Playlist:
Stone Sour - Through the Glass
Stained - It's Been A While
3 Doors Down - When I'm Gone
U2 - With Or Without You
Steppenwolf - Magic Carpet Ride
Taylor Swift - Style
U2 - She Moves In Mysterious Ways
Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River
Chapter Seven:
I won't be a bore and give details about what we were able to do in the Hinterlands for the few days we were there. Suffice to say, we had Dennett's word on getting his horses once the watch towers were built. The wolves were free of demonic presence, and we'd taken care of the rogue templars stronghold.
Those skulls, the ones that let you find the runes, are fricken freaky. Legitimately human skulls, with crystals for eyes. Like some weird ass binoculars. As for being forced to spot them all, that's even worse. You want to talk about vertigo! I felt dizzy every time I used one. I spent a lot of time bent over staring at the grass after each one.
Don't get me started on those Astrariums. Those nights keeping watch during the blight actually served a purpose though.
As for feeding the people, turns out seven rams and some deer was enough meat. I did get the potion for that woman's asthma, and the cult was reformed to ally with the Inquisition. We decided in unison to come back for the rogue mages after going to Val Royeaux. If anyone was wondering, yes, Solas, Cassandra and Varric did actually start talking about having enough notoriety to be seen by the Chantry representatives after a couple of days.
Here's the point where I remind you, dear reader, that the weeks in Thedas are five days. When I say that we were gone the better part of two weeks, it was about nine days total. Three on the way, three there, three back.
Approximately two hours before we were going to reach Haven, or so I was told, a snow storm hit us. Howling blasts of wind going at least fifty to sixty miles an hour slammed us from the southeast. The horses whinnied and stamped their feet. We'd lost visibility of everything more than twenty feet ahead of us. A complete whiteout in mere seconds.
"We need to take cover!" Cassandra yelled from somewhere behind me, her voice almost getting lost in the howling of the wind.
Snow flew at us, whipping in lashes that somehow got under my hood, my armor and pinched at the warmer skin under my clothing. I yelled out a curse and got low on the horse, easing him toward the handful of trees. "Get blankets! As big as we've got!"
Once we were at the treeline I tried to work quickly with near-frozen fingers. Varric realized what I was doing and he too began tying the edges of sleeping blankets together. Solas, Cassandra and a soldier helped us put the blanket up against the trees, suspending them and tying them to low branches with twine. We weighed them down with big rocks. As soon as the barricades were up the horses stopped with the nervous behavior.
It was still cold, the snow and ice were pelting the blankets and howling around the handful of trees, but we'd effectively made a defensive semicircle to ward off the worst of it.
"Well that shit came out of nowhere," I groused, rubbing my arms.
Varric said bitterly. "This is why I like the Free Marches. At least when we have a snow storm, nature warns you first."
"It is not a storm," Cassandra said with her shoulders hunched as she clutched at the collar to her coat. "This is a snow squall. It will die down in a few moments, and we will be able to move on."
"Extremely unpleasant," Solas grumbled and began blowing into his hands.
Gently I stroked my horse's nose, murmuring to him what a good boy he was. The horse Dennett gave me nuzzled into my hand and took the offered bit of carrot I had left in my pocket. Around us, the snow fell, and while some of it made it past our makeshift barrier, a good deal of it seemed to be stopped by it. Around fifteen to twenty minutes of howling winds beating against the hanging blankets, the squall finally decided it had enough of tormenting us and moved on. We could practically watch the wall of wind and snow sweeping up the mountain path ahead.
Kind of wished my cell phone worked here so that I could warn Emma to tell the others. Another few minutes passed as we took down and untied the blankets. They were covered in sheets of ice and snow. We folded them ice side down and bundled them together with a bit more twine. They wouldn't thaw in this cold.
The snow began to fall in big, fat flakes that settled soundlessly around us. The next two hours to Haven through the Frostbacks were nearly uneventful. Aside from the occasional snow fox or bunny having the poo scared out of them when they saw us, nothing else crossed our path.
We arrived at Haven snow covered, cold and ready for a hot meal. I climbed off my horse, whom I'd decided to name Bilbo. Yeah, I caught up on The Hobbit movies while I was back on Earth. They did not disappoint.
The world was quiet, soldiers either having retired to their tents or gone for a meal to warm up. A handful of people were out and about, but they were either rushing back to where their tent was, to their cabin, to the chantry or to the tavern.
Ugh, I shouldn't have said the world was quiet. As soon as I reached the top of the second set of stairs, I could hear the arguing from the chantry. Unbelievable. The handful of templars that followed Cullen here and the mages that joined voluntarily were at each other's throats.
So not in the mood for this.
Thankfully, Cullen got between them before I did. "Enough," he pushed the two ring leaders apart, holding them at arm's length.
"Knight captain?" Someone, a templar I think, said.
"That is not my title." He nearly shouted it. "We are not templars any longer. We are all part of the Inquisition."
Like a black cloud of flies, in swept Chancellor Roderick. "And what does that mean exactly?" He said with that voice that kind of made me want to smack him.
"Back already chancellor? Haven't you done enough?" Cullen looked like he was trying to mind his temper - and failing.
Good to know the chancellor didn't just get on my last nerve.
"I'm curious Commander," he practically sneered as he spoke Cullen's title, "as to how your Inquisition and its 'Herald' will restore order as you've promised." He was grandstanding to the crowd. What an absolute dick.
Obstinately rude people make me all kinds of punchy.
"Of course you are," Cullen replied sounding both annoyed and tired. He walked forward, past the Chancellor and motioned to the crowd, "Back to your duties, all of you."
They began to disperse, a few recognized me and moved away quickly. Cullen, looking out at the dissipating crowd, spotted me. He glanced to the Chancellor still bristling a foot or two from him. "Elyria," Cullen nodded at me.
"Nice work Commander," I said.
"The mages and templars were already at war. Now they're blaming each other for the Divine's death."
"Which is why," Chancellor Roderick inserted himself rudely into our conversation, "we require a proper authority to guide them back to order."
"Who, you?" Cullen scoffed. "Random clerics who weren't important enough to be at the conclave?"
"The rebel Inquisition and its so-called Herald of Andraste?" The Chancellor shot back, "I think not." He had at least five inches on me, maybe more with the boot heel. He glared down at me with what came off as anger and distrust.
In return, I gave him my most banal smile and said quickly, "A sphincter says what?"
His brow furrowed, mouth partly open with confusion. "What?"
With a little smile, I patted his shoulder and tipped my head at Cullen. Cullen, in turn, gave the Chancellor one hard, angry glare and joined me in the short walk to the chantry doors.
"He's like a stink on your boots that you can't get rid of," Cullen muttered to me in frustration.
I covered my mouth to stop my snort in response.
He had the grace to flush a little. "Forgive me, I meant-"
I patted his shoulder. "I know what you meant. He's a pain in the arse that just doesn't quit."
The tenseness in his shoulders eased a bit. "But he is a good indicator of what you'll face in Val Royeaux."
I rolled my shoulders and headed into the chantry, calling back, "You know me, Cullen, when do I ever take shit from anyone?"
"Good point."
The candles flickered with the breeze coming through the door as I walked in. A sister (maybe aspirant?) prayed with Mother Giselle by the door to Josephine's room. I came to a full stop before the Mother, bowing my head to her in respect.
"Greetings, Herald of Andraste." Mother Giselle said. "How fares your quest to seal the breach?"
I brought up my left hand and opened it. A faint green glow emanated from the crack across the palm. "Slow and steady at the moment Mother."
She took my hand in hers, and like Emma had, gently maneuvered the skin around the mark to examine it closely. Then, unlike others, she placed her other hand over my palm and said a soft prayer. "A task such as this should not be placed on one so young. It is good you will not carry this burden alone." She released my hand and took a few steps toward the center of the chantry, her gentle, steady voice seemed to fill the area. "We remember Andraste, but Andraste did not carry the Chant of Light alone. She had generals, advisors...even her husband, for a time."
Mother Giselle turned back to me, rejoined me by the pillar. "Do everything within your power...but remember those who stand with you would help you."
"I'll remember Mother, thank you." I bowed to her once more and moved on toward the war room. Leliana and Josephine were already there, their heads together as they spoke quietly. The term thick as thieves came to mind. Both of them looked up at my entrance.
"Herald," Josephine inclined her head.
"Elyria," Leliana said at the same time.
There were new metal pieces on the map, one in the Hinterlands, one near Haven, one on top of that smaller lake just off to the right of Lake Calenhad, and one down near the Korcari Wilds. I grabbed an unused one from the box at the edge of the map and held it up for a better look. Yep, tiny Inquisition symbols. The little triangular piece over the Hinterlands was a large horned owl.
The door behind me opened again, this time Cassandra joined us followed by Cullen.
"Who took up Chancellor intervention duty?" I asked him as he walked around the table.
"Lysette has him for now."
Deep breath. Here we go. "Alright." I put the Inquisition symbol on the map near the owl piece. "Farmer Dennet won't work with us until we get watchtowers built here and here."
After the council and I collectively agreed that going to Val Royeaux was the main plan, Cullen and I were deep in conversation about our ideas for what good the Inquisition at large could do for Thedas. He was so passionate, I saw where a woman could fall for him. He'd mellowed, grown and was absolutely not that shitting himself, reactive boy he was ten years ago.
Jesus. That was ten years ago. Christ I feel old.
We were back by the training grounds going over training for the soldiers when in the peripheral of my vision, I saw people walking in the snow. I dismissed it at first as some of the men returning from scouting or patrols. Something about one of them caught my eye. Maybe it was the shape of his shoulders or the way he spoke to one of the soldiers stopping him. I fully turned my attention to him and took in a sharp breath.
Alistair pulled his hood back looking for all the world like and old man. His movements reminded me of someone who was bone tired. I missed whatever it was Cullen said to me and started walking. Alistair hadn't seen me yet. His beard was unkempt, his eyes had the deepest darkest circles I'd ever seen on anyone. His eyes traveled over the groups of soldiers training, the tents and then, his gaze met mine.
Ten steps for him, twelve for me, we met in the middle. He threw his arms around me and I threw mine around him. He kissed the top of my head and hugged me tight. I hugged him back just as tightly and didn't bother fighting the tears.
"Sorry," I murmured against his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
"Maker's breath Ellie," he said into my hair, "where the hell have you been?"
I started crying in earnest, big fat tears down my face. If this had been an anime, there would have been puddles at my feet. "I didn't mean to leave. I didn't, I promise."
I was more than aware we were creating a scene. I didn't care. My best friend held on to me just as tight as I held on to him and for the first time since I got back to Thedas, I felt alright. Like maybe things would be okay.
"You smell awful," I told him after blubbering like a newborn baby.
"We've been walking for nearly two weeks," he replied with a small laugh.
I drew back a bit, reaching up and drew his face down to get a proper look at him. The beard hid some of the gauntness, but not the tiredness. I had no other way to describe it. He looked like he needed a fifty-year nap and a decent razor. "You look awful too. What's wrong with you? Didn't you sleep at all on the way here?"
His eyes went off to the side, avoiding my gaze. "Ellie, don't...let's just...just...don't."
"And who is we?" I said pulling back further to take another look.
Another person in a hooded coat. A familiar, black, hooded coat. I remember picking that coat up after paying the seamstress for the commission. She overcharged me, but I hadn't cared at the time. He must have been freezing. That coat was made to battle Kirkwall's cold, not the cold down here in Ferelden.
"Fenris?" My heart jumped into my throat and began pounding like horses at Belmont. Oh. Oh my god. Slowly I released Alistair and he let me go.
"He's hearing the calling," Fenris told me, removing his hood. His face was a mask of cool indifference. "He has not been sleeping."
It didn't work. The ashes didn't work on him. On the blight slowly poisoning him. I took Alistair's face in my hands again, gaunt and worn and tired as it was. "We've got a pretty good alchemist here, I'll ask him to give you something to help with the sleep. Let's see him and get you into bed, huh?"
He tried to grin at me, I could see it but it fell short of his usual boyish charm. "Is that an invitation?"
"Haha, very funny." I took his hand in mine, "Join us?" I said to Fenris.
He maintained the cool expression as he watched us, me. Then his head bobbed once.
"Commander," I called to Cullen, "if you have a moment, please ask Josephine to have the desk in my cabin removed, and a cot or bed added. I'll be with the alchemist."
"Of course," Cullen immediately waved over a soldier no doubt relaying my request and sending the man running to the chantry. The soldier passed us as we made our way.
"This is Haven now?" Alistair asked as I lead them through the lower part of the town. "Looks…" he searched for a word, "cleaner."
"No bodies in the closets."
We both laughed.
"Around two hundred people and growing as we recruit," I said. "Bringing Mother Giselle here gave us more credibility with the Chantry, and we're building contacts."
We reached the second tier of Haven. "Turn right here, up the next set of steps. His cabin is the one at the very end."
"Who's in charge here?" Alistair asked.
"Herald," one of the soldiers saluted me as he passed.
I felt the heat creep up my neck to my face.
"Did he just call you-"
"Later. Alchemist first and if you're up for it, a bath, some food, and a night of sound sleep."
Alistair stopped. He stopped walking and turned toward me and gave me one good, hard, somewhat bewildered look in the fire light of a nearby torch. "Ellie, are you the Herald of Andraste?"
I pulled the glove off my left hand. "Technically, it isn't just me in charge. Cassandra, Cullen, and Leliana are in charge as well. I'm the face, they're the muscle, brains, and wits. We work together."
Alistair took my left hand in his bigger ones and pulled open my curled fingers. "Ellie," he didn't touch the line of green crossing my palm, but he didn't let my hand go. "You're not even Andrastean."
I shrugged then slowly extracted my hand from his and pulled my glove back on, then started walking again. "Come on. The minute the sun sets the temperature drops about ten degrees and I'm not a fan of how cold it gets up here in the mountains."
Less than a moment after I knocked, the door opened. "Herald, what can I do for you?"
"Sorry to disturb you Adan, but a friend of mine is in need of a little medicinal help to sleep. Could you give me something?"
He looked past me, at Alistair and Fenris. "Well, yes, yes of course. Of course. Come in."
While Adan spoke with Alistair, I moved off to the side, several feet from Fenris who was still giving me that stony silence. "On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most pissed off you've ever been in your life, and one being kind of angry but some groveling might work it off, how angry with me are you?"
He was silent. Completely silent. If I hadn't seen him breathe I would have thought he was a beautiful life like statue.
"I'll take that as an eleven," I whispered my chest clenching, and my heart sore. I only had myself to blame for my own ignorance.
"No," he said finally.
"Nine maybe?"
"No," he repeated. Fenris pinned me with those dark green eyes of his and said, "I don't care about you."
The agony I was in when I got the mark didn't compare to that moment. Nothing I ever felt before or after compared to what those words did to me. I… shattered.
My heart, my soul and everything else. My throat closed and my eyes burned, and for what felt like forever I couldn't breathe. I wanted to say I was sorry. I wanted to get the words out but I couldn't fathom anything beyond the hollow way he said it.
Fenris turned his attention away from me to watch Alistair talk with Adan. "I will find a tent of my own," he said while Adan began rummaging through supplies. "I won't be staying." I heard the unspoken words 'with you' at the end of that sentence.
"Uh," my throat seized and I coughed, rubbing it, "I can ask Cullen or Josephine to find you a spot. " I heard the scratchy croak in my voice.
"Getting sick Herald?" Adan asked, breaking the tension with a concerned tone.
"No," and I heard the croak again. I swallowed to clear my throat. "Just a lot today, you know. With the trip back from the Hinterlands and prepping for the trip to Val Royeaux."
Alistair's eyes left the scribbled instructions Adan had given him. "You're leaving? El, we just got here."
We. As if I could forget or ignore the stone cold silent elf six feet from my left. "No rest for the wicked," I told him. I pulled the door to the cabin open. "Thank you, Adan. Those healing pots will be ready in two days?"
"I might need a little more Elfroot, but there's plenty around."
No kidding. All I had to do was walk behind his cabin. The damn plant grew like a weed. "I'll bring you more in the morning." On the walk over to the chantry, "We'll need to find Fenris a place to sleep."
"Why?" Alistair said, either completely oblivious or well...no. Knowing, him he was completely oblivious. He gave a very pointed look at Fenris, narrowed his eyes and said, "why?"
Fenris' tattoos glowed slightly. "If you wish to stay with her," he said the word her, "then stay. That is your choice."
"Oh for the love of…" Alistair said as Fenris stalked past us both toward the chantry doors. "He's angry Ellie. Please don't take it to heart. When you disappeared, he didn't take it well."
I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't. My chest ached, my throat was raw and my eyes burned. "I didn't mean to leave."
"I know," he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me against his side. "I tried to tell everyone you'd come back, but the years passed and…" he shrugged as we walked. "Everyone started to give up hope. Six and a half years is a long time."
I'd been back on Earth for a little less than seven months and lost nearly seven years with my friends here. "You seem to be taking it well." I put one of my arms around him and squeezed. There was a little more meat there than I was used to. Gently I poked his belly. "You put on weight."
"So did you!" He pushed my hand away and rubbed the spot I poked him. "I was upset, but I know you. You would never leave on purpose without saying something. I've seen those headaches you get when whatever is it tries to pull you away. You fight and then you're in pain. I knew eventually, no matter how strong willed you are Ellie, that you might lose the fight."
Okay, see, that, that made me cry. I burst out into tears again, sobbing like an infant. He pulled me close and let me ruin the front of his coat again. Alistair was going to have a big old tear stain on the leather later. Distantly my brain made notes about getting Harritt to make him a better one, one that would bring out the green in his eyes and compliment the reddish hues in his hair and beard. If he chose to keep the beard. I was kind of for it if he got it under control.
"Alistair?" A distinctly familiar voice asked in what sounded like disbelief. Leliana stood a handful of feet outside her tent, staring at him like he was the ghost of Christmas past.
He squinted at her, "Leliana?" He looked down at me and back at her, "You said...you said her name before. I thought I didn't hear you properly." Alistair took a few steps toward her and her toward him. They hugged.
"You stink," she said without pulling away from him.
He chuckled, "Ellie told me. She said I had to bathe."
She snickered, "You? Bathe? Maker forbid."
Despite the awful pain in my heart, I felt a little warm and fuzzy watching them. Technically, at least in the regular game, the two of them met in the DLC if she became Divine and he was king.
We would never get all our friends back here to play a role in this fight. My chest ached a little remembering Wynne. We would, however, get enough of our little blight-fighting troupe together to fight back against the encroaching darkness.
An hour later I had three soups, a loaf of oat bread cut into thirds with sliced cheese and three, small, apples on the table in the front room of the cabin. The barmaid was kind enough to bring them to me while Alistair washed off the worst of the grime. I gave him his privacy by hanging a blanket to block the view of the bedroom and thereby the wooden tub.
Emma sat at the table across from me, reading a book on her Kindle.
A soft, "Maker's breath!" came from the other room.
She looked up. "That's a curse here?"
I paused in pulling apart my bread, "What is?"
With air quotes, "Maker's breath."
"Not really. More of an exclamation, like saying, Jesus Christ. They curse is just like the average American with some British curse words sprinkled in."
"Alistair sounds British."
"Ferelden common accent. Pretty much everyone here sounds like some form of British."
He poked his head out, "I heard my name. Ellie, are you telling stories about me?"
"Oh yeah, absolutely. This one time, Em, we're in a bar in Orzammar and the barmaid starts-"
"El, not that one!"
I reached out to pinch his cheek. He batted me away with a scowl. "Touching his baby face and telling him she's never had a gray warden. Biblically had. Would he like to wait around until she was off work. This one turns bright red, chokes on his beer and ends up spitting up all over her."
To his credit, Alistair managed to only turn a mild pink. "I hate you."
"Lies. Are you done in there?"
He glowered at me and then ducked back behind the makeshift curtain.
"Where is he going to sleep?" Emma asked in a low whisper. "There are only two beds."
"With me," I told her. "We're used to it. He's the big spoon, I'm the little spoon. He gets the right side of the bed, I get the left."
She stared at me like I had two heads. "Are you serious? He's like, six one at least two hundred pounds. Both of you won't fit in that tiny bed."
If she only knew. "We'll be fine Ems."
Skeptically she tapped a few times on her kindle. "Fine. What do you want to watch with dinner? I have a bunch of movies, nearly all of Shameless and the whole first season of One Punch Man."
"No movies, the last thing we need is him freaking out over moving pictures. Have any classical music on your phone?"
"Uh, no grandma."
"No need for snark madam." I took my phone from where it had been attached to a solar charger and brought up my music app. Years in Thedas gave me an appreciation for all kinds of classical. Moonlight Sonata? No, too depressing. Sheherazad? The violins get loud no matter what volume. Ooo yes, E.S. Posthumus' Nara, and then Bond's Duel followed by Florence and the Machine's Drumming Song.
Alistair returned, clothed in a plain cream-colored woven shirt, dark, probably black pants, and clean shaven.
"There he is, there's the man I know. I thought you got lost under all that facial fur."
He gave me the briefest of scowls, then smiled at Emma. "Ellie tells me you are Emma, the other best friend."
Uh oh. I could practically see Emma bristle being referred to as the other friend. "I'm the original."
Alistair, realizing he'd gotten her angry, flushed red. "Maker, I just put my foot in my mouth."
"Yeah, big time." I sipped my tea. Ooo, peppermint. That's nice.
He shook his head, the shaggy bits of his longer hair falling around his face and into his eyes. "I'm sorry, let me try again," he stuck out a hand to her. "Hello, I'm Alistair, it's good to finally meet you."
She shook his hand. "Emma, and yeah, same."
He went to sit down on the chair to my left, Emma being on my right when his brow creased and he paused. He slid the chair out and sat down a half second later.
"Are you hearing it?" I asked softly.
"I always hear it." He said sadly. "When I'm fighting I can almost ignore it, and sleeping…" Alistair shook his head again. "I don't always sleep and when I do I never all the way through the night."
"What did Adan say?"
"He said a mouthful every night of a sleeping aid should help. I'll need more of it to make the trip to Val Royeaux."
Emma sat up. "We're going to that big French city?"
"Orlesian." I corrected her. "Who said you were coming, Al?"
"I'm going with you. I was training to become a templar before I was a warden. I know how they work." He said it so matter-of-factly that I didn't have the heart to argue.
"Okay then. Ems, did you speak to Harritt about gear?"
"Hell yes. It was so weird having someone know the exact size of everything." She dunked a bit of her bread in the thick broth. "Harritt said it would be ready by Tuesday. I didn't know that they used the same week day names we do."
"They do, but the day names don't have the same meaning ours do." I told her, "Thedas doesn't have a weekend though."
"Wait, no weekend. Are you serious?"
"Completely."
Emma looked down at her open kindle and tossed it to the side. "Well, that app is useless now."
"Don't worry." Alistair told her. "It took Elyria a few weeks to figure it out."
I snorted, "A few weeks! He's being kind. It took me nearly three months." Even then I'd still have slip-ups.
Emma groaned in response.
Eventually, the chantry bells rang nine times. I yawned and grabbed my phone to turn off the music. "We should hit the hay if we're going to get you geared for Val Royeaux Al."
He grimaced at me. "Ellie, are you certain that you want to risk it?"
"No arguments. Take some of that sleeping draught and let's get to bed."
Emma went to the other bed, delivered a few hours ago. She put her sleeping bag on top and curled up tight, turning her back to us. Alistair took the sleeping draught off the side of the table by the side of the bed. He tipped some of into his mouth and swallowed making a face.
"That's disgusting."
"Medicine usually is." I snickered, draping my unzipped sleeping bag out so that it formed a thick blanket.
He hesitated. "I don't know if this is going to work Ellie."
"How many times have you faced my night terrors?"
Alistair reached out and grabbed my hand. "This isn't a nightmare you can talk me down from. This is the Calling."
"You're the little spoon tonight." I climbed into bed and faced out toward the window. "Come on." He slid beneath the sleeping bag blanket, facing out as well. I wrapped an arm around his side and chest. "Breathe Al, and think about cute little mabari puppies playing."
He tried to chuckle, but it sounded weary. "They love to wrestle right from birth. Those," he yawned, "wrinkled little faces."
"Need me to sing to you?"
"That song about stars?" He asked sleepily.
"Sure." I gently rubbed his mid-back with the other hand. Holy shit the knots in his muscles! "Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, Never let it fade away. Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, Save it for a rainy day." By the time I reached the second stanza and I was singing softly about a pocketful of starlight, he was completely out.
I awoke the next morning to a heavy something weighing me down. It took a second for my brain to come to, and realize that it was Alistair. He was still dead to the world. At some point in the night, we rearranged ourselves into the old position of me the little spoon, him as big spoon. His nose wrinkled in his sleep, and he made a snuffling sound like a dog. It almost made me laugh.
There was no way I was going to reach my phone on the night table to see what time it was, and I hadn't heard any bells to indicate the time. I made a move to try to get out from under his weight and failed. The boy was seriously heavy. Gently I lifted his arm and he grumbled, eyes fluttering.
Alistair's eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times. His brow creased as he looked at me. "Why does your hair look purple?" His hand came up between us and took a lock of my hair, bringing it closer to his face for inspection. "Purple and green."
"See you really were exhausted last night or you would have noticed that earlier." Gently I freeded my hair.
He yawned and sat up, then moved out from under the blankets. "I haven't slept through the night in weeks."
"Feel better?" I asked as I crawled across the bed and got out.
"Much." He stood up and stretched. "Are we leaving for Val Royeaux today?"
"We are not going anywhere today. You need better gear. Don't for one second think that I didn't see you wearing that crap you probably got off some vendor in Denerim."
"Hey, I got those off of that dwarven guy in the Denerim central market." He told me with a bit of a pout. "What's his name? The one you were always nice to."
"Gorim." I was nice to him because I knew his best friend had been framed for patricide by the current king of Orzammar. "And when is the last time you changed those out?" I ask skeptically and went for one of my bags. "Pick one, strawberry or blueberry."
"Blueberry," he told me as he began twisting and turning to work out any kinks in his back.
I finished digging around and pulled out a box of oatmeal squares. I didn't want porridge again. One can only eat so much of that stuff. I tossed him two. "Brush your teeth after those."
He looked down at the packages. "What is this?"
"Food."
"What is this stuff around it?"
"Plastic and foil to keep it fresh." I tore mine open as an example and bit into it. My mouth watered at the vitamin C from the internal strawberry jam.
He turned one over, then tore his open as well. He bit it and his eyes went wide. "There's fruit in this!" Alistair exclaimed around a mouth full of oatmeal and blueberries.
I bit mine again in response. "Good, right?"
"Where did you get these?" He said after he'd devoured the second one.
"Back in the other place." I took the wrappers from him and put them in my bag. "I've got fruit leathers too, some granola bars that have nuts and honey, and I think I brought dried cranberries. There's some beef jerky in here too."
The door to the cabin opened and Emma walked in, with Varric in tow. "Look who I found."
Uh huh. Sure. She found him. Twenty gold he'd been skulking around the cabin waiting for an excuse to come in.
"I heard there were new additions to the Inquisition." Varric looked Alistair up and down. "Cheesy, you look worse than you did after Donnic's bachelor party."
Alistair snorted at him. "Good to see you too."
They did that manly handshake thing, with nodding at each other and bullshitting about stuff I obviously hadn't been present for.
Emma brought me a wooden mug with what smelled like tea. "Peppermint again."
"Sweet humanity," I sipped it. Still pretty hot considering how cold it was outside. "Thanks, Ems."
"I checked with Harritt, he said my gear was simple so I'd have it later today. He told me yours is ready to go."
"That's good."
She crouched down and made like she was arranging the bags. "Varric wasn't alone outside. I'm guessing the tall elven guy with the white hair is Fenris?"
My heart stuttered. I sipped my tea and tried to school my face into nonchalance. "That's him. Tall, good looking and perpetually brooding."
"He looks pissed." She whispered to me. "I don't know what they were talking about, but his body language was about a second from shouting."
"He's mad at me for leaving," I told her softly, watching to make sure Varric was too distracted to hear us.
"But you didn't do it on purpose," Emma exclaimed, and there went our quiet conversation.
"Broody just enjoys being pissed off," Varric said. "He'll calm down once he has a few days to cool off."
I downed my tea silently. It hadn't cooled off and my tongue burned. A few days. He needed a few days. Maybe once we were back from Val Royeaux he'd be calm enough to hear me out, but that was about two weeks and two days from Thursday.
Forces versus scouts versus diplomatic ties. My head hurt. I rubbed my forehead and went over missives on the Inquisition's map one more time. I'd left my kindle with the downloaded Dragon Age Inquisition wikipedia pages hooked up to one of the solar charges back in my cabin. Didn't matter how much research I did, making these decisions was hard enough.
"Your scouts," I said to Leliana.
"Consider it done." She said to me in return.
"Way too formal." I told her while moving on to the next missive.
"Should I not be formal with the Herald of Andraste?" Leliana asked quite seriously. If I hadn't known her better I might have thought she was serious. Those little wrinkles around her eyes told me otherwise.
I pointed one finger at her over the table. "Keep going. See what stories I decide to tell around the campfire. Maybe one about a certain redhead and Dwarven ale?"
Her ears and cheeks pinked immediately. "You wouldn't dare."
"Try me."
"That is a story I would like to hear." Josephine said with a note of interest. "Leliana is not quite so forthcoming with stories about her time during the Blight."
I smiled at her. "Oh this is pre-Blight, but I'm happy to share."
"We shall talk later, Herald." Josephine said, making a note on her portable writing table.
"One last request." Cullen set a missive down on the map. "It seems some soldiers have gone missing."
I took the paper.
"Other soldiers are volunteering to search for the lost comrades." Cullen added after I lowered the paper. "They won't rest until they've found them."
The quest where I get to recruit the Avvar. Interesting. "Cullen, your forces if you please."
"As you wish, Herald."
No instantaneous completed missions here people. "I'd hope our people will be found by the time we return from Val Royeaux."
"With all likelihood," Cullen agreed.
"The Storm Coast." I tapped the pyramid figure placed to the north. "Leliana, your people will investigate after the other mission?"
"Of course." She said with a nod.
"If there is any other new business to discuss?" I asked.
"I have nothing specific." Leliana said.
"Nothing." Cassandra agreed.
"If you have a moment, Herald, I would speak to you." Josephine told me as the others began to filter out.
I followed her to her office. "What's so hush you couldn't tell me about it in there?"
She walked around her desk, unlocked then opened a drawer and drew out a letter. "Leave us," she directed to the research assistant. The mage nodded and curtsied then left, closing the door behind her.
"Josephine," I said a little bit nervous. "I don't think I've ever seen you so serious."
"I did not think you would want an audience for this." She held out the letter to me, seal side up. "The seal of the King Consort to the Queen of Ferelden."
If someone had asked me to list all the things I expected when I chose to come back to Thedas, seeing that letter wasn't one of them. Ever hearing from Aedan again wasn't even on that list. I stood there staring at the letter for a good ten seconds before. "I take it you know?"
"Your manuscript was with Varric when he was apprehended. I may have perused it."
Gingerly, afraid it might turn to spiders in my hand, I took the letter. "You didn't break the seal."
"I would not break your confidence." She stood back from the chair behind her desk. "Would you prefer to sit and read it?"
I turned the letter over in my hands and examined the writing. He wrote my name out with painstakingly beautiful script. His hands were always elegant, long fingered and strong.
My brain brought back the memory of teaching Fenris to write out my name after I taught him to write his. His fingers were long too, dwarfing mine. Dark skinned fingers intertwined with mine as he asked me to show him how to write both. We practiced both for an hour. The next week he sent me a letter from some trip he'd taken with Hawke. He told me he missed our lessons.
I loved Fenris even if he hated me now. I hadn't cared about Aedan in years. The heartbreak he caused me was a distant memory. Shaking my head, I put the letter over the candle flame on her desk.
As a diplomat, as someone who was part of the great game in Orlais, Josephine had been training for years to school her face into the appropriate responses. She watched me burn the letter with a note of satisfaction written across her features.
The fire devoured the letter, the wax seal bubbling at the edges. "I'm surprised you didn't tell Leliana."
Josephine let out a little amused laugh. "Had I, the Queen would be a widow by sunset." She held out a small metal tray to me to deposit the smoking remains of the letter. Only a bit of parchment remained around the melting seal. "Shall I respond?"
"Please inform the King Consort that if he ever sends me a private letter again, I will hand deliver it to his wife."
"With pleasure, Herald."
"And Josephine?"
"Yes, Herald?"
"I'd like my manuscript back."
"Of course Herald."
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