His chin guided as it caressed on the top of your head. "I want that, too."

Your eyes closed a syou both allowed yourself that hiccup of softness, profound genetlessnes that seeed somehow both natural boyish but also parental in that complicated way that Bojack had a endecy of being. Meaning wasn't impossible to find nor did it not exist, but it seemed impossible the majaorty of the time for the average stumbling lost person who had the poteional of profound genius, but very little if any way of being able to find it or to refine themselves enough to mold themselves into it, much less in a satisfying and easily reconginzable manner every time. Bojack was the most natural and at ease at you finding that, simply from the thought of how you had come to memorize him; it wasn't a whimsical or naive thought buried in wish rather than fact of reality of how things were like so many attempt at hopeful narrative for things were but rather simply that you had finally found who had brought that natural gift solely from existence.

And you both knew it, even the tormented man that, despite how obvious it was how unforgivingly real his torment forced him to be as certain kind of person that dressed that alays busy but very seldom content city lights and business of Los Angeles and its traffic of splayed of rushing people and quick fluttering mascara laden eyes and pucked fattened lips, of men with their equally quick and daily monotned and chubbed up words that found cantonment in having a hand shoved up their ass for their carees without ever putitng into any effort into deep digging or knowing what that meant, even for themselves that Bojack had been forced to become the transformtion fo a version of whether he liked it or not, could still feel the deepest thread of the desperation of the timid lover and even more uncertain and quick to attentive desperation of tenderness that came to the forefront of who he was on any given day, whether intended or not. No matter how much he wanted to be saved by believing he could be that superficial asshole and be content with an empty life like the rest of where that would inevitably lead, that determinant in those compelling exhausted, tired and almond deep eyes and cut protruding bags met with the compelling boyishnes in that charismatic gaze that seemed beyond the world both in suffering from his tender hear that had been burdened with more than it could take from the start gave him away, no matter what narrative of story or otherwise would be following him or the want of it, which he seemed to almost always carry in his own way. He was fragile enough as it was even on his his successfully cocky laden day whenit seemed as if he pretended alongwith everyone else to the point where he could proclaim he had done everything right; as in, he ad done what he was told he needed to do for the day in order to be worth something, in order to feel good about himself. But Boajck couldn't escape himself, and in his case he was a victim of his precpetion and emotional incessant intelligence that had led him, in his own comcplciated wretched heart to walk up tot he stumbling cocaine ridden red eyed man that had beena reflection of the ulaimte meaningless emptiness of the city that seemed like it was eating itself from the inside out. He had, the same way he did on any given day that had made up his exhausted and conflicted heart, felt that emotional wisdom that he carried but like most, refused to believe in that he could execute it into genuine action, save for those afternoons when he did allow himself to act on that predisposition want of executing relief towards someone who was a reflection of the emptiness of existence despite whatever fragile fight he had never wanted or were made to bear had tried to put up with to begin with that went along witht he comfortability of the label he had messily slapped on as 'superficial asshole'.

"I could tell what guy was playing that cute game that us too successful for own own good drunks like to play."

Boajck's voice was grated with the alcohol. Your head turned up, gazing at him in your own easily laden drunk insecuirty as his own cocky gaze turned down to meet your question, full with that natural congested cocky emotion that followed his baggy laden and protruded wrinkled and puffy eyes.

"You want to tell me?"

"It's the one where you try to fill up the empty spaces of your day before you freak out from how empty it is. If you come up with just enough bullshit actitvties to fill up your days that make you feel like you had a reason to get up in the morining, even if and especially including of its stumbling to the marketplace drunk, you get points for not feeling like a wasted failure of someone that you so clearly are and that, if lucky enough to tbe put in the right places of people's perception, they will so happily bluntly tell you."

Your hands squeezed the spaces of his fingertips. Bojack breathed out a sigh, ars rocked against your his as his snout eased on the top of your head, the aftermath of his exhaustion after his teasing but tired amusement of the description of the equal man's weariness.

"How many times have you won that?"

"Never."

Your head turned up as you eased your chin against Bojack's as his dry eyes turned down to you. "It's just the idea of it that's nice tot hink about. Especially before you get yourself properly woken up mentally, realize you've already lost for the day, and then settle on back to the warm, disgusting narrative that there's been another thing won for the day, and hey, it's not you, but rather you were the one that was already won over. But-even just the general idea of it can be enough to keep you going, even if you can't even hope to meet it. At least it gives you a good construct of the day, even if you're far from being able to meet it, or even close.

"You're too good for that."

"Right."

A pause, and any of all the emotional conflictioned you needed was there. Bojack was someone who had long since been lost in his own version of dread at the idea of the person he was and had always been; just upright and just flashy enough in the interval of human cockiness an sin that came along with the want and the achievement of greatness, melded in with his own hyper familiarity with hismelf that he was stuck in the mind and skin of since he had been a boy, the knowing reflection of every attempt he had ever made for himself always landing on unimpressive invsisvility like evert given attempt of the average, him being the only exception; except the voice to thread him out of that loathing hadn;t come from his own achievement, but someone elses' voice of who told him who that was, and he had tripped right alon with it in his desperation to be told ans proven he was worth something, anything at all, especially after a lifetime of being in a loud world of busy and polluted fame brained people who were wired to oew nothing anything, and his own person, not having done anything wrong from the start, had been forced to take anything he could to give him any love or eve just the mockery of it towards his person, wise enough to be cynical as to know what was wrong, but too human to act on it in any way that would ever offer beenit and rednerign him as helpless as the rest, and his natural inner wisdom passed away as unseen in a world that made it clear in its lazy selfieness that missed the point of its own exiietnce taht it owed him nothingor anyone else, despite the excessive regards that would have come from it from both aprirites, but the world wasn't so wise at all and it een actitvey took away the wiseodm of those who were who wee more ovetrakn by their desperation for human connection in their inherent humanity more than they were anything else, leaving the intelligenceof Boajck behind a facade of a brainless manchildren that never existed until his inseicityies had been flabbergasted to the forefront. The world owed him nothing, but Bojack would have gone made had he taken the emptiness that the world who took that narrative on the toll of its lazy shoulders of any narrative of unwise selfishness it could get and made him go mad from the nothingness almost all situations guaranteed for him, and on the other side of that, the clumsy laden actions that tripped up his timid but profound and natural graceful depth ridden steps of the person of a foolish nature he was forced to become just to get owed a taste of what it meant to taste that needs that the world had no problem depriving him, much less anyone esle, from, especially he lights of the very city that reflected against his dry and profound reflected eyes and the yellow lights of the city that reflected agsisn the almond depths of his that saw things as they were and for what they were, but never had the belief from anyone to put that inot reality, as most greatness in many people was; come and go beyond regonztion, even for themselves.

"It's not a wise thing to put too much hope or faith into anything that involves anyone seeing you. I guess. If that guy who was stammering over the idea of his wife seeing him was an indication of that. I mean, yeah, sure, part of the idea of ever getting anywhere, which is usually what the core of marriage is, is to see the problem and to try to do something about it until whatever you're solution makes you feel good enough that there's at least the feeling that you came up with a solution even if there's really anyone other than what people prescribe to it, where otherwise there's really just nonexistence- "

"Did you come up with this on your own?"

"Partly." A pause. "Yes. If you count how pathetic this man looked from the wife he wouldn't start blaring bout as inspiration. Never saw anyone who ever spat out their own cockiness for something supposedly so pure like that. So gross."

"What you said before-about it not being wise to put faith into anyone seeing you. Do you mean that, too?"

"As in, did I come up with it?" His ears flicked as his own lack of impression of the ccy cycism of the words met his own dry eyes; for all that he so easily denched himself into the belief of it, he still seemed to have enough wisedom to have a disgust towards the actual lifestyle of it. "Not on my own, It was a nice sentiment my dad taught me, though. On the days when he realize that no amount of putting your 'soul' into your work would guarantee anyone would ever give him a good lfie, because no matter how hard you work, if its based on the soul or emotions, nobody gives a shit, and the changes of anyone caring are-" He abruptly breathed, as if to restart himself. "Very slim." He snapped his arm in front of him in a gesture. "That was his nice speech after he forced me into a sit down on the couch after a long day of him coming to terms that no one in this world cares about hard work, just how you can cheat people into thinking you're someone worth caring about." His eyelids lowered as your head kept resed on his chest as he gazed at you with his sarcasm and recognition of how ridiculous things were. "Like me and my career, for example."

Your fingers sided and caressed on his hand; they had never ceased, and the more you did it the more your confidence grew into giving it to him and the more your confidence in his presence grew as a whole in general; where the world valued quick and snappy headspaces for the idea that it offered fulfillment and interesting lives, the soothing and increasingly deep nature the more it was dedicated to of truly being lost within the prescecne of another adn the contraction of it was where the genuine soothing humanity, and the prize of peace, lied.

"Can I be honest?"

"Can you be? Sure, as long as it's not too much for me to unpack before the Los Angeles parade starts dancing through our door. Now is as good a time any any, superstar." His eyes winced as he took the sloshing end of the whisky bottle, teeth poked out in his own disgust and the natural expression that took his features whenever he was emotionally overhwlemed or disgusted; in the context of your conversation, it could have been any. "Maybe before the braindead party shows up and makes us take a run for our money as far as the considering what the hell we're doing tonight occurs. That one is definitely not going to have an answer tonight-or ever, probably."

"I don't think anyone ever saw you. Not even close. There's a strnegh for you in that, the same way there's ever a strength for someone to either hide themsleves or feel they can support themsleves on their own without anyone telling them they can't or giving themsleves the summation they need others-but it's also worn on you. And I'm so sorry you had to do and go through this on your own."

There was a crack to your voice; had the two of you been less bonded in wha you shared, you knew Bojack would have settled for a quick jaded jab that was an extension of his lack of proper execution of his emotional intelligence. As it was, he ended up tensing as he rasied up one hand, eyes guided into a apologteic light in his wet and proudly sad and precioulsy insecure eyes as an natural apology of uncertainty took his expression.

"Whoa. Ok."

You laughed, if only to break up the thicken emotion tension. Your head turned down as Bojack's eyes, glimmered in all of their uncertainty, met your eyes as they eased down for a moment with a snap of a shake of your head. Your eyes were starting to burn, even for all the fight you would have wanted to not make Bojack uncomfortable more than it was worth for the both of you, as your eyes eased upward against from the extent of the edge of the increased burning of it. Bojack caught it, much to his unwanted timid admitrence, and another wall was broken in his in the light of his naturally pierced together fearful eyes as his expression watched yours.

"Uhm-uhm-"

The tenderness of his own uncernitny brought one another laugh, though tenderness was what followed as your eyes dimmed into a gentleness while guiding up into the light of his wet depth ridden yes, mostly to his own detriment.

"Don't worry about it." Your hand eased under your eye. There was no tear to catch, but it was moreso of your own sigh that you understood in that moment of just how intense this was for him and what he thought was occurring, and your acknowloegemtn that you understood and saw it for what it was and agreement with awkwardness and what that meant for the two of you; his own awkward trigger, and the overall scope of the impossibly small moment between two people who would be forgotten within their own humanity no matter how overpowering it was for the both of you, and yet, despite how incessantly and inocmprhensibly small the both of you were against the scope and expense of things, there was such a natural magenentic compulsion for the both of you to be drawn back to it anyway, to the center of what both of you up, despite every logical reason to not, just how despite Bojack's own deseperate attempt at knowing both of you would be, logically better off without he constant scrapped wounds he forced on the both of you through being who he was and as he was, the rerefeshment of doing the uncomfortable let the both of you to the same place of iniacmty again, the foolishness at the heart of the addiction to the uncomfortaibtulity of learning. "It's just something I felt the need to say. It's better to say it and to get it out than it is to keep it in for later drunken viewing, don't you think?"

Bojack's eyes dimmed as he took you in. He let out a breath of a whimpered desperation as his worried eyes turned to the counter, his hand snapping for the nearest tissue that had been casually thrown in the middle of the night that had been used to dress Bojack's bleeding hand when he had hit himself in the middle of the night against the sink while trying to, in the middle of his drunk stuperior, had tried to get his hand washed from what he could have sworn was his body laden in another woman's sweat from the nigth after waking up from holding you; it had turned out ot be nothing but a nightmare that had been a side affect of his conviction that he didn't desire the purity ofholding you at night, which led to an array of slurs and swears that showed of his clumsy fruition. By the time you had rushed to the sink and pressed the napkin on the bleeding wound he had settled for breathing deep as he tried to ward of the frustration, trouebeleld eyes meeting the bleeding wound as your intimacy had been his conflicted and clumsy actions and headspace the same until it had washed the furious hot run of the sink.

"Yeah, well, don't say to not worry about it and then proceed to show me the biggest example of 'worry about it' that i've seen since the last time Turteltaub tried to come up with a concept for a film."

You closed your eyes as the napkin met under your eye, you lips raised up as cantonment overcame you while Bojack's concentration met under your eye as he dabbed at with with, despite the shakiness of his palm, gave away his attempt at wanting to be tender and the almost impossible resistence he had to beind tender, despite how ti shiend and came through in his tone, his action, his word of mouth and even the natural chemistry that made up trouebled eyes.

The rasp of his trouebeld breath threaded through the air as he pressed and patted the napkin under your eye. There was no wetness there, but it was moreso Bojack's attempt and want of it that seemed as if it was the most healing grace that could have added to the richness while at the same time breaking the tension that polluted it before. His other hand, hesintnetly, but with still the same intention guided onto your chin as his chubby fingertips pressed under your face. Your face raied up as you allowed him the permission to be what he had the biggest doubt of being; a guidning and a worthwhile protector and lover, or at least the samm mimics of it. Not unlike baby steps to get to the place of where he was verses where he desperlaly wanted to be and had never had the patience of his own wonky waywardness to even come closet o achieving that.

"And-" Another pattering of the napkin under your eye. "There. That'll at least make it so that the fist woman up her who doesn't spew out the pussy word at you."

His hands were trembling, and the white of his teeth were poked out as he trembled the napkin against the palm of his hand. Despite his clear nervousness that was protruding through him and the hints of his air he maanged to recollect himself, though by the time he let out a grunt and tossed the tissue paper into the nearest garbage that slide out from under the counter and his fingertips found his wrists again with his own gudied into a light of the constant worry of doing the wrong thing, he already recollected himself well enough, though his teeth still poked out and his eyes were still tender with that wear of desperation as his fingertips neroulsy played with a pattern that only spoke from someone that was jaded in a particularly profound way that had left him that wreckage of vulnerability.

"Thank you." Your fingertip wiped at the place where he had adorably and with uncertainty, ears splayed back and lowered with caution, patted the napkin under your eyes. Yoru expression raised up as you gave him a nod. "Though I don't know if anyone coming in is going to be so quick as to be that rude, even for somewhere like here, and not for something as easily common as much as crying."

Bojack's lip raised up, and there permission you were giivng him to not fully embded yourself into the clumsy dispaly of a lack of impression of who he tried-and failed at, but still witht he delusion that it was enough, benign someone who was parcilairty soothing and no easily swayed as he wanted to be to survive.

"Don't get too sure about that. With the amount of crackheads around here and God knows whoever they are, what they did or continuously do, or whoever is tripping through that door I can promise you one thing; anything will fly out of those guys' mouths."

His hands were playing against the chubby mold that made up his wrist as he watched you with still the same apology in his eyes. Underneath that, the most incessant complication of both human gushing excitement that was precious in the fact it existed in anyone in the dry of compassion city at all; much less in the dry eyed wonder of the softness of someone who was both exhausted with all life taken out of him from a lifetime of suffering, the most knee buckling and emotionally spellbinding combination of that richness of childish excitement and boyish need to be watched over in the most tender way, contuind to thirvei with both caution and induced anticipation and excitement in his own insecure and abused way. Bojack needed compassion, as anyone did, but some had been grown into the root of the lack of it and what was left was the muddling confusing combination of what made up Bojack and the contradictions of what served his form.

Your hand reached out for Boajck to take as it rested away from your eye. Bojack's eyes widened in a hollowed surprise as he gazed at the intimacy and the suggestion of what it meant, his fingers finding the worn down skin of his own restlessness against his suddenly embedded and nervous fingertips.

"Oh." His hand reached up, nervously, in the attempt to take words. His fingers lied agaisnt his palm as he squnted with his ears lowered as he looked at you with a question of deep laden doubt that you were starting to wonder would ever really leave his eyes. "You..sure? You don't want to keep your hands dry for while the-" His fingers continued to scratch against his neck as his eyes gave away his complicated insecurity. "Rest of the tears dry up."

He knew it sounded ridiculous, and it showed off within the dry exasperation of his eyes It was just as laden in muddled insecurity as much as it sounded. You lips raised into an exhaust that met Bojack's own stumbling words, and he let out the softest word of a rasp that showed of the genuine extent of how naturally tender he really was his the wet insecurity of his eyes met your hand.

"I think the tears will be fine. There's going to be a lot more if we can't both find a way to actively work on things the way we feel them, if I know anything about tears."

Though the inseicirty was deep on Bojack's expression, he gradually allowed his hand to met agaisnt your palm, teeth poked and eyes squuinted as that grace on his face that became more promiemtn the more you loved him swept ove rhis features as his eyes gudidied up and met your own face that was carved by the light of the pool. He needed patience more than he needed compassion; he always had. No one was ever willing to give that, the same wayit refused compassion to most. They would never know how good it felt to have eyes to see the tormented timid Horseman they way he met yours because of how his own softness met your own gentle grace that was made in both of your admittedly endlessly flawed and unpredictable complexitites, but the reward that came from it suppressed any satisfaction from superficiality. On what was the other side of the grey door of what he tried to contrived as his identity it was the beleief of who people thought he was that had run thick, though truth be told the mold had broken in his authenticity that was so deep that showed itself through his natural unconventional tendenrness that was unsuspecting to what others assumed a tender heart should have been in his conflicted emotion, feet tapping in insanity, eyes wet and bridled in desperation and want at every complciated turn of his own comcplaiton, as any great person who was brought a sa product from what existence did to someone was.

Bojack's lips raised into that smile again that you now were convinced was the simplest and most gentle and wretched thing you could ever see, ad rich as the emotion that inspired it. It reached his eyes as his timid and oddly sophciated touch agaaisnt his palm graduated away from his hand as hiss tout fingers instead met your own, fingertips guudiding around it as they wrapped in contentment, at least for the time being.

"Well, we can't have that, can we?"

His voice, in its own somber natural profound charm, was more soothing than it had ever been in the conversation as his honeyed words executed his temporary peace. You could feel his regret for his natural superficial teasing, as contradicting as the richness in his eyes that was more alive on his worst day than most ever would be. He was simply made as otherworldly and soulful, whether he liked it or not, and that tint of natural wear that had followed him through the wear of his life made evene worse in an unnatural force of the maliicouness of the world hadn't changed that or ven cheapened it-he had been one of those rare few where it had increased and become richer, in his odd ironic way, whether he meant for it to be or not-and of any punishment or reward that may have come from it was hardly relevant.

His eyes turned to the door as the flash of a car light flashed across his expression as his ears flicked up in alertness that met his eyes. There was the sound of tires running on pavement, and the vague sounds of the people driving from outside as there own causal conversation ran into the air of the otherwise isolation atmosphere of the rich that made up the hills of Hollywood.

"Dammit." Bojack's muscles cramped as his eyes turned into a sudden alert insult towards the slightly open door; partly from drunken carelessness, party from his own subconscious desire to leave it open for whatever unwitted adventure met or came through it at any given moment, s it was for someone as naturally inclined towards adventure as much as Bojack was. "Is someone here already."

"They must have felt that were were enjoying ourselves."

"Very funny."

His eyes squinted as they reflected against the light that followed his searching eyes as he leaned his head to try and peak through the door to meet th sound of the tires that screeched outside right along with the sounds of the disquieted conversation aside outside that sound like casual conversation of two people discussing heatley where to go next. Bojack's hand pulled away from your embrace as he settled for keeping them eased against his palms as his ears perked up and alert nervousness took his eyes, teeth poked out in his own caution. When the sounds of the conversation began to become distant right along with the sounds of the tires as it squealed against the polished and sheltered parts of Bojack's house and out away against pavement, humming away into nonexistence, the ease of Boajck's natural caution and tension began to ease. The alert and caution in his eyes eased as he turned back to you, slight worry on his complicated features.

"What do you think? Should we try and bang and smash now, see what happens?"

The question was offput and awkward in the way it left him unexpectedly. You collected yourself as you tried to meet his attempt at readjustment from his previous on edge air. For all that he tried to come across as someone who couldn't have cared less about what happened, you saw with yourself and recognized it in him through the natural eye you had for his relentless insecurities that that indifference came as a cold protection from the fact that he knew he had very little to any control in the indifference and natural apathy and even chaotic violent physical and emotional illness of others and the world, a subconcious understanding of how helpless he was that came out in an ironic apathetic defense of dryness that was, at its core, accpetence of the inherent abrasiveness of how things were. Your eyes turned down as your hand eased on the spacs of his fingers that had settled for cramping on his palm and his insecure eyes turne down in their wet exhust and the poke of his white teeth that came from the odd array of being self reassured while also clear he knew he could be so easily be detsoyed in a world his already wretched and timid heart hadn't been made for.

"I thought you'd never ask."

His lips raised up into a smile that reached his eyes and added an extension of a tenderness that already gave you strength despite the trouble that met the both of you tomorrow, and the next, and every day after, of the complications that came with living with the incessantly and unforgiving flaws of humanity that would never give either of you a chance to breathe. But there was that grounding strength that came from taking in Bojack's abrupt fragility and of his one particular wretchedness and the specific way the world had destroyed it without pause for breath or regret, as it did for everyone, but his was a parictakar attraction of allure that seemed to be served for you and was specifically made in every tragedy and success that shined through the pain that made up life that it had been made for you to love and for him to receive, and in there, most importantly, did the both of you find your most resounding grounding whenever you got a chance to breathe a bit from the chaos that would haunt the both of you until life gave you the freedom of death after-as it was, there was only trying to find the humor in the cllanege and the od twisted beauty and freedom of the unfairness not of life but of human nature, but how much easier it was sicne you had found his ow parituclalr melcochoic beauty to guide you both.

Bojack's eyebrows quirked up, mouth twisted into something that was half meant to come across as savvy, though mostly it was clumsy awkwardness. "Yeah?"

The spaces of your squeezed on his as you separated the awkward cramp fingertips that rested on your palm as it was instead met with the release of intimacy. The sounds of the car and the muttering between the two people in it had begun to steer away, leaving nothing but the sounds of rocks hit against by the occasional walking person outside on the street of Los Angeles that was only quiet for its other much more worse payment, which was the isolation that came with the price of the peace away from the loudness of the world for a little while; a bad trade for a bad trade, but Bojack seemed to have understood from the start that he would have to take the trade off of peace he could get in the world with how it was, and he would have done anything anyway to have the space to breathe away from the suffocating wretchedness that had been the projection of his wretched parents when he had been younger.

Boajck's eyes flicked over to the bedroom. His stout fingers curled on your own. He seemed shy, and though the attempt at being savvy was off put, mostly from the extension of the lack of genuine acceptance he had ever gotten despite the amount of partners he had slept with, there was still charm that guided it that met with his experience, no matter how much it may have lacked depth.

"It's probably not going to be the same once those guys show up. If you wanted to experience being together before they came in. Maybe get some practice."

The suggestion of Bojack's voice was more of a blunt statement of desperate want. Had there been anything that had come to be obvious about the erratic insecurity of the chaos of Bojack's mind, it was that he wanted to be reaffirmed that he could be intimate with you in the way that had evidently been rich enough that it had given him the confidence to want to do it in front of others, something that with any other woman he would have curled up in his isneiciiurty, known the natural uncaring malicouness that made up the eyes of the hardened flares of people who mimicked being human rather than having any understanding of what it meant to truly be human, especially when it came to precieiving someone as easily wrecked as much as Bojack, who's molded body practically shouted out a helplessness made only made for certain rare eyes that he had never found. That was, until now-and he wanted to take that in before that new burn of challenge came to the forefront, communicated by the burning we begging of his eyes as he stared at you now with ears lowered back in his flirtatious insecurity.

"I agree." You said the words softly, with the undertone of the message that you saw and understood the desperation of Bojack's request. His eyes widened, as if in surprise. Even now, it was taking him a long time to come to understand what a healthy and deepened relationship was, one that increased with every interaction, rather than contracted.

His helplessness increased as his teeth poked and his wet eyes widened. "If you're sure. I mean, we don't have to. We could drink more, or just lie down and get ready for whatever energy they expect us to have." His head turned as trouble possessed his eyes while his fingertips scratched the side of his aggravated neck. "I have plenty of bottles I could get out for an extra sting if you want."

"Bojack, I want to."

The blunt statement cut Bojack off. Hi clumsy spoken words abruptly ended as he eased into a whimper, maslcine but helpless as his worried ans baggy laden wrinkled sickly eyes turned back to you. With a hesitant ease did his lips raise up, and clearly there was a communication on your face that met Bojack's, because a genuine warm belief met his eyes as his lips raised up and reassurance met his eyes.

"Ok. Good." A slight nod, eyebrows lowered into his relieved agreement. "Good. Me too."

He let out a heavy breath as his eyes looked over your shoulder.

"I don't know how much time we have, but with the dinks and the combination of having just enough time to think over how we can spend this time-" His heavy eyelids met his exasperation as he gave you that lazy indifferent exhaust that he responded to with most situations." I don't think it matters too much." His fingertips scratched the side of his wrist nervously as he turned his head to the side, insecurity laden in his eyes. "Or it shouldn't, as long as we do enough to make sure we're ready for whatever shit is thrown at us by these meth heads-" He lifted a finger. "And believe me, they will. Part of the fun of it, I guess, but that's also the reason why we should be careful about how we react to it, which would be where the, uh, sex part comes in." He shook his head as one hand eased in front of him like a caution sign. "But we don't have to. I think vodka does just the same trick of anything we think about this kind of..you know, things.."

Bojack;s raspy deep voice of unceritney was trailing as he got lost in his pattern of nervousness. For all of the times he had had sex cockily, succssfully, and uttelry uncaringly in regards to however it had either affected the other woman whether good or bad, it was clear that he still had countless walls to jump over when it came to the permena twreckage of his inseocirurity that, despite it all, had never been reassured in the ways that mattered. Your arms eased closer to his hips as your fingertips squeezed on the spaces of his hand, gudining his hand along with your grapes rather than taking it away as you eased the embrace of his hand along with your intimacy while your arms found his hip. Bojack's troubeeld expression turned backt o you as his ears perked up and a slight alert came in his eyes as your embrace guidded agsisnt the plush curv eof his stomtahc that rested against his shirt.

"Oh." His teeth poked out as his worried wet eyes met the embrace of your arms. His arms rested on your back as his body eased further into you. How tender and surprised his tone sounded showed the resounding tender uncertinrnty that made up his air and the essence fo who he was, despite whatever definition may have tried to concieve of anything otherwise. His hand rested on yours as his stout fingertips met your hands. "Alright." A slightly more confident ease raised his lip up as a determination, or the want of it, graced across his expression. "Here we go." He raised your hand up with his embrace while that attempt of the guise of determiaiton cam across his face.

"Bojack and his current partner, banging it out before stumbling white noise idiots come in through the store and start their shit. Smashing it out, not thinking too much, reminding each other how its done before anyone comes along and makes it comcplciated." His fingertip trailed on your chest, eyes lowered more into that superficial but want of something more full of depth while it trailed down your chest, your body shivering in response as you allowed your body to enfurl against his intimacy. "Best move I can think of for these kind of scenarios!"

He stumbled back as his arms wrapped round you, and you found yourself laughing as you eased into the freeing feeling of something as simple as being lost in someone's prescecen who knew and loved and understood you deeply, even if he hardly knew what that meant in his own way and even less knew how to execute it yet. He let out a hum as he pressed his kiss onto your cheek as he stepped backward, and already was his shirt pressed against the hips of your body in his own teasing allure for you to do what he wanted as he wanted the way you wanted it; this was a consent of cleebration for the both of you, thought at its essence was inseicitty.

"Current." You said the word with a slight tease as Bojack let out his corny soppily laden noises against your cheek. You felt the muscles on his face cramp in bewilderment as he eased his arms away from where he had fully embraced them around your hips, the intensity of it no doubt for his own reassurance that he could find confidence despite his natural inseuicty that the world loved to feed off of that propelled off of his every unintieonal form.

He chuckled against your cheek. There was deep embedded insecurity in the sound. "What?"

"You said current." Your head turned, your cheek leaning against the side of the brawny and coarse hair of his chest. There was a hum that left Bojack's lips as he eased his body further over to the masterbed room, the door slightly eased open that could be seen from the grey steps that led up to the hallway. Boajck pressed his lips together as you heard the insecurity of his rasped hum agaaisnt your skin.

"Well-we don't need to go too much into the idea of time frames or labels."

"Right." Your had leaned agasintt he curve of his neck, fingertips esing into the black of the messay array of his alredy slightly disarrayed man as your fingertips eased against it as he started to stubble his way through the rest of the large neon pool lit hallway.

"Shit." Bojack's slew of swears was one of many as he started to stumble his way up the grey stack of the stairs that led to the bedroom of where experience had been had that already contradicied the narrative of tmeproalry comfortbaility that Bojack had clumsily slapped onto the relaitonhsip if only for the comfort of attempting to fall into the famailrity of what was brief and fast; anything beyond that, as painful as tempaoriy was, served as too much for him.

"Take your time." Your breath eased against his neck as your fingertips threaded against the coarse thread of his mane. Your attention turned to the neon light of the iiving room as your eyes turned over to the oddly proudly sad and melchcolci way it eased and comcpliemted against the lagr couch and the space. The entire house spoke of someone who knew that their life was cheap because they inherently weren't enough, never would be, and it was no fault other than what they had been born as, and unable to change it; an unimpressive person born into a superficial world that had been made only to give life's most required needs to the impressive, the rest left to squander. Bojack was unimpressive enough of a person that he had been given a lucky break; but there was the clear understanding he had of the conpoement known as clear luck that only leveraged him slightly above the rest of the stumbling millions, the slew that made up an inomprhensible amount.

And yet, as your nose buried further into the feeling of the film of sweat that was coming from his brown and spoltted skin, your fingers easing into the balcm of his coarse hair, it had been all those reasons you were feeling that inaimte feeling that were beyond understanding or descprotion; it even amde you feel initiated yourself just how powerful they were, and all from the qualities that by account the average person woul have expected you to feel the same way about the plump, swearing, insecure and short tempered man with a bad repuuation that was attempting to slide you up the stairs now, emabressingly, and miserably so.

You had never felt something so good feel so inspired out of you so naturally.

Bojack gave an a abrupt, annoyed swear as he conuiedn to pant up the steps, chubby hands still embraced against your hips as he helped the both of you upward.

"Yeah. I'm trying. I just don't need..any commentary. I'm fine."

He could barely speak through the panting of his breath, and this only caused you to feel even more of a tender protection as your lips raised up, your head guiding up and easing into the curve of his neck.

"We don't have to worry about current, Or the future, or anything else."

"Ok." Bojack's voice ws abrupt, concentrated on trying to keep his hands guided through with his embrace on your hips as you were eased up the stairs wth him, stumbling step meeting his clumsy stumbling step as one grey stairs passed by another. The natural purrty in his voice spoke of a more complciaed affair. "I get that. I agree. This is just…another thing that's happening. Nothing more than that, nothing less. Just two people in Los Angeles-" A paricualrty heavy breath as he eased the both of you further upward on the stairs. "Like every other person and like everything else that has ever happened, just going forward and doing what people do. Fucking and forgetting." His chubby hand rasied knot the side of the wide grey corner that met into the hallway, eyes squinted in exhaust as his ears lowered while his body eased downward, letting out hi heavy rasped breaths as the plump of his hips eased with his hand onto his knees. He let out a partially choked beath before choking out in his hald bent demeanor; "Amazing. I'm amazing at that practice. Don't worry." He waved his hand beside his panting and plump eased forward form. "I got it before you even suggested it."

One of his hands that weren't settled for resting on his knee was still eased and settled onto the middle part of your hand, gently threaded and resting into it while you made your up the last stair that led into the grey hallway that was now meeting Bojack in his panting exhausted breath as his cramped body eased onto the grey hallway, now collapsing onto the floor as both hands fell onto his knees, panted breath leaving the poke of his teeth as his squinted eyes turned down. You allowed Bojack's hand to ease out of your palm and his breathing continued as his eys squinted. You eased your body further beside his body as he continued to pant heavy, your hand meeting up against his show that was easing up and down.

"That's the opposite of what I meant."

Bojakc only shook his head while he continued to be ocipuied his breath. His distant squinted eyes continued to stare forward as his ears eased down.

"I said don't worry about it." His head turned away from you slightly, as if in the attempt of trying to keep himself away from anything too challenging. "Say that to every woman after the several month mark. Makes it easier for the both of us."

He meant the words that he said, and you knew that it was coming from a place of especially wretched labor that was in a guise of simplicity for the sake of that famaialirty he kept coming back to like someone who was so used to torture that it was the only home that could give them comfort.

"Makes the exit for them when they leave easier. For the both of us. Not in a corny way, either-just in a-" He waved his hand in a circle as his eyes rolled up in thought. "It's more of a 'we know things are the way they are so let's no make this a whole corny annoying heavy thing that we can whine about in text or online forums later' kind of thing."

He gave another especially large breath as eyes widned, his body eased further agasitn the plump curve of his stopwatch that rested in his lap. He had a natural grace and handsome sospshciated that seemed to scream a ceratin kind of persona tragedy that seemed curated to meet whatever it was you were made of to love him through it, but for now there was only that clumsy man who knew nothing otuisde of the detached superficial, the way most, if not everyone, especially in the curve of those indifferent city and busy lights of a certain practice of inhumanity did.

You allowed him to spew out his philsisophy for as long as he needed; there was a certain pain to everything he said that had spoken of a literal lifetime of loneliness and detachement and the desperationt to find peace with the promised pain that life had granted him that had led to a certain erratic array of mental disorders that transcended understanding by this point in a long and comcpliated life.

"Do you think I could love you beyond that?"

That was the only thing that allowed a pause in Bojack's breath. The rhythm of his breathing ended as his head turned to you, eyes still squinted in adorable exhaust, though it ws already clear that there was at least parotulay some overplay to it instead of confronting anything that would allow any excess of discovery outside of what had become home, most especially because of the erratic and compelling pain that followed no rules an even less followed any extent of promise of answers that the beilwdered mind of Bojack seemed to have long since accepted, only tot his detriemneted weakness.

"What?"

You eased down by him as your hand found his plump stomach. Your palm rested against where you felt his panting and his stomtahc ease ono your hand as his teeth poekd out and squinted eyes and lowered ears contuied to guide him through his exhaust.

"Don't tell me this is all just from the steps."

"Hey." His eyes rolled as he took another gasp. He was only just catching up with his panting. "It's been a long time since I carried a woman. Not because no one wanted to, it's just-" His voice slurred. "I just didn't want to. For a long time. Everyone seemed like they were just terrible and wouldn't know a decent or even compassionate conversation if it hit them in the back of their goddamn heads and they all ahve that same look of this-flacced judgement, like they're made to try and take your deepest pain and make it make even less sense than it already does and somehow twist it and make it even worse. And I was so sick of it for the longest time, I still am, and I don't think the feeling is ever going to go away, of just being so goddamn sick of everyone and how they're made to try and take down whatever the world left of you. There's no sense of it, there's no reason of it-

"That's not what I meant. That's not what I meant at all.

There was a wobble and a desperation to Bojack;s voice that was gudiding up into a crack that met his eyes that held more vulnerable emotion more than any person you had ever seen in your life ever had, and you knew it wasn't just because of the specific narrative that Bojack was that met against your eyes of being able to read that.

"There's no end goal even if the person tells themselves there is. It's just people being garbage because it's all they know how or what to goddamn do. I got sick of it-so I'm sorry if it's taking me a minute to adjust. I'll collect myself and we can-" He wavd hi hand in a detached circle as his dry eyes raised up in just as much of an equal exhaust. "Go back to the fracking thing. Sure. I'll collect myself and ease myself up and we'll have a time." His breathing was back to a soft lowered exhaust as he turend his head to you, dry eyes encased in lostness as he turned his head to the side without those almond profound depths gazing into yoru fully. "And I'm sorry about..the label thing. We don't have to worry about it. I was just saying what I know. That's what people are supposed to do."

"Are they?"

Bojack shrugged as he shook his head, eyes closed off from any further reading as his shoulders eased down right along with the attempt of exhausted calm in his breath. "I don't know. That's what I've heard. And it works for most people, especially if they're trying to be miserable, so I don't see why I should fight that."

You arm eased up agaist Bojack's still panting body. There was an inaiamtion about him, a sochcpaited handsome grace that was also edged but dark wisedom of seeing things as terrible as they were for so any people and always would for him, but for now he was as pathetic and as lovable as they came, every movement of his ears and squinted eyes and panted exhsuted breath giving away his own exhust of his vulnaainity and just how much it cost and was asked from him.

"None of what you talked about is what I meant."

"Well." Bojack's eyes opened as thst distant compelling detached grace overcame his eyes as he started onto the cold grey of the floor. "You're welcome for the monolouge, then."

"Beautiful, though."

Bojack chuckled. "If ou consider being at the end of your rope beautiful, then yes, I guess you could see the porse at being at the end of trying to make your life even close to anything of what you wanted."

His wet and insecure eyes eased pward as your hand rested on his back. He continued to breath deep, but it had eased down into a quiet settlement now, much like the extension of the conversation as his own tormented eyes turned to you in hi own wordless question.

"When I mentioned what I did just now, what I was asking was if you felt like I could give you more than that. If you felt like I was someone who was capable of giving you that." Your hand guided onto his stomach, the other one resting on the panning of his back, party with the intention of getting him back upward again, but mostly with the intention of what was become icnreadnly rarer in the extension of human flaws that could swing one way or another in the terrifying concept that came along with the human nature of free choice.

Bojack's head shook, a new kind of emptiness of reflection meeting his eyes as his ears lowered even further downward. How a messy array of his stuck out pain and pained foggy eyes looeked like such a reflection of humanity's failure at keeping its own and the celebration of it so blatantly painted on his face would have been disturbing, had it not been for the natural grace and body that only Bojack was able to give it.

"I don't know what that even means." His voice was somber, genuine in his lostness as he breathed. His head turned and his body leaned forward further, rather than back, as his squinted eys tuend to you. "I never have. I think it would be better if we tried to accept this for what it so clearly is rather than what we wish it could be."

Your lip pressed together. There was a pause, with nothing but the collection of the conclusion of Bojack's breathing meeting the air. You could feel that depression that hung in thr air from Bojack's pain; black, helpless, wit the genuine freedom that came of letting go from any hope for a better life. You didn't know how much more you should have pressed, but, as it was with all things that were truly human in a way that trancedned beyond any rules or logic or understanding, the desire to do so was so strong that it was rendered impossible to refuse it.

"I've seen the drawing."

Bojack's ears perked up. His eyebrow raised as his eyes turned up to you, more alert than they had been since he had taken his first drink.

"Which one?"

He sounded off guard, but there was a softness that spoke more of a curiorty rather than defense.

"Of that small girl. The tan young horse. She has beautiful short hair."

"Oh." Boajck's eyes closed, and the muscles on his face physically cramped as his teeth clamped together. His ears lowered as his hand eased against his back, and with a breath of a groan did he ease himself upward, his other hand finding and easing onto the corner of the side of the grey wall as he panted even just at th raisising up from his tired body. "We should get to the bedroom. We don't need those people showing up without any proper practice. We know what'll that will look like, and believe me-"

He waved his hand into a snap of an exasperated gesture as his dry eyes turned to you. "They're not going to have any mercy if we do any of those weird french kink things wrong. I've heard that's a whole thing these days. I have no doubt those guys are going to come in expecting that."

Bojack's eyes turned away from you in a distant exhaust while his pupils were dilated, and you knew now that it was more than just the vodka, despite the fact that your own senses were becoming dimmed from the influence of how it had wrapped over you. You got yourself up as he started to ease himself up, one chubby hand firmly eased against the side of the corner of the all as the muscles of his face cramped with the ease of his body raising itself upward while his other hand found its way onto the middle part of his back.

"You don't want to talk about it?"

Bojack's dry eyes turned to you. There was a dry defense in them now; almost one of insult, as if he expected or even felt obligated to make you feel small and judged if you pushed it any further. His body swayed, eased left and right and just as unfocused as much as anything else that made up his trouebeld disposition.

"Hey, you go through a drunk man's shit and you're going to find some wierd things." He started to stumble forward; or at least attempted to, though it was clear he was strlgging with his direction as his feet tripped over themselves as he made his way through the hallway, occasionally stopping only to press his hand on the side of the grey splotted wall. His head turned over his shoulder as you followd the exasperation of his eyes as the lowering of his emotion was brought down to a zero in regards of flexibiltiy. His fingertips snapped into a small shape as he showed the gesture to you. "I've made a total of zero things that have made sense to me throughout my time being drunk and even less than that time worrying about where it came from. Maybe it's some weir stripper with a baby kink. Maybe it was some odd meltdown I had that I don't remember. Who knows. But the point is is that you don't need to worry about it, because god knows I'm not."

He tried to eased himself further, but as soon as his chubby hand eased himself off of the wall, his breath caught up with him. His eyes widened as his hand snapped down to his eased forward plump stomach that poked out along with his bad posture.

"Oh-god-" A sickoiness over came his eyes as his head snapped forward, rocking sickly. The blakc bags under his eyes seemed to be increadiny as his head snapped forward. "Looks like tere might be a punishment for trying to get ahead in terms of the fun early tonight. The practice part might have been a bad idea."

You rushed over to his leaned forward form, and he raised himself up as much as hs stout, sickly body and protrudcing stomtahc would allow him to as he streched upward, hand pressing on the middle part of his back as his expression clamped toegether in pain as he breatehd in. His eys squinted as he breathed deep, body looking helpless and clumsy but at the same tie the extension of desperation as he eased himself forward again hile he panted in his sickly fashion. Your hand pressed on his stomach and back against as you raised him back up, his dry breath coming from that impossible cp,cplaited and beautiful torment in his tender eyes that had the rare want of at the very least wanting to be able to try, unlike so many of that flaccid look that cae from so many that had spewed out of the unitneional portray of Bojack's mouth.

"I'm sorry if it was too hard to bring it up."

Bojack shook his had. A defense lit up his eyes as he turned his expression to you. "It's not too hard to being up a drunk man's junk." He laughed, in a self conscious tinder way. "I just don't want to talk about it when we're supposed to be getting frazzled and not being the losers that so obviously the rest of everyone else and us will be if we don't get in the routine of it." His exasperated eyes turned as he eased himself further down the hallway, though not before the panting and the physical exhaust overcame him as his jaded breath left his lips as he eased his expression downward again in his own panting. "Jesus. What are you, a detective?"

Your hands kept rested on his arms. His eyes were squinted as his body eased on the side of the wall, still leaned forward awkwardly; and still just as much in a position where it was clear that the heaviness of his own comcplciated denial in the guise of protection was making up the majority of his speech, despite his own overtly unhealthy body and equal complication in his eyes speaking otherwise.

"When I saw that drawing, I knew I wanted to keep it by me. It meant something to me, and iI could feel from the way it was portrayed that it meant something to you, too."

Boajck's eyes, squinted in their comcpliated and handsome pain raised up as his eyes turned to you. "Ok, I get that. But what does that matter if you felt that way? It's just a feeling." He waved his hand in his superficial exhaust as his heavy dry eyes turned up in a lazy superficial dismissal. "Feelings come and go all the time. It dosen;t mean that you have some sort of incredible revelation or try to make anything from it. You just take it for the dumb passing meaingless shit that it is and keep going forward."

There was a certain stereotypical ass feeling as the lazy invalidation occupied his eyes while he breathed deep, staring ahead, hand pressed up against the messies of his hip, white shurt pulled upward and revealing the coarse black hair that spilled like a trail under his beelybutton that showed through his druekn disposition and sloppy messy, uncaring selfish erratic and impulsive disarray that could have cared less other than anything of what he had. In that moment it seemed like he was the farthest person from deserving of the profound emotional intimacy you wanted to give him; and, as it was with the twisted logic of emotions, that was all the more reason why you felt compelled to with a warmth and bond that wa sso deep that it would have broke you, had it not been the one thing your purpose seemed as if it had always waisted and hinged on.

You made your way towards his heavy breathing as your hand eased behind his back in the wanting of propelling him forward. He breathed deep, ears lowered, and another intimate look overpassed his snout as his hed titled downward as he fell against your touch.

"Her name is Harper. I think." He shook his head slightly, as if insulted by himself to even ease into the consideration of the addmitnece. His fingers found the diamond part of his snout while trembling fingers met the chubby part of his mane. "I don't…she comes to me every now and then. Usually on some messy drug trip that was suppsoed to give me something other than soe superfifica, grotetue crisis like the way that girl did."

"I want to hear about it."

"No, you don't." There was an exhaust to Bojack's tone that spoke of someone who was emotionally wise and jaded and experienced enough from the jadenedness and from the few oment sof relieved good he had had in his life that you could sense the emotional dveestaing at the suggestion of how much he knew what mattered in life and what didn't, what investments would destory him verses what would protect and give him steneght and comfort. Though most people seemed to find boredom in peace and in the deepst states of peace and love, and rather were drawn to conflict and aggression and anything elese they deemed as high energy and worthy of their short attention span, it was only because they lacked the dpethof heart to feel what made peace and love that much more attratcive and alluring. Though in the moment, with Bojack's ass type air and dispsotion and his wantof trying to play that trope, he could feel even just in the defeat of his voice that nothing else could have been less true.

"I could see the details of the grass."

"Right. Grass. Funny what drunk brain comes up with when it's left with the freedom to do whatever it wants without worrying about how stupid or pointless it is when sober-like grass, for example."

"I felt this energy come over me when I looked at it. It was profound; one of the most worthwhile feelings I've ever felt. I've never felt it like the way I did with that drawing. I've never felt something so solid, certain. Like I was drawn to a purpose that was permanently embedded in me that would save me from so much evil, emptiness, lostness that I knew I could so easily succumb to. Like the way so many do."

"Really. You felt an energy." Bojack's head turned to you in the unreadable but utterly alluring almond erratic depth of his eyes. "You sure you didn't just steal my drink and take too much and call it a night?"

Your eyes snapped within their depths as the muscles on your face furrowed while thought crossed over your features.

"Can you answer my question?"

"About what? Yes, I did make the drawing. No, I don't remember and I don't know why I keep my drunk drawings crammed into a book under my bed with my other novels other than I don't want to have that conversation every time I speak or sleep with a woman. I usually only do it for the second part."

"Do you think you could trust me to be more than what you're comfortable with? That I could be allowed to give you that kind of faith-"

His ears flicked. An insult of uncomfortability entered his eyes. "Faith?"

"-Or whatever you want to call it, whatever is comfortable for you. Can I try to give you that? Maybe not now, maybe it won't make sense at all, but if we both agreed that we're coming from the same place."

Bojack's muscles tensed on his face. It looked not unlike he was feeling a small shot of physical pain. "Honey-"

"I just think that there's a reason why I felt that when I discovered it a few days ago."

"Well why were you going through it at all if it made you feel so weird?"

There wasn't necessarily any defense to the way Bojack spoke, but rather only an edge of a push that came across from an edge of discomfort. The pout on his face only increased as the fight in his eyes turned up to you, though, as always with the way he made you feel, there was a tenderness of genuine exhaust and curiosity that made up his eyes.

You breathed as you reset yourself as much as you were able. Your hand eased further onto the middle part of his back, more as a reminder that despite whatever quick narrative the broken trust of his headspace might come up with, you were on his side in the way that at this point in his life, he wasn't sure he had ever had or ever would have, or even had the belief that it really existed at all.

"It didn't make me feel weird, sweetheart." The gentlness of the petname was met more smoothly by Bojack more than usual as his body adjusted agasitnt he wall, eyes reste into that profound udnerstadning of the distance of his own melchlic eyes as they turned down through the bagss of his worn expression. "It made me feel incredible. And I can see this..pattern that you're falling into sometimes because it's what comfortable for you-" Your hand reache up to ease onto his wrist, but Bojack's compelling distance that made up a reflective depth absent in any other expression or air you had ever seen quickly became a fire as his head snapped over to you with his ears lowered as his arms snapped away from yours while the hard look on his eyes increased against your expression.

"There's no pattern."

You closed your eyes as you sighed, then opened them as the defnes eof your body eased away from Bojack's. Your hand pressed away from were the grasp of your hand was meant to meet Bojack's own wrist, but now it just as well settled by the side of your body as your eyes met against his in your own understanding that one wall had been meet tonight that couldn't be broken, and though it was resoundly beautiful and breathtaking and extended further through the signs of the erratic wet of Bojack's eyes and the compelling universal pain in them that had hit him in a personal way that felt like an extension of your own, a message was a message; he wanted to be left alone with being psuehd furher into that side of his headspace.

You gave a nod, your embrace easing away from the fight against Bojack's body as his chubby arms and wrist cramped ip into a resistance.

"Alright. There's no pattern."

Bojack's eys flicked back and forth in an array of both bewilderment, but gradual ease of acceptance as his body eased downward from the slight paralyzation as his defense lowered down. "Ok." His fingertips found his wrists. "I'm glad we agree."

Your eyes flicked down as you felt your exhaust overtake you, but just beyond that was the want of trying to meet Bojack's own depth and compelling specific naunce of where he was at. You had spent a lifetime being molde dinto the person you had became from life's own quirks and grieevences, and it had eld you into a certain mold that had been tragic and strange and eccentic enough that it seemed like it had just been a ball of an mess with no sense of beauty or even point to it; just a suffocated wreck of time and messiness of a life that was a response to a just as equally chaotic world and the flawed human nature that had never allowed the space for you to breathe or even process emotions since you had been born.

Boajxk shared the same pain, and as if i wasn't enough to love and appreciate him, there was something more than hat beyond the astounding refreshment that only came from human connection through the same shared prescriptives and pains, there was an otherworldly and astounding, almost astral connection of profound wonderment between the both of you and of how Bojack had been molded overtime into the erratic manchild he was, and you, with your disposition of a lost woman who had long lost her coherent sense of worse or what made her worth, if anything at all, and spent her empty days toling over herself of whatever she could make every day to prove that narrative otherise, and tormenting herself relentlessly if she failed at being able to find any physical proof of whatever could make up her worst fears otherwise.

Boajck breathed deep as his eyes flashed over your body while his teeth poked out, erratic display on the panic of his wet eyes as his body eased into a somewhat standing position.

"I know you feel it, is all I'm saying."

Boacjk's ears flcikered bakc. His hands found thier nervous timind play on his wrists as hie eyes turned to the side, eyes lowered down as his teeth pond out and met the condition of pained melcholic eyes.

"We don't need to do this."

The hallway was dark, the the neon light of the pool that flooded up the stairs only as a whisper compared to the ay it flooded through the emptiness of Bojack's living room seemed as if it could have been the physical reflection oft he softest hint of the astral feeling Bojack made you feel, the tenderness of his own clumsy and uncertain expression meeting on his eeys that had been forced to accept pain more than even the most trying time in a person's life had or could accept.

"I'm not trying to do anything." Your vocie was intentionally a whisper, gently not unlike the mood that encased from the blue reflection that eased agasitnt the hallway and up the stairs. Bojack's eyes only squinted under him, showing off the exhaust that overcame his expression, and the adroable tenderness that was part of the reason he wa sso easily defenivse so as to not be destroyed. "Honestly, I think this is something that was already doing itself before we even knew about it. It's just that now we're discovering that of which was already waiting and becoming s already."

There was a torment in Bojack's almond eyes hat were relfected against rhe blue light, compelling and full of a foggy eased that seemed like it was a traced compelling caressing that made up trouebeld features, the handsome curve of his face, the bloat of his cheek with age and the profound emotion that made up eeys that had long since accepted the fate of profound emotional pain that would neevr ease with the way the world was.

"I know, but-we don't have to." He shook his head with ease his eyes tormented expression met your own.

You blinked erratcily as you met his worried, timid eyes. "Why?"

Bojack breathed deep as if to reset, and his eys met up against the detail of your fingertips pressing against his wrist.

"The way I feel about you." Your eyes turned down as it caressed against the chubbiness of the mold of his hand, threading your fingers over the brown softness of his skin. His troubled flowered dark expression guided down as you watched you, at caution, but there ws too much goodness of how it felt for him to ever really fight it. "It feels like I've left this earth, in a strange way."

Boajck chuckled as his eyebrows eased down in an amused smirk, if only to give him some relief from the clear profound pain in his eyes at the opening of something that lef to both profound risk and at the same time the most rewarding thing he might have ever hoped to find before his weariness with the world caught up with him to completion; as anything did for anyone after a time. "Is that how you would describe it?"

"I'm still here, but it feels like I've discovered something-like I'm levered above everyone else. Not in a fame or a rich way, but spiritually; like I've grown past whatever makes up this world and existing in it and whatever that means." Your fingers squeezed against his wrist as his eyes turned down, the compelling blue reflection on his face only adding to that astral exhaustion of profound grace that made up both his erratic face and the nostgaolia of that living room from the moment you had entered and felt that certain kind of humble human space that had a gentle torment to it only Bojack was capable of. "I don't think I could ever let go of that now, not now that I've found the person that gives me that."

Boajck's eyes were somehow even more wide with their toruebeld nature as they turned downt o the way your hand rested on his wrist. With a slight adjustment did he guide his fingertips agasitn your own hand as they threaded against your own.

"And if the person wo made you feel that way wasn't…the kind of person who could bring that back to you. Would that be ok?" His eyes turned up, the most meloehic profound story of a man who ws tender form his eyes to the plush mold of his body. "You would be ok with that, you think?"

"I don't have to." Your hands eased out of the softness of his stout fingertips, countless days of having been spoield by beer and whskery like the stumbling erratic manchild of waht he had been known as, and the least expected type to bring out that feeling from you that, the moment you had stepped foot into Los Angeels, seeing the long indifferent grey and soulless buildings that threaded against the organe sky that had an extra spill of lfie to it than anywhere else if only because of the people that lived their in their waywardness such as Bojack, you kenw you had been brought home a finalized kind of way, though what that had literally been even you hadn't expected to take the toll of a man with the profound wet say eyes and the poking of teeth from his lip, the uncertain ways of his preciousness that made him; the man with the most loud and toxic reputation of ever being or of showing signs of ever wanting to be anything but that.

His eys flicked downward as your hands caressed agsisntt he side of his bloated aged cheek, and for a moment he settled for allowing the tedenrness of your hands to meet against the side of his skin as your palms caressed against the bloat of his cheek. His eys turned up as his expression settled for being nothing but a sad look of profound humanity that gave a ntural grace to his worna dn aged expression as both hands held both of his cheeks as he looked up at you now with a pouted sadness on his exression that met agasint fragile wondering wet eyes that threaded up and guided into the extension of your own intimacy as he met yours. He was profound, and the most specific form of beuaty you had ever come to know or had ever wanted to.

"I'm sorry." He spoke itwas all his melehcolic relfcetive regret. You truned your head down as you shook it while his eyes enliegehted up as his ears flciekd upward only the slightest. "I know I'm not making this easy."

"I don't want to hear you say anythign other than how ti coems to you. But I want to know that you feel it, too. When you met me at that bar, came over, pciked me up, talked to me, made love to e that night. Please tell me it meant more than something you were only doing for the prctiticed sake of it, because I knew I loved you the second I tasted your pain hust fromm entering the city that was so profound that I could feel how I loved you before I even knew who you were; you were just everywhere to me, exactly as you were, just as you are now." You leaned forward as your lips et agsint his cheek, and he breatehd deep and he eased himself forward while his head leaned down into the intmacy. "I love you."

The muscles on his face cramped. You felt the cramp of them agasitn your hand as it guided guided his cheek.

"When you say that. You realize that you're saying it to one person, right? A person who's been knowon fro causing nothing but pain adn trouble and regret to those around him and-" He paused as his hand guided into a circle. "Such and such."

"Easy to see someone as just a person; until you truly see them for all the details of what makes them an individual, and then they're seared into your memory forever. So little people do that-I do it so little, but by chance I was able to do it with you."

"I don't know if a drunk celebrity guy knowing he can ask out whoever he wants would count as chance." His head eased agssitn the wall, causing the blue to trace against his snout even further as the blue illuminated light of it edged against the side of his face while he breathed in a sharp breath at the feeling of your intimacy, hands guiding and caressing against the brown of his cheek as he eased himself against the wall. His hand were benign gudiided up by your fingertips as the memory of his own impsulively chosen night had led to the intimacy of his body being pressed against with your wrists now as his arms pressed agsisnt it, head turned back as his eyes turned to the side while your lips pressed on the chipped aggrevastion of his skin while your lips met against the film of sweat that made up his skin. His plump, curbed body was eased nder you now, the age of ow life had modled his face into something that was boyish and lost and at the same time at a resounding intomacy and sopshciation threaded through his body as his head turned against the all while your hand presse don his wrists as his body eased against the wall, teeth curved and poked out while his eyes closed and the wrinkles on his face deepened under his eyes and against the expression of his marks the same. The way his expression, timid and desperate and having a softness to it marked in both a drenched desperation for the most profound inimacty and eys for being seen was seared into your memory; the gentleness of apolloegtci timid eyes of a boy that had neevr left. His plump stomtahc eased agasint your hips now as he sucked in a breath, hips guidning agssint you as his hips began to rock against the side of your body while your intimacy found their way agsisnt his cheek, lips raising upward and down in their own desperate iniamcty, as of the catching up with time of how you had misse dloving on him while the world had wretched him and torn him apart was a thing; as if it could ever be enough.

"I do." He breathed it shakily, and somehow the beauty of the shaken tone of his voice while his snout turned up in his profound grace met up against your body as you paused while you lifted your head up from where you lips spoiled agsisnt his body. "I do-feel it." He spoke it wit a genuien sense of pain. "The same way I feel how heavy it was to be born by my mother and to be her son-when I have these memories of waking around that goddamna dark house in the afternoon and those mood drops and the way I felt being her son having this permena tmark on how I saw myself and how I would always feel because of being that. How I can't ever really have one afternoon of goddamn peace because every little thing reinds me of being her kid, her son-the heaviness of it and what that feels like, the narrative that I was this small, worthless thing and that I would never be anything or enough, and I had to lvie with that in myself for the rest of my life."

"Let me take you to bed."

" It feels like that-it feels like the same amount of power, of influence, except this time it means something else. Something more powerful, or maybe just as much or at war with the other thing, I don't know. But I feel it. I do. Like it's the narrative that's telling me the the opposite now, that I can be someone else other than that, that I can bellevue and feel like something or someone who feels good. But they're at war, and I don't think either one of them wins out-and that's the hard part of seeing it. That this could be the best thing, and it still won't be enough."

Your hand eased down his stocky ars that had settled for easing onto the back of the wall. Your head turned down as you breathed in deep as your hands caressed against the side of his arms until they rested on his hips, plush and firmly response to your ease against his body.

Bojack let out something akin to a whine, his voice trailing through that empty space that made up the hallway that no doubt in its own compelling emptiness of human suffering and isoaltion had hanunted him before as your hips eased against the lovable curve of his plush stomach. The blue neon light was guiding over through the hallway as it reflected agsisnt the grey mottled wall, relfecting agaisnt it through the blue and neon light just enough for you to get the scope of the open door to the master bedroom that the both of you had steeped out of only a few drinks ago. If Bojack's house and the emotional association you had with it had been able to make you feel that profound sense of surrelity that seeinf those extenisve busy buildings of Los ANgeels had for the first time as it had met agsint the noslatic array of he orange sky that had also eased agsisnt the front of Bojack's house the first time your hand had grazed against his the first time he ahd taken you home with him guidnig you through the golden gate, eyes lowered with heavy brown eyelids and cocky as he had twisted around witb his hand squeezed on your own as he had laughed woth you through druken whiskey smelling kisses, both handsome and chamring and cligning onto you for the night all at once, then it felt like an entire experiecne of being somewhere else entirely now as the neon lights of it sped up through your vision as the array of the blue neon light relfected from the blurriness of your preception.

"Bedroom." Bojack's voice spoke with an ease of something that felt like he was talking though a suffocated crack of a small hole through the allure he was feeling. "Quick." There was a strain to his voice as he spoke, the urgency of his ton e edged in a shakn desperation as h turend his had ovr own th hallway. His eys squintd whil h pantd through the allure of either the wall of emotion of the battle in him he was fighting as he flicked his head down the neon illumiatd hallway. "Before they show up."

Your head leaned forward as it pressed on his chest, small and molded in its own specific way that was unconventional but only caused you to have a deeper longing to eased your body against his heavy breathing form.

"Ok." Your lips raised up in a watery exhausted way that was, for once, satisfied for the worthwhile strain of it, met with the bittersweet exhaust that came along wiith accompanying and loving someone that was at war with himself as much as Bojack. Bojack's own conflicted eyes, strained with that richness that met into compelling depth of devastation that met firmly in his eyes that was so deep and soft and so embedded to being human that it gave you your own strong sense of self tht saved you from aimlessness just to take it in. His eyes met yours as they eased back down from where his head was pressed against the wall. The light in that specific torment that had made up the ball of insecuiiruty he was now enlighttned as his hands that had been pinned in the genteslt form of hunger and inimacty followed your hands as you eased him down, and a clairty came ove rhis eyes through his breath that came just as much from emotional anticpaiton as much any it did physical exhaust.

"Jesus-" Bojack breathed in deep as he closed his eyes, ears flicked backward as his hand kept by the back of the middle part of his body. Your eyes darted to him as you watched the way his eyes squinted as he breathed deep while the conflcition that made up his tender eyes poked out through his puffy eyes. "You try one new thing impulsive and sudden you're cracking your back after fifty. Incredible."

You felt your own shyness coming to the forefront of what you were trying to execute, the doubt threading through the whimsical idea of what had been piercing through more than the logic lately, the technecaility of cycniams that made up so many people's understanding of reality; most especially the panting and the disgruntled man with his back eased forward that was in front of you now. But you needed to fight through the window that, regardless of whether it was intended or not, and you knew that in Bojack's case one or the other was seldom the case, that you needed to allow yourself to stay clung onto the window of spiritual sentiment that, as rarely as it ever happened, inspriried the emotional and carved out detail senitment of emotional and essence of profound purpose and of a belonging and a logic there rather than the black and white cold cynicism that possessed and led the majority.

"You're distressed from what I mentioned about Harper."

His eyes snapped to you, alarm with an insult as his ears lowered.

"Hey, I' not distressed. A little drunk and surprised at the mention of it, sure, and maybe that's because someone went through the things I crammed under my bed that was clearly meant to not be sorted through in that way-" He breathed deep as he reset, the muscles on his face resetting in his attempt at doing sos successfully, only being seen because of the reflection of the neon light of the pool that was grazing and caressing against the contrdiciton of his conflicted features. "But not distressed. Just thinking that this has all very clearly gone in the wrong direction when we already only have so little time. I mean-" He laughed again, throatily, cockily, eyes teasing into a squint as his expression turend to you in an attempt of a playful nature, despite that everything he did in some way revealed the fight he had both with the world as well as whatever way it came to affect him, and the end result was someone that seemed always at war with themselves and the wreckage of the world that was hellbent of focusing onto the easily swayed hearts and minds that had already been born into weakened circumstances like that for as long as they were as easily readable a smooch as Bojack. "What are we doing here, anyway? Why do we need to take this seriously, or even worse, try to keep track of where it's all going? It's not going anywhere, and even if it does, why is that our business tonight?" His eyes dimmed in his dry exhaust as he looked at you. "Because, and I've made this clear before already, that Harper thing, and the measure of time and where this started and where its going. That dosen't matter to me. I just want to fel whatever this can be now. I don't want…" His lips pressed while eyes darted to the side. His teeth twisted into that melchcolic uncerntinrnaly that he always possessed as his eys turned back to you. "You can't record or make sense of things like this. Whatever it is we're experiencing of whatever it is we have, its not something you can make sense of. Or try to capture it, or keep it, or even try to."

Your eyes threaded over his expression. He was so handsome and alluring to you in a timeless and unapologetci capturing way, and the inherent heavy weariness of how experience had come to mold and shape him over time through the years of his unwanrrtend life and the nonconseual existence of it, the way heaviness of life had come to affect and embedded the wrinkles further into his face and the way he carried life's wounds and heaviness-none too exclusive for him, but it was the way he carried it that had drawn you from the start, and still through that impossibly tender endurance and the fact that he even dreamed of such things like daughters and soppiness and families and of pure things that were suggested by every expose on his expression and by the occasional tints of his grey hair that those kind of thins weren't made for him at this point, as id how he had been raised hadn't already been enough of a sign of where life had thrown him, you onlyfound yourself geveing further with him through his clear attempt at denial and the throwing away of whatever other path could have been guided up that led him into it.

"You said just now that you felt it."

Bojack's eyes squinted, and he breathed, resetting as he gave a heavy breath while his body eased downward. There was another transmission of heavy acceptance, hard and dedicating towards shaping him into the very denial he fell into so easily now; or maybe it wasn't denial so much as it was the way he had come to teach himself how to be to the point where there was no teaching left, only the fact of how things were and who he had come to be because of it. His hand caressed out of your palm as it settled for caressing on his arm, teeth poked and eyes apolaogetci and wide in the saddest expression, and you couldn't tell if it was for himself or for the rejection of the core of what was happening between the two of you.

"The best thing we can do is keep moving with what we have now, whatever that is. I'm not the kind fo guy who tries to figure out or to loo forward to things. In my experince that leasa to expeccations and mistakes and risks-and I don't want to deal with any of that. And I don't think you want to, either." His head turned to the side. "I just don't want there to be a promise of commitment and then some disappointment later."

His eyes, darted in his insecurity as they flashed own the hallway, snapped over as he indicated his eyes down it. His teeth poked out as his expression turned back to you with his other hand still rested on the few things that could guide him to a minute sense of relief in that moment, the physical attachment of leaning on something that gave him some comfort in the middle of what was more than he could handle. There was a weariness to him, and it was protruding to the forefront-you knew you didn't have it in you to try and get anything more out of him other than what you had been given, no matter how hesitantly or even accidentally.

You looked down, and your hand reached out as it pressed against the middle part of his back.

"Alright."

Bojack was too emotionally intelligent for his own good, whether he meant to be or no; his eyes turned up as a cterain apoloegtic glint met his eyes.

"I didn't mean that you ahd to suppress anything." His words tripped over while his hand found the back of his neck. "I just meant that if I feel this way then its not a good idea."

"I know." As much as his words could have gone on in their stumbling array of inseucity in the fcae of something real, you enjoyed letting him talk in his unceritny to a point, until you cut him off with a way that still allowed him to have his voice fully without worrying about him talking himself into a hole. He could be blunt and more often than not was witting and to the point with words. His expression lowered as his emotion looked into you as a demeanor of exhaust and defeat overcame his shoulders while they lowered. "I'm not changing anything."

His ears flicked. "No?"

"Not for now." You eased your head over to the hallway, and Bojack breathed deep as he allowed himself to be guided by your hand as he walked by the hallway wall, pressing into you in a way that suggested acceptance of his drunken capture and the lack of knowing what to do with it.

"Just-for reference. That drawing you saw-"

His eyes were naturally apologetic and timid as he turned to you, eeys glimmerign in apology. Your head turned as you looked at him to entertain whatever it was he needed to speak. A change overcame his eyes as he turned his head down and shook it.

"It happens. Frequently. So if you want to bring it up, you can, but-don't expect a different answer every time or anything, because I've been giving myself the same answer for years, especially on empty days when there was nothing else to think about-so." He shrugged, eyes detached in his expression. 'Just for a point of reference."

Your hand found the back of Bojack's own of where it rested against his body, and though he was still breathing in those sharp breaths, no doubt at least partly from the overstimulation from the liquor and the way both his age and his weight was catching up to him, you felt him relax the slightest bit aagisnt the touch and support of your hand. His eyes opened more as that impossible tender look on his features didn't leave as he breathed in especially deep, as if in reset, and his body raised upward slightly more. There was a story to him that was especially compelling and seemed as if it had been made especially for it to be taken in by you; though you didn't know if you could find it our execute it in the way you naturally felt it, a hollowing and intimating but ultimately one that made you feel more interconnected to anything that had ever made you or anything you had ever been more than you did taking in the precious lotness of his tenderness that was especially alluring, the conflcition of his expression and the speifici both itnimating and handsome but soft emotion and air of disposition that made him who he was that dressed him up now as his posture met your hand as you guidded the invitation over to the half open mastebreddrom door that led into the room where the both of you had established where this was going and what you wanted it to be. Bojack's ears lowered as the compelling look of anxiety and exhsut the same overcame him as he eased his way down the hall, you folllowng in toe.

Your body threaded against his as you opened the door to the mastebedroom. Bojack;s eyes lit up in a sudden alertness as he breathed in deep, hands pressed cramped into his palm as he felt the wya your body curved against his as your hands found his own hips. Surprise threaded on his eyes as you eased your body on the plush curve of his own curved sstomtahc, hands threading against hia as his body was eased agsitnt he grey wall. His eyes searched yous in both question and helplessness as his eyes squinted you to you, stout hands encased agsidtn his palm.

"Uh-" His eyes turnd up to your expression as he took in the way your hands caressed against the side of his plsubh curves. "I know we came in here to-make…love." The words sounded awkward but there was the inteiton that he wanted to use the act of sex to describe tit hat ay; as much as he wantd to be the label of a man that causally an superficlaly spilled out the word "bang" and "smash" that would suggest less emotional vulbaility and pain, he had always been a hidden and tormeented romantic; but mostly hidden. "But I thought we would do it on the bed?"

His hand indicated over to the large kind sized masterbeed that had both made and suffocated his isolation. The uncertain tenderness of how he spoke the suggestion of ti spilled out the flame of your attraction that was far more than anything that couldn't have been given justice other than the fact that it was raw love in its most simple and embedded form. The clumsiness of how he spoke it only added to your want that spilled out from desirable trembling fingertips as they grazed on his hips and curled against the curve of his stomtahc, his breathing easing against yours both with the fight of his emotions, his body, and the sickliness of his uncertinenty.

"Tell me about it. About her."

"Oh." Bojack's voice was uncertain and melochlic as it was clear the statement forced him to consider.

"What goes through your head, why you feel like you can't have her."

The question caught him off guard; you could tell just by the silence that spewed out from the question.

"Because she's not here. She never has been. She's not real. It's a very simple and straightforward concept."

But his voice trembled, and the bitter straightforward bluntness he tried to execute was deepened by his uncertainty that twisted against the tone in his voice as he spoke it. The natural tender tone of his voice gave him away eevn as he tried to fight it. Your lips grazed agasintt he side of his cheek, turned to the side as intimacy met against hsi brown skin that was now even more flooded by the blue moonlight that dressed inside of the bedroom and against the hollowing tender wet that made up his eyes. His ears lowered and his body heaved against your own as he gave a trebling breath, head turned so that his bloated cheeks were met against your inimacty and the desperation that seemed inherently tragic if only for its desire in and of itself while he let out his trembling beaths against your touches and intimacy.

"When I saw her, I knew her. I still do."

Bojack's hands pressed against your palm, though it was more for the desire or the attempt to push, one of which failed miserably as his hands instead only succeeded at threading against the spaces of yours while he guided his touch into your hand.

"You can't know someone who isn't real. It's just a drunk asses' attempt at not being that." His eyes turned down, a compelling extent of emptiness in his eyes; the kind that was granted with a certain kind of wisdom along with it. "It's just one of those pathetic desperate things people who didn't give themselves what they needed fall into."

His chubby wrists played, rather than fought or anything that suggested any kind of resistance, against the extent fo your one hand. There was the sound of a car from outside just as you were memrozing that distilled concentration on his features and the distant grief that overcame his eyes while they seemed to go somewhere else for a moment, bags puffy and black under his expresion as he eased his hands against yours. The blunt superficial anchild was just as much as the sopshciated and compelling grace of the silhouette of a man and the wear of what life had forced upon him as he was now, his hands slidiing against your palm, wisdo in his suffering, though never enough to be able to guide or give hi any answers other than that of which it had given him pain.

"Shit." Your swear left your lips as the meditation of your observation of him was cut off. Bojack's own distant compelled eyes followed yours as his eyes widened, following your expresison as your head snapped over to the widow where the yellow light glinted, or was at least suggested at, from the pavement that opened up into Bojack's house from the glimmer of the reflection of the car yellow light.

"Hold on." Bojack's hand flashed in between his legs, his feet tripping over themselves as he clumsy but detemrindly rushed his way over to the window. He squinted as his head turned down to the open large expanse of the window as his head turnd down. The plump curves of his lovehandles and the curved grace of his stomach was reflected through the neon light as his lifted up shirt showed off the reflection of the neon light that traced against his snout and squinted as he leaned his head forward. He breathed deep, as if to reset, when he turned his head away from the window. You followed as your hand found its way by his shoulder as his own wide eyes expanded back over to the window again. Your palms caressed agasitn hsi shoulder as you eased the shirt off of him, and already did the combination of that detached bewilderment and the array of his black mane sticking out in multiple directions serve as the most tormented, pathetic and fragile combiantion of a partner, and it turned iut it was the most refreshing one, the tendernes following almost more than you could stand.

"Was just another one of the passage byers." His body eased away from the window. "Lot of people com by here and think they're going to get something out of being here, like someone driving up the richest part of the Beverly Hills will suddenly grant them some insight into whatever delusional reason here that brought them here to begin with." His hands waved up as mockery took his eyes. "Like- 'Oh, lookie, I'm somebody who just moved to the big LA so that must mean there's something here made only for me. Let me drive down to the last place at the end of the street and pretend like that's the most delusional or annoying thing I could try to pretend is achieving something since the last time it happened to the people that live here since five minutes ago'."

He sighed in exasperation as his squinted eyes turned back to the window,

"Happens all the time."

You watched him, his snout looking almost otherworldly from how it was traced from the neon light-though Bojack already had the natural facial structure and the profound emotion he carried with him enough as it was anyway; the tracing of his pool seemed as if it was just the outward of the atmopehre of the haunting but beautiful heavy taste that made up his general air and disposition.

You eased your hand out as it traced on his arm; in his natural instinct did he try to snap himself away from you, but on remmebrign of who you were and what your inimacty meant, he eased and relaxed into your touch, profound eys conflicted as he turned and met into your own as your lip raised up.

"You didn't need to know that."

"I want to." Your hand pressed on his arm and his troubled eyes followd the direction you eased him in as you guided him over to the edge of the masterbeed. He followed, his arm pressed into your palm in an uncertain and compalcne tbut tender way, limply resting aaisnt your palm as you eased him to the edge of the bed. Your body ease down as you gazed up at him, hands caressing up and down against the chubbiness of his shtick arms, and he settled for easing down along with you as his tender compelling eyes turned to your own, ears lowered as the pout of his troubled expression met yours. He looked adorable and vulnerable, his stomach spilling into his lap as he eased down and met your own eyes as he tried to emotionally met you with where he was at, eyes darting into yours in small spams as his hands eased again the grace of your own grasp.

"You do?" Clumsy, unwitting, begging, in an odd way.

"Of course." It almost came out as a laugh, in that disbeleiving and gentle way as your hand reached out and threaded by his cheek. His eyes darted in conflicction as they eased down for a moment that you felt such wa wamrht just from obsevraing that you didn't just want to love it, you wanted to become apart of it fully, in whatever way that he or life would allow you to. "When I said I came here and felt a change over me bigger than anything I ever could have understood, I meant it. And I want to know what that is, if you'll let me. If that's something that you want to be able to give me."

"It is." He said with an urgency as the alarm in his eyes raised up. Your eyes searched back and forth between his own. "I do want that." His body eased down as an uncertainty overcame his eyes, and right along with that, an extended sense of fear. "I just don't know what that looks like."

"I don't either. I didn't when I came here."

Your hands eased against his wrist, and his compelling hollowed eyes turned up to you as his teeth poked out, ears splayed, light of the outside city of Los Angeles and the superficiality of its cursed way of how it had been such the opposite of what Bojakc had needed, the neon haunt of his pool that dressed the entire house in some way or another in its reflective melancholy, profoundly graceful and somehow the most lost timid essence you had ever come to know.

"I don't think you did when you came here, either. Maybe this is something that can help the both of us."

Your somber voice complemented the fear on Bojack's face well. He breathed deep as his eyes closed while he turned his head downward, ears lowered. When he opened them there was both an extra life of something rich enough that it only could have been known as relief-and the compelling light of his eyes turned up took the form of an almond distance as the tired rest of them eased onto the concentration of your hands on his chubby wrists.

"Just." He breathed deep, ears splayed, teh action speaking of a tedenr air determined to reset. The beauty of his timid unceritny overrook him as he adjusted agsisnt his chubby hips slightly.

"Whatever we do tonight, let's not bring or dig too much into things. Things are good. Things are good as they are, and I don't see any reason why they can't just-be that. In the way that makes sense to me and in the best way I can keep up with." His begging eyes turned up to you, wet and begging and full of a flowered protection of tenderness that you knew for a fct you could never find in such a fatherly kind of humbly soft human way -and he was of of those beings that reminded you of the permeant grief when it came to some thign neevr lasting; his exisitnece, the itnimacty that you were feeling as you cradled his hands on your wrists, of holding his troubeled mumbled raspiness and trouble in general throughout the night, being the main part of it.

You nodded, a smile rising up on your lip. Bojack's automatically emotional eys of uncertainty raised up as he watched you, ears flicked back as his hands squeezed onto your own for the first time that night.

"Agreed. Tonight, we do what feels natural and good for the both of us." Your hand whispered over his arm, and Bojack's lip raised into a tenderness as his own uncertain eyes, but building in their confidence, met yours.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to lie down and let me try to make this better for you-or do you want to take the reign."

Boack laughed, in a way that was somehow both tender and cocky at the same time as his eyes turned down.

"I don't know, superstar. Do you want to go to the bathroom first, get yourself washed up, start off clean and fresh before we do the dirtiest of the dirty tonight?"

His playfulness was possessing the curl of his eyebrows as he listed his eyebrows into a twist of a challenge. Your body eased off of the bed as your hands caressed against his own, feet landing onto the cool of the floor. As they did so you could feel one of Bojack's books and the hard corner edge of them hitting against the back of your heel; you felt a jolt of surprise wash through you. Bojack eased himself up and away from you as his ears flickered in question, fingers finding their nervous pattern on his wrist again as he watched you with both his wanted teasing and at the same time apology.

"You still have the same cloths I usually use?"

Bojack's eys threaded down into a reassured, playful and teasing glint. The heaviness of his eyelids eased downward as the allure of his own attraction, appreciation and safety he felt with your approval overcame his expression. "Same place as always."

His voice was comber and self reassured. Your body eased off of the bed Bojack stepping back as he watched you begin to make your way to the bathroom. You opened it up, leaning onto the spoltted grey door as you turned and looked over at Bojack. Already was he easing his white shirt off of his body, undoing the same routine you had done a few drinks and a few hours before Bojack had come to relaize that lack of organization was much more his style and preference. He breathed a sigh of a rasped relief as he threw the shirt onto the bed. Granted, the both of you were gifted in the rich aimlessness that came alone with being druekn and lost in the iniamcty and the collection of a bond that both of you had discovered in each other; it was hard to mind, when the richness of benign lost with someone was as rich and felt as human in an authentic way as much as it did with each other.

It was hard nott o get lost even just in the intimate dtails of the sheet that rested on the bed as he began to smooth it down with his hands, teeth poked out as hi eyes threaded over the mattress in his own concentration as his chubby brown arms eased agssint the white sheets. His fingertips played on his hand every now and then as he looked ti over, showing the brief existtience of that rich and considerate lover despite the collcecive trashiness of that of what could make up the majority of the superficial stereotypes most would throw at him. He turned to your direction as he paused in his human and minute concern of the sheets, fingertips playing on his hand as he watched you with ears perked up, as if suddenly aware of your watching.

"Meet you on the bed in about five?" His expresson raised into his playful flirting expression. His hand scratched behind his neck as he turned his eyes down, almost bashfully. "We want to make sure we can really own this place before someone comes along and makes it theirs. Obviously. I don't mind a hit and run, but-"

His rapsy and uncertain gentleness of his unfinished, gently mumbled sentence met his uncertainty as his hands played. Your hand caressed the handle as you eased your way inside as his eys lit up while he watched you.

"I'll be out faster than that, I promise."

The gentleness that came from uncertinery dressed in Bojack's eyes eased into a relief at your promise. Your hands grazed on the yellow handle as you shut it behind you, turning as you walked your way into the white tile of the decoration of the bathroom. Your eyes turned up as you took in the space of the white tub with its trace of gold that pressed around it, the speck of the white tile that made up the walls and the glass of the shower, the mirror that met your own face as you walked up to it and breathed dep as you took in the deeply embedded wrought exhaust of your own face; more than you would have expected it, the edge of the red agastin your eyes increased as you looked at the set of your unknowing into the mirror.

There was a deep wear on your face than you would have liked to think given the day and how it had been had; for all of Bojack;s superficial comments that you were aware of of how he responded to a woman that was anything less than conventional, you were surprised at how much he has looked at you as if with the ability to see right through the phyciclaity that he supposedly met the majority of woman with.

A hit of anxiety swept through you as you heard Bojack's clumsy rassp coming from outside, stumbling over his feet as he was clearly trying to keep himself together in whatever kind of sway of a cool disposition that could make up an otherwise uncertain man that seeemd more obvious, rather than less, the more he tried to cover it up.

"Easy does it. Pull the blankets in, everything's going to be fine. Tuck it in the curves, just like that. She'll like it." A sound of a bang that suggested him banging his foot, and the ease of a swear that left his lips- "Goddammit-stupif fucking christ of this stupid rotuine-" His words sucked in as a clumsy and unimpressive frustartion of a tone occupied the tone of his words. Your head turned down as your lips raised up into a grin; through more than any amusement did you feel that profound tenderness that only he could inspire from his specific clumsiness come over you. You turned your head over your shoulder as you gazed at the closed white door, breathing in as you closed your eyes and turned back to the mirror that started back at you and your own worn face that spoke of a stressed morning and even more worn and edged red eyes.

Your hands pressed on the white cloth as you wrapped it under the facurt, snapping it on with your hand as the water began to run while it soaked through the cloth. Your eyes turned up as it met to your own expression, almost serving as a challenge as the red edge of your eyes met into the look of your own while you allowed the hot water to run through your hands, at least once for the tike being serving as a soothing cleanse before you got lost in what was known as the chubby stout plumpless of Bojack's wamr embrace, of the whisky smell of his dry breath that spoke of a lifetime of trouble and the observation of it, of the array that ade up his exhausted and turned over form fo existence that had begged only for its freedom away from it at its core- whether from depth or from favorbale corimctances, the heaviness of the curelity of life and of the species that surrounded him would have been content with any. his teeth breathed through his teeth as his mane was loved on and healed through you while you tried to relearn to try to love someone profoundly, and even ore how to love someone as deeply as you did him more than you had ever felt with anyone.

The conflicted breathing from Bojack had ceased from behind you, and it was replaced by the occasional suggestion of his gentle breath, though still nervous, but slightly more self reassured as he eased himself around the bed. Your lip raised up as your eyes gazed back at the red tint of your expression as the cloth eased onto the side of you cheeks while you took it away from the running faucet. A flash of a gentle giggle flashed through your perception as your thoughts were fleeting with your own disgruntlement of the flashing of your thoughts while you tried to calm them with your hand easing onto your cheek. Your hand paused as it contuined to press in circle against your skin, but only for a moment before it restarted again, as unremarkable as much as anything ever was as it flashed through you. Considering the context of the conversation you had just occupied yourself and Bojack with, and how quickly it came right along with your conflicted desire that had been occupying mind for the night, though it was subdued by the contentment of benign around Bojack, as anything to do with him ever was when being around him and having the invitation to love him, it had still been at the forefront more than you ahd expected for what was supposed to be a superficial, no strings attached kind of comfort for what someone like Bojakc had come to consider and had been conditioned to think of as comfort.

Your head turned as you looked over at the white tub; there had already been a number of morrinings when the handsome curve of Bojack's wrinkles that rested on his face in that morning light and exhaust of a lack of sleep that he made look especially beautiful nd graceful occupied itself into the bathroom, his plump sotmtach easing upward from last night's alcohol or overeating, and the hevainess on his own features that came from the appete that followed it. Any shame or negative connotation that was associated with it fell away those morinings as the haviness that made up his features that only he could make as graceful and astounding as he did would ease away into something especially precious as the lightness on his face raised up as he pulled you into the gentle and densely predictable warmth of the water while he eased you into the embrace of his arms, pulling you close as you body had eased against the plump chubbiness of his body as the top of his snout found rest against your body as you had curled up and into him.

You sighed as your hand rested the wet cloth onto the bathroom sink. The distant laughter started again, but this time it hardly did anything to succsflly dissuade you; much like seeing the drawing of Harper and the childish but ultimate attempt at being abel to execute her body onto a sheet of paper that came from the complicated subconscious of Bojack, there had been no surprise that it felt like she was as much as yours as much as the idea of her was Bojack's. Much like the impressive and astounding spiritual way that he made you felt, there was also a gentle rest in it and what you felt you were discovering even as it made no sense to you, with no anxiety or demand for anything other than that it was-not unlike rediscovering an old home that was dressed up in its minute details that were made for you to refind that, although rested in memory for a time, had always been yours.

Th sound of Haprr and th distant giggling didn't lssn, and th only sound that was quvivilt to it in trms of how vivid it was was th sounf of th frustartd mumblings of Bojack that wr trailing from outsid. You allowed yourself to njoy th sound as th soft whimprs passd through your hadspac, if only for th fw brif omnts of rlif that it gav you just from th vitur of of hearing it, vn with how distant and othrwordly it soundd as it passd through your mind.

"Ok. asy. Just a littl tuck-Tk it asy, Bojack, you'll b fin."

Your lips turnd up as your had turnd ovr to th slightly crkd opn door that ld into th bathroom. Your hand prssd on th sid of th tub for th last tim, soaking in th softnsss that had mad up th morinings wr Bojack had curld you into him as his had had rstd on th top of yours, your hand curld in a natural fashion into th chubinss of his wrists, your body nfurld against th plump curv of his warm body as you wr asd agaisnt his mbrac and th two of you wre left with th gentle ese of what made up the inimiacty betweene the booth fo you where outside f it there was uncertintety and empty space, the smae trouble that had haunted Bojack on the pariucalty unforgiving morinings after a night that met into a special kind of unpleasantry with its own personal harrowing weapons and fears made specifically for him that were made deeper because of the isolation and the forgien alien feeling of what made up waking up into the indifferent stagance of isolation come morning in that empty house.

The clumsy mumbling of Bojack's voice while he tripped over himself and threaded his hands on the bed caused you to feel a sense of profound relief in that he always did; there was a natural gift of being centered that came along with knowing him and loving him, a natural draw of a settlement in reality. The tripping of his insecure and raspy words threaded through the bedroom as they became more prominent, easing into further prominence as you opened up the door and walked your way outward. The sight you saw gave you that warm centered tenderness to a profound degree as you eased your way outside into the blue light that swept over and into the bedroom, reading and reflecting against Bojack's skin while his plump body eased agaitn the edge of the bed.

He was breathing deep, sticky arms clumsy eased onto the bed while he leaned forward, curved stomach leaning over his hips as his ears lowered while his teeth poked out as worried troubeleed eyes turned over the bed. When he heard, or maybe it was rather felt, yourself making your way out of the bedroom door his eyes lifted up, vague fear inside of them as if he felt inheirnetly guilty for someone, ears lowered further back, mouth twisted against his lips, until he turned up and his eyes met yours.

His mouth eased up into a awkward squint as he lifted his eyes, raising himself upward as he did so as his back was comically leaned forward, hand rested on his back as he did what looked like the pretend act of stretching.

"Hey." His lips curved as his teeth flashed. "Long time no sleeping together, am I right?"

He was clearly nervous, though for what was beginning to surpass even your own understanding. He had been dressed naked in front of you countless times, his branwy and chubby skin, arms, and stomach all perfectly matching over to your vision that had executed their appreciation just as much as the touches of your hands on his arms, shoulders and thighs did while they eased onto his body. There was a paricualrly almost inhuman precious feel to the richness of how you felt about him, and the ease of how profoundly he wanted it and how he took it in while his rasped gentle breaths and the tension of the muscles on his features while his plump body eased against the edge of your hands while he panted under your touch with that paricualrty both tender and graceful pattern that he was capable of having while pain painted over his precious features that was almost painful in how rich and soft it was.

Still, inseciirty led and seemed to be weighing heavily on his body as he flased his own grin at you, eyebrows quirked into an expression that was clearly meant to be an ideal of a twisted curve of a sense of control.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" You glided your way with ease across the room, and Bojack's posture only limped slightly in his discomfort as he saw you walk your way across the room.

"Am I sure." He laughed, button eyes raised up. "Look at you. If I wasn't I wouldn't have made it this far. No one has the energy or the time for doing anything other than what they need to, honey." His eyelids lowered into his exasperated heavy font as he looked at you. "Especially when that time comes with compensating as best as you can before the people who are going to show up and probably make everything really stimulated, but not in the interesting way."

Your fingers eased on his hips. In his comical position that was meant to be an attempt of confidence, stomach poking outward with his back curved and raised up with his hand pressed against the middle part of his back, it was especially hard not to find that tender desire of want to love on him.

"You don't have to have them over if you don't want."

Bojack's eyes lowered down as he gave a shrug.

"Too to turn back now. The last thing you need besides meth heads coming over your house is meth heads who are also at your house and now angry at you too."

Your fingers threaded against the side of his palm and he turned his head to you. His comical position began to ease down as his ears lowered while a much more relaxed and natural position took his form as his wet eyes threaded and guided over you in his own naturally soft boyish searching.

"Well, no matter what happens, we both made one decision right tonight." Your fingertips caressed against the back of his hand.

Bojack's ears splayed the slight change on the muscles of his face tense as he gazed at you in question. "We did?"

"Making love to you is never wrong. Spending time with you never feels like a mistake."

Bojack's eyes lowered down as a soft smile began to easy onto his features. His eyes raised up, and there was that geunine profound tenderness and appreciation that overcam his expression again as his eeys enlighttned while his expressioed lifted up to you with an extra extension of lightness.

"You're beautiful." It came out more as a whisper, one that met in a particularly fitting fashion as the back of your hand eased against his cheek. Your fingertips found his black mane while yoru hand rested on the back of his neck, fingertips threading through the coarse of his black hair while his feautures were illumiated by the ease of the night outside that traced against his features. There was a light of something that changed in his expression as you spoke the whispered words, and an akwanrdness overcame his face, but, as it was with him ans the gradually chipping away of what he was learning, there was a change on his features that was executing that profound softness that you had always known he held in him.

"Are you sure you want to?" His voice had an extra extent of softness and consideration to it now as his eyes threaded over your features, ears lowered and the sadness spread across his face. "Do this?"

"Every day of my life I was already in love with you before I even know you. I thought about you, created around the concept of you, and I didn't even know it. I didn't need to, either-like all good things, it just was. The same way I love you; it just is." Your hand graduated away from where it was embedded agaisnt his mane as your hand glided over his skin, your hands finding their natural caress over one of the most farite and soothing places that your body had ever felt; the chubby mold of the slump of his shoulders and the feel of his arms against your palms.

"I don't know if I can believe that." There was an apology in his eyes that shined up with his melchcoly, and with the combination of your hand caressing against the chubby feel of his arm and the incessant gentleness of the feeling of his natural timid fragile build of body and the profound wet apology of his eyes with his ears lowered, the gentle apology of his tone and the fragility of the trembling tone of a naturally charismatic and intelligent man, you knew he could have killed you with how much you loved him-even justt he concept of him would have been enough to recenter you and ground you back to whatever strength you needed and wherever you had to be. His head shook as his eyes widened as the truth of his words raised into the air. "I'm sorry. I know it would be better for us both if I did, I just don't know how to hear that and to genuinely believe that there's any truth to it-"

His eyes turned down as he breathed shakily while his hands threaded onto yours, the reflection of the illuation of the blue hue easing agaisnt his eyes while the apology of his expression turned down to your hands as a gentle breath cut off whatever remaining words he could have come up with in the panic of his mind.

"You don't have to." His eyes turned up, and for all the wit and bluntness and the occasional natural savviness he did posses, you knew you had never encountered someone that had such an odd feeling of tendon carelessness about him as much as you saw in the illumination of the light of his sad wet eyes now.

"Are you sure?" Another shaky sigh left his lips as his worried eyes turned down to your hands. "You don't have to be here if you don't want to."

"Boj-"

"The decision I made tonight, these impulsive things I keep doing, its because I don't know what feels good. I don't know who I am in a lot of ways, and I don't know if I ever will. That's something that you're signing up for, every day of you life. Maybe even worse. I used to think that eventually there would, maybe, be some woman who would pt up with it, but I'm starting to realize there's no guarantee about that. Maybe there shouldn't be."

You didn't have words to jutisty how the inseicurty that was coming out of hisarray of inseciciurty that someone still seemed full of strength and grace in his own way, a natural admiration to it-but then, you knew you had been made to love him.

Your raised his hand into your grasp as your lips pressed on the top of his hand, kiss threading against it as you pressed your lip against the top of his hand. You kept your eyes on him as you opened your eyes while turning and looking up at you, fingertips caressed on the top of his hand as your eyes threaded between his own lowered ears and naturally profoundly saddened eyes.

"Let me make love to you."

The sick uncertainty in his eyes increased. "I don't know how."

Your eyes turned down as your fingertips threaded and caressed against his hand.

"I've noticed that you always get nervous before we make love."

"I wouldn't say nervous. More like…extensively thoughtful?"

His voice piped up right along with the raise of his lip. Your fingertips eased as they caressed on his hand while he looked at you with that timid uncertaint while you contuined to take in the detials of his expression an the shine of the light of his eyes while the blue light illuminated against his body and into those especially rich eyes.

"And I don't know why. But I think i can guess."

His eyes squinted into their underceritnety. "You can?"

"You don't have to be afraid of me knowin you, sweetheart." You eased your body agaisnt the soft plush of the drive of his body. Bojack's ears lowered as his eyes held all of his adroable uncanny uncertainty as you felt your hand easing onto his stomach, grapes gliding on his stomach as your hands gently caressed agasint the plump form of his body while you eased your body agaisnt his own. "Don't do that to me, or you, or either of us. You don't deserve that. I want to give you everything, and I want to know and love every part of you."

The sickly uncertain look didn't leave Bojack's expression. His eyes darted, expression guided up into pain as the pout on his lip increased while that natural deep conflcition on his eyes increased. There as so much beauty even in that and especially that, and his expression didn't lesson in his heat of uncerintety as his eyes turned to you, though they turned to the side in his attempt at being emotionally claden as much as he was able, stanaas of emotional exhust agaisnt his expression eevn as his mouth twisted and showed the hitn of his teeth through the twit of his handsome unceritny.

"I already told you I don't know how to do that?" The sadness in his already hevay and boyish eyes increased. Your eyes turned down as they threaded and squeezed against his hand.

"I don't either. I don't know how to love someone as richly as much as I love you. Maybe that means it's our turn and time to figure it out." Your hands squeezed agsisnt his own as his eyes turned downwad. "Can we do that?"

You lip trmebeeld and it was clear it was from the amount of emotional and wamr inimacty between the both of you. Bojack's sad eyes raised up as his ears lowered further downward, but a nod overcame him, though it didn't reach the confliction on his features or the sickliness on it; but there was so much profound potential there and beauty behind it that it hardly seemed as if it mattered in compassion to the bretahatking beauty that was waiting on the other side of his wall.

Your lips kissed against his hand again, not unlike the way someone would kiss or treat the most precious and profound intimacy of someone they treasured like a certain kind of emotional and romantic royalty. Your hands eased on his as you guided him over to the bed. Bojack placed on hand on his hip as he followed you while allowing his hand to be gudded by your embrace as you eased yourself onto the edge of it. Bojack followed you, his eyes turned downward as the reflection of his blue eyes illumted against the outside of the satiaatred lights. His heard turned to the side, and the tracing of the light against his snout eased against his troubeled eyes as he turned his head downward with a natural and seemingly permeant sense of exttensive guilt that made up his air. You felt the breath leave you at his lovable beauty as your hand eased against his, contracting and then embracing again, contracting and treading up in the journey of his hands, if only for the extent of being able to ease away some of that madness that was in you that came along with both being attracted to and loving someone as deeply as you did him in all of his profound grace and extension of the tracing of the light against his snout, the profound softness of his stomach and the stout lovabilitt of his body.

"I do feel it. That's the problem." His head turend back to you as you raised up your eyebrows while your hands squeezed on his palm. His keneedl his body down in front of you, sotmtach spilling out and with that specific carve of a line of fat that was between his pinched toegtehr chest from where that weight of his chest rested and the curve of his stomach was that you had spent now countless and yet not enough nights loving with your hands and fingertips as your hands, trembling fingertips and teeth caressed agsitn his skin.

Your head turned to the side. "Then why not just let it happen as it is? Why fight it?"

Bojack's eyes darted into a distance as he expression looekd away from you, though there was only empty reflection rather than anything that gave away genuine sense of seeing anything other than the blakc viel that made up his perspective of the world, and the only thing he could see a majaorty of the time. Your fingertips continued to caress on his hands, admittedly part in the madness of your own selfishness of the desperation of your attraction and the feeling beyond that that was even more profound, but mostly to keep him guided and with you as much as you were able. The more you saw his torment, contradiction and flaws the more you feel in deep, and as it was with all the best things in life and the things that made a life a genuinely human life and not just something that was a routine of husk of soulleness and lostness, it transcdned coherent understanding; it simply was, just as the way you loved him and felt that allure of profound protection simply was.

"I know that if I allow myself to fully believe it then that means I'm giving it power to exist even further." His eyes turned down, a clear battle in his eyes that was made up solely from what was going on in the extension of how own battle as his eyes were threaded into the exhaust of fighting it. "And every time I've allowed something that even remotely resembles this, every time I fall into it, I can't help but feel this warning of the promise that it'll only be for the worse, not for the better." His hollowed eyes, full of so much pain and defeat but richness right along with it, settled for turning back up to you again as his hand settled on yours. "In the past it's been bad enough, and that with with things that weren't even that-" He breathed in, his other hand scratching the back of his neck. "Great to begin with. It was just things I wanted to be great and hoped would be one day, and there was only a few times it was even halfway that." He paused as his melochoic eyes turned down to your hands. "Honey-I don't know if I'm brave enough to do this. Whatever that means or whatever that looks like. I don't know if I'm capable."

You breath in shakily, and though the sound was soft, it was just enough to meet Bojack with where he was at in his own disarrayed discomfort. His eyes turned up as the wetness of his distant eyes turned and met your own.

"That's the kind of sound someone makes when they agree with the sentiment of what was just spoken."

You shook your head, your lips raised into a reflective smile as your hands squeezed against his own.

"That's the sound someone makes when someone is seeing the person they were always meant to love and can't even understood just how lucky they are to be able to take them in for everything they are."

His eyes turned down, dry in his own want of indifference.

"Right."

Your brought his hands inward, and though the expression in his eyes was full of a deep melancholy of grief and there was a permeant extension of apology in his expression, he eased forward, allowing his cheek to be met by your lips. That distant dread didn't leave his expression, but he breahed his own shaky breath as he felt the way your lip rested on his cheek, shakily breathing as he allowed his hands to en curled against your own palm, your lips pressing against his cheek as every which was nostalgila of him had ever molded you in the past came to the forefront of an action of finally being able to execute it.

"Insecurity, worries, everything besides."

Bojack turned his snout until it was rested against your face.

"I don't think any of this means what you think it does. I'm never going to feel better, be better, do anything in a way that's healthy, or stable. I'm never going to be able to give you smoothness, an easy life emotionally. I've been Bojack forever. I always will be. That's the problem, and it always will be.

"Bojack." You laughed as you spoke the name while it left your lips, easing against the side of his cheek while the simple word that sounded like the first time that he wanted to hear the same and that felt like words of pleasant strength rather than of any negative connotation breathed out of your lips as your face leaned against his cheek. Another press of your lips against his cheek, and that, with the combination of your hands guided and threaded as they squeezed on his palm, and the way his plump curved slouched body was eased against your touch as his own heavy sighs met up against your intimacy, he knew it was the only way that he ever would have been able to feel that name spoken and to have it be a reward rather than inherent punishment. His eyes stayed unfocused and distant as they threaded into a profound exhaust of his own consideration while his hands kept threaded on yours.

"Bojack, the only thing you could do to make me desotyred by you is to not let me love you."

"I don't know-and I know I've stated this and have made it clear but I just want to be extensively clear-how to do that."

His voice was trembling with inseucicity as he spoke, the beauty of his rapsy comber tone only adding to the depth of his words, though they were wrough with pain. The tone of his voice shaken as he turned the exhaust of his puffy and sickly eyes and deep bags against his expression as his snout curved against your face. His eyes turned up, ears lowered as his expression in its melcocloy fragile sickness eased up to your own. Your hand eased against his cheek as you took him in in all of his melancholy as he turned his eyes downward, ears lowered as you allowed him the space to speak his truth; trembling desperation, exhaust, melancholy and everything else at its full power. That was the best thing you could give someone as wounded and as extensively suffocated in himself and his suffering as much as Bojack; to simply let him speak and to feel the full extent of his insecurities and sadness.

"Honey." His ears lowered further as his body eased onto his thighs as he looked down, compelling reflection in his almond eyes as the blue light reflected inside of the room. "I don't think I can allow myself to be loved by you. I don't know if I can, or if I want to." A blunt grunt left his lips as his eyes turned down as he gazed on his palm, contracting in his subcocnious conflcition as he looked down at his hands. "Not if It;s going to lead to you being what I know will happen."

Your hands reached against the side of his plump hips, and he turned his head up, eyes profound in their softness while his teeth poked out. You eased his body against your hand as you started to guide him further onto the bed, and he followed, his body eased against your own.

"You're not fighting this." Your hands pressed on his hip as he grunted while he was pulled against the bed, plush thighs curling agasint your embrace as your fingertips pressed on his hip.

"I never would."

"Funny, for someone who says that they don't want to."

"A bluntness to the contradiction, though for someone convinced that they were only someone who went after what was wrong, there wouldn't be a contracitoion as much as it would be the guy who was a piece of shit and didn't care to change it."

"You could never destroy me." Your lips pressed agaisnt his cheek as you eased the plump of his body further agaisnt your embrace while your hands kept guided on his skin. The whisper of your words against his cheek guide through him as he breathed shaily while eased onto you, though there was a certain kind of natural stout confidence to him that never seemed to leave, despite what wrecked he was on the isnide. Bojack was a man of opposite messsags that were somehow all true at the same time, and each one held the same exsscence of profound lovability as far as you could eevr see. "Do you feel it?"

His eyes turned so that his worried and qusioning expression met your one. "Feel what?"

"How different it is. You mentioned that the way you felt with me and for me was different."

"Oh. Well."

"Wouldn't that transcend over to what happens along with whatever way it might fall apart, if it ever does?" Your hands found their way onto his palm again as they squeezed, and Bojack's ears lowered down as he searched yours with his own exhaust and question.

The pain in his eyes increased as he turned his eyes downward.

"Bojack, this is different." You brought his hands over to your lips as you kissed them. Bojack breathed deep as his own wet eyes turned over to your hand as it pressed against his palm. "This is somehtng neither of us understand or know how to expereince."

"Isn't that…terrifying?"

"Not if it's you." Your lips pressed against the chibiness of his palm as your fingertips threaded against his hand, and your hands eased away from your lips as it pressed on his palm while your eyes turned up to meet the distant expression of Bojack's eyes as they threaded inward against the fight that was in his eyes, though, as it as with all things with Bojack, it was already made into a certain kind of soft sadness. "You give me strnegth. You are my strength. I want to be family with you."

Bojack's eyes closed as the muscles on his face cramped.

"I know that's a dirty word for you."

"No. It's just-" He breathed in an intake of breath as he sighed shakily. "I'll ruin the..family. Or any family. Even if it's just you and me, it doesn't matter. I'll poison it, ruin it, I'll sabotage it. I don't know what it will look like, but it will be something, and that's what I mean. I can't start a family, a bond, or even think of it. It's too terrible, to feel what I do with you and to think that I'll just-" The sentence paused in the shakiness of how he spoke while his eyes turned downward and met against the embrace of your hand. "I'll ruin it. And you think you can handle it or that you won't mind-but you don't know what you're talking about. And I don't want you to figure out firsthand what that actually means."

"Bojack, you could never ruin any family I had with you."

His head was taken aback as the muscles on his face twitched with disbelief. "You don't know that."

"You are the family. You can't ruin it, you are it. There would be no family without you."

"Yeah." Dry exhaust overtook his tone as he eased his eyes downward. "Tell that to whoever else would be put into the picture. That girl-Harper, she's just an idea. An idea that I can't, and never should, have."

"No matter what the family was, who was included and who wasn't, no matter what it looked like, it wouldn't matter. You are the family. You make the family, sweetheart. I don't want to jump too far ahead but if we had girls-"

Bojack winced, and there was a washed of emotion that overcame his eyes, but for the most part he stayed stoic as he took in the words of what the both of you thought, your hearts interlaced and connected in the intention of your wants whether you meant for it or not, the same way the trails of your mind and thoughts had been a reflection of being his partner before you had even known it.

"If we had girls. Or any kids-if anyone was involved in the picture. It wouldn't matter what happend. I would love you through it, unconditionally, the same way I've always wanted to. You wouldn't be able to destroy the family because you are the family. I wouldn't be or know howto without you, and the kids would know that-they would always see you the way I do and they would only love you deeper the same way that I do through that."

Bojack's expression was settled as unreadable for a moment before the light in his eyes began to dim, the expression on his face paralzed as he took in the words. The understanding of what was going through his mind was overtaking him as he stayed in that profound illuminated grace for a amoment, the blue light caressed against his snout as the illuminated and threaded against his eyes that cold have endedyou with how sad and tender they were; and then, ust as you knew it and he did, his face twisted into an ugly tiwst of ovwehwlming emotion as his face broke out into a well of tears.

He was pulled forward by your arms, his head encased into the curve of your neck as his body sobebd agsitn the side of your emrace. You pulled him in, a certain practice to the way your body eased him inward as your hand ghosted against his back while you pulled him in. His sobbing laced agasint your neck as his expression twisted and poted against your body, head leane dinto you as closed your own and entered your own personal contrived heaven while your hands eased onto the trembling of his back as his breath hiccuped against the curve of your neck.

'You are the family. You are right now. You're the very thing that would make up the core and the essence of it."

Bojack's head grazed against the side of your neck. His arms wrapped around your embrace as his snout tremebeld on your shoulders, the expression on his face twisted as his hands guidided against the trembling of your back while his own breaking out of emotions caused his body to heave against your body.

"I wouldn't be without you. You can't ever be anything other than the family that you're made for, sweetheart, and you were made to be loved. And I'm so sorry it took me so long to find you and tell you that, to bring that to you." Your head turned to the side as your lips grazed agsisnt the side of his cheeks that were worn and aged with the bloat of his head as it eased agaisnt your shoulder, his body heaving against the form of your chest as the sobbing went through him, more of desperate and broken breaths than anything else as his arms stayed clasped agssint your body. "You are my family, you are the essence of it, and I would be lost without you. That dosen't either change or get worse just because we brought more life into it, darling-if anything, I can't see how they wouldn't love you."

Bojack's wreckage of his onslaught of emotions, unnatural with the way it had hit him that spoke of a certain unforgiving and unhealthy shield to it hat had caused them to implode in an especially unnatural way, began to ease as he breathed deep and gudided his snout against your body, hands eased downward astrembling hands guided against your back. Your fingertips rested for intetiwning agsisnt his mane as you closed your eyes while you allowed his body to begin to ease, his head turned over to the side as you felt him let out another rasp before beginning to come back to the controlled extent of his emotions as much as he was able to as his body eased against your own.

"It's so easy. Or it should be. Life is so easy." His voice tremebeled as his head turned onto your shoulder. "That's the problem-from the start, I was amde to believe that life was this traumatizing, impossible, unforgiving thing-and in a lot of ways maybe I was right."

"You had everything robbed from you. I just wish I could have found you. In any that I was able to."

"I could never figure out why life felt so impossibly difficult. It was always like it was on extra hard mode for me while everyone else just sped by so easily. It was like I was living a different life entirely from everyone else, and I always thought I needed to be this rich, confident, incredible amazing guy-and I was, in a lot of ways. And I got sex and woman and everything that would have made me exceptional-but there was this grief to it that I felt I had to work so hard just to have something that seemed to just be gifted to everyone else. And when I did get…it, whatever nae you want to ccall it that people can't seem to live without or are able to forget about and that motivates people to do anything, it was just the imitation of it. Not the real thing." His head turned the side of your face, his cheek caressed against the side of your cheek as he did so as he gave a shaky breath while his hand paused on your body. "I don't know how else to be or what to do outside of that. And I don't think I ever will."

Your body began to ease away from having Bojack in your embrace as you eased your body from where you were both intertwined agsisnt one another's bodies. His head turned down as it titled as your hand kept on his cheek while he gazed into you with that boyish gentleness in his eyes. The sheets were already curled against the mattress as they enfodled against your bodies as he kneeld int he middle of the large bed that had spoken of the very emptiienss that had haunted him as he sat in the middle of the entangeeld grey sheets that were as empty and monotoned and predictable as much as the connections, or lack thereof, had occurred in them.

Your head turned to the side of the mattress. "Come on." Your fingertips reached out as they guided Bojack's hand onto your fingertips as you eased your body downward and onto the curl of the sheets. Bojack began to follow, his eys squinting this time in exhaust from the crying that was already reduced back to the dryness of his eyes as he turned to the window as his plump body eased forward and followed you. Your had srested on his shoulders as he turned to you with the profound softness and lost nature in his eyes as your hands threaded on his own. "Lets make love while we can."

A small smile met his lips, and though it spok of th lack of blif h would hav of it giving him any genuine belif anytim soon, th sntimnt for th bing bing of th small process was enough-and you had nvr sn somon who had such a harrowingly lost and swt motion that naturally inhbaiatd his ys as much as Bojack.

"Got to get the peace while we can, right?"

His voice was gaining that natural sopshication again, that of which had been one of the many elements that had caught your attention to begin with. There was the sound of a clogged tone to his voice that came from crying that made him sound especially adorable as your hands eased him further to you by the white pillows.

His had had tilted down as h had spoken the words, innocence turned against his prvioulsy washd ovr and broken eyes that wr still collecting thmslvs from how thy had falln into th wet tmprialry break out of his eyes. There was a beauty in him that was so profound that it took you away with how ethrenal it mad you fl, but for all th cold dtcahamnt th world had mt him with, it seeme lik it had bn mad only for you spcifcially to mt against; especially lonely, but all th mor richr as th both of you fll into your intimacy that was on another that soled vry question or problem that came along with being human, and th final answer of how you had both finally com to find it; such a simpl answer, but even harder to find.

You smiled to yourself in that way that was watery with the emotion that lathered against your lips as Bojack's snout eased onto the curve of your face. There was still some wt that was lathrd across his skin that had com from th implosion of th breakout of tears that restd on his cheek. It was a rar occasion, and on that wouldn't happn again in th spcififc thread and narrativ of how it had happnd now, and that mad it all th mor asotudning as you mad another stp towards undrtdanding th lov and purpos th wayward and lost, confidnton th surfac but trembling uncrtinty that mad up Bojack was.

Bojack breathed in deep whil h gave an eased his Bojack against th curve of your own, pulled into you as h gav a sharp intake of a breath whil his body eased onto your own. His plump aroungs wrappd around you, and your hands found your place by th back of his body as you eased him into th curv of your body. The was still th occasional sound of his panting that still suggstd a struggl with his brath, both from motion as wll as th tnagiabl struggl h had with th combination of the intimacy of your bodies and the force of the heaviness of the promise he flt that was mor than h knw what to do with.

His had turnd to th sid as th plump stoutnss of his body firmly found its way by your embrac, cheek curved to th si of your fac as you flt that tourbld trmbld breathing,xcutd vn further from th way his back wa sbrathing heavily against th palm of your hand.

"I'v bn waiting to lov you for so long." Your promis brathd agaisnt his aars that flt so good to speak, and his body brathd further onto the curv of your sotmtahc whil th eplump having of th cruv of his stomach asd against your own. Your had turned o the side as your lips guided agaisnt his ar, mouth gently carssd agasint the tip of the fragility of his ar as h turnd his head to the side and allowed his body and its movmenents to spak that he wanted it. There was a pain there with what he was allowing, and it eased further into how he peanted against the curve of your body with his stout hands graed agaisnt your body.

"Good for me." He panted through the rasp of the words. He seemed like a body, reduced to the innocence of what made up a complicated exterior of physical success and intimacy that had now been reduced to the genuine breakage of his emotion as it lathered under his breath. "It's the response to the other part that I keep worrying about."

"I'll be fine. I've been waiting for the permission to love you, phsyucally, the way that I've always craved for the longest time. I didn't even know it."

His snout grazed against the curve of your shoulder, breath panting in his labored exhaust from fighting whatever it was that made him a heavy man to carry, even for himself. His room around him, cold, grey, and empty in its exterior in and of itself even with the outside light hat spileld in through the large walls and satuaarated against them, had enough of its discarded lack of care that you had come to memroize over the past few months as you had taken in the general details of wht made up a life that was meant to serve as distractions from the emptiness of his real one. Even as you had become more intertwined and richly woven into his life, you had lost count of the morinings where you woke up to discarded ciagerrtetes that had been pulled on by his own pouted and troeubeled mouth throughout the night, tissues that had come from more than just whipping off whatever sweat had formed between both of your intimacies as his own chubby brown arms had slideded away from wrapping around you, sheets interwoven with past woman's lipstick thrown onto the stains that made up the white sheets from his closet that spilled out every now and then from the cracked open closet doors that would be met with a slew of his frustrated swearss as he caught them spilling out from their quick and shoved impatience in the middle of the night.

The entire space of his room spoke of the desperation for distractions of the meaningless empty space that surrounded him otherwise that spoke of discarded empty space of a life that reflected how unlovable he had been considered by the majority that had known him-or rather, hadn't, but as it had come with all things and espcially people in that lonely staurtrated and busy town, just as all places were in their dresssed up refflections of what made up the messiness of the human expereince and the inherent flaws of its existence, had neevr really bothered or taken the time or the care to get to know him at all, but rather had used him for the minute distraction and entertainemtn they could get from whatever dance he paritpciated in, and the emptiness of the life that had been left no matter what effort he had ever made to give himself something otherwise had only served as an increasing more tense reflection of the exhaust that he was et in his beilderment of what was inherently wrong with him that emptiness and superficality was the only thing that had ever met him in all his experiences and relationships in life, all leading back to at the end of the day the cold, grey bedroom of the grey walls and discarded items that made up Bojack's disassocaited detachement.

Bojack's body contuid to thread against th sid of your body as his breathing incrasd, brath labord against th curv of your nck as your closed your and allowed th bittrstnss to wash ovr you. Hr couldn't hav ver ben anything that wasn't more good than bad in the midst of what made up loving him and feel that inherent bond made for one another, but there was a bittersweetness in that house that made up the majority of the space that, rather than loving through it until it the warmth of the confidence of a healthy person who was deeply and resoundly loved was met, there was only empty space of a permeant kidn of modlien gof weakness and pain that coud have love threaded through it, but that decades of what had molded Bojack's life would always be present and waiting on the other end. You could love through it until the pain was more of an afterthought rather than something that was genuinely the only essence of what made up his bittersweet life and the handsome tragedy capture of his body physically and emotionally, a certain profound humanity of a deep and painful mediation that had made up the brand of his life, but you would never entirely release him from the shackles that made up his painful and disturbed thought, and yet-that was also were your genetless and your profound sense of the unconditional love rested at its cor essence.

"Don't rush into it, baby." The petname was one thta simply slipped out, and though the col and detached capture that made up Bojack;s essence by default was one that would have spoken a certain contempt towards having that name dedicated to him, he only let out another shaken breath that spoke that the iron wall of detchamenet he had needed and associated to live was trembling down around him as his body threaded further onto yours with the heavinsess of his weight that leaned onto the curve of yours. Your fingers laced into the coarse of his man as his panted against your body while you could feel how hard he was between your legs, the soft curve of his stomtahc that stuck out over your hand adding to the reminder of just how precious and fragile he was in his own pathetic way that had seeme suited and perfectly modled to shape and come after what he needed and wanted from you; a tormented and uncetrain man who had been given more than the average person could have stood anyway, and given to the man with the deepest and most tender naturally bred heart, twisted overtime into something less rich especially with how it was precieved by the majaorty, and his own beleief and doubt from it, and you, with a rich compact mind that had been made to meet up agaisnt his quick wit and dry perception, only to be met with his own disassociated uncertainty that made up the overwhelming nature of life, the aimlessness defined and met up on its home with what you gave him in the compact of your mind that had always been too heavy for any necessary progression.

"I'm not trying." His voice was strained with attempt as he turned his head to the side, his hand reaching up to where your own much mpre slender form was met against the shubby raise of his hand otno your hips. He was still panting in his overwhelmed nature and his eeys squinted while ears lowered as his hands reached over and inebtween your thighs, breathing deep as he did so while his hands rested against the side of you thighs. "I just want to make sure we can get it right before-" He pasused a he breathed deep.

"Don't worry about them. It'll happen the way it'll happen and we'll worry about it later."

His expression scratched as his eyes closed. "Not just that." His concentration in his eyes increased as he squirted his focus against your thighs while his hands threaded onto your legs. He turned his eyes upward to you again, questioning and gentle with his teeth poked outward as he gazed at you in question. You nodded, and you felt your own sobriety meet his expression as you felt his profound pain wash over you again.

Somehow Bojack, or rather the specific beauty that made up the life he had made for himself, as bittersweet and as conflicted as it was, or maybe it was the narrative of himself -you had a feeling it was a combination of all of them, was the extension of someone who felt like the some humble human pain and extensive nostalgila that you had ever taken in, and the emotion an the powerful wave of just how inherently meaningful existence suddenly seemed because of who he was was enough that it seemed like it took you away to somewhere you had forgotten, but had always lived in in the ways that mattered; and to be reintroduced to the concept of the bittersweet isolated home of what made him up now was the most overwhelming and profound emotion that made you feel as if it was an entire worthwhile life in and of itself.

"I want to do this right." The determination in his eyes increased as he turned his head downward, hands caressing against your legs as he did so while pained eyes threaded onto your skin right along with his timid and carved in stout fingertips. "Before..whateevr happens, happens." He shrugged, head turned to the side while his melancholic and exhausted eyes turned away from you for a moment, sunken firmly into the age of his cheeks. "If there's any pattern that I've noticed, it wouldn't be the one people who be quick to trip over themselves to point out. It would be the one where there's people coming and going, but they're always going for a reason. So-" He breathed in, popping his lip as he turned his own dry eyes back to you; extensively admirable, if only for the fact that there was so much genuine compelling human truth to the exhaust of them. "Maybe its good that I'm doing these weird, impulsive things for the sake of being able to blame it on whatever bad thing happens when it does eventually happen. At least that will make it easier for the both of us when it falls apart."

"Sweetheart."

"Rather than the stark knowing of the fact that I did something to make you maadjusted."

You closed your eyes as your head shook, your hand still rested on the back of his neck; as if that would have given him any closure or grounding with the natural black dispair of the narrative of his thoughts that haunted him so easily.

"It's ok." He was swaying, and the detachment that made up a tormented inner narrative, whether justified or not was hardly the matter; it was what it was regardless-increased, and it was clear from the maddening detachment and the sickness that made up the dilated pupils in his eyes and the messy array of his mane that was threading and messed with your fingertips only served to remind you that the alcohol, as well as the rest of theimspulive decisions he had made that was clearly now making itself clear was his own desperation for the successful distraction he thought was going to follow him, threaded through his body and air as he kneeled himself dwon and pressed on your thighs.

"Either way, here comes Bojack ready to enter into your legs for a night of deseprate inimacity. Here we go."

Your eyes fluttered closed as he eased himself into you, your head tuned back ashe began to rock his hips on yours. The pleasures shot through your body, though the comfortbaility and the pleasure of it was more from the emotional assocaiton you had with everything he did and was coming from a place of profound love and the extension of how incredible that love was, that everything associated with him at its core was the root of something good. Bojack, as practiced as he was at sex, had a cecrtain clusmy awkardness to him that for all the times he had done this same routine with woman, there had been an insecuirty to everyway his body had rpessed agsitn every single different woman's preferences. You could tell every time he touched you, and your bodies were ceritnely weell endowed and well met at this point an you knew the curves of how his stout and plump body perfectly matched agaisnt your own, and the comfortbaility and success of how you soothed into one another was only made even further from the practice and the success of it, but every time he touched you there was a narrative of someone who seemed not entirely unlike someone who was heriently timid and went with the narrative that what they did was inherently wrong. With every woman he had ever touched there had been a detachment of disgust that had followed them as they had slapped his unceritny, and though he had had plenty of his own challenges as a partner and someone who had his own expectations, there had been an exhausted hatred from his end; he had sensed from the start that every woman he had ever slept with hadn't been for him, an inherent disgust that came from more than just weariness and depression and the natural disgsuted apathy that met along with that. This had been more about the knowledge that none of those woman had been meant to love him in the specific way Bojack was meant to be loved; such a specific narrative in his complex and naturally artistic mind that the superficial woman, just as easyil distracted with cheap stumlatuions and practices as much as any man, had already been able to be seen right through from Bojack, who had possessed a certain kind of third eye of emotional wisedom.

His hands trembeld agaisnt your hips as he was already breathing deep. The adorability of how easily out of breath he was, the profound depth of his eyes that gave away and garderned the idea of someone who cared too much, the handsome and almost intimating troublesome handsome carve of his snout and his general array of an expression as his eyes squinted while he turned his head downward and panted against his pratice as he eased his body into yours. His stout and plump thighs were caressed against your body as he breathed in his troubeeld breath as his head eased downward, ears lowered.

"Just let me…" He waved his hand as his eyes squinted as his ears lowered. "We can do this." He flashed you a quick strained grin, though it disappeared just as quickly as he took another shaken breath.

"It feels incredible." You laughed, in that tender way that spoke permission for him to be as clumsy and as insecure as he was. You pulled in his face, your fingertips lacing against the wet moisture that made up his cheek and the rest of the dryness of it as your fingertip threaded onto his skin. "Don't think about anything other than what got us here to begin with."

"Sure. Turn off-not thinking. Totally shut down. " He made an indiction of him taking an invisible key and locking his mind as he tossed it to the side his hand. "Entering not caring mode-starting right now."

The end of your lips curved up as your hand guided onto the back of his head while you pulled him in. He breathed his lord breath on yours, falling into the welcome you gave him as easily as you gave him permission for it as his plmp thighs rested around your hips. Even just the feeling of his tender, adorable curve of a stomach as he breathed heavily against your hands was enough to make you shiver with intimacy as your head turned back while the curve of the heaving of his stomach eased onto your lap. Though he was till deeply inside of you, as natural as it had come to have that intercourse from the intertwining of your bodies that had come to practice, the rocking of what he had given you had been moe uncertain-lazy, on some nights, when he has fallen into that spoiled and adorable begging for you to be the one to make love to him-your favrotie practice and dynamic as he looked up at you with those questioning wet and adroable eyes and the wiggle of his eyebrows while h lied on the pillow and teased with with his insecure anf soft boyish words; that was your favorite dynamic for the both of you.

Tonight it was clear Bojack wanted control, or at least the idea of control. There was a jealousy that was mixed in with the desire to make people envious that came laog party with his intentions for the night, and it was clear, that as much as he could in his timid pathetic and easily wrought up torn way, that he was trying to be the true side of the relationship where he felt he needed to be the strong leadership of what a man was thought of to be. He did have a naturally maslcine presence to his expression even as it was twisted into a pathetic heavy breathing now as his teeth poked out and his eys closed in exhaust, and you were drawn to both ends, and you knew that when it came to relief and happiness and functionality for the both of you, it was a matter of having him believe in the wonderment and capability of both.

"I can make love to you if you want." Your lip pressed against the side of his ear as he panted. The room was now entirely bathed in the black indifference of the night as your hands caressed against his back. He breathed as there was a pause in the heavy pant of it.

"This is an opportunity for the both of us to have something that most people don't get." He collected hismelf enough that his voice had that wise and somber feeling to it again. You blinked gently as your hand caressed agsisnt his back as you allowed himt o speak. The part of his boy inside of your legs was eased down now, a peaceful intimacy that had the full extent fo the most human feeling and experience ever possible; the simplicity of having both bodies and your minds and the attraction of your love for one another on the same page.

"I've seen what other people don't have. I lived with them. People who know that they shouldn't have taken things for granted so much when they were younger and now their lies are just..these stupid, mundane regrets. And no one cares, and they don't have the power at this point in their life to make any changes. I thought that was me. That is me. And what this is-what I feel-if anything happens and it ends up being my fault. I won't be abel to take that. Or survive it, or function without it."

"I know." Your voice whispered agsisnt the side of his ear as you turned to the side and allowed your lip to graze on his ears. "That's why I want to show you that what we;ve discovered; it might be enough to save and help the both of us. But you have to give us both the space of breath and the expanse of it to allow us to both believe that we can. Not to fill it up with distractions or where you can place other things in blame."

"I don't know if I can do that. Because that means if anythin goes wrong, if there's not enough people around the at least lessen what happened, whatever that is-"

"You're being so aware of it. That shows already just how much you're capable of."

He breathed deep as his body eased onto yours. His voice was raspy with that profound humanity and the inherent pain that came along with it, his eys flowered and wet and gentle, his body plush and warm. He was your home, but he had shackles of how the world and people had wrecked him over he knew it.

"If anything goes wrong. I won't have anything to blame if there isn't enough noise around me. I know how my brain works. If I have rough going on around me and things fall apart of it shit goes wrong; maybe I can try to lessen it. I'll know it was me, of course I will, and I wouldn't pretend I wouldn't. But-" His hands caressed on your own palm as he eased his body away from your own, ears lowered as he gave a whine while the profound desperation of his wet eyes met yours. "At least; and that will make it easier. When I'm left with nothing but my own thoughts and think about why I have that failed emptiness again."

"You won't have to." Your hands gripped on this coarse hair as your palm eased downward. Bojack's eyes closed as a timid exhaust or regret overcame his expression, breathing in as if to reset. "The more you think and torture yourself, the more ture its going to feel."

"If it feels so good now, I can't imagine what its going to feel like when this is gone." There was an urgency to his voice now as his tender timid eyes widened, and you knew that there was a reminder that Bojack, as much as it made him suffer, had an attachement to his pattern and the fmaialirty and even the dread of it, even and especially because it caused him so much pain, in his own off ironic way that led to at least the warmth of famialirty of it, no matter how dull it was on the other side of the end conclusion of it that he had come to associate as his identity, and in that was there an inherent comfort.. "Please let me have this. This promise of these patterns so I have something to lean on when I screw up."

Your eyes closed and your head turned downward. There was a certain silence of defeat from your end that spoke of your own exhaust of how much Bojack's own torment of himself extended to your own. Bojack breathed in, gently, exhausted, as his own tormented eyes turned down, met by the puffy exhausted thread of his black bags and eyes and the wrinkles that ensued under them that had been born and bred into a world he had never wanted anything to do with, adn frankly, the feeling was mutual, and he knew it. His hand pressed on your own fingertips as he too charge of the intimate romance for once, his fingertips sliding agsitn the spaces of your own as he slide you upward, fingertips encased into the spaces of youown as he guided your hand up and sqqueezed.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for being here. That's what I'm trying to say in my own shitty way."

Your head shook, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed, muslces on your face tense with exhaust. There was a smallness to your physical intimaicty, one that spoke of you being delicate with the richness that you had and felt with your love for one another, and knowing how inherently delicate it was that small movements that were as soft and tender as much as the emotion was the best way to thread through the subject of Bojack's complicated wreck of that of which you felt you had been made to love though.

"You never have to label yourself as whatever made you feel like you had to label yourself with the negativity other people see you as just for the sake of making the level field comfortable. You don't have to do that with me. Whatever survurial practice you had with them, you don't need to do it now.

Bojack laughed softly, and a sweetness entered his eyes while his hands threaded on your own as his fingertips enclasped on yours.

"That's cute." His eys turnd up as the soft tender helplness drenchedin grautuitide met yours. "Thank you. But-in the right way this time."

Your hands threaded as they eased onto his while they guidded onto his palm as you kissed them. You kissed him as if he was something that was the equiveieknt to a precious stone or one of the most cheriehd people on earth; it was so at odds with the way thinsga actually were that it almost served as a disbeleief of who people saw him as verses the irrplcabale preciousness of how you treated him, a thread of excess disoassction that made up the perception of how you saw him verses how others and himself did. Another chuckle left Bojack's lips, one that was drenched in a certain exhausted disbelief, and a reflection that made up that prfoudnly deeply artist that made up his mind and his reflection of how he took in the never ending busy city that he tried to emulate for his own comfort reflected in his squinted wet almond eyes that were drenched by the outward light of the reflection of the city as they became distant with what had made up the extneisbly profound and emotionally complex nights of what had made his capture of a complicated reflection of a headspace.

"I used to go for these..walks at night. They weren't really walks as much as they were Bojack Is Sick and Very Needy For Some Fresh Air time, but-still walks. I used to walk around the city buildings at night and just take them in."

Your lips raised up, genetless prominent in your eyes as the warmth met yours that was both teasing and served to prove you were listening at the same time as your fingertips threaded on his mane. "Through the blurriness of the drunk vision, you did this?"

"Manily." His eyes turned down, and his chubby palms were consistently threaded by the gentle caressing of your hand as his eeys squined while he went through his own detached melchcolic thought. "But that ws part of it, in a sense. I used to stumble down those empty streets and see the warm light that made up the houses of where other people lived and just…took it in. The occasional sex the men would have through the widnows while i swayed and watched them, their bodies that would throw the curviest of the curvy woman against the yellow lightof their windows while they shamed them and just…didn't seem to care. About any of it, in general. I would stumble through the houses and trip over himself and sway him arms out. Some nights I feel, some I didn't, it didn't really matter, nobody was ever out after a certain hour anyway. But I used to feel this surrealuty overcome me whenever I walked down my own street at night. I looked throug the widows of the men, its always men that live in these high rooftop buildings and these people that are able to come to power because of whateve extra gigs they got to have these kind of houses and the location where you can literally see the endless extent of Los Angeels from the average person on top of those Beverly Hills. Like you're overlooking all of it and you can see just how small and beautiful, gentle and grateful everything is and loud and nosy and uncaring and stupid-and eveything else. But overall whenevr I stood in between those intervals between houses, after watching those men stumblign around sick and drunk at nigth before they woke up in their robes the nex day and stumbled around their large, empty houses while the woman tiptoed out of another sweat induced forgettable night to tweet about and tell their podcasters, or their girlfriends, or whatever-I remember feeling this sense of this grief and peace come over me while standing on the edge of those houses and the backyards. I would look out over at the expanse that makes up Los Angeels with the red and orange lights and the yellow glint and the lights of what makes up the business of the city-and it could have been the whiskey, but I felt like I was seeing the entire expanse of the place I always knew were I belonged while I saw it expand in front of me. I paused in my stumblign and would jut stand there, taking in the scope of the city that I knew I didn't deserve the view of. That beauty of the nostalgia of the city would hit and wave over me more than I ever knew what to do with, nosgtilia ans appreciation and sadness and lonliness while I looked over that polluted, melochic sky. It seemed like it was agreeing with me, in a weird way, with how inherently sad the city and the sky was the the buildings adn the budiness of the people around me I've lived around with for years but couldn't recgonize from the back of my own hand if I was asked."

Your fingers were pressed agsitn his palm, guiding against the extension of his own palm while you heard his somber and raspy reflections as he spoke them in his own relfecive melancholy. As it was with all things with Bojack, and as it was with the way you loved him and how much you both felt equally tormented from existence and what existence and people and brough and reduced the both of you into, you both felt that small and intense releief and expanse of home and relief from and within one another; a reflection of two people who were made so perfectly to love one another that you were both sides of the same coin, a reflection of the most healing and fulfilling thing anyone could ever be, an embidometn of a shared expereice of experience brought togetehr fully from the understanding of the same language and love. There was the encourgament of the saftery for him to go on; where he had felt his monolpuges could only be spoken to to strangers' eyes and the safety net of a drunken detathement, there was the constna tpromise of fulfilled safety that you gave to him that he could feel guidning through him.

"I can see it." Your lip pressed on his hand.

"You do?"

"The beauty of it, the way you come to see it with your own eyes; I can see it in front of me, too. Only with your eyes. You have a particular way of seeing things, sweetheart, and I can see it with the way you describe it. Your voice, your tone, your imaginary."

"Do I? Go on." Though the intent of his words were teasing, even the tone of his voice gave away the trembling depth that was coming through him that was expanding into what lms seemed like an impossible degree of richness that came from two souls that shared the same heart and vision. Your hands squeezed on his palm as your eys indicated up to him.

"You go on."

His ears flicked in his uncertainty. He was still breathing deep, though now there was a gentleness ofhis own doubt and uncertiney that wased into his own sparked queioning eyes. The timidness of his own uncertainty only served to add to his preciousness, and if the richness of the details of his story and the way he saw the world as it expanded in front of him hadn't been enough for you to feel that eternal natural of that seeme dlike it was large than life itself or anything you could come to understand, only feel, than you knew hat pure and genuine love was now, and all coming from the same trembling soft flowered eyed gentleness of the man and the chubiness of his body as his hand threaded onto your own.

"Are you sure?" His eys turned won in his own thought. "More about the guys smashing or about the details of the city? Because the first one is a prolouge to what we're seeing tonight."

"Any of it. All of it. Tell me more, of anything. I don't care, as long as it's in your language."

"Oh." He wanted to believe you, though you could tell there was such a doubt that came along with anything he could have believed that came from you-though he desperately wanted to, and you wanted to led him to that in his own lnaaguge, as much as you were able to.

"I've never felt anything more rich than how you see things. It's like I'm seeing things the way I've always wanted to, but I can't do it without you. The way you see things, sweetheart-it's like you have this certain kind depth and melcohlic way of seeing things, but its full of so much richness, and natural artistic truth, and beauty and light."

The back of your hand caressed against his cheel were previously it had rested on the side of his face. His eyes turned down, comeplling as he thought over what you were speaking, eyes enlighttned into his own profound humanity that already felt and gave you more meaning just from the suggestion of the few minutes with it than the entirey of the scope of the loud noise of the world.

"No one has ever said even romently anything like that to me. Not even the mockery of it."

He paused, closed his eyes, ears lowered back, then took a breath as he eased his own tired eyes back up to you. The back of your hand rested on his and you could see the light of his own natural artistry and the natural storyteller that was in him as his lips raised while he met your expression, guided and encouraged and carried by your own.

"Once I was either too tired from being drunk when the alcohol settled in, the the city became too blurry for me to take it in or to care, I never could tell when that happened, it just did, I stumbled over my feet and conuied to make my way down the street. By that time usually I either contueid drinking, and those were the moirnings that I found myself passed otu some guy's poch or lawn, or even a rock by the small semi patches of grass that isn't free territory but everyone considers one anyway if you've bene there long enough. Some nights I would take in the city, and when the emotions of what it was all like became too much for me, I wouldn't drink, I would just let it pass over me for what it. Sometimes when emotions mix in with alcohol too much it gets to the point wher eyou feel like you may as well be dead, or it feels like the world is ending somehow, and on those nights I felt like that in a lot of ways. I would stumble down and my burning eys would turn up to these windows of their wide expanse and these men wiith his hands thrown and tossed onto these woman that they were fucking with thier druken bodies, and I wanted to be disgsuted, and I wa,s but I knew that was me, too-and I knew that on nights when I didn't do this empty aimlessness, I was doing the same thing. It would hit me the most when I turned around and looked up the hill of thestreet and looked up to the very last house that sat above all the others, standing on its own structure precariously like it had been landed there-belonged there, and there was no fight or anything to change the way it towered over eveyrthing else, and that was when that dread came over me."

"Your house." Your fingertips caressed against him in a pointed softness.

The muscles on Bojack's face trembled, and a certain secret pain that you knew held countless sotries dmenaing to be told rested behind the almond glint of his expression as his eyes turned away for a momet, hands theaded onto your palm as his ears lowered. You leaned forward as your lips pressed against the side of his palm again, a gently muttered "it's ok" coming through your lips as the words reflected against his hand.

"And sometimes I felt too awful to even consider finding the energy, or the beleief, or the attempt of going up to my own house-so instead I would pass out, curl up somewhere like a homeless guy. It felt like it was what I deserved, in an odd way. My body and my stomach would unfurl against myself while I curled into myself, and I would just let the dirt of my clothes and my body come over me while I felt into myself. I closed my eyes and-both of those times, whether it was from the choice of drinking too much, or fromthe choice of drinking just enough to trigger my brain into thinking I was seeing the world unveil from my eyes and seeing how selfish, anf stupid, and detriemntal and awful everyone was, how awful I was-that in and of itself was enough to led to the same night. I remember waking up on my side, several times, vividly, back aching and groaning-sometimes some naughy advenrtuing kids that they they gain something from going into the rich person area would show up and I would wake up to a few notes calling me a drunk homeless man."

"Charming."

"And deserved." His eeys turned down while the relfcetive light of his ehsuted dry eyes threaded onto your hand. "And I had to get up and pull myself together to face this borken, long daya head of me. My phone would either be dead or broken, I would have no signal, I smelled terrible, I looked awful, no doubt the neighbors had seen me stumbling around that night and making an embaarssing ass of myself, anf there was walsy the chance of the paparazzi or whatever passing guy took interest. Lot of people coming and going, thinking it'll give them something. My bones would ache when I got myself up, I wouldn't be ablet o see straight, I would be fighting this manci depressed dispair that comes along woth drinking, my throat was dry, and I knew I would spend the rest of the day in bed feeling awful and I could feel the slew of negative thoughts jamming through my head before I could even get my goddamn aching body off of the ground."

The reflection of his eyes spoke that he had memroied the action and the memory of it down to its core, and there was a reflective pain in his eys as he breathed somberly at the memory of the practice he had done enough times that it had unwittingly become part of the core part of his perception and memory. He panted against as his eyes trembled into that troubled, wrinkled and twisted squint as his eyes turned downward, his hands squeezed and threaded on your own as there a ss distance in his eyes that came both from the memory of emotions and dressing up of realities that only he could maange and was capable of as his eyes turned downward into the melcholoci exhaust that made up his eyes.

"I got up, and I knew I had made another day for myself where there would be nothing but terrible feelings, and blame, and thought, and disgust and sickness. But while I got myself up as much as my drucken, sickly, detached body would allow me to and stumbled myself into a standing position and tripped over my feet to go to the side of Los Angeles, I would see the pink sky awith the way it had that specific splash of that pink and yellow over it while it spilled into the morning. I always woke up in the morning, for some reason. I guess it was my body getting sick of aching for what it was forced to pass out into because of how awful I felt. But I would always end up drunkenly stumbling my way through that same path that made up the neighborhood I lived in while I stumbled over my feet through it, and I would stop at the same place that had caused me to pause to begin with whenever I was at the cliff the night before that had caused so many terrrile emotions and reflections and to make me feel that disgust with myself and everyone else, who I was forced to be just to feel anything that was even close to whate I never had to begwin with."

He breathed deep to take a break, the edge of the passion in his voice increasing right along with the edge of the reflection of the tone of his voice. Your hands squeezed against his own as his eyes turned downward, threading still into that squinted detached disassociation that had nothing to do with anything around him, a certain emotion and experience that was exclusive only to him that was deep enough that it took him away just to think of it.

"I love you." Your hands squeezed his, and your lips found the edge of hsi wrist as your kiss feel against the side of the chubbiness of his hand. "Go on."

He breathed shakily, eyes profound in expansion. He eased down from his energy now, the slight climaz resting into a reflection now of sobriety of taking in the progression of the sickliness of that morning that had led into the doubt and heaviness of the thread of the night before. When he spoke aagin his voice was somber, relfetive and full of that extension of a tone that was wise and deep in its taking in for how things were.

"The windows were always stained, both with the sweat that and the alcohol that had made up the actions of the men and the woman that had done all their intimacy overnight. The windows were dressed up with forgotten cloths that made up their impulsivity through the night, everything showed signs of everything as empty as the actions of what they and I did to feel anything at all with a life we chose that gave us nothing, and we knew it. The alcohol and the way it gave me such a veiled sense of despair began to leave me, but-I still remembered what I had felt the night before, the ghost of it, and combined with the hangover and the side effects of that, it would have been enough for me to completely detached and destory myself with the res tof the day with that certain kidn of-" He pressed his lips together as a heavy rasp left his tone while his detacehd eyes hollowed in front of him, slowness to his consideration as he spoke the rasp and the extension of his consideration. "Dispair type feeling that on morinings like that in the past, I didn't think I would be able to deal with. ANd every moirnign when I did that, and it happened more freqqently the less I became attached to sex and the woman I had access to and the hookups and I just saw it as bullshit, the more I stubled arounf at night like that. I was so sure every morning that I had screwed up and that it would send me into a spiral of more drinking that my body and mind already couldn't handle for the day. But I looked up and I looked over at the sky and memorized the way the pink threaded and melted into the yello while it eased against the side of the buildings, and I remember all the profound beauty I had felt right along with that profound extension of pain, and the way it melded together into this rich, complex expereince that made up life."

He paused, his chubby hadna adjusted so they met against your embrace. A small, bittersweet smile curved up on his snout as a just as equally twisted gleam entered into his eyes as his chubby palms met agains your own.

"And I thought, I wish my wife was here to see this. Which was funny, because I didn't have anything that even remtley resembles a wife. I still don't. But I thought it, ever time. And every time, I went home, and that thought stayed with me all day, sometimes even several nights at a time, and I would start doing it intentionally, if only so I could wake up into what should have been a bittersweet punishment and instead was met with this beautiful, profound feeling of a love that kept me sober and somehow hopeful, in a shitty and whimsical kind of way that only half got rid of the thoughts, but-it was with me. And I'd never felt anything like that." He paused for a moment as his eyes turned up to the wall behind you, a certain disassciaoted human fear in them as his eyes dilated into his own expression, a distant melcholcy that threaded into his eyes as his fingertips contracted against your own, then eased into your palm again.

"I wish my wife was here to see this." A tender squint and a certain softness in his eyes without the distant leaving his expression that came along with an inner spiritual expereince that was too personal to ever be anything other than within him. "I think there was a lot of times I had that thought, or at least the sentiment of it, without even realizing it. But on the morinings it came to me fully and at the forefront of my mind, and it was just as incredible, and just as comforting, every time."

There was a certain kind of sospchiated and modled beauty that made up Bojack now that had previously been only vaguely hinted at, and though you were aware to some extent every way of which every side of every version of him could exist to some degree as it was for anyone hat ever at least had the sentiment of wanting to know and love someone entirely, it wasn't until now until hat natural poetry of considerable beauty full came to him as much as it did with the somber tender observation of the artistic grace of his beauty flowed out of him now. As insecure and as pathetic as he could be, unimpressive and immature and childlike, to you, it was all wrapped into a mold of a man that was extensively lovable in all ways, and every day you saw a little bit of a different face of what he possessed.

The face inside of him of what he had just showed you now was one of a profound observation of seeing life for what it was, for himself for what he was, even as he had spoken it with the narrative of his trembling tone of doubt. It was in the dignity of the natural grace of his tone of voice, a natural storyteller of someone who had the ability to see things as they were without taking sides or without having even a fight from his own end of things. How he could be so ruined in his perspective of his guilt and his inseuciurty and be so wise to see things at the same time brought out of you profound harrowing amirabelion that dressed itself in the most therapedic and human way that it ever could be contrived of; in the form of the deepest seen way of romantic and a deeply boended human love.

"Thank you for telling me." The muscles on Bojack's face tensed as he eased forward with your hand guidning agaisnt his back even as his breathed in a sharp intake while the part of him that as inside of you eased in the crease between his legs. He breathed in a deep inward take as the plump curve of his body eased agaaisnt the side of your own as the plump of his stomach eased against the side of the curve of your body, your own hand easing against the back of his neck ad they threaded onto his mane in your profound sense of gentleness. A wave of pleasure shot through you as he eased his hips against the curve of your hips while he eased his stomach into the curve of your body, taking in a sharp breath as he did so that slowly eased into his own contentment of a laugh.

"I've missed you."

The words he spoke against your cheek was the conclusion to the narrative he was attempting to tell. His cheek leaned against yours, and you knew that was his own language od saying he loved you at times when the other three were cobwebbed into whatever entangled narrative that made up his mind otherwise.

"I love you."

Bojack eased his body against your hips as his pleasure weaved through your body. This time the stagnant light outside seemed like it was more of an accompaniment of the melancholic meeting you were having in your bonding rather than the sign of an exhausting world or of the anticpaiton of the upcoming strangers and even more forgien intention you would have to deal with for the sake of Bojack's entangled and reckless uncerintly. Everything was moving with the both of you now, Bojack's words and the rasp of the story spoken through his natural storytellers' voice raising up into the room that surrounded him as he spoke it, cutting up into an expanse of a narrative of a story whee the both of your souls and the heaviness of two weary hearts met and came together into a deepened strength of the same prescriptive.

Your eyes turned as you allowed Bojack's plump body to ease against your hips, seeing a flash of a car that made its way through the street while it drove past the reflective yellow light of the large windows that entered into Bojack's room. Yoru expression turned as you heard the metal hinges coming from what sounded like hands easing themselves out of a door. You tensed, right along with Bojack, who let a slight rasped swear leave his lips as his eased his enanegled chubby modled arms further against you, as if that would have provided the both of you a guarantee repreitvee both of the loudnes and the unpredictability of the world as well as whatever made up the sabatgong impusslivity of Bojack's own desperation in whatever wayward way it came in the muddled fogginess of his mind.

The muscle in his body trembling with a desperate insistence that you felt greet against the curve of your own shoulder. That soft, childlike innocence was painted all over his face-you had come to memorize it as much as you ever had with everything he was that you could see the timid expression and emotion on his face known as his own timid beauty as his face twisted while the muscles on his face eased against your shoulder. Your own lips jutted up as they eased on his shoulder; for whatever tension existed between your bodies or emotionally or otherwise, it was the kind of tension where he most rhythmic gentleness was met between the both of you, and the challenge of the ease into it only served that richness of that longing that came the more you came to see and recognize the details of one another, rather than just the idea of someone in a superficial lack of care of it that made up so many people and relationships and the pain that disconnected of lack of needs met that came after and followed otherwise.

"I left the door open."

Bojack's breath was shaken in his tension both to stay paused in the moment and his usual desire to want everything to stay as it was, simple and as human and humble in the way he took it in and wanted to last forever as he was, and the anticipation of knowing that he was on the brink of being reminded for the countless time in his life that that kind of permanent peace would never last. He turned his head against your shoulder, his own rasped and whisky laden breath easing onto your skin. "If anyone comes in, don't worry about it. Just let it happen."

You nodded, your hands easing onto his shoulders as you felt Bojack's hips ease into you while he continued to breathe deeply against the curve of your body, panting and labor coming back along with his effort that rendered him as adorable and precious at the same time in his tender vulaability that made him so reosundly human and easy to love. His stomach eased and mirror your own breathing that was increasing right along with your body that was threading against his own as he breathed against your body, painting rasped breath easing against the side of your chee as the both of you feel into that natural ineveivilty of the beaut that cae from two people who had been searching for one another in the specific way of how they had always spent existing in wha had been empty spaces between the both of them were now there were warm bodies, a tone of voice, a profound meaning, a narrative of life and love dressed in a specific way made only for the two of you.

Bojack leaned forward as he let out a rasped groan, his breath shaking with anticipation as he took an intake of breath while his snout guided onto the front of your shoulder as his rocking increased. While you felt how he eased into you you could see the squint that made up the impossibility of those squinted, tormented and complicated almond eyes, the natural grace of his body and the eases of the profound natural digjnity that made up an animation that ame across with the structure of his snout when put into a certainillumated light, such as the way you had taken him in when you had woken up in the middle of the night with his own rasped troubeld mumbling while he had sat in front of the window with the ease of the bleu light illuminating from the city, tracing against his plump body and round stomach as chubby arms reached forward to a cigarette that placed precatioulsy in his fingertips while he spoke it, a dignified and alost haunting look to the heavy wear on his face as he sat in front of the window with the ciy light straced against him, an uncanny and graceful combination of the most profound dignity and the most unimpressed fragile pathetic helplessness of a man, and all encased towards your want to love him in a way you knew had carried you both through life even just at the idea of it; and now it was in front of you to full physical and emtoional completion.

The sounds of the people getting out of their car faded, the sound of the car door slamming confirming the moving on of the people as they talked between one another while their chatter graduated away. Still, it had been enough to make the both of you more alert as you were filled with the tension that made up the time you had. There was an anxiety that came along with loving Bojack, as impulsive and as erratically unpredictable as he was. Cowardliness hadn't prevented him from being one of the more adventurous people, and you knew he would continue to put himself into questionable situations and emotional danger for as long as there was the invitation to.

"Thank god."

The rasp of his breath left his lips, and you paused as you felt the way the whiskey laden breath of him eased on your shoulder. His arms embraced further against your own. His head eased away from where he had rested his snout on your shoulder, his own tender eyes meeting into yours. Much like the way it was easier the appreciate something the more someone eased into it, the more you spent time with Bojack and the narratives of how he saw the world and the way his energy so naturally encased against your own, you felt him get more beautiful with every opening of an eye towards the next view of seeing him.

His wet eyes reflected against the shining of the city lights that met against the questioning white of his eyes. He opened his mouth for a moment, then closed it again as doubt took him, though the narrative of his eyes was all you needed to know. There was a begging in the way he looked, and he didn't know how to execute it; his thoughts were entanegled into his own tormented insecuirtuy, and all the helpless, unspoken desperation that was plastered on his every muscle as he looked at her with those stoic and graceful profound eyes that held stories upon stories with them the way it did for every natural artist.

His brath pand as his incur ys turnd downward, ars lowring back as you flt th way h conuitd to as his body into your hips. Th plasurabl waves passd through you as your had turnd backward, your lips trembling as you flt his braths asing against your body whil his body prssdagaisnt your skin, th wright of his body asing onto your hips as his chk rstd on your shoulder. Th lights of th cars outsid contuid to flash forward through th window, th occasional sound of th tirs asing against th road as thy drov across th strt. With th combination of th disquintd chattr that wa asing outsid, your ys turning ovr th discarded cloths that mad up th mssy thrown together cloths and th disgardd shts that rstd outsid of th clost, th books asing out from undr Bojack's bd that showd signs of his natural curious and intelligent mind whn h had th pac of want of it, th gntl pants that cam out of Bojack's brath whil his brath asd against your shoulder, his arms carssd against your hips whol th plush form of hi sshouldrs asd onto your body, you knw that his instinct for th want of being clos to you and ht prciounss of th moment now that srvd as a pictur that was sunk into your mind thradd ovr your ys, and you knw Bojack had an especially good instinct for what th two of you ndd and dsrvd.

"You wr right." Your had turnd as your brath guided onto th sid of his chk. Th panting of his tndr brath asd agaaint your shouldr as his had turnd, his chk rstd on your shoulder as h continued to pant with only a paus of an interruption as h turnd his chk against th sid of your shoulder.

"About what?"

'This. Tim together." Your hands conuitd to as on his back, and his brath shuddrd as h gudid his chin against your shoulder. "Thank you for ltting m do this."

Bojack lt out a hiccup as th interruption in his brath incrasd for a moment. Th bottom of his chin rstd on your shoulder as his lips prssd on top of you. The was a shudder that wnt through his body, and along with it th fling of his xhust of whatvr it was h was carrying asing downward as th wight of his body asd against your own. Your had kpt turnd to th sid, your lips asing against th tip of his ars as you hard th conflict in his braths whil his body asd onto yours through his panting.

"What is it?"

You spok th inquiring softly, not hstitating away from th as of how your words and th intention of soothing cam ovr th mood that was in an odd baalnc between mlcholic, nostalgic, and th most haling profound richnss that asd between your bodis.

H chuckled, though th sound of his voic asd downward into an uncertain brath ass it ndd in a whimpr.

"Just a lot going on. And-" His hand asd against yoru back whil his body prsssd furhtr into you, another wav gliding ovr and into your body as your ys fluttrd downward whil you flt th haling flow through you at his touc. "I'v nvr bn told that I mad a good dciisson bfor. By anyon." H turnd his chk against your shoulder, th dg of his snout asing against th sid of yoru chk and you gav an as of your own brat of agrmnt whil h turnd his chk to th sid. You could fl th full bloat of his chks asing agssinr your body, th irch lavender of th chipiping of th nrvousnss of how h had picks on it with his fingrs throughout th day, th impossibl softnss of his brawny skin as it asd orfclty into th layr of swat that mad up his body that mldd with his skin perfectly.

"It's a good start." The was a pac of a smil vn in your words as you spok thm, and Bojack gav a slight brath of an agrmnt whil is asd his body furhtr against you.

"Yah. that's on way of sing tonight and th rcklss dcisisons i mad, I guss."

"It's not rcklss to want to find rliff. In general. Don't punish yourself for it."

"I don't think I hav to. With vryon invitd tonight I'm sur thy'll do it for m."

"Mayb it will b fun."

The was an xhustion to both of your words, and Bojack had the sentiment of want of pac through his words, xcutd futhr through his body asing onto your hips as h av anothr laugh that was cynical but accpting as h asd his body back into your thighs again. Th combination of his body asing into yours and th fling of his hands clinging onto your back whil his hands gripped onto your body spok of th attempt of his blf and want of hop, through ther was that natural hoplssnss that followd vrything h did.

"It dosn't hav to b." His chk asd against your nck.

You flt th sntimnt of th warmth of what h was suggesting flow through you as your lips asd against th front of his shoulder. "This is enough to mak it worth whatvr happns latr on tonight."

"That." His low, raspy voic rlfctd against his words as his brath asd onto your shoulder. "But also knowing that ithr way, it dosn't rally mattr."

Your eyebrows furrowed, your hand not laving his back as it pausd in its pattern of caressing. "It can if you want it to."

"Ithr way, whatvr happns, whn thy go hom I'll still hav both th good and th bad with what this is. Thy'r just a wall so I candistract from myself and what this is. Whatever happns tonight, as logn as its not paricalrty dangerous, or obnxious or dscturtiv, its all just what I'm trying to distract from what I know will happn."

Your lips rasid into a softnss that only asd further as your had turnd downward and onto his shoulder, a hvainss to it.

"You'r looking at a different futur. Bcaus th on I fl, the's nothing in it but a promis, and I don't intnt of ltting it go or changing it-at this point, I'm in lov with you and I s you so dply that I wound't know how to vn if I trid."

"I gt that." Th was a hollowing mptinsss in his voic, and you knw it was, for th tim bing, impossibl for him to fl th sntimnt of what h was fling. His hips asd onto yours again, and the wa sa hiss that cam from him and your mouth aburplt juttd opn whil you flt th sudden jolt of th bond between th both of you thread further into th way h prsd against your body.

"And I'll b hr, whthr you s it or not. I wouldn't know how ls to b now that I'v sn you. Now that I know you."

Your hand srstd as your fingertips thradd on th black coars of his hair, your fingrtips thrading onto his back whil your hands graze onto his skin. H turnd his had upward, as h asd th plush mold of his thighs further agaaisnt your hips, and you flt th waves flow through you with such satisfaction thatit asd down ithr philosophy ithr of you could hav spoken, whether good or bad. H was increasing th inimacty of his plush hips against your body, and you knw it was with th intention to distract himself from th conversation that h wasn't, and mayb nvr would b, rdy to hav, much lss to bluv in or to follow your gudinc of your own faith. Yourys turnd to th sid as your lips grazed on th sid of th tips of his ars, hands gently carssd whil thy gudidd on top of his back as you allowed him th permission to, for th tim bing, stay away from what of which was th most challngding to him; th concept of hop, and th risk that so naturally cam along with it that provided drp vulnerability and th garnet of the extensive and rsounding pain that would fl lik such a dp truth for him for so long if his worst fars cam tru.

"Nothing is vry rally vry happening in gnral, swthart." Your wrds wr whisprd as thy asd against his ar, though with th amount of how much Bojack was asing into your hips whil th avs graze through your body, and th oft tndrnss of his having stomach whil it gazd on th top of th curves of your own body, it smd lik it was rndrd almost impossibl to spak through th xtnisv tndrnss that cam along with th plasur that was so dp whn it cam from both physical and motional lov that it rndrd you into a certain kind of paralization. "Ithr good or bad. No matter what happns, whthr with m or anything ls, it dosn't hav to b something that dstorys you. You can chos what happns." Your lips prssd against th sid of his chk, bloated and round whil it was carssd against th touch of your intimacy. His panting only incrasd whil h asd his chk onto th sid of your fac, th adorbality of his tndrss increasing as his body asd onttop of yours. "I want you to mmvr that."

"Tll m to my family lin." His voic was rgrtful, and you knw h didn't want to mt yoru advic with abraisvnss. But it was too mbddd into him, especially th blif. "Thy nvr figured it out. I'm just th nd result of that." H pasud as his body tnsd, as if h had thought of something that had caused his body to paus. Vn th rocking of his hips against yours casd as whatvr it was that had ntrd his trouble mind cam ovr him.

"God knows that if anything vr happnd to you, that would b th on far that would b too much for m that I wouldn't b abl to tak."

"Right." His body bgan to as his way back from whr h was rstd against your hips, and with an as of his body away from yours h bgan to as his mbrac against yours. His lips prssd together as his tth pokd out whil th wtnss of his troubled ys cam ov rhim as th trembling distanc ovrcam his ys as h lookd into you. "That thing that you mntiond?"

His chubby hand was curld against th stout of his fingrs. As h asd backward and lookd at you with his troubled ys, threading into yours as th trembling of his ys gazd into yours with his confliction, you asd your had to th sid as you lookd at him wit your permission for him to contusion.

"You'r so asy to lov." You spok it with a gntl tramor as your hand asd forward, rating on his chk. Bojack took and shakn brathd as his sad, wid ys turnd down in thor troublmnt. "Its incredible."

"Yah. Ok." It was written all ovr his fac how muh it mant to him to b talkd to lik that, but his hand rachd forward and prssd on your own hand as his fingers asd against th palm of your hand, asing it away from whr your hand rstd on his chk, th muscles on his fac asd into a cramp as his ars lowrd. "About th kids."

"It was just a passing mention."

"A passing mention. And on with a lot of huge thms of maturity and chang and rpsosnsibility."

"W don't hav to."

His eyebrows asd into an unimpressed challenge as th drynss of his ys as his ylids, havy with thir cynicism, turnd down as h gazd at you. Your ys closed as your turnd your had downward, giving a laugh, but this tim it was on that was full of xhust as your ys turnd downward as you gav a shakinss of a braking nrvousnss.

"W don't hav to?" His voic was asd into his own prodding as his ys squintd as h asd his ars downward whil th challenge of his voic and th squint of his ys incrasd into a hard question. "Ar you sur about that?"

"Bojack, whn I mention thos things, I only do it bcaus-"

"You mention Harpr all the time. You bring out drawings that I barley vn rmmvr doing that just cam out of his wrid innr part of my mind that I don't vn know xsitd." His hand thradd on th diamond part of his snout as his eyes turned upward. "It's so obvious that you think this is going somhwr. And I can't gv you that."

"W don't nd to hav it all figured out. I just want you to know what I can s with you."

His ys wr hallowed into his xprssion as th wt of his conflcitd ys turnd downward.

"I just think-" He breathed in deep, ars lowrd as th sadness in his ys rflctd into a furthr xhust. "I think you nd to think about th futur that you'r actually comitting to. If you can. Not that I want you to do anything or mak any big dciisosn, obviously-" His hadn turnd upward whn you opn dyour mouth with a certain kind of pain of your own to spak. "But I do think ou nd to s things, th way I am, for what it actually is. Whr it's all going, what it leads to. You nd to s-" H pasud as h turnd his ys upward, trouble brath laving his lip as h turnd his ys up in his confliction. "S m th way I am. Bfor you g too caught up in something that I can't giv you."

Your ys rolld back and fort ovr Bojack's trouble words, and th wt distance of his trouble ys turnd down ashis ars lowrd. You land forward as your hands squzd agasitn his own, hands asing forward onto his palm as your lips graze on his palm.

"I do s you." Th words cam out as tndr and with a reflective exhaust, and Bojack's ys lowrd as th distanc of his xprssion asd further into th conflictd distanc of his ys as h turnd his ys downward.

"I know, honey. But what I'm trying to say-"

The wa sa sudden loud crash, and following it th as of loud words and conversations asing up into th air that cam along with it as th sounds of svral loud conversation that was asing and grating through hls and shos jammd thir way into th door. Bojack's ys widndd as his tth pokd out as h snappd his had ovr his shoulder, torubld ys threading ovr to th opn cracked door as far ovrcam his ys whil thy bggd out from th wrinkles undr his xrpsion.

"Hy, big party man! W got som booz and th good stuff and th drugs." A loud, cackld laughtr that boomd through th living room from th unlockd door that mad its way into th opn spac of th living room, and th sounds of both caprd brittle laughter and amusement that twsitd into th air right along with what sound lik slightly gentle laughter from th sounds of high hls that wr clearly associaotd with th woman who cam insid. "Whr is that guy? H said h would b hr making sur w all had th tim of our goddamn livs. H bttr dlivr unlss h wants vn mor torubld than what h's already gotten himself into by inviting us ovr hr. W'll sho him a wild tim!"

"Goddammit." Bojack's ys closed as th muscles on his fac tnsd, th annoync fully ovrcoming his xprssson as his ys closed whil th annoync flashd across his fac. Your hand found its way by his chk again, but this tim with th intention of getting hi to opn his ys as h turnd and lookd back at you in question. Th dtachd distanc of his ys opnd as his ys turnd up to you, dtcahd and distant as his havy ys turnd up to your own. "Bad timing."

"Do you want m to go downstairs, tll thm you changed your mind?"

"That wouldn't wor." Bojack's hard ys turnd ovr his shoulder as h lookd ovr to th bdroo door, now drssd with up wmor than just th yellow wash of th outsid illumination of th non pool as th lights wr abruolty turnd on, th stagnant yellow light flooding up th stairs.

"I hard h love to carry woman, tak thm upstairs to sttl thm into his bd to mak lov to-xcpt for th part whr h loss his brath halfway through." A shrill sound of a woman guided up into th air with a dp trmbld amusmnt as a laughter dgd on hr voic. "Th amount of things I'v hard about this guy, and non of thm ar vr flattering. It's hialirous."

Th muscles on Bojack's fac tnsd as th annync in his ys incrasd whil th black of th dg of his annoync asd furhtr into th dry xtnt of his own annoyed xprsssion.

You bgna to as your hips off of Bojack, and h turnd as his ys wind as his ars flickrd whil h lookd ovr at you in question.

"What're you doing?"

"I'll go talk to thm." Your hands asd onto Boajck's hips as you bgan to mak it so that h bgan to slid out of you, butt h wid xpans of th sudddn panic of Bojack's stoppd you as his xprssion twsitd into a nrvusnss as h abruptly wave his hand.

"No-don't. Don't." Th panic in his ys incrasd as h snappd his had ovr his shouldr, fac ncasd aagaisnt th twist in his xprssion as h turnd his had ovr his shoulder and to th door. "Plas don't."

Your hands pausd from whr thy wr carssd agasint his arms. Boajck's own wid wr unradabl, slightly nervous, slightly dgd into that dry mlcholic xhust as his ys turnd to th sid in all of his complcitd damnor that mad up his ys whil h kpt his ys squntd and ovr at th opn door. "Do you want to go down?"

"Lt's just-" H pasud as h took an intak of a brath, ys turnd downward as h did so whil th laughter and th ntrtianmnt that th whit talk and chattr of th popl contuidn to as into. "Continuing practicing?"

Your ys thradd back and forth twn his xprssion, and your lip slightly rasid up as h turnd his ys to you with that hollowing squint in his ys as h gazd into you.

"I man-" His lip rasid up into his own slightly satisfaction as his ys turnd downward i his own playful thought, making him look especially tndr as it glimmrd in his ys. "Thr's no rush, right? Thy sound lik thy'r aving pltnly of a good tim down the talking shit about m nough as it is. Thy can wait."

His ys wr tndr into thir suggestion, and you brathd in as his lips rasid up whil th spakrld squint cam in his ys that mt against an almost bashful rais of his lip that ntrd his xprssion. His ybros wr wiggled into his own playful but ultimately shy suggestion, th oddst array of a combination that mad him up that was always alluring and ttracting you at th sam tim as his ys glimmer dup into his auggstion. Your ys turnd don as you laughed, your hands asd onto his as your gav him a rais of th softnss that was especially promimnt in your lips as you gav a nod whil your ys glimmrd into th sugggstion of it.

"I'll go where you want me to be."

Bojack laughed, quietly, and th as of his natural shynss as his hands asd down onto your arms whil th confliction of his ys asd down otno your hands, threading against your palms as h did so whil th rlas of his ys thradd onto your hands.

"Oh my goddess, is that srioulsy all of his liquor? And you would think h would at last try to b shy about how much h lavs thrown around and how much h drinks bfor a party. It's not wondr h's got that cut on his hips."

Annoyc, but also gnuin hurt splyd across Bojakc's fauturs as his ys turnd downward. You pulled him in, your hand grativiating away from his back as it asd onto his stomach. His ys turnd up in thir hollywood question as is ys rasid up to mt your own fingertips as thy rstd on th plush brown curves of his stomach whil your hands thradd onto his stomtahc.

"W can't show thm how good w ar until I'm abl to lov on you through it and tach ourslvs." Your voic trmbld with your want as Bojack's own poutd xprssion asd on his fac whil his ys hollowd in his own doubt as his ys flickd downward. "I'v nvr bn so attracted to anyon in my lif. Lt m giv you that."

Though Bojack's ys wr asd into that clar far that was possessing his xprssion, a wash of accptnc ovrcam him as h took in your words. H gav a nod, his lips rasid into an xtnt of a fearful unknowing; but mostly it was clar how much h wanted it.

"Ok." Hi eyebrows wr lowrd into a dtrmind lowring of his eyebrows as h gav a nod. though it was at odds with tndrnss of his ys as h asd his had with a tilt. Already you could s th hu of a rd spoiling his cheeks as he gazed a you with both his far and curiosity threading into his ys. "Tach m how."

"Both of us." Your hands glide onto his plush hips as you pulled him forward, and his body asd onto your own as h brathd shakily. Downstairs, th sounds of th crowd of popl, it sound lik it was an array of at last the to four popl that had mad thir way insid, th silence and th ncasmnt that mad up th blakc spac of rh room and th silence mant only for both of your own romanticism asing into th constant intruruption of th popl downstairs that wr occupid with thir own chattering and uncaring talk and laughter, th majority of it drenched into thir own mocking as thir voices thradd into th air with thir disassocatd laughter.

"Forgt thm." Your hand asd onto th back of Bojack's nck as ontinued to brath in dp, his nck land forward as h was brought into th curv of your nck. "It dosn't mattr ithr way, right? Thy'r just aa distraction to hlp you fl comfortable with somthing you struggl with. You dsvr to giv yourself that."

Bojack brathd shakily as his body was asd onto your own, his snout thradd onto th curv of yournck as h shaily allowed his body to prssd into th curv of yor body again.

"I didn't think thy would already hav a hadstart on bing this annoying." His snout asd onto your bck as you closed your ys again whil pulling him inward, th curv of his sotmtach asing onto yours again as hiss tomtach gudidd across your body. His had turnd down, twisted xprssion prssd into your own agasin as h gav an as of hi sboy pressed onto yours.

"Just a distraction." Your lips rasid into a rlfctiv humor as Bojack's body asd further onto your own. "Rmmbr that."

Your voic was gudining and rlfctiv as you softly asd your body against his own far whil h allowed his body to thread and carsss against your own.

"Succd at that, I guess."

Dspit th xhust of Bojac's words, you could fl how much h wand to hav blif in what you wr trying to giv him. His body was asd onto yours again, the brown hu of his skin rlfctiv agasitn th illumad light that graze agsint his skin as his body asd onto yours again. Th tip of his shaft tasd between your thighs as his wight fll on you again, havy and just as much of something to carry motionally as much as anything h was motionally could vr b, but that was all th mor rason why you flt that fulfillin gpurpos of loving somon as dply as you did him, and vry answer that cam out of that. Downstairs, th laughter of th party incrasd, th sounds of th woman and th mn asing away into what was a barley understood chattr between thir voice whil high hls stppd against th floor and th suprfificlaity of what mad up so amy man spiritd popl was already mad vidnt just from th ton of thir voice.

You lt out something that was both a laughter and a whimper as yor hands asd agasitn his skin whil Bojack prssd his sotmtach against your own as h ntrd you again. His chubby, soft, prciously ladn hands guided against your back as thy carssd against your skin in a minut whispr. You could tll just from th way h had hlookd at you that h had had countless qystions just from th way h lookd at you in his own trouble and trembling way and whatever requestwas sitting on the tip of his tongue, it was tormenting him just as much to spak it as much as not knowing it was. H only knw that h wanted this and you, though the wr so many muddled and unaswrd questions that mad up a mind that had nvr known pac and had nvr vn bn abl to vr quit figur out how to achieve it.

The hunger coming from his trembling skin radiated with a deep desperation; and she could read his every unspoken desire like the back of her hand. Not just with making love; genuine love making, th kind that h had always crave with both motions and th climax of th physiclaaity of your bodies together. Thr wr cornrs of his mind and th troublming of it that was associated with lack of answers of bing brav nough ti disovr corners of his mind that wr lft as cowardly unsarchd for corner sof his prpctoion of reality. Th popl downstairs and th vtntual vulabirlirty that would b mt with bojack wanting to hav a sns of control ovr th disaster h so was convincd would occur with its invbibility and wanitnt to toss th blam onto som wrecked and impulsive dcisiosns that would b ovwhlming with othr popl's flaws so whn you lft, which h was so convicnd would happn, it would b asir for him to fac. It was clar from th trembling of his pant against your own skin that it was becoming incraisnly mr vidnt that h had gon far byond his comfort zon anyway; that h was going to b forced to b motionally and physically vulrnabl in ways that was now far otuisd of th ralm of what h was capabl.

But, as intimacting as it was for Bojack to throw his body and his lovmaking with th prosn who had finally givn him th romantic sns of having something gnuin to los, and th impossibility of his depressed cycnims that drssd his prcption of most popl that had rndr it impossible for him to vn lik anyon, much lss lov, nothing was mor intimidating or mor of a challenge for him than facing something whr the was nothing but his own rflction and blam on th othr sid of it.

"We'll do this until nough popl com insid that thy start to mak it thranting." The was a tas to th nd of his raspd voic as h spok against your nck. Your nodded, your lips rasid up into a smil as your hands asd onto his back.

"Sounds good to m."

Bojakc's lips curved into a rasi as his lip asd onto the curve of your neck.

"Wherever I want to go, right?"

Your hands caressed on his back as th sid of your facd asd against th curv of his nck. The hunger that possessed him was transferring over to your own air, too; it was almost impossible for you to not feel that way whnvr both of your motions intertwined. He simply had that effect on you just by being who he was, and it ad th both of you far richr for it.

His teeth grazed against his lip nervously as his eyes fluttered down towards where his hands.

"Ok, ok-and hr w go again."

Your had turnd back as his ody asd into your thighs again. Your had turnd forward as your chin rstd on th front of th as of his moldd shoulder as your lips grazed onto his skin. You lt out a gaso, on that was parciaulr loud as you flt th way h asd into your. Bojack's ys widnd as his had turnd ovr to th door. Ther was a silence that cam from th talking downstairs, and thnm with a gradual rais of thir voice did the talk begin again, this tim a littl lowr and mor sombr. Th sounds of bottl glasss prssd onto th countr as thy conuitd to talk between ach othr with thir words raising up into th air, and Bojack turnd his had back to your fac as h lt out a shakn brath.

He fluttered his eyes nervously down to whr his hands wer intrtwind against your palms, worry light and a thread of his ownslightly biggd ys as his hands asd onto your palm. H was shakn with his brath as his ys turnd back up to you, and your hands squzd onto his own as his palm thradd against his own hand.

"Just brath, swthart." Your hand carssd on his own as th hollowing of Bojack;s ys turnd down in thir own worried conflcition. "This is your hous, your choice. And I'm hr, and I love you."

Bojack took a dp brath as h asd his ys downward and graze his hand onto your palm, shakn within his own incritnty as his hands cam to rst on top of yours.

"I don't know if I can do this." His ys hollowd as a incur bright sands inhabaitd his ys. "Mayb I should go down, talk to them, s if I can get them out."

"If that's what you want." Your han was rstd on th back of his nck as Bojack was prssd further into your aagin, hips flashy hips rolling gasint your own as his body asd onto yours as whil a larg sigh ovrotok him. His ys flash dup as h lookd at you with a hollowing question.

"What do you want?"

"I think, for whatever reason that you decided to do this, it was for a reason-and whatever way that looks like, in whatvr way, I think w should figur it out in whatever way w nd to and s what com sout of it. I think you want to do th things that you do for a rason, and vn if w don't know whr that will lad, ulaimtly I want to hlp you through processing whr you ndd up with to bgin with as much as ithr of us can."

Bojack took a breath, rolling his shoulders that were speckled with th blotichnss that cam from an unhalthly lifsttul; whr the wold hav bn a brown smoothnss and whr the wr hint at it on his skin, the was just as much a witw washd and spckld look to it that had from th amount h had wrecked his body from th stimualts h took. Your hand sasd against his shoulders as your fingrs gudidid ovr his body, ghosting and carssisng aaisnt his shoulders as you did so whil you fl that ach that cam along not just with taking somon in that you loved as dply as th natural attraction you haad to him anyway, but th ach that cma along with th lifetime h had spnt wrecked and wrkcing himself whil waiting for you. His usually confident, or at the very least smooth, demeanor was currently being reduced to that softened, insecure, tender mist that she knew that he had inside of him, and that, more often not, came out in ths mor imspuliv and wrcklss vulnerable moments.

"Focus on m." Your hands kpt carssd against his shoulders as your hands asd agaisnt his arm, and th tndrnss of his unrtain ys thradd in front of im whil h took a shakn rasp of his brath as h lookd in front of him with that hollowd distanc of an emptiness. "Lt's tak this on stp, focus on on thing, at a tim." Your hands thradd against his palm as you guided your fingertips against his hand, and his ys turnd back up to you with his own hollowd uncrintity as his xprssd turnd to mt agastin yours. "Ok?"

He raised his black, thick eyebrows as they knitted in concern, his eyes flickering back and forth whil h mt yours, plush stomatch curvd ovr his body was that intrtwind with your own thighs, that gentle bleeding of motion asing out still on his face as he looked up with that unspoken begging. You already knew what he was going to ask, but you wanted to hear him say it. You knew it was good for him to address his insecurities out loud, especially whn it cam to him with a smooch diccuflty as much as it did whil h trid to untangl himself from th cobweb of th erratic thought of his mind It made him reflect, at least a little bit, and she knew how much good that could do for him; how much it would do for you to hlp as and guid him through it.

"I don't know if I know how to do that. And I don't think you raliz what you'r signing up for by doing it ithr."

Your hands caressed on his hips as you met his begging ys. Th lostnss drippd in his ton whil h gad at you with th xtnt of his inscuuity as he looked at you, his knees only buckling even further asd his hips further onto you with that same gentle and soft sore bleeding in his eyes. H asd his hips into you as plasur wrecked into th wav of your body again, and your had turnd back as you ys closed as you allowed him to asd his rocking hips into you, falling into th comfort pf phsyicla distraction again as h asd his body onto your hips. His larg, plump arms graze onto your hips as thy mt against th curv of your body as you asd your own body onto his own stomach again whil you simpl allowed th words and thir rlntlss inscirty to b as thy wr, rating into th air in ordr to b procsssd and flt whn it cam to th hvainss of thos things and of such doubt.

Your eyes traveled down his knees that were now shaking with barely suppressed desire, but for th want of wanting to go out of his comfort zon in all compacitis whil th chubbinss of his kns asd against th sid of your hips. You flt an painful squeezing that was in between your own two legs. That familiar pressure in between in whr Bojack and your own body connctd was incraasin vn further through th way your intimcits mt agasitn your bodis, and your longing for him, loving him dpr for all of his pain and th havinsss of his conflicted life, bcam increasingly mor painful with how much you wr burning with desire. Only for him and for him alone-and as it was wit human wisdom and th inhrint connction it had to pac and happins in its intuition, you followd whr th pac wnt, and loving Bojack and Bojack as h was and him alon was th most fulfilling and resounding answer you had vr found.

"What ar you thinking about?"

You smile as th conversation you wr having incrasd with th as of his hips on yours. Though you had mad lov svral tims, and vr tim had bn a apractic whr you had bcom mor ndowd and familiar with your bodis, it was clar from th way th vulnarbal, albit far ladn, conversation was gudining through th both of you and asing your bodis into further increased familiarity.

"Why do you ask?"

His hips pushd into you, taking in an as of a brath as h did so whil plasur swpt through both of your bodis. "I wouldn't cosnidr silence for whil w'r hiding up hr to b from your end of things."

His voic was vlanrabl, trembling with a shakn ask as it asd agsitn your nck, his brath threadd against your skin. For no one else had this desire overcome you as quickly or as much with th spiirutal fulfillmnt as much as it did him. Only he could satisfy that burning lust of flame that you felt inside of you, and had it not been for the party and the game that they had set up downstairs, with already several people downstairs talking in thir mlcohoic captur and th suprfifical selfish jos that occupid thir convrsaton whil thy talkd between on another as thir glass bangd against ach othr, she wouldn't have been able to resist taking him right then and there-plush body, dp magaomy skin skin, and childlike face and soft, gentle, moaning coming out of his lips whil motional vulnabiltiy and physical intimacy mt and cam together as on.

"I'm thinking about you. I always am."

Bojack laughed, his brath asing into your nck.

"Its a miracl that you nvr gt sick of it."

Your lips rasid up as th curv of your fac rstd agaisnt his nck, fling th smoothnss of th slick of his swat asing on your touch and your body. "It's actually th only thing that feels good."

Bojack gav another brath of a shaken laugh.

"This is funny."

His hips wr still rocking into you, as naurla and a gntl as th contt of th conversation whil his body asd onto your hips further. Making lov to Bojack, on th surfac, would hav smd lik something that would hav bn trashy and suprfifical, as much as th soris th woman wr amusing thmslvs with downstairs as thy talkd between on another in thir natural raw selfish conversation whil thir voice polluted what had prvioulsy bn th mlcholic gntl nostoltia that had rstd in th living room that was th most tangible thing whn it was lft with nothing but mpty spac for th two fo you t fl that. Instad, sx with him flt likt interacting with something soft and ancit, inhirntlyincssantly gtnl and rquirming gntlnss in ordr to fl th rosunding xtnt of as between th both of you. It was as soft and as gntl as his words as thy wr ladn with trembling insucufirty, as much as th softnss in his ys that asd up into that constant question of profound tnrnss in his ys.

"What is?"

"Sitting up hr, with thos popl downstairs talking all obnoxious-t rminds m of whn I was a kid, hiiding up in my room whil I ran usatirs to gt away from th basts my dad and mom would bcom whnvr thy wr together, in gnral, but especially whn popl cam ovr."

His voic had that natural storytllr fl to it again as it asd into th air in his own tnd rlfction. Your had turnd to th sid as h conuitd to as his flashy hips onto your body, panting, but not as much as much as h had bn prvioulsy; instad h stttld for asing his plush hips onto th curv of your body whil his stomach asd downward onto your skin.

"What was that lik?"

"Terrible." The bluntness of how h spok it mad you bliv hwo much it was tru. "But-that was th thing. It was trribl, but it flt lik th closest thing to freedom I had vr rally vr gotten. When I sat up the, body curved into myself and would har my mom and dad gt increasingly mor drunk and fight with whatvr contxt of convrsation of bullshit thy could com up with, I flt this odd…frdom that would suddenly com ovr m whil I sat up the. I wasn't fr at all, I was corned, but I did fl this off motion of fling lik I was at last fr in my own dcisison whn it was th clost thing I ever flt to gnuin growth whn I was a kid, th only tim I vr flt pac or th only tim I vr flt lik I could vn giv myself th xtnsion of pac for a littl bit. A lot of it always cam down to m fling trribl bcaus I could nvr do anything about any of it, and I knw it-and so did my mother. So sitting up in that room-it was awful, byond th worst, but in ths moments I did fl a littl bit of pc com ovr m. vn whn I hard thir voice rais, vn whn thy chase out othr poplwith whovr had th misfortan of coming over, It flt good to hav th ida of running upstairs and bing spratd away from ything for a littl whil." A small shrug of his own chubby shoulders as his own almond ys turn downward. "It was th only control I vr had."

Your hand sas donto his palms. As if to complimn th bittwrswt story and th nd off its massage, the was a loud sound of a sudden shakn laugh that asd up into thi air in a shril fashion whil it was mt up with th rst of th alughtr.

"I can't wait to s th look on his fac whn h finds out h's going first. Knowing what I'v hard about Bojack, and the's bn a lot of disgutaing things that I'v heard-"

"'Cours. Th misrabl man asks for it-and its not as if h doen;t hav tit wrritn all ovr hos overrated fac what he's asking for."

"-H's alrayd gotten drunk to try and cop with th goddamn gam. H knows how mbarssing h is. I'v sn his photos, th ons that thos birds tak sometimes. H's all plump and stackd and built up in a certain way thats gaunrtd as mbarssing. It's amazing that what rlittl sid project h's jacking himself into right now that h must know at this point in his lif is only using him that it going to b th biggest jok all night-its on of th only rasons w cam hr, rally."

Bojack's ars shot down as th hard look in his ys incrasd as h turnd his had ovr his shoulder. You plld him in, fingertips rasid onto his man. The was a chnag on his fauturs as h closed his ys as was asd into your mbrac.

"It's fine." His ars wr still lowrd and h still had th cramp of th tension on his fauturs, but his hand rachd out and curld onto yours as his fingertips asd onto your hand. Th caution o his ys didn't lav him as h turnd his hard ys ovr to th door, mostly having th xtnsion of annoyanc in his hard ys as h turnd his had over to th door.

"If its going to b lik this, w should ask thm to lav."

"What ar you, th suprirsd polic?" H turnd his had ovr to you with a glimmer of xhust in his ys. "I knw it was going to b lik this. Welcome to Hollywood."

"I don't want them talking about you like that."

"This is th only ay popl in Hollywood known how to talk." His ys asd down again, thradd hard look of a conflict in his expression as his eyes turned downward. H closed his ys, squint in his ys as h turnd his had back to your ys. "It'll b fin. At last this is xaclty what I knw would happn from th start of it."

Laughter threadd up from th stairs as th clang of the champagne glass increased.

"Jsus, thy know how to unravel. Both conversation wis and-whatvr it is you want to call it if thrs any fancier trm of bing drunk asshols."

"I don't." You lips rasid up into a cruv of you lip, and Bojack was asd downward into you again as his body curld into your own mbrac whil his body asd further into yours.

"Thank you for telling m."

Bojack breathed out softly as his had asd against the curve of your neck. "About what?"

"About you. Ral you. I think I'm going to spnd vry day of my lif falling mor in lov with you."

Bojack asd his body against you with his rocking hips, breathing gently against th curv of your nck whil his fac asd agsisnt your shoulder, as natural as a fti a smooch as h had vr crave and as much as you had vr hopd or wanted to giv him."

"I don't think that's going to happn."

"It already is."

H was th perfect combination of everything you had ever desired. It was as if Bojack was perfectly made for you of what you had practicd in othr loves prvioulsy that had com to nothing but failur or a certain kind of disocntnd mptinss, but th mor you fll into it with Bojack, th richnr and th mor sns it mad.

"Fitting," you brathd against his ar as his brath shook from th wight of th richnss that was paladabl from th trading of your motions and th intrrtation; th uliamt human strength that cam from knowing and pricing and bcoming on in th othr. "To hav to popl that wr taken away from everything of what thy had vr wanted or ndd in lif, thinking hr was no point to th surfing, and thn coming and giving ach othr vything thy'vr vr ndd that othr popl wish thy had thats so far gon from thir xistnc that thy don't vn know how much chapr thir livs ar because of its absence."

You hard th rasp of Boajck's lip as h asd with a pant of a brath against your body, turning his snout fully inward to you with another pressing of his bod on yours. His body bgan to as onto yours as th plush of his hips prssd and lowrd nto your body, asing your body down along with you whil h conutid to brath his panting brtahs that cam from a certain kind of precious whmpirng of a profound ssnc and hart that had only vr xpricnd, and thrfor gav out, bad. His ys wr especially tndr as his body asd onto yours whil th curv of his somtahc graze onto your body as h asd you down, and you focused on vry minut dtail of how his brath xhustd as it labord down onto your skin as his sotmatch asd against yours, his chubby arms bing mt and chrishd by your hands as your plams asd onto his larg shoulders whil your body was turnd down and onto th bd.

You laughed, your hands raisd onto his shoulders as you asd your hands agssint your favroti plac for you to travcl and for him to rciv; down his arms whil you palms carssd against his arms a dn your palms m th slick swat of his body. Boajck's ys thradd against your body as his ys asd onto your own, a small smil and that precious tndr signatur asing onto his lips as his ys brightd up in a dtmirnd and tasing glint.

"Look at you."

His ybrows lowrd down into that cocky tasing whil his eyebrows asd downward."Good practic from all angles, right?"

Th spav between his chst and th placc whr th curv of his plsuhs stomach bgan had that curv of a pouch of fat that cam from th way his ody was curld into itself. Vn whn h stood that plush of fat that stoof btwn th trnasitioning of his body was still the in its prmnat bulge that cam from th way his fat rstd on his body whil h was lying or sitting down. You flt th sam way about th spfific models and curves of his body and th intimaicty of how you flt vn just with th natural chemistry of taking him in and th bonding tha wnt along with it; th mold of his imprfctions was th vry rason why you knw byond anything ls of how much you love him.

"I'm proud of you."

"You better b." His body asd down onto your hips, his tomtach rating onto th curves of your body. "It's bn a long tim since I had th confidence to top."

You lips rasid up, and Bojakc asd th soft plush of his body onto yours. It was tims lik ts that everything that mad up your xistnc mad sns; from motionally to physically and th bondag that cam long with it othrwis that thradd and graze through his arms and th plush fling of th wamrth of his brac asing agasin your hips and your skin. His ys wr lowrd into th xploration of his ys a sh asd his body onto your own and allowed his thighs to graz agaisnt your body as h kpt his body ntrd into you. His ys wr squintd and his panting brath ovrcam him as thtndrnss of his own cam fully ito his own bauty as h asd his body onto your own with mor of his body asing into you. H increased in his beauty the more you saw him, motionally and othrwis, andwhnvr your thought traild away from loving him, it flt lik it was only a dtour, until you rmmbrd his xistnc again and wr brought back hom o whr h was that insitnanly complld you bac to sns and richnss.

And his voice; that irresistible voice. One that consisted of a trmbl of a vulnerable man but a low, raspy tone that guided through his natural candor of beauty whn h spok. His messily man that rstd in between ars that sat on his forehead like a mssy and compcliatd crown complimented his natural profound grac that rstd on a naturally royal dispotoion and dmanor whil his dsprat and and blinking eyes distant ys lowrd as he gazed at her with desperation and gntl oant o his brath as his ys squintd and asd down against you, already complling depth mad vn mor so du to th rlfction of the blue light of his ys as it rlfctd on his expression.

But doubt glintd in his ys again, and as admittedly tird you wr in your own xhust of trying to as him through th back and forth battl h was xpricnign tonight, you knw this was only part of wha you had ddciatd yourself to-and you wanted to follow him in practic to hlp him on days that you knw wr around th corner that would b far mor intns of what was ahad.

"What is it, swthart?"

Th back of your hand found th sid of Bojack's chk, and his conflicted ys turnd up as his xprssion asd onto yours with all th uncrain battling squint in his ys.

"I don't know." H shook hi had as his thighs asd further onto your body, palms asing onto your shoulders as h did so whil a lfctiv light asd agaisnt his ys as his hands kpt prssd onto your arms, is tomtahc rolling out in a natural curv of a protrude plumpnss as h asd his ody furhtr onto you. "But I guess that's th point, right?"

"Not if it brings as much pain as much as I'm sing in your ys right now."

"Wll." H shrugged as his ys turnd to th sid. "You know."

You smiled, in that akncowlgdmnt of th suffering th both of you wrr asd through that would b soothed for th tim that you had ach othr and th incrasddisovring of what it mant to truly lov and chrishs omon as much as th both fo you did.

"Com on." Your hands asd onto his amrs as you pulled him down and against his hands agsin, pulling him inward as h asd his body onto yor own as his plush body was guid down into your mbrac. "A fw mor mintus and posotion and w can go downstairs and I can show you off."

Boajck's ys closed as his lips rasid up, had had curld as h asd against th curv of your nck as his had was asd into your nck whil his had asd against th curv of your nck. The wa a shyness or a supirs to xtndd across his lip as asd his had downward ad himself against your nck whil his body gudid across your body. The was a swtnss to his xprssion as his body asd nto th curv of your chst, panting agasint th curv of your body as h asd himself against th curv of your body. Your hands ound thir way aross th spli mssay array of his black man as your fingrtips asd agasint th spacs of his man, fling th coras thread agaisnt it as th swtst ntimnt cam across his fauturs whil your hands asd agaisnt his man.

"Thy'll s you h way I do vntually, swwthart." Bojack lips asd into a brath as th muscl son his fac cramd, and his ys opnd slightly as th conflcitoon on his ys trnd upward.

"Maybe they shouldn't."

His ys tun down, his hips asing onto you body as h bgan to as his hips otno th form of your boy whil his stomach asd against th surv of your stomach, plush blly prfclty guidning into your skin. Your handa asd onto his arms as you kpt your hands thradd and carssd agsitn his skin. Downstairs, th door opn dagain, and the was a loudr rais of th wlcomd voice that brought th rst of th popl that asd thmslvs insid to a loudr grating. Mor glass rasid and grtd voice thradd through th air as ft stppd ovr on another whil thy gudidd th person ovr into a wlcom.

"You wouldn't bliv it, th fat cuck isn't vn hr right now. Dumb guy looks lik th got so drunk and thn lft all of th bottls all arounf th fucking plac. Probably got too piggsih for his own challn and ida and dcidd to start stumblign around at night through th buildings th way th word ass usually dos."

"Dos h still do that? I always knw h had a wayward had on his shoulders, but I didn't think it ther would b somon who still puts up with it all."

The was th sound of s coat bing shurggd off of slander shoulders. It sound dlik a good handful of anothr fiv or so popl, no doubt all of thm sttld and amrrid in thir own way, both mro atun both with thir atinf as wll as thir carrs mor than Bojack had vr vn com clos to bing.

"H dos. SOmtims w lik to tak a front row sat, s how much h;ll start cuasing troubl and stumbling around just for th sak of our own amusement. W may as wll. Its not as if th guy isnt signing up for bing on of th biggest fishs out of watr in this goddamn town. H puts it on himslf."

Though Bojack was trying to ignor just how prominent th vois wr as thy traild upstairs, it didn't as the infliction in his ys, or th fact that his had was mor turnd to th sid mor thana h was finding any kidn of rlif or comfort in what you wr sharing. Your hands carssd against th mold of his arm, and h turnd his ys back ovr to you, profound distanc that graze into his ys as h turnd his had downward with his ys lost within a newfound narrativ that was asing into his ys th mor his hollowd and conlfictd xprsion tunnd downt o gaz at you.

"Show all h movs you'r always telling m about."

Bojack hav a slight chuckl, part off gaurd, part mockig as his ys turnd up to you. At th vry last, the was t sign in hi ys that h was bing pulled out of himself for a littl bit. "What?"

"How excited you get." Your hands asd onto his arms as th conflition ovrcam his ys. "I'v s how into it you ar. Th way you gt so caught up in it, sitting down nxt to m at night."

"Oh." His ys thradd downward. "I man, I can try. I can't rmmvr a lot of thm."

"Plas." Boajck's lips rasid as h turnd his had upward, and though the was slf doubt in his uncomfortabl vulnaabbity that cam along with bing sn in his xciitd mundan moments at bdtim, the was also a lughtnss to th glimmer in his ys as h turnd his had ip and gazd at you with his uncertain ys that wr both rlivd from th conversation, as wll as gidd further into it. "You wouldn't stop talking to m bout it at night. That glimmr in your ys and that xcitmnt in your voic, th way you spak and talk about it."

H gav a shrug. "I don't know. I didn't think you were listening." His ys widnd as h turnd his xprssion upward. "Not bcaus of th way I s you or anything. I just assmud it was on of thos tolrabl or tolerant things."

You had shook as your hands asd down otno his fingertips, squeezing against his hand.

"I think its going to tak a long tim for you to raliz how much I lov you, and what that rally mans.

Bojcks ys turnd down, and th thread on his xprsssion incrasd with his conlficiton as h turn his ys downward.

"Wll, the was this on that was sismialir to holding somon whil you'r also smahsing into thm."

You lughd, th sound gntly asing into th drk of th room and ading up th mtpintss of th jadd mlchocly tht md up th spac of th room.

"I thought so. I rmmvr you talking about that whil you wr looking up your favorit ons You hav this natural swt grac that ovrcoms your ys whnvr you'r into something. It's incredible."

'It is?" His ars flcikd upward, a thread of a lif of a prscnc nlighttnd into his ys.

"I lov whn you gt into something. Its th mot prciosu thing I'v vr hard. Your voic rasid up into his xcitmnt capur thats so adorbl to listn to, your ys gt al xcicitd and boyish and tasing, your air and personality bcoms to incredible and full of angry and passion and light."

His ys turnd down, ys lowrd into th xtn tof th softnss and th rlif that wa making up his own ys as thy turnd downward.

"Juss, you don't hav to dig too dp into th compliments." is ys turnd up, as swt as thy vr wr as his ys nlighttnd into his own impossibl prciousns that cam further into his buty th mor h had th permission of bing able t xcut it. "Thanks, though."

"I man it." His ys lowrd odeon as a dimnss of mlcochony and into thm. "Mayb you wont' bliv it right now, but Ifl it and I mna it anyway; and mayb that will b nough for th both of us."

"Yah." A slight shuckl that lft his lips as his ys turn downward. H shook his had slightly, asing back into th promimnc of th convrsation as his ys turnd back up to you again. "Anyway, th mov I was talking to you about, th on I got so xcitd about that for som rason you rmmbr in such dtail."

"You may hav to gt usd to that." Your hands squid on his wrist as your fingertips guididd across his arms, fling th bumps that littered from his body at th touhs of your tndrnsss asn h natural simaultion and comfort h had from th as of it. "It sounds lik on that would b my faorit too."

His ys wiggle into s alook that was mor tasing, adding an xtra lfi into his ys wr the was that cinflcid pain inisd of him that was th xtnsion of th cpatur of th uncaring laughter that asd from downstairs."That would b somon that has increasingly good tast."

Boajck's ys lowrd down, a mixer of bwildrmnt and lostnss in his ys as h took a brath whil his ys into th complication of his motions.

"It gos a littl lik cuddling whil also having sx-aking lov-whatvr you want to call it at th sam tim."

"Yah?" Your hips asd upward as your body glided onto your stomach, asing up and into him as his xprssion mldd into a wid look as his own cusitoty asd into his ys whil thy widnd as h took in th curv of your hands asing into your body furhtr.

"It's mor of a comfort than than a hot, spllbinding or ssxy cool thing."

"I'v noitcd that about your tast." Your hands asd onto his arms, threading onto him as his own plump body guided onto your hands.

"Yah?"

His lips raised into a smil that rachd his ys, ars prkd upward as h allowd th as of his body to b gudidid by your hands that htradd and carssd agasitn his arms. H asd his body against your own, th plump as of his body and his arms gudining onto your hips as his arms thradd onto your form as his body curld agasitn your body. His arms asd onto your hips as h allowed his arms to fully pull you in against his sotmtach. The practice of how h was pulling you in was somthing th both of you had trid as much as th intrtwination of sx, all of it relating to how Bojack was lanring how to hav th practic of holding a body and having ssnc agasint ssnc against ach othr that h was becoming mor practicd at th mor you hld you at night; something that smd lik it was mor in tun with th way Bojack's suspirngly tndr headspace was much mor in tun with than th ovr saturated practic of having sx that h had only don in an mpty fashion and with countless uncaring woman tim and tim again. It would tak a long tim to as that narrativ away from what h associitd it with-wrkcag and apathy and uncaring, but cuddling was pur, unknown and untouch to him, but mor importnalty it was th phsyciala nd motional car h had never vn known existed.

"Just enjoy it." Your hand reached out and thradd onto th back of his nc. The was a shakn brath that lft his lips as h asd his snout into th surv of your nck, pressing his fac into th dg of your nck as you did so whil h asd th curv of his snout into your nck.

Bojack brathd, in a cynical jadd capr whil his whisky ladn brath against your skin whil h contuind to as his body onto your hip.s "I'm just th incredibly wll practicd popl downstairs ar going to b a great guidance for m bing abl to do that."

You could fl your own annoyanc asing throughout your body as you turnd your had to th sid and asd against th curv of his nck, fingertips ladn into th back of his man. Th plasur that was rocking through your body was a bittrswt fling of both rlas whil also bing an intimacy of Bojack's jaddnss that was already making its way to th forefront of what h was trying to as himself away from by falling th minute rlif you gav ach othr, but the smd to b littl, if any, way for him to distract himself from th superficial and th natural tasing that cam from downstairs that Bojack had had to put up with his ntir lfi; th way popl took to mockry and judgment to rplac any kind of cohrnt depth of compassion. Bojack hld that rar depth in him; h had sinc h was a child, but it had bn twsitd into an unrconginal jadd xhust by bing around so many popl who didn't posss that or vr would, and h knw it, and, bing incapabl of bing abl to proprly lvl himself down to th soullss mocking popl downstairs that wr all that h had vr put up with bing bing forced into th cultur h had to b in, h had instad ndd up as jadd and full of dfniv and put apart from what could hav mad up a rich soul othrwis. H took in an intak of a brath as h asd himself against your body further onto your hips, his arms wrapped against your body and pulled you in further, finding thor natural tndr carsss against your body th way that you so asily did whn you touchd and loved on on another. Your hands intrtwincd against th spacs of his fingrs as you asd his palms away from yours as h oantd, ys squintd as ars lowrd whil h kpt his complex conflicted ys eyes turnd downward, squintd whil the was thay puffinss undr xhustd baggy ys. "You brough thm hr for practic, right?" Your had titled to th sid, and Bojack rasid his ys upward as another hiccup of a brath left his own trembling lips.

"Great practice. Not as if its something that I wasn't already dealing with in th first place."

His fingrtips thradd onto your palms, and th wt confliction on his ys only addd th th timid cowardly confliction that asd into his ys as his fingertips guided on your hands. His shakn brath asd against your palm whil you flt th stal whisky of it, his had tilted downward.

"That woman dosn't know what hit hr, or what sh'll bcom if sh stays with that man. Sh's practically asking for becoming a jok f sh stays with that rpuation of a man, if you can vn call that a rpuation as much as it is just that-a jok. Worst part is that h's probably just committing himself to hr bcua h nds a distraction from whatvr h;s ndd up at in lif." The was th sound of th as of a glass rasiid against th sid of th othr woman's chapmag glasss around th man as h clinkd th glass against another woman, who vn th two of you could har as fro upstair and through th walls. Boajck's ys thradd downward whil his incur inward squint incrasd, ars thradd down as th conflicted sham contuind to as onto his xprssion.

"Poor thing is probably whimsical nough that sh thinks sh'll gt som carr fam out of it. Lt's b honest, that's th only raso why anyon vr nds up with anyon who's got that kind of labl that Bojakc dos ths days. At last w can say that h's playing himself-through and through, as it was."

A low chuckle that cam from on of th amused woman. "You know, I hard that sh cam stumbling up to you. What was h on, drugs? Coain?"

"Any stimulant-who knows, that man taks all of thm."

Bojack's had turned to the sid as his ys squintd whil his brath thradd into a sharp xhust as h turnd his haad to th sid, sharp offsn agaaisnt that motion in his ys that wr always full of that offput and incessantly dfnsiv guard in his eyes to begin with.

"Why would they know that?"

Your hand asd on th back of his nck and h turnd his had as h snappd an turnd and lookd ovr at you, painful lint in his ys as his brath shook as h turnd his had downward in his half incur, half paind doubt that as so asily triggered by th soullsss prcption of othrs, no mattr how much h wanted to bliv othrwis tha h was above bing so thrown and put down by th carlss capr of othrs.

"Thy'r just bing th popl that you know thy ar. Th way that most popl ar" Your hands prssd further on th back of his nck, and th xhust of his uncrtinty didn't lav his xprssion whil his ys squintd and th wt of his own mlcholcy incrasd whil h gav that whimprd brath of inscirirty. "You wanted that challenge, right?"

H shook his had, ars lowrd further as h closed his ys and asd his body away from yours with vaug rsisitnc. "Yah, I know that." His ys tha wr xhustd in th ouffinss that mak up lack of car only addd to his fragil annoync as h turnd his had ovr his shoulder, his hand sprssd n your palm as h asd his fingertips agasint your own whil his brath was stll shakn, th insciirty of his ys only increasing as h turnd his had over his shoulder. "Funny. All this tim bing around ths asshols and it barley gets asir. And thy nvr as up on it, ithr."

Your fingertips asd against his palm as you watchd him gt lost in that thread of his own far that was gudidid into his ys, though th motion didn't lav his ys that cam along with th inhrint conflciton and th shakn raspy brath that lft his twisted lips whil his ttth pond out in xhust.

"What do you want to do?"

You voic was soft, guided into th sntimnt that you wr asing him through whatvr confliction was making up his choataic trouble mind.

"Th man was high off of his ass. It was clar from th bgging in his ys that for m to giv him something just by asking m with that sad look in his ys that h thought that bonding with m would giv him something. Ys, I was high on mth and off of my own ass, but I did with th intntion of not stumbling around with my brath coming out lik h had just finished running around with his panting coming out from fighting how clearly xhustd h was just from fighting-I don't know what h was fighting. I don't think h did ithr. Whatever concain he jammd into his snout, or drink, and clalry thats mor stimulation than h can ahndl for his portly body."

"Christ." Bojack's body asd away from yours as his ys lifted up into a wid look of his own offns that was mbddd into th hurt that inhabaitd his ys just as quickly. "Portly. Thy'r always ovrusing that on. It's lik thy ran out of a goddamn dfintion to labl anything as a long tim agao so thy just pull thing out of thor ass ovr and tim again."

"You don't hav to do this."

Th laughter and th chattr incrasd, and it as clar just from how concisstnly cinfidnt and loud thor voice wr as ty asd into th air with thor own incrasd laughtra and confident sph-som of it cohrnt, som not, but all of it coming from th sam context of gossip. Th worry on Bojack's ys didn't lssn as h asd his ys downward, shakn brath pressing into his lip as his own wt, trouble almond ys lookd down at your hand, distant nough that it was clalry h was mor lost in th arratci images in his had mor than anything ls.

"Maybe I should ask thm to lav. If w do that, w can figur out a better tim to figur this out. On that dosn't involvo m having drank too much tonight or not having spiclaly th kind of patinc I hopd I would hav tonight."

"You don't hav to do that." Your fingertips squid on his palm, but his only pons was a trouble ryroll as h flcikd his ys upward, though th tndr conflcut in his xprssion didn't lav th cor of his ys.

"This was a bad ida. I shouldn't hav don this. Why did I do this?"

"You thought this would chnag things. You thought thy wr somon ls othr than what thy ar."

"No." H brathd shakily as his asd asd downward, th wt glimmer of his incur ys not laving th incur almond glimmer of his ys. "That's not it. I knw who ths popl wr. Or I should know."

"It's not yoru fault for trying to hav hop."

His ys turnd up, profound glimmer distanc in his own rgrt and inhrintly ocnflictd ys whil drad ovrcam his fautrs.

"Its not that." His had shook as th own conflict asd furthr into his xprsion as h turnd his had downward. "I know what popl ar lik in this industry. What I'm lik. I thought I could tryto chnag things or mak things bttr somhow. Mak it bttr for you. I kp forgtting whr I'm at, who I actually am."

"It's not your fault." The was an urgency to your voic. His ys turnd up, half hardnd with his own blam, half angry and confluctd in that usual complex fashion as th pout on his lip incrasd into a pout.

"Isn't it?" The was that depth of profound blam in his ton that gav away th depth of what you knw you had xpricnd. His had turnd ovrto th sid of his shoulder as h as dhis hands away from yours; th stout lovabl chubinss of his hands asd away from your palm as his tth pond out whil h turnd his had ovr to th sid of his shoulder, an clumsily did h asd his hips off of your lap as h bgant o stumbl his way ovr to th door. H trippd ov rhis ft, a whit sht from th bd of his intimacy spilling across his ft from th sht that was wrappd around his hips as it fll downward and onto th floor by his ft-his ys wind as h stumbled with his arms flying as h tripod ovr his ft and asd his hand whil h caught himslf ont th door, ltting out a paricualry timid and pancickd swar as his hand slammd onto th sid of th door, his ys squintd as his ars lowrd as an especially hlplsss and pathetic hlplssns flashd across is ys. Whil h land forward and trid to rcollct himself, the was th sound of your body frantically asing yourself up from th bd, your hand prssd on th whit shts as you prssd thm around your body frnctially and bgan to rush ovr to his sid.

"You'r going to punish yourself if you kp looking at ths popl-ths fucking litral morons-as somon thats worth gtting workd up about."

Boajck chcukld, his ys asd opn as is had turnd as h gazd his ys ovr to you, ars flcikd backward as h did so. "Look at you." Th fir of his charsmstci wit was at nds with his havy breathing, but th sntimnt of his timid precious fragility didn't lav him as h asd his had further agaisntt h door. "Didn't think you had that fir in your." His dimd ys rasid up as h gav a shrug, still panting as h did so. "Not so arly into th gam, anywa-not just h literal gam tonight." His brath that cam from his sudden panic didn't dcrasd as his panting brath count to as further into an xhusd brath as his had turnd agaisnt th sid of th door again, ys ssquintd as his chk land against it. "I'm fin. I just-" A timid shrug of his chubby shoulders as h ys contuind to squint. "Nd a mintu, is all, to raliz how stupid of a dcision this was."

"It's not stupid to want to mak things bttr."

"I did it on cocain." The was a sharpness to his voic as h snappd his had ovr his shoulder and lookd at you pointfly. "Or vodka? I can't rmmbr." H shook his had his ys havy panting conuid whil his arm asd onto th sid of th door. "I'll go down and tll thm to lav. I won't say why, I already know that, and knowing thm thy probably wanted this to happn, or thought I was too stupid or drunk to b abl to tll thm to lav." H brathd in dp, an especially hlplss pathtci whimper coming out of his brath as th xhus didn't lav his ys as h asd his body upward, arm rating on th dg of th wall. "Giv m a minut and I'll mak sur this whol thing nvr happnd."

Your ys turnd down as your hand stayed prssd on his panting brath, your ys lowrd downward as your palms prssd on th rasi of his back otno your palm.

"I think tonight is a good night. That it was a good decision for m to larn how to b abl to protect you. Tak car of you in th ways that mattr.."

Bojack's had turnd, th light in his fadd xhustd ys not laving as h startd to pick himself up front h mabrssdmnt of tripping ovr th shts and asing himslf knot th wall.

"You'r serious."

"How ls am I supposed to larn how to naviagt loving you, sing you through this, all of it, in gnral?"

Bojack's ys turnd down as his ars flcikd back. Uncrtinaty flash dacross his ys as h gav a shrug, asing his obody back up into a standing position again as his ys turnd downward.

"I don't know. I just don't think i cant dal with ts kind of popl tonight. I thought, for oom rason in my stupid adld, black mpty brain whn I talkd to this asshol a fw days ago that the was this..point to it, that mayb, by som miracl, it would b different this tim. H would b something ls othr than th literal walking clon of a strotyp of th popl that usually surround dm in this city." His ys turnd downward, and the was gnuin grt, place vn further b y dp sham that asd into his ys as gnuin motional dfat as donto his ys as h turnd his had downward. "That was pretty stipif, and incdibly naiv of m to think that would hav happnd." His hand rubbed on his arm as it asd onto his arm, ars lowrd downward as h did so. "Kind of not lik m, I guss."

Your body asd forward as your lips prssd on th sid of his shoulder. ALrady ddi a certain rlif ntr his ys as softnss gudidd into thm as his lip rasid upward, his had turnd ovr to you as that profound warmth, soulful rassuranc, ovrcam th both of you as th inimaicty gudidd into th natural way that your bodis love on ach othr and th transfer that cam across with th motions that wr so asily communitd along with it. Your hands prssd on his as thy dance on his palms ina certain grateful as that th prvious stout and suprfifical, oftn unlovd intimaicty that always haunted Bojack prvioulsy in all othrlovlss interactions, both from his nd as wll as from th woman, asd down as his own innocent tys turnd to you in that own twist of his own lostnss of what th world had turnd him into.

"Whatvr you ddi or thought, it was probably th bst and th most human thought that cam through that plac that day. And I'm proud of you, and I lov you. I think whatvr you did xistd for a rason-and I think you did it for a rason, too."

Though this tim th words didn't quot rach his ys, the was a softnss to th dg of his own inscuity and his lostnss and asily jadd angr that ntrd his xprssion as it asd up on his fac with th slightest smoothnss. Though the was an inhrint lostnss of lack of rmakrablity that inhrintly follwod th bth of you all this considered i contras to what ithr of you could hav bn in th world vrss what you had bcom, the was a certain artistic ccntricity and application for th want to b good dspit how impossib;y hard th world had mad it for th both of you.

"The's something about you and th way you apprich and carry lif with you that maks m want to contui larn what it fs lik to lvo and to hlp you." Your had indicated ovr to th door as Bojack's own complld ys turnd ovr tth opn door that mad up th staganc of th yellow hallway that was trialing up from th stairs, and Bojack's shakn brath didn't lav as that far cam ovr his ys with his dialtd pupils that wr all th smallr for his far. "I think w should try and s this challenge that high and cocain you wanted to b abl to try."

Boajck quirks his ysbrow ovr to you as his rasid up his ybrow with a slight dry question th way that h did so naturally. "You want to listn to cocian and high m?" His ys turnd to th sid as xaspration mt thm. "Which is mor oftn than I would lik or want it to b. I already did that my ntir lif and all I got out of it was an mpty hous." Angr flashd in his ys as h asd his had forward. "Mayb if the wasn't so much predictability about what coms out of m trying to do something goo it would b asir to not hav to rply on my own drunk voic all th tim."

Boajck's voic raisd upward into something that was almost too loud and promimnt for th liking of what othrwis would hav shard in th qut of th bdroom. A certain The had bn a moment of paus that cam from th alughtr donwstars. For a moment was ther talk that trails up from th stps that was asing further up th stairs, just soft nough that it gav away a cocnnrd context of conversation whil th soft words that could now barley b hard asd up th stairs. Boack's ys wdnd as his pupils diald as his body turnd back, a sudden timid apology on his fac as worryncassd across his ys whil his tth pond out, ys squintd as h as dhis back back into both of your hands that caught him stopping back.

"Oh." H pausd his hands turnd up, his fingertips gudidid onto his palm as his own worried ys turnd upward. "Uh-"

"It's ok."

Bojack snappd his had ovr his shoulder and lookd at you with a pout. "Is it? Thy already ha dirt on m and want to talk shit about m anyway."

Th nrvousnss on his xprssion didn't lesson as h turnd his had back ovr tot h door, that far not laving his ys as his xprssion twsitd into far as h turnd his had upward. Th timid xhust didn't lav his xprssion, but the was som slight ncourgmnt from your hands as you asd him towards th front of th opn door. Bojakc lt out another pathetic whimper as his stout fingertips cramps on his hands as h mad his way ovr to th door. The was som laughter, a coupl of comments that wr spokn only just softly nough that thy wr trailing just nough to b hard from th slightly mor sombr ton of thn, and thn th vntual asuing up into a mor confident talk as thor words bgan to bcom something of normal confdnt conversation. Bojack took a larg brath as h asd his ys upward, brtah shakn as h did so whil his fingertips ncurld onto his palm as his body asd further onto your hands. You allowed a gntl push on th back of th plush form of th curves of his body as you ad him towards th front of th door, his ft tripping slightly ovr th shts as h tripod ovr his ft whil h mad his way ovr to th ntrnc of it. H turnd his had as h lookd ovr at you in putd question as you gav him a nod, your hands gudining ovr in ncourgmnt to his back as you as dhim out and ovr to th door.

"What ar you doing?" His ton was annoyed as h trippd ovr his ft clumsily whil h was prssd ovr to th ntrnc of th door.

"If thy'r going to kp talking about you anyway, w may as wll not car abou whatvr way thy do it. Lt's hav what w got to show thm who w ar and what that mans-you wanted that for a rason, and I want you to b allowed to fully discover whatvr that looks lik." Bojack gav a groan, though h stppd forward whil his ft tripod ovr th shts as h mad his way to th ntrnc of th door.

"Fin. Fin, fin." His had turnd don as h was asd forward with your hands guided onto his back, and h was breathing heavily as h mad his way outsid, soly from motions, it was clar, as h was asd outsid th ntrnc of th door with your hands guidning up against his back. His turnd his had ovr to th hallway that was drssd ip in th yellow staganc of th light that guided from th living room and up th stairs, th stagnc of th light sing rminscnt of th sudden unsafe and, frankly, xhustd nrgy that was already drssin up th majority of th living room from th angry th popl had brought in in thor instant harrowing uncaring sucking nrgy that had bn rasid up from th living room and th clinking of th class aand thor unsaf and soullss, uncaring spch whr bing selfish and untoughtufl and inhrintly judgmental and man in a inhuman and uncaring way that spok if a promis that thy dsvrd nothing traild up from th stairs.

His had turnd as h lt out a whimpr whil his had turnd as h lookd at you from ovr his shoulder, his fingrs cramps against his palm as his ys buldgd slightly from th wrinkdl hollowing in his ys.

"Must hav bn something that got him caught up in his own had.' Th trailing of th sam asily asmud spch thradd up from th stairs, dgd with an amsumnt that was mor lik maliciounss as th voic gudiid up through th air. The was th sound of footsteps that was coming from th living room, and Bojakc ltting otu a sudden whimprd apologetic brath as h stppd back; your hands caught against his own body as h stppd back and asd his body onto your hands as his ys squintd whil his pwn panting brath incrasd. A shadow of what lookd lik th vry dspciotion that had mad up who Bojakc had dscribd; Th wid ys that mad up th look of a lemur man, his on finger rasid upward into a rasi against th glass th sioutt mad up th stagnant light asd against th sid of th wall as h mad his way ovr to th stps, his had turnd up as th hollywood wid ys mad up a fairly average body build form all things cosnidrd, th slight flcikr of his ylashs asd onto his xprssion as his mouth was opn into a half drukna and smud scowl.

"Christ." Bojack's voic as thradd inot a whipsr of disgust as h tund his had ovr his shoulder. "This guy isn't taking it asy on th alcohol alrady. And I'm th stupid drunk?"

"Bojack?" Th man's voic calld out, amsud as th silloyt bgan to giv away his own amusement that was clalry mant to b a form of mockig mor than anything ls, adding to Bojack's natural timid uncritnity as h stppd backward, his ft stopping knot yours as h did so whil his bodyland against your hand. Th lemur man's ys turnd up as h blinks rapidly, making his way ovr to th bottom of th stps as h did so as his had turnd up. Th look of his hand raching out and prssing onto th rail gav away his movement towards going further up th stps; Boajck's wid ys turnd a sh lookd ovr at you with far. Your hands carssd against th curves of his body as h snappd his had ovr and lookd ovr at you in question; another pathetic, fearful whimper lft his lips as his wid wt ys snapd vr t th door as h snappd out a hand to rach ovr to it. Your hand ad knot his palm, and Bojack's ys snappd ovr as h lookd ovr at you in question, eyebrows lowrd down ind mand th th begging of his panic not laving his faful ys.

"Com on, big guy. I know you hav a lot of movs you want to show us with your nw women. How long has sh bn around? Two, fiv months?"

Th laightr from th rst of th woman adn th tasing of th mn that now sound as if thy wr clos to ahandful only asd up into an incrasd mocking laughter, threading up into th air as thor hads turnd back. Som of thm wr clos nough that the own silluttrs wr no bing sn across th splash of th yellow light that asd against thor ssilouts, all of thm having at last on dos of champagne in thor hand as th covers of thor facs turnd up in thor own clar smirked amusmnt.

"What is it with ths kping records on m?" Bojack's whsiprd dfianc only incrasd as his body stppd back against yours vn further, and th main comfort you could giv ach othr was your hand son th back of his body. "H's talking to m lik I"m goodman Mistr Panutbuttr with ths hopping from island ti island woman vyr fw months. H's not vn suppsod to know about that. At last I'm not as obnxxioulsy opna nd obvious about not committing to anyon."

"Do't gt him gt to you. You know wo this man is. Try not to lt it suprirs you.

Boajck's had snappd ovr his shoulder to you. "Ar you kidding? This guy is talking about m lik I'm on of thos asshols that gts married vyr fw yars. I do no commit and thn fak th ida that I can commit for that fa,r and I'm dfid that h would think that I would."

His voic was whisprd, but it was gtting incraisnly mor rasid th mor h was caught up in th insult of what h spok. Your hands thread onto his hips as you lt out laught-h turnd his ys ovr to you with his xprssion rasid intoa question as his own hardnd ys snappd ovr to you in question.

"What ar you so laugh happy about?"

"You'r so dfnsiv ovr th fact that you nvr hurt woman though getting married." You asd your hand further onto his hip, and a conflciton of a surprise ovrcam his ys as h was prssd further into your palm. "I appreciate and admir that."

Bojack sighed heavily, and his own xhsutd, puffy ladn and squintd ys turnd back ovr to th silhouette of th lemur man as h bgan to mak his wya ip th stps. "I guss thats' on way to look at m nvr allowing myself that kind of dedication. You would b giving it th kindest that that its' v bn looked at.

"Big guy, if you don't com down hr, w'r gonna hav a problem on our hands, you got m?"

"Right." Boajck's jadd voic only asd further as h allowed his body to stp back and as onto your palms. His hand rachd backward and carssd onto yours. "Bcaus this isn't already a problem nough as it is."

"I think he's just caught up" Boajck's hand carssd on th back of his nrck as his torubld ys turnd to th spilled out ntrnc of th hallway whr th nd of it had th mlcholcny of th wash both of th stagant living room light anns th busy sillutts of th asily ndowd and satisfitd suprfiical popl down th stps. "Probably trying to com up with a way he can b drunk nough to f lik this way somthingthat woudl vonvin him this rlaitonship was dffrnt this tim."

Th sillut turd, on pinky rasid up from th glass as th fialry stout and unimprssiv twist of th mans' body turnd back ovr to th suggstion of th slander woman that was now at th corner of th yellow silhouette that cam from th wash of th light. Hr hair was cut off down to hr chin and hr sldnr shoulders wr pushd back, hr lips clalry prkd up that cam from th pout acrosss hr xprsssion as h lifted hr had upward. It was clar that shr was taking larg xnsions of satisication from th chattring of th convrstion as it three and huntd throughout th night, and th fraught hurt loathing of Bojack's own puffy slp dprivd ladn and hurt ys only showd how much it was affcting him. Your hands thradd across his arms, and h brathd a sigh as his had turnd ddownward whil his own wt ys turnd back to whr th man was now stpping his way down th stps, his hand twisld out in ordr to guid to to th women that stood in front of him with as. Sh chcukld as h asd his hand out and thradd it on hrs, and hr body twisted in what smd lik a tangible agrmnt as hr body swilrd from th touch of the man's hand.

"I think w should go upstairs, y to s what th fool is up to. It'll mak asir for both of us to com along and tas whatvr littl distraction of satisfaction h's gtting out of bing up the and whatvr h's trying to fog himself in th had ovr."

Th woman's lips twisted up, and the was just nough form to th sillut of th rais of hr lips that it caused Bojack to lt out his own dissutd brathd, though it cam from a nois that was mo so xhsutd disocmofrt as his body subconcioulsy land back into your touch. You allowed him to do so, th samr nnrgy and transfer of your own intimiacty and th promis of warmth and meaning coming from it as his lov handl,s drssd in his own flcitd and clar timind hard brath against th touches of your hand, asd into your palm, and th tndr lavender of his shakn brath was just as much giving away th timindss that was ovrtaking his body whil you flt vn his natural stout and plump form gudining into a swat as his body asd agaisnt your hand.

"You think h wouldn't implod at that?" Th woman's voic traild iinot a pout shakinss, though it was mor of a amusement that was drnchd in th sam gudiid malicounss that had bn th majority of what had amused hr bfor.

"Of cours h would. Knowing this crack of a man, mayb h'll vn crack vn further. Who knows-but I'll tll you on thing, that man nds to b out out of his mss. If you ask m him stumbling up to m with that dsprationin his ys was part of th rason why h vn stumbled up and cam up to m to bgin with. H had that look in ys-th sam on that I usd to harbor bfor I found you, dar. That look of somon who has that suffcoatd tormnt in his ys whr h knows that hs' only lived a littl bit of a lif- just nough to b abl to xpricn som motions, but not narly nough to actually mak any difference in that dns and dad fling that so many popl hav throughout thor livs.'

"That right?" The was a sickness to th amusmnt of th woman's voic as sh was drawn into th man's hand. Th rst of th cattr from bhind was bginnging to sttl into a mundan talk as thy rst bgan to mtl away to mind thor own. Th slander satisfaction of th women's body was asd into th man's hand as his palm gudiidd hr into th danc of his palm was sh sturttd up to him with th las still trails firmly in hr hand. "Must hav bn why he was attracted to you."

"I think so, too. Th poor idiot-h's sont most of his lif chasing aftr something that h thought h could gt, and I think it all has to do with th pirirts. Sur, h achieved th first parts-the money, the adventure, th success. Mor briefly and bttr than most, vn though for him thrs still a lot of qusitonability in regards to vn him binf abl to manag it,-but god knows that th standards ar low anyhow. H can f that incrasin diapir as h gts oldr, th way on dos whn thy didn'tvn com clos to living a rmkarbal lif-most popl its soulfully, vn for th rich ons. You can gt whatvr you want when it coms to momy for som if you hav th charm or th wit nough, but you can't gt gnarly far nough with th spirits, and it catchs up to you vntually, th complt lack of how your sould nvr rally xpandd and you nvr rally flt or did anything that mad your fl that profound changing grac that urns popl from th insid out in regards to how incredible and havy and truly complex human motion rally is. H had that mptinss in his ys, that dspraton bcuas I think h's at a timin his lif whr h can fl fl th occassionalintrvals of that of which h would hav if you could fl it-that profound humanity and complicity that coms with bing human if only h allowed himself to find it. Problem is is I think h knwos h may b running out of luck-ith that drunk, dprat look on his ys, I agr with him!"

A loud crackle lft th man's lips, his had turnd backward, and th woman's lips rasid up as hr hands flashd upward through hr hair whil sh guidid it through th cropped waves of hr hair. The wa sa slight chcukl that cam from hr nd of things.

Boajck's chubby hand rachd back whil it thradd up agaaint your own, squeezing agssintt h sid of your palm as th wt swat of it gudiid onto your palm. You rspondd with your hand asd into his own palm as it gudid agains this with grac, at last as much as you could manag givn your own tns and nrvousnss, your fingertips settling for asing on his palm as your fingrs mt th brown chubby swat of his hand whil it squid onto yours.

"W can go back to th broom or tll thm to lav." Your lips whisprd against Boajck's back. His ys only lowrd downward at his own intimation of his uncrintty whil his ys turnd down, brath shakn as h did so whil his ars turnd downwar.d. H was too in his own had and into th asy manipulation of what mad up othrs to respond, and so indeed did you allow th profound nobl raspinss of his own voic to as out of his trembling lips as his worried ys turnd downward whil his palms squzzd and found your hand.

"That's ok." The was n innonc to his voic, on of whihc you had flt and noticed through th way h spok vry now and thn; that tndrn gntlnss that cam from an inhrintly good hart. You closed your ys as you land your had forward and prssd it bhind his shoulder, prssing Boack's body further into you as your hand prss on his lovhanls whr th blanket still lid on his plush brany hips.

Th man wipd his nos as h bgan to com down from his alughtr, his short body asing forward whil his own larg illuminious ys lookd up tot h woman as thy wr clar stircn in his own curiosity and content towards hr Bojack lt out another uncertain breath as his y turned to the sid and to th cracked door lading to th mastrbdroom.

"You did that for m, swthart."

His voic was drunk with satificaiton that mad his voci sound lik it cam from an ass and his ton trmbld. Still, as it was for th wrcthd and trembling hart of Bojack and what mad his lif miserable an what gav yours purpos, it still sunk dpp into Bojack's clinflcitd ys as both th mpintss and th pain wrought in his ys ovrcam him.

"Think th dumb guy has got his own pic of ass up thir that h's trying to gt to giv him thos intervals of threading through him vyr now and thn of what h could hav had if his lif handt caught up to him, or his ag, th way that happn with all popl vntually. Th point of lif isnt't to not suff, thats going to happn and things ar going to b taken from you anyway. Th point of lif is to try to lssn and contain it as much as you can-you fail to giv yourself anything or to rach th full xnt of th thos incredible human lvls of motion that you can't rally understand until you wr abl to liv yourslf, and you'll suffr for th mpitnss, vn if its just a stagant and dad fling overtime thats so panful whn you har littl song, a littl thing that rminds you of what you could hav had, andthn th pain wrings ovr you of what you don't hav and at this point in your lfi, you nvr will."

Boajck's had turnd ot th door. His ys turn ddown in his own conflcition as a profound motion ovrcam thm; it was mor than mlchocly as his ars lowrd and his y squintd in xhust. You lips prssd on th back of his shoulder again, ys turnd up to his in your own complling xhust of motion as it mt agisnt h admittedly frozen fuaturs in his own ys that spok th truth that was mbddd in it.

Th man duckd down as his wid and luminous ys asd onto th glass, turning it backward as h did so.

"You can b as smart as you want in this lif, but no on vr unndrstanda th natural progression of souls. And th tragedy for most in lif is that by th tim thy do-it's too lat, and thy know it, an thy fl it, and th thing abotu reality is that th pain is rscud or change from you just bcaus you now rapid in thos sal intervals of what you lost. I'll giv somthing to th misrablr ass, though-h at last sms to hav this ida of this ionic about him that most popl dont hav aftr a certain ag. That look of sofntss in his ys-I don't know if its something to b clbrratd or not, but its something that is rar. H nvrr lost his innonc, that on, or whatvr softnss that mak sup somon that maks thm hard and cold."

Th woman wa sbrought into h man's mbrc, hr body thradd forward as hr hips twsitd into his.

"H sms cold to m."

"Jadd, dgd, pssmtiitc, sur but that thing thy call a manchild-its mor asotunding than somon miht thing in this world whr thrs so littl blif in anything aftr a tim. I'll hand him that-nand what a hous. H mad it half way; it's a sham h's on of countless that could nvr gt byond. Lif is lik a gam of trying to both transcend suffering a smuch as somon is abl whil at th sam tim taking nough risks to captur it. Vn in his pssitmsm of th spiritual part that h faild at giving himslf, its still clar that h managed to b abl to gt th part of himself that got th hous part-that must b whr that xttr light in his ys is whwnvwhn hs spaking th most devoid things you can har." His drunk slur was incrasing as his had turnd down to th cuo in his had, ducking it back as h did so. Th woman smd amus nough in hr own uncar towards th situation as sh twsitd ito his mbrac, pulling hrslf into his hand.

Th woman wa soulld into th man;s mbrac.

"I did that for you?"

"I did it for myself. You wr just th rlas of th nd gam that soldidifd th godddamn thing. S, I got to th point whr I bgan to raliz that no mattr who I was or what I achieved, that humanity was so lost in its own flaws that gaunt our suffering that I bgan to raliz that my own pac was trying to find my own pac with xistnc and what maks up a lif, vn if its dosnt go by th dtandards of th world that surroudns m."

"You'r accomplsid wll nough."

"Accomplishd nough to b abl to ralzi that ccomplsihmnts wouldn't giv m pac; it would b th ida thay only my own prsctiv could giv m pac on what I thought a lfi should b. I turnd myself into that ida of pac and spratd myself from th rst of th cultur around m-and look what happnd. I found yu, th on who could giv m that as into thos pcokts of pronoun humanity that would tas up in my ys vry now and thn. Poor ass is looking for that."

Boajac lt out anothr pathetic whimper as his body asd inot yours hands as h stppd back, ys wid as h saw th silhouette of th man turning his had to th stps, had serving ovr his shoulder as h turnd his had up to th stairs, his ahdn gudidid onto th woman as h allowed herself to follow him with as up the steps.

"Lts sav th man and out him out of his misry." Th drunk lmur man;'s voci was wobbld in his own contmnt of th durkn dtachmt of his voic as his hand asd by th curv of th woman. "Lot of popl ar born just ot h fools for th complciatd motion and philsiopshy of lif, vn whn thy think thy accomplished or ahcivd something at a young ag" H tappd his finger on his glass as his stumbled body mad its way to th stps, woman following from bhind in hr own amsud asd. "Poor man and clich will nvr b nough to b al to satisfy th way this world has rckd him-and good luck to th ass, mayb h'll figur somthing out witht hat poor woman who couldn't havmad hr ownw ay of things to nd up this far. But w'll try and mak it a night fo him."

Hr durkn hand swayd as it asd towards th man's chst whil thy bgan to walk thor way up th stps. Boajck's had swrvd to you, his ys wid as hsi xprssion complld from th wrinkdl worry of his own twisted xprsion; your hand gudid onto his own as you bgan to as him to th opn door.

Th woman laughed. It triald into th air as h mad hr wya up th stps, hr hand swvrd into th air as sh did so whil hr body was asing agsisnt th stout man's body with his ahnd on hr hip; thy wr just visbl now as as Bojack clumsily trippd ovr his ft to th crackd opn door to s th flash of th rd woman's hair, th rd of hr win drssd outfit, th stout man's tuxedo as his ahnd drssd on hr hip as h hlpd hr up th stairs.

"I thought h said hr was coming to hlp you."

Th man raid mouth upward into his own drunk amusmnt.

"Of cours h thinks that. H thinks h's th had of everything h's vr don. But I'm telling you, swthart, h's as delusional for the sake of what h's trying to mak up for as thy com. H wa saskin for hlp-not m. That's th way it is with lost mn lik Bojack-that's th way it'll always for somon lik him."

Bojack's squintd and puffy ys turnd to you, his trembling agaisnt th door as his ys snappd ov rot you, panting trembling as his hand prssd up agaisnt it as h stumbled his way insid. H pantd incrasd as h rushd his way into th mastrbdroom, you following as you rushd your wya insid of th door.

"Hy, ol Bojack, whr you bn? I saw you stumbling into that room. Don't pretend lik you wrn't just stumbling aroun and wrecking and smashing witht hat woman ont h wall, now-you kp that thing to you nic and clos, you undrstadn? Whatvr gam sh's playing you b glad you'r not th only on on th lvvl playing fild!"

herself down up in front of him, still not being able to resist blinking at him in the way that she could only do whenever she was lost under the spell that only he and he alone was capable of giving her.

"Oh-" Bojac's ars lowrd back as his fingertips thradd onto his palm, his ftt stppd backward as uncritnay ovrcam his ys. His ys wr dialtd as h stipend his plush body ovr to th door, turning around as h stppd ovr hs ft and lookd ovr at you with his y squintd as his hands trmbld on th wall. H turnd to th sid of th food as his hands thradd onot th door, his fa prssd on it as th man bgan to clamor agasitn th hallway, his ft tripping ovr th hallway with th women following from bhind as thor voices raid into thir own drukn satidivccation.

"Oh ys, totally. Right you ar." Bojack's voic faltrd as h paus for a moment as th uncrtinty on his xprssion incrasd as h rolld his ys up in timid uncrtinty. "You got th drssing on th soup, man."

Bojack's had a dg of uncritnty to it that gav away to dorky clumsinss, but the was at last som strnght to his conviction dspit th clar nrvousnss that was thrading inot is ton. His own worried ys incrasd as h turnd his had ovr his shouldr and lookd at you with his own uncrtain trmbling ys as h gav a shrug of branwy plush shoulders.

"Chirst." Th man cackldand bllowd, giving away towards and vn furhtr amusmnt that caused Bojack's xprssion to squint as his ars lowrd whil a flar of annoycn drssd his ys. His tth pookd out as you rushd your way bhind him, your hand carssing on his back whil you did so. "I knw it, big guy! Whr th two of you drunk and fracking?"

"W hav a whol party downstairs." Th woman's voic spaking by th man as trailing upward, and Bojack;s own ncasd timid xprssion incrasd as his had turnd and lookd ovr to you. "Littl rud ot b wasting our precious tim trying to wait for you anf all around aftr all the inviting you did, don't you think?"

"Jsus." Bojack's brath swor undr as his had turnd against th door whil ti land on it. H brathd dp, ys rolling upward as his palm kpt on th door as h gav a sigh bfor th timid squint of his ysmt agaisnt hr attempt at a playful and civil response;

"Ys, yah." H poppd his lip as h pt his palm prssd on th door, trembling slightly as h did so as h brathd dp. "Listn, I think w'r still got a lot of frackingto do, if you know what I"m saying? W'r both a littl drunk and smashing achothr and obvioulsy it's all so sxy and amazing, but-" His had turnd a sh lookd at you with his tth pokd out whil his own distant wt ys turnd to you. His ys rolld up again as h lt out a brath bfor turning back to th door. "Just, uh, doing things and catching up and doing all th drunk..coupl things, you know what I'm saying."

"BJ, com on." Th shadow od th mur man and his owman turnd to th door, and Bojack' sys widnd as h stppd back, brath shakn as h stppd back whil yoru hand scuaght him gaisnt his lovhandls. "Don't b lik that. Th ntir point of why you invivitd us ovr hr was to show off your movs, your girl, all th amazing stuff you'v bn abl to bring yourself together with at a rip young ag, huh?"

Annoync glimmrd in Bojack's ys as his yborws turnd downward. His ys closed as his had tilted downward, and your hand carrsd on his shoulder as his ys flcikd back to look at you for a omnt of grounding before continuing.

"Yrah, and can you giv us a littl tim to pull ourslvs taught whil you hav your littl pshpsh goinf out downstairs? W'r not hr to b your conversation ploy standpic for th sak of whatvr you got going on out ther that you think is so interesting or vn furhtmror, worth rubbing in our facs or to gv you som sort of ctnt of mockery to mak us flc omplld to com outsid."

"Chirst." Bojack's already puffy ys that wr naturally insulted turnd to th door as th hard squint on his ys incrasd. His ars lowrd all th wsy downward as his fingrs wr ballad into fists, and your arms found thor way by his shoulder as you carssd his arm. Th wt of his ys turnd downward as a pout ovrcam th xhust of hix xprssion as h tund his ys downward whil th sound sof th hl sof th woman stppd forward, showing off th black sillouwt of hr body as sh stpp forward to th opn door. "It's not wonder you flt th nd to gt drunk and to start hooking up with that othr woman. What's hr nam again?"

"You can lav any spficids out of it, thank you." Th tension on bojack's fac only incrasd as his ys turnd up towards th cracked opn door. Boajck's fingrs nrvoulsy carssd on his wrists, though th jadd frustrated look on his ys didn't lssn as th pot on his fauturs incrasd into that timid wt exhaust. "Sh'll com down in a littl bit, w both will, and w'll s what coms out of it. How dos that sound?"

"Opn th door, BJ." Boajck's ys wind as th man stpp forward and slammd his shoulder onto th door. Boajck's fac scratchd up as th twist on his fauturs incrasd, his ys squintd as h stppd backward whil his fingrs drssd on his palm. "W didn't com all this way to b playd and shpwd up by som idiot who kps changing his mind."

"I'm not changing my mind! I'm just sick and tird of popl coming ovr and thinking I'm thor own personal think pic, whn it should b xtnvisly understood and clar that if you'r invivtd ovr to common's shoes, that you should clalry not b talking about thm whn thy can har you trialingup th goddamn stairs!"

Bojack's voic crackd as his ton rai dup to an awkward furious loudness. It was nough to mak both of th pop, stppd backwards as thy bgan to laugh between on another, thor words asing into an amused smirk between on another as thy drukly took ach othrs hands in thor own amumnt. Bojack's ys quind further as h brathd havily, and your hand rachd up to as knot his shoulder. His brath incrasd as h turnd his ys own whil h conuird to brath his own raspd and hvay brath.

"I think think you would b so touchy about something that you'r known for, Bojack." Th man's voic raisd up into something that was clalry amused in pushing Bojakc's aisly triggered o into a aplaything. Bojack's ys turnd down as his brath asd out inot cxhust and his own ajdd lvl fo angr, and though your hand was rstd on his shoulder, it didn't tak awya th incrasd angr in his disposition as h conuitd to braht heavily.

"And I didn't think that you thought comingin hr and saying and doing whatvr you wanted would giv you lvrga or lavway to stumbl around with your words and say whatyou you want wihout a ration." His lifd up his arms on both sids as his ahnds raid clumsy in th air, his body stumlbing forward as th sht bgant o fall off of his hip. Your hand snappd out to prss onto th fabric as it ad it bakc up onto his hips as much as you wr abl in th mdiist of his stumbling angr. "Do you want to driv bac down thos hills again anf go back to your hom and hav coming ovr hr for nothing? Bcua of th way you'r acting, it sound slik you want a on way ticket to Bojack kicks you out town!"

Bojack's voic had rachd an notabl lvl of panting as his body cliumsy stumbled forward, and your hand trid to catch on his as much as you wr abl whil you trid to pull him back as h stumbled forward with his hand waving. His panting was getting to th point whr it was clar h was xhusting his body, and your ys dimmd as your fingertips rstd on his hips as you ad him back, as feet stumbling ovr thmslvs as th wright of his body flwa agisnt your own. H conuitd to brath deep, th hips of his body gudining onto your hand as h tubld forward iwhtout caus, thins tumbld back into your arms again.

Th lemur man lt out a chuckl as his body walkd furthr tot h door.

"For all th attempts you'r making at not bing a hot hadd jok, you know how to mak yourself look lik you' th last on in control."

"Yrah? Tll that to your goddamn girlfrind that mad your lif sos spcil downstairs lik th gossip dors you ar, asshols!" Though that pissd off hard look still cam into Bojack's ys as his plush body ad into your mbrac, and som of his natural grac cam back that h possd whn h was clamr and at th bst version of himself, h still had that stumbling dorkinss that h possd whn it cam to losing his own tmprt hat turnd him into somhtin far mor dorky and clumsmy in air. You found it just as alluring as any part of him, but in a different way, th sam way you love vry fac of his and vry typ of his disposition and air that mad him who he was. This stumbling, angir, clumsir and lssincontrol part of him was jut as worthy and just as gudining towards you lov as mch as ny mor stout ot mor sharp and put together diginfid drssd air of him vr would b; it was just in a mor protctiv, unconditional and lov towards his tumbling and plush undidginrf flaws, th sam way that any tru lov or lif vr was. H brathd dp as his plush stomatch survd out in front of him as his body ad onto your own hands, your fingertips thradin onto his back as you managed to catch som of his increasing lack of control.

"That's a grat suggestion, BJ. I'm actually glad you gav m th invitation." Th lemur man bgan to rach forward towards th door, and Bojack's ys wind as h gav a slight swar as saw it gradually bing cracked opn, his body asing away from your hands in his panic as h gav anothr uncertain sound of a nois. Th woman laughed as hr body twisted and stumbld against the man as thy bgan to mak thor way inward, hr bobbd rd hair bopping, hr body testing in hr own amsumnt as h body stumbld forward in rd high heels th samr as hr twsitd drss as h followed th wid ys lemur man in his sout form inward through th opn door. Bojack's teeth twisted as his arms prssd onto yours as h asd his body upward, ys squintd as h did so as his ft tu,blf up into a slightly mor trending position, brathing still coming out hvay vn as a mor mbassd form took his body as his hands rach din front of him, lmost coming clos to covring his ys as his rath ncasd out of him as h lowr dhi shad fown into his palms.

"Gt-out." Boajck's ys glard through his hands as th illiminious glint fo th lemur man's ys ad thor wya inward. His ys shind with an amused light as h mad his wya through th door, th woman stumbld by him in hr own poutd amsumd as hr drunk slitd ys gazd bwtn th both of you.

"Lat you hav th women to kee your towl on you." Th lmru's man's eyes wrn't ncsarrily malicious, only curious in that mocking sort of way as Boajck conuitd to pant in that motion dfns as his squintd ys lookd through his fingrs. "Good stat to bing abl to b at last somrhwta digintd towards an vnt you wanted to caus for th night."

"Bcaus I thought you wouldn't b a drangd asshol, dipshit!"

Boajck's voic raisd into a unfifginrf trmor of motional climax, and it greeted into his own insultfd ys and th puffy xhustd bags of th glar in his eyes. our hand rstdc on his back as h glard to th man through his hands, as pathetic and precious and an allur towards everything that md you feel lif a vr.

"Didn't think you had it in you to b an angry manchild-not bfor your cocaine, Bojack." Amusmnt laid on his woman's back, and a trail of hr own laughter asd into th trail of th air as h has twisted backward, hair bobbing in hr happily ladn dtcahd drunknss and the bloatation of hr own as into hr uncaring dtcahmnt that popl lik hr fl into so asily; Bojakc has th similar snitmn thwnvr h laid back and took a drink, but his as towards it and th usual superficial intention that th grit and rot of th worthlessnss of human compassion fll into didnt affect him as much as it did with th popl in front of him with th woman's nck splaying to th sid, hr ys turnd down and hr bobbd hair asing agasint th sid of hr fac and th lemur man's own as into his own maliciounss tatsing into his ys. Th stoic look in Bojack's ys and th wya h was barley affctd by th alcohol had lt you know from th start that h had th kind of profound hart that was abov th majority, so much to th point that Bojack, vn if h only flt it in his subconcious, has th downplay that cam along with having a hart that had bn born mant to lov as spy as h did, and as it was with all good things that cam into human phycoology, the was th downsid of th fact that th inhrint part of him that mad bn mad to hav a hart that flt that dpply byonf itnntion or vn rlxaiaiton of it, it just happened to balanc ut into th natur didgust i fhti s who had vn lss than half of th rich snc of spirit in thor harts th way Bojack did, somhtin that was ithr born into somon or torn away ovr a period of tim in thor liv s whr whatvr mad p a worthwhile human lif in th hart of human xprinc and in vry which way humans affctd ach ohtr in a circl that mad up human lif gratr than most popls undrstandings and vn lss lcikly that anyon would vr vn com clos to having that most natural rarity that cam into somon's lif that cam from that rarity of th availability to lov and to hav something ral and tru and mbdd through thi rlivs that nithr lssnd or chapnd-th most rar pratciitc in any givn human bing, and though patroinzd by thos vry popl that lackd it, thy flt thor usffring from thor lck of bing abl to b asd into it with a strain that ovrcam and mptis thor own livs ovr tim until the wasn't much lss but mpty suffering. Th alchol didn't tak away in th havinss of Bojack th way that it did for th two popl swaying in front of thm now, with thor asd bodis and thor swyaing joks and suprfiicalwords coming out of thor, ina way, lucky for bng as dpvd from what mad up th affect of on thing to another that affctd vry dtail of thos aorund thm that thy wr too dnfs to s th long trm suffring of, much lss to b affctd or to s thr tru wrought natur of it. You had rcongd that twisted and hidn jadd capr in his disposition an in hsi wrtchd jadd air that not vn h had wantd, as no on vr did, but it had ntrd his ys and gnral air as a form of an unwanted fisgsutd dfns agaisnt that of which surrounded him that failed to mt his own spsorutal standards that his born tndr hart and th surrounding conflictions around him of thos who withr lost or failed to hav thor humanity kpt with thm was ripped away ovr tim that h had kpt with him, through as it was in th word that h was born into, the was only punsihmtn for vlgining onot that of which was naturally tndr and good, and, in a mor abrasiv fashion, that of which ld to th worldwide chapnss of human suffering, and it all cam back to that dry and tird, still drunk, but unaffctd dpth that mad Bojack that vitctimof that rar profound catch onto it as h collctd himself from his panting breathing.

"Cat got your tongue, BJ?" Th lemur stppd forward, his wid ys squinting with a glimmer of his own uffd ys that was bcoming drnchd in th rd of his own illinois glintdys whil his lips scouted across his fac. "W can tak you downstairs and try to gt it fixd for you, if you want-thrs going to b plnty of cat woman with their lgs strung up down the latr on in th night with thir thighs turnd up in a abit, I bt. Could giv ya both a brak

Bojack's ys starghtd up, though h was still settling for brathing havy as his hands prssd onto his kns whil h kpt land donwwad, slightly vn as h raisd himself up to collect his own shattered angr.

"Did you ssrioulsyc om up hr just to start playing back and forth chanting with your girlfriend?"

Th lemur's glintd in sudden surpris, and a laugh scpad his lips as h wistd his gry had to th sid of th tiwstd figur of th woman as hr own lips rasid upward into hr own amsumnt, rd spolttd lips rsting on hr mouth as hr ys tasd down ovr to th lamur. Th glass fl out of hr drunk hand, claning onto th ground, and sh lt out hr own cackld amusement as th hat in hr ys turn down to th glass, th rst of th spilled ovr win pouring out and onto th carpet. Bojack's ys twitch as his ys turn down asn and onto thw win on th ground. Boajck's ars lowrd back as his ys splayd onto th ground with dgust.

"You mind not stumbling around with that win drink in your hand?"

Hr potd lip rasid up, and th smug dfindc on th dg of hr ys didn't lav a shr body tiwstd forward with an xtnt of th a mcokry in hr ys.

"I'm sorry, dos a drunk gt to tll a drunk what to do with thir win?"

" At lats pour it on som boobs first bfor you start spilling and throwing shit on th ground."

"Look at you." Th lmur man stumbled forward with his hand rasid onto his girlfrind's arm, and sh stumbled forward whil a dp laughter lft hr voic as sh stumbled forward along with him. "This is my wif."

Boajck's ars splayd out as his ys guided up to look at hr stumbling twsitd form. "What?"

"Sh's my wif to b. I don't know how much you har whil you prtndd to b fucking your own pc up hr-"

"Ok." Bojack's ys closd a shis hand rasid up, ars lowrd as th muscle on his fac squid into dfianc. "Asy on th lanaug. Just bcuas w'r drunk dosn't man w hav to b going back and forth trying to figur out who can b th most annoying spokn idiot thats stumbling and swaying around this plac." H wave his hand lazily in front of him with his hand ccarssing th air sloppily, though th as of which h had with how h did it showd off just how sharp h was, vn now. "You think this..sid pic of a woman, vry colorful, rd, cut, cool-is going to marry you ina fw months."

"Yar, giv or tak." Th woman rasi dhr eyebrows drunkenly as th spolltd but of hr spoild rd lip rasid on hr fac. "It's all ral."

Bojack's ys turnd up into a roll, though thy wr mor of dspration to pirc together th disconnect in his own disnchanmnt of drunk xust than it was on jdgmnt. Your hand kpt on his back to kp him by you and from falling, though h still stumbld back on his ft in that tndr adorable way as his bdy was caught onto your palm.

"I know its ral." H chcukld as a certain confident mocking ovrcam his ys whil his ylids lowrd ovr to thm. "Mayb you think it isn't. I'm just trying to figur out why th hll th both of you cam up hr in th middl of my hous party nd thougt you couldc om up and start stumbling ovr your wods and telling us what to do, and thn also thinking som word lctur about your stautus is relevant or warranted. And if you think my asotudning surprise and question following it is a suprirs, thn you nd to hav your had further put inot raliy than whnvr it cam from to mak his woman dlusioanl nough into thinking sh should b with-"his hand wave in front of him, dry sarcastic ys threading ovr th man with a clumsily wave hand. "This."

Th lemur man's ys snappd intoa twisted glint as his body asd onto th sid of th woman further whl h stumbled back, though admittedly, the was a light of clarity in his ys that smd to speak that h hdl a gnuin spiritual truth in his ys from th snitmnt of what h spok.

"Sh cam to m ahwil ago. I don't know if you happnd to hav your think pic-"

Bojack's ys lifted into a brow as h gazd at th man ina guis of disgust. "Mayb that's how you s this women you'r draping on hr shoudlrs, sur. But don't bing your trashy labels and your want of thinking you found something amazing stop you fro actually sing this for what it is, whichis vry clalry a bragging sid pic to takt to th paririts you want-"

Th lemur man brathd in deep, body rasid up as h did so to rst as much as h wa sabl to dstpit th trembling of th womans bodis and his own.

"Bojack-"

"So that you can hav something to kpp along with you at your paritis to mak it look lik you successfully compnstatd for something whil you go out and smok mth, which is th vry plac I found you stumbling on your ass to bgin with, probbaly baus you'r not happy and this isn't what you wish that you want m to bliv it was."

"Christ." Th woman bsdis th lemur man shucks, and his wid ys turnd up to hr as h hr own into hr humor asd into hr own as sh turnd hr ys ovr to th lmr man. "This guy is a hot sack."

"W nd tim to pull ourslvs together buffer w go downstairs." Yoru voic cam out mor drunk and trmbling than you would hav wantd. Th woman's own splayd narrow ys turn dot you in hr own mocking question as to why you spok. Boajck's hadswrvd ovr to you as a worry glintd into his soft ys, turning down to you whil his prtic of jadd dfns lft for a moment.

"Don't fd into this bullshit, hony, thy' just playing a chap gam calld wanting to b pratizitning towards th popl that gav thissorry has bn ass a rason to fl supior to bgin with whn h vry clalry has nothing in th first plac othr than what hs pulling som poor girl into ti with." His ys prssd into a furhtr squint as his abbd his xprssion further to thm both. "Which I don't particularly think is vn bing half as wll cutd as much as thor durkn googoo xprssion would lik to mak thm bluv."

"Hony! Gam!" Th lemur man's laughter asd up, and th woman bsid him allowd hr own to squint as hr ys thradd ovr to him with hr lips rasid p in hr own amsumnt, though it sm hr add suprficiality only lss than hald understood th jok, only th lvrag of th man's mocking that it gv hr in th situation. "Look at you, with your path that you'v gon down on."

Bojack's ys flard in disgust as h watch th man with a squint. "I'm not going down on you." His hand rasid up as h indicatd his ahdn towards th door. "I would lik you to mak your way out th door instad of trying to impress m with something that isn't my business, nor do I want it to b my business."

"W'r on th sam ath, Bojack. You wound't hv com p m that day if it wrnt for th fact that th woman you'r using a syour own rlif wasn't for th sam rason that my soon to b wif ntr dmy lfi at a tim lik this."

Boajck's had asd back, and th dfinc of caution didn't lav his ys, nor th suprfifical xapsion and his lack of tolerance for xcss motional xcss of anything that was uncssry or ld to nothin paricualry special at all. "What?"

"You tak your stimulants, you hav a happier lfi and fl good. W both fl good, Bojack, that's th ntir point of his aftr it all, anyywa. It dosn't mattr what th labl is of something of what was or what wasn't-its a mattr of bing happy and finding what w did. I don't know if you discord th sam thing that I did in th sam way I found it, and I mant what I said downstairs about that ptinss in your y and th dspraiton fo what is catching up to you."

Bojack brathd in dp, though, as it usually was with his own promimnt of his uncrtain yss, the as also that sam amount of dangr and uncrntity in his timidn sscn that could bcom trouble so asily. Still, jadd natur was th majaorty of his caus as sh ys squintd whil h turnd and lookd up at th man with his ys in a dfns. "I'm don't know what you think you're talking about, but sh's somon I'm just sing. Sam thing as anyon or anything ls-nothing that anyon nds to start analzying or getting thmslvs wrappd up in with whatvr aftr affect of mthad that you hav going on." His ys turnd ovr ot you, ys dimmd in his ow discomfort as h gav an uncertain whimper of a brath whil h turnd own to look at you, as if looking to you for comfort, or to chck that h wasnting ntring alabl you didn't agr with. Your hanf rachd across his back as you lips prss don his shoulder, and th insecurity didn't lav his ys, though th troubl in hsi xprssion that cam across from his biwldrd insult was still in his ys. His ys turnd back up to th man, ys thread din his own jadd capur. "You nd to lav." His hand place on th front of his snout, ys closed as his had turnd down nto his fingertips. His voic rachd a nw sound of rlfctiv mhcolcy and dfat as h turnd his had dornward. W'll com down in a minute-you can tas m, or say what ryou want. But let us finish."

Th lemur man's ys turn down. H turnd his had ovr to his mistrss, and hr own cruvd angle fac turnd as sh lookd ov rat him with th qustion in hr ys, pulld otgthr just night from hr drukn disposition to look ovr at th man agreeably. His had turnd down as h rachd down and pattd his hand on hr back, mumbinr got hr smthing gntly as h ad his ahdn otno hr back. Hr ys turnd dowwars and sh gav a nod, as if lsitning to a mssag spokn that happnd to b on of thos thinsg that wa sonly undrsood through th intimate that xistd between two popl that knw on anothr. Hr had anld up as sh bgan to walk hr wya across th bdroom and ovr to th door, hr slander hand carssinf against it,s umoing slightly i hr unbaalncd hls as it rkas hr own slf awar laugh of hr own stubling druknss. Th lemur mans illiinious ys turnd a sh watchd hr lav, hr body hav bnt down as sh gav a laugh as sh bgan to stumbl outsid th crackd opn door and thn sutmbld out inot th hallway. Boajck's xapsraiton and xhut only ad furhtr fornward as h lemur man turnd his way ovr to him. HIs had turnd a sh asd his had and titld it ovr to you, gviign you a sharp nod. Bojacks ys snappd ovr tot you as his had tilted ovr to your shoulders, and whn h pircd together that your hands wr starting to tall away from asing on Bojack's back as your own hand ghosted away from his body, his ys glintd in dfianc as his ys snappd back ovr to th lemur man. You idn't want to listn to th odd command that ws in th lemur's man's ys, but you flt your hand sing away from Bojack's back if only to cu away from th tension that was raching into th xtnt of th ir.

"Hy, you don't gt to strt telling my partner whr to go, big ys."

Th lemur man lt out a laugh as his had turnd back, drunkly swaying as his body asd to th sid that gav aay somon who's body and mind was only half in control.

"Partnr, girlfriend-it's funny how much w atturtbuit to thos that surround us for th sa of inding pac for what r it is w'r trying to sav oursvs from. But ther's a ood chanc that w got it ight this tim, and I think you knw it as much as I did whn you walks up to m in that marktpalc a fw days ao."

"Yah, I did." Bojack's hand rachd out as it as donto your hand, prssing you back into th intimacy agsint his own palm as h gudid you back into his intimaicty with this hand rstd on your palm, his fingertips asing onto your palm as h did so whil his fingrs squzzd oto yours. It was a gntl action of brining you back into him, and on with his gudinc of his hanf on yours as h did so. "I did it bcuas you wr bign a wrid mth ha din th middl of th asils, and I thought-wll, I may as wll at last try to mak something outsid of yt another puubliv ass that stumbs around and maks a public laugh of people like us, or vn jsut to amk you at last tn percent lss annoying with how much you wr stumbling around an vry clalry outside of contorl of your body lik a tru ailss addict who's mor than likely not in a happy relationship that h wants to think is worth vyrhting aftr only a few months of knowing th damn girl."

Th lmur's ys turnd to you, and you wr surirsd at how taken aback you wr at th sudn onsight of challnging motion in his ys, and it caused your hand to slip out of Bojack's own chubby and gnlt insitnc of his hanf onto yours whil h pulled you in, or atptd to. It was th most precious as anf th most romantic and asy going sensation, bing brought into th mrbac of his hand whil you wr pulled in through th grasp of his palm pulling you inward-h had th licat blanc of bing inssitnt whil at th sam tim bing tndr anf wrought with doubt that mad it a fulfilling xprinc to b brought into his mbrc, wrought with dubt but making it all th mor precious for you to b ld itno both that odd intimation fo what mad him who h was whil at th sam tim bing th hlpr for it.

"You mind going out? You two woman cold talk for a bit. Mayb talk with on another about what it fls lik to b th last accompanying pic to two popl who hav finally figud it out."

"W." Bojack's ys splayd back as his xprsion wincd, his xprssion turnd back as disgust ovrcam his ys. Your hand htradd away from his ntirly, thought hbakc of your hand kpt lowrd on his, hidden from th viw of th man. "Why ar yout walking about hr lik that lik a clost shutin frak?" His ys squintd upward as h laughd cockily. "You'v bn abl to gt nough throughout your lif to know mor than to b a shut in." His ys lowrd into his own xapsraiton of sarcasm. "Right?"

"I'll go." Your body asd away from Bojack. His had tund as h lookd at you with his own far in his ys as his had twisted and lookd ovr to you.

"Ar you sur?" His fingertips found thor usual plac by his chubby wrists as h rubbed thm. "You don't hav to listn to anything this asshol says."

"I think sh;s hr for th sam raossn anyon ls is. For th sam raisin you cam hr to bgwin with in th first plac."

Bojack's dry ys turnd ovr to th man. "What th hll is that supposed ot man?"

Your had turnd down as your ghosts away ntirly from wh thy had bn rstd on his back, your had lowrd downward as you bgan to walk briskly away from Bojack's body. His ys wr hollowd as h watchd th way your had was lowrd downward as you mad your wa ov to th mssy shts of th previously occuipid bd, asing your hand sonto th blankets as you did so as your hand gripped on th shts and pulled it ovr to your body.

"Hony-plas don't." Bojack voic was trembling in that oddly sospiciatd way that h hld dspit its trembling timindss, and that in and of itself was almost nough to pull you back ovr from th sudden xtnsion of that odd hollowing fling that ovrcam you, cpially sinc th man had taken to looking you in th ys in that oddly sickly chalning way. You ma your way towards Bojack, his hollowd as h lookd at you in his own timidn uncritnity-you only took to laning forward and pressing your lips on his chk, causing Bojack's ys to turnd downwar as th worry ovrcam his ys as h rlaizd that th uncertain prsccn of th lemur man had won.

Your bgan to alkd your way forward, but Bojack's hand rahd out as it gripped onto your wrist; your ys turnd a syou lookd ovr at Bojack in question a syou took in th trembling dspraton of his ys. His grisp was too tight, th sam way it always was, and you mt and flt it with an understanding as you flt his grasp as onto your hand. Th ook and begging o his ywould hav bn nough for you to stay back, and it killd you th sam way anything did thrw you with his wt trmbing, impossible tnd ralluringhandosm sad ys you would hav don anything for that was drssd up a sworty of contmpt for anyon ls. Your had snappd ovr to th lemur man, and you brath shook as you turnd your xprssion back ovr to Bojack as you stppd forward to him nough so that h could hav that sam conversation of gntl quit between th both of you, at last for th tim bing, though th uncomfortbility didn't lavr as Bojakc; syd trmbld as h turn dhis ys down to your hand.

"You don't hav to listn to this guy." The was an dg of dfns to Bojack's voci a sh spok, and you lowrd you y as you gav a nod.

"I know."

Boajck's ys flickdrd in far as his pills dialtd. "If its going to b lik this all night, I can try to chnag things for th night. I can ask this guy to lav. Just don't lt yourself b wrecked around by this asshol. Spically so arly in th night."

You trid to pull away, not in any sigfignt way, but just nough for Bojack's ys to wind as h pulled you back in. Your body was prssd back to him as you lookd ovrt tt him in question. His ys holllowd a shis prison tund downward a shis brah shook. Your hanf rachd out to prss on his ch to bring himt back to you, and somehow hat in and of itself flt li crim in front of th hollywood lemur man's ys that was thrandin something of a scrt as h lookd between th both of you. Bojack;s hollowd turnd back to th an, with that trembling grac of far that ovrcam him so asily that was connctd to his own incessant childik softnss as h turnd his had back to th man in front og him.

"If you want to gt rid of this man, without m putting you in dang for whatvr rason, I think you need to listn to him."

Boacjk's brath shook as his ys turnd back ovrto you, a slight lowring on his y sand his brath shook whil h turnd back to you, th ditant far on his ys sming to rach vn further into his uncritnity, though mor thana anything, the was only that prciosunss in his xprsison that had caused you to b so dply mbddd into his air to bgin with, thought it didn't kill or tug at you any lss to s that conflict in his xprssion as his ys turnd down and asd onto your wrist.

"You'r not going to lt asshols lik this win all night, ar you?" His had turnd up as his own tird ys thread upt o you xprssion. "I'll talk to him now, but only to gt him out of our ass." His voic was lowrd and sombr as his ys turn down whil his han grapsd onto your wrist. "Promis m wyou'll b out ther whn I' don with him." h shook his had, ys closed into a distanc of xhust that propelled further on his xprsion. "God, I knw freaks out find m tbfor th night vn startd.

"I'm not laving you alon for th sak of it." Your hand asd onto his chubby wrists, imposisbl naturally intimat and making you fl all compounding profound xtnds of your intimaitya ss it thradd and carssd his hand. His tth pond out as his ys turnd up and lookd up at you in question.

"No? Bcuas that's what this fls lik."

"Giv hima chanc." You indicatd your had outsid to th cracked opn door. "That poor woman is alrayd bing thrown out anyway. I should go find hr and try to calm hr down, mak sur w don't hav somon fainting on our hands bfor w can vn start th night."

"Yah. Poor. Must hav something to do with th fact that sh looks at m with thos smug stupif ys and thn stumbling out with hr ass crackd up whil sh maks hr way out to th opn door."

You dqud your ahdn against his chubby wrist, and vn that was nough to transfer that flingof that painful compact profound nostgtila of meaning and th inhrint meaning of humanity that was at its cor sscnc of inmaicty as your fingrs threadd on his wrists, fling th trandr o that natural compact, almost lif ndign proounf fling that as transfrrd between th both of you as your hand squzd th plush of his wrist, th motion something that was stongr and mor meaningful than pain; it was that compact fling that cam aross with such prfoudn good and meaning that it transcndd th ability to b abl to handl how rich and tru it was; through loving Bojack, you had com to th bittrst rlvantion about human xistnc that the was something inhrintly profoundly too strong about ithr prooufn loss or gain in xistnc as your hands asd onto his wrist.

"I'll b right outsid." Boajc;s lips trmbld, adn his far ad into his whit ys that bulge with xhust as th bagg wrinkles htradd undr his ys. Your hand rachd out of his as you bgant o rush your way outsid, moving past his bod as your had duckd and you ma your way out to th door. You hard th whimper that lft Bojack's lips that wa tndr nough that it caused you to paus in your own paralziation as you mad your way out th door, ducking your body through th opn door as you mad your way outsid, You closed your ys as you flt that drad that had passd through you bing prciv dby th man as ruhd your wya ousid, your back thradd onto th door as you closed it. Your hands trmbld as you flt your skin adi with a film of swat, but at last you had managd to scap from th y sof th lemur that had had a profound thrat of a sickly humanity in his larg luminous ys as you mad your way out ito th hallway. You hard a raspd chuckl from from th woman tht stood in front of you as your ys opnd again-your xprssion turnd upard as you saw how sh was asd forward against th front of th wall, hr body land forward whil hr had turnd ovr hr shoulder, hr boy pumpd out intoa hald drunk crawl as sh turnd hr drukn ysovrot you.

"Need help?"

Your hand asd off of th door as you walks to hr. There was no response from the woman; she was panting heavily while her body was forced agaisnt the wall, hand grasped on the white of he neon reflected wall. Sh ccukld as sh trid ot asr h rpal body off tof th wall, to littl or not avail. Th inly thing tha prvntd hr from getting hrlf up was your hand that suddenly asd onto th bottom of hr torso, stopping hr from th sudden onslaught of hr painting as sh stumbled into th mrbac of hr hand. You turned your head over your shoulder as you shut the door. The woman with the red bobbed hair was still meaning forward, bdy bent forward as her breath ease out of her senses while she leaned down with her body still curved forward, one pale hand rested on the wall. You made your way over to her, your fingertip reaching down into your pocket as you grazed your fingertips against a forgotten cigarette against your pocket and threaded it between the spaces of your fingertips. You made your way over to her, kneeling down in front of her labored breathing as she ketp herself firmly leaned forward, her slender body raised against the wall. Her sharp eyes flashedd over to you, heated as they landed on the cigarette that was gently laced in your fingertips as you eased it over to her in introduction.

She cringed away, her eyes flashing over to the cigarette that was being offered. Her eyes, full of a hard insult, turned up to you as her har eyes flashed to you in question. "You're fucking serious?"

"I think it'll help. You can smoke it another time if you'd like. But keep it for now for later, in case you change your mind."

The woman's breathing didn't lesson, nor did that look of insult in her eyes as the panting of her dry breath and the tension on her face eased down to the guidance of the cigarette that was handed to her. The muscles on her face flashed as they tensed up with a flash of consideration as her eyes turned up to the suggeste cigarette. It felt l;ike a flimsy attempt, but you were trmebing yourself; not for the physical aspect of what was surrounding the atmosphere, but for the geeral scope of a foreboding that was inhereintlly present in the neon laden and stagnant lit light of the house that had bene further triggered by the lemur man's presence and the stoic way he had stood upright with that light of caution in his eyes that had been the first and only reason why you had kept Bojack behind with him facing that foreboreing you felt you needed to allow him to face, if not just for the strange feeling of a spiritual cracking that overcame you that trancdned understanding, only dread, into what should have otherwise been an easy going and fairly uneven night outside of the narrative of insecure ecxhust that troeubeld a man as easily weak as Bojack's, and as many were.

The line of the woman;'s apple red spolted mouth began to raise up into a slight quirk, her eyes guided into a sudden clairty as much as she was able to within her insecure trembling otherwise and the physical degrading that came along with drinking too much. Her shaking hand flashedd out as she took the cigarette that was preseted between you fingertip,s easing her body upward as she straighted her body against the wall as much as she was able, though the sickly shaking in her body didn't lesson, and the pale of her skin didn't ease as she pressed the cigarette betweenher slender fingertips as jammed it inot her already messy lipstick mouth.

"Thanks."

She spoke through the cigarette, the words spilling out her her lips as he spoke clumsy over them with choked words. Her voice was jaded and blunt, and clearly shaken, though the stoic nature of her voice gave away how quickly she had a foundation to her, especially complimented by the even stoic nature of her tone.

You said nothing; there was an odd embarrassment that came along with being perceived as being intimate with Bojack, emotional and with the odd extent of the physical one. Your body turned as you eased your body onto the wall, your arms crossed as you tried to recenter yourself, the same way every pattern of life every made you do on every given day. The woman's narrow eyes flashed as she looked over to you, sticking her slender fingertips against the unlit cigarette, anf alreadsy her trembling was beginning to fall away as she stick it out, using it as the grounding techcine she needed. Her body turned abruptly over to the side of the wall as she leaned her body against the wall, neon light mixing in with the yellowstagance and the small talk of the luckily oblivious people that were trailing downstairs guidning up and mixing in with an odd bittersweetness to the general guise of defeat that was surrounding the both of you.

"You worried about the guy, huh?" The woman trialed the cigarette between the spaces of her hand, the sharp jaw of her face turning to you, trailed and perfecllty complemented by the bob of her red hair. A huge gap in her nothing stuck out as her shapr eyes snapped over to you.

You shook your head, your hand resting under your chin. You could see the way the woman settled for looking at you from the corner of your eyes, and caught the smirk of her lip as her head rasiedd up as she shook it slightly.

"It's ok. You're as pathetic as much as anyone is. Needing and wanting o love, emotional intimacy, not knowing how to get it, falling prey to whatever trash junk you can get yourself into." A deep toend laugh left her lip. "I've met you. I've been you. Maybe that's why I hate seeing it, the same way anyone deoes. There's something extremely pathetic about the human condition, isn't there?"

There was a edge to her jaded voice, one that as deep and full of an ass type nature that spoke that she was either too drunk, stoned, or trying to overcome her own exhaust that came along with physical intimacy, but it came across as a soul deep weariness that was present in her voice-one that suggested a certain king of weariness that one went to after a certain age were a part of them, in the ways that counted, had already met the other wall of death in regards to its unwitting and inability of response to life or any zest they could have.

You didn't know, or want, to respon, and it wasn't as if the woman was giving you the slightest comfortable emotional leverage to have the welcome to do it regardless. You only kept your lips pressed together, eyes trailing up to the creaked open door as you heard Bojack's own raspy voice speak, low and guided into that digifned and naturally intelligent and grateful way that he carried, though your hands were trembling against your arms, heat washing over your face that was akin to shame.

"You're embarrassed." A laugh left the woman's lips. Your head snapped over as you looked over at her lazily and detrough head leaned against the wall.

"If I came along and responded to you and your husband the same way, you wouldn't be thrilled to open up, would you?'

The woman let out another amused, deep throated chuckle, eyes rolled as her head turned to the side while it leaned on the wall, body swaying in a sickly fashion that spoke just how unwell both in heart and mind she was.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. I'll forget you as easily as anything" A chcukle, one that sounded inherently sad and mocking all at once as a smirk graze and tugged the tip of her lip. " I wouldn't want to know what you talk about for anything."

There was a level of disgust and repulse to the words, and you could recognize just how esilly that came along with the pattern that made up human nature of people naturally loathing that of which made anyone alive, in the ironic way as it was for human nature that seemed wired to be as against its own existence down to its core. You sighed, your eyes closed, your head tilting forward as your head eased downward. She lazily turned her heads towards you again, her head titled in a that lazy sickly fashion tht showed not only complacency, but her own despondency to her own clear wrecked nature.

"And what about you?"

Your head turned up to meet the woman's own foggy, drug laden eyes as your expression turned up to meet her own. The bittersweetnes of the neon light hit her face as her mouth was twisted into a loop of a lazy indifference while her pale neck kept snapped on her shoulders lazily. She chuckled, messily, enough for you to deep a stab at just how much she had given up on hereself.

"You must have a reason for being here, letting him get you drunk, drag you around."

The woman laughed, the laughter almost too sudden. Her head raised against the wall, her teeth grazed down onto her lip as she lifted up her own thin eyebrows into a mocking and jaded fashion. Her lip turned up, eyes filtered into na head stoic and a sick sense of humor that could only come from being jaded.

"I came a long way to be this fucked. To be this drunk and sued and-" Her head leaned forward, the mocking on her face not lessening as she eased her body further to you with that mocking still laid on her face. "-taken advantage of, as you put it." She chuckled as you saw your body ease back on instinct, and a mocking power came into her eyes as she eased it back on the wall. "You show a lot from how you talk how much you think is bad and what isn't." Her lip jutted out. "This is a good day for me, all things considered. When this party is done he takes me back to his house, I lean my body on his and he puts me or fucks me to sleep." Hey eyebrows trailed up in that jaded sharp way but ulaitley with a sense of mocking celebration, and her teeth pressed onto her lip as she turned her head down to the cigarette she was pulling and serving with her hands, a bittersweet reflection on her face as her lips raised up. "When you come from where I come from you get the idea that there's no promise of anything in life; that what people carry around of thinking there's some pathetic guaranteed happy anything or even anything decent to happen to anyone is true. When you get to be where I come from, you start to realize that life is going to give you profound suffering unless you find a way to escape and get out of there-and maybe not even then. I had to fight a long way so I could get here and have someone tell me how terrible my life is." Her head turned up, a bittersweetness in the reflection of her eyes that was met by the raise of her lip as her head eased against the wall. "It's a lonely buisness, seeing exsitence for hat it actually is and having to fight for the rules for it; but once you get there, you realize that at least you did what you could, and the peace that comes from that-at least it gives you the space to have adventures and be mindless guitlessly, knowing that you did everything you could with what you had. After the black realiztion and the fight and the exhust you start to realize you;ve done everything you can; and after that there's only humor and freedom, and-" Her shoulders rolled, easing into an exhaust as her body adjusted while her lip poured down into a slight frown. "Suffering, yes. But it isn't as nearly bad being along as much as people want to think-or suffering. It's only through that that you can dusocver who you were or whatever it was that you were-if ever anything. But you won't know that until something forced you to." Her eyes glazed for a moment, and there was something almost disatnct and profound in her eyes that gave away the extension of the complexity of human nature and existence as it was that you knew you were always learning. The distance of her eyes were as scattered as a glaz over with clouds of what seemed like a transcending exhaust as her eeys turned up to the compelling distance in her eyes, and with another jaded grunt did the words find their rest into the stance of her air.

You paused as you allowed her words to find their proper place in their jaded stagance. You yourself felt like you were on the edge of something that was that chaos that could come along in a mind as it occupied your headspace, your teeth easing onto your lips as you felt the full compelcity of the emptines of Bojack and the feeling he gave you. Even just having the demanding of the bulldozer fire that the lemur man had consisted of, you could feel the contrast of the empotiness of its prescence, and it was enough to make you realize what it meant ti have a life without someone you loved as deeply as he was in all of his detail right in front of you, just as he ws, incapable of genuine emulation other than his own wonky, exhausted and tired puffy eyed playfulness that met his air.

"Where did you come from?"

You said it not out of genuine curiosity, but rather of only trying to regorund yourself to the mundnaity that came along with phsyical conversation. You felt that edge to fight yourself but into the bedroom, if only to ease your own selfish desperation and that edge that came along of being a human that was pulled down by their own naturally weak want for company, and the black that followed after it. The words hung in the air as you spoke them, and the smallness you had in contrast to the increasingly louder noises downstairs adding to the heaviness of them. You tried to do the exercise that Bojack had shown you, not in his own intention, but more out of his natural way that his presence had shown you that his presence was about regrounding yourself into the prescence of being fully alive in his senses and of the inherit presence you had for the both of you, the way he forced you to look at the overall scope of a life and to isnteasd find the inherent innocence and natural nature that came along with being full in his presence and in the full present of anothe rperson in general, a trying but worthwhile practice.

Her body readjusted against the wall, breathing in deep as her body eased against it with her arms guided onto her chest as her neck leaned against to the sick in that sickly manner.

"Wanted away."

"Away from what?"

The woman;s head turned up. Her lip jutted out, and for a moment it seemed like there was a settling of her needing to cry as the reflection of melancholy grazed into her eyes while her bottom lip jutted up. She didn't respond for a long moment, and there was only the sens eof the silence that flowed between the both of you as the silence ensued through the hallway. She turned her had downard, snapping her heel onto the top of her foot, and then eased her body away from the wall. You watched as she offered with a neon light, bittersweet raised lip as her head turned over her shoulder and offered you a detached flair of her eyes.

"Good luck. It was nice being each other's think pieces for a little while for the night. I'll see you downstairs."

Her heel tripped, and she swore as her body abruptly lost its balance while her hands raised out to lean onto the walls. You snapped your body forward, reaching out your hand as it eased onto her wrist. Her body trembled as she tried to ease herself upward a s an abrupt swear left her lips. Her teeth strained as she tried to ease herself back up again, eyes rolling up as her body trembling with lack of ease while her feet struggled to ease herself upward.

"Shit."

Her head snapped over to the slightly cracked open door that led to the lemur man's bedroom, her eyes glinted in fear as she struggle to regain her balance. Her head snapped back to her awkward heels that was james into her feet as she eased head back downward and tried to ease herself uo. Her head snapped over when she felt your hand grasped onto her wrist and she abruplty snapped her west back, stumbling back onto the wall as her body slammed onto it. Her eeys widend and the sudden glint of the neon light that had been taken as relfection began to flare into something far more polluted, her face tempailry taking on the guise of panic asshe ripped herself aay from your grasp entirely, body stumbling as she managed to ease herself back itnoa barely standing position.

"I'm sorry-" Your hand reached out to try and take her own wrist, but she snapped her body away from you, her arms easing in front of her chest as the fear didn't leave her expresion and her eyes that were spoiled with the sudden onslouht of neon ligh that was in her eys, not unlike the sensation of clouds spoiling ino her eyes as her panicked expression attempted to pull herself together.

"Don't." Her movements were sharp as you reached out a hand to attempt to ease onto her, but her body only snapped away as the other one was splayed onto the wall, her head abruptly shaking as the frozen fear of her eyes and distant panic on her face didn't lesson as the fear on her frozen face didn't leave her onslaught of a sudden look of both surrerlaity and defense. Her head shook, and there was enough defense on her feautures that it caused you to step back, your eyes flicked over to her as you gazed at her in question.

Her eyees snapped down, though they could barely be considered eyes anymore with the amount of polluted neon blue that was in them. Your arms found their rest by your chest again as you stepped back and looked at her in question; her eyes flicked down, clearly at the onslaught her emotional suffering that only inwuired your curioirty furhter, though her entire body seemed to take a sickly defense as her wirst rasied onto her lip.

"Excuse me." You stepped back as she eased her body off of the wall, her body now fully going into a jaded defense as her head turned down, arms pressed firmly onto her elbows as she eased her body off of the wall. Her head titled down as she got herself off of the wall, her easing down as she rushed her way down the hallway. There was an ominous sound of her heels echoing agsidnt the floor as she rushed her way down the stairs, head tilted downward and her body rushing her way over to the stairs. Your watched as her body quickly rushed her way down the stairs, heels hititng against the stairs, and the sound of the people's chatter coming from the main room was the only thing to cut through the ominous question otherwise as you heard their greetings spilling back out and over to her, mixed in with her own sudden onslaught of a self welcoming air that was the opposite of the closed off and genuine fear that had taken her eeys a moment ago.

You lip tensed, and your body feel further into itself, as if essing into a sense of profound shame for a moment. Your head turned back over tot he cracked open door that led to the master bedroom, distance in your eyes as you fel that fear coming over you again as you were elft with the empty space that made up the hallway.

"There you are, my superstar! About time you and the big eyes got back from trying to jerk that loser off upstairs. What is he, already getting caught up in whoever can bother to find him and jerking them off with his own obnxious persoanlity?"

"He'll be down." Her voice was shaken, but there was a large laughter that suddenly ripped out from her lips that suggested that someone had done something to make her ease into the relief that was humor. "Yes, my thoughts exactly!"

Her hands clapped, and the sounds of the rest of the commotion that was coming from downstairs began to ease into the sounds of he clanging of more glasses and the sounds of more wine bottles being open. The lady's laughter ripped open again, only in that powerful way that came from someone who was trying to ease themselves away from whatever it was they had come o face with a second ago that had rendered them uncomfortable. Your head snapped over you shoulder as you looked back over at the open door. Your head turned downward as you laughed to yourself; that shaky bitter laugh that you only breathed for the sake of trying to ease away some of the incessant bewildering sense of dread haunting you.

Your head turned to the party. You could remember the look of fear on Bojack's deep and spiritual profound almond black eyes that held that trmebling sense of spiritual gentlessness only he was capable of in the specific way that he was capable of holding, a narrative of a story that had affected you in a specific way that was so deep with exhaust and the way it hit you specifically that it had seemed impossible to not have been draw into into the rich way he had pulled you in, a certain tint that had been put over your eyes of the world that, as melancolic as it was, had never felt richer or more fulfilling. He felt liek childhood and the freedom with it and all the bittersweetness that came along with the invneity of he flaws of being human and seeing things as they were in terms of being flawed as a human being and the exsitence of what followed of what that meant for someone; and with him, there was the accompaniment of seeing that as it was, but rather than feeling an incessant sense of pormsing loneliness, there was only compainionship, and in there wss the only thing that wwas human.

You breathed deep as your expression turned to the door, turning towards it. You stopped as you remembered that sense of dread that had come over you inside that room, and the way it increased further the more you stepped over to the door. You could hear the soft talk of Bojack; that natural hoenyed and emotionally heavy voice that spoke og soul but permnant melancholy. You sounded calm enough; you weren't nearly close by enough to be able to propelry hear the tone of the emotion in his voice or whether it was one of defeat or otherwise, but you allowed yourself the hesitant decision of turning back to the stairs as you began to make your way back down to the chattering light of the noise of the party downstairs, each noise a promise of one who wanted to have his own place in the unremarkable repetitiveness of human existence, but it was fulfilling enough as it was for the average.

Your hand eased onto the cold og the staircase handle as you began to make your way down the grey indifference of the steps. You paused as you were halfway down, and the dread began to turn into the sudden desepration to go to Boack again, depsite and even for the danger and the risk that was calling on the other end of the action. Your steps turned, eyes turning back up to the hallway, and you began to step yourself forward onto the steps; until with a queen loud call did a somewhat durken but happy voice unattached to any particular concern eased up the the stairs.

"Hey, beautiful, you see your shadow up there on that wall! Come on down and take a drink and give us a nice grand old kiss!"

OOOOOO

Bojack had settled for threading his fingertips nervously on his wrist, his teeth poked out as he watched the lemur man settle for swaying as the liquor began to hit him, his body swaying as his body eased onto the large window that made up the wall behind him.

His dry eyes turned to where you had disappeared. There was a multitude of emotion that had washed over him when you had left him behind, and now he was settling for his frustration and the increased uncomfortableness that came from the swaying man as he doused the last of his liquor.

"You know if you keep dousing that down its just going to giev you even more problems than the issue of having to display yourself in front of everyone tonight."

Bojack's voice was evidently dry enough that it caused the lemur man to laugh. His head turned to the side of his shoulder as he eased his body with a druken sway over to the side of the table beside him, easing the last of the glass onto the table. His hands reached back as they eased onto the back of the window, eyes swayed as his expression glinted into soehting that was both free in his own druken complacy, content with the mediociary that was coming from his air as his wide eys swayed in their durkenness while his expression eased towards him.

"You've got a nice sharp word on you, Bojack. That in and of itself will help you in this world, though it's not as if the things people say really matter unless you're a cetrain kind of person."

"Yeah. I know. I'm fifty.. I've been on this earth learning these lessons for longer than your girlfriend has known how to be able to put her undies on over her leggings."

The lemur man's eyes flashed. A slight scowl overcame his eyes.

"Don't be like that, Bojack. Don't be like the machine and the turned off dark humor cycims that so many people are because they think knowing and being deeply intimate with someone, of caring about all the embarrassing and emotion based parts of someone is something not worth caring about."

Bojackc chuckled, his eyelids easing down into a mocking humor dressed further by the heaviness that liquor gave him.

"Jesus, you did not know what party you're coming to." He turned his expression over to the door, and though the natural timid expression didn't leave his expression, there was a cetrain natural leadership in his eyes from his increased sense of uncomfortability. "You can go downstairs now that you've made yourself feel better from an A list star getting something. I don't know what kind of liquor you had overnight or what you took, but it's not any of my business."

He heard the cynical drunken laugh from the lemur man behind him. He turned as his ears flicked down, guiding his hands onto the bedsheets as he started to ease his nervous energy from the lemur man onto remaking the bedsheets, swearing under his breath as he did so to serve as nother from of grounding as much as he could give himself.

"You know what its like out there, Bojack. People are awful, and the things technology is coming up with makes people seem so..inhuman. But no matter what anyone tries to come up with, philosophy or tehcnologial or otherwise, none of it will ever change the fact that people inhreintly need one another for conneion to see the point of anything. Even malicouness if cntered around the idea of needing the energy fo someone else to have the purpose to mock someone and tomake them feel good about it. Any man, no matter his philosophy or his heart or the way he views the world, will ever be able to compare to the naturally madness hat genuines isolation gives a man. Even the most heartless man only gets his power from being able to build off of the existence of others. It's only a incredibly unwise or unseeing man that would think he would be genuinely better off than even those he mocks, or even kills or jails, which in and of itself is the subconscious acknowledgement that he's gaining something from the presence of the other's existence."

Bojack's ears flicked down. His had turned over his shoulder as he offered the man one of his puffy eyed falairs of his own hard exhaust as he turned over his shoulder to gaze at him with that puffy laden glare.

"I don't know why you felt the need to come up here. Why you're telling me this." His chubby body stood upright as his fingers rested on the sheets while he folded them over in his grasp. "You know you could have just had a crackhead discussion with someone downstairs, right?"

"You know where I came from. You do."

"I actually seriously don't." His voice was dry as his eyes turned over to the lemur man. "What I do know is that you're spewing out words for the sake of trying to get someone more famous than you to listen to you."

The lemur's eyes eyes flashed in a certain emotional melancholy that almost caught Bojack off guard with how full of authentic depth it was. Bojack's eyes turned back to the thin gray sheet, throwing the blanket onto the mattress as he did so.

"Listen, Bojack, I know that you're the kind of man who pushes away things he news as truth."

Bojack rolled up his eyes sharply. "Am i?"

"That dinner party, the few times that we went out as a friends. As company, if you'd like to call it."

"I'd like to call it as the few times I became desperate enough that I hung out with someone as much as a sex driven ass as I was." Bojack's voice was laden in a tone of a somber nature that suggested his own disappointment as his dry eyes eased their hands onto the sheets. "I dont know why that's relevant to the very clear idea that you're spewing out alcohol lore right now that I have no interest in either encouraging or being a part of."

"That dinner party, back then-we were both miserable, weren't we? Lives as empty as much as our convictions that there was nothing we could do about it."

"I wasn't paricualr thinking about ana afternoon liek that." Though Bojack could feel his increased uncomfortbaility, he settle for trying to take the route of still remaining in control as his hard eyes turned down to the rest of the swat laden and tumbled over bedsheets. "And I wuld like you to take that as permission that I fully don't intend on starting now and would like you to kindly please leave now."

"The dinner party was the night I found the answer, Bojack."

"The answer to what?'" He wiggled his eyebrows as he turned over to the man with a mocking in his eyes, a deep throated chuckle leaving his lips as he head turned to the man. "To the reason why you needed to start getting laid? I would agree on that one."

"I'm serious." Bojack let out a deep breath of his own exasperation as he heard the creak of the man's hands easing away from the window still. His eyes, still squinted in his own dry exhust, turned downward as he tried to keep his focus on the folding of the sheets. "You've always been someone who is able to see things as they should be, Bojack, but never one to act on them. I always wondered why."

"It's under the category of none of your business." His head snapped over his shoulder as he inched his body away from him. His eyes gimmer into a frustrated glint as he tried to ease his body away from the lemur man's hand that reached out in an attempt to touch him. "If you want to keep talking about nonsense you're going to have to get me a lot more drunk, and a lot more laid, than this."

"We can do that." The lemur man's voice was compelled into a stoic gentleness, though Bojack could sense the mocking that was under it, or a judgeemnt of separation. His eased his eyes up into a rool as he settled for continuing to ease his hands onto the rest of the sheets.

"I would like the verson of that that dosen't include the one where you bring up afternoons from the past that I would rather not think about, yes."

"But it was more than that, Bojack." Bojack eased his eyes upward as he gave a shake of his head.

"What I remember that night was me leaving, easing my hand up to pleasure one girl-" He turned as he raised himself up hald bent over the sheets while his hand made a twirl of s motion as he offered the lemur man a natural digsut of his own scrunched expression. "-coming home after driving drunk and hanging out with a bunch of boring conversions done by losers, stumbling home, having a metra of negative thought swirling through my head, stumbling up the stairs and drinking more alcohol until I stumbled and crashed onto the goddmsn bed. Sond famaialir?"

"The negative part of it all, yes."

"Ok. so, we agree. All of it."

"Bojack, the night ou went home I had hit a wall."

"Of course you did. I think we all did." Bojack continued to ease his hands almost too neurotically against the side of the grey sheets while he began to toss them onto the rest of the bed, only bothering to pat over less than half of them as he took a breath, his hands easing as they rested on his hips. "It was a meeting for actors to talk about a project that was always bad and no one wanted to do. I don't know what you think you're getiting out of this, but I came here to live for tonight. Because tonight is evidently better than than anything that ever could have come up from the past."

"Bojack, just because something feels terrible dosen't mean that it has to be that way. Just because other people are doing tasks and activities that make them miserable dosne't mean you have to either. If you see or feel like someone si right, no mattern and especially what the majority are telling you, which are all very sick people more than likely, the more you're on the right track."

"Literally no idea what you're talking about. At all." He waved his hand lazily in same sense he did when annoynae and a dismal took over his air without turning to look at the other man to give him any form of entertainment. "Great flashback, buddy."

"When I came home from that meeting I was just like you. Stoic, defeated, empty, realizing that it felt like there was no point. I actually-"

The pause in the lemur man's words caused Bojack to turn over his shoulder. His illilinious eys were turned downward, hands played on by his hands.

"Bojack, you know how this world is. It takes what it deems as remarkable and throws it on topa nd leaves the majority of people who are human just for the sake of it to rot on by behind them. Everyone dresses it up differently; geniuses, people with souls verses those who don't, powerful and impressive. But none of that mateers, really; at the end of it all its all asign of people taking qualities that are just human, only dressed up to or responded more differently, until it gets to the point where we levergee these people for having traits that, let's be honest, with the exception of maybe one or two is just human psychology exapsereted. I realized we were one of those few hat was leading into the downfall of humanity and its inhreinrt excuses for being cold, and I felt this disgust come over me that was so deeep, I hardly knew what to do with myself."

Bojack's head turned to the party. He could hear the noises coming downstairs; even the sounds of the thrilling of the air ad the laughter of voices was enough to increase his frustration, though, being the kind of ulmaite tired and wear soul that was fed up with human existence and phycology, he admittedly found a subincious relief in being away from the rasied up voices. He breathed in as his dry, jaded expression turned back to the lemur man.

"I think we neede to get back down to the party. Get ourselves out of ourselves out of our heads a bit. You might be too caught up in bullshit mode to be able to see how that's a good idea."

The lemur man's eyes flashed, and he stepped forward.

"I saw it in you the second I came in here, Bojack."

"What, the urge to be left alone?" He stepped back, his hands raised in front of him. "I get that you think you had this profound relevantiona few yeers ago-"

"It wasn't a profound relevant!" The man's voice spewed out, and Bojack's ears visibly turned back as his eyes widend. There was a sens eof madness to his voice, and Bojack's own timid fear overcame his expression as she snapped his head over to the door.

"Ok, great. Good. I just want us to make sure this night isn't something stress-'

"When I came home I was going to kill myself."

Bojack paused as his hands eased away from his defense, his eyes transferred into an alert as he watched him.

"I was going to kill myself-and it felt good. It felt incredible to have that power over my identity once I stepped back and cleared my head and realized I was a pawn in a game that was making me miserable to be a part of it. I can't help it, you see, Bojack, it's a apart of my humanity the same way it is for everyone else, whether they admit or want it or not. I felt a little mad, see, and my hands were trembling and mI began to see this dim black overcome me; I saw nothing but emptiness in the eyes of people around me. They had sold themselves and they were well off, and the world was becoming more techcnial and cycnimal and soulless and uncaring about the emotions that make a person-if anything they were willingly a crime."

"Yes, alcohol and depression ia a hell of a combination. I get that."

"I was hanging from a rope when I saw it come over me, Bojack! My wife! She came from a large expanse of a sudden galactic ripe over me, and I saw her, Bojack! A few days later when I woke up from knocking my head onto the ground from trying the noose on too deeply I started to come back to myself and I realized I saw her. A few days later, I found her. It was despair that brought me to her, Bojack." His thin lips tremmebeld as a shaking madness eased into his eyes. "There's point to the despair after all, and I know you found your wife the same way I wanted to find mine." His hands reached out, gripping onto Bojack as his palms grasped firmly onto the Bojack's shirt. His already worried and apologteic expression only eased further into a melted exhaust as Bojack's eyes turned into a thread of worried acceptance as he was turned down to the man. "Before I found my wife, before you did or any other miserable half famous made jacking off into the veery thng that chips them down does, I have to ask. Before we found our wives were were just wasting, having our truth but the world didn't want us and we didn't want it, which just made our lives wasting away for no reason, suffering, but our wives speak our lanaguge, and now we have a point to our own personal voices where so many just suffer and rot in the world and fall away with no reason while the rest of the world goes on in its indifferent tole, uncaring and doing the same ignroat bliss of the same thing over and over. Tell me, Bojack. What did you have to suffer to find her?"

"Oh." Bojack's head snapped over to the door, if only to take comfort in the indifference from downstairs. His hand hesitnantly came to the lemur man's hand, rested his timidn fingertips on it as he began to ease him away. His fingers rested on his as the apology in his eyes met against the desprate broken begging of the man. "Look, man, she's not my wife. I think you might have been through alot lately-or maybe you just…drank too much?"

Bojack's eyes swuinted in that timid way that he made before he spoke an apology. But the lemur man ceased anything else Bojack could have spoken; there was as stoic exhaust and desperation in the kemur man's eyes and the emotion in his eys increased while the bottom of his lips trembled,

"Ok, ok. I get it. We're upset. Former..star…guy…friend is upset. Ok."

Bojack's ears lowered as he now allowed his body to fully lean in front of the lemur man, whos body had now tremebeld to a full exhaust anf a certain level of pathetciness as his head turned downward, luminous eyes obtaining a new sense of that neon broken blue in his eyes as his head eased downward. Bojack's breath intook as his hand kept rested on his, plump stomach easing onto his lap, his hand rested on his back as his own wet and curious eyes compelled into question while he watched the man unfold.

"I see it in you, Bojack." The man;s voie was small and trembling. "There were men around Los Angeles who were chosen."

"Chosen." There was an attempt for Bojack to be sweet and somewhat soothing as he spoke, his voice guided into a slight stoic nature as his ears watched him in question.

"I feel her every day. I know she's with me. I know she's here. I had my doubts, when I first woke up and collected myself into the mundnaity of that impossibly empty house. I knew I should have felt some inhreint shame and I did; but when I went out earlier that day, I knew what could have been so easily described as drug binduced hallucnaiton was the turth. I made my way into the market, still stumbling off of the stimulntas from that of which I had taken."

"Of course you were. I remember seeing you there evry single day until you racked." Bojack;s smile rasied onto his snout, his voice somber and gentle as his hand resed on the back of the lemur man's trembling back. His head shook, hiands encased against the large of his sockets and illuminoiou eyes.

"For only a week did I need to collect myself. Was I punished. I was foggy headed, fried, my body stumbling into the market every day after fighting that despair that comes with isolation-and then I saw her. Her head turned as she looked over at me, over her shoulder, The same look that was in her eyes was the one I saw rip open through my cieeling and showed me an entire world that I couldn't even fathom. Galaxies, stars, different forms of light and countless impreohensible forms of life and all the complexities that make up human existence. I saw all of it, and that in and of itself felt as if it was profound and complex enough toi kill me, but when she turned I saw the beauty in her eyes, this clouded profound emotional beauty, and I feel to my knees. It was like all the complex beauty of everything I had ever seen, but encased into this incredible, comforting woman of a person, and she smiled at me, Bojack, and I knew it, I knew it right then."

The lemur man's hands were visibly shaking, and Bojack's eyes turned downward as he watched the way his fingers were cramped. Bojack took a shaken breath as his eyes, wet with worry turned upward and over to the open door, though he settle for leaning forward to meet the lemur man where he was at as his hands pressed onto his trembling ones; awkwardly, but still with the intention of trying to calm him as the emotion on his face heavied onto him as his eeys dimmed and tried to hold his shaking ones.

"I do remember walking by you that day." Bojack's hand ease donto him, somber and guidning as he allowed the kindness to met the man;s bewildering exhaust as the sobs wretched through him that came when someone was overwhelming by being human. "I remember seeing you fall dwon on your knees and thinking, 'jeez, he did not take the aftermath of that meeting well." He chuckled, the bottom of his own exhausted worn eyelids raised up as the laugh ease out of his mouth awkwardly. "I think i got that one right all things considered, huh, buddy?" The kindness felt awkward, but it was preferable to the black shakiness of what made the situation otherwise as his hands awawaly took the hands of the lemur man into his palms, his hands easing onto his own as hs ears flickered back awkwardly. The lemur man shook his head, the duct of the tears rolling down against the fuzz of his cheek as luminous eyes reflected against the side of the surface of his eyes.

"I took her home that night. I could see the way her eys were staring to have that profound ehernal look, and she made love to me that night."

"Good." Bojack's ears perked up, his eyebrows raised into a timid gentleness of his uncertain fragility and timid air as he raised his lip up into an equally uncertain smile. "Good. At least you can say all that crisis was for something, right?"

"When she started to ease into me, I could feel the way the pain was coming over me."

"Pain? She was practiced, wasn't she? At her age?"

"Bojack, I need you to listen and stay with me. This was a spiritual kind of relevation, the kind that draws you in and overtakes you for everything you are at the compact profound nature of it while it sweeps over you. When I saw that sky break over me that morning I knew something inside of me had been scarred-I had taken in human existence and all of is profound and impossible compelity, and if you were to feel or see the rue scope of the expanse of humanity for what it truly is, it would have destroyed you too; but I felt rebirthed. I felt renewed, and I had finally come back to seeing the core center of human exiwtence and its profound complexity as it was and I saw it in her eyes as she made love to me; but there was a lot of incredible pain in her eyes too as she lifted heerself up from kissing me. We both felt it,. And we both were breaking apart and coming back together again at having found one another."

The lemur's hands were gripped against Bojack's sweater. Bojack chuckled, his hands reaching out as both a patrozining and a nervous laugh ease out of his lips as his hands pressed on the lemur's palm while his eyes squinted a he tried to ease him back.

"Alright. Ok, buddy. I think you've had a rough go if it finding love. I heard the transition is..difficult. Clearly, if it did all this to you."

The lemur man's face broke out as his head shook in exhaust again, the muscles on his face cramped as they were embedded into his conflicted emotion.

"You're lucky in the way your wife and yourself have had a go at it, Bojack. All things considered. But I can feel that there's an inherent feeling of abandonment, or something thats pushed aside, for the both of you. You'll go on in your life with your wife having to gradually push you to the side and behind her, maybe, with the way it is of you having that certain energy that demands to push everything away."

Boajck's eyes squinted as a glare overcame his eautures. He turned his head to the side as he eased his head away in slight disgust.

"Look, man, I get that you think you had this amazing experience, but that dosen't give you the right to start projecting on whatever bad reputation you think I have. I'm sorry that having sex with the right woman did all of this to you. But don't take it out on me."

The lemur man's head shook, sob wretching out of his lip that tremebeld along with the ease of his mouth under the tense emotion on the paralization of his face.

"It's a spiritual rule to you, Bojack. The essence iof you is incredibly unfortunate no matter where you go, don't pretend you don't feel it, or know it. You were pushed into a spiritual rule where its almost impossible even for your wife to love you with how things are and the waythe rules of thumb for your existence and any or all area will eventually lead to her either suffering or having to push you to the back of her own ule of thumb and acceptance of it, and though you'll be the main source and energy of her heart, you'll be more like a story that she only speaks to others in hints and melancholic sayings more than you will be human, as it was. The richest love" His wide eyes threaded up as the black of his foggy pupils turned up to Bojack, the wet film of his eyes not ceasing as his hands gripped onto his sweater. "But maybe you're not even aware of it yet." His trembling, almost pathetic emotional form shook as he took one of his hands that gripped onto Bojack's sweat and eased his wrist onto the front of his face, easing his arm against the edge of the large of his eyes. "I may have come too easly-or maybe it's too late. Maybe you can't recinginze it yet yourself, but when you find the love of you life and in such literal terms and right in front of you, you begin to lose your way, your sight a bit." His eyes turned down and over to his hands, a melhcolic reflection in his eyes as his pupils threaded down and onto his hands, cramped up into the wet of how he had succumbed to his own overwhelming emotion as his wide eyes turned downward and to the cramp of his palms. "Too early or too late; it's hard to feel the difference in these cases."

Bojack's eyes were still threaded into a timid uncerinety, and his head turned over to the door that had the comfort of the familiar stagnant light as his fingers cramped on his palms. His ears lowered, expression timid as he looked back over to the exhaust of the trembling man who eased forward in front of himself as he clamored himself into a ball, both at once profound and pathetic ans seemingly tied into a natural remarkability that Bojack was naturally drawn into even as he felt an odd disgusted bewilderment at his lack of understanding.

"Hey, man, I get that." His hand reached back as his fingertips scratched on the back of his neck, timid unceritnity through his actions as his eyes turned into their own wt uncertainty. "I think you may have had a little too much to drink."

The lemur man laughed, bitter and relfecive as his palms eased onto his eyes.

"No, no." He shook his head as he eased his palms onto the duck wet of his eyes, blinking as the remaining run of the salt wet eased away from his wide tinted and hautninf expression, the yellow that made up the background of his eyes only increased through the cut up illumination of the neon light that surroneed and dressed through his air. "Maybe it's for best, that you're clueless. It's not as if me seeing anf feeling the truth and the cope of it all has made anything better."

"Hey-" Bojack eased his hands onto his knees as he got up allong with the lemur man, his own defensive eyes following his form as the stout man began to ease his body up from the floor and walk his wat over to the side of where he had left the mpty glasses by the table. "You can spew out gibberish and confuse me, but you don't get to call me clueless when you're the one who can't even describe where he's coming from clearly."

Bojack's fingertips eased and played with his chubby wrists as he began to follow the lemur man, his hard edged look at odds with the movement of his hands as he walked over to the lemur. He raised a shaken hand against the nearest glass, easing his palm onto it, stumbling slightly, just enough that it caused Bojack's eyes to widen as he rushed forward on instinct and allowed his hand to catch the back of the lemur man's back. The lemur man's eyes lazily threaded up as he stumbled, swaying forward as a bubbled laugh left his lips. Bojack stepped back again, ears lowered as he watched him in something that was both curiosity, but mostly the usual form of detached disgust that came along with anything he didn't understand.

"I still don't understand it myself, you're right. I don't think any given person who was granted the full scope of humanity or existence could ever even come lose tot he compelcity of it-how spirutlay profound and incredible it is, but there's something inherently melchlcic about ut, profoundly so, almost so much to the point where you could be crushed under it if it came down to seeing it too deeply."

"Good thing that you're just another drunk bumbling guy, then."

Bojack meant it half as his own awkwards attempt at encouragement, half at his own patroizning nature as he followed the lemur man over to where ht leaned in front of the window. His body swayed as he eased his hip onto the table, his head turned up as he began to stu,mble his way over to the half open door. Bojack let out a half breath of relief as he began to follow them lemur. His body settled against the molded entrance that eased against it as his body leaned forward and onto it, luminous eyes turned towards the hallway with a distance in his eyes full of enough profound emotional grcae that Bojack felt taken aback even just taken it in, whether he meant to or not.

"I knew you know it. It hits everyone differently, I supposed, because every separate bit of life that hits someone is different, as all true love this human and this interwoven by whatever makes up existence always is." His large eased down and over to the whiskey. Bojack's eyebrows threaded into his exhausted judgeemnt as his expression slowly eased over and took in his air. "I came here tonight to show her off; feeling something like the way I do with her, it's a miracle I don't implode with the amopount of profound huamnty I feel through loving her,v and the way she looks at me, the different entire lives interwoven from the galaxy itself when she has that gleam in her eyes when she looks up at me with that incessant and softnes of a gleam of hope that in and of itself would have been enough to fill my life with so much meaning, I never even would have known what to do with myself even if it ws only in the mundane version of where she had found me. That compacdt, incredible feeling of a lov and connection, of something even more so important than existrnce itself." His head leaned back, heav eyelids lidded against his eyes, half durken, but there was a flash of a cloudiness and a neon light that flashed in his eyes that was from more than just the pool, and Bojack's eyes widened, his attention span guided over to the lemur man's bittersweet disposition, just enough that he could see feel that sudden holt that passed by him as as took in that sudden onslaught of a suggestion of an otherness; one that wasn't entirely unlike the wya he felt when your arms cradled hi at night, his plush curves and body eased into your palm as you made love to him under sweat ridden sheets in the most intimate and grounding way, free from the threat of numbness or of any kind of aimklessness; his own aged baloted face turned down, sad eyes set deeply into his own and chubby face, as his eyes turned downward, ears following from behind.

"I get that you think you found something special. And I'm happy for you." The timid uncertainty on Boajck's eyes didn't lessen as the lemur man's own squinted eyes turned to look at him with a sway that gave away something that was more than just a drunken exhaust. "I just don't think that you're speaking a lot of sense, and I'm too much in my own head trying to figure out what's going on with me."

The wde eys of the lemur man flashed, his own drunken swayed grin rasing up into something that wa sso detached into tahat occasional flash of his eyes that it was almost enough to make Bojack envious of it, despite thevauge profound fear that he felt at the almost alien sense of the guidance into it, a fear along with the remarkable suggestion, the same as the lemur man described it, and only adding to the uncerinity and want of Bojack, as well as the want of denial.

"It's hard to find what we did after a lifetime of having the same as, if not less, than everyone else."

Boajck's face tensed, wincing even just at the suggestion.

"No, man, it's not that. I get that you're probably going through some hard time that's making you think some weird backass crak thing, andf I get that. I don't think there's maybe people I can think of who don't go through that phase at some point." He raised out his hand to press onto the lemur man's shoulder, but his head only snapped over his shoulder as he tensed atthe timid feeling of Bojack's hand eased into uncerinity against his shoulder. "If you want me to try and help you get soem help, I'm sure it wouldn't hard to find some help." His eyes rolled to the ceiling. "I personally find the whole process more like someone thinking they're getting help when they're just goping through the process of someone who fake training just for the sake of getting to sit and boss people all dsy, but I won't ket that stop you from falling into the same process if that's what you need."

The lemur man's eyes were fogged as he turned over to Bojack. With a sudden swing of his body did he wased his body away from the entrance of the door. Bojack jumped as his ears flicked back, tripping over his feet as the glass abruptly feel from the lemur man's grasp in his own detached air as he began to walk his way past Bojack. Bojack's ears lowered as his hard eyes turned over to the lemur man, who stepped across the moonlight white masterbedroom just druknelly enough that Bojack took that as a permission to take nothing he said seriously, and just condienlty enough that his own spiked curiosity was only eased even further depsite any want of warning he would have tried otherwise.

He gave a jaded breath as he kneeled down and picke dup the glass. The flare of the hard look in his eyes increased as he turned his head to where the lemur man was now inspecting the half made masterbed, the half thrown curled sheets that were tossed onto top of it as he tripped his way around the bed, eyes fogged in what seemed like a hurmoed observed.

"Hey, just because you think you became a God because you started having decent sex dosen't mean my personla space becomes your own personal heaven." He placed the whisky stained cup back onto the table, the wide wet look of a flare in his eyes not decreasing as he tripped his way clumsily across the room, still party tripping over several of the bedsheets that had been hastily thrown knot the ground as the loudness and business of the days had gone one. The lemur man turned as his eyes eased over against the mattress, his curiosity only embedding further as the light shined uip in his eyes that came along with what seemed like a sudden conenction of famailityr.

He leaned forward, until his body was half hanging over the masterbed, his hands threading into the curled over sheet.s "Since the world is inherently empty-"

"I wouldn't call it empty with all those shaken desperate asse out there, no."

"I suppose that's true." His head turned downward as he continued to ease his hands up and down against the mattress bedsheeets. "It's neither good or bad."

"That's the simple way of putting it. I meant more can we stop these slew of boring conversations and get back downstairs, while you learn how to not bother someone at their own party." His hand indicated behind him as a flare overcame his eyes. The lemur man turned as his eyes turned over to him with a slight hidden exhaust of question in his eyes that reflected against the blue expanse that came from outside. "This is why I never cared for them. Always brings out the already incredibly obvious crackhead nature in someone and projects it even further, as if that were even possible."

The lemur man's eyes turned away from Bojack and eased back onto the mattress. Bojack settled for crossing his arms, his eyebrows quirked up while his arms crossed against his chest as he watched him with his own pessmeistic display of question.

"You do realize that it looks like you're masturbating onto my partner's sheets right now?"

"She's been here. You both have-in the ways that count. In the same way my wife and I have since I met her, discovered her-" Another ease of his body against the mattress. Bojack's own dry eys turned away, the expression on his face deepened in his distant exhaust as he turned as head over his shoulder, oif only to take away from playing too much into that of which the lemur man was saying and not wanting to get too caught or turned into it; but also from the uncomfortbaility of the truth that he felt inside of the lemu man's words, even done to his tone.

"Yes, both my partner and I have been inside of my masterbed. Congratulations, drunk you officially know how matresses work and their dynamic with two people who want to smash. Can we please get back down to the party now?"

The lemur man's handa threaded onto the mattress. His head turned up as he looked over to where the wide, ceiling to floor windows of Bojack's room was eased forward.

"But this is just the start of it, I have a feeling. You brought just as much pain into this room as much as you did the entrance of your potential. There's still a lot to be discovered." His head turned downward, distance of reflection in his eyes as he turned down with his hands guided onto the mattress. Bojack lifted an eyebrow as he watcehd the illumination from the outside never sleeping constant eyelid of Los Angeels ease in through the windows, the neon light of the natural tired weak light of the moonlight following uo.

"Ok, buddy. I think it's time to say that when you start touching my bedsheets like that, its time to take a break and ease you up and pull you away." Bojack walked his way over to the lemur, though even as he stepped his way towards him and tripped over the sweat induce crumpled bedshhets that made up the messy moirnings of the sweet notgsiltia of simsplcity that came from the core truth of loving and of being loved by one another, of his own disbeleif that haunted him in baggy eyes and etecehd features into his brawny skin, he had found a core atthat moment that had been just as the lemur man had described; too profound and almost oo heavy and complex for him to even be able to stand, and oddly heartbreaking. He paused as his chubby fingertips eased into his palm, then gradually reached out as he guided his palms onto the lemur man's back. He turned his head up, and Bojack felt a choking emotion overcome him for a moment, and it must have een inside of his eyes that were more vulnaable than he ever intended for them to be, because a clarity of recingizition eased into the lemur man's eyes and his expression threaded up to look at him.

"When was the last time you felt something even reotley that natural, that rich, that priming, knownf that it would never change or elt you go or even so much as fail you when it came down to it? The consistency of how our wives love us, what it feels like, everhcnaging and incredible as it."

Bojack eyes lowered down, and though he kept that fight of distant defense in his almond eyes, there was nonetheless an increased sense of that timid admittnece in his expression even as his eyes lowered downward.

"Diane. I was on the roof with Diane-it was when I was talking to her about…things. Projects, things that felt so important back then. And I sat on the roof and settled for looking over at the highways and the business of the city in front of me, but that night it felt like I was looking at something…remarkable. For once. Instead of just setting noise and people I hated and things that annoyed me, I felt this-" A crumbled rasp left his lips as his eyes turned downward, his lips pressing together as he did so as his squinted eeys turned down into his own thought. "This…remarkabality of life, I guess. Or the apprecaion of it. Like I was feeling what it was like to be alive for the first time, even though nothing had literally or techcnially changed." He laughed as he gave a slight breath that gave away the exhaust that came along with uncertainty. His eyes turned up, threaded and distant ito his thought as his expression turned up as he watched him with his own sicily and drunken bittersweet eyes that knew what it felt liket o be truly alive, but only in the sickjly and durken, giving up on himself fashion-never the other way around, such as it had been hinted as that night, such as he was feeling now to an even more profound and exdneisve degree. "Does that make sense?"

The lemur man's eyes turned down and back over to the sheets. "You've opened up something icnreidbly human already, more than even the faith that I ever would have given you, or would have thought to. Our wives and the life we;ve discovered with them is only the last minute breath before the expanse of what is out there-but what we;ve felt and been given with them is so rich that even that might serve to be too much for us, in an odd way. But that and you can never really be pulled into the full essence of what makes someone or their existence interesting at their core other than your own truth; in this sense the only thing that gives your life meaning is being as deeply embedded into your own core as much as you'rre able to. You're thoughts, feelings, even illnesses and everything that makes up your own experienced of life. You can get the illusion of other people's thoughts, but the reason we feel empty focusing so much on someone else is because that onhereint richness that comes along with knoiwng our own truth down to its core. We were meant to find meaning in our own inherent richness, not in others, which will always be vast and empty to try and access someone's own richness that makes up their experience. We can have flaws with ourselves, but ultimately we're the only ones who can give our life genuine truth."

Bojack's eyebrows threaded into a crippled question as he looked at him in his own jaded question.

"If we can't find it in others, then why are you stumbling around with this phgilsophy that our wives would be the ones to give us the entrance to this?"

Bojack;'s voice was sombeer-almost gentle, and that of which spoke that he gneuily meant the question he was speaking in his own profound purity that he expressed now and then.

"Our wives aren't an extension of someone else, Bojack. They are us. That's what makes it almost oo much, so profound, just as the expanse of everything we ever could have known or ever will be is. It's incredible to thik that we're full of so much emptiness and cynicism and doubt, when in reality what is out there is the opposite of true; there's such a wide expanse of compelcity out there that I think many would find themselves mad to fall into it, and in some ways I think tis the sheltered family of cynicism and the like like that saves people more than it is the rich, expanded truth."

Boajck's ears flicked. His eys searched the lemur's own in question, one of which he couldn't deny he carried as his eyes search over the lemur man's wonder, his eys still holding that distance in his expression as his hands contuied to ease onto the mattress, and flooded by the melcholcy that had always met Bojakc on every cigarette stricken and reflected doubtful night-still prevalent, but now having that window of a sense of otherworldly spirutlaity to it just as the wya that you had granted him.

The train of thought was enough to make him pause as he consieered the lemur man.

"So what you're saying is we found some weird extension of ourselves through a crakchead universal trip you had? Is that it?"

"Don't cheat yourself, Bj, you're not worthy of it despite everything that you might believe. You chose the path that's familiar to you, but it destroys you. Whether or not we were made to find our wives or not, they alays would have been with us; not ben the universe or that of which it had created itself can take away the tide of that which belongs togetehr, and though for many it may only reside in the subconscious, still they're always meant to be there with us, through us."

Bojack coughed, trying to ease away some of the panic threading through the feeling of being trapped thaht surrounded the room, even as docile and a evidently unassuming the lemur man was while his eeys continued to ease with a wonderment as his eys guided and searched over the bed, his mouth hunf open in slight awe.

"Please don't tell me you're relating this to my relationship. Which, is, by the way, a relationship, as in my relationship, and one of which means that they should be left alone by prying eyes of other annoying bugs like you."

The lemur man's eyes only followd his hand. The uncertain dolce look of awe on his features, no rendered as an emotion that seemed of it to overtake his eyes as the large look of his expression seemed to increase both in its detachment and its depth, as well as its almost childlike sense of wonder. His eyes turned down to the mattress as his eyes threaded down and followed the path. His eyes turned up to the crumpled pillows; the same ones of which Bojack had woken up with you earlier, with his timid but utimlwty ecxperinced, and, above allm hungeirer and almost maddening want of your own embrace that a aprt of him, even in the forefront of his mind, knew would have ben destoryed without as he had felt the first thing that had felt liek a deep and embedded firm truth that came along with existence.

But Bojack's annoynce was increased as he saw the awe stricken look that came across the lemur man's eyes, and the complicated glint on his expression gave away to a sudden hard annoyance as he stepped forward, easing his hand onto the back of the lemur man's back. He jumped, as if taken out of a trance, which in turn caused Bojack's naturally timid air to jump inmkind; until his eyes began to ease down into a eased exhaust of exasperation as his hand rested on the lemur man;s back.

"I think you've done enough of tyring to pretne dlike this isnt' weird-or of putting your hands all over an inaimcity that dosen't belong o you and has nothing to do with you." he indicated his head over to where the stagnant light of the downstairs party trailed upstairs and into the bedroom. "Come on. if anyone else saw you right now you would be the front of the newspaper tabloid for the next week, and I don't mean in the good way. You've said enough."

The leur man blinked, slowly, and his hand sgradually begna to ease off of the sheets. Bojack's pout and the hard look on his expression only increased as he eased his ahdn forward and gripped it into the lemur man's hands, raising his palms upward from where he was caressing agaisntit. Bojack eased his hands off of the mattress sheets, though he cringed remoltey at having his hands threaded into the lemur man's hands in such a gentle way considering his offput annoyance, and he settled for throwing his hand by his sie as he stepped back, beards lowered.

"You've made your point., You're going through a class Hollywood's way with its toys and its ploys that affect everything ina negative way evtnullualy. You've made yourself very clear."

The lemur man lifted himself off of the edge of the mattress as he stumbled his way from the edge of it, his eyes blinking slowly as he tried to remain upright, through still did it look as if he was drawn into the edge of something that it seemed he could see that Bojack could only feel, and he felt a wall of itnimation at the idea of being able to feel or understand anything further than he already did. His annoyunce reached its peak as he stepped his way forward, but not before the lemur man could raise up a ahand, and Bojack paused as the glare on his features increased as he kept his eyes turned up to what seemed like empty space easing on top of the bed.

"You both came together here. She's not meant to be here-mine isn't either. But they managed it, ofc ourse they did."

Bojack's eyes squinted as he made his way over to the man, sweating as he tripped over some of the crumpled sheets.

"Yes, ok, I get that. Great. Why don't you tell it downstairs to all of the other adults after a few more drinks, mainly so that I don't die of secondhande emabressment from all this?"

The lemur man's eyes flashed as he turned his head to Bojack in defiance. There was a slight edge of satisfaction that came to Bojack at least from that; it was the closest thing the mane had shown from being away from the otherwise telling expansive thick emotional wall that the lemur man was drawn into and encased in.

"You look like a guy who just realized what having sex is, and you're not being too easygoing on just how much people could play off of that cliche."

The lemur man's lips raised into a tremble as the edge of his lips curved up into what seemed like a detached, reflective humor. His head snapped back over to the bed again, eyes resting on the space above the mattress as his arms threaded against the side of the sheets again. Bojack's eyes winced into his own judgeemntal wince as he watched the way the man turned his head back up to the space. Bojack gave an exhausted breath, turning his head back to the door, and a timid gudience of exhaust overcame his features as he began to make his way to the lemur man.

"Ok. This is getting embarrassing. I get that you have this cute little more than likely drug indcued story going on that you're chasing, but I need you to get off of the mattress." His face twisted into an abrupt fight of a wince as the lemur man eased his arm onto Bojack's hia eyes turned up as they flashed over in a fight. Bojack's expression winced as his face twisted into a further anger of instience. "'I'm serious-noe!"

"There was never any point to any of it, was there?" The lemur man;s voice jolted out into a fight, his voice curved into an abrasive and sudden curve of a fight, ands there was enough emotional distress in his voice to cause Bojack's eyes to widen as his hands snapped away from his shoulders.

Bojack's eyes kept wide into question as his hands eased back onto his chest, folding firmly into himself. "What?'

"All of it; the abuse we put ourselves through. The things we say that we didn;t deserve. What we robebd from ourselves-they just as equally inept philosophies of people around us that we decided to take on our shoudlkers and bleieve, even though it didn't even remotely reflect what was actually going on, or what mattered at its core. It's something so vast, so different from anything anyone even comes close to being able to find, that it gets to the point where it's almost deluded, the projected trauma from what people have lost that they didn't even realize, but I discovered and how clearly I saw things once I discovered it and what was really going on. I';s ridiculous, what we robbed of ourselves-what we continue to rob of ourselves." His body trmebeled, and there was the flash of the profound distance and a strike in his eyes that threaded through the expanse of the neon light that expanded into the large luminous of his eyes. "To see and to realize what I have, to see how everyone is just a projection of their lack of humanity and love and what's been robbed from them-that's why everyone is so unwell, Bojack, why you and I have been unwell. When you start to feel that genuine sense of love anf warmth of what your partner gives you, that grounding purpose, it starts to drive you to madness."

A certain fear overcame Bojack's timid expression; his hands raised up as his head snapped over to the opendoor.

"I get that. I get that you-" A timid unceritnity overcame his eyes as he scratched the back of his head. "I get that you think that's something you discovered. But right now you just look like another abused forgien crackhead who for some reason thinks this is a good idea." He waved his hand in front of him, his ears spayed out as he shook his head slightly in his own fear of disbelief. "Just some guy, tripping himself into my bedroom and bedsheets and putting his hands onto a place where my partner and I-" He paused, his eyes widend as he felt the vulnerability of even the suegstion of giving the lemur man leverage towards more material overcame him. He turned his hands back down to his wrist, his eyes lowered downward into his own sad exhaust as he gave a shrug, his voice becoming lowerer and more somber. "I mean, you know."

"You made love."

Bojack winced, the term feeling as unworthy towards his previous trashy exhaust as much as it had ever been. He could remember the way you had touched him and the wear of his gradually torn down face taht came along wih time and he lack of care he had been able to give himself, both from the constant chaos and the unapologetci flaws of the world always directly projected onto him in some way that had rendered his already softened and beilswerd wretched heart to something that was of sabotage to himself and as a result of the wear of the world, executed against the bloatehd bags under his eyes and the expanse of the bloat of his cheeks, the plump curve of his belly and the general cynical puffy eeyed bag of his exapseraiton that had taken him awy from what woul have seemed considered of such profound love that came from you; the way his tone held a paritcualry soulless and jaded emotion that possessed him as he spoke the words. And you had found his hand ans taken it while it had enfolded into a gentle encasement of your hands against his own, his palm trailing intoa tender encasement of your embrace agaisnt his own as your lips had spoiled his cheek, and you had made him feel that certain bittersweet deserving that matched the bittersweet truth of life that met against the equivalent of life as it was and always would be, and it flet so refreshing to meet the bewildering chemistry of life that didn't meet any standards or set goals or of any stagnant and equal philosophy the way so many people had wanted to believe to fit their own sanity; your love for him was as life was, senseless and beautiful with it slack of responding to any attempt at predictabaility or even of rules that made the slightest minute mount of sense. His breathed in, head turning up to the lemur man as both exasperation and a guidance of his wet timid feeling overcame him as he made his way to the ebd. If there was one thing he knew, he loathed how much his trail of through was meeting through the general feeling of the well of the wall of emotions encasing inside of the emotionally lathered ancient room and the neon light of it that surrounded the bedroom that had deepened in its strange feeling of ancient revolability the more he had become intimate with you and come to know you.

"Well, I don't know if it would match the label of tha-"

"You found one another." His head turned as his stout legs began to clamor onto the edge of the bed, his expression still one that was made of someone with his espcially prominent childlike wonder as his head eased upward and to the ceiling, his head turned back as his mouth encased open. "There was something that opened here, the same way it did with my wife and I. A physical opening up of a profound truth that came alone with being human-so simple that, as the way it is with people wanting to make things far more complicated than they are, can't fathom how simple we could heal and be and love, in big and and small everyone fails themsleevs very day." He turned his hand as he reached over to Bojack; Bojack's ears settled downward as his eeys winced while the lemur man leaned down and swpt his gray fingertip against the diamond snout of Bojack's diamond. He winced as he reached out his hand and gripped the lemur man's wrist for a moment, subconioulsy trying to edge him away from the sudden triggered fight in Bojack. The lemur man winced as his wrist tried to snap away from Bojack, his arm trying away from him; it wasn't untilt here was an insult of a swear from the lemur that Bojack's concentraon broke, the lemur man's arm snapepd away as he flashed his pointed eyes over to Bojack.

Bojack brreahted deep, his hands reqaching up to hsi chest a a timid fear overcame his eyes.

"I'm sorry."

The lemur's eyes flashed. He turned his head backt ot he ceiling; Bojack's own exhausted and puffy eyes followed, his hands encased on his chest while his fingertips guided against the spaces of his hand while they raised onto his chest. He felt as helpless and as pathetic as ever; he knew in your eyes it would have been labeled as precious.

"There was a cut open here, I can sense it. It's the same as what happened when my own wife made love to me and she looked up at me with those eyes that were both present and not-that comepllinf expans eof distant space in her eyes in and of itself would have been enough for me to succumb to the greater wondering, but when I felt the physical change in the air while we touched and made love to oen another, I knew that there was a physical change that was more than just the heat of coming into one another and the natural spells of intimacy and of loving oen another and having the different lenses through my eyes from that. This wasn't from the power of my own perception; it was from something that was greater than I was, than even my wife, but we had inspired it from knowing one another."

His grey hand reached out, easing up ito the air. Bojack's bottom eyes, puffy and exhausted with the extent of his own melancholy eased upward into his own pity as he felt his own washed o emabresssment, mixed in with disocomfort at the seeing of himself inside of the babbling lemur, ease himself knot the ebd.

"Do you want me to call you wife, tell her you've already lost it for the night before the damn game even starts and we can call it a night?"

Exapsertion occupied his eyes, his hand turned back as his eyebrows raised up in defiance. The lemur man turned his head back, eyes glimmered into a sudden strike that was through him that, although undigined, led over tot he sudden glimmer in his eeys that temporarily cut through his aimlessness tha was attractive in its natural pure spirit tha becam emore hard to find inlife the more than people became a slave to the natural and constna tonslought of human phycology.

"One moment, BJ." He indicated his hand forward and towards the bed and he kneeld his way down and onto the mattress. Bojack's eyes widdend in uncertain curisorty as his eyes threaded over tot he man, and his face scrucnched uip as his head snapped over his shoulders while his body closed in.

"I really think we need to take it easy on the…crackhead thing, buddy. You haven't been thinking right-and I know-" Bojack lifted up a finger, true to his own charatsicly charming cartoonish ways in his own attempt at trying to take control despite the timid nature of his heart as he raised it upward. "I know that things don't feel clear when you've been on stimulants for as long as you have. I can tell. But that dosen't give you the right o clamor onto my bed and start saying things and bathsit noensne about my..partner and I splitting open some source of energy." He chuckled, raspily, the cokienss of invaldation meeting his eyes. "You sound crazy. If I didn't know you I already would have taken to calling the police by now-" He swayed clumsily, his hand just barely managing to catch onto the bedside table beside him as his ahdn caught up, etting out an abrupt and awkward chuckle as he did so. "You would be doing the ebay thing right now by coming down with me and pretneidn likt you don't think like this. You should know as well as I do what people in Los Angeles are like; I guess you could say people in general, which is how people end up here once they go insane from the damage, but regardless."

"You won;'t give me a chance, a way to try to show you something new?"

"New?" Bojack gsve a chuckle as his eyes wince.d "The only thing you've been telling me is that you think some weird shit happeend becassue you made love to your wife. I get that it works for you, and I guess I'm happy for you, but I wuld prefer if the both of us took the route that we know works best with this crowd and took our way outside and tried to..not be these crackheaded methehads for a night."

The lemur man's body lifted upward as he watched Bojack with a flash of his eyes, his body and the inssitnce of him swaying back. "But you'll drink alcohol."

"Oh my god, is this going to be a petty argument or the 'life changing sex story' you think it is?" Bojack's hands waved out in mockery as they splayed out, his expression half a form of tense glare, half of of his own almost playful scorn as his ears flicked back while he ajbbed his words at him. "I say that the key here is to not be a freak. I think we should agree with me, stop this detail nonsense or whatever weird sie affect meht gave you, and come downstairs with me and our….partners."

The lemur man picked up on Bojack's slight fault in the last word, with his hands pressing on his west as his voice faltered.

"You heaven't married her yet?

Bojack breathed in deep, both bewildered but almost wrought with unceritnity that came along with the wall fo emotion that swept over him.

"Why would I? She's a girlfriend. Just because you found someone to marry dosne't mean that I will, or that I should. And your advnertisement oif the lifestyle isn't one that I would triip over myself to call enticing."

His eyes turned down, and his fingers that were eased up into an open invitation began o ease back to his chest.

"Maybe you didn't go where I did. Not yet."

"Yeah. The lonneybin comparemtn seems to be petty much full right now." Bojack indicated his own exhausted and disgutnled face back over to the door. "Can we go now? Or should I get your wife that's so incredible at being able to pull you in and etch out this profound universe you're so certain about and have heer take you to some other better sex driven dimensio?"

The lemur shook his head, and the focus on his eyes seemed a sif they were only capable of half presence as his fingers cramped back into his palm. His head snapped upward, and Bojack grimanced in his own exasperation as he made his way to the lemur, hsi hands resting on the edge of the mattress as the glare of his eyes turned up to where the expanse of the own distance of the lemur's eyes were embedded.

"You wouldn't know it yet. Maybe I was wrong and it's not here-that energy. The way things should be; the way she showed me."

"Ok. I didn't want to have to do this, bu you're leaving me no choice."

Bojack grunted as he began to eas himself onto the mattress. His plump body curled onto the bed, his stomtahc spilling over to his lap as he eased himself into a scctuchend sitting position, settling for glaring his eyes upward from where the lemur was looking. Bojack's announce took the majority of his energy as his arms turned forward, grabbing the lemur by his waist.

The lemur's eyes widened as his body twisted under the sudden display of force form Bojack. His legs began to cripple as he was pushed downward, and Bojack's tense expresson only eased into a defiant squint as the insult on his face snapped upward and over to the swaing of the lemur and the sudden panic in his eyes.

"No-you don't get a say in this, Bojack; you don't know what you're doing. I was wrong, you're like everyone else-but the energy when I came in ehre, it dosen't make sense, my wife felt it too-"

Bojack's face grimanced as his teeth cramped while his own glaring eyes turned upward. The thrashing of the lemur man's legs only added to his aggravation, as well as his attempt at trying to keep his delocated energy even remotely downward.

"What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Bojack, I can't do it; I shouldn't do this, open up the expanse to that small cut your wife and you made until its time; but with the way that things are and always have been, soomehting living in the deep and edge truth and as things are rather than what you wish they were is the only thing to give relief, to mold and to find yourself-I can't let you go down there feeling the energy of this place and not making sure that you have the factual idea of what it is that you need. Where the center of yourself is drawn to, and what that looks like-the only way to peace is to follow that of which where our hearts so naturally are."

"I still don't know what you're saying. You do realize that you're talking to someone who dosen't know what you're talking about and has made it astoundingly and incredibly clear?"

The lemur man's body continued to snap and twist into the clear wave of emotional compaciy that overame him. He eased his body fornward, as if melting, into Bojack's embrace, enough so that Bojack could feel the guilt pour over him as he sw the trembling that gave away how tightly he had kept the man into his arm;s embrace. His arms eased back, guilt occupying his eyes as the lemur man trembled. His stout fingers found his palms, wet eyes guided into his melhcolic apology as his expression eased downward into apology.

"Hey, man, look-I'm sorry. I just don't want you succumbing to side affects of your meth addciton while people like the ones tonight are coming are here. I know what they're like, and it'll be pretty bad-"

"God, love, forgive me!"

Boajck's eyes widened as he saw the flash of the lemur's hand flashed out over to the top of Bojack's snout, right where the white diamond lied. In the expanse of the space where there was nothing but a trembling, sweating palm did Bojack only feel a resoudnign announce to him. His eyebrows lwoered down as he reached out his hand to snap away the man's trembling palm, his eyes harded as his palms slammed onto his wrist.

"I don't know what you think you're doing-"

"I'll stay with you, sweetheart, but I can't stay away from this-he needs to know!'

The lemur mans' voice was rasing into a haunting crack; it was enough that it made Bojack feel a sudden onslaught of his own self consciousness as his eyes widened while he snapped his way over to the stagnce of the open, yellow lit door. His head snapped back o the lemur, the muscles on his face encased into a trembling exhaust of tense emotion.

"Hey, man, I just wanted us to come to terms with how things are, ok? We don't need any-"

There was a sudden onslaught of a feeling of being carried upward; Bojack could feel the sudden expansion of a movement that seemd especially demeaning. His breath twisted out into an onslaught of a sudden panicked emotion as his head snapped up; around him was there the look of several galactic stars surrounding him, speeding past him in their incessant movement not unlike a highway of that of which was surorned his senses, seeming more detached from any coherent sense than they ere of anything grounded. His head snapped up, eyes wide into the expanse of the feeling of being pulled into an expanse of cocniosuness in front of him; he tried to breath out into an exhaust of fight, but there was a surreality of such compact human experience and emotion that flowed past and through him thgat he fel both grounded and torn from the spot at once.

The lemur was gone, as well as the grounding of the mundnanity of the grey bedroom; save for a fmaialir look of a curve of a face that had spent a number of nights now with their gudidning on his cheek in intimacy. He felt the reflection of his snout, breath and whsikey laden while he lied next to you wiht hands eased onto the side of his love handles, sheets entanegeld; but in the surrelity around him now did it feel like it was the only core essence of what he could cling onto, and there was a subconscious knowing that the only reason why he ws cenetred was becuase of the softness of that known.

Neon lights of what made up the silhouettes of bodies expansing through the surreal and ever passing exapsne of the galaxy threaded in front of his eyes, though the only noise that met Bojack's senses was the senses of his own lathored breathing. There looks of sevrla bodies that were busy with the bsutle of their lives, the expanse of one man having his ahdn on the back of a women;s hip of what he loved; the look of a woman twsitng in her boulder and large expanse of breaks and hip while she strolled her baby, the slappin of one man of another, the mudnanity of conversations between friends. Feeling human no longer had any sense of genuine grounding even in the the most cynical and unwanted mundane fashion as a ll of Bojack;s grounding within himself began to lose its rhythm the more the lives of the neon lights that cut through the space began to flash against his eyes; every one h got a glimpse of the profound spiritual grounding that cam from he lfie of each one, and a despair of black once they were passed by, not unlike every desprate wrought of hope of belief that he ahd ever given any affair or woamn that had left a just as equally empty pause at the end of it.

As if epanded from something that was leaving the neon bodies of their lives and the thrown extension of the way they were intercoected, they were all becoming increasingly smaller; their bodies were beggining to bexome expande donto the contrast of increased smallness as every single life began to occupy the rest of the expans eof what was otherwise empty space until there were so may that they were speckled into theirlives, all of whichw ere impossibly rich with the complexity of human life, and in their palace was the entagelentn of what was a web of the complcoaiton of human life. Had there been noise, it was have been overwhelming to a paralyzing degree;; as it was, it was only a muted kind of profound overwhelming beauty, though one that was compact in its demand, and there was a change of what made up Bojack's perception as he took it in.

Something that seemed not entirely unlike a force thrusted against Bojack's snout, and his preceptionw as thrusted into a direction that was upward. There was a profound nostgtila of the complexity of what made up the emotions of a human life and inner journey that hit him as even that action occured; not unlike the expanse of the endless possibility of the bodies in front of him, but with the inner life that made up any journey that was profound with mundnaity, failure, cleevration, love and loss as much as what made up any life, and tot ake it in to its full compelcity was more than Bojack could stand to take as the compact feeling demanded his attention. His head snapped up as he took in what was the essence of that sentiment, though this time it was att he core of who he was as he eased his hea dup towards a light; there was his silhouette that rested on the white space that expanded in front of his eyes, and both relief and that compact feeling of being overwhelmed took him. A race of a life overcam and flew over his eyes; one of such a incredible complex emotional joruney that to ahve it flow through him was more than he could take as it passed by the expansion of his cocniousness as much as it had the room to in the web of the liveres that interbbed and demanded in front of him; but for him at his core, the simplicity of taking a daughter's hand and of your iniamicty against his shoulder, treated and seen as the most precious sentiment of a person both body and in heart alike, wear and the specific modl of his body that didn't fit conventional standards combined as he felt th washed of the emotions and the imnagry overcome him; in the sea of that of which overcame him, it was that what grounded him, and not only was it enough, but it was more than he knew what to do with in how incessantly profound and rich it flowed through him.

Sickly relief swept through him, but there was the sudden wisp of an escapade of something leaving, a turn of a sudden tide and a reminder of how little rule there was to life, whthr good or bad; the sudden insight of his own siolluete and the chubbiness of his aged cheeks and the haunting of his eys that were sr tinto it beginning to fade. Bojack, as much as he was able to in his preconception of himself, fel a sudan onlsought of a despration come over him as he saw his own diapirning eyes that sat heavy in his own worn face began to fade from his vision entirely, and along with it the sudden look of a black empty settlement that made upo his eyes, black trialing under them as much as the expanse of the energy o life began to leave him; the richness of the meaning that was behind the sentiment and the core of anything that mtetred and the profound purpose finally met that was so wonderful it ws dizzying in a world bent of giving the opposite; the more he saw how his face tuned and began to be sept away into the indifferen tliught the more his panic overcame him, until he was aware of the panic breathing of his labored breath that demeaded from his senses as he began to see the subcicnious grey wall of that of hwih waited on the other side of the expanse of the space in front of him, the suffocating indifferent meeting around his senses again.

"God! Ta!" Bojack's voice trembled out into an awkward and clumsy shout, his own plump body spilling knot the ground as he body fell forward from where he could now feel the strain of the white bedsheets. His body fell back, the grsp of the sheets firmly splayed around his hips as he was eased downward and onto the floor, the bottom of his snout slammed onto the grey ground as his face encased into a twist whil eh felt the force of the fall knock him onto the ground. He opened up his own dry and tired eyes as he ws met with demanding ringing in his ears that ws met with his eyes squinted as he saw the foggy blur of that which was surrounding him as his eyes encased open.

He coughed, his body raised up into a low rasped groan only he could manage. With hands and arms that had long since surprised numbness did he begin to ease himself off from the floor, his eyes squinted as his breath panted while he tried to come back to himself and the onslaught of the dry of his throat, rhythm of breathing hiccuping through his gasps as he collected himself as much as his disscoared mind and the limp of his body would grant.

The sounds of the lemur's feet racing as they ponded onto the ground was what brought Bojac out od his trance, though it was far less forgviving than the natural way of coming out of his trance; his visin was still double and blurry, his head pounding from the force as he slapped out his hand and forced it on the balcony, plump body rasiing up as his hand reached onto his knee as he began to lifted himself up. His mind was far frm clear, but he had just enough of a sense that ssurounde dhim to see the lemur rushing his way out the door, and the sudden demand through the pounding of Bojack's head and emotional senses the same that overcame himm as he forced the axche of his body and the disoritnaiton of his mind to spell upward as he eased himself into a standing position.

"Hey! Hey!"

Bojack's voice was clumsy and off as he began to to trip over his feet and over to the door, his body abrutplty jamming against it as his arms splayed onto the door while he clumsily tripped himself out. The lemur man's feet were seen just as he rushed his way over from the corner of the hallway and rushed down the steps; Bojack's own desrpae dry breath cracked as he eased his body away from the door and stumbled over his feet while his clumsy voice trialed out in desaprion.

"Hey, you don't get to do that and walk away!"

Bojack tripped over the sheet that rested on his feet, tripping over the white sheet on his feet as he stumbled his way into the hallway.

"Hey-hey! You don't get to stat all that and then try to change your mind about it last minute! Get back here!?"

The brath was knocked out of him as he tripped over his feet and stumbled his way out of the door, white sheet ghosting away from his hips as it eased onto the floor while he barely caught his own stumbling form otno the wall beside him, breath knocked out as he clumsily stumbled his way through the stagnant lit hallway, the only thing accompanying his body being the leftover white sheet falling onto his feet and his patterned apple underwear. He only stopped when the last remaining sheet feel past his shoulder and stumbled ontot h ground, causing himt o trip just as he ws about to make his way downstairs. His hand slammed onto the wall, body turned forward as his other hand caught onto his knee, his eyes enticed into emotional exhust as his plump body eased forward while he tried to catch himself through the disoenited fog and the demand of his broken mind as his labored breathing eased forward.

The lemur man was easing his body down the stairs, his step stumbling and giving away the ease of his step, still shaken into what suggested a vague discomfort, but for the most part he seemed like he was collecting himself badck into a coherent and understnabale mundanity and pulled together disposition. Bojack's eyes squinted as he blinked frantcailly and tried to ease his own blurred double vision as much as he was able to from the vivid imagery that had spoiled in the front of his eyes. His expression squinted into a timid exhaust that met the puffy baggy under his eyes, hands spoiled into a sweat and his hands grasping onto the side of the walls while he tried to see past the flashes of neon white, the only thing that offered him any sign of what he had just seen other than the abusive leftover feeling of abuse that dressed around his body and trembling disposition.

"Hey! Don't go back down there after that-hey!"

Bojack's hand slammed onto the corner of the wall beside him, breathing heeaviily as his eyes snapped back down to the stairs, ears flicked back as the plumo of his body settled for his abrasive pating. His back was leaned forward while his eyes squinted into a point sickliess, rtaspy hiccuped breath easing into his senses as he tried to keep himself as upright as much as he was able to while wiping his wrist agaisntt the front of his forehead, wrist wiping against the side of his forehead while his feet stumbled onto the stairs.

"Hey-man, please. You have no idea what that felt like-"

Bojack's voice cracked as he continued to stumble his way down the steps, seeing double vision in his eyes as he stumbled down the grey stairs, hand the only thing that was able to catch him against the grey walls. His breathing increased in its own disorientation while his stout legs tripped over themselves and down the steps. The lemur man paused, his body that as raised up inot an extensive amount of dignity in somparsion to Bojack's sweating, stumbling body seeming one that was of a different man entirely compared to the distant foggy eyed wonder that had been the man's eyes when he had been easing and caressing his hand otno th ematress a moment ago. His head snapped around and over to Bojack, and the action was just enough of an abrupt movement that it caused Bojack to give an abrupt yell as he body tripped backward, stumbling over his feet as his back slammed onto the stairs.

"Oh, Christ!" His teeth jammed together, bretahin in as the muscles on his face tensed. His hand reached back as he tried to ease his body up from the hard egde of the staircase. One eye opened from the flair of his eyes as the grimance on his expression didn't lesson as he opened one glaring eye and turned it up to the lemur man, who was making a few paces up the steps as his wide, unreadable eyes began to raise their way back up the steps again. "You couldn't have made the transition a little smoother from showing me whatever you called that to going down to a wine and fuck party?'

The lemur man began to pace himself up the steps until he was only a few paces away from where Bojack had fallen back. He eased his body downward, wide eyes meeting against Bojack, who visibly winced as he felt the whiskey breath of the lemur's breath against his face.

"Can I help you up?"

Bojack took a dry breath as his eyes snapped up to him. The lemur neither reached out or offered his hand, but settled for standing in front of him with his grey hands eased against his palm.

"Seriously?" Bojack tried to ease his body upward, his wet eyes drying as he back jammed back down onto the stairs again, causing another pathetic glint of helplessness in his eyes. "You took me on a crack addled trip-" His had waved in a circle as his eyes snapped while he looked in front of him with a flare. "And your only reaction is for me to go downstairs and collect myself like it didn't just happen?"

The lemur's eyes widened into something that seemed caught off guard. His head turned over his shoulder as he eased his eyes down to the stagnant light of the yellow sweep coming from downstairs.

"I know that this is a party where we can all have fun, let loose a little bit, but I don't think you want them hearing what dementia riddled headspace that you started acquiring right before the part." He blinked, Bojack's eyes still closed and panting as his expresson still stay twisted inot his own exhausted insult. His eyes snapped open as they eased up to the lemur.

"What are you talking about? You're the one that grabbed me and then took me onto whatever meth brand that you think is cute!" His voice cracked as it threaded into the air and hung there as he continued to breath heavily and tried to ease the ache of his body off of the back of the stairs, still grimiancing as he tried to erase his back off of the edge of where his back had landed. "You don't get to step back and then talk to me like I'm the freak, asshole!"

The lemur man sighed, his grey hand crossed against the front of his shirt. With a tremor of a shake of his hand did he begin to ease his palm forward for Bojack to take. Bojack's teeth poked out as his eyes went wide looking at the offer; the flare of his eyes increased as his squinted exhaust turned upward while he continued to pant heavily.

"Bojack, I know that we've had some trying times and we don't necessarily like each other. No one really can when we're made to lose all genuine morals to survive here in this city-anywhere, really. But you invited my wife and I here, and I think it's in our best interest to go downstairs and see what we can give ourselves for the night. What kind of peace we can come up with. At least for one night." He wiggled up a thin, black furried eyebrow as his expresson twsited into that teasing, almost slimey chlalnege he had used to give Bojack on dinners ou on the production team of a movie that had ultimately never seen the time of day. "We brought our booze, our alcohol, our cocaine, even, didn't we? I can't see what would be the downside of trying to break down walls and seeing what peace we can give ourselves, at least for one night. My wife agrees that this is a better idea than the usual cold alternative."

Bojack was only now just managing to catch his breath, his eyes turned down to the reached out hand while the last of his timid breath and rapsy whimpers left his lip. His eyes turned up to the hand, his expression defiant, and he reached out and eased his hand that was drenched in his own layer of sweat onto the hand, wincing as his body was raised forward. His other hand flew to the middle of his back, hand massaging against the ache as he was stumbled back into a sitting position. His squinted eyes turned to the lemur man, who stepped back a few paces a shis hand ghosted out of Bojack's palm.

"You really want to play this game of pretnending like you weren't just the weird one upstairs?"

The lemur laughed, though there was genuine discomrot in his eyes as the wet light of the reflected against Bojack as he eased himself into a straightened psootion, though his back was still leaning forward into an awkward curve, his breath stll panting, as his stomtahc eased forward knot his lap. A slight glare of annoyne was the only thing that broke up his timid exhaust as his eyes turned up to the lemur.

"Bojack, I know you're a head start on being delusional and drunk with whiksey and whatevr else your wife and plaything upstairs made you."

Bojack's ears shot back. "She's not a plaything, man.:"

"Right. Of course." His hands raised up as he gave a wave of them, flash of apology but mostly an odd pity in his expression as Bojack's flare raised up to the lemur. "I'm sure you're tyring to figure things out. Who knows, maybe it'll be even better than my wife and I. Your cynical judgemental o the majority despite being a part of has shown extensive wonders for maybe not separating yourself from the qualities of others, but it certainly has for helping you to push away distractions enough to finally commit to a partner."

"Your wife and you just came in and you showed me-" Bojack's breath caught off, and it eas only the rhythm of his hand rubbing on the ache of his back that gave him any genuine sense of comfort. "I don't know what you showed me. That's why I'm stumbling out spewing out your name like an idiot tyring to figure it out since you had such a helpful response by leaving as soon as I started to come back from whatever adrug trip you took me on."

The lemur man stepped back, flash in his eyes that as unreadable as he stepped back and onto the steps. His hand eased onto Bojack's wrist, and his eyes flashed downward as he abruptly stuck his hand away. The lemur turned his eys over him, and Bojack eased his hands onto his chest as his eyes settled for looking down. A timid down painted over his expression as the frown overcame his face.

"I don't-" Bojack paused as he took an ease of a breath. "You seriously don't remember anything that happened just now?"

The lemur man's eyes flciekd over Bojack's uncertain expresssion, and Bojack's hands rested onto his stomach as his eyes turned downward in his natural apology.

"Get some extra rest after tonight, Bojack. Maybe take an extra adderal or whatever anyone you age takes-"

"It's mainly just stroke pills." Bojack's fingertips eased onto his wrist, and for whatever emotional wall of doubt that had just come over Bojack of his own trist of himself, he didn;t try to turn it towards the lemur man. His voice was blunt, but the tenderness that came along with the self doubt was just as resoundly evident. "That's mainly it."

The lemur's eyes dimmed into a deep sympathy, and had Bojack not already been so drenched into a sudden guide of doubt, he would have loathed it. As it was, it was almost comforting compared to the sudden doubt that flared over the compassion of Bojack's already muddled uncertainty. Bojack took another ease of a timidn breath as his eyes eased down, the tension on his eyebrows increased as the muscles on his expression graduated from confidence to now a gradual decreased of a sew of muddled conflict. The lemur man's lips rasied up as his hand eased onto Bojack's shoulder, cautiously, and just firmly enough that Bojack felt himself switch back into an animalsitic defiance as his hands raised up while he looked over the man in his wide timid apology.

"Take it easya after tonight, Bojack. I know dementia ran in your family."

"Uh-yeah, it did. But not in a sudden spell and feeling like-" He paused as he remembered the compact complication of the neon lives that had been in front of him, though they had been more of a execudtion of energy more than they had been anything that was of genuine preparation, and the compact human emotions in them still felt as burned into his eyes and mind ashe felt how they flashed across his eyes. His eyes flashed up as he flicked his expression to the lemur. "You remember. You said it was a huge compact humanity and that you couldn't believe or even fathom what you saw. You're telling me that that's all just a massive question mark for you now?"

"Bojack-" The lemur's head snapped over his shoulder. Bojack's expression tensed as he panted while he tired to pull himself back together in the last remaining panic that flowed through him. "I know that it's not easy being in this business. I was lucky to find someone to keep me grounded, and I can only hope that woman ends up being that for you. I know that its hard to find our human and humble peace in a city, species in general, who thinks worth only comes from attention and money and whatever other outward measurement, but the peace of finding the person or the thing that will allow you to fin that genuine human rest everyone craves will be what saves you."

"Yeah." Bojack's voice was edged as he offered him a glare, puffy aged eyelids lowers as the pout eased over his expression. "The same one that you had no problem using as your plot pawn of the cute story that you came up with just now."

The lemur man's eyes blinked as an alert came in his eyes. "My wife?"

"Oh, don't do that." Bojack's voice edged out violently as he waved his hand half clumsily, half with announce while he flashed his hand in front of him. "You came up and told me that she was your entrance into the overall scope of huamnity. Which is pretty corny, but you made me listen to it, and then took me on some cocaine ride?" The lemur man tried to step on the stairs, but Bojack flashed a hand out and gripped it on his shoulders. The lemur let out a breath as he wwas forced back over to the pout on Bojack's face, guided into announce as he watched him with a pouted glare.

"Noit a great time to try and change your mind on the things you say now, huh? Now that someone wants to talk to you about it?"

The lemur man paused, and his mouth was agape with exhaust as his eyes flciekd up to Bojack. He turned his head down, tilting it down into a nod as he began to ease his body down the steps, first towards Bojack, and then with his hand gripping onto the rails, only offering a few snaps of his head over his shoulder with the fear still encased on his eyes.

"Get help, Bojack. Don't drag that woman into this. Don't make another mistake. I don't know if you're doing this because you laced your whiskey or whatever other idea you came up with tonight to tyr and escape yourself, but you attracted a good woman. Keep tha with you."

"No. You don't get to say that to me." Bojack tried to trip the stairs, a grimance on his features ashe tripped over them with the glare on his expression-he abruptly paused as the ache on his back flashed through him and the sudden neon flashed tripped though his eyes. "Goddammit-"

Bojack only just managed to catch his hands onto the rail as the abraisve breath of his rapsy lip left his mouth, hands jamming onto the rail as he caught himself abruptly. He turned his blurr vision and neon lights that flashed agsaisnt his vision that already came across as a particularly bad bount of being hungover. He paused as his hand flashed over to his stomach, feeling the plush bloat of his chubby stomach easing onto his hand while he felt s sicklines come over him. As he panted and heard nothing but the booming of the stagnant light that was trailing from downstairs and the booming of the increased sounds of doors opening and voices and talk easing their way through their conversation that raised into the air that was already becoming increasingly more loud and uncertain in the way that Bojack had always loathed about other people and parties, if not for the fact that there was already an increased lack of trust that demanded and threaded around it by default, he could feel a sudden scent of strong whisky that passed over his expression. His eyes widned as he felt the smell of it ease over his senses, and with a sharp swear did he begnt o trip his way back up the stairs, swearing as he did so while he tripped his way up the steps with his chubby hand rested onto the curve of his panting plump stomach. As his hand leaned onto the grey wall beside him while he tried to lift his ebay up the steps, the noise increased, right along with all the superfiifcal cloned noise that made up people tha had lost their own strength of inviiduality a long time ago that Bojack had long since found a bond in you with.

The lemur man's words hollowed in his ears as he tried to collect his already alcohol busted body while he began to trip his wya in his timid and uncertain fashion through the space of the cluttered masterbedroom. The room couldn't have felt more duatnt and detached from the increased booming of the loud noise of confident and seeming soothing within themselves people that had always occupied parities that Bojack had always felt hardly disconnected from. His raspy breath and the delicate whimpers that came from his macluine tone only increased in its desperation as he amde his way adross the bedroom, hands eased onto the various clothes thrown onto the floor and the various bedsheets. His teeth poked out as his wide eyes turned up the ceiling, hands rested onto the wrinkled mattress as he felt his wide and helpless innocent strewn eyes turn up to the grey ceiling in front of him. He felt a hollowing sens eof anxiety come over him at the sight of it, and he felt the way he trembled as he took it in, but his head shook as easily as it had come over him when nothing met that dreaded feeling except for the mundnaity of the grye ceiling.

Cool it, Bojack. You drank too much. And did whatever else that you could have done to make yourself the most dumb untrustworthy and boring shit in the entire room so much to the point that you don't even know, dumbass. The guy said it himself, and with the way things are you with you know the annoying ass is right.

He shok his head as his ears tipped into a bounce of the action, lips pressing together as he guided his hands onto the sheets and began to throw them against the mattress. The rest of the clothes that had been pulled off of his body was met by his hand that trmebled as he reached forward and grabbed them inot his palm, easing them against his chest as he made his way to the grey wardrobe and thre them in. The words of the lemur man, but more notable the image and the senestionless feeling that had overcome him being caught up in the center of it didn't leave his mind's yes as he kept himself busy around the room whale he abruptly reached for a white shirt that didn't have the stains that came along with touching eeach other's bodies or the film of sweat that occurd over his chubby branwy skin while your lips and teeth had caressed and touched against his shoulder and skin with your tender intimacy that felt just as painful asit had been waited for.

His hand trembled knot the chippings that was from the habit of scratching on the side of his neck as he eased is fingertips against his neck while soothing down the shirt. His aggravation was increasing as he heard the noise coming from downstairs, and as he mudnanity and the groundong of the bedroom contuiend to pass by him while he made his way frnatciuallly with his feet tripping over himself and his fingertips scratching against his wrist with his thought chaotic and his swears eeased under his own words from his breath did he begin to feel the majority of the surrelaity ease away into something that had been more of a trip of a dream rather thana anything that had actually occurred. As he finished placing fandcy but still casual pants onto his legs, the innet abraisve lack of belief increased.

Of course it was just a drug trip. You probablly laced the cocaine into it and forgot, stupid dumbass. You always know how to make sure you do the most destrcuive and infucntional thing and the worst possible moment.

The ringing was increasing in his ears right along with the extension of his increased panic and inner self doubt. He raised his body upward as he was finally firmly dressed, the drunken sicklineess of both senses and in front of his eyes increasing into a sense of defeat as he found himself exhausted by the inner figt of his own doubt. He turned his puffy laden eyes over to the clock; only about a half hour had passed, and not nearly enough time compared to what Bojack knew from experience of what it looked like to have a bladckout and lose logn abrasive chunks of his life.

As the image of the several neon bodies began to ease away entirey into somehting that felt more like a back of a memory or a bad dream, and as the usual unforgiving chaotic thoughts increased to something that was abrasive invaldiaoton until they settled into their usual subicnious smaller slews that occupied him throughout the day, he began to feel more worried about the way you had left him morethan he was about anything that he had or hadn't experienced. His handa eased knot the side of his neck, eyes closed as he began especially aware of the swear on his face. The exhaust on his expression increased as he turned his head upward and began to walk his way over to the crack of the open door, reading his hands onto the stagnant light. He was drunk enough that he was barely aware of anything other than the blur of the walls and the double vision that occupied his eyes a he eased his palms forward, trying to stay as upright a smooch as he was able to as he began to walk his way out from the cracked open bedroom.

He closed his eyes, taking in a deepend breath as he did so as his easeed his hands onto his shirt and onto the pants that followed. His squinted eyes turned as he looked back over to the door, hands encasing down onto his palms as he felt an odd emabressemet fo over him. Tha fact that you had left him to it in what seemed like a sudden possession of your own uncertain emotions was enough to make him feel something that was more powerful than any abrasive induced trip he thought ht had been on. There had been the slight ease of the trembling of you hand agaisn his back tha he knew for a fact he would bever bother being aware of unless it was you; anyone other woman and the details of them had otonlly surprised his interest, but there had never been much to take in or observe to begin with. The way your hands had trembled across his back while the unceninty of your hands had eased away frim had spoke onf you an intense conflict between the deisre to be by him but the degree of a sudden desperation to be gone. It had been a contradiction he had felt the second you had eased your hand against his own, and it was hat conflict that caused more thhan just the uneerinity thatthreaded through his body now to a sickening degree that he knew at least partly came from more than just overdirnking and whatevr evident impulsive drug he ahd taken to ease his tiind sense of the crowd in front of him.

His hand eased onto the wall, and he took a rasped breath as his own dry eyes turned downward and over to the steps, His eys were dry and melancholic even as his heart thudded; he began to step his way forward, his balance finally regained as he heard the sweep of the crowd executing over from its dense cheerful raise, the loudnes of glasses and the smell of champagne and other alhcocl induced senses already causing him to wince while he walked his way down the grye steps.

"Bojack!"

Bojack grunted as his body eased into the party that surrounded his blurry expresson. He jumped as he felt a slender arm ease onto his shoulders, fesr encasing over his eys for a moment as his hand snapped up timdly while his eyes wiended.

A woman with bleu eye shadow tha was drunkenly smeared across her expression puckered her lip up, red smeared across her face as he gave him a teasing inaimity agaisnt the glimmer oof her drunken and flacccid eyes that Bojack knew all too well.

Bojack raised up a hand in the want of being stood off as he offered her an awkward grin, flashed out from his teeth timidnly as his eyebrows raised into his own attempt of a vaguely durken quirk of pulling away. He ducked down from her arms as he stepped backward with his hands raied up.

"Hey." His under eyelids winced as he pointed at her awkwardly. "Alana from the production team that never became a thing, right?"

The woman laughed, blonde strands of hair sticking into the smeared red of her lip and enough to make Bojack wince in an odd disgust as he took her in.

"That's cute. We're starting to the guessing games already!" Her body swayed over to Bojack, who winced as his body was grazed by her durken arm as it met up against the sway of her eyes. "I knew you had it in you!"

Bojack's eyes flicked as he kept his body pulled bak, eyes dilated as hgazed in front of him and tried to see through the blurry fog that made up the bodies in front of his druken eyes.

"I actually just came down here to try and find my part-"

"Let's have a goodman party!"

She waved her arms up, and the action was abrupt enough that it caused Bojack's eyes to widen as he stepped back and tripped over his feet. The durken woman began to stumble her way over to the rest of the party, her cut over and strung up velvet dress falling over her body as she began to trip over into the crowd with her hand wwaved up. Bojack's face was twisted into his timid anticipation as his fearful eyes threaded over the crowd, fingertips encased onto his palm as he felt the whimper in his perception overcome him as his eyes threaded oever through the durken and easily amused crwd; some seemed weel amused enough, some already spilled over ontot he couch with either their lips crashed onto another or their hands and arms eased against each other and through the rekindlement of their bodies. Bojack's hands kept akardly by his chest into an awkward paralziaiton as his wide, sickly eyes threaded around the crowd as he began to shoulder his way inward.

Bojack have a breath, his eeys turned up into their own drunken exhust as he began to walk his way over and through the crowd. He tripped a she began to sway his way through the crowd and the durken movement sof the people surrounding the now stagnant lit living room, now renderned just as soulless and as forgettable as much as it had ever been when matched again the prescend eof other people Bojakc didn't know and that only served to amke him nervous more thna they did of anything that wa sof genuine comfort or of even coenction. He eased his body down into a bent as several bottles were messily passed from one person to another, his head dudckign under the array of limbs entnageled through one another and bodies and handas easing into their own indulegnt heaven that caused Boajck to feel an even further both disgsit and need to find you thna he had already.

"Bojack. I knew I would find you here, you washed up mysterious scum. How long has it been since we were able to connect toe to toe? A few months?"

Boajck turned his eyes upward, giving a jaded exasperated breath as he ehard that same technical and matter of fact soulless voice that was now easing up into the otherwise nosielss chatty that was eased up and into the crowd. Lenny Turteltab was threading his way through the sweaty and eased toegtehr, easily amused and durken bodies, and Bojack's only solace in seeing Lenny was seeing the sentiment of his own worn and durken eased over face on his expression while Lenny walked his way through the threaded and already ou,d crowd, air dense witht heir voice raised up as their limbs adn array of hands and limbs continued toi spoil up the extension of the living room space.

"Hey, Lenny." Bojack ducked as he eyes widned when he ehrd the sudden crash of a glass; he turned his had around as he snapped and saw several stains and glass tossed onto the window. His dry eyes increased in their stoic indifference as his eys turned badck over to Lenny. "How the hell are you, buddy?"

Lenny waved his wrinkled hand. "Dont' give me that, Bojack. I knew this place is a smooch bullshit for you as much as it is for me. I jst cam over here to try and talk to you a bt, ge you out of your head from this dese skin induced sweating goddamn place."

Bojack's worried, wet and naturally tender eye srasied up into their own troubling nature as his pouted uncertain eys raised up while he chase his worried expression around the room. "I don't even know who half of these people are." His eys winced as his expression turned down to lenny's own unimpressed stoic dry eyes. "I'm guessing that you're not ehre for the amazing ambivalence or the party yourself."'

Lenny shrugged. "I figured I could make it a time. Got a new girlfriend, tried some shit out in bed, enjoyed things outisdde of the bedroom-"

"Wait-" Bojack waved his hands in front of him as his eyes closed. "You got a girlfriend?"

Lenny blinked, slowly, unimpressed in the same dry sentiment Bojack approached with most things. "That's right, yes."

"And you thought it would be a good idea to bring her into a hookup space filled with these-" His eyes turned over to the dancing bodies, their heads lifted up into their uncare as their bodies and arms waved ito the stagnce. There was the slight sound of booming that came from behind that was easing into the atmopehre and aggravating Bojack's already further extension of aggravation ans feeling the natural age he carried. "-Crackheads." His eyes lowered as he snapped his head over to Lenny. He gave a shrug of his shoulders as his eyes eased forward into the crowd.

"I wanted to try something new." Hr raised his wrinkled hand that had itself wrapped around his alcohol staind glass around his hands and lifted it up to Bojack. "I also wanted to see what the new jaded jackass was doing with his newest prey of a woman. I mean, seriously, the goddamn girl dosen't even seem to know less thhan half of what she's getting into. It's like you took the mot unknowing and careless thing and trappd her. It's almost pathetic, if it wasn't so entertaining and something to do as an excuse to being along my girl to distract her from actually having to know me. I've been seeing her for about six months, and less than hafl of them have been with her in any wya that matters, and I think that's something I need to keep with me."

"You saw my wif-my partner?" Bojack's eyes widned as he stammered, and his head snapped over to the moving crowd. "Thank god-that means that she didn't just leave after I took all that coaine!"

Lenny's dry eyes tuned back ove to Bojack, as stoic and as unimpressed as ever. "I know I shouldn't be surprised, but you did what now?"

"Where is she?" Bojack's eys threaded into his somewhat innocence,t manchild excitement even as his fingers continued to thread frantically against his wrist. "I need to talk to her."

Lenny shurgegd. "She must be the one with the wide, fearful eyes and the dimmed over 'please don't hurt me expression'. I don't know what you did to her, Bojack, but whatevr it is, you need to at least let the poor girl doen easy, you got me?"

"I didn't do-anything." The crack in his voice gave away to his own doubt; Lenny raised up a brow as his eyes turned over him in his own dry unremarkability. He turned his eyes back to the crowd, as unrepsosnive to what was around him as Bojack tried to be, through hi natural way of having that natural zest in his disotiion always came outt, such as the clench of his teeth and the worry wear on his timid face now hat gave across profound desprte emotion. "I do want and need to see her to amke sure that's..I don't oik, after whatevr happened up there."

"After whatever happened up there?" Lenny's stoic face raised up into a sudden laugh, his mouth raised into amusement as Bojack's own flard eyes turned back down to him ith his own puffy eyed flare. "Christ, Bojack, if this is what it looks like for you to try, save it for the rest of thes woman that will be too clocked out to know what hit them by the end of the night."

Bojack's jaded, natural sohicpated grace only eased further into exhaust as his head snapped over to him. "I don't want to do any of that."

"You will. Couple more drinks and your natural nature will come out for the night."

"I seriously don't-"

"If tonight is tonight to be an ass, its tonight. These woman are so clocked out that they won't know what hit them for the rest of the ight. You may as wekk take advantage-and you will, and maybe you should, sad eyes."

Bojack's expression was adapted into an even further hardened, but utleitley trouble expression as his eyes eased and dilated into his own insult and inner conflict. He let otu an insulted breeaht and timid jump as Leny eased his shoulder against Bojack, his dry eyes turning up to a sudden break that made up the senseless movement of the crowd.

"Looks like your precious bride meat piece is over there. Looks like you also already gave her a terrible time." His dry eyes rasid up, a shake of his head. "Best of luck in your hero arc. I'll be sure to keep in mind this new complex since you can't seem to do anything unless its where your mind is at."

"Yes. Ok. Thanks for that." Bojack rubbed his arm as the glare in his eyes-renderd as almost helplessly boyish from just how much there was a natural childish insult to them, and the puffiness of his own eyes and deep wrinkles on his expression that gave aay countless impulsive and sleepless nights and his lack of care of wha he needed. "Why don't you go find me that amazing girlfriend you're so confident about me leave some of us the hell alone?"

Lenny sighed, his eyes turnin down to his drink and the melcocohy easing out from his disntact exhaust of an expression. He turned the whsikey in his glass.

"Look, pal, 'm trying to let you know from the years I've known you-don't bother trying to find a home in something that's not made for you.

The bottom of the puffiness of Bojack's eys winced. "What?"

A practicality of what seemed like bored, jaded stoticnes eased onto Turletop's eyes. "I'm only saying, it seems llike you're sudden now trying to find a home in happiness. You're going to feel out of place and uncmofrtable, and that's going to be the real worst feeing in the world. Take it from what I got and from what I've seen stay where you were meant to, Bojack. Unhappiness is a comfortable home for some, and leaving it is only going to destory you even further." He raised his hand over to the crowd as he indicated his way over to where you were; all of the anger and impatience Bojack had been feeling a second ago fell away as he saw the genuine look of discomfort in your face as the rede of your edge uncertain eyes eased through the crowd, a sleepdress in its grey comfortable but natural grace of an aurora that Bojack didn't quite posses in the same way thaht drew his attention easing over to your body as he felt the alterntess overcoming his face while his ears perked up and eys widned. His fingertips found their wya by his wrist as he began to shove his way through the crowd, uncaring towards Lenny's sudden laughter or the swears bellowed in his direction.

He rached out his hand and snapped it knot your wrist, face encased into an emotionally intelligent tremor as his hand reached onto yoru wrist. You snapped around as you turned while you jumped; Bojack raised up a hand in an attempt of apology as his own head turned back, teeth poked as his sears flew backward.

"Whoa, hey, hey it's ok. I just wanted to check on you. I didn't know what…what happened with that freak back up there."

His words were uncertain as much as the desetion for the wamrt sense of home that you gave him so naturally was. You looked as if you had been crying, the red of your eyes from more than either weed or alchol. Bojack's own tension from his own discomfort began to relax ashe instead began to focus on your own.

"Are you…ok?"

His ears lowered back and the timid question that left his lips seemed guaranteed to have no answer from the doubt trembled in the wet of your eyes, your lips puckered and rended even further red as your eyes tunned down and saw his palm grasp on your wrist. Bojack flew his hand away, easing his palm onto his chest as his plump body guided the entire narrative of a deeply regretful apology.

"I'm sorry." His always tender and sad apologetic eys turned up the the stairs. "About whatever happend up there."

Your eyes flicked as you gazed into his, and hen somehting broke on the melchcolny of your face. A slight laugh left your lips, one that was just as bitter as it was exhausted and beildwered and aving all of those emotions slew into one as Bojack looked at you in somber, almost chlish sad bewilderment.

"I guess if the world is going to ause you you may as well find a way to try and make something out of all the thoughts ans feelings it leave syou with."

Bojack's eyes wicked. "Wha?"

"I don't know what happened up there either. Just that it was strange, and uncomfortable, and I wanted to stay with yu to make it work and to show those people and whatever it ws they thought they were superior to but-" You paused, taking a breath, and Bojack's face looked especially more tender and chlish as his own inquisitive eys gazed over your body as your head turne donw.

"I can make it up to you." Bojack's voice eased into a tremble as your head raised up. "I don't know what happened but–I can try to make it better. If you want me to."

"You don't have to. I actually feel like I should have been the one to stay despite the terrible feelings-to show them. I don't know what, but it feels like I failed you." Your hands eased onto your arms as you looked downward, the flush on your cheeks increasing into a flushed red that grazed against your pale cheeks that was party rom emotion, partly from the flush of the alchol that you could tell you had consumed to keep the distraction od your emotions away from the embedded chaos of what had occurred upstairs.

Bojack's eys turned down into a heavily lidded, drunken softness that mathed his ownworn features and gave them an unconditional genre of lovability. He stepped forward, slightly more confident from your vulabability.

"You could never do that."

His own hand found his arm and your head snapped up, eyes gazing into his with that edge of red on your eyes. Bojac felt his face ease down as his own timid sympathy flashed over his expression as his wet eyes tuned down to your own air.

"Did you..have any clarity about what happened up there, at all?"

The question was spoken in Bojack's timid trembling exhaust of his own shyness to speak it, his wet sad eyes embedded further into the question of his own chaos. His vision and the general broken and blurry headspace of his own perception was offering him very little to any clarity as he saw the blur of your body easing up and into his own worn and desperate expression.

Your lips opened up, though the dense doubt that wwas in your eyes already reached the answer before you could properly even so much as speak a word. Bojack's head turned over his shoulder as his own worry, worse for wear wretched and doubtful eyes turned over his shoulder as he took in the spew of dancing and erratic bodies that flung around one another with their heads turned back int their own drunken celebration of their complacent lostness.

"I felt something. That was all. I didn't know if it was something I was meant to follow or even something I wanted to-but I felt put off for the time being."

"Yeah?" Bojack's eyebrows were raised up as he watched you with his expression twisted into his questioning doubt. Your eyes turned down, expression as distant and drenched as much as it had ever been as your body enfolded into itself.

"I think there's beliefs and some other intentions that are against whatever it is that we believe. Or whatever it was that I wanted to do with you up there."

Bojack's eyes turned down, as complicated and threasded into his own emotional fight and exhust as his eyes turned downward.

"What I felt up there-what I always do and have continued to feel despite whatever narrative or whatever else I tell myself to believe otherwise-" Bojack paused as an apology overcame his eyes a syour expression turned upward. They were graceful, full of a smooth softness and a jaded eded of exhaust and fight at once as your eyes turned upward to look at him with that vague jaded frown that he found so much comfort and allure in att the same time. "I know what you're talking about and I know the cycnaism of it, but that dosen't match what I feel whenever we get time together. What we get when we're together-it feels consistent, good. Strong. Whatevr happened up there, I know it was strong and demanding, but it wasn't you Tell me that whatever happened up there didn't matter.."

Your eyes flashed down, your hand guided against your arm as the graceful frown that came from a jaded exhaust overcame your features. Bojack's teeth poked out in his timid way as his own distant wet eyes, soulful as ever as they were full of doubt, romaned over you as his timid air came over his perception of the rich dynamic that esed and threaded, then came together between the two of you.

Bojack lifted up a hand tentivedly, no cause or movement behind the action as his expression poked out in shy question. Your eyes only turned up and although there was a new extent of bravery there, there ws just as much a weighted caution behind it.

"It was just a moment. It's an overwhelming night. I'm ot sure why I left. I just felt like I had to. It was one of those moments of weakness where I listnted more to someone else than myself."

Bojack let out a weak whimper, his eyes dilating in front of him as a chaotic uncertainty flashed in front of his eyes. His eys flashed while his teeth poked, and the expression on his face that was full of his fragile unceirntity was enough for you to step forward despite the obvious weak and drunken wall that you had been caught up in a second before. On instinct Bojack pulled back, the tension on his face increased as his eyes turned up in a hard defiance.

"It's ok." You said it with an edge of surprise as your expression flashed over his sunken form as his hands threaded onto his chest, ears lowered. His eyes snapped up, part in a sudden flash of annoyance, part in that fragility that you could tell had been struck from your words as his face crumped into annoyance. The flash of the mutile colors of the lights were flashing adross the already complicated array of his emotions and the reflection on it and his lips formed into a pout. "It was just a moment."

"Was it?" He stepped back, only a few paces, but just enough to execute a point right along with the tension of his expression. "Or is this going to be a thing every time some freak from my past comes around and introduces himself? Because there is a lot of them."

"Bojack, it was a panic decision. I knew you were nervous, I was too-"

"Right. Right." The pout on his expression didn't lesson, and it would have seemed immature and boyish had it not been for the worn look on his face that suggested emotional intellect and life maturirity. "I get that."

The burying of your own exhausted emotions increased as you stepped forward, and though he felt the familiar pattern of his disgust towards the superficiality that haunted him that he knew so well in regards to relationships and his recognition with being used, there ws that incessant almost demeaning warmth of consistent and strong famaialirrty between the both of you even as his pupils dilated downward in a distance.

"I don't know what happened. I wanted you safe, and it felt like it would have been easier to go help his wife than to stay with you." Your wet, distant and edged red eyes flew over Bojack, and his eyes turned down in a hidden glint as his fingers encased onto his palms. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, he didn't-" He paused as he winced, remembering the imagery of the neon bodies that had flashed in front of his eyes. His expression squinted as his hand, you rushed forward as your hand eased onto the spaces of his fingertips as your other hand caressed against his cheek. His head shook, the distance of his black wall of emotions overcoming into spiritual exhust and a profound pain as his eyes sparked into a depth of pain that you could already feel the empathy and the prode of. "I don't know."

Your eyes darted across his expression, breathing deepl yourself as you took in the natural wrong that came over his existence that was either from inner conflict or from outward malicouness; it was impossible to tell which one to focus on or which one to put any weight on. Your hand squeezed against his own as he took another shaken breath, and he stumbled to the couch beside him even as your hand flasheed by his hip. His eyes widened as his hand flashed out by the edge of the red couch, abruptly snapped his hand onto the end of the arm chair as his own troubled and swaying plump body just bareilly managed to catch himself against the side of the couch. There were two people embedded on the couch that were intertwined into a makeout session, bodies intertwintned and legs entangeeld as your bodies eased against one anohter. Bojack's body snapped against the side of their feet as your hands tried to catch him, but not before his body abruptly slammed onto the couch as he gave a sudden jolted breath while his body knocked against it. The long pale woman under the topping of a man with a stained and lower class shirt both snapped their heads over to Bojac's sudden loss of control, the woman's eyes eased up into alert as she snapped her head up from the couch where Bojack's body was ha;f leaned against the couch.

"Excuse me?" The smear of her plump lips that edge out from the oil of the smeared edge of it crossed against her face as her eyes lit up into a mocking fire. "Is that the host already knocked off of his ass?"

Bojack didn't seem fully present; his eyes were turned up into a bleak desperation as his eyes snapped up and his mouth twisted into a poked out timid desperation. You kneeled by him as your hands kept by the breathing plump of his body as your body kneeled beside him.

"He's just getting started. You have to set the mood somehow, after all."

You tried to keep your voice as light as possible, though it was clear just how much you were being dragged down by Bojack's own array of his broken disposition that both from modo and too much stimaulnts. He looked only hafl present as fear took into his already extenisevely exhausted timid expression that wwas already occupied into his face enough as it was. Bojck's own eyes were broken up in timid desperation as the bleak puffiness of his eyes threaded up to the mocking light of the couple. There was a handsome look to the torment tha only the worn silhouette of Bojackc ould manage, though it didn't stop you from feeling the pain in him nonetheles or of being affected and pulled down into it.

The woman smirked. The man lifted up his face from where he had settled his face onto the woman's chest as he snappd his head over his shoulder, intens mocking on his face that suggested that he was getting a sick amusement out of the Bojack's clumsy stumble onto the couch, his stomach spilled forward and his arm pressed onto the armchair. His head turned up, breath encased into a heavy pant, and you could feel yourself being puleled up into his own disarray of chaos as he looked up in front of the couple with a distant that seemed hardly present.

"Where did you come from?" Bojack's voice was timid, drunken. His hand waved in front o the air, lazily, and in a clumsy manchild way that overcame him as your hand conuitned to caress on his back. "You're like a couple that manifested into the annoying no one wanted you part of town and now you're trying to take the center stage of another place where no one especially wanted you."

The man gave a whistle, his eyes fired up into a mocking gluten as the women turned her head back, her laugh easing up into the air in amusement. His body began to ease off of her hips as he sat himself upright, teeth biting down onto his liip.

"You know, you're everythin anyone ever said you were."

"Yeah? What's that, asshole?" Bojack seemed just distant enough in the inflduence of whatever had caused him to plunge that his voice sounded pathetic, timid, with that ease of unknowing and natural helpless preciousnesss that possessed him so easily, but there was just enough aggravation in his voice that it caused the man to sit up.

"Sweetheart-don't." Your voice whispered against his ear, but Bojack easeed his hand beside you as he drunkenly waved his arm again.

"No, no, this is something that this guy wants to handle head on. He wants to come to the center field, he's going to get a dance."

Bojack tried to raise himself off of the arm of the couch even as he muscles on his face gave away an ache on his expression as his eyes twisted while he eased himself upward. His hand guided onto the couch chair and you followed his awkward attempt of raising himself upward as your hand followed suit while following his body. The man chuckled as he began to grip his hands onto his own cheap shirt, throwing it to the side as the woman beside him leeting out her own amused call as her head turned back and her palms clapped.

"I didn't think we would be trying this this early. Me, trying to fight and but Bojack Horseman in his face-let's fucking do it!" He eeased his hand onto the shirt, and the melcholcy and bewidleremnt that came up into Bojack's eyes was flashed into something tht was only somewhat pleasant aggression. The woman the man had been easing himself on top off flashd out her phone, her hands pressed onto it as her eyes gleamed up into her own malicious and easily amusement grandeur. Bojack winced as he looked at the man while his face tensed in disgust.

"Did I agree to that?" His eys lowered into his cocky invaldaiton as he waved his hand lazily. "Because that sounds like something only a drunk loser t one of my already annoying pariites would think would make ti somewhere worth being."

"Hey, I've heard of you." The man eased his body off of the sudden timid alarm overcame Bojack as his eyes widned as he began to step back, his squinted eyes turning over to you as his eyes rasid up into a puffy glance of his own beilwdemrnt.

"Of course you have. You're at my party." Bojack's tone sounded more somber, more stand off than it was full of aggravation now, and your hand eased onto his arm s you caressed it in an attempt of keeping him by you. His head turned as he looked at you, head swaying, an ass like nature to his air that came along with his own bediwlered drunkenness. He snapped his finger in front of him even as his body swayed. "Don't start going all haywire in the middle of the party. It's already annoying enough as it is with people trying to feel cool for glombing onto me and whatever they think it is that they get out of being here."

"You're the guy who walks around at night, like that sad little crackhead stereotype that everyone in this party knows you are. You know you got a repuuatuion for looking out on the cliff at night and just standing there like a detached drunk?"

Bojack's eys lowered. They were as old and worn with both the wer of how he treated himself and the guide of his own exapsertion as he gazed down at the pale slender form of the man and his arms as he essed himself fotwrd to Bojack in his own mocking; Bojck showed his true colors of his intention and the bravery, or lack of, as you flt him ese further into the touch of your hand.

"Yees, I am aware of that." His voice was somber and detached as his dry eyes threadee utp to the mna. "That would be aprt of what keeps miserable people walking around my neighboorhood at night bored."

The man chuckled, heat in his eyes. One thing eyebrow rasied as his smiile flashed out in amusement.

"Oh, it's worse than that, big boy. There's rumors that you and several other men showing up tonight are all apart of this weird delusional wife cult shit."

Bojack left eye winced. "The what now?"

"That's that I said. It sounded pathetic, and not something that I would expect anyone from someone tat's as rich and as well off as someone like either of you." His eyes turnd up to the now dim lit neon and red light that washed up through the party as his eyes threaded up through the now increasingly more cold crowd. "What in the hell did you think all these people came for to see?"

Bojack's drunk eyes flicnhed, and wiht an awkard step froward, as if that would help prove his point, he stepped forward with a sway.

"I dont' know. Why has anyone in Los Angeles ever come over to my house at all?"

The man's eyes flashd as he looked in front of him with a mivcelious glint. "The rumors going around are insane-someone even said they saw a few men of your type, rich men that were either divorced or just along for god knows why, forming a circle around your neighborhood a little while by a few nights ago. They settled for looking up at the sky in front of them in front of the edge of one of those cliffs. Crazy shit, and by crazy I mean one of those things that's patehtci enough that you wonder how its not one of those made up stories that people make to amuse themselves and get attention."

"Yeah. I bet you that's exactly what it is." Bojack's voice was jaded into an edge that met his own bewildered and foggy eyes. Your hand that was eased onto his arm only squeezed, and it ws just enough for the wear of his face to turn as he snapped his head over to you, body and head swaying as he did so as his eyes fknched to our body in a hald detached bbeiwldered question. He turned his head back to the man as his body contuiend to vaguely sway. "You came all the way over to this party just because you hard a lame rumor from consumer whiney babies about what rich men might be doing with their free time?"

"Is it true though?" The man's eyes turned to him as he stepped forward; Bojack's ears splayed back as he eased himself back while he puffiness of hsi eyes eased in apology. "I know that people make some crackhead shit up but his report came from multiple people. And all the men that sudden have wives and are both acting strange ar all coming her tonight." his eyes darted ove to your body, and you elt frustrated and at ease into a hidden want of distance enough that you stepped your way back, eyes turned downward as you did so. "And hey-here's your girl, right on the spot of all the razy rumors lately. Isn't that something?"

"I've had lots of girlfriends, thank you. I'd like you to take the unremarkabality of that status of existence with as much lack of remarkability as much as it deserve, especially fi it involves you midng your business."

The woman with the phone let out a cackle, the chining of her own eyes eased onto the phone as her lips easued into a cracked amuysement. Your eyes turned as you looked over at her, feeling the burning of your eeys and the fogginess of the eliquor now not nearly enough. Bojjack's head turned back to you gain, and as your red egged eyes turners up to his own, you could make out just enough of the tender gentleness in his eys to feel that guilt coming off of him that radiated out f him so easily.

"I mean, I didn't mean to say that-"

"It's ok." Your hand caressed against his arm, and you heard tht familiar pathetic whimper of uncerinity ease from Bojack's lips, though the stumblign wretched apology let itself go for now. The man's eyes flashed as he stepped his way forward, mocking malicious eys guided between the two of them.

"If you ask me this place has major frak energy anyway. I don't know what kind of cult you or anyone guy ehre came up with to finally find the perfect partner, but either way, I'll give you the ace that it's prety impressive."

"This isn't about a cult." A genuine defiance and insult overcam Bojack's expression; as muhc as a random drunken ass he could be, there was a guise of someone possessing genuine respect for that of which was threatened between the both of you; you felt a ease of your own ressurnce come over you from ti.

The man shook his head and laughed. "I don't care what you call it. I'm sure you guys have your own secrete that only people like your status are capale of."

"Not exactly." Bojack's eys darts into a clear panic, his pupils dialting in his eyes as his emotion came over him. "Look man, I know that you're probably on come stimulant and that you only half know what's going on with you. But I have no idea what you're talking about, and I especially don't think you should expect me to have a special insightinto whatever bored, nonfamous people come up with to keep their smll talk interesting."

The man's eys flashed. He stepped forward, anf Bojack's apology and natural timidness came over him fully as he stepepd his way back, his hand squeezing onto yours as you offered the sam ressurnce back.

"Why don't we dry that durken ball?"

Bojack's head snapped ove to you. "Well-"

"No, no. Let's see." His began to kneel himself down into a posture that was clearly meant to be mocking; Bojack's eyes winced as his palms pressed further onto you. 'You know why it's so believable why you and al the men here don';t have what it seems like it should be easy to believe you have?"

"No, not espcisally-"

"It's because you're all one of those rich, pathetic and gross assholes where even when you have everyhing most people would use anyone for, you still can't get anyone to even pretend to love you."

Bojack's eyes flashed, part in an intensity and part in a sudden onslaught of a strike of weakness, though whether defiant or surprised, they all revealed the same of him being stricken into an intense component that was already haunting him. Your hand pressed furher on his arm as your hand squeezed his.

The man's head mockingly snapped up to you. "What's your story? Did he drug you, somehow sue some wierd spell shit? I know Los Angeles is as crypitc a sit gets whn it comes ot anything that's right in front of us or even then, but with someone liek you, spiriutla, eternal, gentle, to end up with a guy this naturally unremakrbale and so tied down to the goddamn muanity of settlign and of having nothing special going on on a human level that no amount of status can guy-it's almost inspiring to know these kind of combinations can happen, but should they?"

Bojack's eyes hardened as his expression threaded into a tense emotion as his eys gudiied onto the man.

"You don't have to be here." His voice had reached the level of tone of serious tone of lowness that gave away his defense. Yoru eyes snapped up as you kept yourself on his arm, his siollouete of his already natural profound grace on the edge of his face only being prtrued further from the intense pain in his eyes.

"I know. And you didn't have to have this party. And those men didn't have to go out and stand in that circle and look like freaks, and you don't have to stand out drunk in the middle of the night, But we all do things to respond to existence, don't we? For whateve reason that we an't even udnersand." The teasing of his teeth on his lip increased as his heated eyes flashed over to your body; you tried to keep yoru eyes downward as you pulled on Bojack's form, and from how he was stepping back you could sense he was following your pace as much as his foggy brain would have allowed. The bags and cut wrinkles under his eyes were increasing and his face had never quite looked so worn down. Though you both stepped back into an uncomfortable agreeability, the man made his way over to you as he towered above your body; his eyes, heated with his allure of heated hunger and mocking of teeth biting down on his lip only increased as he reathed his face over your body.

"So what was it? Is it the decreased money, the consistently horrible repurution, or did he promise you something?"

Your hand snapped out to the man's pale chest, and he laughed in what seemed like an odd celebration as his body stepped back from your hand that snapped onto his chest.

"Stop it."

The sickly amusement on the man's face increased as his smile spread further onto his face. The sentiment of the woman on the couch, clearly extneively amused by the sceen, had much of the same reaction. "Getting feisty?"

"You need to leave." Bojack's voice was guarded as he spoke. The man laugheed as he shook his head, though his eyes kept turned to yuou, as uncomfortable and targeted on you as much as it would have been an uncated nightmare to be pinpointed on it.

"You know that this guy is only going to make things worse, right/ I don't think he can be capable of bringing anything genuinely good around his life. You'll get caught up, isolated, made fun of."

"Bojack's right. You need to leave." Your voice wwas speaking too quickly to be taken seriously, and the fact that you kept your eyes downward and onto the glow o the red floor of the party wasn't oen of fear, but rather a compelled disgust that went so deep that you wouldn't offer itt o the man to give him a second of his own fodder.

"I know the freeaksaround here. They hide behind their accomplishments, their money, their activities and their career. But it's always the sme story at the end." The man stepepd forward abruptly, enough that it caused Bojack to jump abruptly as his eyes widend as his ears perked up, timidn breath shaking out of his lips as he stepped back. Your hand squeezed onto his arm again, and the confidence flickered into the man's eys again into a heat as he gave a laugh. He nodded over to you curtly as he stepped his way back.

"You have the look of naivety to you anyway. It could have been used for something good, but some people are just meant for fodder. At least you make him look good on his way ot of whatever kind of wack ass intnetion him and all the other unlovable rich men freaks around here think."

"Just like the guy who dosen't have any of those things. What are you, the committee for lower than fathomable hypocrisy?"

Bojack was trying to bring back his confdeint dry wit, though it was clear his emotion got caught in it. The man's eys flashed as he gazed between the both of you, stepping baked into the crowd with a confidence that bothered the both of you, and made even further from the mocking of his eyes as if he had won some kind of game.

"The tabloids. Look it up, Bojack. Know your kind."

"No, I don't think I will!"

Bojack voice attempted to call out in defiance, though even his louder and more expansive voice eased away into the noise of the crowd and paled in comparison to the loud pitch of the mocking man;s advice. Bojack's expression turnd downward, eyes glinted into a distance as the emptiness of his expression easeed in front of him. A profound pain was in his eeys that came along with the drunken bewilderment. Your hand foun the eedge of his cheek, and he turned his head as he gazed at you with his own question, though the distance in his eyes and the wear of the exhaust of his face only matched the durken wear of his expression as he turned to you. His eys flickered, half in insecurity, half in a clear trigger of the endless array that always made up his endeslslly chruching and rich mind.

"The guy is one of those losers. Don't..think about it." He breathed between words, and you nodded a syou tried to be guided along his attempted words. "I don't even know what kind of stimulant someone has to take to be that far gone."

"It's ok. I know."

His eyes turned, durken as a tired and old a smooch as Bojakc himself seemd out of place from the party.

"Did you hear anything? At all? About the-" He paused as his eyes turned forward into a detached thought of panic. "-The guys?"

You opened your lips, and there was the understansnd that that wasn't the point of the conversation; there was a insecurity in Bojack that had been planted far more than the confirmation or denial of any stereotype or rumor. There was the sudden sound of someone clamoring themselves onto a wooden table; Bojack's focus on your eyes was inteuttped as his expression widned whale he saw another large, bulblous bear ease himself onto the table as his chubby arms spread forward.

"Hey! You fucking losers-where is that guy that started this shithole party to begin with? We need someone to liven this fucking party yup!' His drunk eyes threaded over to the crowed, eyes glinting in a search over the party as his eyes erased over the wave of the crowd tha eased their heads from their conversation and over to where the drunken stout form was standing.

"Oh, Good Lord." Bojack's eyes hardened as announce increased. "You can't be serious."

"Where-where's that Bojack guy? We need the man with the known face and coem up, introduce the game" A belch lef this lips. A weary sigh from Bojack followed fromyoru side as some of the white chatter began to lessen.

Bojack swept his fingers out of the spaces of yours, the dry exhaust of his own array of unhealthy disparagement in more ways than one polluting his eyes. His head titled to you, his body slumped forward as he only managed a messy nod to your body, too out of it for him to be able to communicate anything beyond that. His bottom eyelids winced as he stumbled over his feet and began to thread his own messy array of arms through the crowd, grunting raspily as he swayed his body through the crowd until his own swaying and heavy body stood in front of the table where the drunken bear was swaying with his large body poked out.

"Yeah. Cute, genius." Bojack waved his arm in front of him, and the bear chuckled as his drunken and foggy eyes snapped over to Bojack's own cynical and exhausted, dry eyed and bleak ones. "I get it. You want me to put the fire under your ass where you can't. Let me try to help that. But first you need to get your ass off of the table."

The beart bellowed, his eyes wide as the rest of the crowd began to raise their voices into an increased chatter of amusement as his eyes widened and his feet sutmbled over the table. Bojack's dry eyes raised up into an exaggerated sarcasm, and he waved his hands furhteer beside him as he began to stumble to the desk.

"Look at BJ! You finally decided to come around and make this event worth something."

"If you manage to stop being such a pain in the ass, then yes, maybe we can work something out." Bojack's eyes turned up to the bear, teeth poked and the black bags under his wrinkled eyes increasing with his own wit that jaded caper that came along with being on edge as much as he was. "You mind getting off and not enocurgaing any of these annoying lunatics anymore thna their own inbred presence might already do?"

The bear chuckled, durry brown stomach peeking out from his rising shirt as his boulder arms raised in front of him.

"Let's see what the big ol BJ cele has to say about it all, sure. I'm more than ready for that."

Bojack's eyes didn't lessen in their empty exhaust as he stepped back, ears lowered as his body slumped while the bear chuckled and began to ease his feet off of the table. He stumbled off of the edge of it lazily enough that his eeys widned as his large body abruptly slammed off of the edge of the table. Bojack lifted up his hands timindly as he man triopped over his feet with his body turned back, letting out a drunken chuckle as his own large weight barely managed to escape from slamming onto the people in front of him. Their arms caught him; some of them, that was, as much as their arms and the embrace of their own drunken splay of limbs were able to manage as they snapped theri bodies agaisnt the front of the bear as he stumbled into their embrace. Bojack's eyes rolled not for the countless time, and he settled for raising his own drunken body up the table, his body swaying in its own shattered air as he did so as he eased himself onto the low table. You walked forward as your red tinted eyes watched him with your palms sqwueezed onto your arms, eyes threading against his trmeblign movement that reached out into the dry of his almost painfully weighted laden winkeld and black bags as he swayed and turned mesisly over to the exten tof the crowd, hos face dry in sarcasm and his body interalced with the unhealthy stimulants he had taken enough to the point where it was clear his body was on the verge of either a passout or a breakdown; but he was, all things considered, intelligent enough in an emotionall intelligence and life kind of fashion that even with how many drinks he had consumed and with how broken and sway with his dinks he was, he was overcome with the intelligence that naturally carried him through life that came along with the skill of needing to navaigte it.

"Hey, losers." His wrist wiped the bottom of his branwy jutted out lip, and a belch left his mouth as there was a cackle that came from the crowd, right along with an encouraging cheering; some of them full of something that sounded not enttirley like moeckye, some of them sounding agreeable in their enocutgability. "You asshoels came here to have a really great, shitty nigth for once of your otherwise miserable pathetic lives?"

There was a natural spite and cockiness in Bojack;s voice, and one of which was a tone that you had become convivnced was the only way he was confident enough to be able to direct a crowd directly such as the way he was now in his otherwise fragile nature. His body was swaying and he was clearly trying for a posture that came across as confidence, though mostly he looked sickly, drunk, swaying with a lack of any coherent balance or clarity. The sneer on his mouth was the stogit opposite of the tender and impossibly soft and fragile apologetic lover eyes that met yours so often when iniamcty was met; in its palace was the hardened chemistry of a cockiness and even mockery and his white teeth smashed together in a challenge of a sneer while he egged on the crowd. Your head turned as you watched the sweat filmed induced crowd beside you as the crowd contuieend to cheer while bodies pressed and shoved agaisnt your own without care as you body was wrecked agaisnt the crowd. Your head snapped back over to Bojack and you could tell that even as his smile rested into a cocky and content sneer and a lazy confidence in his drunken eye that looked far from flattering or fittin for his face that he was attempting the narrative that this was going well, that he wanted this; that he belonged here. You began to ease your way through the crowd a syou tried to keep your own panic at bay while you shoved your way through the bodies, red edged eyes turned up as much as the blurry vision of your eeys would alowo you to.

"Ok, ok-I hear you, I ge tit." Bojack's confidence, even at its peak had a trace of pathetic desperaiton to it as he closed his eyes and waved his hands. A cocky chuckle elft his lips. "You all came to Bojack's hose so you could learn how to smash and crash and have a good time, I get it."

"When are we doin; the sex circle jerk off, Bj?" A nosy and flaccid messy yell eased out over the crowd. Bojack chuckled a shis naturally timid eyes eased up into his own contentment amongst the encouragement of the crowd as his shoulders raised up and met his laugh.

"Easy. We'll all have a ood time, and you'll manage to fuck your cute partners for the night. Promise. You didn't come all the way over here to not have a great party tonight. And all of you and your sweat induced thighs and legs are going to have the time of yoru godddman lives tonight." Bojack rasiued his arms above his head ad his expression spread into a grin. "Amazing party at Bojack's house! Lert's get this hit on!"

His voice was becoming loud, booming, demeaning in that way he could whenever he wanted to have the desire to naturally command; and in that moment it was clear both the liquor and his natural desire for being above and leadership was getting the best of him. His encourgeemnt only increased the extensive yells and durkne clamor of the equally lost and durken people that followd him, the insults against Bojack and themselves as well as the encouragement towards the shoving crowd increasing as the white chatter and chaos began to increase.

"We gotta do an orgy!"

"No-everyone with their parnrters, all at once! If you don't have any then that's your loss, you fucking weedheads!'

"Hey, Bojack, make your repuaution useful and invite more celebrities over here so someone can see how much action and how cool I am tonight!"

Bojack was chcukling, his eyes threading into a desperation of what ws meant to eb confidence, though that nature timid and worried heart that followed him so easily dressed itself into the details of his timid features even as his smile attmeepted to be rasied into a confident grin. You began to become more shoved by the bodies of the crowd that surrounded you, and you snapped your hand towards anything you could to keep yourself balance dand to keep yourself from falling; the side of a couch the edge of the white wall that enterneced into the kitchen part of the wide open expanse of Bojack's room; anything you could clutch your weight onto. Bojack snapped his fingers over to one of the woman, wine dress half fallen off of her bodie s as she sutmbled her way to the top of the stage.

"Hey, if it feels good then that means that its the right thing, right? We can all have sex in whatever wya that we want." His druken, heavy worn eyelids eased on his cocky eyes while his equally cocky expression turned down to the sutmbling woman. "That's something my wife said. She says that to me a lot. And other philosophies of that fashion."

Bojakc repeated any words he heard that he even half deemed as wsiedom; he was like that in his own way, naturally lose and desperate to cling onto anything that made evn the slightest minute of sense or that would give him relief to an otherwise confused and wretched heart. The woman stumbling under the stage only let out a ripe of a cackle, her eyes clearly too far gone to be able to either respond or agree, but her body only twisting as he popped herfingertip against the mostly empty bottle and allowed the rest of the liquor to pour down her break.

"Whooa-Whoa. Ok. Uh-" Bojack's bottom eyelids winced as he raised up his hands, that uncertain and more stable digined air he had taking his movmenetsn even in the middle of his own durken labor. How he managed to stay so in contact with himself, so naturally graceful veen in his most self sabotaged induced moments was something that you always admired, and it contrasted against the sickliness of the other durken lost bodies and midns of the midnless and chaotic exapnse of the people that were now packing Bojack's house all the way from the front of the masterbed door frame, up the stairs anf all the way out and over to the overhnaging porch overlooking he city, bodies laced agaisnt the neon light that ssuorudned their bodies as they jamemd thier mouths and thighs and dance of arms against one another in n uncaring and fairly soulless sway, and all the wya to the front of the master grey doors, and you were now beginning to understand what he meant when he ahd that tint of exhaust in eyes and a hear that had been meant to live a far more in depth and human life other thna what surroudned him now, and what was at such a contrast of a length compared to the way he held his own in cosntrast to the durken, eye rolled and lost people no,w money or not, career and supposed aim in life or not, everyone's deep buried extent of their own lostess was coming the forefront now as they contuiend to jam their bodies agaisn one another aand shot their carlesss swya of their slurred words, both in intention and literally.

"Why don't we-" Bojack;s fingertips played as his eyes winced as his pupils dilated bakcwar.d; you kept trying to make yoru way over to the edgeof the table, butt he blur of your yes and the geenral feeling of sweat and of feeling as if you coild have doubled over in weakness at any given moment kept your itnetions at bay, and after shoving your way through several more uncaring elbows and the general experience, no matter of what status or artistry that made up anyone in that now red dim lit living room would have made up, of being unseena nd of having the impossibility of being able to change the fact. Bojack was a clear narrative to you in the middle of the muddiness of that room and also existence and you were trying to keep yourself focused on that as much as you were able to, but you settled for your hand easing on one of the red velvet chairs that sat in front of the counter as you tried to calm the sickliness of yoru breath to little or no avail, your hand instead leaning onto the chair as you beagnt o feel your rear ease into it, through your eyes didn't turn away from the timid and attempt of savvy confidence of Bojack. For all of how brianless and far gone the people were that was surrounding the crowd, you knew he would at least be granted that one relief for the night.

"Ok. You all in a circle. All of you. Everyone dancing, or..making out or whatevr you call it in this entire space, please form some kind of coherent line isnteasd ogf jamming your tongues down each other;s throat."

It was in that moment when you wwere reminded how oddly introverted Bojack was, despite his tendency to grab out for any social stimulation he could get to keep himself from his trouebeld mind and whatever chaotic narrative might have been polluting or coming along with it. He was stoic and even toend in contrast to the chaos that surrounded him, his hand waving in front of him as he guided his gesture over to the rest of the crowd that had lkong since lost their narrative of dignity in contrast. Several of the druekn women began to raise their teeth up from where they had een pressing their lipstick against the mouths of them men in front of them previously, others genrlaly pressing their bodies into their partners andf some whoever would have gotten the chance to touch anyway as they came in general.

"Listne to this guy-he has tabloids all over for him of how much of a drunk and an addict he is, but now he thinks he can leads this entire party."

A lodu cackle followed the statement. Bojack;s ears flew downward a shis eeys winced in that sentiment that seemd almost boyish.

"You came here to be. In all honesty I would have preferred if the majority of you hadn't showed up to begin with. Beefore you start throwing and prodding your jabs at me why don't you get your as out the door to beegin with so I don't have to deal with you-" He paused as he caught his reath, kabored from the emotions pushing it. "Or you can get in a line and have your incredible sex that was so worth coming over to talboit freak man's house for. Up to you."

There were some whistles and teasing and evene a few enocuaging bbut mocking moans and laughter that came from the crowd. The gleam of dry exhaust in Bojack's eyes sthat held his ouruity that was sick of the twisted and often malicious inten utmost people used as the excuse for humor occupied his eyes further as his arms crossed, but several of the people began to go along with it, not without their whispered words between one another and their heads thrown back in humor as they began to step over one another into what was a fairly jaded, messy, but nonetheless still successful intended circle that was now meeting all of the array of the chaotic movement of the crowd and left a space in it. Bojack body swayed, his eyes still sickly detached from the atmopehere in a way thaht would have suggested an asd, and you new that the more oddly shy part of him wouldn't have managed or have been able to stand the trahsiness of the situation; that was part of where Bojack's grace came from, both as a person and as a general holder of the beliefs he had that were almost old fashioned despite the fifty some years prior of action that suggested otherwise; the idea of having and wanting a lifetsule that was so much more pure, slower, softer than that of the trashy Los Angeels lifestyle and even the reouation he ahd ganrderd from the actions he had willingly made more so as a form of self punishment, rather than the genuie want of doing those things. As it ws, he seemed to find at least some comfort in the fatc that they were validaitn his exitence, encouraging him, even if it was only in the detached and sickly way that he was so convinced was the only way of which he deserved.

"Ok. Great. You got the first part right." One of his eyes winced in an especially drunken way as his eyes winced over to one of the couples; two females, one with her amr slung onto the other, both with their dresses have down on their chests enough that their breasts were showing, and their eyes gleaming in amusement as they snapped their heads towards one another, lipstick smeared as they eyes glsinted upward. Bojack waved his hand drunkenly, as pupils turnedu up into that ass esque fashion that suggested that he was barely even coherent, much less connected, to that of which surroudne dhim. "Why don't you two girls…start doing something that will get all of you animals started. And yes, tonight you're all animals, with the amount of senseless and annoying hunger you're all showing."

The girls turned towards one another and their eyes glimmerd. They laughed a sthey began to eased and eencourgae their bodies forward and over to the middle part of the circle. One of them had her eys glimmeredd as she raised her hands off of the rest of the dress, pulling it down her knees as she bit on her lip flitatioulsy onto the woman partner. Bojack conuitned to sway, and as the woman began to began inaimte with arms wrapped around necks and lips intermingled in their intimacy, you began to find the strength enough to move from where your hand was eased on the chair and began to stumble yoru way ot the edge of the desk. You eased your hand onto the desk as you tapped it, your eys now heavy with alcohol enough that you were too half asleep with senesed duleld to do much more than that.

"Sweetheart." Your voice was sickly, uneen and even rougehd with a grated feeling of grotesque grating as your eys turned up. In contrast to the booming and adaptive and somehow still honey voice of Bojack, you felt the relief easing towards you that you had someone on your side that was as naturally stoic as he ws, whether hemeant to or whether his own weary timid heart meant to or not. Bojack turned, looking pathetic in his own way despite your admiration, as his sickoy eyes turne down and focused on you.

"Hey, the losers said they wanted something to do, and I know what it looks like when you don't keep party goers busy." He lifted up a finger as he swayed to the left and ride, reaching out a hand to air clumsily as the only thing keep him upright. "Bojack don't deal with annoying party people if he can see whatever dumb acitvity can keep their spoiled empty infused polluted with utter nonsense brain occupied."

"Just don't lose your truth tonight. I know we're both drunk and stupid right now,a dn what I did earlier was something I shouldn't have put you through, but keep to yourself. Remember, whateve ryou believe or whatevr happens to you, its how you respond to it despite the rules of whatever conventionally might make something up as to how you should respond to it that ulitmely is in your control. There's no rules to how you have to respond to any given situation or any person tonight. I want you to remember that."

Bojack blinked, quickly , cycncially as he empty eyes met on your own.

"If you're going to lecture me you can at least do it on the same platform where i'm being lecture at." Bojack grunted as he kneeld hismelf onto the stage, his hands reached out to graze into your own. Though it was difficult to be able to focus in the middle of your own blurred and pained vision, you managed to reach out your hands to meet against Bojack's own guided and chubby owns. He grunted as he eased you onto the stage, pullin you further and into him and his voie, impossibly honeeyd and despite all boyish heplenss and immature humor had a sens eof natural human wisefom to it, currently only slightly grated by the alcohol. His hand pressed on yoru wrist and youa allowed your stumbling body to be met by his guidance as you raised your body to meet his own, his wet asking eyes threading over your body even as you winced. He jotled out a timid breath as he felt the way your body snapped downward, shaking slightly in breath and otherwise the same as Bojack's hands caught your body from falling onto the fairly weak table again.

"You ok?"

His natural soft emotionally intelliegce broke you out of the blakc a bit, and, elss ronatucally, the sound sof the cheeerign and booing and general white chatter that was coming from th expanse of the cheering of the crowd in fotn of you. You opened your eyes ans your first sight was the complication of Bojac's own hollywood and worried eyes, asd although there wass something inhreintly heavy about his existence that spoke of struggle and even loss and strife, you felt at home in that grounding adn warm way as you allowed your body to be met by his own hands onto yours.

"All things considered it could be much worse." Bojack's eyes kept on yours in his own stoic and simple nature of an air that wasn't made for that of which surorudned him and never had. You leaned forward as you pressed your lip against the wear of his bloated and aged cheek, knowing full in the back of your succonious that you were far too drunk to eb abelt o feel or proces anything anwyay. "Tahnk you for letting me up here."

"Leaving you down there with a bunch of lost inred desperate drunks would have been the exten of pushing you into death. You're welcome."

Depsite his ajded teasing, there was that impossible soft and almost pathetic getnless and the desire to be love and known by the warmth that kep cropping up between you just by virtue if being. You laughed in vague relief as your body eased forward and onto his chest, your cheek encased onto his body as he pulled you in, snout resting on yours and whisky easing onto the top of your head. The muscle son your face furrowed as you focus don the minute comfort he gave you while his ody swayed on yours for a moment, separate and preferably so from the rest o the expansive and loud disgruntled laughter and obnoxious uncare of the rest of the crowd that fell into a backdrop; at least, that was what the both of you would have preferred in a reality more catered to you and aay from Bojack's emotional impuslive disarray that led into this kind of comcplaited siuatiosn.

"I know how many narratives there are in you." Your hand eased onto his stout ones as you pulled him in, and you heard the way he gave a grislted breath as you gudieid yourself onto the mess of his alcohol stained shirt, still brawny and malcuine in a comforting fashion all things considered. "Make sure you keep to the one that feels the most true and right, no matter the side affects."

"Yeah." His voice was gruff with something edge with a sharp bitterness. "I guess that's what we can call the you following your intuition earlier just because a methhead peer decided it would be better for you to leave."

Your eyes blinekd in surprised, the muscles on yoru face vaugeely tensing in your own surprise. "How much did that hurt you?"

"Not hurt. Just a nice consideration of what pattern this might be. There's a lot of countless people sitting on their hind legs waiting to assault me with whayever they an come up with. You can't keep up with that and we're both going to end up in pain and emptiness-"

"I would never actually-"

"-That I've spent my entire life trying to be ble to avoid. Funny how a gguy has dated woman he hasn't actually liked his entire life, and less than half of the time it was on purpose, huh? It's almost as if he was doing it on purpose."

The muscles on your face countiend to increase. You turned your head up as your chin kept rested on his chest, and as you looked at the wear and the genuine defeat and profound human emtoiness that transcended understanding in Bojack's eyes, you could feel the inherent werainress that came from the mesisness of loving another, no matter who they wer eor what quality they dealt.

"Bojack-" Your lip opened as your fingers squeezed on the space sof his hand. "I want to-"

"Oh my god, do it! You need to do it!" A man's inebriated voice was riaisngt up into the air, snapping up from the rest of the voice. Boack's head turned up and yours followed from where your cheek rest on his as his own squinted and naturally defensive and halted eyes for defeisve raise dup as he saw the way the man cackled out a breath. A young black man with his shirt twisted inside out had his teeth splayed out inot an extensive glimmer of dense humor as he wave his hands to what looked like a couple that was familiar enough to Bojack and to yourself with the status they had esabslihed in the city; Brad Poff and his current girlfriend of a particular slender and multiple eyed spider woman who you had sene on magazines inreaisng more often every now and then, her body twisted out into a curve of a blakc dress ansd at least two of her four arms on either side threads smoothly into the edge of Brad's arm. Brad himself was sporting askweed red glassed that were tinted in a hue that bareilly managed to cover the heavy wear on his sky and under his eeys that suggested stimualnt use to the point were his skin seemd as if it was dropping on itself or carrying an especially heavy weight, not unlike the unhealthiness you saw in Bojack's pulled down expression. H ewas porting a blue tuxedo wher ehalf of it was already starting to be pulled down one right of his shoulde,r the pink of his lip eased out into a mock as he kept his arm eased through the spider woman's body, her fur especially tint with pink through the reflection of the red lights as her amused unreadbale foggy blakc eys followed him to the centee.

Bojack's expression eased further onto his face that suggested exaspetion, and his dry eyes rolled up as a sigh followed. Your hand eased as it squerezed onto his wrist, attempt at reassurence following your want to give it to him as your fingertips guided onto his wrist, attempitng to forget the comcplciaiton that could barley be processed enough as it was that came from the sickly rray that was the drunkenness and the incessant detahement that surorudne you in the chaos of other equally distant and figgy flacid brained people.

The cheering increased as Brad mad his wya to the center of the messily strew togetehr circle. The spider girlfriend only seemed to be more amsuedd as he swung his arm out of her and made a move of a snap of his hands that was meant to be flattering, his darkness making him seem more of an ass than he was. The sway of the woman conuinted to increased as her array of limbs contuiend to ease agaisnt the expanse of the sea of the crowd while the tinti of her arms danced and reflected agaisnt the light. Bojack's dry concentration settled for watching as sverla people began to raise their voices in theier trashy encouragement.

"Make sure to get a good woman, Brad! You want to do this thing with someone who's not going to gather a bunch of annoying posts later about fucking soemone who's less than average. On't give the annoying bored loser woman on twitter hope!"

"If you do it with me I'll make thinsg entertaning enough that everyone will be laughing so ahrd that we'll all win." A woman twirled her hand into her hair as her body stepped flitatioulsy forward. "Pick me and we'll all go down in entertainment tonight!"

"What are they talking about?" Bojack's voice was gruff with his own annoyed impatience even more than usual. "Brad already had a goddamn girlfriend and from the looks of it, neither of them are keen on sharing."

"Drunk." Your own sickly smile tugged at your lips as you eased the spades of your fingertips against his own. Bojack took a rasp of a breath that was somewhere between a sigh and a groan as he allowed your body to ease further on his chest, his obody stumbling a fewpaces behind just from the virtue of the intensity of your intimacy, and just as much his physical imbalance.

Bojak let out a chuckle full of contempt. "Honey, I've been drunk before, and it dosen't even come close to the amount of aimless inbred assery that these people are coming up with." The sound of a vase broke, and Bojack's arms tensed on your body as his head snapped up to where a man and woman were embedding their limbs into an array of their own amusement against one another as the glass shattered. "Hey! Easy, assholes!"

The clamor that made up the space of the increased array of the drunken indifference, and you turned your head up and kept your vision fixated on the aggressive wear on Bojack's feautrues as he looked forward with that distant clamor of dry disconnect in his eyes that was furthering itself into disgust. There was a melancholic wear on his face that was increasing, though the dueln helplessness that occupied the majority of his features was taking oer any disgusted control he could have had over the stumbling people that surrounded the party and the expanse of the space otherwise.

"Should I ask them to leave?" Bojack's head turned downw to you, eyes distant in his own almond insecurity that was coming from someone that was uncomfortable around so many different energies for reasons that was more than just announce; there was an e,beddedment of deep insecurity there as the increased puffy wear of his druekn eyes turned to you. You reached out your fingertip and caressed the side of his face, and and his turned downward, the heaviness on his eyelids showing off his age as well as the full extent of h wear he put his body through.

"It's your party. Your idea." Bojack's eyes turned up you, the distant wear on his eyes increasing in its ancient emotional exhust that was amde further from the reflective light of red and blue that polluted his eyes.

"Not so sure that it was. Impulsive decision maker, right?"

Your head turned down as you rested the side of your cheek against his chest. Bojakc didn't necesssairly encourage it or response, but kept his embrace wrapped around your body. The curve of his plump stomach was breathing against the curve of your body, the heaviness of it breathing against your body.

"Come here, pretty lady. This party was meant to show other people how it's done. Let's do that and knock these morons out of the water."

Your head turned as you watched Brad easing the boulder of his tan arms against the crowd as he rasied up his hands, and the spider woman on the other end of the crowd, the pink of her fur easing as it spakrled against the side of the light that guided onto her body as her head titled back in her own allure of what followed. Several of the woman in the bustling and changing dynamic crowd settled for laughing as they snapped their head to one another, smile wide spread as their bodies and hips eased agaisnt one another in their enthusiasm. Some of them stepped forward, with the clear intention of making their way over and inviting themselves into the circle, some of them stopped as arms snapped out and pressed them back into the joslting of the crowd. The muscles on your face furrowed as you took in the woman's reactions, your eyes snapping back over to where the pink twist of the multi limbed woman was lost in her owna allure of contentment through the fog in the multiple faceet of her emotional foggy eyes as she kept her focuse lost on the array of Brad's own movements.

"Which one of us should come over and make ourselves a part of your cute game, Brad?" One of the woman's voice shrilled into the air, loud enough that it pierced itself over the rest of the cacklng crowd that made up the easily amused space of the thread of the rest of the woman with the amusement in their sparkling eyes. Brand waved out his hand as he conuinted to keep the foggy, drug induced foggy focus on his eeys s he turend his hed back to the spider woman. She craned her head as two of her upper arms on each side raised up into a twist of invitation as the pink of her eyes blinekd rapidly while she invited Brad over to the guidnece of her embrace. Brad bit down on his let, easing his body forward into a movement as his hands eased out into a curl while he moved his body forward. There was an twist of his limbs, one that ws clearly meant to be savvy as he licked the bottom on his lip in contempt at the action, emitting a moan from Bojack, the distant ethernal disgsut in his eeys that seemed to speak a language only you were able to understand and read in the full way it was meant to as it passed through your understanding.

"Essy does it. I'm plenty taken." Brad snapped his head up into a curt nod as he snapped his focus over to the other woman. They turned to one another as their eyebrows quirked and furrowed into their own bewilderment, and the laughter eased up as they turned their head back.

"Which one were you lying to just now?" The teasing of the woman, as bold as it was, was ignored entirely by the tan array of the splayed limbs of brad as he made his way fully over to the spider woman. She melted in the same intertwining melting that came from someone that felt the richness that came from the grounding and human relief of loving and being loved by someone else, her body twisted back. Had there been the possibility of vibration of emotion that came just from the way their bodies intertwined as the slender bit of her limbs eased down and fell onto his arms, head turned back while the cut of her lips eased up into contentment as her head eased back and guided into his arms, meeting to the satisfaction of Brad as his own lips raised into something that could only be known as the most incredible emotional relief that eased up agaisnt his own tan features. The edge of his cheeks raised up as emotional contment of a profound level eased onto his expression while the white of his teeth rasid up, spreading across his features. Had there been a conection in the commotion of the otherwise unremakrbale night inregards to emotions and connectiosns, seeing even just the way they connected that followed the sneitment of how Bojack and yourself came together would have been enough for you to have felt the distance otherwise between yourself and everyone begin to crack and fall away entirely in the wake of how much even just that minute richness change the emoptiness of that of which surrounded everything else otherwise of every other unrmelaabkel and crushing lakc of coenciton or want of the attempt that came from everyone else.

"Whoa."

The word left your lips more as a whisper that was less than half of consenual. Bojack turned his head down to you, and though it was clear just from the broken disarray of his breath adn the rapsiness of his broken heavy breath of his detcahement from what surrounded him, he followed the sentiment of the line of what you had picked up on.

"Yeah. Not every day that you see two people being willing to be that embarrassing in front of everyone eles,e I guess."

Your head turned as your eyes guided up to him. His eys reflected the flash of the aimless enocurgement of the bodies and the screams and yells that rasied upward and into the fron of the air. Such as it was with things, there was an understanding of following the natural human nature of what felt good and what didn't. Despite whatever dryness of tone Bojack may have possesed, there was an acknowledgment of the fact that to take in their conenction that he agreed, whether admitted or not was a sentiment to yours, that spoke of a certain freedom that came form the otherwise shackle of disconnect for the night. His head turned down as his eyes sqwuinted and ears splayed back as his snout essed against the fron tof your face.

"Wish there was a way they could fuck us out of this nightmare." His breath spoke against your face as the smell of whsikey eased over your skin. His lips eased against the front of your forehead. "You're the only thing that feels good. Relieving. The way that things should be. Thank you for that."

"Touche." The sentiment of spiriutlaityy that you gave one another was none too shy of making itself known as you bodies eased furhter, though that odd extnet of madness that caem from the inrhient pain of Bojack, and, admiteely, yourself, always seemed on the powerful brink of both of your subconiiousness.

"It's not as if any relief the world gives you will make anyone hodl on anyway. Sooner or later, everyone succombs to the dispair and bad rot of luck that life gives everyone eventually."

You thought the words came from Bojack, and just as youw ere about to raise your eyes back up to ease into the conversation again of tyring to guide him through the negativity that possessed him, you recocngizned that the voice lacked the natural poetic beautiful heaviness Bojakc carried of someone who had the emotional intleligence for artistry wihtout trying just from virtue of being who he was while at the same time having thst cynical nature of defeat and emptiness. Thai voice was far less naturally full of depth, more full of a cracked lessened indifference of a whimsical kidn of superfiifclaity that so many lacked in comparison to Bojack. Your head turned over his shoulder as Bojack's chin rested onto the side of your face, your head turned up as your eyes turned up snd over to where two men sat. There was an edge of light that reflected against their bodies, easing into a neon comfort, and or a momet it seemed like it came from something as mundae as the pool from outside. One of the men turned their head to the other; they were both human, the flash of their pale skin matching the empty cycnail nature of their eyes as they turned their gesture towards one another and clinekd their glasses agsitn one another. A laugh passed through them, as if they were sharing an intimate secreet known only to them, malicious in its core as they turner their head back tot the crowd.

"Poor man is drunk off of his ass to see that he's fucking nothing. Dumb poor idiot will probably more than liekly go home ans crash and wake up with sore thighs tommrrow and s bad memory of whatever occurred tonight. Nothing! I'm amazed the woman are letting him get away with it."

"They'll save it for the press. They always like to make sure thee things are hidden and save it for the press. Let him have his own night of delusional comfort. God knows that in this world no matter hwo you are all of your comforts get lesser and lesser the older you get. He's reaching that age where he realizes the only reason why anyone would want him now is money. Not unlike that Horsemna guy that started this goddamn party in the first place." His lip jutted our as he wiped the whsikey from the bottom of his mouth, easing his wrist agaisnt it as the whsikey poured from his lip while his eyes shined in contemepmtn. "Poor little shit. All of them. Nothing but gross, worn down men that don't know what else hit them until it happens."

"He's lucky to have anyone who cares about him at this age. He's acccomplsihed enough that people will pretend to give a damn about what he feels. In the morning there will eb a couple of lovestruck woman that wil romantize his clear deranged mental illness of escpaissm and he'll end up gettign a reward out of it. That's how the world and people and life goes, at the end of it all; it only cares if you give peopel's naturally inred selfless a reason to care. We are deseprate for the world to love us, but the world dosen't love the inddivual by default. Anyone who's able to lit the beckon to led to their own exwsitence of being cared for is already a huge step among the masses of the tragedy of not having the tools or the skills to be known and escape suffering."

Bojack's lips curled against his snout, and though you didn't knowif it was from the guide of the men;s whiskey laden, cynical converrssion that came across and was so easy to find among the crowd and the business of the indifference and cold intention that came so easily and made up the majorty of any given human interaction. You pulled him closer to you regardless, easing yourself away from the men as you took Boajckc;s own limp and drunken body along with you, your feet tripping over themselves as your eyes snapped over his shoulder while your eyes turned to the men. Bojadck chcukeld drunekly as his eyes turned down as his eyes flicked to you. You did it as much for your own sake as much for his; there wss something about the context of the conversation was making you extenveily uncomfortable.

"What's up with you suddenly? You panicke because I can stand on the table better than these losers with more than half of the drunken idiots for more of the whsikey?"

"Baby, look."

"What? What is it?" His head swung drunkenly to the side, then back over to you with a wince under puffy eyes.

Your hand threaded into the array of Bojack's messy mane, gudidng him gently over to the durkne mess of where Brad's body was currently threaded and intimate against the limbs of the pink woman spider, her own head turned back as the multiple thread of limbs were arranged against his body as their lips were gudidied into the dance of the intimacy of their bodies against one another; the woman's head turned back as her body was an array of an intimacy against his body. There was still that profound energy that was emulating from them while it gudided from the waves of their bodies, and though there wwas no phsyical or tangible proof of it, it waves through the space enough that it still did plenty to ease away what seemed like the imprentriable narrative of the thick vastness of the emotional disocnnect and the abraisve narratives that followed through and with that consistent narrative.

"Do you see that woman?"

"What woman? There's only thousands of them cramping their bodies into my hosue while they gossip and teasing one another with their half naked bodies."

"The one Brad is making love to." Your hand conuinted to ease onto Bojack's mane, your way of gudining him over to the crowd as his puffy eyes swayed over to the crowd ans the mesh of it.

"The..spider women? Yeah. Obviously." His body swayed as he watched the array of their limbs and the inaimict between them that conuited to find its contentenmtn of their limbs flying against one another into an array of their own satisfaction. The tan hand of Brad was starting to ese up the pink thigh of the spider woman, and her laughter eased out of the curvy wide expanse of her mouth as she shook and threaded under his body. Around them were several of the woman, any person in general prceviing the situation, began to become increasing more uncomfortable as they eased their bodies away, disuieted uncerinit begnning to eease through their words that suggested something that was more uncomfortbaility more than it was of anything that was either elevration or even the simplity of enocugremnt and enjoying the centemrne tof hte event for what it had been meant to be. "Why? Are there seriously people here who don't?

"Do you feel it? The way they feel about one another?" Your head turned over to Bojack, who's eyes were detached into his own bewildered drunken exhaust as he turned his head to the side and over the crowd.. His pupils dilated in thought as a softess overcame his eyes, though there seemed to be a disturbed uncerinirty as his eyes eased downward.

"I do.' His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes turned to you. "Why? Do other people not feel it?"

Your head titled over to the rest of the crowd. For your prescriptive it looked as if Brad and the pink tinted eternal spiderwoman waere increasing in their inimaicty that was only becoming more intertwiend in a way that was almost more graceful more than it was comical as their bodies threaded onto easch other. The man's hand eased up the spider woman's thigh as he began to undress the black of her fabirc from her thighs, eyes threaded up to him in her own lackluster comfort as her eyelashes threaded up to his in comfort.

"Oh." Bojack's voice threaded into a reflection as his tone guided into t ablutn relaiztion. His eyes winced as his expressio turned over to the crowd. "What, si everyone else to drunk to be able to see what's going on here?"

"I don't think that's what's going on here." Your hand squeezed against his fingertips. His eyes winced as his body seemed to erase onto yours while his body swayed onto yoru own.

"No? Because form the smell, I think that's exactly what it is."

Your hand turned down to his fingertips as you eased the spaces of your hands onto his with a squeeze. Bojack's swaying tilted head turned back over to you, eys turned down into the expanse of his beidlermnet as his body swayed down to yours.

"Come one." Your hand squeezed onto his as you guided your arms away form his body.

"Where are you going? I would prefer to satay away from the desolate isolatio. I was just getting started on finding ways to make fun od people here."

His vocie was sluringt now with the fog of his own drunk state, but for the time being you felt relief in that as you walked him over to the crowd. Bojack followed you in complacent well enough as you made your way to the ease of the bodies in front of you. Some were settlign for turning their heads away in what seemed like a disturbed uncerintity as their heads turned away, eyes glimmered into a dark concern.

"I know we;re all wasted drunk, but-should we call someone?" One of the woman turned her head to the other. The woman guided her hands onto her amrs as she gave a shrug.

"He's going through some weird rich man crackhead phase. It's not really our business." Her eyes glimmered up to Bojack, who was swaying drunk and delocated with several clumsy raspy breaths leaving his lips as he stumbled over his feet, hsi sweating hand limp into yours as you made your way to the outskirts of the crowd. Brad and the woman were currently entirely lost among the sea of the crowd, and the woman's eeys glimmered up into a sudden recinzgintion as her eys turned to Bojack. "Holy shit, speaking of rich old men, how are you, Bojack?"

Bojack waved his wrist in front of her.

"Easy does it, pinball. I'm just down here because my wife grabbed me down her to have to try and bang it around with you sweat induced losers." He paused, and his palm graduated over to your wrist as his fingertips eased otno your hand. You turned just as you were about to break your way into the thread of the bustling crowd. "Hey, why did I allow you to let me down here again?"

You turned as your eyes eased over your shoulder and to him, your eyes imming as you did so.

"I need to see that woman. Either one of them."

"What" Bojack winced as his eyes danced over your body. "Why?"

"Woman?" The lady beside you chuckled, and your blurry vision turned a syou concentrated on the double vision that the woman in front of you was giving you as much as you were able to as your eyes turned up there. "There's no woman over there. Just some guy who's past his prime and clearly took crack with his whiskey."

"There's something there. I don't know why anyone can't see it."

"Are you two woman serious?" Bojack's durken voice swayed, and your head turned as you saw how he was tripping over his feet with his eyes turned to the two woman. His wrist raised up limp as while a cramped fingertip sloppily pointed to the both of them. "You're both seriously so drunk that you can't see that that man is very clearly fucking his…spider wife woman." He shook his head, eyes tensed as he closed them in frustration for a moment. "Whatever you want to call their race, I ahven't see one of her in awhile."

The woman turned to one another, and their laughter increased as they turned their slender bodies back to Bojack.

"You can't be serious."

"I can't be serious?" His eyes widened as a fury glint eased into his eyes. "You're the ones stumbling back anf forth with some weird narrative in your head that its not weird that you can't see straight."

You began to ease your body agaisnt the crowd, the woman chcukoing while several names passse dby their lips. Bojack grabbed your wrist as he snapped you back; your head turned as you snapped your head over yu shoulder with your eeys flamed as your expression turned over to Bojack.

"You're not really going into that crowd full of all of those sweaty drunks, are you?"

"I need to see something. If what I think is happening is, then the best way I cna try to find some claarty with that is by-"

"By what?" Bojack snapped an arm beside him as he looked at you with aa flare of a glint in his eyes. "Go into a space full of a man on meth wh's trying to enjoy time with his wife? Or whatever label that terms men like Brad like to call it. I could never keep up."

Your head turned as your expression deepened into that intensity of your exhaust as you turned your head over to the stumblign crowd. Some were even now settling for throwing out the most abrasive and uncaring insuults as they were thrown into the air, their words melding into their own satisfaction as the white chatter of them eased into the empty expanse of the air full of sweat and bitterness that human nature was so easily occupied with.

"Yrah! Fucking in front of you; that's self love, baby!" A flash that must have come from a camera, and a large crackle that followed it. "Keep jamming your hips agaisnt your hand, that'll be great or a few cheap hudnered tommrrow!"

"Can't tell the differenc ebetween millionaires and crazy poor people these days. They all seem to end up int the same place at the end of it all. Hey, Brad why don't you leep runing your repuaution and jamming your hips into the woman a bit just to show you're still capable of being aware of something real? You're kind of leaning towards the version of Joker insanity, baby."

"Why are we doing this?" Bojack's voice was full of urgency and insult enough that it pierced through even the emptiness of the crowd and the loudness of ther bodies as Bojack's voice flew through the space. You paused as your lips pressed together, turning your head back to Bojack with alarm in your eyes. His ears were lowered and there was an extension of excessive annaoynce on his features as his black eys gudied up into an annoyce while he was bent down among the crowd, his black eys turned up to you in the annoynce of his expression. "This is the worst nightmare of having to deal with the same thing that I hate putting up with to begin with!" He breatehd abruptly as several limbs were jolting over to his space, and Bojack's eyes snapped over to the bodies as the detachement of his own annoynce increased as he turned his eyes back upward to you. "If you're going to make the worst decision at least make sure you keep me out of it!"

"Please." Your hands pressed onto his palm with tension. "I need to see what he;s doing."

Bojack's eyes flashed. "The guy's on crack, eyah , obviously. What do you think he's doing?"

You breathed an intake as your head turned back to the bodies tha eased agsitn one another through the movement of the crowd. Your head ducked downward, and though Bojack let out a swear of a rapsy breath, he conutned to follow you, plump body eased into a ball as he continued to follow you through the thread that made up the extension of the bustling bodies of the crowd. You ducked as you made your way to the entrance of the space of the the of the crowd, already the tan peak of Brad's skin easing out as the expnas eof the open space began to unwrap in front of your eyes. You snapped your body out from the bodies tha were now more of an exntneson of gossip and exhaust of their own malicious disbelief than they were anything else as you eyes snapped up to where you saw the tan body and limbs of Brad easing onto the limbs of the woman, her fur still speckled with wha seemed like an especially illminious reflection of the light guided out from the lights of the party that suggested something not unlike a glow.

"Ow!' Bojack let out a clumsy wince of his breath as he tripped over himself to join you into the space of the circle. He settled for leaning forward as his breath erased out of his lip as he turned his body downward. He waved his ahdn at you clumsily as his eyes flashed up to you in a hard insult.

"Here we are, in the middle of the sweat induced delusional town. Can you get whatever detective style mission your own now and go back to where there's at least the attempt of dignity?"

"You can wait here." Your hands threaded onto his bloated aged cheeks, one of which filled your palm in a perfect satisfying shape as the hard look of Bojack's eyes turned up to you, but, just as there was with him, there was an emotional complciation in his eyees as the tender squint eased up to you.

"Great. I'm glad I was given permission this time."

"I need you here." You leaned forward as you pressed a kiss onto his snout, and Bojack conuitend to breath shakily as he turned his head downward, ears lowered this time in a more gentle acceptance than annoyance as his eys closed. "You're the only one who sees what I do, and I think we both need to keep by oen another for that."

"Yeah." His blunt voice jolted as his hard eyes turne dup to you. "If you want to amke sure we're both thrown into the middle of a perfect example of what makes up human patheticness and aimlessness, sure. I can practically feel how these people are drgaging me down, and I'm the one known for being a self sabtging drunk."

"I'l going to go talk to them." You began to ease your body away from Bojack, and his eyes widned as his head turned up to you with another bewildered flair.

"Now? He looks…extrememly busy?"

"No one else seems to think so." Your hands caressed away from the embrace they had on Bojack's cheeks entirely as he gave a sigh, head turning downward as his eyes closed while your embrace eased away from his cheeks as his head shook.

"I still think this is an unusual amunt of embarrassing suffering more than either of us should have to deal with."

"It'll only take a minute." Your head turned over your shoulder as you watched where Bradf had setted for easing his hips, pants down to his ankles, into thrusting them against the spider woman, her skirt raised up. It would have been a comical scenario, but with the melhcolic nature of thre light that reflected against the spider woman's fur that spiked out from her array of conlcited limbs onto the trembling of his as they were lost in the array of richness from one another, it only felt like a pinfuly romantic melchocly that was dressed a caution warning sign.

"A minute of trying to get yourself into an mess of limbs and sweat, yes." As you tried to step forward, Bojack's grasp turned you back. You snapped your head over as you looked over at his tender eyes in question. "Hey, I'm serious. Why are you doing this? They're jst two people trying to enjoy this trashy dumb party for the reason as to why I amde it. As obnoxious as it is, they're not doing anythhgn wrong."

"Why are we the only ones who can see them?"

"God, I don't know, honey. Maybe because everyone is too drunk and high to see how delusional everyone is one way or another? Everyone's sickness with overdrinking reaches everyone differently."

Your head turned back to where Brad's arms were lost in their entanglement of the spider woman, his the contnemnt showing in the etching of his features as his lips and the intimacy of it caressed the edge of her neck. Several of the woman in the back drop of the crowd where turning their heads to one another, several of them showing the guise of concern in their tone as their eys flciekd in that heat of a distant judgeemnt. Your hand squeezed onto Bojack's wrist even as he continued to stumble through the rest of the spattered end of the dense crowd, and the white noise of the talk between the rest of the crowd increased into something that spoke more of a disgruntled concern than it was of anything that spoke of the previously casual fun that surrounded the space.

"Do I really have to follow you over to them? It's bad enough that I have to be around these kind of people to begin with."

The drukenm, vaguely whiney and raspy tone of Bojack from behind you cause you to pause. You sighed as you uturned your head over your shoulder and turned to the under eye squint of Bojack as he swayed with one hand that wasn't eased into your wrist splayed out int anakward balance to keep himseelf from stumbling further over to oen side. He shrugged in that nonchalant, frusdtraed ans casual fashion when your head turned as your eyes turned up over to the drunken wince of his expression.

"I'm just saying, is it possible that this is unnecessary and that this is one of those things were people are just seeing different things based off of wherever their whisky hit them? It's not a profound train of thought to have everyone be inheribrated and to not have everyone seeing one thing or the other." He waved his one hand he was using to keep himself from stumbling to the side and falling over into a drunken peesssmistic wave, causing him to stumble to the right as his eyes widned before he tempairly caught his fall. "News flash, the same thing that was true about people and the pathetic culture of being drunk and full of spite from being drunk when it was invinted is still true to this day."

"Should we call someone?" The sound of a woman talking with her tone low in her concern increased right along with the endless white noise of the chatter that surrounded the crowd. "This seems like more than just a drug induced behavior or coma."

The other woman's eyes turned to the side of where Brad's body was slinking against the spider woman's body, his lips pressed against her own while the tender smooth satisfaction overcame his feautrees as he contuiend to ease his features against the side of her face.. Her two pink legs eased upward and against the side of his thighs, her body almost entirely threaded under his lift of her body off of the greyhound with her body twistedunder his grasp. Brad lifted up his lip from where he has himself firmly and satisfying intimate agains the woman's mouth, turning his head upward and to the two woman, where the gossip was most coherent as they contuined to turn their head over to him with the cocnenr of their statement leaving their lips. Brad chuckled as his wrist eased onto the wet of his mouth, lifting his eyesbrwps up. The spider woman seemed content in the way she was twisted under his hand and there was a profound extent tof that satisfaction trasnscdned between them as her body twisted in her satiicaiton that was rich enough that it flowed over to where you could feel it. Bojack let out a shaken breath as he continued to stumble as jarrlingly as much as he ever had, body swaying as the drunken guise of his own detachment conutiend to ease around his air.

"Do you want to see something real?" Brad eased his eyes upward as he looked between them. The woman laughed, clearly distubred as their eyes switched between one another with their laughter raied into something that was parrt mocking, part cocnenred and the last genuinely bewildered as their hands eased on each other's bodies in their own cocern. "This woman came to me a few years ago. She was walking down and there was this glow about her-it was like I was seeing the light of Los Angeles for the first time with the wya it reflected against her . I'd never seen anything like it before in my life. Since she came into my life everything else that had never made sense finally stared to-"

The spider woman laughed, her voice trickling into something that by all accounts seemed to eb trialing into what was a mundane woman's contentment, but there was a trail of an echo to it that cause you to freeze.

"Is this guy serious?" Bojack's voice was jaded in an edge as he spoke, his body stepping forward a few paces. You turned, your lip torn from the way your teeth eased onto your skin as your eyes turned over to his own squinted and drunken splay of his eyes, though that odd natural grace and guide of intelligence didn't leave him. "If all he wants to do is fuck his wife rawe in front of other people to show each other how great he is why dosen't he just do it and get it over with instead of doing a weirs emabressign spiel about it?"

The woman cleared her throat, her head tilted up as the narrow look of her eys focus ed down onto where spider women's body was threading under his hands. Her eyes trialed up, her head eased back as the white of her furry hands eased against his shoulder. He turned his head back as the wide expanse of his smile eased further onto his fsce while his cheek bones rasid up, his head tilted downward as that look of what seemed borderline on delusional bliss conuitned to dress on his expression.

"I think you should lie down for a little while, Brad. Maybe get some rest.

"We don't want to have to call the police men or anything like it." The other woman spoke dejectedly, the distant fog on her features threading forward and onto the way the twist of the body of the woman eased onto Brad's hands. He chuckled, in a way of one that was still of somewhat bliss, but there was an edge to it as his head turned up while he gazed between the two woman. Eveintley, his gaze was intense enough that it caused the both of their eyes to turn to one another, their bodies stepped back as they jolted up their lip.

"You would say that." He turned his head up as his eyes began to thread over the crowd. "Anyone here would think or say that. None of you know what it feels like to be human anymore. None of you would know even if it hit you in the face. People think they have the idea of being human but even that is just an emulation of some desperation of trying to havecontrol over the world that's been taken over by richnes and sin, and the people who fall prey into it the most lost themselves the least, and they don't even know it."

'It took me a long time to find you." The spider woman's voice was thrilled into satisfaction as her body twisted badk up into a standup right position, her hand threaded onto the back of his neck as he body was eased forward and up to the extent of the front of Brad;s eyes as he turned his head back to her-the satisfied laughter that left his lips only increased as her voice, vaguely echoed and seeming more like an imitation of the voice rather than the actual presentation of it, while her hands threaded and caressed onto the back of his neck. "But now that I have, I've never felt more sepratred from everything else that ever made me feel defeated, a victim of what rruins so may people in this town-in humanity, in general."

The woman's eyebrows flicked up into a dry sarcasm as her lips pressed together. She turned her head over to the sout and lifted raised chin of the woman who kept her head turned up in her own bewildered disgust as the woman turned her head to her and with a whisper that came from plump lips;

"Call them. Call the police." She turned her eyes back down to the glass in her hand as the large eyelidded exhaust of her expression eased down and looked into it. "This isn't something where we want to leave having even more concerns than we already did to begin with. I came here to forget pathetic and lost people who lost their minds, not to have to deals ith them."

Bojack stumbled forward and by your side, his body swaying with his air as he stood beside you.

'What is she talking about?"

Despite Bojack's natural jaded and cynical preception of what was around him, there was a soft politeness to his voice that you knew was echoed by his impossibly tender heart at the core of who he was, even noe, at the brink of what annoyed him the most; the company of people that he couldn't have felt belonging to of that of which surrounded him. Your hand reached out as your palm rested on the curve of his stomach, feeling the ease of his panted breath that came along with his chaotic emotional panic that was no doubt made worse from that of which surrounded him.

You turned your head over to one of the women. She was one that was of a particularly slender type, and her own hand was reaching towards her ceellphone. You felt your heart jolt, uncertain if you should have puleld yourself into the uncertain and cynical judgemtnl that came as easily to people as breathing more oftne than not, especially with the heat of the thick expanse of the judgement of people that surrounded the space and made evn more incosniderate than usual from the stimulation of the excess of bodies and status and the expanse of the people that surrounded the space with their own contentment ofthe fogginess of the distractions that filed the contentment of their otherwise hardly occupied minds. You were beginning to understand the exten of Bojack's loathing even as you were surrounded b the people in the crowd; for someone who played a part in the culture on the surface, there wss a romantic depth to Bojack that was out of place with the superficial uncare that surrounded so many people who were more than content, felt rewarrdeded, even, to be apart of it.

Your heart jolted as her hand turned and patted on the slender woman's shoulder. Her laughter aburlplty ceased and her eyes turned over to you, though as you heard it now it seemed like it was more of the disturbed and judgeemntsl kind of laugh that woud have come out of the lips of someone who was too superficial or inexperienced with what made up human psychology to do anything other than to judge with whatever left her realm of underestasnding.

You paused, questioning what you wanted to speak, but then the words trailed out;

"Do you see her?"

The woman's done eyebrow raised further up. She laughed, the heat leading up into her eyes. "What?"

"The woman. The girlfriend. You see her?"

The woman's eyes flashed up to where Brad was part lost in his endeavor to ease his hands onto his partner, part lost in his own edged spite that was overcoming him as he turned his head every now and then to the woman, one of which had already fully resolve to easse her hands on her cellphone as she talked in a low toned voice on the other side of it and jept her chin doen, easing her body through the crowd as she talked urgently. The woman's hand gripped your arm, forcign you back to her attneton as your head snapped over your shoulder while the woman's eyes flared up into an act or urgency.

"You need to go sit doen. If there's more people that are hallucinating here then its best that we try to lessen that as much as possible." Her eyes turned up and over to the swaying form of Bojack, who's only grounding was his hand being lazily grazed into your own as his body stumbled and swayed in his upright position. She tilted her head upward with a slight jolt of her chin. "Is your partne having the same issues?"

Your arm jolted out of her grasp. She leaned her body backward as her eyebrows threaded into her own jaded question.

"You can't see her."

The woman's eyes turned up to where Brad was now straddling the woman, his chin eased onto her chest as his body threaded her through the rhythm of their forms.

"Look, I know that its hard not to lose your mind a little bit in this world or to take too many stimulants, or to gfall into a bad or deranged headspace or whateve release it is that you and that poor washed up idiot might be dealing with."

'That's not it." Your eyes snapped back over to the man. The dry glint of exhaust in Bojack's eyes increased as he snapped his head over his shoulder with his head swaying between his stumbling, foggy form. "I wanted to see if my husband and I were the only ones." Your head turned and you met Bojack's dry, detached and foggy gaze. "You can see her, right?"

Bojack gave another clumsy shrug, stumbling forward as he gave a rasped breath. "As much as I can see any A hole in here trying to distract themselves for a night. Am I right?" His eyebrows threaded down into a cocky frown as his teeth splayed into a cocky grin. "Now i can see why so many people try to play those dumb games to distract from the side effects of how wasted they are. It would be more interesting than trying to debate the game of which woman is the weird Brad guy who's name I forgot is pleasure himself in front of."

Bojacks hands were waving out in the splay of his own gentle and natural array of dissociative detachment as his wrists waved drunkenly. There was s helpless softness to the action as his body continued to stumble by your side.. Your arm reached out as it threaded onto his arm, easing him to you as your hands squeezed against his arm, and he stepped forward while the weight of his body leaned onto yours, bloated and aged cheek following as it rested on your shoulder.

The woman indicated her chin over the crowd. People werre starting to be bored by the apparent fasnicantion of Brad and his fasnicaiton with threading his body against what he claimed dto be his wife, who was now straddling her body against his while his chin rested on her shoulde.r

"You both need to go sit down. If you're the only ones who are tripping out as bad as Brad is then we'll make sure that you both can be picked by the ambukeence. If we're going to have a mess in this party tonight than I would rather have it be sooner rather than later."

'What?" Bojack's eyes widend, his feet tripping forward as his eyelids winced. "No." he waved his hand in that aimless, drunken ass type of was as his arms flew outward. "I didn't invite yout o tell me where to fit in my own house." His head turned over his shoulder while the distant detachment in his eyes increased in hsi indifferen,ce almost granted innocent kind of childlike drunk way as he stumbled by your body. 'Go outside and get a drink and go home or somehting. Tell Bojack that he said that this was a terrible party but you thought it was great. That demotivates people from feeling welcome enough to ever come over again, but also helps my repuaution with having people havee a good opinion of me. Works every time."

The woman's eyes flashed upward, hard and delocated into her vision as her eyes snapped up. With a jolt of her body did she force herself between the both of you, Bojack letting out an awkward and abrupt drunk as his body was thrown back from the force of her hand as she rushed he rway over to there Brad and hs partner had found their contentment. She reached out her hand and slammed her grasp onto the shoulder of the pink woman, and there was a multiple array of what seemed like several transparent layers that spewed out from the sudden movement of her own twisted and snapped over heads as she snapped her eyes over to where the woman snapped her hand onto her shoulder. The spider let out a scream, her voice shrill as it raised up into the air while her arms and leggs danced forward into an array of their own detached disgruntlemtn as her body threaded backward from the crowd, the multiple layer of her body threading through her movements as she stepepd back. You blinked rapidly and for a moment did you question if you were on the drugs that the woman had patroinzingly suggested; you heard the raspy of Bojack's own blunt extent of his disgust easing against the sudden wince that overcame his expresson as shi ears snappeed down with his eyes closed and the muscles on his face cramped.

Brad turned back, the previous contentment on his features splayed out into a sudden spread out guise of surprise that eased over him as his body stepped back. His head snapped over to where you could see the spider woman testing under the grasp of the woman's hand, her body shudderign underneath the force of her grasp.

"Get off of her!" Brad tripped over his feet as he stumbled his way forward, tripping over himself as he rushed his way to the side of the woman's body. She snapped her hand away from where Brad tripped over himself trying to get her away from her evident grasp; his body twisted back as her hand snapped him away, but only for a moment.

"Whoa." You heard Bojack's own blunt express of surprise as his body tensed at the scene. Your leaned yourself forward beside him as you kept your embrace on his as much as you were able to. His ears flickered back as a guide of surprise overcame his eyes, his timid nature getting the best of him as he tensed underyou touch. "Um-"

"You don't touch her!" Brad steps stumbled forward, his arms in an array of the splay out of his body as he tripped over himself and made his way over to the front of where the woman was standing, her hand still encased onto the spider's slender shoulder. She looked vsibily in pain as her mouth splayed out into a wretched sob while her hands tried to force themselves onto the woman's grasp, but there was hardly, if any, distinct genuine commucnaiton; or any sign that the woman was even aware of the spider's force or her struggle, much less the several different hues of light folding around her mind and trembling movements as her hands reche dup and snatched onto the woman's wrist with little to any avail of success.

"There's no one to touch, Brad." The woman's voice was course, blunt and edged as Brad abutplty turned her head up and gazed at her with a blink of his own harded eyes. "You've lost it."

Brad stumbled his way forward, and, admittedly, though his clothes and tan and general style spoke of a well off man, the way his shirts were torn out from his body, his glasses skewed on his features and the way his clothes were torn and shredded from his body and stained with beer, he seemed like the fairly typical average drunk andf she stumlbed his way forward. His hands gripped onto her wrist and she gaspd as her body was abruptly twisted back under the weight of Brad's grasp, his teeth clenched as he turned his limmsb against her own and jolted her agaisntt he wall of people. The spider woman was released from what was the odd grip onto her shoulder, her body turning back as the panic in her multiple foggy eyes snapped over to where the spider was being raised back and slammed agaisnt the side of the crowd as she was torn back. One man and a fe wother women were knocked down as their bodies eased and slammed onto one antoher as Brad knocked her back. The spider women stepped back, and though she seemed released from the physical pain, the hue and the multitiuie of the layers against her body were still increasing. You took an intake of a breath that then broke into a laugh, if only just to break up the tension in yourself. Bojack's own bleak and insecure wet look in his eyes turend over his shoulder as he watch you, lovable and stoic and compelling all at once such as it always was.

"You don't get to make choices to be crazy! You're insane!" The woman's head snapped back as her body was pushed back into the crowd, her body jolted through the expense of the bodies as she was forced through it. The aburpt sneer on Brad's features didn't increased as he conuinte d to keep the grasp of his fingers firmly embedded agassint her wrist, his body throwing her into the crowd as he forced her through it.

"You don;t get to touch her like tht, you delusional bitch!"

His face was twisted into red, the muscles on his face deepened as her force threaded onto her body, one of which seemd as if it ws weakening under the foce of brad's touch. You heard Bojack give a jolt of an unertsin and timid breath as he watched, his body rested onto your own as he gave a shaken whimper. His heread turned as he looked at you and over.

"Should I do something?"'

"I don't know if there is any way of helping certain people after a certain point. That's the part that people don't like to admit, both for themselves when they find themselves in that place and for others."

"Jesu." Bojac's eyes widened despondtley as his head turned up to the crowd. "Is that really how you're seeing this guy? I think he's just trying to get his side piece, and for some reason this woman has aproblem with it."

"I didn't just mean Brad."

Bojack's stoic, mature expression turned as he looked at you, at odds with the swaying o his air.

"You weren;t referring to us too, right? Because there were multiple intentions in your tone just now tht would suggest that you were."

The worry of your eyes threading through the crowd increased as you watched the crowd begin to step back their chatter threading upward and into the air as their heads turned to one another and guided their chatter as they talked. You gripped your hand onto his wrist, and Bojack let out a mumbled grunt as he followed you, feet tripping over himself as you rushed your way past the open area. The spider woman was stepping back. The rest of the crowd was occupied by their own observation of Brasd, who was keeping his hands firmly gripped on the woman's wrist as her body was twisted back, her own face seething as she spat out her own insults to him as his body shook against heer.

"Get off of her, asshole!" Several woman came tripping oover to him, the man's own seething trembling as he fought with his own disocmort and violence. Bojack was panting heavily as his head snapped over his shoulder while he followeed you through the crowd, his had snapping over to where you were leading him until you stood in front of the naturally apologteic air of the spider woman, her eyes dimmed as she looked between the both of you. Bojack panted deeper as one hand rested onto his knee, turning fornward as the breath left him while he leaned forward with his own exhaust increasing.

"I think we…should call the..cops." He barely managed it as the words left his lip while his eyes, tender and precious with their natural manchild fragility as hisi expresson snapped to you. His hand waved lazly as he indicated to where the woman was twisting under Brad's entnagelmtn of the women; enough people were now tugging and pulling at his limbs and forcing him off of her, though he kept reaching out and snapping his body and hand against them while he kept his handa forced on the woman as he conuitne dto throw her back. "I know these a holes did it, but I think they're going to be confused on which ones to blame unless we do it-" A interruption of his own panting that gave away how unhealthy he was as he turned his head downward, ears laced back. "First."

Your arm slung around Bojack's panting as you pulled him into you. Your eyes turned up as you looked a the oider woman, who eased her eyes between the btoh of you.

"You dodn't need to invovloe yourself." Her voice was distant but presnet as she spoke, echoing the sentiment of someone only haald present in their words. "You've done as much as anyone ever could given their power-or lack of."

"I'd like to think that's what I could tell my wife." Bojack's body was leaned forward as his breath continued to ease out into a pant. His eyes turned up into a slight unarractive glare as his expression eased over her body. "So what are you, the hot wife who does magic tricks? Because doing it when everyone is already drunk or high hardly counts."

The spidedr woman stepped back, her eyes flickering over to where she looked at where Brad was still wrestling with the woman; though there were enough men now that were tripping over themsleevs trying to pull him off, and with the sputtering of the woman's lips and the wide eye of her panic threading through her vision, there seemd to be enough people that were starting to keep him from genuinely haraming her, though the way he was trembling still suggested something that was fast from anything even remotely resembling a peace of mind.

"I shouldn't have all this way." She stepped back, and the rest of the crowd had started to spew out into a detach delocation from the circle as they turned and talked to one another, voices raising into the air that came from something akint to panic. "I shouldn't have come all the way here, in a place where he's so vulnerable. it was wrong of me, I knew it would lead to this-"

"What are eyou talking about?" Bojack's blunt question met the ease of the strike in his eyes, and she turned her head down as she shook it. The look of her very physical body seemeing as if it was transcending over through the expanse of the layers and hue of what surrounded her were starting to get to an extent where there was nothing except for a white and heavy pink fog that surrounded the nature of what she was experiencing, her prescende seeming as if it was melting in itself as her eyes threaded and fogged in panic.

"I need to go. I overestimated what we could hande." Her eys snappd over to where Brad had now violently twisted the woman to the left side, causing her body to choke as her was thrusted against the crowd. Bojac raised up his hands as hsis ears splayed back while his athena raised up in defnese. Your own eyes kept snapped onto the woman as you watched her begin to thread her way through the bodies, though it seemed that she was moreso easing himself through them with an act of nonexistence more than anything else as her body began to ease through htem, the lack of physicality or tanaibleiity she had to her body giving away just how much she was becoming further into quesitonality as she melted her body through the expanse of the crowd. Bojack's timidn wet eyes were focused on Brad, his hand now just being gripped away from where it was snapped onto the wowmna's wrist as his teeth clenhced; one hand reached out and snapped him away, and the force of what he had used on her began to fall downward entirely as the woman's body fell down to the ground, eyes we,t desperation painted on her wet eyes as her expression turne dup.

"You don't get to involve yourself in things you don't understand!" Brad's voice cracked into a sense of madness, enough that it made Bojack's already timid position jotl as his ears flew back, the pout on his uncertain features increased as his two hands cramped onto his chest. Your head snapped over your shoulder as you watched where the spider women was starting to force her way through the crowd, tripping over her feet and her form becoming increasingly less disgsinited from the pink fog that surrounded her as her trnaspent form rushed through the crowd and over to the large form of the open grey doors tha mde its wya to the driveway of Bojack's house. "You stupid bitch-you wouldn't get something like this" His body jolted back, and the only thing that kept his violence from reaching a deranged degree was his arms snapping behind himself as his head thrusted back to the several larger men that were trying to pull him back against his arms. His head snapped backward as his teeth clenched, head snapped backward as the throbbing of his eyes flew over to where the woman was choking as her body slammed down onto the ground, her eys easing up as the bottom of her lip trembled, partly with rage, though the emotion that flew across her face came from a multitude of emotion.

"Sweetheart, come on." You reached behind you and snapped your hand on Bojack's palm, who turned with his lip poked out as his own wet and bewildered saddened eyes snapped downto your hand. Bojack's head turned even as the puffiness of his eyes squinted towards his own docnenr, mature enough in his emotional distance to separate himself from being lost in the emotional disrray and emotional messy excess of the crowd, but there was that childish guise of cuirosty in his eyes as he snapped his hhead over his shoulder while.

"Is he ok?" Bojack's eyes shined with his own light of question a he turned to look at you. "The gay seeems really brurutal about the entire thing. It's not something he just came up with for the sake of it or because the whiskey hit him a certain way."

Bojck's fingertips scratched on his beck, the timid unceritnity flashed in his eyes as he turned his head downward. You tried to speak but your head snapped over to where you saw the illumination of the spider woman rushing her way out to the door; her head was turned over her shoulder while she flashed the fog of his eyes over to where there was the several people whee now threading and crowisng over to where the mn was now stumped back, breath encasing out of his lips as his thighs stumbled against the rest of the crowd as his body eased back, breathing and painting still heavy while his arms grazd against the rest of the crowd that was now attempting to keep him upright, dpsite the odds of how he was still trying to jekr himself up and over to the woman. When she screamed at the way he lunged over at her, the breath of his ows shaken concnetraion was broken. His eyes widend as his head snapped over his shoulde rover to where the door was open, his mouth askwed open as his arms were thrusted back abruptly through the rest of the people that held him back behind himself as three men stepped around his body, and one woman thrown back from behind him as she tentatively tried to keep her hands on his shoulders.

"Darling!" The man called out, his voice breaking up into a tremble as his voice called out to the extension of the rest of the polluted air of the drugs and drinking and the various smell of bodies that surrounded the expanse of the space of the foggy laden air that eased into the extension of the air. His head titled back, his eyes still red in his own desperation as he snapped his head to the side, the only thing keeping his body from running out being the several people that grasped onto his body. 'Darling!" His arms thrusted, and the breath was abruptly knocked out as one hand slammed behind his head while his expression twisted in pain. "Darling, please!"

"Are you sure we should leave him? Like…this?" Bojack's voice was tentative and tender as his voice trmebled in what was the tone of innocence only he could manage in that graceful way. Your head turned over your shoulder as you watched him with your eyes dimming, threading back and forth between his as your expression eased into your own exhaust.

"I think he's made his point."

"Well, obviously." Bojack's eyes winced up as they looked at you with their uncertain ease on his expression. "But what I meant was is it a good idea to make him stay here? Freaking out?" His head turned while his expression twisted into his own uncertainty while his head turned to the side of his shoulder and over to where the man was letting out his own cackled desperation enough that it had a haunting wobble to ti as it flashed out into the air. "There' s afew vaulablees i have in here, probably somewhere, and I obviously wnt to make sure that there's not more people with that general..hradspace."

Bojack;s fingertips were easing onto his wrists, and your eyes turned down as you saw the tentative nervousness of him while your eyes turned downward. You hand reached out as it guided onto his fingertips, squeezing them as he gave a slight whimper and turned his head back to you in his uncertain question. He let out another grunt, eyes turned down as he felt the way your hand eased onto his fingertips while you squeezed them; after a moment, he allowed the nervous movements of his fingertips to caress against your fingers as your hands guidided over and into the spaces of his.

"They have him down."

"Yeah, Literally."

The man let out a hollowing scream, enough to make Bojack;s eyes widend as he snapped his head back over his shoulder and over to the man, who's body kept testing under the extension of the men that were now swearing at him with hushed tones and hardened eyes turned over to the expanse of the rest of the crowd, all who now had settled for turning back while their heads turned over their shoulder as they talked to one another lowly. Bojack winced as he cringed in himself, then eased his timid eyes back up again with his ears lowered back.

"I think we need to check on the woman."

Bojack's bottom eyelid raised up, worn and bloated as his eyes eased between your own. "Seriously?"

"She didn't seem well. They have hold of him, he's fine. We should make sure she's ok-that's the main concern I think we should focus on right now."

"Yeah, she left the party with her emotions all over the place and crazy. That's what these parirites are supposed to do to someone. But this guy-" He breathed inward as his eyes lowered down and onto your fingertips that rested on his wrist as he let out a noise of clumsy uncerinity-it was adorable with vulernaility. "They have him down, sure. But he's just one, and I'm worried that there's going to be a chance that there's more, and I have some…things that I want to keep with me and make sure they don't get knocked down-because I knwo that if I stay here that there's probably a lot more guys like that, or anyone in general, and I want to make sure that dosen't happen."

His eys were winced into that tender wince that made up his apologetic wet eyes as he turned his head upward with his ears lowered badk, and even the clumsy way the words lef thi slips showed off his naturally gentltness and his own adorable apology that made up his own air. You laughed quietly, turning yoru head over to him as you made your way over to him with an ease and squeezed your hands onto his.

"You give me a belief in something, do you know that? That I can be something other than what the world and people have told me-that I can be something that I was told everywhere else I wouldn't be close to good enough for."

Bojack winced, his ears splayed out as he watched you, though there was just as much an natural wet romanticism in his eys a s the curious desire for more. "What?"

You indicated your head over to where the man was finally being eased down onto the floor, the other woman besides rising herself up along with the hands of the few woman that were helping raise her up.

"I think whatever happened with that man, with his partner, its no unlike what we do for one another."

"Very poetic. Or there could be the idea that everyone here is just hitting their whisky in different ways."

Bojack's eyelids were lowered in his exasperation, and your head turned down as you pressed your fingertips onto his and began to make your way up the grey steps; Bojack was diagurnlted and stumbling enough in his hungover fog that his raspy uncerinties and the bretah under his lip increased as he tripped over his feet and followed you up the stairs, vaguely awar eof the soft slew of words that left his lips as he allowed his durnen form of a body to follow you up the steps.

"Are we seriously doing this?" Bojakc's voice was more of a question now than it was anything that was judgeemtnal, a guide of general question in his tone that softened as he began to follow you out of the door. You made your way down the steps, and after the sound of a heavy rasped breath did you feel the wya Bojack followeed you down the stairs, tripping over himself as he followed you.

"Ok. Ok." You turned as Bojack's hands eased up while he muscles on his face cramped while he closed his eyes for a moment, asif in a settled concnerntaration as he closed his eyes. He stumbled as his arms reached out and swerve his body over to the stairs, stumbling up them as syou followed. He turned, suroisngly gracefully for someone with his disposition while he lifted up a hand in front of his expression in what was the attempt of savvy indication. "if you're going to drag me along to find this woman chick who clearly had more issues than anyone would be able to guess or solve to begin with, at least let me make sure that I get the care keys so we cna follow her."

Bojack grunted as he finished his gesture, hands waving in front of him mockingly as he turned around and stumbled to rhe door, murmuring under his lips. You followd, your hands caressed onto the side of your arms as you began to follow him up the grey stairs. Bojack was stil mumbling something incoherenlty as he reached out his hand and opened the door, stepping inward. You sat yourself down onto the grey step, your hands threading against one another as your body eased down onto the grey steps as the dry exhaust of Bojack's eyes turned while he looked over at you with a sway of his inheriebted form.

"Stay here, don't get nay more ideas, and I'll make sure at the veyr least the lleast weirdest thing we do toniught is follow this random manic woman out and into the street." He waved his hand lazily as he began to stumble his way inside, stumbling his way against his feet as he did so. You heard the man shout agai;nl another pet name that was flowing and warbling from his lips as he spoke out from the crack of his tone, causing you to wince as your threaded your hands together; not because of any surprise or even disturbance of the fact, but because of where the thread of the night had led so far, and where it was going in regards to your own following of it that was the occsioanll suggestion of spoitual clairty, only to fall away again into the back of what making up the otherwise bewildering night.

You turned your head up to the expanse of the street in front of you, watching as you saw the hue of the several layers of light that was spilling out from the hue of her slender body as she tugged the black dress back onto the curves of her form, esing two of the bottom arms against the dress as she finished pulling it over her body. She stepepd over herself as she opened the side of the pink sport's car that welcomed her into it, easingher body against the chair as she reached out another hand and threaded it knot the car door and slammed it. With a twist of one of her right hands she reached herself outward to the machinery and snapped her fingertips onto the controls, then turned her head over her shoulder, the see through expanse of the hue of the pink of the layers of her body esing both with her while as threading awy from the air of her hue as eh yellow o the topless car she had driven in with Brad began to backup and over to the gate.

You leaned your back up, your eyes threading over to where you saw the woman began to ease the car back out onto the road. The light that was surorunering was increasing in its neon light as it threaded and floated around her car, the tires squealing agsitn it until the distant protrue of the pink fog that surrounded the black air and the occsional sounds of the tire squeaked against the road while the car began to make its way down the street, As you watched the car rushed down the road, the contrast of the neon pink against hte otherwise polluted blakc and foggy bleu clouds that surrounded and eased in front o the city buildings as the stagnant light threaded between the night, you kept your head leaned up, lip jutted out as you tried to conentrate the majority ofyour focus onto keeping an eye on the foggy pink air and the energy of it as her car contuiened to drive down the road.

"Yes, yeah-and hey now, don't put too much pressure onto the poor woman. She's been through enough for one woman that saw everything she had to tonight from a man that dosne't know how to handle his pussy." Bojack was chucking as he made his way through the door, easing his body against it as he made his way outward while his nervous laughter and his throaty, genuine attempt at cockiness to appear that sense of confident belonging took the majority of his air as she shoved his way out of the chuckoign continued as he made his way out, hands threading on the side of the door as he made his way out and shut it. As soon as it was closed from the rest of the mindless chaos that made up the excuse and label for a party his expression eased down, his body leaned onto the door as that dry and natural worn look of an expression overcame his face as his eyes turned down to you and walked his way over to where you were sitting.

"You know what, maybe you were right. No matter how annoying it is trying to chase women who act like she does, or trying to figure out what's going on in their head or why, the worst thing would be seeing the grande epiliouge of that man's personal breakdown. If er come back and there's nothing but a lot of ambulances in front of our house, I will not be surprised, nor disagree."

Bojack grunted under his reath as he made his way overt to the steps, his head turning to you as you kept your body eased onto the steps. You could feel that white wide look of deep concern that eased inot his eyes as his head turned while he gazed at you, one arm rested against his knee in that natural way he had a tendency of doing in an awkward but ultimately carefree lovable fashion.

"Are you ok?"

His voice was threaded into that gentleness that felt like home, both the most jaded person in the party, while still sounding like the most soulful person that you knew would speak that night. Your head turned down, reaching out as your fingertips squeezed onto his, he reesponded, stout branwy fingertips threading onto your own as his lip rasid upward tentatively.

"I used to like these kind of parities. Distractions in general, relly. Like a lot of people I found relief in how it distracted me from whatever it was that wa sinhabiting the majority of what I was or what masd eup the narrative of my life, which was usually heavy and none too forigivng."

Bojack's eyes eased over your own body, eeys naturally guided into question as the wet of them threading over you, unraveling you into a way that led you to a gentle sense of home without even meaning to, as it was for the both go you. "But now anymore?"

"I think after a certain point you prefer the heaviness and the pain, even and esociallly if its killing you. The isoaltion feels like permisson for how muhc pain you're in. After a certain point, being around happy people, or even just people roleplaying as happy happy, feels like an insult. You'd rather just prefer the peace of an atmopshere that agrres with you, even if its terrible and matches what you wish you could overcome inside of you."

From the corner of your eye you could see the light of Bojack's wet question ease downwward, the expression on his face lessing into an emotional that was both mature and intimatiing with emotional intelligence, precious with the want of being carried and being hopeless at the same time.

You lip curved up, more as a force than of anything else as you began to ease your body up. Bojack's eyes turnd up as he watched you, letting out a grunt as he rasid his body and stood beside you.

"I think that may be how she's feeling now."

Bojack's eyes switched from your face and over to the hills. A question of judgemental apology entered his eyes as his expression eased up you.

"The wife?" His hand scratched behind his neck as his head turned over to the road. "I think she made ehr choice, either way. Either way, there was never any sign or consensus that it should be our problem."

"If nothing else, finding people like that are grounding them will keep you, or anone else, from having to deal with that inside of there."

Brad's noises and the geenerla disgurntlemnt of his screams were stil raising up into the air, voice wobbling and threading into something that soudne dboth maddening and pathetic. Bojack closed his eyes, expression desolate as his breathed and tuend his head up to the extension of the hills as the distant unceritnity easd up into his eyes.

"Ok." He paused as he eased his head to you. "That is a good point."

There was a blunt superficiality to Bojack, but there was something aout his easy detachment from others that fuled and inspired your ownw ant for the warmth that discovered and carried the both of you. You turned your head as you snapped it over to the hill, walking your way down the steps; Bojack followed as his feet tripped over themselves, though he kept his hand pressed onto yours as agudience as he followed you to where his own red topless car, comign now to be your own ownership as much as his, met between the both of your stumbling steps and over to the car.

"Can you drive?"

"Of course I can, unless you plan on making me run down the street completely bent out of shape, which we both know wouldn't happen even if my entre career deepeneded on it."

He swore as his fingertips struggle with the keys, his eyes then lightning up as he balanced the keys precariously knot his fingertips. He eased the keys into the car while the engine groaned to life as he made his way inward. His head turned over to you as his eyes threaded onto you own, and you made your way inside, feeling an gentle embarrassment at not being able to drive, and feeling all the more admired and cared for by Bojack thst he would do something he less than half believed himself, and the dry and worn exhaust in his face didn't lessen as the light dimmed from his eyes as he started up the car.

There was a warmth o profound humanity that came over you for a moment. For all the superficality that made up your own conversations, the party and detachment of the people that were inside the house with their party, the general uncaring and cynical feeling of the general population of the unremakrbale pattern of how it had been and always would be, there was something about being surrounded by and intimate with Boajck's presence, of the bittersweet but compelling story he carried wih him in and of himself that helped you to be able to guide and help yourself to find that humanit yand the profound feeling of being alive in the way it should have been in life, of a rhythm of a specific way of a delicate eneds of loving the right people witht he right purpose and of being met by the right eneds asd gathering of the surrounding purpose; it wasn't that it was impossible, it was that life was tragic and formed into giving someone a life other than that, and you had very little not been the victim of that as were most, whher admitted dor not, and the only way out was to become the opposite of anything that would have attracted that life.

But Bojack stuck the keys in the car as he turned his head up, the edge of the under eyebags of his already worn face eased upward into the bleak tint of his exapsrated eyes, but he was doing it, alcohol and negative thouhts and the superfificla infludnence of those that surrounded and challenge him and all, and as he turned his arm back on the chair with that worn look on his aged and vaguely bloated features that had become worn with the wear of how life had ruined him, it had only made him prfeclty catered towards thst profound humanity that once tasted even for only a few bittersweet glimpsoes of a moment could eb enough to give soemeine faith throughout a long and unforgiving life, though problems that could be so easily solved but weren't and cased by the very people who could solve them; but you felt that paralizaying fasicaiton overcome you that was nothing less than extneisve relief of emotion as it flowed over your perception as you wwatcched the wear of Bojack's disgruntled air made his way ou of the golden gate that sat under the clouds of the Los Angeles sky.

"Here we go." Bojack's voice was gruff, though already through even just a slight change in the muscles on his face of humor and excitement did you recinginze that mischief of his own satisfaction as his eyebrows threaded into an excited detmerination. His hand reached out as it snapped onto the wheel as he turned the car out and into the street. He breathed deep, and a handsome content smile erased up on his snout as he turned his head back while it flowed over him fully for a moment. You felt that grounded feeling overcome you further, as well as an odd reassured comfort, despite the wall of ominous fear that came from precviving the hand guided on the wheel as he began to drive his way down the street, his head turned to you as you tried to keep your focus on the opening street flowing in front of you.

"Did this women give directiosn to where she randomly decided to levee and start stumbling down the road without any closure towards hrr deranged lover, or is this just something I'm supposed to know from the start?"

You lip cruevd up at Bojack's dry question, the handsome ease of his own exhausted and black bagged wrinkld eyes turning towards you and seeming modled into a certain unconvntionaloty that was specifically dressed up to the noted by you.

'She didn, actually. Or something similar to iu."

Bojack's head turned as he his squinted in a part playful mocking. "She did not." He lifted finger, accompanying his dry expression into a contrast of having not zest for play while the movement of his hands spoke otherwise. "Rule number one of me asking ridicikious question; there's not supposed to be an answer to it, and especially not one that I have to think about. That ruins the entire point of asking ridiculous questions and hoping that there's no answer that I have to think about on the other side of it."

"You saw her the same way i did."

"Yeah." Bojack chuckled as his heavily lidded dry eyes snapped over to you. "The same whisky induced coma, I get it."

"Can you see her now? The sign of whatever it is she's pressing out into te sky."

"Pressing out." Bojack chcukleed as his teeth flashed while his eyes winced while turning over to you in a teasing mock. "I wouldn't call a woman who's trying to be abel to not be noticed but just has thhta look-" His fingertips tapped onto the wheel as she shrugged his shoulders, then breatehd out a sign- "-that wouldn't have some creeps like you and i trying to stalk her down for whatever reason."

Your head continued to tilt as you tried to look over the care shield as much asyou were abl.e Bojack's own wet eyes tune d towards you, and even from that action you could feel his own qusesitning and the ccowardily impossible gentleness hat made up the spirit inside of him-your hand reached out across the car, and after a few more drives down Beverly Hills, the sides of the mansions and the exclusivity of the beginning to ease away into a smaller more modest houses as the hill began to ease away from the bird's eyeviews of the hills, did you feel his chubby hand rest onto yours. Your fingertips threaded onto his as you gave him a squeeze. A bittersweet feeling of that profound feeling washed over you again, made veen more oddly painful knowing that specific hue of preciousness came from a place of both torment and intimacy as he reached out his hand and gave you both intimacy and his wrecked uncerintity at the same time as his troubled eyes turned up, easing hsis nout up to the sky, taking it seriously in that movement that always et against a troubled heart a smooch as Bojack's eevn when the surface was teasing, handosme in intention and even more precious and lovable because of his own timidn fear. He eased his fingertips on you as his palm guided onto your hand, though you felt his own troubled rasp leave his lip eevn as he kept his intimicty on you.

Your eyes passed out over to the top of the cloudy expanse of the black hue that made up the sky that was rasied over the buildings. Your teeth grazed on your lip as Bojack's own tender worried eyes eased over his shoulder and over to you in a subconscious question every now and then.

"These signs-is it something I'm going to run into anytime soon?" Bojack's gruff voiced raised out over through the threading of the crisp breeze that made up the admittley foggy and tinted air of Los Angeles, especially the more the hoses became more lowered and inherently modest, some of them even indsistungihsble from stores the more low nd squezre rooted they were with one story. "Because as well practiced as I am at driving drunk, there' the second wave that happens where I started to feel myself falling asleep, and I haven't quite practiced mastering that one, on the wheel or not."

"She was driving down the hill. It was only a second or two before you came out."

Bojack snapped his two lips together as he took an intake, a pathetic and reprochable inward take that spoke of a timid statement that followed. His eyes darted over to you.

"Well, you know what they say about woman who want to get away from parities, or the man they dedicated themselves to that just lost themselves. Or anyone in this sie of town in general. Essentially just someone who makes crack in their head and gets out so fast its hard to imagine that they were ever there to begin with-which is usually their understandable intnetin."

Your eyes cintuiend to searched through the moving houses that eased past your eyes, and Bojack's expression turned to you in his uncertain check up on you now and then, bottom of his eyelids wincing as he began to slow the car to a dull lull while his worried expression turned to you now and then. The builinds were starting to slow down right along with Bojack's own bravery for driving; he could hear his reset of a heavy breath as equally troubled and crossfaded eyes and nervous quick glances of his heaviness of his expression turned over to the buildings now and then, melhcooony on his expression that was swihcing between his own paranoia of the coty in general and, as you assumed from the your emotions were intertwined, the general fear of the wall that had started to succumb over both of you that came from an uncertain wall of invsisbible uncertainty.

"Keep going, darling." Your fingertips eased onto Bojack's palm, and he breathed shakily as his head turned to you, eyes troubled. "If she;s not here we can turn ourselves around.

"And what?" Bojack's eyes turned up to you, ears flickered back into his own question of his trouebeld and durknen tied ues. You turned as you ssw his expression easing forward into the passing buildings. "If we were going to see that tripping trouebeld woman it probably would have happened by now. I think we should just head back and try to keep things as teady as we can with the freaks we left behind, huh?"

His voice had tha raise of his own doubt and fear in it. You eased backward as you tried to keep your eyes strained onto the passing small low buildings as your eyes threaded over them. Your hand squeezed against Bojack's as you wwatcehd the failry desolate-at least for the very turning city of Los Angeles-easing past your eyes, only several people talking between one anoter in their mundae night comfortable conversation as the half open, hald light buildings continued to ease by.

"Alright." You saw Bojack's eyes flick over to you, and in his own catious and stoitc way fid you see the relief flash through his eyes.

"Seroulsy?" He breath in, relief gudining through his eyes as his expression ligthtned. "Thank God. I think I saw and was told enough of whatever drunken crackhead lore I was told for one night tonight."

"I just thought I would be able to at least talk to her."

"Why?" Bojack's hands threaded onto the wheel as the car began to turn, easing it into one of the dakr allies between two long roofted lingerie stores of a self made brand showing itself out through the chipped paintings of the advertisements.

"I just don't want her to have a bad opinion of you. Of our place."

Bojack chuckled. You turned your head as your lip raised up into half sentiment of wanting to follow him with whatever he was coming from in how he repsodned to your specific phsilsiophy and dressing up of the world.

"It seems dangerous, is all. I know what people in this town are like, and I just don't want th-"

"Honey, no one is going to have an opinion to the point where its worth all of this. Especially on a night and on a day like this specifically." His jaded tried charamatsic eyes turned up to the rearview mirror in a cocky tease. "Believe me, if having an opinion was something that gave any nobody a power, most people in this city would be drop dead by now. Anyone can have an opinon on anything, but if they're just another stumbling object for some horny jerk or otherwise, it hardly matters. I mena,-" He shurgged, that boyish mocking and timid teasing on his expression as he shurgged. "-Seriouskly, you think some deranged woman who was the obehjct of someone as questionably admirable a Brad is going to make a difference at this point?"

"I just want to be able to find her. She seemed unhinged. You never know what someone might try to do."

"Yeah, whatsomeone important might try to do." Bojack's eyes wer lowering into dry exasertion from the heaviness of his eyelids as he snapped his dry pupils over to you. "Once again, and I've already stated this and made it clear, this woman is someone who looks like she was the extension of someone who was drugged into being Brad;s choice distraction from whatever deranged crisis he's going through. Hardly our problem, unless we kep driviing in which case I'm sure something eventually will let us both know that it is."

"It just seemed like she had bggae-"

"Oh, my god. It's the human race. It's Los Angeles. Everyone has baggage!"

-"But..with what she said, before she left." Your eyes turned down as you twisted your wrist onto the front of your other hand, the other one dressed in the firmly embedded itnimacty of Bojack's had that made up all the stimulaitons and the guidance of what made up the complex compact expeirence of humanity. "She sounded like she wss trying for help, or calling for it."

Bojack's eyes turned over to you, and the cocky and all too easy confident expression that had been dressed on his snout a second before was starting to ease down into a smooth concern, the natural love'rs genetleness taking the forefront of his expression as his eyes turned to you.

"Honey, you know that she'll be fine, right? She seemd in control. Whatever she spilled out tonight, it ws probably just some leftover emotional baggae of whatever she had going on in her head before."

Your head shook as your other hand twisted on your clothes, the other threading your fingertips against his in a rhythm. Bojack's eeys darted to you as he drove the car out of the dakr alleyway, the car stopping on the precise of it while he stopped on the edge of the buildings.

"I just feel like there was something veyr about her, about what she was saying. I want to know what it ws. Life and experience isn't inheirntly connected or bad; its just that so many people fall into tthat narrative and feel that way until everyone manipulates themselves into thinking there's no choice. I don't think its fair me to feel that and to have someone like that who's clearly reaching out and to not try to follow her and give that to her-"

"Ok, ok.' Bojack breath in as his hands caressed on the wheel. His eyebrows lifted as his dry eyes turned to you in question. "I get it, sweetheart. I got it. But there's still the issue of not knowing where she is or what that looks like, and even if we did find her there would be no promise you would know how to say the right thing." He lifted up a finger, his expression dry in his sarcasm of his self aware of what was a superficial but ulaimtley useful tool of knowledge. "One thing I know if that you don't try to make someone elses' problems your problems, and if you do there's usually an entire bound of other thread of problems beyond that. Is that what we want?"

Your eyes contuiend to ease over the streets as your eyes threading over the lights and the stores inside the houses, You lip pressed togetehr as your body eased onto the chair as Bojack's own worried eyes watched you, as grounding and comforting in their worry towards you as much as they were profound and compelling.

"It just dosen't feel right, leaving her without tyring to figure out where she was coming from."

"Well-" He ashurgged as his ears lowered and his eyes flicked downward. "You can't change what's already gone and past, right?" His expression turned up to you in question, dry and wonr and durken, and as your head turned to meet Bojac's stoic and durken, worn and tired but asotundly handsome guise of an expression, you saw just how worn his face really was, and the full extnet of the exhaust that was in his expression. You shook your head your you raised his hand hand up where your fingertips were curled against the spaces of his hand, pressing your lip against the knuckles as you gave him a slight pressing of your lip onto his hand.

"You're right." Your eyes turned up as it met the trouebeld expression of Bojack, his lip naturally gudied into a pout of uncerinity as his wet eyees weased onto your movements. Your lips raised up from where you had your fingertips threaded onto his palm as you took in the nostgtila and profound reflection of his eyes and the trembling trouble of them as his expression esd up to you, the apology on his fac eoverwashing him as he took a gentle breath and watched how your fingers eased on his palm. "I'm sorry."

Bojac's eyes flciered in that timid uncerintity he held, but his eyes turned up a she watched you while his lip raised up. "Yeah?"

"This world is making me, has made me, incredibly hard and unfeeling and impossible nto to be bitter and uncaring a lot of them time, and even as I don't want to be that person I find myself stoken from the wamrht I crave from his life anyway, and being made fun of for it makes it all the worse. I guess I try to find the hope of humanity in small things as much as I get the choice to-to feel that wamrht and innocence where there' sno discours,e judgemental, measurement of anything of anyone else other than being alive; and espially when I get to do it with the one window that gives me that, which is you."

Bojack's eyes flciked down only for half a moment as his exoressione ased down in tht reflection of melancholy in his eyes. He raised his shoulders up, easing his bidy back into an upright position as his body threaded onto the chair behind him, his other one rested knot yours.

"And you're surre you're ok with leaving her behind?" He paused, teeth poking out in his uncertain question as his eyes threaded over your own. "It's not too-wrong, for you, at all?"

"Let's go back home." Bojack head' titled down as she reset himself while he readjusted his body, pressing his hand on the wheel as he began to move the car back out in the street. "I think I psuehd us both too far tonight with the way eveyrhitng has gone. We have enough to worry about."

Bojack beath in deep, as if resetting his body aand the general air of what we knew was his insecurity about pushing any part of you into something that would have made you uncomfortable or him guilty; guilt waas like position for Bojack, and there were times more often than not that he tried his best to function despite his every waking move of his paranoia that this was the decision hat would push you over the edge, despite there never having been one to begin with, despite you making it clear every time that there was no such thing with the two fo you, but, as was executed through the timid raise of his teeth as the guidance of unceerinuty in his wet eyes, there would be a lifetime og loving him snd beyond for that-and you didn't midn or feel cheated either way.

"Ok." His expression was one of gentle agreement as his lip rasied up, soft eyes easing to you as his lip raised up into almost a shy gudience of permission given to him. "As long as you're sure."

"If it feels good, it's for a reason. I don't think forcing you out here when you're already tired and drunk from a aprty that is more of a handful than you need if something that could ever feel good. Not for me."

Though there was a soft hue of warmth on Bojack's expression, it eased away into something that seemd like a consderable dread, though it only reached the hidden extent ofd his eyes and the slight raise of hi slips as he eased the car out of the buildings. The buildings passed by the both of you as Bojack began to drive hsi way through the stores again, low hanging and the lights becoming increasingly more dim as he made his way past the buildings were several store owners were starting to ease their hads onto their closing signs asnd were beginning to make their way ou to the crisp air of the city. Several of them turned as they watched Bojack and the car roll by, one of the few to ease by the stores throughout the suroisngly distant and quiet night. Bojack's eyes were squinting in what seemed like thought as his palms guided and threaded onto the wheel, and you could tell there was a nervousness to his narrative, despite whatever he would have wanted to execute as something otherwise.

Your hesd turned, and there was a permission to the way you turned as Bojack's hands eased onto the wheel, hsi head turned up and over to the streets in front of him as it began to raise up to the buildings. He seemd vaguely awkward at first, his hands threaded onto the wheel as his eeys flashed to you own.

"You know that if we did find her it probably would have just been more drunken bullshit nayywa, right? The thing about people is that they usually start out as something you want to be around because, oh, look, stimualiton and excitement and valdiaiton of existence, but something I noticed is that after a while people just start to stress and test you until there's nothing left and all you want is to be left alone and to figure yourself out, and no matter ho weird isolation is, a lot of the time its the only way you can find pece or to regrow form whatever stretching or abuse that person put you through."

"Don't worry about it, honey." You voice was quiet but accepting as you readjusted your body against the chair. "We're going home." You shurgegd, trying to play along to Bojack's philosophy as he spoke it, though the uncerinity of the flciker of his eyes tuned over to you, still wiht that dilation in his eyes that suggested the vauge guise of his panic that he ws trying to hide under the layer of tryingt o remin civil. You turned your head over to him as you watched his teeth opok eout while he keot his trouebeld eyes on the road, his fingertips htreadsed onto the wheel in a distinct separation of the guse of his hand's nevrousness against the wheel.

"Don't balme yourself." Bojack's expression eased down as the muscle son his face cramped; there was a vague tension in hsi expression, though ti unclenheced as wuikclya s it came as he rolled up his shoulders and reset the tension in hsi body as much as he was able, though you could still bread his natural conflicted tension on his face as your hands squeezed onto his.

"Ok."

His voice was ssomer, dffferent from the carefre playful air he could posses so easily. Your head turned a syou looked over to where the rest of the store buildings has begun to make their way back to sveeral houses that were of the more modest type on every end of the buildings as they sat on their end of the road, the cliff of the city lights of Los Angeles already starting to form against the side of the cliff that was gradually starting to ease into more prominence along with the compliment of the lights and the cliff while it peeked out from the buildings every now and then.

Your eyes closed and you tried to keep the turning of burning away from your mindset and your eyes as your hand threaded onto Bojack's, feeling the ease of the breeze caressing onto your features as you tried to find your sentiment. Your head turned up to Bojack's hous e that was still a littel ways away, sat against the rest of the buildings and especially sepatre, normally harldy able to be seen; but tonight there was enough lights snapped on, enough silloueetes of shadows of bodies and the throwing of cups agaisnt one another with lips encased and ripped open along with imspulive bodies smahsing agaisnt one another that it was clear a anything and stuck out from the rest of the nieghborhood in its own chaotic allure. Bojakc reathed a broken sigh, and you turned your head as you watched the trouble in his eyes increase, and though you offered hiim a kiss and a guidance of your lips onto his hand every now and then, there was only the gentle ease of him coming to accept his subcicnious guilt that could have help the situation.

"You know that no matter who you are or what situation you're in, there's always going to be an inheeiernt stneght and worth in it as long as you know yourself. Life has all different ways that someone can react to any given scenario or life story or the way someone responds to it,-no matter what's taken from you or what anyone tells you, everyone is in the same bucket att he end of the day of being alive, and its up to you how to respondto that. You always have flexibility, you always have power."

Bojack's eyes darted to you. "Should have said that the unhinged playboy woman before she rushed as out, huh?"

"I'm just saying that you don't have to punish yourself."

"I'm not punishing myself." Bojack's voice was vaguely defensive as his shoulders shrugged. "I'm just tyring to make sure that we don't have to deal with an even bigger mes later on in case tha Brad guy-"

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Bojack let otu a sudden jolt of surprise as eyes wiedned while his ears splayed back, his mouth twisted into a sudden surprise as he body jolted agaisnt the chair. A maddening yell cut through the otherwise fairly quiet night on Beverly Hills separated from the choas of Bojack's house. Bojack's eyes snapped over to where there was s distinct hue of the same layer of pink that had been the same one to leave the party; the hue of the layers of her body were turned up to the sdie of the cliff of what was a small greasy space sandhwiched inbetween two area of the house. The lights and the strike of wamrht otuisde continued onto the outward expanse of the lighting and the city that raised in front of the small form of the spider woman as she stood on the edge of the Los Angeles cliff, one arm eased out beside and under her, the other rasied and snapped out beside on either side of her body as her head was snapped up behind her back.

"What-Oh God-what?" Bojack's eyes were widened and flared as he snapped his head over to where she stood on the edge of the cliff. With a sudden snapping of his hands on the wheel did it come to an abrupt halt as the car abruptly turned with a screech, snapping against the edge of the street as you abruptly snapped your body on the side of the door as Bojack's wide eyes snappd over to where the woman was standing with her body twisted outward and against the edge of the cliff, the hue of the pink energy of her body raising up into what was now a messy demand of an astral projection of a small trail of pink light and over into a small hole that wwas dug into the murky cloudly black of the sky.

"Jesus Christ, lady!" Bojack's voice trembled as he hand snapped out and jammed into the door, stumbling his wya out as he did so. Your eyes followed him and you snapped your hand over to the car door as you made your way out, following Bojack as you tripped over your feet to follow him as Bojack rushed his way over between the two buidlings. He was panitng and slower than you, and you managed to catch up before Bojack could fully submerge into the pink hue of the foggy light tht traveleld from the extent of the spider woman's body as her heas was twisted up, reflective agsitn the yellow neon light of the cities that raised and melded into the air.

"Don't go near her." Your hand snapped over to Bojack's arm, and his head snapped over to you as his eyes gilinted in hardened defiance.

"Why? This is the woman you wanted to go all the way over for!"

"Hey?" Your voice called out over to the spider woman, though there was no movement from her end except for two of her upper arms raising up further and over to the expanse of the galatix pink space that surrounded her.

Bojack's expression twisted into uncerinity as he turne dhis head over to where the spider woman was stadning. His teeth were poked out as it was ehenevr he was emotionally overwhelmed, but he snapped his head over to the woman, and, after a slight prepared emotional buildiup with a role of his eyes and a shaken rbeath of his mouth he called out;

"Hey! Hey, woman! We came all the way over heere to make sure you didn't off yourself on a bad night for anyone to have to worry about that, so-if you could just step back and try to stop making this more quesitning and hard for us than it alreasy has been, that would be incredible!"

Bojack's voice was raised into that thrtoaty and emotionally inept ass type lanaguge; your hand squeezed on his arm as his snapped his head over to you as his breath shook, ears lowered back as the desperation in his wet eyes met your own concern.

"Not the best choice fo words, I kno.w But if I know anything about woman, Los Angeles types, or the city in general, its that the best way to get someone's attention is to be as obnxxuous and as outwardly demanding to trigger them as much as possible. No in eevr repsonds to being civil."

Bojack was breathing heavy, and with the way you knew his heart you knew it was from far more than just physical strain. Your hand eased onto his arm as you caressed it, and the light and detemianion in his eyes gently rested into exhaust as his eys lowered downward.

"Why don't you go in the car. I'll try to talk to her."

Bojack's soulfoul tender eyes gazed into your own as his expression twisted into timid question.

"Are you sure? I could stay here, make sure that she dosne't touch you ro try to-"

"I made a mistake, I'm sorry! I just wanted relief!"

The woman's voice broke out now into such a maddening twist of a despeeraiton of wobbling ameoitonal exhaust that it was now jamming and forcing itself into the sky, her voice calling out into a sickly thread of her own desperation as her head was snapped forward. It was sickly and maddening enough that it caused Bojack's eyes to widned as he body suddenly jolted inward, his worried squinted drunken eyes snapped over to the woman even as you tried to kepep yoru hand by Bojack's arm to press him by you as much as you could have manahed, though the grlint of Bojack's oen tidiness and how naturally nervous he could get was always one of someone who was on the edge of a brink of a force that he bever carried as well as fear. You yourself felt he shcok flow through you at how moribly soulless ad despaetate she sounded as her body began to walked further to the edge of the cliff, her body torn up by the slight force that seemed disguuhed through the galactic light that flowed from the thread of the pink heat of light naturally polluted by the white speck of the galactic stars.

Bojack stepped forward, but you pulled him back. Hi previously wide eyed fears eyes eased down into a light challenege as his eyes turned and met onto yours.

"Didn't you tell me awhile ago that even misery could have a ertain kind of joy if you dressed it up or respodned to it well enough? This woman isn't doing that. She's not going to keep herself protected on that cliff-"

"I know." You pulled Bojack abc still, and his conflicted worried, puffy lidded eyes threaded back to yours in his question of desperaitona nd aggressive overwhelming emotion. "I don't think it's safe for us to go by her." As you saw the woman's body start to step forward again, you felt your eyes widend, stripping forward a syou did so while you tripped in your own anaimalsiyic instinct. Bojack leet out a grunt as he clumsy followed you.

"Yes, way to not keep up the same philosophy!"

"Mrs?" Your voice eased out into the expanse of the air in front of you, trying your best to keep your voice as controlled as muhc as you were able. The woman neither rspodned nor encouraged it; she only kept her body firmly threaded onto the cliff, though it was clear even from her movement and theslught ease of it going forward that she was making her wya through inhc by inch to the edge of the cliff. "Mrs!"

"I though you said not to play into it." Bojack's voice was hard as he turne dto you. Your voice faltered as you tried to raise out her name again. You felt an overhwlemign array of emotion start to come over you as the glimmer of the hue of the extended pink light began to increase, easing agaisnt the woman's body that was now borderline near to having no genuine coherent form as the force f the glaaltic light increased. The more she stepepd forward to the edge the more the hue of the pink and vibrant light increased, the line of the extended fog of the light hue of the galaxy raising up to what was otherwise the light pollueted night sky. The gentleness of what you had managed to associate the night overhanging Los Angeles was now becoming steadily more chaotic at tis center as you found yourself tripping over yoruself agsisnt o reach the woman, and Bojakc letting out an exhausted gruff voice of agreement as he followed.

"Hey! Hey, lady! Get badk and away form there!" Boajck's voice cracked as he contuiend to trip over his feet as he followed you while your eeys threaded over to the woman. She had no response, and there was osnly less than half og her body that was cohrently still visible against what made up the rest of the end of the night sky of Los Angeels.

"Hey-no! No!"

Bojack's voice was an awkward and grunt guide of desperation to tear through the woman's intentions as, with a sudden step forward of her body she made her wya to the edge of the cliff, her body tripping over herself, and yeet it was mostly in intention. He body disappeared over the edge of the cliff, whateve little minute hue of transparency that was left in her air starting to transfer over to the side of where the rest of heer coehrnet bodily energy had been present a second before as he body snapped over the edge of the clif. Bojacll's eyes widned as he tripped over his feet to follow her, you following from behind as he rushed his way to thee cliff where there was now only empty foggy space.

"Jeuss, no-c'mon-" Bojack's low voice trmebeled as he eased his body downward, his knees slamming onto the cliff and his hands meeting it as his eyes that were now further glimemred with the eternal look of the reflection of the sky eased against the wet depsration of his expression. Your hand kept by his as you turned your body down along with his with your handa reading onto his body as he panted in desperation while hsi eyes squinted downward onto where there was the dizzying height of the cliff that met against Bojack's desperate expression as his head eased down and over to where there was now only fog and the vauge hue that suggested where the physicla tint of the spider womn's fur had been, nothing but the indifferent exapnse of the dirrt htat rested against the buildings f the neighborhodo meeting where there should have beena broken body and spalyed limbs.

Your head snapped over to where you had both gotten out of the car; evidently the pink fog had become so demanding in its appearance and forceful as it began to melt as ease into the air that it had caught the attention of several people at the party, a line forming up on Bojack's glass bound balcony as they turned to one another with a mumbling under ther conversation that could be heard as distinct white chatter from your end.

Your head turned up, and aboive where there had been the soft trailing fo a pink light previously there was now only the fog of the pink gaaltic light and fog meeting in front of you eyes. A sudden trmeor overcame the air of what made up the atmosphere; it wasn't anything that could be felt even from bodies, but rather was a general; exchange of change in the chemistry of the air. Bojack let out a whimper as his body slammed knot yours with his hands gripping knot you body, and with a sudden expanse of a increase implsoive expanse of the energy that made up the diswuieted and disturbed energy that was paladble enough that it was a physicla tangible feeling of wall in the air, a neon light struck through the rest of what had previously made up the much more gentle hall of the fog that had formed from being executed from the woman's body where it had been a moment before.

The woman's boidy, or at least what was the translucent other end of it, was alreayd starting to spasm in the wake of the sudden harrowing extent of the force of the neon light and the guidance of force of it as it jammed the neon light through the black cloduy air that made up the pollueted sky of the under buildings that lied underneath the sky. The neon light cut through the sky while riopping through the extent of the pink clouds that eased and cut through the murky of the Los Angeles sky. The woma's voice ripped out, bloody and harrowing enough that it caused Bojack to let out his own yell as his body visibly jumped back, his teeth clenching while the full timid extent of his own fear took over him whil eh tripped his way back. Your head snapped over to him as you kept your hadn on the middle of his back, trying o stop your own seses from being knocked over from the sudden cut through of the neon light that demanded itself against the rest of the atmoospehre that made up the unremarkable night. The woman's body and the leftove4er se through particles that made up her body began to eased forward and into the pink cloudy sky and the edge of the hollowing rest of the clouds over the rest of the atmosphere, and rather than it being a transmission that seeemed gentle and at peace with itself, it increased in the harrowing sound that made up the woman's previous weak body as it twisted entirely into what felt like undneiably the feeling of the air of what was a hallowing malicouness intent and the vague idea of the hard edge of what came across as being hollowingly and unforviingly punished.

The res tof the women's body was forced and thursted through the air as he body was force,d rather than even remotley easeily or welocmingly carried, up into the participles that made up the force of the neon light. The particles continued to increased further around the neon light, until finally, with the woman's bloody echo that had suggested a certain suffering of desperation and exhust that came from only a deep black of chilling and hollowing regret was the neon light met by taking away the rest of what had made up her coherent existence. As it was threaded and firmly rested into the extent of the impolsive demand of the neon light and the line of the force of neon light of it, there was a n implosion of the pink light; Bojack ducked down as his hands gripped onto the swaying of the grass, and you followed as your hands gripped onto the back of his shirt that dressed him as he jammed his body onto the ground with you gripping your hand against his shirt as you spilled your body over him both for his protection and for you own familiarity. Bojack breathed deeply, panickked as his snout slammed onto the ground while the expanse of the neon light increased with the energy it had seemed to consume, rather than invite, from the woman, until with a trembling expnae of a hollowing sound of moaning exhaust and thread of a beastly call out into the expanse of the empty air of Los ANgeels and the impossible compact rich and painful humainiyyty that had field up your nights of bonding toetehr was the empty space impldoed into several different demanding and blinding glinted neon lights that began to snap tis way through the sky like a sudden spiritual wave. Bojack was still breathing heavy as his body was curled into himself, his hands jammed onto his head as he turmed himself forward with his snout clenched and ht muscles on his face cramped. but you felt your head snapping upward as your eyes guided up towards the neon glint of the light that was now exploding into the ectnet of the sky. There was a wave of what looked like the very image of what had made up the form of rad and his wife, or his supposed wife, as their bodies threaded and intertwine agsint one anothe. Each one held a different form, a different intetination of bodies and softness and intimaicty but with each a different tone and mood, the way it ws with every given day in a life or any gievne differeen path of a life that led to the same phsyicla emulation, even if the context of it ws incessantly different. Your hadn snapped up as you felt your bottom lip tremble in the wake of the rest of the impulsive soft and cut through hints that made up the inaimcity of everyone one of the snapshots of what made up the life of the two as they expanses with an explosive breath and demeand across the sky, a flow of the energy of the implsoive expanse of the energy imploding through the extent of the buildings that was under the force of the thread of the invisible sky. Your eyes turned up a syou felt the neon light complement the sound of the vague whispered convversations and itniamcites that could only be shared between two lovers and loved in that intimate and profound way in kind as voices and the gentleness of them comcpliemnteed only for a brief moment throught the sky as the nosies complemented one another and their bodies right along with the itnimacy, until, with the same blow of what made up the invisible spiritual wave that threaded and exapnded across the city buildings asnd added what ws a nostgtailc and incessantly complex air and thread of enenrgy to it did the rest of the wave begin to lesson into a disappearing of the end of the horizon and against the side of the light behind the bittersweet sunset that made up Los Anegels buildings and the bittersweet compact human profound humanity of notsgtaila dn broken wonder that was part of what had brought both you and Bojack together, temporarily surrounded and painted by tht expanse of the rest of the forcve of the light of the various bodies and the itimate soudns of lvoers agsitn one another until the force of it began to ease into what made up the distance of the clouds as they met against the bitterset polluted extent o fht esky that ssrounded on the edge of the buidlings until the force of it was gone entirely, right along with the soft whispered words that made up the gentleness of two lovers in a life that they shared toegtehr in competle contentment and inw what mad eup the warmth and rhythm of a day to day life, finding relief in way way it came to them as it was with human nature. The force eased away into the red orange glint of the horizon entirley as the fold of the neon force of the edge of the line began to fade from where it had struck out among the rest of the clouds, the force it it now startingto fade among the rest of the guise and extent of the black clouds and the neon snapping of the light eased away entirleye into a dull fade.

Bojack was still breathing heavy, whispeirng nothings under his breath that met under his raspy yet timidn conflicted voice as his eys were closed with his hands forced onto the top of his head, ears lowered back as his body kept firmly curled knot the ground, For moment you felt yourself blidned and insane and had it not been for the ease of the pink fog that surrounded you you would have thought of yourself as such; as it was, your eyes turned over to Bojack as you reached out your hand behind the pant of his trembling back, hands and psalm easing onto it as your lip tremaored while your palms eased onto his body as you saw how he was slammed down onto the ground, hands pressed firmly on top of his head.

"Bojack." You spoke his name gently as you eased your body beside his own, through his eye swre still close,d looking just as worn and tried by his own behaviors that night of reckless consusmoption and uncaring liquor down his throat that was now showing off the genuine wear and fear on his face as his teeth clenched with that precious fear guided on his face. You kneeld down unilt your body was gudieid beside hsi, and with a raseped broken breath did his eyes squint as his eyes opened only remotely, breathing trembling as his expression eased open while his eyes oepend upward as much as the burning in his eyes would allow him to.

"What hapepnd? Is she gone?" His voice was precious and in that tender fear as his eyes widend opened, his head snapped upward as his body snapped its way ip into question, handa encasing onto his wrist as the fearful look in his eyes conutiend along with the bulging of the wear in his eyes as he sat his body upright. "She didn't die, did she?"

His voice was panicked and trembling as he spoke in his simplistic fear, voice trembling. Your body eased forward as your hand rested on hsis shoulder and although he jumped, he eased into yourt touch slightly if only by instinct as his eyes dimmed while his ears lwoered down, butt his time in defeat rather than defense.

"I need to get up back upt o your house." Your words were soft, easing into your attempt at calming Bojack from the otherwise abrasive fear that youknew would take him otherwise; as much as he could be the more reasonable one in comparison to anyone, especially in the hysteria that made up Los Angeles city, there had been that incessant fear and guilt treoggerd into him that was executed further into his bleak fearful eyes. His expression snapped down to your hand as the muscles on his face trembeeld with his increased doubt, head snapping over his shoulder as he looked through the pink fog that rested over where the tormernted woman and the guide of her body had been a second before.

"No-did she fall off? Did they see?" Bojack's voice trembeeld and met the desperation of his eyes as his head snapepd over his shoulder and over to where his house sat; several people from the party had, admittedly, cleallry taken notice and were taken to talking and laughing loud enough in their observation that they were turning their bottles to oneanothe,r laughter and spme distinct talking between the crowd that was also coming across just as much as disturbed. Bojack's body sat down onto the grass as his hands played against his wrist as the wear on his aged face and the preciousness of his timid panic came over the majority of his features.

"That's not what needs to happen right now."

"What? Me trying to figure out if I should be terrified of what they'll come up with or not? Not worrying about the woman youw ere aksing me to drive around town for a second earleir?"

His voice cracked in that boyish and helpless fashion. Yoru eyes dimmed as his breath shook while he snapped his head over to the cliff.

"I'm sorry. It's just-I need to know what happened , what they saw-"

His breath cut off as he eased hismelf up as much as his clearly fearful tremblign air would allow him to. He tripped overhimself and let out a whimpered breath of desperation as he made his way ot the end of the cliff, the extent of fear in his eyes reaching his own desperation as he tripped and eased his body to the edge of the cliff. You followed, trying to keep as close as you were able, though it was clear that Bojack wouldn't be able to be cofmorted or calmed as his trouebeld and worn, puffy eyes eased up to the exapnse of the black cloudy sky, still kissed by the pink fog, but for the most party only forgotten from what had been previouslly.

"You need to tell me that I didn't look guilty. Please." Bojack's voice cracked as he turned to you, his hands pressing agsintt the spaces of his fingers itnimately as he had a tendency of doing while his body turned and his ears lowered back.

"Sweetheart-" Your head turned as you heard one of the people from Bojack's house let out a call that was clearly meant for the two of you, the thread of the call coming from the people that were standing on the balcony, and you were reveelied that it was the kind of distnce where you could only gather the general tone of it, if een that. Your eyes dimmed as you turned your head and walked forward to Bojack, but the fear on his eyes only increased his his arms kept timdily by his chest. He let out an abrupt and fearufl breath as his head snapped upward and ovr to the crowd.

"They know." His eyes protruded as his head snapped over to the cliff. The shaken ease of his breath contuiend to eas eout of his lips in desperation as he stepped away from you and jolted his body to the end of the cliff, snapping his knees in front of it as his head turned downward. You followed, rushing by his own desperation as he turned his head down with nothing but sickliness to accompany his eyes as his shaken breath contuiend while he snapped his eys down the cliff.

"There's no sign that she was ever here, sweetheart." Your voice was as attempted to be as soft as you could manage while you eased by Bojack, but his eys only proitruded into that lost fear and troemtned narrative that was always turning in his mind as his head turnedn down, pupils darting in a clear extent of trying to take in the hollowing ground under him, black mane and that graceful but tormented silhouette eased and traced by both the neon light and the statgance of the Los ANgeles pollution, adding to your indpaition to keep him for torturing himself as much as you had the power to do so.

Bojack's head twisted over the edge of the cliff, eeys widend while his hands trembled on the side of it as his head snapped forward. His eyes turned sicily into the puffy bag of the squint that overcame his expression as he sapped his head over the cliff, breathing coming out jaded and deseprate with ears lowered back. You eased your hand on his back and by his stomach and he snapped his head over his shouler, looking at you with deseprate exhaust that burned in his eyes.

"They didn't see that, did they?" His eyes turned up, reflective against the edge of the lights that made up the nearby buildings beside both of your bodies, the stagant light of the nieghtborhood houses, some of the lights snapped up onto the porch and increasing the stagagnt light as it flooded around the small expanse of te alleyway.

"I think they did." Bojack's eyes jolted into a harrowing panic, and both of your hands gripped onto his shoulder as fear overtook the paralizaiton of his face as his eyes snapped over to you into his own black disbeleif. "But that dosen't have to matter."

Bojack let out a rapsy, low throated rasp as his head snapped up and he gripped the side of your shoulder. He collected himself with a large breath, readjusting his bosy as his hands gripped onto your shoulder.

"Honey, I know what people in this city are like. If they think anything happened, if they think I push or-murdered that woman onto the side of the clff-"

"We'll tell them what happened." Your fingertips eased on the side of Bojack's cheek as your fingertips caressed. His apologetic, wet eyes eased up with a snap of his exasperation as his shaken breath increased.

"I know that, We can try. But they'll blow this up into something that they'll take and run or-even tyr to twist it into something wrose." He breathed as the rhythm of his breath interrupted again while he gave a rasped extent of a cough. "If they take this the wrong wya they'll take it and spin out with it. I know it."

"Sweethear,t breathe." Your hand pressed on the curve of Bojack's painting stomach, his head turned down as his ears flicked back while the heaving of hsi emotions contuiend to take the majority of the conflict on his face. His panting only lessen right as the ease of the pink fog began to slink away from where there had been the extensive pink fog a moment before. His head turned down as his body hunched back on his thighs, expression squinted into his own black panic as he allowed the force of your palms to stay threaded onto his body even as he contuiend to pant.

The lights behind one of the neighborhod houses flicked on; one fo the mansions tha was occupied by one of the more well endeavored people that lived on Beverly Hills lit up the inside of the interior as the stagnant light started to fill up the inner space, the yellow light flooding through the open white patio and the inner part of the illimilous lunxerious white couches that sat under a large chandelier. A well sculpted ox man with broad shoulders eased his way out of the side of the glass door that sat on the sid eof the living room made of glass, one cup in his hand as low set eyes and a bleak brown edge of what amde up a handsome charamsia overtook his attention as he walked his way over to the both fo you, eyes glitning in inquiry.

"I take it that you had too much of a blowout at your party tonight, Bojack?" The ox man's words were amused as he lifted the cup up to his lip, glimemrd in amsuemnt and a vague sense of conerern as his eyes threaded over Bojack's panting form in question. Bojack snapped his hard eyes up, ears lowered as he conuinted to pant under your hand as you tried to keep him from sprialing out inot his own painciked narrative from the few bones cruel reality would throw at him from time to time.

"You're seriously coming out and asking me about why I;m acting strange-after all that?" Bojack's voice was edged and blunt as his eyes snapped upward to the ox, his eyes glimemred up into an act of abrasive defense. The ox man rasied up his ahnd as he gave a slight wave of it, turning his body back.

"Thank you for coming out to check on us." You tried to keep your own air civil, though you were feeling the after affects of what you had just seen as much as Bojack was. Your dim drunken, own tired and burning, now bewildered eyes turned as they dimly eased to Boajck, who's body was till threaded into a plump form of exhaust whil he conutiend to breathe heavily.

"Hey, I just wanted to check on you."

"Yeah, right at the time when it would be easiest to get something for your goodman news cast, is that it?" Bojack's breathin contuiend into a pant as he snapped his head upward. The ox man chuckled as he gave hima raise of his brow, far more cool and colectedd in comparison.

"I saw you coming out of that car and I noticed that you were following that poor woman." He shook his head as his eyes looked out over the hollowing extent of the what made up almost nsotlagtic fire of that sat under the grey black clouds over the buildings of Los Angeles as his head shook. "A bittersweet ending to what I'm sure you expected to be abitterswet day, if I know anything about what you ever expect from anything, Horseman, but I don't think even the most abrasive thinker could have seen that one coming."

"What are you..talking about?" Bojack's breath panted as his own chalknegng, helpless durken eyes eased up to the man. "What just happened was beynd anything either cynicism or celebraton would have looekd lile.. I don';t know-" Another vioolent breath, his head eased down as his eeys squinted while his head eased onto his chest. "-I don't know what that was, and I'd appreciat eit if you didn't try to pretend you did for whatever weird comepption cool guy shit you have going on. Jesus-" Bojack's rant was cut off by another raspy breath, head turned down a shis ears lowered back.

The ox man shurgegd his shoulders as his expression ased up to the multi colored edge of the sky. "Well, the girl cleallry committed suidie. Saw her jump right off, right after crying out something that I know most people wouldn't unless they really felt like to be pushed onto the edge like that-and clearly she did, and she does, or she did, but she seems to hav succeeded at whatever it is she claimed to have wanted. Poor thing, poor girl. I hope she's happier now, if nothing else, or at least no as half as aware of her suffering now as much as she might hav been before, whatever that even looks like after you jump down and break down all your bones.

"She's right down there, asshole!" Bojack's voice cracked as he spoke through his panting. The ox ma's eyes widend as he gazed at him in question, stoic uncertainty easing into the man's eyes as he watched him. His syes threaded down and over to the cliff, and with a slight turn of his lips he mad ehis way over to the edge of the cliff, walking his way past Bojack and your body that was leaned forward by Bojack to try to guide him into any form of comfort as the ox man raised his eyes over the cliff. He took a sip of his beverage, looking down into what was something that was unreadable in his eyes as his expression turned down the cliff.

"ALl bones and body broken, just like I thought." His head turned, horns eased agsitn the open red light of the foggy sky as his body turned and looked between the both odf you.

"Wha..?" Bojack's tone was a wuesstioning as his puffy drunken eyes as he turned his head forward, his hands encased onto your palms as he turned his wet eyes up, reflective against the pink fog. "No, man. She's my wife and I looked to see her just now, she wasn't there."

The ox man's eyes glimered as he gazed over between the both of you, and then, witha sudden loud throated chcukle did he ease his head back. He turned his body stoitcly back over to the edge of the cliff, body upright as he turned his head downward and over to the extent f the guided buildings, though his focus was only on the empty space under his eyes-at least, as far as you and Bojac had been able to see it.

"The poor thing must have already been cracking long before your party, so I'd try not to go and blame yourslevs too much-as much as you can stand, anyway." He turned his head over his shoulder, looking only partway between the both of you. Bojack's melhcoly and wet eyes of his own fight were squinted further as he met the ox man's stoic energy with his own attempt at being the same, though his naturally guilt laden headspace didn't decreased as you felt his palms tremble on your hands, felt the ease of sweat that had formed on his body esing onto your hands as you helped him up, your arm reaching out and helping Bojakc stumble onto your body as his own exhausted and extensive eeys turned up and over to the end of he cliff. The ox man turned as his head turned back to the clif, though he stepped backward as you helped Bojack's body limp over to the edge of it, his own troubled eyes ease down to the edge of the cliff as his teeth poked in his own defensive uncertainty.

He jumped back as a timid ease of shaken breah came over him. Your psalm pressed on his body and he snapped his eyes over as he looked at you, eyelids wincing up.

"She did." His eyes dilated into that distance that came from his tormented overthought and processing as hs eyes eased to the city buildings. "She did."

You pressed your lips together, though for the msot part you tension was coming through where your hand rested behind the middle part of his back. You stepped da few paces forward yourself, your eyes easing over the side of the cliff; when your expression fully turned over the edge of it, you felt your own heart drop, ot just for the splayed out body of the previously life field spider woman or for her arms as they twisted into every movmene tof hwat could have existed, but also for the doubt that overcame you of your ceritniy that there had been nothing there a sconf ago, just particles and galactic light and fog and anything else ottherworldly besides; you had nothing but a sickly doubt following the majority of your line of thought now as you steeped back, Bojack's own troubled features wincing as his head snapped while his head eased over to you with his shaken breath of his caution.

"We'll call someone tomorrow. Should be easy to pick her up, make sure no one is aware of hears a thing, make sure no one gets too invested into what happened tonight."

Bojack's tormented eyes threaded over to the man as his eyes dimmed, his teeth poked in his timid fashion as his expression dimmed. The ox man blinked firmly, stoicly, as he turned and met his eyes , almost as a challenge compared to how fearful and shaken Bojack was in compassion o his stoic form. Your hands eased agsitn Bojack;s fingertips, threading your fingers against his.

"How can you be so casual about this?" There was a gentle accusation, but mostly genuine soft curorty, in Bojack';s tone as he asked.

The ox man shrugged. "How can you not? The way I see it, this happens in this city all the time. At the very elast this woman gave us a note of a kind before she actually jumped down and did it-poor thing, again, but you should be as used to the unhinged natures of people and hwo the world wrecked them in whatever way it does overtime as much as anyone."

"Well, yeah, but-" Bojack halted as his eyes turned down to the expanse of what mad eup the indffierence of the always bsuy and lit city, the cars rolling by on the edge of the street as they cintuiend to make their way past the buildings while the woman sat with her body cracked onto the ground, her back snapped up and her facial exresison twisted, the mutile guise of her amrs snapped out in several directiosna as the foggy ease of her eyes were threaded up into a profound emptiness that replaced the life that had occupied her eys previosuky. "It's just-the way she left."

"Hey, don;'t worry about it, BJ. If you ask me this is a sign to go back up to your big, grand house-" He lifted up his eyebrows in a playful, almost cocky fashion; Bojack's eyes darted in his distant disgust as he threaded his stocky body agsidnt your hand, and your palms eased against the curve of his body as you pulled him in. "-And realize that ultimately this has nothing to do with you."

"I know. But what she saif to my wife and I before, I seemd a little like something we should have cocnenred orusleves with-"

'Bojack, you can't worry about whatever it is that anyone else is going through, you understand me? You need to focus on getting yourself back up to the house and realziing that there's a lot of sick people in this city; incredibly sick people. None of it has anything to do with you good or bad, and it's your job just to make sure that you stay with those people up there and ame sure none of those sick people you invited tonight get even more sick because of whatever els might happen."

One of the people from the distant clatter behind the party let otu a sudden yet, the sound easing itself into the air; it soudne dlike something tha was both a superficial disregard for what they had just seen, the shock of it worn over with humor, they way that people had always done; the way that had a;ways disgsuted Bojack, the same way that it did now. He let out a trouebeld breath as his eyes turned back over to the cliffs, his hands eased oto your palm as his harded eyes turned back over to where the spider women lied.

"And you're sure no one will make a big scene about this?" You breathed Bojack's name gently, but you allowed his own conflicted questions to speak as his tired eyes turnd up. The ox nodded as he looked at him with reassurance.

"Positive. People are as desnentized around here as muhc as they come. If anything this is just anothe experience for both you and your wife to be sedated under for a little while. It's not permena,t neither the feeling or the way of it, and it will pass. Just take the lessons for what they are, and kwo it'll change eventually. Especially around here."

Bojack's eyes flcicked back over to the edge of the cliffand the energy in his eyes dimmed as his ears lowered back, though there was a certain complacent acceptance in his air now as he eyes dimmed and he looked to the side. The ox man turned down as he looked down at his cup, casually, and though there was a dark edge to his general air, for the most part there was an acceptance that was almost chilling in its complacency, though there was an odd comfort in it compared to the fear of the both of ou and the chilling caution that was eased between both of your uncetrain and sickly bodies, the very extent of something that was threaded inot the bittersweet and complicated narrative that had een Bojack's life, and therefore the general complication of his general air. Your hand eased on the side of his arm as his eyes threaded and turned to you, readjusting as he eased his body up and breathed in to restart, as much as the timid air of him would be able to.

"Well, as long as you're sure this won't spiral out into something even worst than it already is."

"No one will give you a hard time." The ox man rasiedd his smlal white cup to the both of you. "The boyfriend-did he seem like he had any issues or any major problems with the way things are? Before she ended up making this detrimental decision, that is."

"Pointed at us specifically?" Bojack ears splayed out. "No, not especially. If anything he seemed paritualry content to keep himself lost in what he claimed a sthe love of his life and finding every passion he could get in her."

There was a falte to Bojack's voice as he spoke. Your head turned up as your fingertips eased onto his in the guide of comfort, though it barelly met the conflicted insecurity of Bojack's eyes and whatever tormented iner narrative was dancing behind them. There was a falter to Bojack's voice as he spoke in a reflection of the way brad had been borderline deranged in his love for his partner, his body threading against her own and the intimacy of his mouth guiding and threading against her right along with the sweetness of the rich demeand of the air of his body onto her own. It wasn't unlike the way Bojqck's plump body and conflcitedd wet eyes, and the bittersweet impossibly rich bond that threaded between one another as his hips and the plump guise of his body eased onto yours every night into a continued rich thread despite the odds continued as his body and hips eased onto yours with the confliction of his white handsome emotionally dense and incredible eyes threaded onto your body through wa warmth and a carrying that dispute how bitter it was with how powerful and heavy and compact it could be, it was all the more gentle and increaisnly more promising towards strneght of whatever seemed impossible before because of how his unloved conflicted threaded has been ease dby you well into the night. The way he had gone mad was threading a glint of doubt into Bojack's eyes as his pupils threaded into his conflciton. Your hand threaded away from his arm until it eased onto his palm, threading knot it as your hands squeezed.

"He seemd like he was pretty confident in his own purpose with his…girlfriend."

"Wife." Bojack interjected, his eyes snapping up to you with his eyelids lowered in his pointed emotional exhust. 'The guy made it very cleae it was his wife."

Your eyes turned as you tried to fight the burning of them while the burning alcohol countined to flow through your system as you swayed. "It had nothing to do with us." The statement, blunt and to the point, but off any other conflcition that could have made up the converersation.

"Then don't worry about it." The ox man, looking like his large boulder of his shoulders were at ease gaisnt the reflection of the dim yellow light of the rest of the undergo of the sunset as his head eased upbehind him and over to the entrance where Bojack's car had been abrupltly abadaoned, twisted and turned to the side and against the black squeal of the tires on the road. "But I do think you need to work on getting back to your party. We of all people know what Los Angeles folks are like, and the worse their imgaintions get the worse it'll be. You know how it is."

Bojack's eyes threaded downward as they twisted in concern over to the edge of the cliff. "I just don't understand why she did it. All of the sudden, and out of nowhere. It looked more like some deseprate call for something more than anything-with the fog and the neon light-"

"Bojack." Your hand squeezed against his palm, and his worried, helpless white eyes turned to you as his ears splayed down. He breathed in as his eyes turned down to the ground. There was a panic in his eyes, but there ws an understanding that he would have to accept that of which was in front of him and the odd expanse of the force of what had ben observed. You felt your own grief overcoming you at the suffocaiton of the secret andof keeping it between you, but it ws the only thing that made sense for the moment; and your instincts anyway told you to hold Bojack back from speaking out what might accidently harm him in his impuslive panic in the guise of desperation for relief, and you knew it was in your best interest to hold him back as much as you were able, even if it made little sense even to you.

The ox man's eyes flared between the both of you. Behind, there was an almost ominous look of foretelling behind him that made him look especially foreboding, though his air was especially defiant and carless and uncaring as he stood in front of you.

"If you ask me, I would say that you should get used to the ideas of suffering, unpredictability, of all the terrible losses and actions and things that happen around the both of you. It's inevitable, and all things considered you're lucky that the both of you have at least the option to the only the obsevrers rather than the tellers, or the doers."

"Yeah, I got it." Annoyanc ecrossed over Bojack's expression as his eyes closed, raising up a hand. Your worried eyes turned up to him as the edge of your eyes glinted over his body. His reflective yes turned as his eyes met your own, worried with exhaust. "Beleivee me, I've been plenty fmaialir with the unpretiacble throes of people and their impulsivity and anything else that makes up their lives or whatyver horrible thing they come up with."

"The human mind is always changing, even when it feels like its not. This night will pas-and if what you say is true, then I'm sure neither of you are going to hva etrouble being able to put this past you."

"No, I'm not saying that its an easy thing to forget. But that dosen't meant that its simple, either." Bojack's voice was becoming more edged into a hard challenge, and behind where the people of the party increasing in their loud chattering and the superficial guise of energy of people that had already mocced on. The ox man's eyes turned up as his eyes glinted in his own satisfaction as he turned his head up to the party.

"Well, it looks like there's plenty of people that woul disagree with the sentiment." He nodded his head cruelty as he looked between the both of you. "At least you'll have pletnly of people to help you through the sentiment for the night reagrdless."

Bojack's eyes turned up into exasperation, your head turned as your eyes dimmed.

"Well, thank you for the advice, Oxford, but we need to get back to the very party where you say that people will 'help me to be able to process this'.

"I think he's right, to a degree." Your voice was tentative but ultimately trying towards relief as you spoke. "If we let the grief and darkness and emptiness be what it is instead of fighting it, maybe it'll heal itself, be easier, somehow."

Though Bojack's eyes were gentle in that vague wise question that occupied his eyes that led him open to thins he didn't understand, there was a slight edge to his expression as he eased his ahdn onto yours.

"I think that would be something better lived than only thought of. And for the record-" Bojack lifted up a finger as his eyes turned to the ox man, who lifted up his eyes in question. "I have met plenty of loonies before. I saw a baby jumped out of a goodman New York window once. So yes, this is normal for me. That's not the isuse."

A loud and abrupt voice that sounded between a bloody scream and a yell eased itself into the air, threading out dramatically and causing Bojack to abruptly jump as his eyes wided. The px man chuckled, and Bojack recolelcted himself as his dry eyes eased back over to him.

"You have someone who can accept all ofyou naunce ad response to life as it comes the way it eeds to, Bojack. She'll help you through whatever way you want to dress up this narrative of how this made yu feel-and you're evident self imposed ideas of fog and all that other like nonesese."

"Right." His voice was defensive but ultimatlley there was a sofntess to it as he spoke that suggested his own open desire for whatever came from the events that unfolded, and already had his response to it been buried under the emotions of his attempt at layering them, and you could already feel the sense of unraveling that would occur that was preferable to the otherwise ssuffocaitng dakr that was ease between the both of you if nothing was talked about otherwise.

Bojack's hand rested on his other palm to meet the dry sarcasm of the tone of his voice, though the way hsi fingertips were easing onto your palm, there was the tedenrenss of his fingertips thar suggested his tender helplessnes that follwoed even the most hardened sneitment based words. You allowed Bojack to guide his fingers onto your handa as it eased down between the both of you in its embrace, his head turning as you began to follow. Bojack's head turned as he watched the ox man chuckle while he turned his head over to the cliff, shaking it as he made his way to the end of the cliff, though the sound had a sad edge to it as he began to make his way to the side of the cliff, eased downward as he began to thread his focus onto the cliff as his hadn gripped onto the edge of it while his head and focus turned downward.

"Come on." You indicated your ehad over to Bojack's car. "It's only ya five minute drive to the driveway and then you can decide if you want to keep the party going or not."

"No, that's ok." His voice was complacent just as his eyes as he made his way to the car. Your hand threaded out of his palm as you made your way to the other side of the car, easing his way inward as he made his way inside, hands threading onto the wheel as he tapped them nervously. His teeth were poked out and his eyes were threaded into that dilated fear in his eyes as his body eased back, expression tense as he essed his hand on the wheel, eyes dialting as his head eased on the back of the chair.

"Did he seem…off, to you at all?" Bojack's question was tentative as his head turned to you while he started the car. You breathed in, attempting to reground yourself from your own panic as Bojack started the car.

"Not any more or less than anyone else I met tonight."

Bojack chuckled, in that soothing and honeyed way as he started up the engine and begant o back out from where it had been parked in front of the two neighborhood houses previously as he backed up the car. It was a soft and honeyd sound enough that it cause you to feel that extensive warmth again as it eased through your body, though there was still an odd wish and sentiment that there was no heaviness to have to be dealth with to begin with; that both of you could have been freed from that psychological heaviness that came along both with taking in the action of the woman's end and the general derngement of Brad and the woman that had occurred previously that was both a senitment of what you both felt, but executed to a more maddening and disturbing degree that, whether relevant to either of you or not, was haunting at its fault core.

Bojack's eyes winced in that thoughtful way as he continued to drive up the driveway and over to where the mansion was sitting with the peopl who were now starting up their own carless superficial clatter and clash of bodies again. His head turned up as he stopped in front of the golden gate, pausing as his hands eased onto the wheel.

"It's incredible how they just keep going on their party no matter what they witness. It's like no matter what occurs or what happens to them, they still end up in the same place of not caring." His eyes, naturally melhcolic at their core, eased down as his expression grazed onto the wheel. "I'm almost jealous atthem for that. I think I always have bee. How people can just so easily move on and barely be affected y anything around them and just continue on like it dosen't even matter."

"They're mostly so drunk out of their minds that I don't even think they know where they are at this point." Bojack's eyes were still winced and puffy with his own tender human guilt as his head turned upward, gripping onto the wheel. "When they make up in the morning they might bee able to be something a little more human."

"i don't think so." Bojack's voice reflected as he turned his head doen and onto the wheel, bittersweetly gusing his hands against it into a caress of his hand as his expression eased deonward. "What I said back there-about the fog."

You paused as you reajustd, turning your body over to him as he eased his hands onto the buttons in front of him. He pressed the firs tone by the wheel and with a graon the gate began to open, easing its way forward with a vague creek.

"Why did you cut me off?"

Your teeth grazed on your lip as you turned your head downward, your hands easing onto the side of the cae contorls. Bojack's eyes flciekd downward as he watcehd you, swaying slightly with the influence the liquor had given him, his eyes winced and puffy as he truend his head and wtacehd you, the blakc mane of his body spewing out in multiple directions and looking especially helpless; but if there any odd irony Bojakc had bene able to teach you, it was that there was an odd irony in being helpless, and a certain beauty to it as well.

"I just know what people are like."

Bojack's eyes winced further as he swayed. "What, in Los Angeles?"

"No." You shrugged. "In general. I know what happens when people start saying things that don't sound conventional-and I know that we're both incredibly drunk and neither of us are thinking clealry. Neither of us feel well."

"Please, this is beginner drinker." Bojack's body swayed further as his lip rasid up, waving his arm clusmily beside him, though you could tell just front eh lightness of his teasing that he was taking comfort in your words. "And I'm sure that guy would attribute it to being drunk anyway. The thing about Los Anegels types is that they're used to everyone being crazy or unhinged or-" He pattered his lip toegther as he turned hsi relkfecive and gentle eyes upward and over tot he polluted sky, one of which seeme dlike an extension of the common sens eof people's misery being an extensive of the hoepelss reflection of how human intlelkigence had separated people from simplicity and how humans were cursed against their own natural weeds, doomed to pain pemrnealty in a sense because of it. "-Any one of those variables, really. If he can cope with seeing these insane idiots up here doing their thing, I don't know why a random drunk story from a guy who hoisted the damn thing would have a problemw ith soem eccentirc crackhead story spewed out froma guy that just came up out of nowhere with his with." Bojack chcukled, his shoulders easing upward as the light in his eyes increased into a gentle guidance of his own playfulness as he turned his eyes to you. You turned your head downward, lips raising up into a bittersweet reflection as your head turned down while your fingertips eased onto your own hands. You coudl feel Bojack pause as he turned his eys to you with his tint of focus easing onto your body, and you felt your natural gudince for meetin him ther overocming you as you closed your eyes for a moment in the intention of tyring to find peace, but as you clsoed your eeys you found the emptiness overcoming you that was me behind your eyes was one of an almost demonic depressive human helepelssness, not unreflective of how hollowing the woman's scream had been foroe she had jumped and you had seen the flash of her splayed body onto the ground as it had eased onto your own paicked eyes. You turned your head overe you shoulder as you met Bojack's eyes, oens of which were still swayed in a humble lost human fashion as his eyes were laden in that durken exhaust as he swayed while looking a you, though that grounding intelligence didn't leave him.

"What do you think happened? Back there?" Bojack's voice was drukenlly swayed into a broken ease of a question as his eyes kept on yurs in his own deep specific harmony of human pathetciness that it caused you to feel that meldoing of bonding relief anf grodungin humanity every time where with other people there ws only rejection and discomfort at best. You lip raised intoa curve as your hand reached out and pressed onto where Bojack's fingers kept on the wheel; his worried eyes followed your own as your fingertips eased between his hand.

"I think we're both incredibly drunk, and I think there's a lot of crayz suciidal people in this world, and we just witnessed one in the most eccentric wya possible because of the substances we're on. I think that's at least part of what it is. And I think we need to try to calm ourselves down and focus on what we have coming up to the party tonight and all these people-and I think it was a good idea for you to invitie them."

'Really?" Bojack's eeys turened as his expression threaded over your own, head tilted back as he watched you. "I thought it was one of my more impuslive, backwash and regretful ideas, and from the review of one of the first partygoers and paricitpantes tonight it seems like I wasn't the only one who thought so."

Your eyes lowered intoa dim softness as you heard the defeat in Bojack's tone. "Don't blame yourself for what she did tonight.'

"I'm not blaming myself." Bojack's handa rased up in defnese as his depression came into a merciciful despeation. "I''m just saying that it dosne't surprise me that someone ended up like this tonight." He paused as he took in a breath, his trouebeld eyes turning back up to his house as he began to ease the car forward through the open gate, guidning his driving over to the front of the house as he abruptly paused the car in front of the mansion. There were sveerla woman, most of what seemed like were swayed drunk on their feet as they stumbled and alughed between one another superficially, their laughter as lost inside of their physical and emotional distraction as they snapped their arms up and gave Bojack a wave. He waved back at them with a small smile, but when his eyes turned back to you they were as dry and tried as always as the ease of his distant dry eyes met your own. "If there's any chance that we could stop this party tonight, maybe we should."

"I don't think we'll have any choice for that even if we tried at this point."

Boajck's eyes flickered down in thought, then his eyes turned back up to you again. "No?"

"Did you see how that woman flew back and bent on her ass when she tried to do that sex flip over the cliff?" One of the woman's voices raised into the air in such an abrupt and abraisev humor as he body twisted back, alcohol splaying from the glass that was just barely balanced in her hand. Bojack's hardened eyes turned as he looked over atthe drukne woman that were laughing at the event of what had occurred, and his eyes closed as he head turned to the front of the wheel again, his fingers gripping onto it subsinciosuly

"Darling, the only way that any narrative of any situation can be dressed up a certain way is if you allow it to be something negative, whetehr its he passage of tiem or oen night." Bojack's face didn't lessen in the clenching of his expression as he eased his hands onto the wheel, then breathing out with a pop of his lip as his wet eyes turned to the wheel.

"That's not what this is about." His voicee was defeated as he twisted his hands on the wheel. "This is about having to go back in there and trying to keep up with a party that I already extensively regret."

Your eyes turned down, and you breathed in as you reached out your ahdn to press onto his palm. His wet eyes turned toward your own, and the stark contrast of what excited between the borderline artistic heaviness of his eyes and the splaying of his ears, naturally soft and embedded into genetless no matter what kind of black trouble might have follwoed him, eased into his eyes as he turned his head over to you, compact and painful eyes as enriching and as real and soothing because of those two things as much as always as his expression guided to you witha thread of a question in the stoic exhaust of his troubled eyes.

You leaned forward, unclipping your seat belt away from where it was against yourc hes,t then lended forward as your lips pressd softly agsitn Bojack's. You heard him let out a surprise gruff for a moment, but his body melted as it always did and in his own acceptance of borderline ceelrbation as he always did as his body began to ease back against the car door, back threading against it as his hand came to cup onto the side of your cheek as your handa rested on his plump hips. There was that relief for a moment between you two as you felt your lips graze on the bottom fo his branwy mouth and the plump feeling of it onto yours, and the gentle whiskey laden breath and the natural charamsta oftaht of which made his body as his chubby hand reached out and threaded onto your cheeks while his ears lowered back. A overwhelmed and low throated rasp left his lips as a couple of mumbled words went through him, and that profound feeling that trandendned beyond the good or bad feelings or either right or wrong flowed between the both of you as his body eased back otno the door.

"There is a cetrain comfort even in insanity and constant misery, I guess." His words brreahed on your face as you began to ease your body backward, though your nose and your lips didn't stop from easing onto the side of his snout as he turned his head forward and allowed your intimacy to continue. "The amount of times m ex girlfriend Princess Caroline always reminde dme that it was about both money and spirit when it came to independence and the cotnmentmentwith it, but it wasn't about peace as much as it was about fmaialrirty of whatever mad eup a day to day life that ultimately made it easy."

His eyes were low and gathereed into the glint of his eyelids as he swayed. You eased your body back against his hips as your fingertips caressed on the sie of his cheek, head turned down as your forehead eased onto the front of his snout, your fingertips eased and threaded agsitn his cheek as you allowed your palm the luxury of falling inot that feeling that was more than the sie effect of doing what was right to human nature but something beyond that; far more powerful, complex and overpowering above it all.

Bojack shurgegd in his boyish, uncertain way as his eys turned downward. "Maybe it's good that nothing I bring about brings anything but more trouble. Maybe there's even a silver lining to constant abandonment, who knows."

"Don;t say that. That's what I meant when I told you not to wring this back around to how you can make it your own fault."

"Well." Bojack's eyes were threaded into his stoic cycniams as his eyes threaded over yours, and his arms crossed in the space in front of his chest as it rested above his stomathc. His head titled to you pointedly, eeys easing to you in question as his expression eased forward. "What would you like to wring it back around to?"

Your lip opened, and you tried to come up with the closest words of comfort that would come to you.

"I found you because it simply happened; we didn't force or even expect anything, and look what came out of it."

Boajck's heavily lidded eyes threaded over his dilated pupils as a distance wa sin them as he shrugged. "Well, yes. But. I don't think that necessarily transcends into this as much a syou would think."

Your trouebeld eyes eased over his own worn and sickly face, though oddly handsome in its lack of care and wreckage as your fingertips threaded on the side of his bloated cheek. He leaned again the touch, the same way he ahd learned to accept unrelenmting pain as a predestined part of his existence as he turned his eyes downward, the heaviness increasing on his worn and wrinkled, slightly sagged with age feautrues. "I think a lot of it is just about tyring to readjust the narrative in your head to something mo-"

"Oh, god, fucking Christ! It's not even eleven at night!'

"When did he do this? Did you see this? Mother of all-"'

There ws a shrill shirek that sounding haunting and demeanding enough that Bojack's eyes widned as his head snapped away from the natural warm comfort of your embrace.

"Huh?" Bojack's snout encased into shock as his hands flew up; you did the same on instinct as your head snapped ovee your shoulder as you snapped your head over to where several people were now rushing their way inside of the house, the chatteirng now becoming less complacent humor and now becoming something far more extended into dread as th voices coninuend to raise into the air in their own conflict.

"We need to call someone. This is the second person tonight!"

"It's the same man with the woman. They were both in on this together, I tell you; they both wanted this tonight. There's nothing to be done about it now. At least they got their little trail away from the chaos of the world and did and enjoyed something so little know how to do these days, which ws the quiet of their company anf the thread of somethin real for awhile before they snapped."

"But Jesusu-like this? Does Brad even know what happened to his wife?"

The talking was starting to clamor into a white thread of desepatre chatter. Bojack's breathing was easing out into panic as his eyes winced, his head snapping back up to you as his hands were suddenly paralazyed against the side of your wrists.

"We should-" He turned his head as he slammed his elbow on the car, stumbling out as he let out low raspy tone of his voice while his feet fanced oer themselves while he clumsy raised his body out of the car. His body eased forward as his arms limped downward while his head snapped over his shoulder and over to where the rest of the woamn were rushing their way inside, talking between one another with a rushed capor of disturbance as they rushed between their whispering in their disturbance of where the distubred murmuring was easing from outside the grey open doors. to . You rushed your way outside of your own car door, jamming your hand onto it to slam it shut as you tripped your way outward. You rushed your way over to Bojack, his body jolted upright as he breathed shakily with dilated eyes easing up to where the the chattering was increased to a genuine sense of increased disturbance that suggested a new tragedy had happeend. Your hand threaded onto where his arms had gone limp and his head snapped over to where the people wre rushing their way inside with an increased edge of panic.

"Go inside?" His voice tentative and pathetic as he winced while his head turned over to you. There was that pathetic fear in his voice, but for you it was an extension of grounding and humanity of essence and warmth for the both of you. Your arm reached forward as your hand guided onto the side of his arm, leaning your body against his as you turned your head up to where the disgruntled noise of the party were easing from the outside door.

"He showed signs of losing it when I rested him on the armchair. He said he would calm down and not make a big deal about it. I wasn't sure how much that was true, but I left him to it because the man was spasming and showing signs of violence. I called the poilice. It looks like it's going to be an ambulance trip now."

"This'll make a good picture for all those news stories that everyone always wants going to things like this." A woman chuckled and there was the sound of flash and clicks coming from the disgruntled chattering that made up the rest of the crowd. Bojack turned his head to you and you nodded, unceritnly, but you allowed that permission to give Bojakc some guidance against his already unfolded discomfort as he began to make his way towards the front door. He walked his way inward to the stagnant light that made up the flooded space of the inner large room as he turned his head to you again in question; you continued to walk with him as he breathed deep, instnaly met by a wall of people tha were shouldering and mutteirng their talk that was mostly a ripple of disturbance more than anything that was even remotely civil.

"Hey." Bojack's hand reached out as he reached for the nearest woman's shoulder, who was already embedded into expressing her thoughts to the nearest distant person. Her eyebrows threaded as her exxpression turned up while her had snapped up to him. Bojack's ears splayed back as he stepped backward at the hard flare of her eyes as she met his question. His eyes threaded up to the woman as she pouted her lip. "What the hell happened?"

"You didn't see the itntetwining of the two people before the guy lost his mind? It was more than just a drug induced fall." Her lip rasied upward as her teeth flashed, head shaking as she turned her head back to her phone.

"You seem incredibly casual about it."

She shurgged. "He's just another victim of human phycology. Espiclaly someone like him, who had more answers than most people and he still couuldn't figure it out. Everyone is bron into the same egenrla idea of the world." She indicated her head towards the thick crowd. "If it takes someone that bad just to figure out what's going on with them and to end up that bad when life is the saem as it's always been for everyone and people have climbed up further with fgar less than he has, I assume something in him would probably break eventually at some point. Some people are just broken and that's all there is, no matter how much someone more luckily or reasonabily minded might be able to figure out."

"He didn't-he's ok, right?"

Bojack's eyes threaded into a snapped heat as his teeth poked out. Your fingertips threaded onto his hand in an almost neurotic expanse of your ow attmepot at tyring to find comfort in the expanse of the chaos otherwise.

She chuckled. "He went out as much as I'm sure it felt on the inside. He knew how to be able to execute that , too."

Bojack's worried eyes turned to yours, and your hand threaded onto his palm and his eeys guided into a sickly unceritny. You began to shove your wya through the expanse of the distrubed crowd as you continued to make your way through the disguntlement of the crowd. Some were already starting to turn back to the bottle, some were turning to their phones, most were making their way to the balcony, the most crowded part of the space outside and into the open expanse of the neon pool that was just as crowded as everywhere else on the porch outside. You kept your hand on Bojack's as he muttered under his breath while he followed you through the distracted and distubed crowd while unpleasant nosies and threads of unpleasant comments and superficislity eased through their conversation while you eased your hand on the door, turning it outward to the rest of the increasingly more dense crowd. Bojack grunted as he followed you while you shoved your way through them, your eyes turned up to where there was an expanse of several different slightly more important and less inheriebrted people that were dressed in their suits ad they stood with their cameras in their hand, turning down and over the balcony while their mutterign eased between each other.

"We'll use this for about a hudnered dollars a photo. Maybe more. A cleeberity death at a celerbtiy's house? It's practiallya skiing for banging bucks." A click of the flash of the camera, and another chcukle that weaved through the people that crowded densely above the balcony as they stood crunched agsitn the side of the balconly. "Won't be long now until these guys keep losing their minds and shit like this keeps happening until we're ranking in the big money."

"If you ask me that Bojack guy himself is already slipping. You see how much he's been clgining knot that partner lately? Seems like all these famous guys are just going through the motions of gradually losing their mind entirely until they end up making a blow for it over the edge of the balcony or whatever other kind of suicide attmept. Must have something to do with having a crisis realizing that no amount of accomplishment ever could have made them feel loved or settled down by a woman." Another flash, followed by the jolting of the man's shoulders beside the balcony as they eased their heads downward. "Plently of dough for us, and its not as if there's any reason to feel bad because these idiots are literally known for being terrible. It's just taking in the revenue for what it should have been from the start."

"Excuse me." Bojack's overwhelmed and timid air was being overtaken by his annoyance eof ego as it came to him so easily. He shoved his way past your arm and your head turned as he watched him ease his hands up timdly towards his chest, face defensive and eyes threaded up into a begging as his expression eased through the impact of the clutter of the phtograhpers. "Hi." He waved up his hand as his eyebrows threaded downward in ana ttmept of his own ease of confidence. "Yes, I'm the owner of the house tht you're babbling and going so crazy about." He popped his lip as his eyes threade between two of the men that turned their head to the side, one chcuking as he turned his head towards Bojack, both of them an especially unsightly but fitting mode for their air and context of conversation; a overweight pig and a blue jay with his eyes threaded down into a naturally rude michveilousness.

"Oh, ya are, are you?" The blue jay turned his head to Bojack as he eased his camera up to his eyes, snapping his feathered fingertip onto it. The white flash was enough to make Bojack's eyes dilated as he frowned while he turned his head back, tripping backward as his body tripped behind and onto yours. "You wouldn't mind making sure that we get every little detail of your upcoming own little battlefield of what makes you your own eventual disparagement, would ya?"

"Yes, I would. I would mind that incredibly. And you know that's obvious." Bojack's hand fell back from where it fell across his face as his breath snapped into annoynce with his teeth poked out, turning his head upward and over their bodies as he tried to get a glimpse of the balcony. The pig man tumbled his bog pover the edge of the balcony as he waved his shubby stocky arms up, eyes flashed behind spectacle glasses as he sutmbled his way over what was the borderline stack of a tent of the rest of the pappazir that stood against the balcony as he turned , stumbling over himself as he looked over at Bojack with a tendnttaive smirk.

"You wouldn't want to do that." His stout fingertips eased onto his glasses. Bojack raised an eyebrow as his arms crossed, the extent of his natural jaded exapseraiton reaching his full air as his eyes threaded over the pig.

"Really? And why wouldn't I? So you can publish it to your story newshouse later for something that Brad could have gotten just from showing up to this dman place? Just because you have the personality and the status of a bug dosne't mean you have to live like one."

"It's a sigh for sore eyes. Something that will be deeply embedded into your system for a long and tired while." He chuckled as his shoulers treamored under his laughter. "Better for you to wait for the low quality photos we'll put out with the nice and cleaned up caption. Just enough for us to be abel to get something out of people, not so much that anyone causes a riot or gets triggered. Just enough to be abel to get by, not enough to cause anything adveneterous or to inspire anything in anyoene else."

"Yeah, the way that it is with the city, I know. Just-" Bojack eased his way over to the rest of the staked thread of the pazzapi, and though there was some protest that came from them, they started to stumble their way over to the side, their heads snapping over to where Bojack made his way to the balcony, easing his hands onto the side of it. He paused as he turned his head over his shoulder and looked to you.; you didn't waste a moment coming over to him as your hands threaded onto th side of his arm, easing around it as he breathed in with his eyes dilated into that fear and smallness that could so easily be triggere dat times no matter what kind of font he wanted or tired to put on that he wished was as effective as much as it wasn't even in existence. His eyes began to ease downward, ears threading back as his expression turned down to where the rest of the people that were lucky, or unlucky, rough to make their way to the edge of the balcony were standing and directing their attention over to, threading their heads over to one another as their voices contuiend to raise into that same distuerbed talk.

The sky was expanse, polluted and black and as empty as much as it had ever been, at an odd contrast o fth ecluttered and ever busy expanse of a city that was never enough, even for itself. Bojack turned his worried and expansive secretive glint of his eyes that ehld more stoires and comepclity and emotion that you would ever be able to guess as his head turned up to the sky, until gradually did his expression ease over the balcony. You tried to keep him grounded as much as you wweere able as your ahdn pressed onto his palm, threading your fingertips against his, but his eyes dalted as he took in the image that was the perfect reflection to the mournful wailing that was snapping up through the mutteirn og the crowd as much as anything else was.

"Jesus." Bojack's voice was reflective into that somber disbelief as his head turned downward, ears splayed back as his head turned ove the balcony. Your eyes followed him, and the maturity of the solidified stone in Bojack's eyes was enough to make you fele a caution overcome you as you turned your head forward to where Bojack;'s eyes were turning, though already there was the undetstanfding of wat had occurred, whether wanted or otherwis as you felt that twist of a caution and wise black overcome you.

Brad was splayed back, his arms eased back against his broken neck while his mouth was twisted into what seemd like a mournful scream that had ripepd out of his lips before he had made his jump. TYhe glasses that had served a s protection to the inherbration that had haunted his eyes before were now twisted back against his face, hsi arms splayed out into such a broken and dusturbed fashion right along with the twist of his thighs that met against his twisted torso, one of which was broken along with the clear defeat of what mad eup his body that was twisted unnaturally. There was no sign of blood, but with the unnatural twist of his body as his head cracked at an awkward angle and his thighs twisted and bones 4ased intoa snap of an unforgiving unnatural thread of sickliness, you felt your own acccptence overocme you.. It wasn't necessarily hurt or grief or even shock; rather it was simply a natural human stoic acceptence of what was in front of you and the unforgiving nature of what it entailed for that night; of whatthe events that had occurred meant, or at least the weight behind them.

Bojack's eyebrows twisted intoa tremble, and then with a slight ease did he turn his body back against the rail. A stoic acccpetence and a certain mature shock of natural human reaction overcame his eyes, though there was a combined dignified grace to him as much as there always was. His hevay eys turne ddoenward, ears eased back as the heaviness of his eys eased down.

"We should cancel the party."

"What?"

"The entire event." His dry, mechlohlic eyes that held more life than msot you had eve rmet turned as he looked over to the crowd. "All of them. Everyone needs to leave. It was only a matter of tiem before sometimes like this came from even the slightest idea that I could make something feel connected or good."

One of the pappzrzzi laughed. Bojack's eyes harded as his eyes flashed over to her. "You think you're going to get anyone to leave at this party?"

Bojack's expression increaed in its harded glint. "Well, what would you have me do? After all this, what are we supposed to do, keep partying and use this guy as your personal paycheck for the month?"

"Yes?" She chcukled, as if the lack of irony in her voce added to the humor in his tone. "Bojack, really, you know what this is by now. He went mad, he probably ovcerdsoed on drugs until he didn't even have a mind to go mad in anymore. You know how it is. More than likely he wanted this for long tiem. At least he went out in a way that all of your types love to; which is the most loud and proud and above masses way that they can manage." HEr eyes turned, red hair bobbing while meeting the meichviouls glint in her eyes, soulleess as they were shuddering in the genuine extent of the satisfaction in her eyes, amde evn more ihuman by the glint of Bojack's pool. "We get out pay, he went out the way he wanted, and everyone here gets a story. There's no better success for a night than that, Bojack."

Bojack's eyes closed, hsi snout titling downward as his head titled down, and then his eyes turned up with a puffy glitned wounded defiance. "It's not a night I want. I want to make that very clearly."

The woman titled heer hea,d another amused laugh easing out of her lip as her head tilted. "You really think you can get all these people to leave? At his point, you're as good as the guest." She indicated her head up to the balcony. 'We'll be getting our timely due and we'll be done. Everyone wins. You did a good thing tonight, Bojack, and any bad had nothing to do with you. If you ask me, its been nothing but something you can use to put your mind at ease."

Bojack's eyes were conflicted, the dilation of his eyes becoming smaller as he turned his head up and gazed over to the crowd, ears spalayed back as his expression danced over the rest of the people that were ow impossibly compact, boht physically and otherwis,e their voices threading into the air of what was hte majority of the ir enjoyment of the trouble of whatthey were, for the most part, entirely maused in.

Bojack's heavy eyelids turned over as he eased his hand into a complacent indication over to the woman. "Did he say anything? Before he-" Bojack whimpered as his head turned up in thought. "...Jumoed?"

The woman's lips only raised up bittersweetly, and there was a soft melancholy that reached into her eyes.

"He only said that ulaitmlley he came to know that for all the pian he felt, he knew that at least the way he wanted to go now made sense, because he sai he had tasted and found the one thing in his life that would be worth it or even had been worth it. Before he snuck out and jumped-we tried to keep some eeys on him, we did the ebay that we could, but he was too detemirned. He was convinced that he ahd discovered someone or something they shared that was the core of the essence of his life."

"Before he jumped the man came over to me, stumbling around all inheriebrtied and the like." A frog dressed in a tight suite with a gruff and rapsy rough voice smoke with just as easily messy acccen;t Bojack turned his head as he looked over to where he paused in the photos of his snapping. "He said to not worry or mourn about whatever happend tonight, because whatever it was, he was only glad that he wa going understanding what it meant to go. Ssys he wasn't giving up because he was in diapir but rather just that his life and it's meaning had reached his end, and he wans't interested in the rest of it, and that it was his chocie, and a peaceful one." The frog shrugged as he gave a gruff cakcle. "Granted, I took it at the time that he was just drunk and spiling out anything that felt good for him to say. Maybe he was-but there was something in his eys that seemd like it was the most confident sentiment I had ever heard someone say, and there wsas a genuine peace to the way he spoke it."

Bojaack's eys were conflicted as they turned downward. You tried your best to follow him phsycuailly, though you knew that when it came to the spirla of his mind and the gaunrteeed lack of any promise of peace with it in the always guilty wretched heart he had and the incessant challenge of the world that follwod it, there would be no genuine peaceful conflsuion you would help him reach for the night.

"The woman's right." The frog gave a ease of his head and into a jolt of a nod. "I'd say just take it for what it is. Whatever was wrong with the Brad man, it ahd very little if anything to do with you at all. Just be grateful that you were able to have this time of impact. Brad made his choice, and he seemed at peace with it, and I mean that genuily. You;'re one of the few rare people who are even worried about the mortality of tis."

Boajck's eyes rolled up into an odd defensive, almsot embarrassed.

"It just dosne't make any sense." His voice faltered as he turned his head over to the balcony. The distance of his expression eased over to the balcony, though there wa sa wince to the bottom of his eyes befor eh even cosndiered the idea of going abc over to it. Your cheek leaned forward a syou allowed yourself to rest onto his, the sentiment attempting to follow him that he would be able to find rest in it himself.

One of the paparazzi shrugged. "It's what happens. What does make sense? When you have crazy people like this walking around and then pulling stunts like this, you stop worrying about making any sense of it or even caring about it and just let the damn mess happen."

Bojack gave abreath that was treamord in its lack of peace. His body turned as he stumbled back over to you, his body swaying only slightly with the infleunce of the alcohol now; the emotions had overtaken his mind that was more emotionally aware of what was happenin around him than was good for him. You turned your head up as you lifted your lips into a gentle smile while you met his own swaying body, eyes threading onto you as his pupils turned down into a gradual complacent heaviness, as was the default in his eyes the majority of the time.

"Why don't we go inside?" Both of your hands threaded onto his arm, and though he turned his head over to the stack of the pazzapri and had the look of deepend thread of pain in his eyes, there was a gradual extent of accccpetence as he breathed in.. He shrugged as he turned to you.

"There's no anything else to now except accept it, right?"

There was an edge to his voice, and you felt your own energy falter in the wake of his exapseraiton. Your eyes followed him as he pushed his way past you and over through the people that were becoming more lost in their noise again, already more occupied with whatever end result they got from their photos or tex messages or posts than anything happening around them. You knew Bojack's heart and you could see it in the impatience of his eyes, the puffiness of his impatience both with himself and with those that surorunde dhim in their superficial expanse of their noise. It was the complete opposite for Bojack, who had been forced into the compone tof superfiivcality of what surround dhim that he ahd been force dto pretend he wanted to be a part of from the start, and you could feel the annoynce threading through his body as he shouldered his way through the crowd that was complcanet in its own miserable superficiality malicious company. His hand shoved through the bdoeis, most of them serving as pillars of people that were letting out their own barley detuebd amusement from what was amusmeing them on their phones as they contuiend to become more eased into the comaplcney of the amsuemnt of anything that was human.

"Bojack."

"Hey, it's fine, right?" His voice snapped up into a slight ease of his own annoyance as he continued to maek his way through the party until he was at the open door, grumbling as he shoved his way through it, not botheringf to not offer a dirty look to the several people that btoehred to lift their headas from their phones to meet the hard glint in Bojack's eyes. "Just getting a drink. Can't make any of thes annoying people leave so we may as well try to make it tolerable by making it as non preceviable as much as possible."

There was the announce in his voice agsisn that was threading inot his edged tone with very little to any bothered apology. You knew he was becoming extenisvley more annoyed by what surrounded him because at the core of his heart he ahd ben born or something much more human, slower, and pure than the culture of what he had been pushed into to prove his worth; the core difference that was fully emboidmnented into what surroudne dhim now was only the fodder to his announce. He made his way over to the counte,er which mircailously had at least two inches of space for Bojack to ease his body forward to the glasses that rested against the wall that were the only whiskeys left that hadn't either bene drunken or stolen, and the only reason why the space of inch excised was because of how rpeoccupied the people were by the entriement of Brad's deaht.

"The ebay and only good part through and through of having this many people over-" He grunted as he eased his hands towards one of the bottle sof alcohol, easing his hand onto the whsikey as he dry eyes erased up to you that spoke as sonmeone who's own personal page of humanit had been ripped out. "-You geet tio stela their alcohol that they brought for their friends that they then leave behind because their too drunka dn stupid to be able to realize just how much they're leaving behind in their expensive habits and what they brought that was supposed to be theirs-" He tilted his head back as he popped the whsikey bottle open, turning his hea dbakcward as it began to spill past his lips and dribble down his neck in a way that was uncharastic for him with his natural grace the way he was even when drunk; he was gone now entirley, emouiosna and conumption of alcohol combined as he allowed the liquor to pass through his system. He turned his head back to you with his eyes dry while he fidsniehed off the majority og the bottle with an ease of a blech. You allowed your body to find its comfortbailty among the indifferent noisy of the masses as your arms threaded against his body, and through the intimacy alone did his pupils dilate in uncerinity, but he allowed the ease of your arms to meet by his own as his head titled down to meet the expression of the question in your eyes as you turned your head up to him.

"You know that you don't have to carry the philosophy of people that told you what they did back there, right?"

Bojack's eyes threaded down as he gave a shrug of his shoulders. Despite the attempt of casualty of it, there was a emotional hevaienss that follwoed shortly from behind with it that came through his every action, and especially wiwhin the rich arritsic complication of his eyes. "Arne't they right, though? There's no point in trying to make everything make sense if everyone has already done it for you and tells you anything else you come up with otherwise to shut up about it."

His eyes turned down to the whiskey that spalhed in the bottle of the whiskey, and there was a heaviness in his expression that met against the fold of old and tired wrinkled baggy eyes while he watched the way the rest of it remained splashed.

"Weird though, huh?" His voice was soft in that natural romantic wya that he carried, especially when genuinely cocnenred about something, and his trouebeld eyes turned up to you with genuine look of vulanebaility in his eyes as he met your troubled ones, more for him than for yourself. "Everything that happened with that crackhead lemur guy and his wife tonight-" He paused as he remmeebred the brief flash of the surrerlaity that had overcome his vision, though it felt like noe more of a surrlela and drug induced deam more than anything else. He shook his head with an ease of attempt at wearing it off. "-Now this guy and his supposed wife go flying off of a cliff in eitheer direction."

Your chin eased further knot his shoulder, reaching further to the intiamcy between the both of you.

"Did you know him?"

Bojack's expression lowered and his eeys dimmed.

"Never rally know anyone here except for the occasional women I slept with, really. If even that. And most of the time not even then. I mean, I saw him on his walks in the morning and sometimes he would even text me to tell me that he was going on one of these vacation trip bullshit things to get his tan. He was always doing it alone, that's the thing, but he seemd happy enough. Empty, but ulaimtely accepting of the way things had turned out for him, all things considered. And then one day he starts coming out with this woman type-this beautiful and eccentric looking spider woman that follows him everywhere and suddenly he just seemd like he was at a new type of peace that I didn't even know existed." His eyes lowered as he pause,d hsi eyes threading down as there was a slight hitch in his breath. His eys lowered as a somber feeling came over them, ands you pulled him further into your embrace, adn a lift of an edge of a smile tugged onto his lips as he felt his body turned onto yours. "Maybe it is like they saif and this is what he wanted."

There was a pause between the both of you, and the only genuine sense of familiar comfort was how you stradled him.

"It's strange about the way the spider women left, isn't it?" Your voice was reflective, though there was a tone of trying to reground Bojack from where he was in his own inherbeited state that you knew could spiral out in a multitide of ways if not regrounded. Bojack's eys turned down as his expression eased onto your body,

"Is any stranger than what I'm expected to put up with tonight?" His ers flicked back as the muscles on his face tensed while he gazed his eyes over the expanse of the busied people, words threading over their conversation as they continued to keep their busied energy against the phoen, their amsuemnt that came from the lack of observation of human suffering or even the care of how it was happening showing off in their inherent selfish human and lack of depth of what happened around them. You could see the disgust in Bojack's eyes while his eyebrows threaded into a twisted disgust as the hard expanse of his gaze eased across the jumbling of the space, and you felt your admiration for the rairtiy of his human depth od suffering that most people covered with either sleifhenss or detached irony unfunny humor or whatever other soullessness they could take the form of to keep themselves from having to be what they deemed as baggage for their inexperirnce and uncaring hearts and souls that would take something like compassion as a weight when it came to how cowardly, inceprienced, and inehriently lazy anf selfish they were without apology or pause.

You breathed in deep, resetitng your own exhaust as your cheek met Bojack chest. From the start he hadn't belonged in the throng of people that surrounded him, and you turned your head as you kissed against the side of his worn and stained shirt, but stil possessing that grace of comfort as it eased against your lips and that odd doiginity that came with huma nuance.

"It's incredible how little any cares. They don't even think of it. I don't think anyone would know how to car eleven if they tried, or know what that looks like. It's been taken out of them." His eyes turned down, as distant as ever in the deep of his lost eyes. "I'm almost jealous of it, having any damn or huamity beatne out of you like that. It must be nice, just being able to have that peace of bieng able to see or feel anything adn then somehow reducing it to a goddamn tweet or som less than either funny or quality form of conversation with whoever else had the same thing happen to them, and just take it. It must be a much lighter way to live."

"What happened tonight dosne't need to be forgotten."

"Sure." He tilted his head up to the crowd of the liquor induced space of the people that were already beginning to flcik their hands against more bottles. Sveerla of thewm were calling out in celebration and excitement toward several that were making their way in from the door and out to the party, easing their feet as they tripped over themselves and brought several bottles inside full of a casket of boxes. 'Except for the part where it already has."

"We can try to get people to leave. Tell them what happened tonight shoudln;t continued being talked about and that you want them gone-or we can just tell them its over for the night. Just because it's diffuclult dosen't mean that we can't."

"I shouldn't judge," Bojack's dry eyes, and that heaviness of of his puffy eyeags turned over his shoulder as he eased his eyes to the bottle that was waiting beside the whiskey he had just downed. "It's not as if I ever checked up on him or ever made sure that he wasn't infautueid with whatever…infatuation induced spell she threw onto him."

Your eyes turned agaisnt the side of his chest, as warm and comforting and having that extensive amount of richness that came along with the genuine love and connection ofhuamnity between the both of you that occurred only through the rhythm of your intimacy. Your eyes threaded ands eased through the woman and men, animals and people of other shapings and people eased their wya inside, their words threading out into what was what Bojack had just labeled it as; superficial uncaring. As they made their way inside and you heard Bojack eased his body against yours and thread it onto the glass beside him, choking slightly while he gave that gasped breathed and eased the bottle beside his lips, you realize just how much he drank for such drastically different reasons than anyone else in that party.

"Did you hear what they said? Out there? About you?"

It took Bojack a moment to respond, buit after finishing dowsing the liquor down his lips and giving a chocked breath, his eyes winced with the pain of it of taking so much in in one swoop and taking away by the wave of the force of it, sickly but content as he breathed in and pressed his lips together and placed it by the counter beside him.

"What?" Jaded and dry in his response did he spoke as he eased his hand out in an indifferent indication. "About the using the news for whatever two second entetainemtn they could get their stupid lives part? Because they're deifntley going to make sure everyone in this party and beyond to whatever state is going to be aware that Brad offed himself and jumped off of a goodman building after tonight. As a matter of fact, make it in the next two hours or less."

"What they said about you seeming the same as Brad-shoiwng the same signs of uncharastcitc infatuation and want and desire."

"Oh." Bojack's eyes took on a hint of vulnerbaility as his pupils dilated downward. There was a multituide of impossible thoughts threading through your mind in that momen,t jus as there always was and was rendering you into a thread o an odd sense of unstable lack of focus of anything around you; the focus you had on Bojack kept you grounded, as anything with him had ever did, and though it wasn't a perfect solution, it was well endowed and wleocmed well enough. He shrugged as a slight almost emotional shyness overcame his feauturs. "I mean, we did get married." The bottom of his eyes winced as his pupils turned to you. "Maybe that's a sign that we did something that was especially…not what people like that would expect of something like me."

"And you feel fine?"

Bojack head eased back into a slight surprise, as if he had been hit. "What?"

"You're not…" You turned your head down as you laughed. "It was unexpected and the both of you had a mirrored life before, right?"

"Jesus." Bojack turned his eys to the side, eyes expressed lowerer into exasperation. "No, I'm not going to jump off of my own balcony because I geet married, thank you. I don't know what was wrong with that Brad guy but that dosen't mean that it transfers over to me. We're not all born into one inbred unstable factory."

"I just wanted to be able to make sure that you're ok."

"Hey, I'm fine. As much as I expected a party with this man people would be." Bojack's chubby hands began to ease against your arms, and they were justtender enough that the idea of any conflict or of being a reaction or response to the chaos of what was surrounding you began to fall away in the gentle wake that came along with loving Bojack as deeply as you did him, the warmth and grounding of focusin on the rhythm of it feelingmuch more satisfying than anything that happened around you-the same way both of you had promised the both of you would no matter what change inevitably rehsaped the both of you as it came and passed through time, as it already was even only after a few months of being away from the cabin of where the both of you had felt your intertwination of body and mind in a way that had been more than just words and promises.

"You want to get out of here for a minute?" Bojack's words ere soft toned butt here was an edge to his voice that spoke of a genuine desire to leave. You eased your body off of his as your toruebeld eyes threaded agaisntt the heavy exhaust of his own dry eyes that were worn both with the sicklines of alcohol but just as much the way the night and the melchcolic noise of it was wearing on his spirit. You nodded as your hands threaded against the spaces of his hands, and Bojack grutned as he began to ease his way out of the chair. His head turned, swaying as he looked over to the rest of the people occupying the party, their heads thrown back as their laughter contuiend to make up the noise of the presences of the people more than the previous disbelief that had taken the people when Brad had been disoevred what mut have been only a half hour ago. Some were still in their mournin, their heads turned in their own disgurnlemet as they turned their hades, some of them more somber than before, but the generla consensus of the party was the people becoming more lost in their amusement again. Bojack's eyes winced as his head snapped back while a disgust overcame his eyes as his teeth twisted. Your eyes snapped as your tried to follow where Bojack's gaze had that disturbe dlook in his expression as it eased over the crowd. Your own eyes widned, despite the fig andf the multiple layers of what was induced by the alcohol that was flowing through your system as you began to see the same circle that had been amde before, this time more wide and even more expansive with people now sitting to the side. In front of the circle, on the edge and in the middle of it, where several men that were already starting to have their way; their fingers were threading and fucking into the air, some of them caressing their and son their thighs as their heads were turned back with bellowing coming out of their lips in their own mocking and pleasurable grotesque way that gave away that they werre giving into both sex and alcohol. None of them were geniuily fucking anything or even touchinganyone else, but they seemed as if they were lost in their pleasure enough that they may as well have as their voices threaded into the air with a thread of cracked voice sand drunk induced labor screaming out of their alchol induced lips.

"What is this? Are they making up for lost time and celebration Brad's deth by being the most annoying partoociatints and loser sin this party yeet?"

The men contuiend to pleasure themselves despite Bojack's words, which wer eloudly and pointedly spoken enough that they should have slice dinto the air easily with their intention; but the men only continued to thread their maddening and twisted scrowsl on their lips and their heads that were snapped back in an ease of lack of care and nothing but their grotesture natures of where they were losing themslvees in their own pleasure. The other people that were surorunding the party seemed less disturbed than the way they had been in response to Brad, all of them turning as their heads eased to the side while they bit down on their lip to one another with their eyes glinted ins something that was a juudgemtnal but ultimelly accepting kind of amusement.

"This is disguting." Bojack pressed his hands on his hips as he began to shove his way through the few people that wer ein his reach as he ford his way through the sea of the crowd, easing his body forward as he began to shove his way through the crowd until he made his way to the outer outskirts of it. His hands kept on his hips as his ears kept lowered backward, eyes hardened as he gazed at the several men.

"Hey." Bojack's voice, as jaded as it was, was almost too soft to be able to speak amongst the bellowing music and the sounds of the people jamming their handa against their own bodily pleausrs, but his hand waved up in front of him definitely as he tried to get the attention of the closest man, a white pale slender man witha black beard tha was growing from his chinw ith his eyes lazily turned back as his lips twisted into his own seemingly drunken influence that was just as grotesque as much as his compalcney and the ebay he executed it as his hands contuiend to thread and caresses against the inner most part of his thighs. Bojack's face, in all of its tense anger seemed like it was especially diginfed in comparison as he snatcched out a hand to the man; he abruptly jumped, and his ldided heavy tire deyes turned as his mouth eased open into amusement while his eyes threaded slowly up agsitn Bojack's body.

"Hey, man, get off." He eased out his hands and snapped them onto Bojack's wrists; but Bojak's announce only increased as shis other hand reached out and snapped onto his other shoulder.

"No, you get off."

"You have a wife, dude." The man drunkenly and lazily reached out his hand and snapped Bojack away from where he was gipping onto both of his shoulders with insistence; Bojack breathed in an awkward and frustrated breath as he stepepd his way back while he man eased his head back lazily. "I got this. Thai si my girl. You already got that chick following you around and trying to smash you every housr. Just go enjoy her. I'd rather have you doing a Brad than ending up harassign me just because you're mad you're not getting any."

Bojack's eyes dialtd in bewilderment as his pupils threaded over his in anger, thought along with it was mostly just the foggy extent of bewilderment.

"I don't know what you think you're doing, but you are literally just smashing your hips against nothing bu the air. I don't know whayy all these other drunk and brainwashed losers are encourgaing you, but I'm assuming its probably because they're just as far gone as you are."

"It's you against everyone else in the party, man." He eased his head backward, his neck littered in black spolts of his bread as it threaed down, his unkemept apperence matching the sloppy complacency of his actions. "If you ask anyone else hear they'd tell you I found the woman of my life tonight-and they'd be right. Just live for the moment, dude. What's come and gone has past. I found a cute girl crying like I was a second ago and we where tempted to be angry and distruebd about what happened the same way as you-until we decided to just live for what's happening right no.w Suffering in life is a constnat chpice, people are just making the wrong onces."

Bojack's ars crossd, sears splayed out in a way that suggested a paricualr increased sense of his one impatience as his eyes rolled up. You threaded your way through the slight space that Bojack had made from throwing himself against the bodies and you could see how much his aggrevation and annoyance was getting the best of him.

"That's a very wise, cute philosophy, and I'm sure that you would love me to be able to follow it."

"I would. I would-espcially if it makes you shut up." The buggy eyed man had that kind of voice that showed of more durken compalcnewy and a life made of distractions and denial the way that made someone sick and dead at aome ppint rather than of genuien soul; Bojack's eyes were dry with his own sarcasm as he snapped his eyes over to where his buggy eyed and lowered mouth compalcney was threading through his mouth.

"I would-if I didn't take my liquor a lot better than you did and can see with an almost tragic amount of obviousness htta you are very cleallry fucking the goddamn air, with whatever kind of convicntion that you have or anyone else in ehre has that somehow I'm expected to think is is a funny prank that you losers are trying to trick yoruslevs into instead of processing the death of Brad and his girlfriend like normal fucking people."

Bojack;s vocie was raising into a clumsy anger, and his vocie was starting to thread more people over to his attention. Several of them lauehd as they turned their headas over to Bojack, and a self consciousness overcame his eyes, the same way as it always happened with Bojack whenever he was at the public'sopposite onion, whether it was for better or not; his ears flickered downward as he gazed in front of his with eyes suddenly threaded back as an ucnerntain apology eased into his eyes as his ears flicked back, his teeth poked out as his fingertips threaded knot his wrists.

You finally finsiehd shoving your way through the crowd, and finally as you broke out you made yoru way over to where Bojack was tanding stotic, his previous confident frustration melting under the public gaze. You turned your head to his as you saw the fear ion his eyes while hsi teeth poked out, fingertips threadingon his wrists as his teeth tiested and fear laid in his eyes.

The groggy man began to striaghnted himself up. For the time being, you were only grateful for the idea that at the very least, the man was the only one that was offering you any sense of genuine attention.

"Wait, man." He chcukeld as his body eased upward, swaying slightly under his own influence as his body swayed. "You seriously don't see her?"

Boajck's eyebrows threaded down, the slight more confidence that came from his announce coming back as his eyes turned to him ina dry defiance.

"No. I don't see a thing. And I don't think that these pirates that are full oif sex driven and irony humor based losers to mask emotions is at any detriment to the fault of everyone here who is probably too drunk or high or can't take thier own liquor or weed dor drug liek old Bojack and don't fall under some wweir dhallucnation for the night. How many of you are evn particpaitng in this?" His voice cracked in surprise as his head bagan to eased up to the extension of the rest of the men that were enfolding their bodies under thier own tocuhes, some even taking to easing onto the ground a their hips jolted onto what was nothing on the floor undernneath it. Boajck's eyes winced as a disturbance took him as his head tilted back, his eased back. The groggy man turned his head over to the rest of the space of the ment hat almost semed sick in their delsuion, and proudly, and their bodies continued to eas eand fuck agaisnt the air undernreath their withering bodies.

"I'd day you were the ones on drugs, bro." The man laughed as his head tulted up into a mocking, his shaking trembling hand that had the clear affects of the simtulants he had addmitley taken that night that were too much for him taking over as his hand eased out and pointed at the both of you. It was an action that was enough to cause Bojack to step back as his hand eased on his arm, his tender uncertain eyes turning over to yours as his eyes eased onto your body with his ears splayed back.

"It's ok." Your hand reached out as it threaded onto Bojack's arm. He sighed as he eased his eys back to the man, who's mocking seemd as if it was just as triggerign to Bojack as the act of having the detrimental disturbing hevaior he was portraying; everything when it camr to social pressure and the like seemed like it wa sa jab at Bojack's barely tethering sanity when it came to people, no matter what else was occurring. You turned your attention to the man as your eyes threaded into a hard look of trying to remain as postured a syou were able. "I think you're going to have to leave."

The man blinked, groggy wide eyes glitning behind his black galsses; until finally with a raise of his lips did he let out an amused chuckle, one that threaded and snapped into the air in its mockery. Despite how pathetic and uncease at he was with himself it was, as he turned there were several men that were fucking the air that began to turen their heads up from where the groggy blinking man turned his feet over himself as he swayed his pale body ove rto them in his own asmued swyaing of his body.

"Hey, hey, Bojack Horseman and his plaything over here are telling us are cute girlfriends and hookups tonight aren't real. Isn't that a funny coincidence? That there would be this idea of it not being real? And right after the unstable craxkhead has started to try to recover from trauma of seeing a death tonight into a totlaly not cool way?" He swayed his body back over to Bojack. His slender and messy, barley focused arm reahce dout beside him to nothing, but the sentiment of it seemd beyond confident enough. Bojack wicked agsitn as he watched the man with his eeys ahrded as his eyes threaded over the man. 'It's like you're doing the totla opposite of hallucinating in a cool way, dude. Not our problem. If you want to complain about it why don't you go soehwere safe with your so real wife and see what she can do for you in her real way."

Bojack's face was expanding into something that was genuine fear as the walls of laughter began to raise up further, both from the men as they tmeprialy turned from where they were making love to themselves, as well as several woman and the other party pariucvapnits who were all into the same genre thread of Bojack's anger. His hands pressed on his chest in his timidn and femine way as the expression on hsi face twisted into fear while his worried eyes and teeth expanded on his face. Your head snapped over to him as you hadn found your way by his arm, threading your fingertips by his arm as you tried to pull him in.

"I don't knwo what you're talking about. What any of you are talking about." Bojack's were bugged and hollywood as his hands kept even further by his chest, voic trembling into that hopeless timid depsration as his eyes snapped up over to the man. He only offered him a sway of drunken lips as his body continued to sway.

"You're the one who's sick, Horseman." He spat the word with a certain sheer confidence as he contiuend to stumble back. Bojack's eyes hollowed furthe rin their fear as his pupils guided into an increased emptiness as he turned and looked in front fo him. "You have that unhinegd sickness in you. The more you get of it the mroe likely it is that no one will ever want to know you, and no one does; and the sicker you'll get." The man lazily raised up a pale hand to you as his body continued to sway while he stepped back and indicated his hand to you; you stepped your way back, if only to try and pull Bojack away from the spotlight as much as you could manage, though the majority of the people's amusement and their natural nature of mocking and judging rather than for anything gentle took the majoerty of both of your essences; especially Bojack's, who's eys contuiend to thread into a further look of vulnerability as he stepepd his way back with your hands squeezed onto his arm.

"Can you please just-leave? A lot happened here tonight and I know the party didn't even start, but I'd like to think that it would be possible if the majority of you could levae and have your party or your hookup and pleasures or whatevr else somewhere else?"

He was in full victim mode now, and it was heard in the treamor of his voic as he spoke. The pale man's air twisted as he turned his head to the rest of the crowd, letting out a gruff laughter as he tripped over his feet to the rest of the men that were now joining in kind to the raise of what seemd like their inhriently more confident tair than what had occurred a second ago.

"Please-I just need you all to leave this house-I need time with my wife-" Bojack's hand was tugging on his cheek as the desperation of his eyes eased forward into a tremble of white deserpate eyes. There was a hand that flashed out beside your own shoulder before you could find yourself to speak a suggestion; your head turned over your shoulder as you felt yourself jump when you saw the fmaialir look of the sharp jawed and edge woman with the clouds in her eyes as she snapped a pale hand towards you.

"Bring yourself to the back." Her voice was urgent, and her chin indicated itself sharply over to where Bojack's increaisnly more patehtci and apologetic melting was under the wall of what mad eup the dense crowd of people that had started an entire house of a party all on their own. "Bring your husband. You both need to what this if you want to be able to make sens eof tonight-at least as much as you're able to. I don't want to believe ethat what is occurring is; but I cna at elast try to keep the steps as clear as much as I'm abel to before anything gets even more foggy or uncertain than it already is."

Your head turned a syou looked over at Bojack. His head was turned over the side anf that twisted intimated fear in his expression was increased further , though it didn't take much for you to ease out your hand to threaded onto his palm. Boajck let out a gentle edge of a whimper as his eys turned forward and snapped to you in question; his eyes hollowed as he watched you, stepping back as he reache dout one hand in flat defnese overto the man that was mocking him with his pale body twisted back.

"Please-whatever happens, just pelase lave when you can."

"Let it go, baby." Your voice was gentle as you eased your hands on Bojack. He snapped his head over to you indefiance.

"He's making it very clear that he's going to use this house and the junvienal theme that I dared to give this party for whateve reason I can barley remember at this point fro everything its worth."

"Let him." The pale man's body continued to twist as he turend his head in an increased mocking with his buggy eyes flashing while he looked between the both of you.

"My girl is here because she decided I'm worth it just for me. Sorry if your money laden bags cna't relate, bro."

"Yes, major bragging rights, buddy. The air particle smust be thrilled with your presence and yoru sweaty induced hands throttling themselves onto the labor of having to tolerate you."

"Don't feed into it." Your hand eased onto Bojack's arms, graduating to his palms while your fingertips clenchhed agsitn his palm. He snapped his head over to you even as he allowed you to eaed his body back; Bojack was always at any momet ready and wanting to be eaed and helped forward with your hands, and there was a tenderness there of constant vulnerability between the both of you of him having the tenderness of always wanting to be at the object of your action and desire, and him having ahelpness and the cetrain perfectly patched air that made you want to be able to give that to him.

"How else am I supposed to express how incredibly and unimgibaly annoying these men are being? Not to mention delusional and incomprheibly unheahly to bleueve something like this."

"Did Bojack say that?" A woman with blonde hair stickign down her body threaded out in a complacent indifferent as her voice threaded through the sweaty and skin smelling itniamcy that came along with human intertwnation. "That guy always knows how to be out of the trend at the wrong time. But to get to the point where he can't even see what's in front of him? New low."

"What is she talking about?" Bojack turned his body, fairly gracefully considering the compact crowd and the trembling of bodies agasint one another as well as the sickly amount of alcohol he had induce,d his eyes focuse dinto her own disgust and other itnnes eemtoion the atmopehre was brining out of him as you contuiendto lead him through the crowd. The lemur man's wife only raised up a slender hand as she continued to thread her way through the crowd that was jamming and jolting agsintst her body, making ehr way out until she broke out of it successful with Bojakc following you with ab shove of his shoulders as the dirty glint in his almond empty eyes he was forced to offer the other people around him as he followed you out and broke though the crowd, a pant in his rhythm of breath as he finally follwowed youout through the last body.

"They;re going to be under the influence of what Brad inspired for some time. There's no choice now. It was bound to happen at some point once Brad and his girlfriend showed up."

Her voice was rushed and there seemed to en extension of urgency in her voice while there was a rushed egde to it. Bojack only followed you because your hanfd was gripped on his wrist while he grumbled and stumbled to follow you, half druken and siabeleld from the fact, and hopeless to try and follow you just for the sake of staying away from the muddled choas that had aggrevated him a second ago.

"No-choice?" Bojack's eyes eased up as he stumbled over his feet, though his hand kept gripped on yours, a sign of his desperate intimacy that was an extension of his beiwlderent. The woman turned her had sharply until her eyes were met by the open living room that led to the bedroom. Her plump lip rasied up as she pouted while her eyes turned as she threaded her express between the both of you, the polltd determined look in her eyes threaded into a sharpened glint as her expression tensed.

The woman breathed in as she snapped her exxpressiont ot he both of you, urgency still glinted in her expression. She indicated her head to the master bedroom door.

"Do eithe rof you have a minute to talk?"

"Do we have a minute?" Bojack's eeys lowered as her dry eyes turned to you, still swyaing with the ease of his body as it swayed. You face tensed as you met his delocated and disassocaited gaze as his expression threaded to you, and you only went on instinct and turned to the woman with a abrupt and impsulove nod.

"We're not sure what to do after what happened. The way both of them went at the same time-" You turned your head as you looked badck to where the fairly trashy men were still threading their hips against air with their mouth twisted and turned forward, eyes rolled back as limbs hit and twisted in their apparant confident pleasure. The woman and men that surrounded them alike only furhte rin their amusement of their anticis, and they all seemd as convinced as much as anyone of the intertiwning of their bodies agaisnt others. Your eyes threaded into a frantic thought of bewildermnet as you turned your head back to the woma, who raised one eyebrow upward as her shapr eyes threaded bdtween the both of you, her breath still coming out in waves of her own desperation that seemd ont he verge of something urgent. "Maybe we're all going through our own drunken and possibly drug induced wya of trying to process it all."

"Yeah. It's a process called processing. Something that the rest of the inbred people around here don't seem to be aware of." Bojack's head turned as he contineud to sway with the lack of balance in hs posture.

"Good." The woman threaded her hands across her chest as she readjusted her posture, snapping her head over to where the entrence to the master bathroom was at ease in welcome. There was still too much of an impact of people for it to have any significant ease over and into it, but she began to thread a way through the crowd with her arms while starting to jam her body through the crowd. You kept your hand eased onto Bojack as you heard his occasional grunts to accompany you as you threaded your way through the crowd, following the woman as you did so as she made her way to where one man was keping his body jammed onto the side of the bathroom door, his head eased up while his hips gridned agsitn the side of it, teeth enclamped onto his lips as he closed his eyes into what was meant to be pleasure.

"Chirst. I did not know that tragedy and having lsoers see it was going to be a recipe from incel central." Bojack's eyes were threaded into a hard disgust as he watched the woman ease her pale hand onto the man's shoulder; he snapped his eyes over to her as the wideeneed until he stumbled over his feet as the woman snapped her pale hand agaisnt her shoulder and jamemd her wya through the bathroom.

"You watch my girl!" The man snapepd out his abrasive call as his eyes glinted into an extent of madness as he snapped his head upward. His hands were holding agaisnt a possessive space that served as nonexistent as his lips jamemd forward into an abrasive glint of his jutted out jaw. "She's new to trying it out with me. Go easy on her!" "She wont' be here long anyway. You know that." The slender women pushed her hand against the white door to the mater bathroom as white walls met her abrasive forwarded steps as she walked her way briskly inward.

"Whos is he talking to?" Bojacl's voice was coming to clarity if only for the panic he was feeling himself in the middle of the strange narrative and imgianry in front of him. He made his way inside as the woman laughed, briskly and with a sign of exhaust as she made her way inside of the bathroom, turning until she sat herself beside the edge of the king's tube while her legs twisted agaistn one another. She indicated her head to the other side of the bathroom where two small ledged white walls were waiting for the seating of both of you. Bojack's eyes snapped to yours, mane spewed out in black as he continued to sway while trying to regain his balance. You eased him over to the side of the white jutted out wall as the bathroom door closed with a last minute thought from Bojack as he turned and pushed the door behind him with a grunt, tripping back as his lazy drunken black eyes threaded toward syou own in their duken ease of exhust for everything that had occured and the comcpliated layers of everything combined that would turn up later that Bojack was emotionally wise enough to see coming, if he knew anything about human nature; and Bojack ceritnly did.

"The men iutt here aren't well."

"Yeah, ok." Bojack chuckled as he grumbled and stumbled over his feet until he eased his body with a slam beside yours, body swyaing as hsi exhausted and sickly eyes eased up tot he woman. He leaned his body back as one arm laid lazily beside the wall as he watch her wth a durkne melancholic gaze, his other thigh coming to res ton his leg as he watched her with a tentative dry expression. "Are you starting with stating the obvious now or should we try something a little different and start from scratch?"

The womna breath in as she turned her shapr eeys down to her thighs, dusting away debrios of fust that wasn't present on her thighs for the ssake of having something to brush at all or tor distract from her discomfort.

"I lost something precious tonight." She turned her head up as she met Bojck's eyes with something that seemed as if it should have been defiant, but there was a maturity of something that seemed beyond her own sensibility or what was her own awareness that was projected onto Bojack's and her hyper take in of his own needa. Bojack's eyes met heres as much as he was able to within in barley present senssiblitly as he swayed by the couch. "But with the way things are going with the two of you and the way I've come to know the both of you, I'd almost say that it's something that seems like it makes sense."

"We have literally no idea what you're talking about." Bojack's handa raised up into what was meant to bea drunken gesture as he swayed. Your hand only reached out to ry and guide him back to you; his hed turned as he offered you a moment of his tempailry sickly drucken state.

The woman breathing in, then eased her shoulders into a roll as sh straightened her body upward, as if forming herself for news.

"My husband dosen't know who ia m anymore. Teh sacrifice that I made to came and try to find him was for nothing At least from my end."

Bojack scratched the side of his neck, his eyes ddartign to you in bewildered question before landing back onto the woman's body again. "Ok."

"I would be angry at him, and I was going to be. It wouldn't have made any sense, it would have made even less sense from his head and all things considered it would have ended into another countless disaster for the both of us that would only take away the few minuee bond I've had with him even further away. If there was any chance I would be able to redeem myself through him an finding what I sacriifec to be able to love him and with it already being distant, it would have been guaranteed beyoidn recall had I acted on the amount of hatred thaht I felt when I relaized the decision he made, and all just for the sake of trying to find what he thought was worth what I did everything for to find him, to have what w;ve shared."

Her head turned tot he side, and her lip rasied up into a bitter reflection as her hands threaded onto the edge of the tube.

"I'm still angry at him, and I feel that I may have destoiryed myself being in this version of our life togetehr for nothing. As a matetr of fact, I'm certain of it." She turned her hea dback as she she looked between the both of you. There was a clouded richness in her eyes, but just as much was there the extension og what seemed like something that was polluteed and tearing itself apart from the sindie out, and there was something inside of her that barely seemed human, even just compared to the way she had looked only a few hours before. "But then I met you. Bojack Horsemand. And the broken desperate, unlike the specific way that you hold it inside of you and the way you carry it with your essence, and the beauty that came out of it that-" She paused as she turned her head downward, breathin in as her shoulders roleld. "I knew tht I had to understand my husban'ds deciisosn, despite the fact that it meant I traveled and cmae here for nothin. That I had done everything I did, forced myself through the world for nothing. Though things I didn't even know were possible; and in a lot of ways they weren't, and shouldn't have been. But I did figure it out, and my husband and I did find oen another, and we could have had an incredible life toegtehr, eveything I did for the sake of making sure we could love and take care of oen another."

"You..came from somewhere else." Bojack said the words slolwy, somberly, and there was distance in his expression that spoke of something that was vaguely patronzing; but the truth that was in the woman's eyes and even more through her tone was giving towards every insuition or any superficial exhust of capurd invaldiaiton that either of you could have or wanted to manage.

"The thing about people like me-the people who are to try and make a change for themselves, for their lovers, for other people in general that they can feel they love across expanses is that it gets to the point where you're as open to the enrgioes of others that have the same ehart of thread of deseprationa s you. When I felt the brokenness of your desperation, Bojack, of the beauty of your wife-" Her eyes turned, and the cloudneess was increasing into something that was becoming more compelling than you knew what to dow ith as you flet your body eased back at its impact. "-my anger made as little sense as mucha s my husband sacfificng our lvoe, our island of survival, as much as it was to feel it; nothing at all, and yet we couldn't resist donating to it. To the two of you; what you have the potential to share. What you have the potential to conunite to spread out. If you were able to be aware of the kind of profound spiriulaty you codl share across expanses of univsreses and worlds or were even partway aware of how icnreidble it is that it would drive anyone to madness one way or another just to get a tast eogf it-suddenly, the only thing that makes sense is to become a aprt of it. And so I udnerstadn why my husband did what he did, even though now he's like most people and isn't awar eof the multiple possibilities of the lives we're all living at the same time that he's only awayre of on a subconscious level. And I want to hate him for it, and in a sense I do, because all things cosndiered w've boht lost. And yet I can't be mad-I've been draw like an animal to what both of you have,, and like a hunger I felt like I was compelled to be drawn to it. I can't fight thst feeling, I couldn't when I first felt it even though I knew the whole resosn why I felt the need to leave my first life was because I needed to find something that was on my side; a life that had worked out." Her lips rise dup, almost as if there wa sa bitter secret that was being shared inside of the just as equally exhausted extent of her tinted eyes as they blinekd rapidly. There wa sa wet to them that eased into an ease of a film as her eyes threaded between the both of you, and with a quick sipe of her hand did it meet under the space of skin that was barely seen as human in comparison to her eyes that were becoming increaisnly less reconzinable asanything even remotely coherently as such of dipaalyign something as basic as tears within the profound fanasty of her eys. She turned her head to the side as she breathed in shakily, her expression turned away for a moment as the cut bop of her hair met the ease of her jaw. "And yet, even then, somehow there was something that I couldn't have guessed yet myself,-something I didn't see coming. And that was, even in my own perfect version of my fantasy that I could and did manage to make with the love of my life, there was still soemeone to take and replace it on the other end of all that, even then. And the strnagest aprt is that I can't even bring myself to loathe my husband for it or to hate him-feeling what the both of you have the poentila for, what you have the ability to make and to be. It demands a power. We were like busy comapred to it-" Her voice caught as her eyes turne onward, and her fongerstips trmebeld and gave awya the nervous extent of her exhaustion and the nervous conflcit in hsi expression as the muscles on her face cramped as she eased her hands agaisnt the side of her thighs. She fluttered her eyes back up as he r lip raised up into a bitter contment of acceptance. "I want the both of you to keep yorusleves as close togetehr as you can. What can be out there, the potential the both of you have-only from the simple essence of what and how you lvoe one another. It would drive anyone mad out there-rich, poor, or anything else hat made anyone who they were or have ever been, because most people are all deprived all in that ame wya that would drive thrm mad if they were turned off from all distracitons and felt tot hat full extent what the both of you are and fell and do just form the virtue of loving oen another. I did evreyrhting to find my husband and I thought my love would be enough, and in a way it was. Something I didn't see coming was the two of you having such peaceful demand to it that we would have given up everything we had ourselves for the sake of benign abel ot feel and know that kind of love-to continue to seee it thrive and spread. Like a crack of something that feels so good that yuupu'll give eveyrhtin up just o witness it, even if its not your personal gain."

Bojack's eyebrows furrowed as his expresion eased towards your body. There was a flick of conflcit in his eyes as he eased his body forwar,d fingertips resting on his palms in what was clelay mean to be a self attempting wya at keeping himself calm in the middle of what was his own logical jaded beiwlderment. Your hand rested on his shoulder, if nothing else to keep him as close to a reminder to keep himself as grounded in whatevr comabck he came to as much as yo u were able to stop him.

"What's your name?" Bojack's eyebrows were threaded into an unapologetic cocnenr as his eyes flciked over his body. She laughed a sshe turned her head down with a sweep of her neck again, her fingertips pausing against her thighs as she turned her head downward with a bitter reflection of his eyes as her fingertips played with the edge of her dress that played with her fingertips.

"It dosne't matter now. I won't be here much longer anyway." Her head tuerned up, a ominous distance that was now becoming protrued and demnaing enough that even just to see the minute flash of a glimmer of it was enough to make you feel your body straighten up into a subcocnious defnes.e "I mad emy choice. I mad emy chocie from the start, but I didn't think about what I was doing or thinking, not really, and I never would have thought even on my most crazy day that it would have led and ended to something like this. The world won't help you, people won't help you. If you're helpless you're dead, and that's why hard working successful peple lose their heart once they reach a certain amount of success, knowing what they had to do and be to become who they were. It's no differnet for ccoming into your soullamte or tyring to find them or anything else besdies." Her voice paused as her lips were rasied partway outward, eyes threading into a distance as they glimmered over both of your bodies, the foggy edge of distance increasing in her eys and mebdding something as demnaign as in human. Her head turned down as she cocked it, and with a pressing of her lips pressed against one another and a nod of her heead, as if with an oinner aggreemnt to herself, did she get herself upward.

"Lady-" Bojack raised up a hand as he eased his body back. She turned the sharp of her eyes over to him with her face still frozen into a steern exhult, and Bojack's eyes widned slghlty at the clouded look that polluted in her eyes as her lip jutted outward. "Look, I feel liek maybe you've had too much of..eveyrhting tonight." He scratched the back of his neck as he turened to you, and you only allowed your hand to kep firmly on his back as you nodded into an ease of enocurgament. Bojack's worried eys turned back to the woman/ "I just want you to know that what you're saying tonight, it dosne't make a lot of sense. I think you might've not onlly had to deal with all those people out there but you might have taken a few hits yourself, know what I mean?" His eys were rasied into an extent of a helpelss precious wet of his eyes with his smile raised up tentatively, his hand still scratching on the back of his neck as he watched her body, stotic and self accepting as her body was eased agaisnt the door. The softness and the timid concern that dressed Bojack's expression was enough that it caused your hand to thread against the side of his arm, squeezing it gently as your hands threaded against his body. "You can lie down for the night. Of course you can. We wouldn't keep you from being able to get out of this…bad headspace." Bojack's wor eyes turned to you, as if to pinpoint your agreement; your head nodded, though you were only doing it for the sake of your own comfort and to attempt to make it his. Bojack breathed in deep as he rasied his body up from the edge of the side of the bathroomm edge, waving his hands to the woman as his eeys kept on that gentle timid apology as his handa waved in what was meant to be an apology. "I know you;ve had a hard night. Maybe your husband will remember you in the morning when you're not both surroudnened by people drunk out of their minds and too wasted to see in front of them."

The woman's eyes, now entileey lcouded with what seeemd like cosntna tspeeded movement in her eyes, frantically eased against his body. She began to step back as she snapped her hesd to the door, essing her hands forward to it as she pressed her ghanf against it.

"The men out there will be like this for awhile. They got lucky tonight, all things cosniderd. They ended up being able to do and be whatever they wanted for a night because some of the moe lower spiritual garabe decided to force themslevs down here through the small hints the layers that broke for tonight because of Brad and his girlfriend's unbecoming tonight. These people at this party that are just as low quality as the spirits that snuck through as much as they are won't hestiannte to continue to make this their biggest night; superfiical and trahsy expereincers that these mena re having with other people from other lives just as superifiicla as them and just as trahs in the soul are meant for these experiences to be the forefront of their lives. Of their quality of being. If you can even call it that. But they'll boast and they'll take what they can get for the night because that's what the low quality people do when it coems to anything that feels like humanity, even if it less than half od anything that actually makes it. I'd sugegst keeping by yourselevs and not making too much, or any, noise or remarks about it for the time benign until it passes."

Bojack's expression eased towards you as his hadna played. He pasued as he gave a gruff breath of his lip, ears lowering back as his fingertips eased onto the front of his snout as his eyes closed, showing of just how truly old and worn he was, and addign to your want to comfort him as you stood up adn eased your hadn against his shoulder. His eyes lowered as he turned his head and eased his hand onto your palm, though his eyes became hardened aagin when he looked back to the women.

"Listen, I know how much this town can drive people crazy. I haven't-necessairly been in the same mentialitythat you've bene, but I understand what it feels like that you need to dres up a narrative for the sake of protecting yourself. I'm not taking that away from you. But if you think I'm going to stand here and take some…lroe background thing that you came up with in only the past few hours, and especially while we're all incredibly drunk, or to eeven make sense of it, then I think you might have the wrong idea on the nose." Bojack's eyes lwoered as his fingertip tapped onto his snout while he contineud to sway. "Got it?"

The woman's lip raised intoa slight bitter amsuemnt. Her expreson turend to you. "Quirky, isn't he?"

"Hey-I'm just trying to litghten ht emood from the lore background goth backdrop vieb you have going on here. You think I'd hear that and drop to my knees and thank you for? What?" He waved his ahdns into a circle in a comical exasperation as he stumbled forward, yoru hand squeezed on his shoulder to ease him back. "For the sake of you jamming us in her and not telling the difference between reality and the last story you heard from the last stoner you hung out with? Bojack don't follow the no-no's of sotry lore partying." H9e waved his hands in front of his dismissvely, drunkenly, and your hand kept him grounded as you tried to stop him from increasing in his swaying. Hsi arms crossed as he rasied abrow. "Or keep up with whatevr weird and not real roleplay party games you come up with."

"You can take the ebdroom for the night." Your voice was straight edge and to the point as you spoke. The women turned her head, much more somber than the two of you over as her clouded eyes flickered between the both of your bodies while a plump lip rasied up.

"Thank you." She turned her bodyt owards the door as she paused it, then eased her hand down agaisntt he door as her head turned down as she breatehd in gently. She turned her head up as her pained and exrneisvely busy eyes threaded between the both of you, eyebrows knitting into an emotional exhust as she did so. "Brad and his girlfriend-they were a lovely type. Nothing compared to what I felt between the both of you, but its no wonder the woman wnet mad when she found out that she had made too many risks to be able to find Brad."

"What-you were able to see Brad and his pink tintied girlfriend smashing adn trshing each other, butno one else was?"

"There's no one else at this party that's prepared in the way they need to be. Other than my huband and I, who I'll forget myself very soon, and now the both of you." Her lip rasid up itno a gentle softness as the cloudiess of her eyes snapped between the both of you. "And now these others-I can't seee them as anything for what they are in this word;; people who are lowly not because of money or status but rather because of what they don't have or ever will have, in the spiritual sense of being as poor and as pathetic as it becomes, and yet its a choice, just as it is with the invssible people who are making love to them in your living room that the rest of the superficial amsses that can met their ennergy are seing outside now as we speak. It musses them, the rot of the spiritualess energy, and Brad and his woman, all things cosniderd, I'm sure feel it in another life-the gratutuide that comes along with what I';m sure is the backhand complement towards falling into such despair towards such other lolwey people of even benign capable of loving and feeling another so deeply to the point where the loss of it would drive either of them to madness; that they weren't seen and known or recingizned from the start, as it were, and all things considered."

"Lady, that's is…relaly somehting." Bojack's eyes wwere wincing timindly as his pams pressed together. You kept your hand threaded knot his shoulder for the sake of kepping him by you, andf his head turned as teeth poked and eyes dimmed as he watched you. He turned his head back to the woman, slightly more somber, but still on thee gde of his own dneability of anything more going on other than what was. "But my wife and I were only trying to throw a party tonight. I don't knwo why people are seeing things this way and the other way-" His hands snapped to the side in his annnoyance as hsi eyes turned up. "But I do know how good it is to feel in control of what I wish i was, and this si already out of hand. Can you please keep whatever fnaatsy lroe you have to yourself? I don't want to hear it tonight. There's too much going on already." He grumbled as he stumbled to the side and turned his head towards you in that respectful and attempt at being including towards you way as he watched you in hiss tumbling uncerinity. His hand waved lazily to you as ihis head turned while he lifted hise eyebrows in question. "What do you think?"

Your eyes were edged and as cocnenred as much as they ever were conflicted and gentle as your expressin turned to the woman. Her head titled to the side, and the unreadable sorrow and the further increased crowding in her eeys increased as her head tilted, lip trembling ith only a slight waver as much as she would allow it.

"For you own good, for the sake of what my husband and I sacrifice tonight, at least make sure you believe and take in the advice that the both of you will keep each other close as much as you're able to. It's not as if you won't affected anything if anything ever gets out of line with the both of you, but your balnce as been doing so well, and if anything were to happen to make either of you get out of line or to suddenly become unaligend with the way you're balanced within and with one another-" She paused as she turned her head downward, eyes dimemd as an acceptence threaded through her body. "I can't imagine. I don't think anyone eneds to."

"Yes/ There we go. Les things to worry about. Now we're getting on the same track." Bojack's lips rasied into a genuine contemtmne tas his eyes glinted ith a thread of softness and enlightenment. His hands pressed on his hips as he turned to you in hi cantonment. "That is one thing we can agree on."

The energy in your eyes increased in its cocnner. You knew Bojack had a poetic human depth that transcended your respect and attraction and eased into borderline inimtaiton; he was taking the superficial route for the time being, part form benign drunk, part to protect from what you sensed he kenw was rule. The women's eys were turned to you and her eyebrows were lowered uinto the cloudness of hr desperation for you to follow where she was coming from, and somewhere, you knew wha she wass spekaign was real; and that Bojack knew too, in his own tragic and natural emotional matorty and natural insght and somber soft spoke approach to human existence.

"We'll talk in the morining." The agreement to your words in Bojack took itself in the form of his tender eyes turning to you, ears lowered as his expression expanded onto yours with a slight raise of his lip, though mostly there wwas there only sickness and is own extenisve worry and the want of tyring to be away from what was surrounding him now that itimaoted him, though you knew if you were to take that depth going forard, his ownwretched and naturally wise and gentle want for good and to understand would follow.

It wasn't as if there wa anything that could be done about the abraaisv demand that made up your bodies and the general air regardless.

The woman nodded as her lips pressed toegther. She rasied out a shaken hadn as she began to turn it back out, the foggy feel of the cigarette smoke and the modern stimulants and the sound of the people and their sweaty induced uncaring impsulive intimacy thread and spoiling itself throught he air and cutting through the ominous extne tof wha was weaving through the air otherwise and settling through the atmosphere that made you want to know it more.

"Tomrrow." She whsipeered it, as if it was a secret hat only she was aware of the true meaning of. She turned her head down, and the muscles on her face paused as the tremaored while a worry came over her. She nsapped her back back over her shoulder as she eased her eyes between the two of you. "Whatevr happens, don't worry about the lowly people you've invited her tonight. The comparison of eing kings or queens or any king of royalty or of anything else besides is pale in comparison to what the two of you are toi one another."

There was anodd warning in heer words, and Bojack's already conflicted tender eyes were becoming all the more hollowed into that richness that made up his personal brand of cofnlcito as he turned his eyes towards your own, his ears rested back. Your head turned up as gave her a genelt email, met just as well with a nod.

The women nodded, once again within heer own agreemmnet ot herself of whatevr inner monolouge she was wrestling with, and then began to thread herself outward and back into the throng that made up the party as she forced her way outward and into the expanse of the humbling bodies that surrouned one another within the large expanse of the waved shouted air of other people as hey whsilted and contuiend tin their trahsy celebration of what they had. Bojack breathed in deep in his signature way as white worried eyes met yours again. Your head turned down as you felt your own exhaust easing over your body at what had just occurred.

""Just like a party like this to attract all this mayhem. And to think that we haven't even properly started hosting yet."

There wss, all things considered, an edge of humor to Bojack's tone, and you foud reasrnace in that as you eased your head downward and gave a laugh, though it came out as jaded and broken as much as it would have been expected by th events of what had unfolded that night. Bojack rasied his lips up intoa smile as his own relief overcame him from the way there was at least a slight breaking from the tension.

"I don't think they ned any help." Your eyes turned up to the open door as you gave your shoulders an ease downward, breathing in as you attempted to reset yourself from the tension that had gripped your body a moment before. "They seem to be pretty confident in what they're doing out there with or without us. Theyre essentially just using this as a vacant space at this point."

"Right." Bojack's eyes threaded down, and he rbeatehd in deep as his ears flickered back. "Well, at least we managed to find one person that was at least attempting to be decent. You tke what you can get when it comes to this town. Or, rather, as a speccies in general."

"Do you believe what she said?"

Bojack's slightly theatrical prescence was now eased into defeast as he gave a shrug of his shoulders, now left alone with nothing but the reassuring prescence of you and the promises that was spoken between them. "Do I believe what se said? Drunk and high on emotons and God knows whatever else that is inflcuneing her current headspace? Not especially. When you take into contect of what she said and how little sense it made to me, even less."

"I think it made sense. It made snes ein a way we were made to understand. And I know you feel that too."

"It made sense that she said she came froma different life and that she felt her husband was someone from a different life that she felt like she sacrificed herself for and now has to give in to what she felt we sharted for some greater purpose?"

His voice was blunt and straight ot the point in his exasperation, but, as always with the nuance of his voice, there wasn entry for compassion and elbow room for understanding. Bojack begant o make his way to the door, turning as his hands rested on his hips teaisngly as he rasied a brow with his eyes exapserted.

"I feel it. I know I do."

"You know that, huh?" He turned as his lip raised up into a drunken but ulaitmely charming and self aware well enough of his own stability to turn as he turned to you with his hand raised out for you to take yourself into, body still swaying as he leaned his body open to the now cracked open door that he kept open to the extension of the people screaming and yelling into the clatteirng and broken glass and the expansive yelling and fog easing from the outside. He swayed as he turned his head to you, eyes still lowered into a drunken sickliness as his feet eased. You smiled as your ehad turned downward, then walked yourself over to him as your hands eased and squeezed onto his palm. Bojakc grunted as he pushed himself against the door and began to make his wya out, though not before he stopped, the lights easing in front of his eyes as he paused while they met against the blue lights and the slightly more fogrviing anf gentle aurora that was now passing in front of his reflected eyes as he paused for a moment, taking in the stumbling ease of the people from the outside party with their careless eyes rolled to the back of their head, mouths twisted out and now the average stumbling over their feet with any coherent direction, the majority niw caressleslly but happily threaded against one another's thighs and even further against each other's bodies while arms and mouths comcplimented the same action.

Your cheek rested on his shoulder as you swaye dby him. He pased for a moment as he blinked, turning his head down as ears lowered while the muscles on his face treamored as he eased his head downwar.d

"This is probably the best thing that U;ll ever do for anything outside of the saviour feeling that we give each other. Honestly."

"What do you mean?" Your chin raised up from where it was rested against his shoulder as your head turned up, your eyes turning oer to his as it reflected against the edge of the reflection of his snout. He had a parituclay majestic melancholy of someone who was intlelogent enough and observant, mostly to his detriment, to see what was truly happening for most people, the cluttered nature of the hardwork people felt they had in just existing and the foggy bewilderment that came from that and what was theirs in life direct to their existence and what was theirs and what was only a reaction to something happening bigger than around them. For most people the line was blurred, and they were saved from having to analze themselves from what was truly theirs andf contuibed to their existence and their worth and what was something that would happen with or without them, whether they rtelaize dit or not, and only became reaction rather than their own genuine person of a leveraged feeling of dignity anf self respect that was inherent and the average could feel both the lack of and the blessing of whether they wanted to or whether it was prsnet or not, relating in the form of what most people considered a "good" or a "bad" mood.

Bojack was the kind of observant and intelligent that he could understand and see and be more aware of this disticiton btween what was worth something and what wasn't in his own existence, and as it was for most of the inetibily of what happened after someones' coherent texistent was gone, a factual presence of either loss or lack therefor or of gain, he was aware that for4 himself and for those outside of him, the answer wasn't forgiving, anf it was the furthest thing from the rest people craved that was in battlement of the human condition of wanting proof of exiwstnece or of mattering.

"I don't know. It's just-" He pasted as he gave a shrug of his shoulders, his eyes squinted into his own cosnideraiton of the heavy thoughts that caame to him so easily. Your cheek eased further into a gentleness against his shoulder while your hands squeezed his palm. "When I amrried you, for some reason I thought that was something that would be inheeriently unselfish. Taht loving someone else deeply, for the first time feeling like I could, would somehow make me never feel shitty or like I was just some useless self cnetred somehting of nothing like I see in so many people again. I thought it would…heal me, somehow, in a wya that always disgusted me about other people and something that always disgusted me about myself."

You rpessed a kiss to Bojack's shoulder, your cheek easing against his as you did so, not keeping the thread of your heated eyes up to his to keep encouraging him, and catching him with the thread of wherever it was where he needed to be acute where there were only pitfalls otherwise.

"I don't know. There's something sad about nights like this-something about these people that I cna tell have dreamed about living, isnide and outside, more than they ever have or ever will, and I like that I can give this to them. But I cna tell how sick and desperat they are. They don't have the tools or the people or the oppoutinuies to live life the way they want except for nights like this thatthey get to blomb onto like some desperate knot for people that don't even like them. This is the best night, or one of them, these people will ever get. The rest is through daydreaming or watching thighs or productions that they don't even understand, and they don't even know or udnerstandf just how much they're botha victim andf how much they play into this constant demand of the industry, of people in general, that seems inhreint in keeping people and their natures of wanting something thats the sentiment of love in the sake of fame. They're never going to be good enough and they know it, and the only rason why they want to be is because tis imposisblet to fight agaisntthe emotional absue of the world if you don;'t play or flal into it in some eway een if ti was destined to detory you."

His eyes were threaded into a heaviness as his eyes turned downward, the muscles on his face tense as the ehaviness on his face increased into an extension of increased heavinness as he turned his head downward. The peortic and reflective nature of his tone was mad ein the somber deep of his voice that was compelling but held reflections in it of things he felt and knew for himself and for other people, whether he wanted it or not. Though for the most part his mehlcony was dressed up for himself the large majority of the time, there were these moments where there was s profound peotirc human grace and emotional isnsight, and itt took you away how much he naturally eased you in through his aristsic grace, as model dinto melancholy as much as it may have been.

"When we got married I thought it wold feel like it would be this inhrietnly unselfish thing." His head turned as his lowered eyes eased over to yours with the heaviness of the emotions in his eyes increased while he met where your chin wa stilted against his shoulder while you turned up and met his. "It turns out that it makes life feel so much more human, so much easier for us-but you still see all the suffering and the bad things and the over expanse of the world and of other people and their problems, and it still gets sto you and destroys you as much as it did before. It's just that now you have a softer place to land."

His dry eyes turned back over to the party, his eyebrows lowered intoa further tension as the hard of his eased eased over to the surrounding living room where the both of you had spent countless morinings waking up to the mehclonic but ulitaltye hopeful, impactful rich ease into another day of the business of the city but of the eternal genetleness and quiet of your bodies agasint one another as your hand had leaned against the middle part of his back under his white rob that smelled of love making and thighs eased against thighs adn arms over his chest, emotional justice and of everyhting coming into cvlaorty and place as it did whenever someone was on your side just as you were for one another.

Your head turned down and yo breathed in. Bojack's pain was the kind that was impactful in his compact and surrrela prescnce of the amount of pain it hedl, but also of insight and adventure of someone who has never lost the zest for him to live his life, no matter what kind of weighted compact might have followed.

"Let's go start the game." Your fingertips threaded against his palms and Bojack's troubled, naturally dignified eyes that held a certain hue to them of a particular soft humanity of grounding that had taken you away in the essence of it from the start that had caused you to keep yourself so deeply embedded into him in that emotional story that only his speififc story and narrative held. Soft and toruebeld, grounded and melhcolic and at ease with itself in a way that had bene trouebeled but had ultiamltey been waiting for something to ease the troubled tousleed storm make from what was meant to be a gentle profound narrative of heart lost in the fog of what had chipepd away adn and made up his life previously; the speficiec tone of how he carrid himself emotionally being an essence of something that had been on the morinings that were currtnely laid into the thrown and clattered beers and carless voices that threaded into the air of superfiicla people who had adjusted accordingly to keep themselves away from the profound pain of what they would miss and would rather die form without had they known to the full extne tof what it was the way that you were no aware of.

Bojack's eyes turned as he watched you, still with that depthful grac ein his eyes that although were lonely to take in with their full depth, there was enough of the compelling magic in it for you to see of something that defined definition and even more so the accbessibly towards most, more rare than riches or of anything any suffering man baosted of, as he turned to you with ears lowered.

"Now?"

"It's already midnight." You indicated your head over to the kitchen clock, just barley seen through two shrimps that were threading their large eyes and even more supple lips against one another as hips swayed against each other's bodies. "If we wait too long you'll neeve rknow how great of an idea this could have been."

"But what if I screw up? What if something happens that revreses everything-" His fingertips scratched frncctially against his neck, the handsome guise in his eyes threading in his eyes as the bags of his eys lowered down, somehow making him look even more royally handsome with the lugths of the party and the pool relfecitng on his expression more than you could have ever known was possible. "in general. Our marriage, all the good that's happened lately?"

"What would that look like?" You stepepd forward, your hands threading onto his wrists, feeling the chubby extent of his wrists ease onto your own.

His eyes flicked into conflict as the msucles on his face furrowed in tense conflict.

"I'll be an ass. I'll drink too much. I'll say somehting that will go too far because I get too drunk or I touch the wrong person the wrong way-that maybe I'll tocub anyone other than you in general. Not because I want to, of course not, but because its out of habit-unhappiness is out of habit." He paused as his eyes winced while his teeth poked in that timid and apologteci way , his eyes threade into deep conflict. Your hands eased forward as tye eased onto his own palms, threading as your hands and fingertips threaded and eased onto his in a career. His trouebeld eyes and pout on his lip turned up to you as the deepened emotion increased, eyes threaded into question as he watched you in that mold that made up the most compelling emotion that had ever made you feel.

"Anytime I ever felt like I wouldn't love you if things got too far, every time I felt like ther might have been a low too deep adn I wondered if it would make me snap in some inhrient human way, I realzied that when that low was actually reached, that the last thing I ever wanted to do was leave you. Your low is where I am, and I only love you deeper for it, I only want to be ther,e be your wif,e take care of you more all the more for it."

Bojack's eyebrows quirked into a movement as his conflicted eyes increased while he gazed at you in trouebeld question. "Why?"

"Because loving you is real. Even the pain is the est thing I'll ever come to know or expereince-eveyrhting about you is my entrance into huamnity." You turned your eyes down, Bojack's own quesitong trouebed ones following you as you continued to keep your hands cralded against his, fingertips easing against his palm while you threaded them in circles. "That's my won entrance to selfishness when it comes to loving you; the addicting breathtaking air that lfiesytle, the way that I personally get so much out of love you in whatever way that comes." You took his hand and raised them to your lips, pressing your intimacy against the msucles on his knuckles as you felt the warmth of his hand and the vague trembling of the film of swea ton his sskin.

"No." Bojack's voice was impossibly somber as his conflicted eyes turne down, and the romanticism in his voice was deepend into a thread of romanticism and emotional depth that made it seem almsot imposisble how he was lumped as one of the more superficial from the outside dancers. "That's not what I meant by selfish."

You paused as your wet eyes stayed focused on how your fingertips eased onto the chubbiness of his ahdn, your eyes distant as you coasndiered the philsophiles of the evr changing and unprdcitable nuance and tide of Bojack.

"How did you mean it, then?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I want to understand you, follow you in your every view and interpretation of how you see things." Yoru eeys turend up as you met the reflective and naturally apologetic exhaustion of Boajck's eyes as the whtie of his eyes were reflected against the blue lights, making the already compelling depth of his expression eased furher through the blue illumination of the lights.

Bojack's eyes flickered down for a moment, and with a wince of his eyes did he turn his way back up to the crowd, ears splayed out slightly in the form of what was his cycniccal but ultiamltey admirable observation of others and his want of being separate from it. His eyes winced as his expression threaded and gudieid up and over the crowd.

"Do you really believe what the woman said? Did it even make sense to you?"

He was speaking in a tone that was low and inheirntly reflected in its somber reflection. His eyes turned down as he looked at you with the ease of his concern. Your eyes flicked as you looked between his, Bojack trying to convert the bravery you knew was so challenging for him.

"I only know that the way I feel about you is ulike anything I could ever expect or explain, even from myself. I don't even feel how deeply I love you is of any credit to me, and I know you feel the same way. The world has looked different since I discovered you., and its almost too emotionally compact more than I know how to deal with. You are life to me, you are my life, and if there's anyone out there that for whatever reason suddenly feels like they've invited themselves into the profound bubble of what feels like a person revelation of what i disoevred ion you, the humanity, the constant stimulation and of the indeniability of how things feel sogood for a reason because it leds further rto our purpose, then I wound't take it as anything other than a sign that I feel less insane for feeling liek I disveord a new worldof dressin up of seeing things oley because of discovering you and how much I love you. I wouldn't blame anyone for finding themselves curious and wanting to be apart and to come into it-if i was even remotely close it, I would. I know I would. You feel like good and humanity and the compact emotions that make up life that are a lot of times are far from good-but life isn't about feeling good, its about feeling humans and alive and folloiwg truth, and you are my truth."

Bojack's eyes were unreadable as they threadedb between yours. His pupils turned down to where his hands were being craldled onto yours, andd the only sign there was that you had pierced through the impretriable wall of his spcfifc suffering as all carried was with a slight treamor of his eyebrows. A new slight movement came over the overwhelming exapsne of his expression as he wince,d turning his eyes downward.

"She seemed….crazy. Like she had seen all of humanity and the truth of it for what it is. Like she could never go back now that she had felt what was rela and true and human-like she was too aware now of how tragic settling and not relaly ever feeling or being alive was and could never find her peace with how..soulless everytjing was. Eveyrone. Even I felt overwhelmed by how she was, and she said she gave up everything she did because of us."

Your lip raised into a bitter sentiemnt as your eyes met his own, meeting it at the same level of where he was, as you alays did for one another.

"It would eb easier to write her off as a wackjob than to have to believe anything she says, wouldn't it?"

There was a soft flash of pain in Bojack's eyes at the words, his eyes squinted as his ears lowered downward and away from your vulnerability for an ease of a moment. There was a pattern that Bojack had been seen as the closest thing to a punoishment he got from loving you and being loved by you. There was a pain to being known and Bojack knew that, as did you, but with a caress of a thread of your thumb against his hand was he rmeinded of the cirucmatnce sof the sentiment of what you ahd meant by things being real and the bittersweetness that came from the compact truth of inner human life and of what reflected it. His eyes turend back up a she met your expression.

"What she said about people here being a soulless parasite-"

"I think she just said they were of a lower playing field more than anything else."

Bojack's eyes eased down, somber. "Right. But what she meant about the people being here being somehwher eels,e having acces to somethingt that was-" His eyes flciekd up as he gave a shrug. "Lower." His eyes swuinted as he met yours. "Do you believe that part?"

"Ey, it's Bojack! Leas tit looks like 'm. Him and his little weeabow girlfriend he's carrying around with 'im from time to time." A man, pale and sickly as he stumbled over his feet and tripped past the counters, snapped his head over his shoulder as he waved his hand with a stumbling wave over to where he was looking at Bojack, his other sickly arm raised lazily over to where it seemed his arm was at an attempt of a slump towards nothignienss beside him, though the way his arm was slung he ceritnley seemed to believe he was holding onto something. Bojack's somber relfeciton that seemed endles in its rich narrative to you trnasforme dinto a nervous wince as his teeth crammed together while his timidn eyes squinted up, ears lowered back as his eeys flicked over to where he saw the living room of the party. "Why's don't you come out where with aya girl and we can have a great time smashing together outside with our bodies and the like? Can't have a fun night just staying down there's in the bathroom all bored and lonely by yourself, can ya?"

Bojack's eyes dimmed as h lowered them back ot your eyes, the tension of muscles on his face paralzed asd he turned his hardened but questioning eyes to you. Your lip raised up as it met your expression as you gave him a nod, your fingertip easing onto his hand as your eyes threaded between his in the sentiment of following him with whatever sickly conflcitoon he carried.

"There's been a lott to take in." Your hands threaded onto his qirst and Bojack's eys wiended as he felt the squeeze of your hand on his wrist. He winced in his timid fashion as he turned his head upward with an ease down of his ears and his air turned into that helpless unknowing, and your protection anf the desire you had to love on him in every which way increased, simple in the richest and most rewarding human fashion as your fingertips guideded on his skin. "Let's go outside and enjoy what we made for a little while. You came up with this idea for a reason, and we deserve to give it to each other."

Bojack's eyes dimmed as he met yours, but the softest ectnesion of what seemed like a boyish smile traced on his lips as it raied up. He gave a slight nod as his eyes met onto yours, mane waving out into a disarray, bags under his eys and the cut sof threads of them already sugegsting a heavy night in mind and ltuerlaly the same; but there was a sofntess to the natural compelling grace he carried as he always did as he gave a small nod, the white of his glimmered eyes easing to meet yours and putting his trus,t frahile in his ownw ay despite the narrative that dressed him, outting it ino the component of what you were mad eof to carry it.

"Ok. As loong as you're sure that you'll carry it for the both of us-protecting ourselves bring around people like that, anyway."

"It'll be easy as long as we're focus don on another." Your fingertips were caressign against his palm as you started tii make your way out, and Bjack's eyes flicked into curiosorty but unceritna conflciton, but ulaitmely acceptance, as he began to follow you outside and into the expanse of the party crowd again, the il;lumnation of the woman and the fortelling hue of the conversation starting to falla wya. There was a slight tug from bojack on your wrist as his fingertips eased on your hand and you turned, and Bojack's snout was cramped into further worry as he watcehd you.

"Can we talk, though? In the morning about everything that happened tonight? With the woman. As long as she dosen't drink herslef to deaht with whatever narrative that she's following tonight and dosen't make some deranged impulsive act on it." Bojack's eyes turned up to the part, and he lifted up his expression into a vauge but nervous flash of his teeth as he rasied up hishand to offer some of the yelling drunk men outside with a have of his fingertips, easing into a slight ease of his breath and into the timid play of his eyes. You turned as your kept your fingertips threaded onto his wrists as you squeezed the chubbines of his hand into your embrace.

"Let's focus on the night for what it is."

"Right." Bojack's tone was low, rasped, exhausted and was showing his clear exapsertion for what was waiting in front of him with the rest of the crowd and the uncaring party of the happily contrived brainless uncaring and centered people that sat up and around in the heavy fog of the party, as easy and quick to toss anything or anyone aside for the sake of the superfiiial vacant comfort of a few seconds of ease at best while they continued to keep themsleves in their preferred comfort of their lack of care of anything that occurred around them.

You heard Bojack give a rasped breath of his own antipciaiton but he contuiend to follow you, tripping over himself as he shoved his way past the door. You turned your ehad up to the crowd that was, admittley, tiring in a certain sense just to take in; people were beyond anything that was even of remote comprehension at this point as their bodies and airs were now fully threade ditno the uncaring of the fog that surrruned them both inward and out, and as content to be the easily dismiccive states of the average personality and the contmenet of it as much as anyone had ever been. It dawned on you in that moment that isolation was about more than just the literal aspect of it, but the detriment of being entirely disconnected of people who surrounded you served to be just as wearing and just as eating away at any balance of clairty or happiness.

"Hey." Bojack's vocie was guided and somber, and the muscles on your face trembeeld as you were reminded of the voice that made you feel at home for at least time time that it was memroized and focused on you, a breka away from the fog and the broken up detahcment of the rest of what mad eup the activities and attempt of siclineess that made up human life, and the knowing subcinious awareness of the fakery and insigiofigent of it that followed. But Bojack brought you into a certqian prescence that had a specifieci hue to it and was niche and real and true, that as dressed up and made sense to you specifically as it came toy you and made snes eot you, and you felt your own cantonment wash over you as you turned, your lip raised up as you eyes guidied into an edged exhausted fruttsartiton, but there ws an agreement to where Bojacl's expression was tensed in his own lsot edged and authentic humanity, and you shievred as you felt his own hands, trembling slightly as the way it was with him, eased onto your wrists and eased you forward.

"Let's just stay by each other tonight, ok?" Bojack's voice tremaored espite the slight ease of his tone that was airways there that spoke of a remarkable thread of ease of his voice as he spoke his words gently. His eyes flcikered as he watched overr yours in that guise of intiamcty and want that was in his tone as he threeaded his fingertips onto your wrists. "I don't want either of us to have to discover or worry about anything other than what happens tonight. I know that these paritites are just full of people coming here to distract themsleves and try ot shrug off whatever bullshit that their loves consist of and trying to make themslves fel imporatntby shoving and dismisisng other people and dragging people down with them. Believe me, if the corny and meainglless and brianless converrsations I've had to witness ebfore didn't do it in for me, then that observation would. But it dosne't meant that we have to play into it. I don't want to. Not tonight."

You ased yourself over to Bojack further. His head was tilted downward and there was the softness in his eeys that reflected against the light; there was a soulful in a way that was great and considered as such in the wya that you could feel the unique extent of just how soulful it truly was in a way that naturally stuck out front he masses in an especially notable way. The edges of your face guided against his snout as he lowered his head downward as it titled with the curve of his snout threading onto the curves of your face while your hands met onto his palms, fingertips threading against his skin.

"If nothing else, the fog goes away when I'm with you. The fog of disconnect that surrounds me with almost every other person in existence."

Bojack laughed a slight edge and jaded exhaust to the tone as his own alcohol laden breath eased agaisnt your face, but you felt a comfort in the way it lathered against your face and rmeidned you of the specific clumsy timeliness that Bojakc held in all of its remarkable aristtry of his clumsya dn well wrought softness of a life, niche in a way that seemed as if it had been painted and contrived speciflaly in a way tha had drawn you into it; and Bojack could feel the richness of his own life and story far more bright for the way you were lead to it.

"It's like you said, right?" Your lips eased against the edge of his snout as Bojack's squuinted and conflicted eyes eased back up to your expression again, lowered into his timid odd innocence that never left, no amtetr what amount of cynicism of quesistonability of deniability he possessed in him or experiences he saw in others or felt in himself that would have gaunrtted everything away except for that. "If something feels good then at least you can just stay by what makes sense and let the rest of the inevitability of time work itself out. Following our natures is the best thing we can ever do."

The muscles on Boajck's face tensed as his conlgicted eyes eased and emt into your own, as refreshing in its authentic and unique personal grounding the way that so many people lost by allowing other stimulants to do to talk for them.

"I'm pretty sure that's something that we've both said between one another at this point."

Your lips eased against the edge of his snout as he eased his head down and against your lips.

"I know that it's easy to feel small tonight."

"Not small. Annoyed. Bored. Empty and disocnnet from whatever fun this sis uppoed to be. It was when I was seventeen and just as uncaring about questioning what the point of aunty of this was. Not that I was ver crazy about his culture or the way it ever felt to begin with."

"That would't surprise me."

Bojack's ears splayed to the side as his eyes eased up while he watched you. "No?"

"You've always bene icnreidbly emotionally intelligent. More than I ever would have thought I would have been lucky enough to either find or to be loved by in a person. I'm sure you had it all yoru lfie, and no one, inccluding yourself, gave yourself the permission to take that for what it meant." Your handa eased onto the back of his neck, and as you puleld him inward and further to your body. There was an allure to the way that your body threaded and twsited agaisnt his body, and Bojakc rasped a chuckle as his feet stepped and tripped onto yours as he was puleld inward to your hands that sat and eased against his neck was puyulling him in. His feet tripped onto yours as his head turned forward, his rasp coming across as threaded and rasped in his own gritted druken pleasure as it was with his more at ease disposition as he tripepd over himself to guide by your body. His hands were caressed against your hips while they rested there on your torso, and as you puleld him in with his snotu resting against your face into a specific tenderness meant for the both of you that was strong enough to carry you throughout the foggy laden edged of the night that was as challenging in its indifference as mucha s ever, the both of you began to find your rhythm with each other again. Your hands found their way to where his shirt was now dappled agaisnt his shirt that was easing agaisnt his chest, your hands guiding against his skin as his own puffy and drunken but uleitmaly soulful and drawing eased ease dupt you in their vague amsument that made up his own perosnality that could so easily get clouded with his excitment of his natural and simplsityci childfulness.

"Whoa, there we go, BJ!" One man drunkenly called out as his voice peirced into the air, his toen threading out as it ripped through the crowd. Bojack's head titled over to where there was a throng og the thick wall of people easing behind the living room, their bodies eassed agaisnt one another in a wall of compacy bodies, all of them looking nothing ashamed of their increased excitment of amusement as several of them rushed their hands to their phones and raised up their contuiend excitment for gossip while they directed their devices to where Bojack's eyes eased up to look between them. You could feel his eart quicken, aslong with the shaken somber rasp of his breath. Your mouth made its way to his ear that was tinted from the neon light and edged against his face and the feautres of his ears that were lwoered in their ashamed and exhausted sickly nature of the people in frotn of him. Your lip rasied onto the edge of his ear, turning your mouth upward as you puleld Bojack closer to your body.

"Just find your center. Remember to focus on the details of being real and alive in yoru huamn experience and authenctity. That's where the essen ce of human experience lies and where it grows. That's how I was able to lvoe and find you."

Bojack's cheek threaded and eased onto your face, the curve of it in the bloated mold of how time had worn him staring to ease intoa welcome ease of a welcome agaisnt your lip as it rested agaisnt his skin.

"Come on, BJ! Show us what you wanted to do tonight. Show us what you're capable of tonight. The real raw, good stuff!"

The drunken shouts were metby the woman who were durken in their laughter as their encourgement as thier bodies tiwsted back, their eyes still glittered in amusement. Their amusmenet was threading into the gluten of their eyes and you felt how Bojakc tensed in both his disgust and abrasive wall against the rest of the people that were now turning he majority oif their aimless amusement to the both of you. Bojack eased his snout against your shoulder and you felt your body press back against the floor as you felt the inevtibality of the truths of existence and the reminders of everyone and of everything that surrounded you that was the constant ttemiidenr og that at any age. Your head turned up as you felt Bojack's body eased further into you, party from the desire to hid,e but you knew it was his own heavy weight of a way of begging you to turn into him, to ease away the heaviness of what made up those truths that he ahd had jamemd into him at too young of an age. You breathed in as your hands begant o thread away from where they were firmly gripped into Bojack's mane, slowly down to his shoulders as your palms threaded agsisnt his shoulders and onto his skin. Your hands threaded onto his amrs as it threaded otno his hips, and Bojakc let out his own softened brath while he eased his snout further inot the side of your neck. You turned your ehad up to the ceiling a syou watcehd the thread of the reflection of the blue lights ease against both of yoru bdoies and the intiamcty of the way the curve of Bojack's stomach eased onto yoru hips that pressed onto the curves of your own hips. The chatteirng and the trashy enocurgamenet ocntuiend, enough tot he point where it was extendding over to the both of you and starting to sweep in through yoru air and mood that had been so cutting edge and away from everything else into tis eternal solitude a moment before.

"Why don;t the both of you come over here, make sure that we can see every detail?"

There was a edge o a trashy encourgemtnt hat was coming from the druken voices that were at ease in their own superficial disasocaiton and thier increased sickliness of amusment. You could feel how Bojack's expression was becoming tense as he turned his eyes up and felt the slight flare that was in his eyes as the muscles on his face tensed. Your head turned as your cheek eased onto the side of Bojack's own as you trieid to allow your hands to find the place on his hip to keep him grounded, the other guiding onto his back as the way you held him wasn't unlike a cradling between the both of one antoher.

"I think they want a show." Bojack's voice eas eased out as it threaded onto your shoulder into an exhausted breath. "I guess we have to in order to make sure they don't make their lakc of satisfaction a reason for them to try to sue me over this night later any more than they already have,"

"Just focus on me. The pinpoint of me what why you wanted or were inspired to do this from the start." Bojack chuckled as he snout eased onto the side of your shoulder, threading his snout downward a sears lowered back while his chubby arms kept firmly on your emrbece. You pause a syou oepend your lips to speak something, then closed them again as you felt your lips tremble as your mouth pressed onto the brawny curve of his shoulder.

"Best thing a drunk can do is try to follow the advice of soemone who handles their liquor even less good than he does. You can't try to be happy, but you can at least make sure that you at least have an idea of what the target looks like."

You tried to speak a word of advice, but felt your burning or the motivation for you to do so begin to falter. You found that he was in a place where you just wanted to be able to guide him through the incecaant complexity of his emotions. Bojack eased his body further onto yours as you felt the weight of his body ease onto your own, and your elt the autenctity of his defeat; and for you, your own exhsution of keeping that baalnce of the thread between the both of you despite the exhsution of the distractions that were always surrounding you that were a standing of everything else that could have ever existed between your bodies. You felt yourself give a breath of laughter as you felt the heaviness of his body ease further onto the curves of your own as he stepepd backward clumsy with you. You were guduing both of your bodies over to the wall of the crowd and the exnteiton of their own sueprifical and amdenign mcokery, but at least you were both easing inot the strnegth you were giving one antoher, andf although there was no inhrient answer either in the love you have one another or in the chaos of other people, it wa a matter of trying to navaoigte it with what felt good for the sake of trying to survive the extensionphilsiophgy that had no genuine extne tof an answer no matter what bold soul put a mark on it.

"There they are! The man of the hours!" A man slourred, stout body stood upright witha tie threading onto his chubby neck as he watch the both of you start to get lost amongst the crowd that surrounded the both of you now. Whatevr previous specific niche of art of what occurred when the both of you were bonded against one another had occurred previously was now falling back as your bodies easd into the extent of the sea of the crowd. You turned your ehad up as you felt yourself succommb to a wave of anxiety and exhust, and then had it fall away again as you felt the rasp of Bojack's own troeuebld breath against the curve of your neck. You turned your head doenwars and against the almost regal feeling of his ears and the top of his ease eased against the side of your palm as you pulled him inward against the ease of your hand.

"If you don't want to do this, we don't have to. We don't have to prove anything. You don't have to prove anything. We exist just as we are anyway, and even though it might not make snes eor seem like there's aunty worth to it to the rest of the world, I've seen the world, and I don't think there's any real mourningor grief to not be cosndiered a aprt of it."

Bojack eased his head up from where it had beenr ested on your shoulde.r Though there was a sotness of a humble huamnity to the way he wavered a she stood up from your body with his eyes glazed and distant, and giving him a jaded and aged and oddly intiiaming drunk intimation, there was an allure of an attempt of striking prescence i hsi eyes. Just as it was when you ahd met him, depsit ehte fact that meeting soemone and in many ways, falling in love behind something that was far from anything unusual or remarkable, he felt as if there was something about his presence that held a hidden secret in it made for you to find that had specifically been broken out by the presece of the odds of you finding oen another to do something that was beyond life or the knowledge of it.

"No. Forget them." His body waved in his sout stumble, his arms dispapering under the messy way the clothes on his shoulder were startingt o fall with a messy ease of his lack of care. His eeys threaded up as he sharply turned his eys to the crowd. "You guys what something you cna talk about and feel cool about?"

A chuckle came from the crowd. "About time the cocky attitude made its way out tonight. I was tarting to think we had arrived to the wrong guys' party! You've never been the kind of man to try and defy things, Bojack, or the kind to have a party anf to enjoy it, but you've always had that crazy impulsivity to you, and you seem like the kinda giuy that would let his emotions control him at the end of the day. Just like you do with all these women here who have run out of sotities of the amount of times you've slept with 'em!"

A loud gruff, satisfied voice, and severla other chhuckles that came from the woman and people that threaded in their amsuemnt through the crowd. Bojack lifted up his eyerbows quizzily and in a cocky manner as his teeth jamemd up into that challenging and cocky expression, at odds with the fragiltiy of the black bags under his eyes as he swayed.

"Yeah?" There was a gentleness in his toen at conflcit with the attempt of his abrasive cockineess and the leadership feeling of it was he was trying to follow. He waved his hand lazily and sloppily over to the other side of where there were sevrla woman sitting by the back of the wall, talking diswuiernlty between one anotether and they played back and forth with the radio that was meant to blast the music.

"Hey, ladies. Why don;t you give me something to push myself onto my wife? Try something with a extra bit of spaz to it. Keep something interesting and on beat instead of eharing losers spit out whateve rgosip they can for the night. God knwos you all god plenty and I know the ebst thing you'v gotten out of it is sending texts to other people about that crappy photo that you got thinking it;ll somehwo get you viral."

"There is is. There's a Bojakc that we know." One of the woman spoke her statemtn with a detache and amusmed flirt as she turned her head to the radio. She kneeld her body downward, clearly amused by the antics of Bojack as they threaded through cocky lips. There was a slight face in Bojack's eyes at her statement, but for the most part did he seem like he was enjoying the play off of the audience and the people surrounding him. His eyes turned back to you, and the quirk of his threaded eyebrows that had previously been twisted into cockiness were somewhere between that bridge of still being so while now also having a thread of that incessant sot gentleness to his expression that spoke of an especially gentle, almsot fatherly kindof ehart. His palms reached out to thread onto your palms and your fingertips met his own as you allowed your hands to guide up onto his palms.

"Make sure you get the photos to be nice and spicy, BJ! I wanna make sure I haven plenty of photos I can send over to all my other people overnight. Just like you said."

There was an agreement of cheap laughter between the people. It was enough to make Bojack let out a nernvous and awkward laugh as his teeth flashed with the side expanse of his emotional eyes eased up and over to the crowd. His expression smoothed otu as he turned his head back down to your hands, ears threaded downwards as he tried to recenter his somber eyes over to you, though as his lip raised up while his eyes met your own and hands eased against your wriss, there was already a peace that was always shared betwen you, as it always was, that was irrelevant to anything that made up existence, whether for one another or otheriwsl; the most goruned and only worthwhile feeling.

"Do you want to be the first to turn this into an undiginged feast, or should i?" His voice was pointed in hsi question. There was an inherent understanding of a tragic and saddned sense between the both of you that you were hyper specific as individuals to the point where although you felt true and live with oen another in a way that wa enough and beyond, it was inevitable you would both be swallowed by the expanse of what made up the overall coplcaitons and overwhelming nature of existence and its business never made to care for another. But you saw one another and you were with each other, and that wa denough for you to find the faith to ease your body forward into something that was beyodnttrahsy show for the people that ssuroudned the both og you. Bojack's syes widend as his ears lowered as his eyes gdudied onto your fingertips, his eyes expanded onto your fingertips as he felt the way your hips met up against he soft curve of his stomtatch. His head titled to the side in a slight jaded warning, though for the msot part was it clear that he was cleary with you and yours.

"Just to be clear, we want to make sure that none of these people are too satiifcted. If you give them too much they'l use it to compensate ay lack of pride they've ever given themselves with anything they've done on their own without riding onto the entertainment and stuimualtiona dn validation people like me give them." He raise a brawny fingertip, the execution o the childishness to his movement meeting in an odd contradiction of the wear and old worn eased of his features as he swayed and watched you with his eyelids heavily worn down into his still messy but handsome and oddly dressed for intimating expression. "Remmebr, the point is the entertainment so these assbackwards people will leave us alone, not so that people will have so many details that this overcomes the guys-" He paused for a moment as his eyes treamored while his pupils dilated in uncerinity for a moment as his expression eased into a tension while he watched you, and then gave an ease of a shrug. "He deserves to be remembered tonight, at least."

Your lips curved up into a gentle grin a syou met against Bojack's own durken and aimless expression, though there was a centeed dignity there that was profound as your fingertips eased agaiasnt his palm in gentleness. You turned your head down as you reached out as eased your lips onto his palm. There wwa sa gentle mumuer that came from his moutha s he watches you, and it was at ease and gentle enough that it seemd to speak as if it were a certain odd pemrision. Your eyes turned up as the wamrht of them emt against Bojack's, contrived intoa certain tender expression that was far from convtionally attracigve, but the wya it was amde speficlaly seemd the extension of somehting you were quite literally made to love.

"C'mon, on with the action, man!" One woman called out with her voice thrileld up into an impatience demna,d Had it not bene for the desire ebtweent he oth of you and the demanding pull of it, it would have been asotudnly annoying for the both of you; as it was, the encourgement was a pure and as wanted as much as anything that could have ever existed.

"Well, let's get on it with." Bojakc grutned as he ulled you in, and even as his worn and hevay eyeldias threaded over durken eyes, the smile and contentment on his features spoke of someone who waas far from the defield version of what wpould have made up a perfcelt wise man, but the opinion of what mad eup humanoid ywas the reflection of the ironic defeat of humanity; the fcat that the way humans saw lfie and excited was the sole opposite of the point of what made up the wayward feelings and concepts of inevtibel existence and of other people and the making up of the patterns of what made up the truth of it over time.

"Got to put on a show." Boajck's vocie was rasped with a gritty edginess but he reache dout his ahnda as they began to pelaudre themselves otno your body. You felt the way your body curved back a syou felt his chubby palms begin to invite themsleves against your skin as they eased into your pants. There was a break of relief inside of you as there always wa switch his presence, ands your neck snapped back as your mouthb oepend a syou elt handas that were the perfect combination between tender and timid, while at the same time experienced enough to at least have the egenrla idea of what the average woman wanted of who he ahd superficially pleasured with over a period of time. Your body shievred as it twisted against his palm as your handas gripped otno his fabric, and there was the working of the memroiations of bodies and of your aairs alike that you were both still having the joy of being allowed to discover and follow.

"Ey, make sure we all get good nice front sets at all this shit, huh?" One of the druken and lazy vocies eased out intoa demand. An annoeyd neigh, more so than sigh, took over Bojack as you felt his snout ease up from where his cheek was threaded on your skin. "You don't have enough talent to make anyone pay too much attention to you without it being embarrassing, so make sure you at least have the entertainment part down to make sure you got someone lsitneign to ya! Stil a leverage above most."

"Hey, where do I know you from again?"

There was a mocking chlalanege to Bojack's voice that he managed to sound soothing if only fromt eh inhrient somber feeling from his tone, a hoenyred sense ot it despite having more liquor than any spewing out griitted drunk around him. But still, you felt the emotional challeneg and the answer.

"Just focus on me. They'll be doing this all night."

"Like hell they will. They've been doing to my entire career."

You breathed in deep as you allowed your body to thread against his neck, and Bojack breathed in deep while he eased his cheek against your neck. Your fingertips threaded into his mane as you intensely gripped on his hair. You felt Bojack's hands begin to ease against your hips as his chubby palms caressed against your body with his snout turned doen and eased onto the curve of your neck.

"Don't worry about that."

Bojack breathed in, and there was something between a laughter and a nervous reflection of a breath as his snout eased against the side of the curves of your face.

"How? Why?"

"You've done that enough." Your hand threaded down onto the back of his body as you felt his whiskey laden breath ease onto the curve of your shoulder.

"The funny thing about the reason why someone keeps doing something over and over is usually because they had some pattern that they felt they had to keep reintrofucing themselves to over and over again. Not exactly something I would define as a choice."

"It's always been a choice, and I want you to try tnad see just how flexible of a choice it is." You felt Bojack's breath ease through his nose as his snout threaded onto your shoulders, the weight of his body easing against the curves of your body as it swayed against the curves of his stomach. "Just because you kept choosing certain ones dosen't mean you have to keep doing the same thing."

"Is it that easy?" There was a tenderness of teasing to his tone as he turned his head to the side of your cheek, his lips curved up into a charismatic gentleness as his snout eased against the side of your cheek.

"When I first met you I was introduced to a certain feeling that swept through me just to feel it. It was hope, but it wasn't one dimensional or full of false promises or something that felt as flimsy as most people's both cycnaism and hope the same. It had a depth of humanity to it, deep and true and with a profound emotional compact feeling to it that promsied something deep that I didn't even know excited or could exist. It's a feeling that only exists with the life that I have with you."

"Ok." There was a guide of uncertainty to where he spoke as his tone ease against the side of your cheek, his lips eased against the edge oif your skin. There was a trembling to the way that he spoke, as it was with someone like Bojakc that believed he could never carry anything that was precious without breaking it to some large degree. You tried to repel against his narrative as your hand scointuiend to thread on bhis body, your palms threading against his skin that was laden in sweat and the film of his own conflicted and chaotic mind that had always been full of a certain space of promise that he would never be loved or ever had been; his exiwstence had been introduced and had been nothing but overlooked and throttled by superficial passing judgement, and then had gone, and veryhting you did against the trembkling of his chubby body and uncertain inseuciuity and the way this narrative dressed everythiung he said and did was something that called to you to try and unwove, and though there as a thick wall of challenge to it, it was the way it matched in the way he was dressed up with his plush and pathetic fearufl human air and how it met with that dynamic that drew you in with nothing but a satisfying degree that spoke you were meant for it.

"I think ou wanted to start htis task for a reason. Let's try it and see where it goes. What it looks like to try and scratch that inseuciuty and the desire to try and showcase to everyone else what you want to be true. What can be true."

"Having sex in front of a bunch of drunk strnagers is nothing somehting I would necessarily cal revolutionary. Maybe something that's more so for experiment, if even that. Or just entertainment. Nothing everything needs to be some deep dug soul crushing desperation to try and find something."

You nodded as your head kept agaisnt the curve of his neck, and Bojack breathed in deep as he let out a gentle breath of a layer of congociton against your neck.

"Sorry." A slight shrug of his shoudlers. "If you want me to try anf shut this down for a little while for the sake of tyring to pretned like this was a good idea on my part I can do the best I can to try and give you that."

Let's just focus on the back story in your head that made you want to do this to begin with."

"It was a cheap idea. Like most things are."

"Stay as you are. Just let me help you."

Bojack mumbeld something druekn and incoherent, but there was still that sharp edge of someone who was firmly conscious despite the fact that he seemd to display anything a anything but;. He was asotudnily functional. Your head turned up as your hands eased agaisnt his back while you began to step him back into the crowd, and Bojakc stumbled as he allowed his plush body to be raised by your hands as you stepped him inward into the crowd that was now becoming icnreaisnly mroe bemused by your antics.

Though it was clear that Bojack was tyring to keep hismelf hidden in a way that didn't come across as too cowardly but still allowed himself to hide, the hints of the calling out of people surorunding him asking him to raise up his head and acknowledge them was getting to him. Bojack gave a rasped grunt as he eased his head up from your shoulder, and his eyebrows threaded into a cocky raise despite the clear disasocaiton of exhaust and the emotional complciaiton of fear in his eyes as he turned his head up and offered some of the emotionally interconectedd woman a messy wave of his mane while his eyes were still threaded into the black exhust under his eyes as he flahsed a smile and raised up his hand towards the woman. Your hands kept on the back of his neck but it was clear he was feeling the ego soothing that he always craved coming from being in the crowd; a wink grace one of his drunken eyes, and it was both an adorable anf a charming andf oddly sad extension of the way he was tyring to enjoy what ws surorunding him all at once even as his feet swayed. You smiled to yourself as you pulled him in, and Bojakc only allowed dit to happen because of the disgruntled rasp that left his lip as he stumbled forward and allowed his head to chest oto your chest.

"You keep…keep having good taste in the actors you like, man. It'll get you far in those crpapy bar conversations you have."

"Hey, you invited me! Great idea. Now you just have to put on the trahsy light show for everyone to make sure it was all worth it!"

Bojack chcukled, though there was a forcedd nervousness to it. Your hands only cointuiend to ease his body agaisnt your own hips as you focused on the feeling of his own inner secretive narratierves and the journyees that he had ever been on that only he was aware of and ow seemd conjested into an entire life that you wanted to love and memroze.

"Only if I manage to forget how to not be cool. Unlikely tonight. I'm so cranked out of my skull I don';t even have the depth perception tow orry about bullshit like that anyway."

Bojack's voice was wavered as he spoke, slurred with his dirinking, and you smield as your lip curved up as you allowed, at least for yoursel,f to not be taken in or drowned out by the natural either superficial, mena spirited or the cycniams that surrounded you and took the context of most people as you instead focuxed on keeping your body jolting up and threaded against Bojack, your hands eased onto his neck as you allowed yourself the readjausted space to focus on wha brought you peace, and the mispreicievd choas of Bojack was something that most easily brought you that entrance, right align with what was that barely perceived or udnertsoof greater than anything that existed humanity that came from the core of your relationship. There was an extensive and extreme romanticism to Bojack whenever he spoke authenticlally, and you had known for the start that he was meant to be both a romantic and a husband, and the lfiesyle he had lived, mostly unwillingly, had become as awkward as it seemed on the surface for a reason.

But there was an understanding and an invitation for the both of you there to find the deepest solace as long as you wer ewilling to focus on one another and not on the melancholy of the surorundig chaos that was around you. It required focus, and considering the events of the night, you knew it was unlikely to be had; but you wanted that for him as mucha s you felt the allure of the soothing ethereal promise that, although well hidden among the chaos of the crowd and humanity as a whole, was the only core to what surroudne you or ever had.

Bojack rapeseed a breath as he eased his head onto your neck. Your hands began to ease down to his hips, and he breahted in an intense shake of his rbeath as he felt the way your hands began to roll down his hips. His head snapped over to the crowd as his face twisted into his conflicted unceroiinity as he turned his head through the weave of the crowd, and the exhaust of the coinflciton in his deepthful eyes only increased whil eh wince and turned his eys to you, mouth encased into a pout.

"It's ok. I trust your more adventurous and trying side. I want to be that for you. We don't need all this noise and everything else you've ever chased to try and feel peace. I'd think that if you allowed you to trust yourself it would be the opposite." Boajck's eyes turned down as they winced, and you could feel something heavy inside of him that came along with negative thoughts of whateve rit was that cirucmtances had molded into him over time. But the ligths of the party were dazzling as they danced across his face, the unceritnity in his expression only protruded furthe rinto that natural adorable humbly human clumsiness that made up his expression even as his eeys were twisted into an uncertain portrayal of pain.

"You do know that once we start this thing and show ourselves…off, like I thought wa sucha good diea a ferw days ago, that no one is ever going to allow us to forget this. Showing off being intimate with one another, I mean."

Boajack's voci was edged with his own uncertainty he spoke it, his voice edged with exhaust that met against the timid grace of question in his eyes. You turned your eyes down as your fingertips eased onto his hands as you squeezed them, then eased the edge of your red eyes that you could feel burning from the alcohol as well as emotion push through you. That regal romantiicms that followd Bojack's movement's and his unceirnity naturally, the femine way that he movedd his body and the uncertainty that dressed the form of him was an extension fo what seemd like your own peace and purpose, and, someone, the clairty of what made up a life and grounding that was more than just something to be clung onto by any other modern stimulants.

"You want to try and let go of some other verison of you that existed." Your hand squeezed agaisnt his palm, and Bojack's eyes widned as he turned his head downward, ears flickered back as a suprirs,e and then the twist of his uncerinity eased and twisted into his expression as his eyes snapepd up and adorbally met up and into yours. "I want to listen to all sides of yoru vocie, no matte rhwat it looks like or what it was speaking."

"Come on, dammit!" One of the woman spoke out rudely, her voice snapping out and into the crowd. Boajck's head snapepd as he gave a surprised breath, bottom eylids wincing and ading knot that impossible tenderness about him and the fragile adorability that had been mean to take you from the start. "We came ehre to see a show! The Bojack fucking show! Like you said."

Bojack's expresison was eased into his own timid fear as his head titled back, but his hands eased agaisnt your palm ad the tenderness in hsi wet eys met onto yous. In there was someone who wanted to be a lover but din't know how to be able to undo a lifetime of narratives of being anything other than what he was known and expected for, including to himself, and the ease of allowing himseelf to simply be that, even though it went against the core of his ehart and guaranteed him a lifetime of discontent with the deep soufulness of who he ahd bene meant to be, fmaialiorty and the overt draw and ease to it won above all else.

But his eyes spoke all you needed to see from his expression as he looked at you tendelry and with question, Your ahdns were alreayd starting to pull down his pants from where they sat on his hips, and although there was a slight ease of hsi eyes widneing into unceritnity as he felt the way your hand pressed onto his hips and began to pull them down to reeal the sofft plush of his stomach while meeting the curve of yourhands, there was a vauge, gradual agreement as his own modled and plush, uncertain shoulders allowed your hands to gradually ease his pants down from his hips. His pants feel down hsi stocky legs that you had spent a number of countless nights making love to and threading yourself into as the sheet compliemtned and met by both of yor bodies, his face and snout impossiby aged and worn as it had eased onto your chest while you had come toegtehr in air of people and the narrtaievs of what made up your lives the same as his trouebeld face that spoke of a lifetime of exhaust had found solace in the richness of one another and the consistent promise of it for a time.

The same stocky and branwy thighs were now adjusted as Bojack turned his head up, and there was that ease of clusmy worry in his white eyes that was mixed into an extneisve troubled ease on hsi expression as he felt your hands graze on his thighs. They ended on his feet, and your head turned up as your own edged and curious eyes eased up to Bojack. His head turend down as the heaviness on his face increased right along with the torubeld look of his eyes, but you got your body back up as your hands kept onto the curves of his plush thighs, just as clumsy and as definitive as unremarkable as much as anyone without the eyes that were made for following him and giving you both that profound sense of humanity would have thought.

"All the way, Bj, all the way!" A gruff and particularly loud and remorseless voice snapped his tone up through the air, enough that it made the muscles on Boajck's face ease downward as he turned his head over to where the voices were called out amongst the rest of the crowd, almost everyone having their own personal version of amusement and their lakc of ability or of want to change anything other than their current distraction for their own finite humor and amusement. Bojack's eyes snapped up with a hard glint as he turend his head to the man, but your hands continued to ease onto his hips, enough to the point where it was insisting enough that Bojack gave abreath as he turned his wide and worried eyes back to your own, eys protruding as he watcehd you with surprise glitning in his eys.

"I don't know if we should do this." His hand reached down and snapped onto your wrist, his stout fingertips easing onto your hand that wass tarting to lift his shirt from his body. His eyes squinted as his expression ased over your body as your head turned up, his ears lowered back as he watched you. His tone was trembled with his inseicitry along with the softneess that made up his equally insecure tone. You turned your head downward as the curve of your lips raised into a soft knowing.

"I know that your mind is secre enough that you can sometimes lost the sight of what even you were going for."

His eys turned up for a moment, slight exapserion in the movement, but for the msot part was there an inquiry. "Is it?"

"It's imposisbel for you not to come into what we both share. To not believe in it. For the both of us. It's too rich, too ethereal. We both feel and are drawn to it, it was amde for the both of us."

Bojack's tongue clciekd slightly inside his mouth as his eyes htreaded through the expnae of the crowd. His eyes turned as he looked back to you with that dry cycynism in his eyes, but there was a multiple of emotions inside his eyes that could have beem dressed as the emotional comlcioaitons that you knew the turning of his mind always consisted of.

"I don't think someone that people think of as a quick minute joke for their hackeyend conversations is someone that would be considered much of anything, much less something so spiritual and to that degree."

"I wouldn't either. But that's a part of it, isn't it? The unexpectandy of it-that's what real life is lile, and though people try to pretend they can know or predict what its like or what it will be like, no one ever really predicts or udnerstands anythignaccurnelty, especially their own nature." Your hand began to life his shirt, and the adorable clumsy fear took Bojack's eyes as his expression widened further while he felt the way his shrt was being lifted up, revealing the sofft overhang of his plush stomach easing over his hips. His eyes snapped into his own tender desperation and apology again as he turned his eyes back to the crowd, shaekin and trembling hands easing onto his shirt against as he snapped his hands onto his shirt, easing it downward against as he looked at you with a pointed fear.

"Hoeny, no." His expression was paralyzed into unknowing as he snapped his eyes to the crowd. "I know what these people are like."

"Exactly. The same way that you knew and felt me from the start in the way we were meant to feel each other."

"That was different, That was something between person and person with nothing to do with anyone else other than our bullshit. This is-" He waved his hand in front of his eyes as he closed one, a flash overtaking his air as he turned his head back and snapped his hand against the front of his eyes. The drynes sin his eyes increased as he turned them back to you. "This is asking to be embarrassed or used for whatever they can come up with next."

"No matter what we do or don't believe, we didn't find each other for nothing."

The word eased at least partly into the conflicted of denial of Bojack's expression as he turend his head down, ears lowered back. His hands began to ease away from the space between his thighs, though they found their way by intertwining against his hands while they met on his chest. There was a peace to the way you focused on him even with all the battle or the baggage of anything else that could have defined it. You felt your rest overcome you the more you stayed focus don him. Your head turned down as you allowed your hands tonfinish their task of easing agsisnt the curve of his stomtahc, until finally with a swipe of your hands did you ease it over his shoulders. Bojakc allowed it to happen, though his head titled forward a syou finshiehd swapping the shirt over his head with his ears flicked back. With a toss you threw it over to the ground,a dn Bojack's worn sick expression followd it as his eyes kept lowered downward to where the crumpled shirt was thrown onto the ground.

Bojack's eyes threaded to your expression, though his hands didn't stray from where they were trembling onto his thighs as fear overtook his expression. Some began to to mutter their own discontment as they turned to one another, as discontent with what they pricieved to be an obligated show as much as Bojakc has ever come to expect from them. Bojack's eyebrows lwoered as he tensed while the already worn of his conflicted face eased into a hard egde while he snapepd his head to the rest of the crowd, all of whom stepped back as they cointuiend to talk to one another.

"Looks like the guy has cold feet. About fucking his new wife, too. If I were her I'd hit it and a run. With the money, I mean."

"He's in a time of his life where he knows that everything isn't going to be passed easy to him anymore. I mean, not as a easy as it was. But he dosne't seem to have much of a spine, so ti dosen't surprise me that he's having this much trouble doing the one thing that he can do now without having a nsarrtaive follow that he's trying to overpower someone."

"He looks like he has maybe ten more years in him. If I were him I'd take what I got and make the msot of it-this party is the best legend he has left. If i were him i would take it all for what it was, no mamtter how crappy."

"Didn't think the guy would end up with a wife at all. He always struck me as the more troublesome type."

Though Bojack was clearly trying to keep himself assembled an away from the crowd, there were the occasional frustrated sighs and breaths that left his lips, and the tense unknowing of frustarrtion on his expression as his ears splayed. The bags under his eyes and the way time had come to shape his expression and the age of the mold of his face over a period of time were more protuded now than ever, his ahdn reaching onto the side of his snout and making him look extneisvley more trouebeld and adorable; and more than that, extneisvley worthy of protection.

"Focus on this." Your hands pressed ont the curve of the plush mold of his body and the other on his lovehandles. The natural grace that made up Bojack's expression deepened as his eyes lwoered, with an uncertain breath he eased his body forward to you. The most tender adorbaility took his fragile expression that somehow seemd grounded and impossibly conflicted all at once, but he allowed his body to be pulled into yours with ease. You felt you own peace come over you as you focuse don the rytham that came along with being with him as your hands met on his shoulders just as well.

"The only way to escape suffering is by letting go fo everything entirley and accepting that you won nothing and have nothing, to be attache dto nothing. You somehow feel like both the fulfillment of coming into and leeting go of something at the same time."

Your hips were beginning to ease into Boajck again, this time witha gentler and more forgiving thrust than that had occurred previously. Beyond and into the crowd where the people were oslting and starting to let out their threads of their own cocky encouragement and their own excitmened extensive yells of encouragement and amusmenet did it feel as if a world entirely separate from the rest of what arrounded you was starting to fall into irrelevance, a physical world of muse that separated Bojack and you from everyone else, as it had always been, a wall of noise that greeted you into the purity of one another and how Bojakc rocked against your body.

"What if I end up doing something to you-something terrible. And it gets to the point where you can only see pain in it?"

Boajck's voice was spoken as someone who was speaking from a place of deep emotional exhust and isoaltion, of someone who had had to process and develop and learn their journeys entirely on his own with little to no avail or relief from anything other than his own philosophy. The words of the crowd drowned away as you kept your fingertips massaged on his mane as your ehad turend up to the ceiling, only for a moment, before kneeling down and allowing your hands to meet against his hips while your lips kissed and threaded onto his chest. You could feel the profound exhaust of Boajck's eye and the whtie tenderness of question in them and of all the baggse and qureestion they brought, but in there was there the most compact human experience you knew was too profound to process, only experience.

"I don't think that's going to happen."

Your hips continued to thrust against the curve of his stomach. The pleasure was easing between the both of you, an though you could practically hear the ringing of Boajck's ears and the tremble of his hands onto your body right along with the curve of his tomatch and his chubby arms agaisnt yours, there was a gradual acceptance of smoothness of peace that he was startign to fall into entirely. As it was with human nature, even with someone as chaotic as Bojakc, finding peace and groudnign was a aprt of humna surivial and nature. He breatehd in deep as his white deep eased eased back while his hands awkwardly kept gripped onto your palms.

"How can you be so sure? That this won't end with you feeling so worse off-" H winced as he spoke the upcoming words, but as it was with everything, it was a matter of speaking the truth to find terms of peace with it, no matter how painful or repeittive. "-That this won't end in something you can't recover from."

Your lips paused from where they were easing on his chest. There was, admiteley, a repetievenss to how you loved each other, a echo of what you had both done before with others, most especially Bojack, who's body had become a temple for msot of impsulivness; but you bothfelt the ethereal freshness that despite the gritness of what the experiences of the world had turned on you, there was a predetemriend tragic spiritual richcness that overcame yo both that melted into both your bodies intertwining and your words melding into conversation that extended into a profound extneisve richness of impossible human compact meaning.

"The inly thing that could ever give me that expereicne at this point would be me getting a taste of whatit feels like to know you, to love you, and to have it taken away without getting a chance torelaly live that life. To only get a glimpse of your heart or of loving you and knowing you, anf to have ti snatched awya befroe I even got a chance. That would be the only thing that could ever destory me when it comes to you."

His ears were lowered, his eyes winced into an almost boyish apology, his stout hands eased onto your palms. Had there been something that was more precatioulsy precious and a mirror reflection of the endless tide of possibilities of human thought and existence and how eveyrhtign was a lead into a new prescriptive and a new ya of seeing lfie no matter hwat wa sblessed or given away, you felt as if he was the exception to the tide of always changing lfie and of human nature, and it was the blest blessing while the most curesed all at once, just as he was everything all at once.

"You say that, but the mroe this goes on, the mroe trouble is goingt o start up. I don't even know what that trouble would look like. This time ti seems like itsin the form of woman with cloudy eyes and eccntric men who arw illing to commit suicide over things I don't even understand. But it's going to get worse. I know that."

"Good." You spoke the word with confidence, the intention behind it one who spoke of lack of apology or even or any forgiveness to the blunt statement. The apology in Bojack's eyes, the natural grounding that came with a voice as deepened an groudned in humanity as much as anyone could ever be with his naturally compelling gift towards it all was your invitation to that compact experience he gave you from exisitnng to keep going, despite the fact that now the flashes were getting more tense as they blew and blidned each side of your dispsotions and your air, while they reflected agasidnt what seemd like the suggestion of suffering in Bojack's eyes that you were too weak to take in without beign affected, and too in love to not interweave and feel hat natural wamrht og a baalnce of carrying that came so naturally betwene the both of you when focused.

"Are you sure?" His vocie was drenched in sophisticated tone as his eyes eased down. "If there's anything that happens later where our characters are too different,t where you or I feel diffwerently because ofsomething we didn;t see before."

"What do you think about what the lady said tonight?" Your hips coninuted to ease against Bojack, waig in pleasures as watd a th truth fro th qustio. His eyes widend as he turend his expression down, wicked as timidness overcame his eyes while a reflection of more bleu light from the neon eaed into his eyes, compliemntine what was on the surface a mundane existence that somehow held the most compact human surreality and compelling truth to it more than you could have guessed until you were lucky enough to inteetwine with even half of his rich and tormented heart, a connection among a world deprived of it otherwis,e and making it heart wrenching when it happened in comparison to tis resilient absence.

"What do I think?" Bojack's eyes turned down as he allowed his body to be comforted by the easing of your hands on his palm, rocking him through the expanse of the crowd as he tuend his eyes down in tha compelling preceptive thought. He gave a slight shrug, and his eyes snapped over to where he heard the crowd mutteirng to one another against their own quick amusement though the content they were no doubt amusing themselves over as they contuiend to turn their eyes to one another in their easily sickly amused gossip. He shrugged as his teeth poked while his eyes threaded on your hands. "I think she had a lot to drink tonight, and she's probably one of the more stable drunks I've ever met in my life. Pretty admirable, all things considered."

Your eyes eased down into a soft light as there was an entrance of gentnless in your eys, though just as much an edge of warning to it. Bojack's eyes wincd as his ears threaded down, and he looked as if he had bene caught doing something wrong. In his especially vulnerable state in the momebt it was easy for him to feel helpless, and his timid eys snapped over through the crowd as he readjuasted his hands onto yours to allow himself to feel further that grounding humanity of softness and ease between you both as he gazed at you in question.

"What is it?" His eyes glimered in question, the gentle relfeciton of truth and desperation further buried in his eyes as he watched yours frnacially. "Is that a bad reasonable evaluation to have?"

"Do you really think that?" Your eyes threaded away from one of his palms, easing instead downward to where your palm rested on the curve of his stomach, now fully revealed over to where the rest of the crowd was still chcukling to one another as their glazed over eyes looked oveer to their phone screens. The atmosphere in and of itself was enough that it was clear how much it brought Bojack out of his comfort zone, and the thrust of his hed over his shoulder as he was drawn into the incessant loud busyiness of the uncaring crowd was only incraeasing to the odd timid apology and bottom wince of his eyes as his expression threaded over the crowd. For all the times he had ever been vulanerbale to the noise, it ahd never stoped leaving its wound or mar against his own timidn disposition.

"Never mind." Bojack's eyes widend as they threaded into an alertness as he turned and looked back to you, expression encased into an apology as the vulanribity of his expresison easd on yours. Your lip raised up into a comforting grin as you met the mirror of his torubeled heart against your eyes while you contented to allow your other hand to meet on the curve of Bojack's stomach, caressing onto the curve of it Though there was a clear look of self consciousness on Bojack's expression, a light came into his eyes the tension on his face began to smooth, eyes widned as ears lowered while he gazed at you with an uncertain warning, his expression wincing as he turned his head to where the rest of the crowd was sullen and content in their content for another day of their sickly amusement.

"I don't think there's any right answer when it comes out to being clunked out a smooch as that woman was, is all." Bojakc shurgegd as his fingertips eased away from your hand as his eyes eased downward into a defneisve thought. There were more phone flashes, and though he wicked at every one, you could tell he was putting in every effort to not. No doubt wanting to keep at least some sense of control over the chaos that was bent on destroying something as fragile anf timid as a heard and mind, especially one that had come to be as isolated as Bojack's and the wrecking of inner narratives that made that up over a period of time. His eys wre winced into an apologetic thought as he eased the question over in his mind. "I just think that it's best to assume that she wasn't in the right mind. Let's be honest, most people in this place probably aren't, so much to the point that I'm sure not even they know what that means and probably won't until tomorrow."

"Show your ass and throw it backwards, BJ!" One voice called out into an uncaring call out from his tone as his voice wobbled. Bojack's snout snapped over his shoulder as he looked over at the bouncing dance of the crowd that now seemd even more medled into the wave of its crowd and the general gudueince of everyone following the same thread of attuituide. In the middle of the lights being turned off and everyone's bodies jostling agaisnt one another in their amsument, their gleaming eyes turned up to Bojakc as they looked at him with their own personal want of flair of entertainment, Bojack settled for breathing in a sigh as he eased his eyes up.

"This isn't for them, remember."

"Funny. You'd think that it was all for them, the same wa it always has been, and the same way I always let it be because being used for five second cheap amsusment is the best thing I ever could have got."

"You don't have to think of it like they. They can, but it dosen't have to have anything to do with you."

Bojack let out something that was meant to be pesstemsisitc, but as his snout was eased into the cruve of your neck and the mold of his chubby body was eased against your arms, you felt how he was getting more pleasdured as his cock hardned by your thighs, felt the way the plush curve of his stomtach and the happy trial met on your body.

"Don't take this as some bold statement for some sudden proudly proclaimed idea that I've seen some new version of life or myself." His voice was impossibly rasped and low as he breatehd into your ear, and you shivered as your allowed your hand to ease onto his back as a gudience and a companion to the way he spoke in his one cynical, and ultimaltey sick, exhaustion. "I wouldn't even consider this if I one, wasn't too drunk to even remmebr naything except for the obvious events anyone should remember but alreayd dosen't for some odd reason, and two, the fact that you're here to help make it make at least a little sense." His cheek turned a shis lips grazed against your shoulder, and you turned your head further up against his shoulder, feeling both the pain and the heaviness of the night and what made up the narratives of Bojack of his sickly and complex humanity-and the extenent of how you would do anything to be able to read and experience where he was at, though you knew there was very little if any chance that you would ever be abelt o fully love him to the degree that would sdave either of you from pain, and yet, that was part of the entire point of it. "Ok?"

"I'll take whatever you're willing to give." You laughed as your hand begant o thread onto his lovehandles, and Bojack let out his own grunt of somehting between anticpaition and agreement as he felt your hands begin to thread into his own erect private that was now fully eased into your hand, resting under the plump curve of his stomtahc, and as the display of your intimacty and Bojack;s bare body was shown to the crowd, the chatter and the encourgement increased, the foggy intention sof something that was elusive even to the people encouraging it becoming all the power powerful and obnxinious in its enegry of its own pointless distracted mocking, especially even for themselves, but the world turned on its fmaialirty time and time again for a reason.

"Clearly you're not the only one agreeing with that statement. Bojack's eyes threaded into a squint of his puffy laden exhaust through his bags a last time as your hands squeezed and pressed on his before starting to kneel down in front of the spaces between his legs. His teeth poked out as eyes widned while he turned his head down, and a naturally apology overcame his expression again as he felt your shaken and drunken hands easing ontot he cruve of his stomatch. Several of the people surrounding the both of you began to raise out an evene more trashy and durken enocurgemnt, some even going to far to lift their shirts over thier torsos as they began to wave their shirts u in the air, flashing their breasts in front of the revolving light of the living room that looked smaller thna ever in the blue and reflected light that surroudned the space. Bojack's eyes hardend into a further disgust, but that disgust turned to a timid uncerinity as his eyes snapepd down while the bags under his eyes met his protruding white eyes as he turned his head down and saw how you were easing your lips further to his shaft now, your hands easing onto his cock that wans't the most larges tlength, and in combiantion of the plump cruve of his stomtahc that meet pover it, it was a combination of somehting that would have complemented well by most people's understandings the abrasive sudden fear on Bojack's face as his teeth clashed together and his eyes winced while he felt your palm easing onto his manhood.

"You're wonderful. Beautiful." Your own vision was beginning to blur further along with the rest of the spinning lights that ssurouned you as you eased your lips forward, your lips caressing against the curve of his stomach as eyes fluttered closed as your pressed your lips onto the curve of his stomach. Your eyes closed a the posture of your face melted agsitn his happy trial comign from his belly buttom, and you felt the tnedernees that came from Bojack's combaitnion of angeelitc air and at the same time common clumsy unceease as you hear dhim giving his impossible somber tender breath of antijcaptiona at taking in the way you were loving on him. Your eyes turned up from where they rested on his cock as your hands reached out and pressed on the curve of his plush hips, and you saw Bojakc easing his tender and imposisblly sweet eyes down to you as the muscles on his face were eased down to meet your own attempt of comfort. His eyes snapped over to the crowd, illiminuated by the neon light and the light of the party that traced their heads and their shoulders as they moved toegethr in a unison that only seemed like the extension o impossible lsoness for Bojack. He breathed in deep as he closed his eyes, and your head kept turned up as he allowed himself to raise his bidy down, plush stomach melting into a curve of his comfortable air as his timidn and qerusitonable eyes threaded between yours in his own vulenrbaility. His hands reached out to pressed onto your palm, and he snapped his hands back when you felt your hands ease with grace onto his cock as a remidner of where your hands' attention was. His eyes threaded as he watched you in question, but his eyes lowered into vulnerability as he caught your eyes glimmering in reassurance. As your hand continued to ease onto the side of his love handles and pelasured his cock. He was hardedning now, and you saw his eyes flit in panic for a moment, as if the question hin his chaotic mind if he was doing something wrong; and then a tender lowering of acceptance and a glow of light of ease in his ease as he allowed the acceptance of the itnimacty to hot.

"You call this hot sex?" One of the men's voice rasied into an ease of disapproval, and Bojack's concnetraction was tempaorly broken as he snapped his head up to where the man was continuing to rock both his phone as well as a sported beer in his hand while he contuiend to sway with the light of his foggy aimless sickly uncare in his eyes, to the detriment of his health and of that of which surrounded him. "I want some high legs and in our face action! That's what you signed up the goddamn event for, right? May as well kill ourselves if we're just gonna sit here all night and see each other do this weird jerk off in your own private secrecy! Come on!

Annoyance was flittering in Bojack's eyes further, but he breathed in deep as he felt the ay your hands and the minute humble pleasure contuiend to glide across his cock as it poekd out from under the adrobale ease of complacency of the curve of his stomach. His eyes opened upward, distant and sickly as he turned his expression up with his eyes wince din vultnibailty and want as his fingertips kept stout agaissnt his palm as he turned to looka you in want. Your only gave him an ease of a nod as you allowed him to fully fall into that practice of allowing himself to not only feel but to find confidence in what your love and your intimacy gave him. He closed his eyes as he felt the imposisbility of perspectives and human nature and of the like begin to sweep over him as the muscles on his face tensed, the wash of his focus easing up into hois body was he tried to suppress the insecurities you knew were laden in his mind, and you knew it was taking him far mroe focus than it should have, and even more the force of it that was the attempt of being able to feel being the only thing that helepd him or gave him any genuine snse of relief or purpose.

The colors of the party changed, swithcing from the blue modest dim light and instead switching over to the tide that made up the unforgvijg extended more itnens elight of red that now graced across his conflicted expression. His eys turned up andf there was an imposibility of gentlenessandf of increaded emotional vulabiltiy that, ehetehr for good or bad, had an astounding sense of vulability and of a breathtaking amount of huamnit that you would have taken for evetything of which it was and for eveything that made him who he was, whtehr good or bad; it was the compelling alive feeling he gave you and the sense thy you had been meant to love him that drew you in in a way that was of the extension of what it menat and felt like to be truly alive, and that was the most alluring anf worthwhile answer of anything.

"You don't have to-if you're not comfortable-" Bojack was trying to find any amount of insisntence to try and keep himself away from his own disocmfort. You stopepd as your sighed only slightly, your hadn easing agaisnt his own private part as you pasued with your eyes gazing at him in inquiry. His expression was twisted into a tense timind apology as his eys flciekd down. "Don't feel like you have to do this just because eone impsuliove night I thought somehow this would feel liek a good thing, is all."

His lip was pouted as he watched you with his eyes threaded into insistence, and you turned your head down as you allow your hands to continue peleaudring him whole you eased your lips forward and to the eccentric curve of his chest, threading your lips against his branwy skin as soft and as unconteionla as the black curls that made up his skin as your face eased against his chest.

"It is a little different from the ay it feels in bed, I'll admit. It's not as easy to get as lost in how incredible it feels to feel your thighs against mind, how it feels to have that privacy and delicate sentiment of one antoehr while you lie yourself on top of me and my legs love on your thighs while we fall into what we share in that warmth we give one another. Our perfect place."

"Yes, you get it." Though Bojack was clearly trying to express hismelf in a tone that was straightforward and blunt, the shaken tramor of his voice gave hismelf away. His eyes turend down as you murmured a breath of agrremnt, continuing to ease your lips onto his skin while teeth grazed against him. Though on the most superficial surface of Bojack and his supposed uwnanted reputation there seemed to be the udnerstadnign and idea that he was someone to have associated with only the most superficial of sex, with the way you had come to know him in body of mind and spirit in those nigths of lvoe making and of the lfie you were living in marriage anywya, there was something almsot woudned and quiet about Bojack, odly old fashioend in a sense and slow and romantic to the touchh, and you knew how distrasteful it was for hin to share something as sacred and as precious as one of the few things that recentered him and rought him peace, and it wasn't as if it wasn't an incredibly trashy thing he associated with the action; it had taken nights of treating the action as precious as something you shared before Bojack even began to accept the idea that he coulkd have something in it that was an exnteion of the love and bond you shared, not something that was a sickly element of it, a sign of what he had done in the past with it. His snout eased up as his eyes closed, and the curve of his lip raised up as there was almost the smallest suggestion of the wear on his exhausted features easing upward into a slight ease of grace as he felt your hans ease onto his body while the pleasure eased over him.

"Just focus on us, on those nights, the way it feels to sit down and talk every night. Getting into the sheets and the bed and looking at and only focusing on oen another. That's what important." Your voice eased into a breath against his cheek as your eeys closed while your lips found their contmenet by the branwy mold of his chubby cheeks.

"The part where we talk and I bring the cycicm and the analysis to it, or the part where we get i and decide your part of my part for rocking the other person to sleep?" His vocie was humored, gentle, and there was something in it precious enough that spoke that he did hear and agree with your words and the protrait it painted of what you gave onee another in thos gentle and sheet easedi nights of skin and soft words and of grounding between you as thighs and plump stomach and rasped words the the endless unprecitabilit yof the human mind all came into agreemntn one those cocnlsuions that were soothed and made sense of those kindof ease of nights, no matter what the next day held, and for the first time the large expanse of Bojack's window wasn't from the extensive Los Angeels lights that were a blaring mocking of everything that made up the emptiness of his life bur rather and agreement and a welcome of the mood for the night and the ease of what it would mean and bring inot the upcoming day, ebfore the bittersweet ntogaltic hint of the sunrise eased agsitn hills, an indifferent response to his suffering or of wellnesss, and for one the indifference eased into a harmony of agreement.

"Now you get it." Your lips curved onto the side of his cheek, and you felt his chubby arms eased back behind his love handles as he leaned his plush stomach back, almost as if a physical welcome to whatever you wanted to do it in whatevr way made sense to your own allure to both of your own peaces, both of which seemd to reach the same island of execution and understanding. "Focus on those details. On how much i love you, want to love you, want to learn how to."

"Ok." His voice was complacent, almost peaceful as he turned his head to your own. "But what about this wa sa good idea again?"

"Maybe how others see you. How you see yourself. When was the lat time you were seen in a light as human, or something even halfway as incredible as I know you are?"

"Well, I wouldn't say it was thought out to that degree. It was mostly a drunk and impsulive 'let's see if this works out into something not totally stupid' kind of idea.' Spoiler, it did end up being that pretty bad."

"These people could use something real anyway." You turend your head over to where the woman and men alike where threading through their conversation as they talked to one another in their ease of casualty that was exhusting jsut for you to take in, and you kew the weather feel of Bojakc for being such a prominent tool and player in a cultur ehe had never wanted to have anything to do with to begin with was only easing further into his own disgurntled cooncliton, but your hand reached out as it threaded behind the handsome splay of his black mane, and Bojack turned a sthe vulerbaility of his wide and sicily eyes and baggy alden drunken expression threaded onto yours in qureestion. Your lips rrasied into yoru contment against as you turend your body forward, easing your lips onto the thread of the bloat of his cheek as your lips pressed on the same place where you kenw he had bene the target for his one misery as well ad tohers. It was natural, at ease, and easier to lvoe on him as such than it was to not. "I think we should give it to them, and I think you were preceptive and recongizned that enough to be able to agree with him, even before I knew it. We're like that, in our ownw ay, one thread of thought following the other, and I know you feel it and find relief in it as much as I do."

Bojack breathed in deep, and his vulnaerbale eys threaded upt o yours as the expression on his pouted features threaded over into yours eyes a sthe pout on his lip increase. But a freedom came over him where previously there had only been the want and the idea for a cage that was of the making of others but that he believe in in enough that it had become a aprt of him weather he had wanted it, allowed it or had even known it or not, and as his chubby arms rested further onto the floor and his stomach protrued into his usual curve, you found there was a security there were previously there had been emptiness and inscuirty, though previously even that was the kind of conflicted pain and real beauty that took you away just from virtue of looking into it, and it was in those moemtns of seeing the light of Bojack's expression andf the life in him that you knew that he suffered in party because of that soul he carried that was rendered as either unreoncginable or wanted to others; a spiritu and an emotionally hevay one was a hard thing to carry when not met with another that recongizne dit in agreement.

"Go ahead." His lips raised up as it met the soft invitation of his eyes, his neck eased upward as he raised himself on his elbows while he invited you to turn your hips further onto his. "I'll keep the memory detials wiith me, like you said."

There was a sign of his usual tease in his words, but you enjoeyd hearing them, and you kenw it was his own cofnitmaiton that he was wife you now, and he was ready. Your hips began to ease onto his as your body threaded and guided onto his hips, your hands raising out and caressing onto the branwy mold of his shoulders as you finished his invitation that he gave you from leaning down as he breathed in deep, hiis plush back guided knot the floor behind him as your hands threaded through the plush of the end of his mane that rested between two delicate and splayed ears, his vulnerable eyes threading onto yours as he felt your palm rested agsitn the diamond white of his snout as his expression eased otno yours in the trembling of his vulnerable eeys.

"Make the moves nice and hot! Make 'em make the legs go up! Make that man's legs go up, woman!" One of the men shouted

Bojack's eyes turned down into a vaguely triggering and rock teasing as he eased his up, darting his eyes into the invisible crowd as he tried to pin point the general idea of where hte noise had come from.

"Hey, anyeon who still has thier own personal commentary can try to write it down and pass it over to whoever they're sititng next to or try to turn it into a crappy text conversation. Leave who dictates the entertainment to the professionals. Other than that you can keep to what you do ebst and keep to yoru Reddit and meme slang while we try to show something that's actually worth living for. How's that sound for commentary?"

There was some aroused sound from the crowd as their heads snapepd ans they turnd to one antoher, clelalry both aggravated and amused by Boajck's slight aggressive repsonse. One man stepped forward with a yellow glaring phoen case in hand, his toothy cracked grin easing out into a sickly twisted huymor as he turned his pone screen to the both of you. Bojack wincd his expression tensed as he snapped his hand beside his profile, letting out a slight wince of his own frustration as he did so while his expression tensed.

"Speak of Reddit, let me make sure I get some photos to farm some karam. Bojack fucking his current and only wife in frotn of a party? Can you say trying to prove something that he's clearly never going to have? You may as well have splled it out for us, dude!"

"Yes, I get you think that's incredibly revolutionary. I bet most people here would of anything that's beyond what they deem the asotudning experience of interacting with strangers on their phone sscrren." Bojack's vocie was hardened, and his head snapped over to the crowd as the man gave a slight squeal of an extensive amusement and Bojack's words. Bojack breathed in deep in his own disgurntlement as the man in yellow bounced his leg as he jumped his wya back into the crowd. Several other commenters contuiend to raise their words out, ccleallry somehow even more encorugsed rather than less frm Bojack's sburpt and clearly edged tone.

"Make his dick pop until it come off!"

"Fuck on her shit until she become rich! Get it, like you!"

You kept your hand by Bojack's cheek, and the dry of his eyes were overtaking the extensive soulfulness that had been in him only a second before as his expression eased onto your eyes again. His pupils flciekd down a she felt your hand ease on his cheek, and be breathed in shakily as he guided his body down.

"I know. Focus on this." One of his hands rested on his stomach as he turend his head down otno the floor, turning his toruebeld white eyes up as your body began to ease on his. The humor of the people this time came into a wave of a sudden loud wave of people making out their mocking 'ohs', threading through the crowd with enough force that it caused Bojack's attempt to lie down to extend into a wicne as he snapped his elbows upward from the floor. You eased your body back as you watched him with the flare in his eyes as he waved his hand with part announce and his own dismissive annoyce aa he waved his ahdn to the crowd.

"You can't seriously think this is even remotely the same thing. Or that there's anything way to make it feel like it." His eyelids lowered further as h raised a fingertip to make his point further in his own playful fashion at times. "Or that there isn't any possible way in this entire city that anyone is ever going to eb ablet o take this seriously or somehow respect me more, because if I know me, and I do, then that meand I did this because I was trying to prove something. Gain respect." His expression softened into uncerinuty as his hands tenderly rested on his palms as he turned his head over his shoulder and to the crowd. "I'm not sure if this is even close to what I cleary thought it would mean."

"Maybe it wasn't the idea of what you thought it was." Bojack's breath came out shakily as the tenderness of his eyes turned downt o your hand while you tried to guide him to ease his shoulder back down, and after a moment of conflciton, he did so, his vulnrbale eeys easing up to you as he began to life down. "But I do know one thing, and that the both of us somehow inspires one another to bring up to the truth together; that compelling, almost harrowing compact human truth. And I want sut o kep believing that whateer we do or wherever we go for the sake of one anther and to follow it, that it's for all the same reaossn that we ever came together and found one anotehr to begin with. I love you, and life hurts, and I won't dney myself whatever we try to come up with ideas with anymore as long as it made sense to us, even just once, in that profound human way that transcends all udnerstadning, even if only for a little while."

Bojack's teth clasped a shis eyes winced as he watches you with ears lwoered. "I don't think what I thought of was even close to that kind of justification."

"It was, because you thought of it, and you wanted me there. As far as I know about our love and how it takes ans touches us as a leader as much as it is our actions, there's nothing better to go by."

Bojack hald breathed, ha;d complcied as he eased his body down to the floor. He turned his head as his teeth poked while his insecure weet eyes turened to the rest of the hollowing encouragement of te people, their phones raised out and snapped over their shoulders as they continued to trip over their feet and slammed and eased against one another with their eyes lit up in pollution of their own canopy of their enteriament.

"If you think so."

There ws an open entrance to the uncerinity in Bojack's voice as his hands reached out and threaded onto your palm. Your eyes lowered and the dimmed while your lip raised up in agreement as Bojack's tremaoring eyes caressed on your own, the inseucirty in his laden ones trembling as his expression turend up to guide into your permission.

"I feel it. It's alright if you don't The way we came to feel one another was how I managed to be able to find you and how we found our voice and what made sense of us to begin with, and I want us both to continuing feeling and beleviing in that."

Boack breathed in deep as the sound left his inseciuty, but he allowed his body to be eased downward and onto the floor while your hands continued to press onto his stomach. Your hands caressed against the plush curve of his stomach as his body eased up from the floor only vaguely, his own welcome to your caress as your touch began to ease onto his stomach. The flashes continued and of course the people didn't ease from their flashes and their gossip and the threads of their chatter and their easily sickley laden amusement, but that somehow only added to the tormented determination in Bojack's eyes as his facial features lowered and his body threaded onto the ground as he continued to feel the gentle ease and caress of your hands against his skin, your own welcome into his own uncertain laden inseucirty that had led to frustariton anfd an empty life and was the extent of the caution sigh for the tremor in his eyes now.

"Your eys have all the breathtaking look of what it feels like to be young, clear headed, and innocent." Your whisper eased against Bojack's ear as your breath reflected against the slight vague twitch of his ear. He laughed, the sound rapsy and amused as he turned his own softened and melted expression to your own, eyebrows eased down into that tremor of his own impssibly soft expression that had all the welcomed tenderness of everything you had ever wanted to adore, and your escape from what would have been the unforigivng extension on the other side of your existence and the compalcnet emptiness of what would have surrounded you otherwise. "I want to feel and experience every part of you" Your hands grativated away from where they were resting on the cruve of his body, easing your hands forward and up to the mold of our shoulders as your hand rested on his body, Bojack's eyes glimmers as his lip curved up into a gentle grin. "Let me try to give you that."

The muscles on Bojack's face treamored as his teeth eased out, and there was a beauty especially to the tremor of his unceinity that eased into that softness in hsi eeys, reflected even further into the dynamic of the light that eased on his expression. There was so much truth there, but it wasn't a painful truth; instead it was one of something that was a strue as the abrasive hard edge that made up lfie not cut out for the average human psychology and the inevitbilit how of it strained a person or left that mehlchonic heaviness on it that left it reflective and behind, but Bojackk's truth was onet that made sense to the compelling and fought humanity on the other side of why people preserved; why you were preserving now, despite your own drunken eyes and the sickliness that was spilling over you from what you had seen and from wha had occurred that night, the fahs of the broken man's body as it had splayed out onto the ground, his mouth twisted and his eyes fogged over in the light of emoitness where there should have been humanity; the insanity of the spider woman's expression before she had thrusted her body overthe cliff inf a sentiment that you almost dared to believe you could have understood.

His face was becoming more beautiful to you, right along with the vulability that wahsed over his expreson as his eyes buldged out with the wrinkles heaved under his eyes, but somehow, just as you felt it, Bojack felt it in kind as he reached out his hand to ease onto the curve of your breast. Your body shivered in reponse and Bojack's hand snatched back, fingertips easing onto his palms ashe let outt he softest breath of uncceinity, vulebriality washing in his eyes as his ears flickered back while he watched you in his question.

"Look a this guy. What are you, playing crossword puzzle with your btichees' brests? Let's get on with it, already!"

Bojack's eys flew over to where the sound had been called out, but his attention being draw over to the thread of the woven out shout didn't last long; your hand reached out as it eased under his snout, and with another breath of his shaken breath he allowed his snout to be eased against your hand as his head turened back up and gazed at you. There was a rest and a magic there, and you felt it just as he did as he allowed his snout to be raised and pulled up by the career of your hand as your fingertips eased beside his snout in kind.

"They were always ireleevant. You know that. We both did." You breathed in as your body began to ease onto the plush of Bojack's, plush stomtahc easing intot he curve of yours as you kneedled your body forward and onto his. "Weariness with everything is going to happen, but you make it feel like its the type that can add meaning to it enough that its' beyond worth whatever that looks like."

"Does it?" There was genuine question in Bojack's tone, and his eyes were glimemred as he titled his head upto gaze at you, durken and worn, and somehow still full of the most impossible glinted humanity of grounding you had ever seen. His ears were splayed back and the pupils in his eyes flickered as he eased his head back and rested it onto the back of the floo,r previously full of shattered glass and of the impuslive dances of Brad as he had jammed his tongue down the throat of his own desperrate and wanted lover, his hands threading behind her head while his dessapriton had held somehting akin to both dustractiona nf grotesque desperation and want and lust while alos holding something impossibly sad, the steps of the floor ditrired by people disoocotnet and always too foggy headed until the end of their time to ever even know why they were.

"Why don't we try to see what's true and what's not, instead of just questioning it?"

"And you think this is a good idea?" The soft compelling of Bojack's voice was only threading further into the gentles of hsi question as he eased his shoulders up with a slight rasie from the floor. His eys dailted across your expression as he watched you while his features treamored. He winced as he flashed his hand up beside his profile as another voice eased out into their almost mocking extent of something that was meant to come across in the dress form of encouragement, camera flashing as it temporary traced and blidned the side of Bojack's expression. He raised up his hand and eased his embrace onto yours as his palms threaded and traced onto your skin, eyes easing in question that came along with the endless hourey of understanding human pshcyokology-or rather, the lack of understanding it.

"I know it's too late because these vultures are already trying to dig their feet and hands into whatever they can do to make themselves ride off of what we have, but we don't have to go all the way. Not if we don't want to."

"I want to trust you." Your hands squeezed against his mane as you began to ease im back downward. His eyes widned in his vulnerable fashion as he snapped his body halfup as his desperation met your eyes. "What you thought of, it wasn't for nothing."

"And what if this dsoen't go the way it feel it should? What if they get an especially bad angle, or worse-something with perfectly executed photoshop material to use for images that could cause who knows what between us?" He stammered, only slightly, in the ay that was rare for hoim in hi otherwise well spoken manner of how he was that showed off his natural grace of intelligence. "What then?" His teeth poked, and that was enough for you to laugh with that ease that only existed with genuine warmth of amdiriton for the allure you had for his timid conflcton.

Bojack allowed his body to eased down, and his hands threaded onto your sides as his head turned up, his teeth still poked out all the while as the conflciton and tension didn't leave his body. He closed his eyes, and somehow that made him all the more handsome and impossible worthy to be cradled to you as he felt your thighs ease onto the plump curve of his stomach with full resolve. Your face began to tower over his as you felt him enter you, his disposition and face slightly wortn but ultimately accepting as youw atched what you deemed a shte most tender profound conflciton on his expression, the entrance to any truth you ever could have experienced,your own specific experienceinto truth and of wha made up the orgionalityof a firsthand experience of a life that you knew you would have sufferd otherwis,e and blurry vision and aching bones and the announce of mockery of the others and the internet annoyance of disconnect from it was it not only worth it, but suddenly eevn th bad had a profound ebay of challenge and worthwhile feeling of force to fight it where previously there had only been a harrowing and aimless lost bad.

"What if we end up the same as the woman and Brad?"

Bojack spoke the words with that somber tone that could have changed you just from hearing it with how perfectly it was meant to be met against the way you yourself was made. His eyes oepend as they squinted sickly only a moment after, and his head eased up slightly as his hands eased on your hips. He gave an ease of a breath as his head titled up to you, eyes glimmering into question into your eyes as they edge of your ease met onto his, and he eased his body back down again as he turned his eyes back up to the ceiling as he felt the dlight tug on your han to pull him back down to the floor.

"If we were like them, if we were anything like them, then I think we're already there, sweetheart. And with the way it feels anfd with the little sense that makes up anything else otherwise, I'm alright with that, all things cosniderd.

Bojack laughed, gently, as expression eaed up to the ceiling as the curve of his lips eased up, gentless easing into his eys. Just as it wa with lfie and experience, loving him and experiencing the choas of what suroruned the both of you first had was far further from the act ofhearing it from others, new depth and thoughts and experince and anrrtaives brought and come only to the two of you because of experiencing the depth you btoh had first hand.

"All things considered. I like that."

There was a autentic and gentle reflection in Bojack's voice that eased onto the details of his face as he rased his head back, a vague clairty easing into his eyes as his head ease donto the palm of your hand. There was enough of an odd simplistic purity in his expression that it caused you to enter Bojakc entirely, and the rasie of the excitement of the people increased as their voices contuined with their choas.

"I love you. Do you know how much I lvoe you?"

Your voice shook right along with the ease of your hips as you began to pleasure yourself into him. Bojack's eyes closed as his lips eased up, a cantonment overwahsing on his features as he allowed himself to fall into the side of the moemntt hat felt authentic, deep, real as it met against his body while your hips felt against the warmth of his intimaicty and of the stikciness of his skin.

"Before I met you there were experiences and things I thought were the entirely of my life, my passion, that that was all there was. But you reminded me that existence was about something far more than patterns of predictability or even of knowing mmsyelf or finding that a virtue; your excitnece and how I fell in love with you was so strong, overpowering that it remidne dme just how not lonerar life is, or even for msyelf. That things can implsode and become ane entirely new narrative from something you never eve guessed and become the most important thing in your lfie and chnage eveeyrhitng entiley even as you came into thinking you knew it."

"Iss that right? And you think this is the conclusion to everything you thought was the conclusion before?"

Bojack's voice was vaiuely teasing, his head turned up to a vauge tilt as he eased hs head forward, but for the majority there was only a genuine question in his tone that expressed the gudience of his genuine humanity and vulnerbaility. There was a melting of authenctity that dressed around your disposition as your felt your own expression ease into an impossible tenderness as you took him in all of his his lost and abused bumbling nature and the sophciaition and grace of what was in the handsome curve of his xxpresion and the chubbiness of his torso. As frsutraed and as black as much as he was with the culture that surrounded him and always would, there was an impossible clarity in his expression, a dignity to his eyes that cause you to breath shakily as you muttered a ressurnece meant for you both while you eased him back onto the ground.

"How shitty do you feel right now?"

"How..shitty?" Bojack tasted the words as he allowed his body to eased under your body. His head turned to the side as your lip rested on his cheek, melding into a softness of the curve of your intimacy as you felt the most powerful thing a person could ever have or ever hope to have, the consistency of spiritual and soulful truth. "I guess as shity as I would expect to feel afte the amount I drank and treated myself tonight. And yet somehow that concludes not at all." He turned his hea,d but only lightly, enjoying too much the feeling of being coddled as he felt your intimate lips and hips ease as it made love to his body. His words were hesitant, as eased with the weight of a good and troubeeld heart in a clumslly modled body as you always adored as he eased himself onto his elbows, gazing at you in question. "Why?"

"Deep down. How do you feel?"

His expressions as authentic in question, flased and traced by the lights beside his snout, one of which he eased up his hand to every now and then as his ears lowered. "Is now the time fo a deep insight session?"

"We always are. When we're together. We don't do it intentionally, but I don't think you and I can help it, really, what we do and how we make each other feel the deeper parts until we feel truly alive and reosundly aware."

Bojack's eys dilated as the trouble of them eased across your expression, one hand eased across his chest as his fingertips were cramped on his palm. His eys threaded into his expression of his vulberaility as his ears lowered down. A breath lieft his lips, a complacent sigh as much as anything as his eased threaded against yours.

"I guess you're right."

"So how does it feel? In the middle of this chaos? In the worst nightmare of being perceived by these people, naked? You wanted this for a reason, and I think it was a challenge to see how much we cna do for one another. How much we can continue to do."

Bojack's eyes were dialtd in thought as they flickered, as if in greeting with whatever narrative of uncertainty and chaos was going on in what you deemed as the beauty of his chaotic conflicted mind. His expression pouted as he turend his eyes up, vulnerable and at ease but conflicted, and all at once wonderfully human in that breathtaking and painful authentic human way.

"It feels. Fine." He paused as he tasted the word, his eyes easing down as conflciton came over his expression as he thought it over in the befuddled expanse of his mind, perefeclt met with the right words when he wanted to. "It feels amazing, even."

You nodded, another ease of your hips agains this own as it psuehd pleasure between the both of you. "I know."

"It dosne;t mater. It never has. Maybe that's why I felt so empty about it before. I was always humiliated, but it was never evn for anything. It was just for another fake scene for something that woudl entertain people for the minute ease of two seconds while he went onto the next thing. People that more than likely didn't even like me." He eased his body down, allowing the back of his back to be pulled by your fingertips as the empty dialtionof the consideration in his eys turned up, expression eased into tension, this time one of positive forgiveness rather than otherwise. "This time it can actually mean something." he shrugegd as his epresison took on a drynes. "I mean, if i was always the joke, it may as well be though something like this that makses sense."

"You're the energy of my existence. Without you the life in me would be complacent, unremarkable, nothing."

"And now its incredible and life inducing with fascination?" Bojack's eyes met the dryness of his tone as it met the worn of the question on his expression, but you only felt the invention of his question ease into his teasing of how far you had to go; o life as a whole being a journey of one thingtot he next, and of the loneliness of finding true and resounding love and connection.

"We'll get there."

"I don't think there is a there. I think we're just here." He paused as his eyes met yourrs, with the gentle curve of his lip raising up as his expression met yours. "I think we're just here, and I think that's all we'll ever be. And I think that's ok."

There was wisdom in his tone that overcame even your own logic you could have used to comfort you, andf the way he spoke it caused your own clarity that came into the allure of how you were brought into him to increase. Your lips turned down as it eased onto his cheek again, but this time Bojack turned his snout as he caught your lips on his own, his eyes closed as he gave a playful glint of a breath agaisnt yours.

"We're both on the timeline until the end every day. I'm glad I found you before it happens for either of us. We're born into this overcoming and overpowering beast known as existence, and eveyhin we do is in the deesperate overhwlemign response to that. You're one of the elements tha feels so good in response to that." Another graze of your lips against his mouth that eased against the intiamcity of his mouth. "You make it make sense, the fear, the unknowing, the anticipation. You feel like s soothing grounding. Thank you for that."

Bojack breathed shakily as he felt your lips ease away from his. There was a question in his eyes, but it was spoken niw through the understanding of the itniamcity of your body as you cintuiend to thread pleasure onto his hips. Your face eased forward as it placed onto his snout, and he closed his eyes, and the overhwlemig truth of existence that could so often easily fall into compalceny was tempaorly snapped away as you btoh instead focused on the ease of the grounding of what you or anyoene ver craved; the extent of rhythm if your bodees and the gorundign with one another that came from being genuinely at ease and in the same famailirty of one another's strnageness and not only acceptance, but recongzinbility.

"Please don't make this feel like a mistake. Or more strange or at risk than it already is. Towards…whatever it is that's wrong with me. Or them. Anyone. I don't want to know about anything bad tonight. For once, I just want to feel this good thing between us. Please."

There was a dignified rasp to the way that Bojack spoke, and his head eased back in his despeate vulnerable shakeiness. Your lips bit on the bottom of his branwy one, still with that odd energy of that gentle and more modest romanticism between the both of you, almost old fashioned in contrast to the trahsiness that made up Boajck's previous life.

"Whatever happens, I know that you came to me to make a life worthwhile. Whatever it is you're made of, it was something mae to give our narratives of our own inner lives worth it. For ourselves. Since for people like this, we know no one cares to know what we really think. We can be the truth to one another's inner narratives." Your hand reached out as it eased agsitn his bangs, threading your fingers through the chop of the end of his mane dangling above the rest of his diamond. His eyes were as vulnerable and as alluring as much as his expression as they opened through the puffiness of his eyes that wre beyon weary, even for all their playfulnness. "That would never be wrong."

"I just feel like wherever I hear anyone else talk, it's always either some subconscious additmence about how I don't matter or how someone else should be cosnierd betetrt han me or some reason why I should feel like this was all worthless." He turene dhis head to the crowd as his eeys harded into a lowering that was both attractive and unreadable ar once. "I know tonight is the pinnacle of that."

"Me too. There's too many questions, too many thoughts to think, and too much of agurntee for there to never be a real answer to the constnaly chnagign state of human psychology and lfie and emotion. So why do it? Let's just focus on how things are now, and any tool or anything else that follows is just a component of it-whteehr from the past or otherwise."

"If it was as simple as making clarity o f it just from that I would have figured somehting out long term a long time ago." He paused a shis pupils turne downward, until they eased back up and met into yours. "Ok."

The abrupt agreement was all the invasion you needed, and you raised your body upward as the curve of your face began to ease against his snout. Bojack's eyes that were pure white along with the emotions that fulfilled them turned up, his lip dressed into a pout as h felt your hips contuiend to push pleasure into the ease of his body. The almond depth of his eyes were made even further into how compelling theyw ere as whatever force inside of him was made with a demeand for him to feel it, like a cage of forced soemthing for the emotional needs he ahd failed to give himself, and the compact beauty of it was staring back at you through midnight bright, blinking desperation of his was reaching out to her, his black eyebrows knitted with an almost painful desire while the pleasure of your body eased ito his through thrust after thrust. As it was with bodies and with the ease of how you knew one another through the pracice of it becoming more known and practiced through those nights under sweat laden and cigarette guided sheets, there was just as much a reforming of the peace the both of you found not despite, but eve because of the chaos that surorudned the both of you, plenty to be occurring to be covicned of worthy of sworn, and even elss of it amtterign as the tow of you developed the most useful skill of being fully at ease and present with one another's bodies.

"Make sure that you keep a tight grip on her ass, BJ! You don't want her getting away."

Annoyance crossed Bojack's expression as you felt him let out a gruff breath, his eeys tensed as he eased his ehad to the side while you felt his muscles ease witha conflicted heat under your lips.

"Where is that woman?"

The question left Bojack's lips in the same way you'd hoped his muddled mind had come to forget about for a time, but the truth was that it was too much of a demand for you to expect Bojack to go entirely into the gorudning spirit of one another and the unfathomable warmth and focus on pruosi to it with the constant interruption; that, all things cosniderign his cionflcited air and of what bothered him and what was important, as isolated as it was for any oen given person, would ahev made sense at what was the pinnacle of his inteiton for this on this night.

"I don't know." Bojack breathed a ease of uncerintity as his head curved back over to your face, his eyes hollowd as his handds froze against your hands as the wet sofntess of his eyes eased up to yours in a tmeproarly adorable questioning."But, maybe we can try to get her to come back and do and give us whatever we want if we continue to give everyone ehre something to think about that matches their energy and what they're capable of understanding."

Bojack's eys dimmed as his pupils threaded into conflict while turnign down and away from your eyes. "I don't know." he shrugged as his eyes winced. "She's not the kind to stick around. Not after a monolouge like that. Not for trash like this."

"I was teasing, and anwyay-" Your hips began to ease down onto Bojack, and his eyes took on that adorable clumsy uncerinity while your hips eased onto the plush of his skin and the emotions changed into a further intense grodunign spark in that moment, you were remidned of the constant possibilities that made up human existence. "And anyway, I think it's a good idea to try and see what we can show her. She had a lot to say and evenb more she belieevd. Let's see which one can come out on top if it. I know that you're scaredof things you remmer from your past that may haunt you for the rest of your lfie, or feels like they ycan, and of current pain andof things that have happened to you and have come and gone, but I think you did this to try and addres that and take control of it-and I think we eshoukd both follow that." You breath in, feeling the full flexibiltiy that made up the true freedom of life and its impossible amount of emotional anrratives, and how for you, Bojack was at the core center of it, as unlikely to be met from the start and as much as part of the chaotic disocnenct from the world a smucha s you ahd ever convinced yourself you werne't made for, until he had made a resounding greeting towards now being the centemrne of anything that had ever made sense/

Bojack's expression, althought still eased into that impossible uncerinity and sickliness of qurstiion across his face, trmaored as he felt your hadn eased on his cheek. His eyebrows lowered into something more playful as he raised his eyes up, eyebrows threaded into detemriantion of his own cocky playfulness.

"You sure that she's the kind of women to see freaky shit?" His eyes dialted into the choas in his head that was now succumbing to his more playful and sexual heated ease side, and as his teeht eased out of his lip and his eyes snapped back to yorus, you could see how permanently vulnerable and uncertain he was even when it came to that; and your sense of protection eased out further as you allowed yourself the pelausr eof confirming it as you thrusted your hips onto his bod with another ease. He raised himself up from the ground as he looked at you with that increased playful energy-the same kind that made him as unpredctiablea s you had ever known him, and you knew you would spend the rest of yoru lfieboth chasing and wanting to know more of at the same time. "Is there any chance that we could do something to make her and everyone e else ehre see us, as me, something more than just a guy whos etttled because he feels old?" His eyes froze for a moment as he met your temprilary unreadable expression. "Not that that's a reflection of you or has to be your fault. But it's clear she's kooky in the ehad, and I think it would be up to us to try and change that."

You turned your head down for a moment, and set the mood for your words as you eased your durken blurry hadns across his palm; Bojack's uncertain ease turend down as he met your fingers while they eased on his palm with his face awashed in that handsome lostness.

"You are my everything, and I mean that in the snse that even though everyone is just a pssing small imposisbly insigdigent blimp off the scope of existence no matter who they are, that everything fades and every headspace dosent' matter in the wide scope and if we felt how muchbthey didn't no one would try, and yet the way I feel for you feels as if its the loudest scream of what makes up what I'm made of. All the possibilities of both relationship and of action I could have taken, and I took the most unexpected road of loving you, and not one inch of me is brought to regret it." Your eyes eased into sofntes as they threaded on his shoulders. "I knwo its comfortingto cling onto people that seem like they know something, but we don';t have tow rory about her. Our strength is in loving one another."

There was a glint of heated uncerinity teasing inside his own gaze as he looked into yours, though for all his uncerinity and for the pain that was inspired by the chaos around him, there was at least some trust in what you were speaking, despite the chaos of what surrounded you and the unforgiving laughter of people's mockery and their amusement of the superficial to match their air.

But acceptance eased into Bojack's ears and the thread of what made up a rich humanity that you inssipired out of one another increased as he allowed the ease of your body to make love on his own further as he turned his head back, eyes closed while there was the scarred wounds emotionally that would meet agaisnt the wear of his face from a life marked and never lessening. His teeth poked out, adding that gentleness of his unceirnity that caused you to melt into ease at taking it in as your body continued to ease pleasure, the softness of the only thing that had ever soothed either of you in what made up unforgiving jadeed hard edge of what surrounded you otherwise.

"Just please make sure this is worth it. Listening to my dumb, stupid ideas, anyway." Bojack's voice treamored, but there was clarity and acceptance in his voice now where previously there had been a chaos of fight towards what was unable to be fought. The puffy bloated bags under his eyes and the natural intelligence of his tone was met by the allur of his clinflcited welcome and grace and it was traced by a childlike and incessant impotence while he eased his body back against the stained and borken expanse of the glass from bottles and from the window that had been broken from brad's own jumping, the incessant uncaring kicking from people of the party as they had made their way back inside to continue to entertain themselves from what was in front of them to entertain them next..

"You really think this was a good idea?" There was a lowering of his eyebrows as they rested over his eyes, conflicted in question as his teeth raised intoo a grin while he turned his head up; it ws uncertain and sickly in a sense, the same way things always were with him, but there ws just as much a welcoming gentleness of home in the tremor of the muscles on his expression as he turned his head up with his micvhielous eyes gazing up to you.

'I don't think it. I feel it, like a spiritual allure that I follow because it sooths me, the same way that I feel soothed and carried from loving you. The best things that carry us in life are the kinds that we simply feel and we follow, and that's what you are for me. That's how easy it is for me to do that with you."

Bojack's lips eased up into a smirk that could have been interpreted as agreement as his mouth threaded and easd onto yours.

"Just make sure that no matter what happens tonight, you allow yourself to go with the world instead of fighting it. Don't let our prupsie keep you content just from being alive, honey."

Bojack;s advice was one that served a s awarning; a blissful as your intimacy was, there was a sharp edge to it that laced against the emptiness on the other side if it failed, and you both knew it could have served and been at any moment. There was a tension there, in and of itself, even outside of the battlement of whatever the world could have come up with. But there was a comfort in the sensation as much as there was an ease of tension, and you allowed Bojack's sully laden tone and advice to ease against your lips a s warning that rested in the air for a moment, and then fell back into the narratives of one another as you cointuiend to ease in the thread of each other's bodies that held both the celebration and the warning that it consisted of.

"I'd like to think it would be that easy, forgetting what this feel slike." Bojack's breath eased against your lips shakily as your lips pulled away for a moment, and his hands reached out as it guided and easeed you back inward. "I think it would destory me, and it is what it is, and you know that, and there' sno fighting it."

"I guess there wouldn't be."

The complex allure of his voice that was capable of a multitude of welcoming inner wayward narratives was a consistent and profound purpose and truth that made you pull closer, continuing to ease your body on his own as Bojack gave a raspy and alcohol laden breath as he eased his head back, pulled by the gentle tug of your fingertips as they threaded against his mane and pulled him down. There was the sweetest curve of his lip as his smile raised up into a grace of peace that was only capable of the depth that he ahd from the scarring of suffering he had gone to get through to where he was now, and the dept of it was increased further as he chcukled gently against your lip. Though the noises were increasing, and no doubt there was the sound of shouting of people around you increasing in their trashy enocurgaments and the flashes of their cameras that ccaused Bojack's eyes to dilate occasioanlyl as the white flashed eased against his eyes while the intimacy of your face pressed away from his own while the muscles on his face twithced and threaded with a sligth grimance, somehow they were becoming more muffled and irrleevant the more you felt Bojack's plush stomach ease onto your stomach, the way you felt his plush hips easing into the curves of his body as he eased his hips onto yours, his gentle raspys of charismatic easing of his tone into yours threading together as the hue ofhis ease threaded and intertwined against yours into his charming fashion that felt like the thrill of aventure of the gentnless of home all at once as your bodies and esseences of your dispotions came together in a mellody of concnetraiton that deemed the rest of the chaos as not only irrelevant, but unwanted, rather than the power it used to have had over Bojack and his wayward unceirnity of who he thought he should have been.

"I know all the research you do at night."

There was something slightly nervous that left his lip as he shakily eased his hands onto yours. How someone could be so cocky and on his feet and yet uncertina withe very movement as someone whow a sunotuched was something that never ceased to amazon you. "You do?"

His awkward shyness eased into the tone of his voice as he spoke, and the wince under his eyes only increased your tenderness towards him as you tried to find the balance between easing him out of his disposition of an old timelines mixed in with his spice for adventure.

"Show everyone here what you're capable of. I know you wanted this for both of us for a reason. Let's both try to give them that. Not for them, but for ourselves."

"They're sex moves. They're not that serious." He eased his shoulders upward with a slight defiance in his eyes as the muscles in his brawny shoulders eased upward from where they were resting under your shoulders. An innocent alertness entered his eyes as they turned and looked in yours in abrasive question. "I didn't think you were paying attention to what I was looking up in the middle of the night!"

"It's ok." There was a sligthe dge of amusement to your voice as it eased against his shoulders, pulling him back down with a gentle ease on his skin as you pushed him back down onto the floor. An awkward whimper left his breath as his eyes watched you with his teeth eased out. He breatehd inward as the fog between you both and the rest of the crowd was temporarily interrupted as you were brought back into the rude loud noise of the ese of their trahsy talk and shouting, but it disappeared as quickly as it came as your palm eased Bojack downward and back onto the resting of the floor. His shoulders adjusted against the floor, chubby cranwy shoulders asjsuting as the troubled nature of his eyes turned up to yours in a questioning of both ease in the rhythm you gave one another while at the same time his anxiety of what the current atmosphere of the world promised. "I entlness and want this too. I want what you want. What you tell me in the middle of the night when we're deciding what we want to do, remember?"

His eyes were the most at tender and gentle profound look of troubelemnt as they gazed into your eyes, but you felt his muscles lessen intheir tension as the impossibe as the grace in his eeys while they sprakled and eased up into yours, the most soul you had ever seen in troubeeld eyes that met so lovable against the aged bloat that made up his worn face and against bloated cheeks. His eyes were troubled and the depth of them was somehow made even more so from the noise and the lights of the constant changing party that eased in contrast into the light of his eyes while it threaded into the depth of his toruebelkd eyes.

"I mean-it would be fun to try at least one or two of the things I saw. Embaressaing, and incredibly subpar in the diginit ysrea-"

"C'mon, Horseman!" Another voice abraisvley shirked out into the crowd, enough to make Bojakc cringe and winced as his head snapped over his shoulder while there was that temporary piercing through the fog that existed between the both of you of that incessant grounding human warmth. The wince in Bojack's eyes and the dialted panic in his expression only increased in its annoyance as his ace cramped into an ease of a cramp of panic. Your hands threaded up against his cheek, and it was the only thing to turn the panicked dilation of his eyes back up to you that met against his almost aniamlaistic panic that came from a lifetime of disocnenct.

"I have so much fund seeing you in those tende rmoments. How caught up you get in it."

His eyes roleld up in defense, though there was a suggesitoin of emabressmnt that came across from his vulerbanility in the middle of then night while he sat up with one hand on the curve plush of his stomach, hsi eyes easing up into an ease of excitement at night that had refketed agasisn the blue neon light in the middle of the night while that certain boyish joy had eased into his excited glinting eyes agaisntt he screen. You hadn't saaid anything; those nights that made up simple observation as the intimacty and comfortbailtiy that could have only been made up from sweaty skin against skin had against the lavdneor of the aftermath of the wamrht of the body sensations of skin and intimacy against one antoher had met your while hair had rested agaisnt your cheek and eased into the edges of you mouth while you had watched him the in intimaicty that made up a night of sleeping and gentleness of what came from the intnes efocus of what was the pinancble of bth human experience and the consnet and want of it that came along with the rest of finding it in the other.

"I mean, I wouldn't say that it was because I was necessarily caught up in it. More like just vaguely fasnciated of how to keep something interesting after doiing the same bland pratice for the past few years."

"Show me, then."

Bojack's eyes winced as his expression eased up to yours. "What?"

"Show me. What you want. Both in this scenario and in anywhere else."

His eyes lowered, and there wa sa gentle defnes ein his expression as the light in his eyes dimmed.

"I don't want that." His ears lowered a she adjusted under the touch of your hands that eased onto his shoulders. "I don't want any of that."

"What do you want?"

His eys lowered as his fingertips gripped onto where his shift would have been, thought now it was just stout fingers easing against his molded chest as his expression eased dtown into thought.

"I just want to feel what it feels like to be itniamte. Without it being a joke or dumb or feeling like it's just some other acitvtiy to do like everything else except its just as empty and pointless and stupid. I want something more than any of that. I just want this to feel diginfed. Good. Like it means something away from-" He paused as his cynical eyes, dressed in disocmofrt, eased to the rest of the crowd that seemd enocurgaed even by the turning of his hea.d He lazily waved his hand beside him as his dry eased up to yours with his eyebrows quriked up. "This, I guess. What everything has ever been, but it felt like the inly thing I had."

You nodded, though it was quiet in the way that spoke of an understanding of the amount of pain he was in even in the most simple moments. You knew his mind, and as you eased pleasure into the both of your bodies in that ease of gentle artisttry of what made up both of your bodies as you rocked your pleasure into you both in that intimate and gentle fashion that he seemd to get the msot catharsis out of, you kenw that his troubeeld soul wouldn;'t be finding any peace tonight; noit after seeing the broken man and the woman of her equal diapir. He would bury it in the back of his mind and ti would come out in tormtned and kicking unpleasant fashions in the way he spoke and in the middle of the night where his own tormented nightmares took over his dreams as the nights when on, nothing but the abrasive tormented of other undone by the world over their lives and the same way in which it had wrecked him with his especially wrecked and timid air.

"Alright." There was a gentle agreement to your to your tone that spoke into an ease of agreement into the way he spoke with tht ease of where you met his tone. His lip turned up as his face eased into a tender agreemnt while his eyebrows lowered down into that puroiuty thst you knew you had been emant to love. "Then we'll do and dsiocvered exactly that."

The msucles on his face flcikered in vauge amsuemnt as is teeth poked out ointo somehting that could be seen as an uncertain ease of an agreed grin. "Yeah?"

Your hand glided down his thighs, easing in between the spaces of his thighs as you felt his ease of breath greet into a soft tone of want of dynamic between the greeting of the uncertain tone of his voice and the somber eternal way it took you in as your palm glided onto the spaces of his thighs. His teeht contuiend to poke out while his eyes guided intoa trembling ease of vulnerability as his body easd back against the back of the floor while your hips eased onto his further. He took an intake of a brath as he felt a new intensity to the way you body was easing and pleasure itself against his hips, and his eyes widned as his ears splayed back while your pleasure cointuiend to metl against his thighs as he let out let out a whimper that only added to your want of being able to be as close to him a possible. The soft noise of his tone only added to your desire to press into him further as you felt you want to know every dynamic of his mind and the layers of it to be known and pelausdred by yous, even though you knew such a thing that futile and impossible, even though there was the knowing that part of loving him was the knowledge of only being able to feel him, but never having any essence that made him who and what he was, and though you would never know it, you certainly felt it.

Despite that impossible profound complication in his eyes that was eased even further from his conflicted expression and that depth that never would hav ceased in you wanting to know it further for everything it was, there was a playfulness to the overhwleming emotional complex climax the both of you had for one another. He knew the games that you was playing-that lightness that came along with loving someone as mucha s you did each other, and the knowledge that you were both enjoying the dynamic of peeling back each richness and expeicning it to its full capacity as much as you wanted to, and ehc one giving anew life of understanding one another a little more each time. His head titled forward as the muscles on his face tensed, and there was a playful knowing heat in his eyes that met against the depthfulness between the both of you as his hand reached out and squeezed onto yours, his own rare way of truing to meet into your own air and tyring to take control for once, despite his timi eessence that made him more of the person to be protected rather than the protector, but he knew and felt that for once, he was loved either way.

His plush hips hoisted against yours, and there was that adorable look of his own etemiaotn for control in his eyes depsite all of the natural apology that followd his expression while his uncertain and wet naturally tender eyes eased onto your expression with his own tenderness. He was trying to play along woith you in the dynamic of his detemiantion heh wanted to give you, to take control, and he felt from the way you were easing your hips and pleasuring into him that he wanted ti and wa strying to speak your language just the same.

"You go where I go. I follow where you follow." Your lips were whispering their tnedferness as you felt the surreality for more than just the alcohol as your lips gudied agsint his mouth, and he rasped a chcukle as his ears flicked back while he felt your itniamcty guidning onto his mouth. "If you find confidence then I found convince."

Bojack's body eased into your hips, though there was the understanding and the sentiment that thee was a helpness tendernes and laziness to the way he was under you that spoke that you wanted you to simply ease and to do the lead; as much as Bojakc has the cokiness to him at times, at his core there was something inside of him that was as helpless and as uncertain as a child.

His love was being played with his hips while his hand was squeezing against your palm, and there was the naturally agreement between your bodies that spoke that the fog between you, though it was more like clairty, would ease the both of yu further into the night and of you dance of relieved intiamcty against one another, you being the more mother of the leader between Bojack's uncertain natural apology, an him being the dressed down and lovable rock between the both of you that waited for it. His hand eaed on yours and you saw the light in his eeys as he allwod the dynamic to flow between the both of you; the game of your love and of discovering oen another., for he played them with you when he was in his own conflicted and natural artist state.

"Wherevre you go. I'll go." Bojack's voice spoke it somberly as he reflected your words, though the grayutuide of relief in them as it met into the tender glint of his eyes was further protured as he titled his head downward into his tender ease as he tried to follow the outward open display of dephful afection and of that spirituality that he had managed to pull out of you that were were deermiend to thread out of him, to recongizne himself and to follow. "Ok."

His body was hald sat upright, and there was the want to want to feel in control fo4 him, but for the time being was he rendered completely helpless, begging for yur touch of guidance through your intimacy. You could see it in his eyes that he not only desperately wanted any gudience you could give him in that moment, the same way you wanted to have him to be able to follow as a guidance for the pattern od what looked like the ebay for you in life. Though Bojack;s eyes dialed through the flash of the camera and the neevr ending stop of the people's shouts of ther encouragement, as obvliviouis as they ever were to anything in their lives, and Bojack's eyes were unceasing in their sense of panic though the way his pupils hollowed in his expression as his face tensed, there wa still that recneter through how you loved one another, and the wya your hips rockced against each other kept that emotional wall up of sepration.

He wwas beautiful in every way he respodned tot he flashing of the camera and of the gruf nature of the people that talked and chcukeld agaissnt one another, the muscle sin his face tense as his teeth poked out and his eyes closed in his own tired and worn exhaust that made up his expression. Though there was the strain of announce even further in the tension and trembling of his expressioneven though your heaven, he could feel the recentemrne that came from your bond.

"Just breath. Enjoy this along with me."

"I think this might have been an incredibly stuoid idea."

"Maybe." Boajck's eyes flicked donwward into an ease of a slight empty annoyance. "But I never experienced any idea that was authentic that didn't lead to something wortwhile just from that in and of itself. Who knows what could come out of this. Maybe they'll see it a bit differently."

"We're having sex. Not summoning God."

"You know what we saw tonight. What we felt."

Bojack's eys widned. "What does that have to do with us?"

"I don't know. But I think we're on the tehterhing of trying to control thay surrounds us and even what we share. Whatevr it is we ahve, we have a good control over it. And I don't think we should take that for granted."

Boajck's eyes winced into vague announce. "I'm not taking it for granted. I'm just saying I don't know if this will actually go anywhere."

"We don't know that. But it dosen't have to tonight. We don't have to know that."

"Ok. So what do you think we're doing this for?"

"Whate we saw tonight-don't try to pretend like it wasn't something that felt like it was relevant to us."

A look of jaded reasonability eased onto Bojack's fsce as he titled his head to you in question. "What happened tonight ws a guy on his shit and drugs too much trying to get it with his wif where there was no self control. That's what happened tonight."

"But you felt it."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"You asked for the women. I think I feel the same allure." Your hand ease Bojack's neck fully back to lying on the ground, and he allowed it to happen a she esed his ehad back, eyes turning up to the ceiling in accpetnece as he let his head esed back onto the ground with your fingers squeezing agsitn his neck to meet against his body. "You should know by now that it's something that we should both follow for the sake of trying to feel some releif. The same way we found one another."

"Yeah. I should know by now." His shoudlrs adjsuted, but his hands eased onto your shoudlrs in a gudince of agreement as they caressed agaisnt your arms.

His voice eased into a shaken breath as his timid and tende reys eased up into yours, and he felt a slight grounding in his vulnerable expression as his lip curved up inot that impossible ease of his pwn purty, despite the loud nature of sin and of compalcy in itthe others and he hismelf and been pulled into throughout his life.

You paused as your lips pressed onto his knuckles, threasding your body further agaisn his own. The blanket that was barley covering both of your hips began to ease downward from both of your bodies, threading onto the floor as it lied down beside the both of you and elft nothing but the exposed rocking of your hips. The wall between you and the rest of the party began to raise up into an increased exhult of their own encouament that you could vaguely hear to some degree was trashy in its encourgament, but it seemd beyond irrlevance now a yo watched Bojack's troubled worn feautress ease down into his troubelment as his eyes closed and met against eh breathing of his disposition as he allowed himself to be pleasured by your body with the rocks against his, rendering the rest of the chaos to something that for one was something of a foggy irrelevance.

It almost made you nauseous just how much the two of you wanted whatever it ws that you could both feel in that mysterious that made up the disposition of two souls and the complications of it. As far as either of you were aware of, you both quite literally needed each other within that moment. Whatyou felt for each other was more than just half-spoken, half meant requests. There was such a thing as desiring another person so much that it almost drove each person insane, and although you had never truly known the true extent of that desire for her own narrative, you had realized fully what the sentiment meant when you had fallen in love with the black-haired manchild that currently leaned against the the grey floor, plush stomach falling against your hips while chubby hands glided away from your arms and then back up again, almond artistic eyes glowing when the pufffy eyd sickliness of his eyes that wsed out from the poekd torubelemt of the curves of his features poekd out into the open of his expresione evry now and then as his panting met agssint your eys.

A whine accompanied his pants, and there was somehting incredibly somber and gentle about it. You turned your head voer your shoulder ever noww and then towards the crowd. It wasn't that you were preforming; itwas the opposite of compeltle abraiev indifference regardless of whatever occured on what you were both sharing. But you wanted to take in the long term effect of how this would follow Bojack; you knew that for every impuslove decision the bith of you made, there was going to be an even largder decision that would follow in a much more tehcnial fashion in the moiring. The people seemd sas if they were still amsued by the way you were botch pleasuring one antother, and as yu turned your head to the other side of the room, there wer esveerl other couples that ahd taken to pelauring themslevs against couches and onto the floor the same way as the both of you. Some were moire durken and seemd superficial about it, some where easing themselves up into a more quiet and gentler kind of itnimacty. Either way it seemed like the night was tarting to lean towards something slightly more somber and respectful, and the thread and dances of bodies that were easing agsitn each other all seemd now aas if it was the crossfaded and durken aftermath of what had occurred to Brad and his wife. Bojack's hands threaded onto your cheek again, and he did it in a diginfed and gentle fashion enough that it cause you to blink as you turend your eyes back over to him with an ease of a blink. Your expression softnend as it turned back down to where that tender aristc softnes met into his eyes again, gentley sorrowed over from his expresson as his palm caressed agsins tyour cheek agaisn while you bliekd gently as turned your eyes back over to hi sprofound gduidng oens.

"Be here, right?" Three was a soifntes of dignity in his tone compared to the rest of the dance of the dynamic that was surorunding the rest of the space of what made up messy airs and disposition and even moreso actions, and you felt your eyes softened as you came back to Bojack as easily as anything as you turned bakc into the focus of him. His lip raised up as the sofntess eased on his face while his palm began to ease awya from your cheek, his eyes full of that authentic huani8y of wamrht that levregd you above what was ventifnely the majority.

And the two of you were, somehow, in an indescribable way that transcended ayone else in the emptiness of what made up that room. The amjorty of the people of the crowd where starting to crowd further as they made their way to the center space of where the both of you wre increasing your pleasyre, and although there was till that same feeling of what made up minds that were rotted from turning everything into an ironic joke, there was a soft ease of that was starting to thread its way into the crowd as they watched the hue of a mood that began to overcome both of your bodies all the furhter into a way that seemd to execute humanity noiw, or something as slo and as compelling as oemthin in the likeness of it, rather than anything that would have asmued tempairly the same wya that had haunted the majority of Bojack's life, if not even more than anyone in that room, and ionially that was what caused heads to turn as their cocnnetraion disuqieted while their eyes glimmered into the way that Bojakc had his body kept under you, field by his supericiclaity of his past experience and the frustariton fo what it had left behind.

"Let's get onto the counter." It was a request spoken evidnelty on impsulvie, and your body eased away from Bojack's hips as his desoeriton eased up into his eyes while you paused from the rhythm of your bdoeis finding the focus of easing into that healing that Bojakc needed both as an invdiudal as well as the crowd that surrounde dhim the same. Your lip curved into a flciker a syour head eased to the side, your palms guidning against his cheek.

"We're doing well enough ehre, aren't we?"

"No, I know, but-" the muscles on Bojack's face treamored as his head snapped over his shoulder and overto where there was only a minute small space agaisnt the counter. "If we go on there, everything can see me like this, but standing. More vulnerable.

"And that's something you want?"

"I don't-yes?"

His eyes darted up to the counter, and he shot his body up while his head turned over his shoulder. You allowed him to take charge, though you made sure so that your hands were eased against his palm so that there wasn't any determent from where you were able to have some sense of genuine control between the both of you and your dynamic of you trying to care for him in the middle of his confglicted energy. He changed from narassicsm to being worried about whatthe both of you gave one another and what he didn't, and as it was now, with his eyes turned over to the reflected and blue tinted counter and his teeth tensed toegethet with the profound timidn ease of fear in his eyes as they bulged out of his expression, you could see he wasl leaning towards just wanton to prove to himself thhat he had made a right decision that led to the chaos and the mockery of the crowd that surrounded him now.

You laughed, gently, in a wya that spoke of your allowance or Bojack to follow his impouslive recklessness, though there was an easse of warning as your palm kept thread on his hand. His turned his head back over to you as his ears flicked back, eyes hollowing into wet question as he ease dhis body up with a grunt, his hand stillmkeeping on your hip, but the majority of his attention dragging over to the counter.

"And you think this will help? What you wanted?"

Your voice was soft with inquiry, and the hollwoing extent of determination that eased into his humble, oddly pure fear eased onto Bojakc's eyes a she snapped his head over to the counte,r fingertips playing with his wrists as you saw the chaos of his mind easing through the tremor of the muscles on his expression.

"I think so." His eyes widned as he looked to you with his own detrmaion in the flair of his wide eyes. "Dont; you?" His hand flashed down to his thighs as he realixed he was fully exposed, his toruebld expression easing up to where more people were turning their phones above their shoulders as they gave shouts of amusement. A tremor of his fear and the soft inecuirty that was presnet in both the natural angeelitc egde of his tone and his eyes that could have only been possessed by a profound heart looked to you in question as the muscles on his face treamored while he looked a you in vulnerable question. "If we're going to do this and show these guys that I'm more than just some sleeping around asshole, isn't this the best way to do it?" He jumped back as he gave another abrupt breath as more flashes from the camera eased in front of where his bdy was treamoring in front of the flashes, his hands gripping onto his plush and branwy thighs. As naturally dignified as Bojakc was no matter what kind of trouble he got himself into, there was an especially troubled look in his eyes and the way his plush body wased down into apology that caused an especially regret glint in his eyes and an ask of desperation for help. He breathed in, intense and begging as his hollowing wet eyes turend down to watch you, already asking for helpin just by virture of his association of what he had promised you; something it had taken you chippings away of fight to finally achieve.

You reached down as you gripped your hands onto the blanke, and the fragile ease of the timid tremor of Bojack's expression turned downward as he breathed in shakily and gripepd his chubby hands onto the blanket. You helped wrap it around his hips, your hans treamroing against the gentelenss of the curve of his plush stomach against your hand as you finsiehd wrapping it around his hip. The worry of the bleakness of his eyes increased as the tense eand timid nature of his expression snapepd over to the counter.

"Ok. I'll go over there and we'll make sure that we can both do something that looks-" His eyes dilated as his nervousness cuaghtt he better of his words.

"What?" Your eeys turend up from where you were setltling your hands on the plush curve of his stomach, settling the blanket agaisnt his plush hips, trying the rest of the sheet against his plush hips, your fingertips resting on the tickling thread of his happy trail. Your eys were gudining, almsot motherly, as the way it was the worked for the both of your as the shimmer of your eyes eased up. The apology of his expression snapped downward a his eyes eased into a wet uncerintity while the pout of his expression snapped down to you.

"I don't know. Something natural, of course. But-" His eyes dilated again as his ears lowered. That profound, gentle unceriniuty in his expression only dded the the richness of the experience he gave you just from virtue of existence caused your eyes to dim as your hands caressed the side of the mold of his hips, your body gradually starting to ease back up onto the sides of his shoulders, her palms threading against the brawny ease of his chubby shoulders while his words faltered as his expression dimemd while he looked to you in melcolny.

"You know that this isn't going to channge the nature of people and how they see and respond to you."

Bojack's eyes dimmed, the lfie in them conflciting as his expression eased onto yours in question.

"Ok, but." Hi hands rached up into a delicate dance against oen another, feminine and at ease with a gentle intimacy against his palm that me tinto the conflciton of his eyes as it threaded across the crowd of the people and the waves in front of his trouebld air and the gentle and firmly intimate and confidence but somehow gunning for approval all at once. "What if this is a night where that's not the case, and this is a night where I can try to turn it around? Make everything better, make it feel better?'

"For what? People's perception and ideas od you and quality of life?"

"No! I mean-maybe. I just-" There was a clumsy soundto his voice that spoke conflcito and uncerinity as his vocie cracked. The msucles on his faec treamored as his eyes turend up to the space. "I just think that if there was aunty way for me to try and think things could be easier for me, for us, we should take it. And the only way to do that is to make sure we keep people as convinced in the most superficial way, right? Isn't that all that people want?'

"Why are you so worried about this now?"

There was something unreadable in Bojack's eyes. "What do you mean, now?"

"Why is this so important to you?" There was a sligthe dge of panic to your voice, and the lights increasing and the shouting coming from the people surrounding you were only increasing in their supercilious enterianemnt. No matter what Bojakc thought and no matter hwi aaggreveated it was making you feel, there was truth to what he was precicing in the moment and how he took it. "Why now, honey?" Your hands took his even as Bojakc tried to walk his wya over to the counter, tripping rather than successfully walking over to the small space on the edge of the counter that was currently the only space that was saved from where the grasshopper man and the woman under him where increasing in their thread of their intimacy, the only space being an inch of the counter reflected against the blue light from the party that was increasing in its chaos. It seemd intentional; there ws the sounds of younger people boucnign as their voices raised up into a sanapped enocuaging air while their hands contuiend to ease onto the dilation of the music box. "You don't have to live in this cage or narrative like you think you do. You don't have to follow any one specific narrative at any given time in your life."

"Yeah?" His baloted eyes winced as the heat in them turned over to your eyes. There was a sluight insult of ease against his expression as a flair eased into the wet fight of his eyes. "Why ar eyou telling me this now, right in the middle of what you were encoauging and helping me achieve a second before? This whole week. Now's the time when you want to start having a revelation?"

Even now you could see just form how his eyebrows were lwoered into a tremor of his natural tenderness and apology as equally heartfelt eyes met into yours, butt he ego that was fueling him and the powering of it was holding you back from where there could have soe aisly been a mehcolony between you. You turned your fingertips down onto his palms as you tried to raise them up to his chest in a apaolgetic and fmeienien wound the same way that followed his every action of who he was, but he pulled himself away witha slight inch and still a vague look of fight in his eys.

"it's not a rleevation. I just don't understand why you're puting yourself through this torutue-" You stepped forward to try and raise your hands onto his palm, but Bojakc only kept himself firmly threaded into his body, and the only thing saving hsi defeinace was the amount of liquor he had drank and the sheet around his hips. You accepted it, your body raisign up in accpetence as you watched him in the question of your own air that was affected by the conflciton of his. "And you're married now, too. You don;t think things are different now?"

"Exactly!" His manneirsms that were made from dilated from his pupils and his hands threaded on his chest were imploded into a sudden break of defiance as his eyes eased to yours ina defiant squint. "That's exactly what I think, yes! You came to me at a time in my life where I didn't think those kind of things happen anymore. You came to me when I had given up and didn't even things like that excited, let alien hapepnd. You did all of that. You gave me hope." The defiance in his eys eased intoa softness as his body began to at least sltighly tremor away from where he was tense, his body easing down as he watched you with an exhust of sadness in his eeys as he met yours. "You did all of that. You took away my cycisn, this cofmot that I had ebcuase it was something to believe in even if itwas terrible and fmaialir, and made it something unbelievable and turned it into something that I wasn't even sure existed." he poitned to you, tenenvitevly, his ears stil lowered and his expression giving away all the soft ease of gentnelss you had evr seen painted on his face, enough to melt whatever edge you had in yoru argument as you felt yoruslef taken away by hte speifici gentle narrative of who he was the way he always so antrally did. "You did that, and now I want to see if I can take this sign, something I enevr would have beleieevd in otherwise, and try to make it something different. I'm not going to sit on my hands and let the negatvs side of it define me and then have time pass and realize that the good or bad didn't matter in the grand scheme of things anyway. I'm tired of that." There was a crack to his vocie as he spoke, and more emotional and compacy feeling to it than anyone else you had ever heard in anyone you could have sworn you ever heard talk. It was enough to make you step forward as your own edge entitled, and Bojack';s eys were the most tender and precious you had ever sen in anyone, and in that moment you only painfully wisheed you could have become them. "So I want to tyr and take this night and see if I can make it any different." He rasied p both hands in his adorable, clumsy and attempt at conviction. "There's no right answer to anything, right? So why not try to take a chance and do something that feels right?"

You breatehd in, and you stepped forward as your eyes were dim while youa allowed your disposition, soft and precious for reaossn that you knew only existed because of him, walked forward as your steps eased towards Bojack. His teeth poked out and met the tremor in hsi soft eyes, but eh didn;'t turn back this time as your hands reached out and eased onto the feminine ease of his hands on his chest, met by the spaces of your hand as you leaned forward and squeezed your hands onto his, easing yoiruself into the lostness of Bojack's expression that his tenderness gave you and the undeifnibale hope and snteght that came from it as his face feel whale he watched you.

"Most of the entertainment that makes people feel thinsga nd the characters that are written based odd fo the idea of the baciness of limtions that they assume people have. You don't have to have those limiaitons in real life, darling. You never did. There is no limitations on the mind or human life, and that's why they put them on art; so they can tell a contained and understandable sEtory. But rEla lif Eis choas, and you can make and chose whatever it is that you want to do. Espiclally now."

Boajck's hands tensed on yours. 'Yeah, I know, but that dosen't have to be relevant to tonight. Can't tonight be a night where I get people to respect me?"

"By what? Having sex?"

"Maybe!" Boajck's eyes widend in attempt of convention, and both tendenress and protection while att the same tiem worried exhaust eased into your eyes as your squeezed yoru hands onto the trouble innocne of his eyes.

"It gets worse the more that you allow the rpecetion and deifntions of how other people see you to continue to define how you see yourself until there's nothing left and not even you can define your cirucatnce sotuisde of that the more the years go on."

"I know that." There was a boyish but emotionally profound and didgined sofntess to his tone, someone who had all the ease and expereince of life and what ti foretold while at the same time having the emoitoanlly vulnerability of something who was especially worn and remakrbale of heart. He poitned at you, awkwardly, until his hand fell by his side again. "But you said a few weeks ago and even tonight that you would do whatever it was that you felt would help me. And after everything that happened tonight, shouldn't we try to do anything we can for oursleves, for anyone here, to make it a little btetr? After what the woman said?" His eyes increased in their worry as his ears flciekd while he mentioned the philosophy the foggy eyed women had spoken of. "Don't pretend like what she said didn;t change the way things felt tonight. Whether it's real or some drug induced dbullshit ot not." His let out a whimper of an incertain breathe, his hands easing onto yours, and the tenderness of his expression flooding ver his snout as his yes were vuleneerable while his hands ased onto yours in his patehitc and wleocming tremor. "Can't you give me this tonight, at least? Even if it dissent' work?"

You felt your eys burn, and it was led behind the emotion form the emotional power that you knew only preciving Bojack and the amount of how he could make you feel just from the virtue of being who he was and how eh exited. He gave another gentle easd of a rasped breath as his trouebld eyes threaded against your exprsison, begging for whatever shred of sense or of hope he could ease himself into.

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself. To do something for the wrong reaossn. To amek any negative narrative you mighjt be carrying around inside of you any worse."

Bojack's eys dimmed as he watched you, his ears loweriing down.

"I think it might be too late for that."

There was a somber melancholy to his voice that could only be executed in his profound insight that only the low depth of his voice was capable of. You could feel that he meant it, and a certain defeat came over you as you met his own lost eyes. "Just remmeerr to not punish yoruslef just because you're not living up to the standard of what people think existence or what someone should do with it is. Most of it is just projected loathing of having the desire to make and achieve and accomplish and be happy inside themsleves in kind for it. You don't have to be one of the countless numbers of bugs to be in response to it."

Bojack's eyes eased down, and there was a profound distance in them that was full of more thought in his expresson than you knew you would ever be able to memorize, only take in as it was, and to love it as it was. He shurgegd nonchahtnly as his expression turned ip as he watched you with his edge of distanc.e

"I don't think you should have married someone who's already found their place into that part of life a long time ago."

There was a set in stone regret ot his voice, one as weapinzed against him as much as it was against yours, but you allowed it to sweep between he ease of the oth og you for what it was. The ebay and only ay of having peace or contment with life or of anything it conatiedn was to take things as they were in the moment, and you allowed the richness of your dynamic and loving him and meeting him where he was to settle for a moment, unattashce dto the toxic natures of people succumbing to their stumbling philisohihes and graces and uncare of how they went about their lives that would drga eahc o you down, but your love simple was, and it simply always would be, and though that was there a prescence that was unattched to anything else, as present as innocence could be at your ages.

"Alright." You nodded, a small one, and all Bojakc neeed for the curve of his lip to raise up into hat boyish hope.

"You;re sure?" One chubby wrist raised up as his eyes turned to the counter, his eyes melancholic and fearful, but utliemtley already having that playful exalted enenrgy as he turned his hed to the counter. His energy chnaged into something more determined as he breatehd ind eep for a moment and took your hands onto his and gave an ease of a breath. "Ok. If we go over there without looking or making too much of a scene or making it look like we don't know what we're doing, we should be fine."

His head snapped over to the counter, and his hands gudied into yours in his oddly romantic fashion with the gentleness of it easing onto your palm. That was enough for you to eb encouraged in that confident tmanner as Bojack ebgant o ease yuu over to the coutne,r yourself tripping over your feet asyouwalked with him to the space of it. His eyes turned down to his sotmatch that was vulenrbale and the rest was only covered because of the blanekt that had been rasid under his hips. He grunted as he was eased agsitn the counter, your hands graudcating away from his palms asyour ahnds began to follow his arms while he looked at you wtih the gudienc of his attmept at dermiantion in the middle of a teasing heart. His eyebrows eased down as his expression furowed up to you, teeht poked out as he allowed his ahnds to be met by your own itoimaicty as he impossible clumsy grace of his both experience and grace and yet that more profound inenr uncerinitythat has never been truly reassured, and mayebenevr would, settle ditslef onto his expression..

"Only you could make both confidence and shyness go hand in hand, and in such a beautiful way." Your words were whipped, and Bojack gava e chuckle of something confident but tender as he pulled you in with his hands squeezed onto yoru wrists.

"Can you take my sheet off? No one cans ee the other parts yet. I know that when they do, that's when the real vulnerability part starts." His eys winced slightly even just at speaking it, but he spoke the request with the attempt of wanting to be at least somehwta of a soothin transition towards to make the event what he wanted. Your lips kissed against his knuckles, and you smield as the wamrht of your eyes eased into his as they then graduated over to where your hands teasd agsitn where the balnekt rest on his hips.

"Alright, fully body suite! We don't get content this easy at any other party."

"Dead dead, dead wife, now celebrity nudes. I'm officlaly at a real party!"

Bojack chuckled, lodu enough that it was meant to bt encouraging towards the people, though you felt the inseucirty in everything way he expressed himself. As your hands settled onto the curve of his plush hips ans found their way to the blanket where it was settled on hiships you found your lisp curve up, your fingertips raising onto the sheet on his hips as your lips met against the inaimcity of his happy trial.

"Don't cante to them too much, darling." Your voice was one of intimate whisper, hard edged, but at its core an undeniable sense of your won attempt at lulling him with what was at its core unconditional love. Bojakc eased his wrists against the counter as he felt yoru hands thread across the intertwined sheet until you undid it with your hand entirely, and your eyes tuend up from where they were closed and rested agsint the curve of his stomach as your eyes blinked while they turned and gazed upt him. "I don't want you to reduce yoruslef anymore than you already have, hwtehr for better or for worse on paper."

Bojack was distracted, wet and apologetic eyes meeting into the contradiction of an awkward raised grin as he waved his hand in front of him and gave the occasional laugh to anyone esle who was enterating themslees behind you of what you couldn't have ben bothered to turn around and see. His eys flashed down to you, only for a moment, and somehow your protection for him and the allure of itniamicty for him increased withe very oen of his cimpslitc uncertain movement,s a simple ehart and a simple midn being what Bojakc was amde of, and every part of him drawing you in.

"What I said just now about making sure you knew who you were marrying?" He spoke through an awkward frozen expression meant to soothe the people's enterainemtn. "That still stands."

His voice had that helpless insecurity as he spoke his request, though there was just as much od an edge to it that was intimidating as much as it was a begging request. You settled for allowing your hands to cradle his chubby lovehandles, easing your hands onto the rocking of his hips as he melted agsintt he edge of your palm a your lips kept on the preciousness of the curve of his plush stomach.

"That's right! We got your cope tonight! It'll be a great one, too!"

He was buying into the attention, and though there was the knowledge that you had just form knowing him and his heart that there was an extneisve amount of fear there, you knew hat now that now those threads of inseciurty had been pulled from the narrtaves of worth that had been thruted onto him, and the only thing to do now was the come along with him and to tyr to lessen the damage as much as you were able.

Your hands guided across his shaft as you saw hiis private part eae otu brtween his thighs. It was less than medium sized, and the inseicurty tensed further in his body as he felt the way your hand guided against it. He took an intake of a breath as he felt your hands eased onto the middle part of his privates while yoru hands eased against the middle part between his stout thighs, but you felt the intimacy felt as good as as oddly old fashioned, as all pratices were that were followed byany amount extension of pain, and your hand met against the ease of it as your hands began to stroke him egtbly in kind. Your head turned up as you titled your eys up to see what Bojakc was holding in his eys, and his expressionwas unreadable, but you could see that strain of pain in his eyes as much a you were capable of reading the lines of his air and of who he wa sin his focncited grace. There was an exhstion to everything both of you did, a tired and simplsitci and ease of grace and of slowness and of egntless of somber ease and of profound cradling between the both of you especially when ti came to the itniamcity of your bodies.

As it was within the world, they had a much more different perspective when it came to intimacty, or of any message eBojack was trying to execute of what he shared with you.

"Oh, shit! It looks like they're getting out the standing up weird shit thing!" A chcukle eased out of the lips of the man beside you. You didn;t turn your eyes over to him or entertain his reaction to your intimacy; the wall of fog and of resting withit it iwhtin that fragile but life changing feeling of that romantic slowness of an odd mourning that made up your lives together was farr too easy to stay in rhythm with to even think of or to bother with. You kept your lips teasing on the blakc corase hair of Boajck's happy trial as your lips contuiend to tease it between your lips, as gentle and authentic as much as everything you shared with one another.

But Bojack was more prone to entertaining the white noise of what surorudne dhim. Though you tried to keep your hands firmly pressd onto the lovehandles of him and turne dyour eyes up to his snout to try and ease him into a warning in your eyes that flicked up to him, there was a thread of himself alreayd getting caught into that of which destrioyed him, and would contuiend to do so for as long as he allowed it to; and you kenw he would.

"Hey, man, you can't run a party and promise heat without bringing it, am I right?" Bojack's eyes lowered into a cocky attempt at savvy tease, and you couldn't deny that he did pull it off, enough that when his eyes dilated into a natural inhuman panic when another flsehd of a camer eased across hiss notu and he closed them and showed off his age from his tense announce, it was almsot abrupt, even for you. His eyes wicked as he snapped his heated annoycne back over to the man with his eyebrows raised. "Hey, do you mind clicking the not blinding version on that?" He waved his drunken arm in front of the man clumsy, compalcy in his eyes as he easd his elbows back ontot he counter as his eyes dimmed in that drunk and ass type fashion that he acquired over the years with fame. "You can take a many photos as you want, just don't be an obnoxious dick about it, alright?"

Bojack's voice was slurred with hsiw ords, both with how lazily he became when he was more superficially caught up in his ego, as well as the no doubt superiority he was getting off of his naked body being seen in a celebrated light for the first time. The man blinekd as he raised his phone down, but his main reaction was thrusting his head over his shoulder as he called dto the rest of the people waiting behind himt o come closer. As you turned your head up to watch Bojack you saw where the bottom of his eyes winced a shis corwrdlly nature took the ebay of him. You raised yourself up from where you were kneeld against the curve of his stomach, threading your hands form where thy were rested on his lovehandles until they rested onto his shoulders. Your face eased against his chest, modled in that awkward way that you had come to memroize as your hands rested on his chest, palms easing against his as he turned his snotu and looked at you with the ease of vulanibiloity in his eys that switched between the conflction of hwo he respodned to what was around him, as any uncertain person every did, but his unceirnity was the pinnacle of your adoration.

"If it becomes too much we can always shut it down."

"I knwo that." His voice cracked, and the emotion in his handsome but worn features on his snotu melted into something more at ease as he titled his ehad down and eased his eys into yours. "I know that. I'm fine." His hands reached out as they caressed against your shoulders, and that intiatme warmth between the both of you only caused you to fall further into the vulnerability of your love and the soft genre of it as you were pulled onward. The somber dignity of his voice increased, your hips presse donto the naked hips of his stomach. "I just want to make sure that we all get something out of this the way we want to."