Playlist:

Hayley Kyoko - Demons

Jonas Brothers - What A Man Gotta Do

Wreckless Eric - Whole Wide World

Blue October - I Hope You're Happy

Chapter 19

The difficult part of acknowledging something isn't real is when you know for a damn fact it is real. The church, chantry rather, felt drafty despite the hundred or so candles used to light the main room. There were people in and out, people who looked as different from one another as humanly possible. Varying shades skin tone, hair color, eye color, with a range of accents. The red haired woman with the braids sounded French. The blonde man with the big fluffy coat was obviously some form of British. Several people had cockney accents and she'd heard at least one semi-Italian accent.

Viola shivered, rubbing the tops of her arms while she waited with Brandon and Emma for a place to sleep tonight. Her sister's cabin apparently was full for the night. With two guys. Who her little sister was possibly sleeping with.

Her mother's voice echoed in her ears, that girl (meaning Elyria at the time) doesn't do anything by half.

Finding a crack in the universe did feel exactly like something only Elyria could or would do.

Was this place real, though? It felt real. She felt the draft from wherever it was coming from and she felt the flame from a cluster of candles when she put one hand near them. She heard the shush of voices in other parts of the main hall. She vaguely listened to Emma talking to Brandon about this person or that person and heard Brandon say 'no fucking way' under his breath no less than three times. The two of them seemed to adapt to the reality that this was reality quickly.

Her brain, not so much. For her this couldn't be reality. This was a video-

Pop.

Unlike the split second Elyria took to pop out of Thedas the second time, there were two people near by to hear it. And it was quiet enough. It wasn't the attention drawing sound of a balloon popping or the threat of a gunshot. It was almost as quiet as a bb gun. Pop.

Viola had her fingers over the flame of a candle to warm up one second and the next, pop. Gone. Emma and Brandon had seen it. Viola hadn't faded the way Emma remembered Elyria fading.

From what she was told, the reason for that was a spell here in Thedas.

No. This was an instantaneous pop, and Viola wasn't there anymore.

Emma and Brandon's conversation ended mid sentence. She'd been telling him Varric really did sound like he garbled aged bourbon every morning before breakfast. The two of them looked at one another.

Brandon's forehead creased and a second later he winced from the headache. Emma grabbed him by his shoulders, "there's this thing called ham that tastes like despair."

He blinked at her, eyes red and tired. "Huh?"

"And there's a drink called A Night of Shame."

Frowning at her, head and neck aching from whatever the hell hit him, "so they know about that coyote ugly that tried to get your number?"

Flushing pink, "rude!"

It was kind of selfish keeping Brandon distracted from thinking about the same thing Viola had been thinking about. If she was honest, Emma didn't want to be alone. Sure she wasn't really alone with all the people who she had started to spend time with. Josie was happy to have help and there were a bunch of soldiers who were more than happy to hang out with her when they weren't working.

She was the Herald's best friend. Who didn't do much with the Inquisition. It was nice having someone else here who was just the Herald's friend. Who also was here but not Inquisition.

"So, who's the hottie with the bad fashion sense?" Brandon was not going to address the elephant in the room. The fact that Vi legitimately did not want to be here was pretty damn evident, but she popped out literally like two hours after getting here.

Like, for real, it was colder than a witch's tit, and the food kinda sucked (his bowl of stew sat half eaten to his left) and everyone had some level of b.o. going. Even El and Ems. But, like, El did just have sex. She said so.

With Fenris.

Like Fenris.

The Fenris.

He'd only watched El play Dragon Age two a few times, and he'd definitely played a bit of Origins because way back when he was figuring out his sexuality, he got to get romantic with a guy. No judgment. Either from El, Ems or the guy in question. Who he legit didn't remember the name of. But he remembered Fenris because one, Elyria squealed like a piglet when her character first got him to shag her, and she'd kept a pretty good mostly naked piece of fan art on her desktop of him for literal weeks.

"Dorian?" Emma replied with a whole lot of snark in her hushed tone. "He just came back from the Hinterlands with Elyria. Time shenanigans and some guy who made a deal with the devil."

Time shenanigans. She did not just downplay some guy bending time. "But not, like, the literal devil, right? Because I can handle the whole Thedas is a real thing, but if the lord of flies himself is gonna rain brimstone on this place, I am so out."

Emma rolled her eyes. "No, not really. I didn't get to the point where I would know who the big bad is. I got to the part where-"

The right side of the chantry door opened sending a blast of cold winter winds inward. The candles nearby flickered and some closer to the doors completely snuffed out.

"Dude!" Brandon grumbled, pulling the blanket he'd been given tighter around his shoulders. The soldier who had given it to him actually asked why Brandon had so little clothing. Like he had planned it or something.

The living statue by the door loudly grumbled, "the chatty dwarf will close the door or I will crush it."

Varric's eyebrows rose, "chatty? Listen, Bubbles, I'm the one who gives out nicknames. Chatty is just an insult."

"Furry was taken." Shale replied flatly, her eyes closing once more. Mortals.

"Furry!" He scoffed, "I am not furry, Bubbles."

Shale refused to answer, instead dismissing his protest with silence.

"Wait." He said, pausing as he had begun to walk away. "Who is furry?"

"Blackwall," Emma called over, "he's the furry warden, not to be confused with the pretty warden which I think is Alistair."

Varric, deadpanning, "Brooklyn, take it from someone who has known the guy for the better part of a decade, Cheesy isn't pretty." His gaze turned to the face he'd never seen before. Now there was a pretty man if he ever saw one. With long nails like a rich woman. Lacking a single facial scar. Fully wrapped in a blanket and some extremely soft looking clothes. Tall and pretty and doesn't like the cold. "Who's the beanpole?"

Glaring at him. "You did not just come up with Brandon's nickname just from looking at him."

Brandon. As in, "Brandon Lee?" Varric whistled, "you outworlders sure picked a hell of a place and time to visit."

"Beanpole. Seriously?" He hadn't been called beanpole since his last year of high school. Which was a long, long time ago. "Ems, who is-"

"Varric Tethras," Emma motioned between the two of them. "Meet Brandon Lee. Brandon, our local storyteller, obsessed with nicknames and his crossbow, Varric Tethras."

"Also, why did you call her Brooklyn? Shouldn't Elyria be Brooklyn?"

"Elyria is Cupcake," Emma told him, "and only when he's trying to annoy her. Otherwise Elyria is Ellie."

"Brooklyn, you're too observant."

She shrugged, "I hear things and pay attention."

Varric chuckled in response. There was a reason he liked her. Besides knowing he could pump her for information about Ellie once she'd had a couple of glasses of wine. Brooklyn had a sense of humor, a wry one at that. He could appreciate a dry wit.

"What are you two doing in here anyway?" He cast around, "It's almost eight bells and the storm outside is picking up."

"Waiting for a place to sleep." Emma rolled her eyes.

Varric's brow furrowed, "you sleep in Elyria's cabin." Unless… Realization dawned on him. "Broody finally got it together."

"Took him what, two months?" Emma still didn't like Fenris very much. "They're probably off making the best with two backs again."

Brandon shook his head, "glad she got the implant. Last thing El needs is a baby bump."

Varric had no idea what an implant was, but he assumed it was something to do with child prevention. "You two seen Red?"

"She was with Josie and Dorian." Emma nodded at the door where the inner circle met regularly.

"Thanks Brooklyn." He nodded at Emma and Brandon. "Welcome to Thedas Beanpole."

"Do you, like, know every nickname he's given?" Brandon asked after Varric went through the doorway at the back of the hall.

"The common ones, yeah. Varric went out of his way to be nice to me when I was completely lost here." And he got her drunk. Told her stories about Kirkwall and Elyria's time there. She had a life before she came back. A boyfriend and a handful of good friends.

And Elyria still came back to Earth.

Elyria told her it wasn't a plan. She's realized, Emma winced feeling the dull throb of pain at the back of her neck, nope. Not going there. Elyria had gone there, come back and decided to rejoin Thedas.

Emma could see why. Elyria always felt like the black sheep in her family. Her mom had been weird about making the right friends, and going to the right people's houses. Rubbing elbows with the right people. Mrs. Duke was what Emma's mom called a social climber. She wanted nice things and to be around the people who would recognize those nice things as the status symbols they were.

Elyria was not interested in those things. She purposely got herself into a lot of trouble in junior high school. Until Emma won a scholarship to the same private school Elyria had been trying very, very hard to get herself kicked out of. Emma still remembered exactly how she met Elyria.

Emma's first day was awful. Those were the days when she was small for her age (she was small but she was bouncy now), and uncomfortable with her body. Every other girl had their uniform tailored to fit them, and Emma quite obviously had not. Every other girl in seventh grade wore a face full of make-up. Except Emma. Everyone wore designer purses and bags. Except Emma.

It was during World History. Some girl kicked the back of her chair and asked her friend loud enough for Emma to hear where the poor girl had come from. Ew. I hope she doesn't have lice.

Emma hunched in on herself, deciding maybe she should just go back to public school. At least there she fit in. Her mom didn't want her in public school though.

She'd been in the middle of fighting back tears when someone leaned over, grabbed the mean girl's hair and yanked so hard the girl screeched. Chunky reddish highlights and a handful of brown hair hit the floor.

Emma, blinking tears away, turned to her right where an annoyed looking girl with very short blonde hair was wiggling her fingers to rid herself of the remaining strands she'd ripped out. "Be more careful Margot. Bitches deserve stitches."

The teacher lost his shit. The girl, Margot, lost her shit, her friends lost theirs. Security came to escort the blonde girl out. She smiled the whole time.

"I'm Elyria," the girl said after she came back from one week of in school suspension. She even grinned like a crazy person. "What's up?" Emma thought maybe she was crazy. She was, but Emma learned later it was the good kind of crazy.

Elyria never fit in back on Earth. She had Emma and later Brandon and Kerry. Once she got to college, but high school had just been the two of them. Elyria slept at her house sometimes more than she slept in her own bed.

Here in Thedas, Elyria fit. She had people like Alistair and Varric, Leliana and Fenris. Sera had a pretty evident girl crush, Shale respected her, Josie deferred to her, Vivienne flirted with her, Mother Giselle, Dorian, Solas, they all paid rapt attention when Elyria opened her mouth. Emma overheard The Iron Bull telling his Chargers if they kept following Elyria, there was probably going to be a dragon fight. Those lunatics actually cheered. Then they clinked mugs and chugged mead.

Emma was still trying to find her niche here. Brandon probably would need some time too. Viola probably wouldn't have enjoyed it. At least back where they all came from Viola could cover for them.

That's what Emma hoped.

Back in an absolutely freezing cold cabin, Viola was trying to figure out what in the actual fuck just happened. Her headache was like nothing she'd ever felt, her body hurt from hitting the floor - because she had slapped the floor so hard the wood should have had a Viola size dent. Her nose wasn't broken thank god. Her ears rung, her chest hurt, her arms felt like wet noodles and it took a great deal of personal strength to flip herself over. The floor felt like ice beneath her.

How long had it been? She grabbed her phone from the pocket in her skirt. Blinking in the low light she powered it back on after having turned it off to save the battery back in…

There was no way on God's green earth she'd been in a video game.

But her phone showed several hours had passed. And, she found as she looked around, Brandon hadn't come back with her. If he wasn't here, then that left one other conclusion.

How in the actual living fuck could she have been in a video game? It was a game. A game her little sister had obsessed over and obsessed over a few years ago. Honestly, Elyria would be the only person in the world who could possibly end up finding a blip between this universe and…

Wait.

Her brow creased as she finally gathered enough strength to sit up. She couldn't be the only person. Elyria couldn't be the only person because if that place was real enough to touch and there was a way to get there, and-

The pounding in her head threatened to make her vomit. Viola squeezed her eyes shut, shapes and colors behind her lids.

There had to be a link between there and here. Didn't there have to be a link between the two. The game was evidence wasn't it? Someone over at…whichever video game company made the game, someone had to be linked to it right? Stories don't just appear out of thin air. Someone has to tell the story, don't they? It has to be developed and manufactured and reassessed and-

She felt something pop.

In her nose.

Blood rushing down her upper lip and down her shirt. Viola, stopped mid-thought process to pinch her nose shut. An ominous dark feeling told her lizard brain - shut up. Now.

Viola, deciding she wanted to live another day, stopped thinking about it. It still sat in her head to be addressed later, but, at least to keep herself sane and alive, she settled for pinching her nose shut and attempting to get to the bathroom.

He heard the mouthy dwarf before Varric ever appeared in Fenris' line of sight. Crossbow on his back, a moderate amount of chest hair present as always and no small amount of amusement present in his demeanor. "Broody, you look positively content. I don't think I have ever seen you look this happy."

Fenris, who was until that moment actually very happy, spared the dwarf a glower of irritation. "Dwarf."

"I'm just saying, getting laid looks good on you."

"Noted. I will let Elyria know you think so. She may not kill you if it comes from me."

Varric waved his hand dismissively. "Cupcake sleeping in this morning? Haven't seen her. Her friends, Brooklyn and Beanpole are already in the tavern."

"And Viola." Fenris added. At Varric's furrowed brow, "Elyria's sister, older, longer hair, has similar eyes."

"No." Varric shook his head, crossing arms over his chest. "Only saw the little one and the tall one. Sister wasn't around. If I'd seen an Elyria look alike I would have said something. "

Odd. Fenris would have expected Viola to remain as close to the other two as possible until she got her bearings. Possibly trying to convince them leaving would be best. Where might Viola have-

Varric whistled, his arms uncrossed to settle on his hips. "Well I'll be damned. Cheesy, what or who," he jeered, fully turning toward the stairs, "brought on that swagger?"

Fenris too adjusted his stance to look away from the training soldiers and face his friend. Alistair scowled with reddening skin at Varric.

"You are extremely annoying, you know that?" Alistair huffed as he drew closer.

"A man only swaggers like that when he gets laid." Varric continued, "who's the lucky lady, or guy, you know I won't judge."

Snorting, "not only do you judge, you gossip too."

"Uh huh. Broody, I think I figured out where the older sister went. We all knew you had a thing for blondes Cheesy, but that was fast. Ellie's sister liked you, huh?"

Sister? Alistair looked at Fenris who shook his head in silent response. Varric was fishing for information. Fenris, silently, returned to watching the troops he was overseeing.

"I would never sleep with Ellie's sister. That's just," Alistair made a face, "wrong."

"Oh you're no fun." Varric gave in much too quickly for Fenris' tastes. "Fine, Cheesy, keep your secrets. If I wanted a grump I'd go find Chuckles."

Once Varric was out of earshot, Alistair held out a bottle of something dark red, almost purple with a black and white bottle to him. "Ellie said you probably didn't eat this morning. She called this a Vitamin Water, and there's an oatmeal bar too."

Fenris took the offered square of silver and the cold bottle. He held the latter up to look at the tiny writing in common on the side. "What is it?"

Alistair shrugged. "She gave me half of hers. They're sweet. Hers was pink. Tastes like summer fruit."

"Ah," he lifted the square too. "And this?"

"Oats and honey wrapped around jelly filling. I've had the strawberry and the blueberry. They're both good. Not filling but it's enough until you get a real meal."

Interesting. Her world packaged food to go. He flipped the package a few times looking for where to open it. Alistair took it, ripping the foil at the top, then handed it back. "Thank you." There was a small undercurrent of something almost chemical after he swallowed the first bite. "It does taste somewhat like strawberries."

"Fenris," Alistair hesitated, halting right after his name, "I want to-" he cleared his throat, "I need to speak to you. About Elyria."

Fenris continued with his small meal while giving his other lover his attention. "Yes?"

"I think you should marry Elyria." Alistair in a rush of words so quick, for a moment Fenris didn't fully understand what the other man said at first. "I'm my father's son. If Elyria was to marry me, Anora might take it as a hostile act. Even if I can't give her children, if you did and I claimed them as mine, I would have more heirs to the Ferelden throne than Anora. Marrick's bloodline." He finally breathed in, shoulders hunching as he said, "She deserves better than a bastard's name."

"I don't have a name to give her." Fenris told him without hesitation. "Even if I did, if she knew we were having this conversation, she would refuse us both."

Alistair frowned deeply, sighing. "She would. Stubborn mule of a woman."

Fenris smirked against the mouth of the open bottle. "Obstinate."

"Her temper, I've never met anyone who has her temper." Alistair murmured. "Is this real?"

Fenris, not for the first time, nodded in answer to that question. He found Alistair's grip on reality faltering the longer the calling remained. "What makes you think it isn't?"

Many things. Too many things. "I fought this war ten years ago. With Ellie. We're right back in Haven. The handful of differences are easy enough to make up."

"I could punch you, that would feel real enough."

Scowling at him, Alistair shook his head after a moment. "I…it is hard to believe all of this. Another war, in the same place. And Elyria…you, us. This. I…it's difficult for me. I'm waiting for someone to say it isn't real."

Nodding, Fenris placed his hand on his lover's shoulder. "This is real. Believe in that. Believe in us."

You ever have a pet that's like, "I love you so much, I kiss you, I snuggle, you're my human" but at the same time is like "no, don't touch me, I touch you, you don't touch me. You smell."

I love my youngest cat, he's a sweetheart, but damn is he an asshole.