Hello all. Hope you're all at home, safe, healthy, and bored as I am. Today I have to run into the office for about 3-4 hours. Wish me luck.

I know it has been a while. I'm sorry!

Also, nonny, thanks for the idea. That wasn't the way this was going, but hell if that didn't make me Oh, yes, good idea.

This chapter dedicated to Emma's real life counterpart. She really is a nurse.

Playlist:

Panic! At the Disco - The Good The Bad and The Dirty

5SOS - Young Blood

Post Malone ft. Ozzy Osbourne & Travis Scott - Take What You Want

Ozzy Osbourne - Under the Gravestone

The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black

Skillet - Feel Invincible

Fall Out Ball - The Phoenix

Chapter 14:

Bloody stupid golems. Bloody stupid snow. Bloody stupid fires too. They couldn't have a big fire, the scout said. Too easy to spot the scout said. Hide it behind a rock the scout said. No bigger than embers the scout said.

Well the golem was a big rock wasn't she! Standing there still as anything, watching the world from their spot on the ridge. Fuckin' creepy.

Sera was sure the golem was a she. Talking 'bout all the pretty green and blue crystals and do they make her look fat. Never heard such whining and snippery before the last three days! Pulling her coat tighter around her shoulders and chest, sticking her long arms and fingers out over the embers. They were bloody well hidden behind an outcropping, the least she could do is get warm but nooooo-

SNAP!

The golem's head turned toward the sound and Sera knocked an arrow. Most they'd seen up here were some fennics, a few squirrels who went after the scraps that Sera tossed away, and a lone snow rabbit hopping past. None of them were big enough to crack a branch. Stealthily, Sera sidled up to the tree they were taking cover under and peeked around.

The Heraldy lady, Elyria - funny and pretty too bad she liked men - gave her an order. Watch the golem's back, protect the golem. Don't be a hero. No problem there. Never was very heroic. Slipping through the shadows from one tree to another boulder and a large bush, Sera made her way closer to where the snap was. The snow barely made a sound under her boots.

One, two, three, and if she craned her neck a bit, there were four and five. Too many for the two of them. Shale looked big enough to smash a man's face in, but five, even with Sera's help, might be too much. Though…

The black clad figures - why do bad guys always wear black? - talked in what sounded like Tevinter. Which was weird. Most people in Tevinter spoke trade tongue. Just made everything easier in the long run. Everyone understood you if you spoke in common.

Sera listened for a bit. She didn't know many words in Tevinter, but she did know enough to ask where the toilet was, where the bar was, and who gets paid what and when. She understood the words set up, stay and camp.

Who said she never learned anything?

They'd be much easier to get rid of if they were all sleeping. Knife to the neck not an arrow to the face. Yeah. Sera silently slipping through shadows returned to the golem and held her finger up against her lips. The golem, Shale - right, right Shale - eyed her curiously.

Shale knew the meaning of putting one's finger to one's lips. One must be silent. Shale, unable to convey through facial expressions that she did in fact understand, nodded and lowered her voice - which was already quite low and gravely - "Has the rambunctious archer found something?"

Sera's face screwed up immediately. She felt it. "Rambunctious? Who the hell are you-" her eyes narrowed trying to see if she could pick up any hint of sarcasm from the golem. She couldn't. Bloody stupid golems. "Shhh. We've got Tevinters about three hundred feet from here. They're gonna make camp. Can you be quiet and move without getting all stompy?"

If it was at all possible, Shale would have raised her eyebrows. As she lacked an eyebrow ridge to do so, she instead gave the elf one quick shake of her head.

"Damn," Sera grumbled quietly. "Can't move you, can't avoid them if they patrol." She turned around surveying their tiny camp. Wait. Golems looked like large bits of rock, yeah? So, so, what if…? Yeah. Yeah. "Golem thingy. You want to sit on the fire and make yourself a big rock while I run back to Haven? It's dark, they won't notice you if it's dark, right? Just another boulder, right? Who could tell until sunrise, right? Right. Get down, I'll go. You stay."

"Desist yammering or I will crush it." Shale replied tersly. Mortals. Squishy, talking, mortals. She lumbered, not quietly as she was incapable of moving silently, slowly so as not to disturb much around them to the dying fire. With one foul glance at the elf, Shale put out the fire by simply settling on it, curling in on herself and muttering. "If it does not return by morning, I shall be very annoyed."

"Did you just call me it?" Sera asked, again unable to tell if she - pretty sure Shale's a girl if a bitchy one - was being sarcastic or rude.

The eyes of the golem seemed to roll before closing and her head bowing into her knees. Fucking scary right. That golem looked like a big damn rock.

His eyes, those eyes I love, were hollow and tired with pain. I can only imagine how much pain he's in. There is red lyrium in his scars. There is red lyrium in his scars. Tiny ridgid bumps of crystals growing out of his skin. No. No. This isn't happening. This can't be happening. The silver white glow of the tattoos was ten times as bright once all of those rags were off in favor of armor. Bright red-orange, like some kind of horrible lightshow.

I'm going to be sick.

No, El. You hold your shit together because he's about ten seconds from killing Dorian just for being a magister. Dorian with his big mouth talking about fixing this, just making Fenris more, and more angry. I could see the glow of the lyrium under Fenris' skin start to shine brightly.

"Dorian," I snapped at the mage. "Knock it off." I got between them, breaking Fenris' line of sight. "If you don't want this to become permanent," I said to the room in general, "we need Dorian alive. Do you all understand?"

Fenris' movements were slower than those of the elf I left behind. He moved like an older man, stiffly with the occasional flex of the hands or arm. He gathered his weapons and donned his armor without a single word to me or anyone else.

Leliana wordlessly helped him. Since when were they friendly? Since I supposedly died I suppose.

That nagging part of my mind returns to the empty cell. There is supposed to be an elf in there praying to Andraste. "Where is Alistair?" "Alistair." I said his name like I was choking. Maybe because my subconscious knew something my conscious mind was refusing to admit. No one would meet my gaze. My heartbeat started to bump double time. "Where," I repeated slowly, "is Alistair?"

"He was executed." Fenris' voice was hollow, "after we were captured."

"As an example," Leliana continued, "of what happens to those that stand against them. He raised a rebellion in your name. He tried to lead, but," she spared me a glance from under a drooping, scarred eyelid, "you know Alistair."

I couldn't breathe. Not a single molecule of air entered or exited my lungs. No. No. No. Absolutely not. He can't be. I brought him with me to keep an eye on him and…and he died anyway. Alistair...my goofy, lovable teddy bear of a best friend. Someone I loved more than anything. There wasn't anything in this world or the other that compared to knowing he died fighting my battle. I didn't even know I was crying until something wet slid its way off my chin to the floor.

Dorian began on his speech and I didn't have the heart to stop him.

I didn't have a heart at all. My lungs still wouldn't draw in breath and my chest felt agonizingly hollow. Alistair. My buddy. My best friend. The guy who knew more about me than anyone in two worlds…was gone.

No. This day wasn't set in stone. We had to move and reset the timeline. I'll break the goddamn universe if I have to. "We need to go." I managed with a rasp.

Leliana, this cold, scarred, version of the woman I knew took my left forearm in hers. "Anger is stronger than any pain."

I hoped she was right. I needed her to be right.

The rest of it was a blur until we reached the room right before the massive rift. I'd been going through the motions, taking out my sadness and pain on unwitting Venatori and demons.

"He loved you." Fenris said it softly to me as we paused and Dorian spoke once more to the group at large. "He may have courted other women. His eyes never left you."

I blinked, tears forming, "Don't tell me that. Don't do that. Don't Fenris."

"It is something you should know. I should have stood aside. I suspected and stayed at Haven anyway. Because I loved you too." He went past me to the door and pushed it open.

I too entered the room and went after the first bastard I saw. It took a few minutes, and this was the first rift I'd run into that didn't close after the second round of spawning demons. My wrist stung when it finally closed.

I took the last piece of the puzzle from the rift and went to the door. I opened it and there were Alexius and his possessed son.

They arrived at Therinfal Redoubt the morning after Elyria was taken forward in time. Though none of them knew that until much later. The skies were a clear cheery blue, the sun was bright and golden shining down on them with warmth that belied the cold of the coming winter. From perches in trees the birds chirped happily at them.

Their morning meal had been pleasant if a bit bland. Porridge again.

Things, Bull thought, looked too nice to be so bad.

Cassandra took the lead, because, after all, she was still a part of the Templar Order. "Agents of the Inquisition-"

The templars at the gates almost sagged with relief, sharing a glance between themselves in silent communication. "Ser Barris," one of them said, "said you would come. The Lord Commander has been awaiting your arrival."

It was at this point, Fenris noted, that Varric would have turned to Elyria and Elyria would have turned to the dwarf and their conversation would have been as follows:

'So, trap?' Varric would have asked, adjusting Bianca on his back.

'Trap.' Elyria would have shrugged and stated with an unconcerned air.

'As long as we're all on the same page.' Varric would have replied with a wink.

At which point Alistair would have said, 'Are we really walking into a fortress with a trap waiting to spring?' He would have looked at all of them, sighed a long, loud sigh, followed by, 'Honestly, I think the lot of you like to court death.'

'Court?' Elyria would have laughed. 'I want to ask him to dance in the pale moonlight.'

The dwarf would have set up Bianca, Elyria would have pulled her blades. Then they would have all walked into the fire and somehow, despite everything, come out alive at the end. However, neither Elyria or Varric were here to state the obvious. Alistair was not here to be a voice of reason.

How, Fenris asked himself, did he manage to find (and fall in love with) a woman who walked herself into danger so very often? If he was going to be honest with himself, counting Varric, Hawke and Alistair among his friends, he seemed to be attracted to people who liked to walk into danger. This lot, he glanced around at the Qunari, the mage, and the Seeker, seemed no better.

Fenris opened his mouth to say something along the lines of this is a trap when:

"This is quite obviously a trap." Lady Vivienne took hold of her staff, using it as a walking stick if only as a pretense.

"Oh good. I thought I was the only one thinking that." Bull replied much too cheerily. He loosened the straps on his back for his axe.

The gates rolled upward. Collectively, they went in.

"Go," This future version of Fenris orders us. "Go, fix this."

Seeing him there, with Leliana scarred and ready to die, the courage finally came to me. "I love you."

He slowed, then, mid-step turned and crossed the handful of steps between us in a blink. He grabbed me hard, with one hand while the other went to the back of my neck and pulled me forward. Fenris' mouth crushed to mine in a violent clash of teeth and tongue. His scars burned against my skin and I didn't give a damn. I kissed him back just as hard.

"They are coming," Leliana warned.

Fenris broke the kiss, his forehead resting against mine, his tattoos burning hot against my skin, both of us catching our breath. "I have always loved you, even in anger. Tell me when you get back. Tell me even if I do not want to hear it. Fix this. Then fix us."

"I will, I promise."

"I am yours Elyria Duke, always." There is such a finality to him saying it. The first of Leliana's shots goes off as the doors began to breach.

Dorien pulled my arm as Fenris broke our embrace.

The elf I love turned, the lyrium scars lighting up a deep silver laced red. He roars at them in rage as Dorian's spell begins working, a portal that will put us back in our own time is forming while Fenris and Leliana are beginning to take arrows. I want to help them, but I know I can't. We can't.

This future had to be stopped before it cemented and became reality. I spared one small moment to watch Dorian work, to see the swirling blue, purple and white vortex opening. There was an awful sound, like a blade cutting something. I turned my attention back and Fenris was on the ground, a big, ugly sword in his chest. He wasn't moving and blood was pooling in a dark red puddle. I screamed his name as Leliana began to give way, her shots slowing as she took damage. There were arrows in her, in him, oh god.

And I could not move.

"It's open," Dorian told me with urgency, "we have to go."

With my heart breaking, and tears in my eyes, I turned and followed him through.

I apologize for how skippy this was but that was what was taking so long. I felt like I had to flesh more of this out. Only since I've been home for two and a half week straight (and thrown out about seven pages) that I realized this is fine as is.

I'll work on chapter fifteen after I stop into work today.