II

On we marched towards Cartanica. Tensions were high, especially between Gladio and Noct. I knew what Gladio was thinking. He has the mentality of a battle-hardened warrior, chomping at the bit for a fight. He detests hesitation, and rushes head-long into danger. His inclination is to push everything that could be a potential obstacle away. Indeed, Lady Lunafreya's passing, my blindness, were simply obstacles that he had to push aside to advance. It wasn't that he didn't feel. To the contrary, I believe the situation gnawed away at him as much as anyone, perhaps even more so. He simply approached the problem differently.

Noct, on the other hand, wanted to ponder, to reflect, to mourn. He wanted to be alone. He needed space, time, and quiet to come to terms with his losses and get his head clear before he could plot out the future. It wasn't a lack of determination. Absolutely not, for Noct had counseled me that we must push on, lest all be for naught. What he did lack was confidence. Since Insomnia had fallen, he had managed to cheat death, push his boundaries, take risks, and claim victory. Altissia was a slap in the face; A cold realism had snuck in that he wasn't prepared for. If it had been he alone that suffered, he would have been able to hold his own. However, it was clear that his last gamble had cheated him the love of his life, and had gravely wounded his closest ally. He wasn't sure if he could bear the burden of responsibility that could ultimately get us all killed. He wasn't sure he was grown enough to be King.

Gladio chose to barrel past the pain, loss and frustration by proclaiming himself undefeatable, squashing hesitation. He grew louder, demanding action from a very young and dazed ruler. That ruler was inexperienced in every way. They barely spoke, and when they did, an argument ensued. Were Noct truly donning the role of King, he could have ordered Gladio to show some respect. Since he didn't, I ordered it myself.

It was obvious he felt Noct was self-absorbed and concerned only about his personal loss. How wrong he was! Noct and I spoke on a couple of instances during that stretch of the journey, and I know full well the guilt he bore. He even felt my loss as his own. Despite the pain, he didn't give up. He gave quitting not a moment's thought. I was so unbearably proud of him.

As for Prompto, he was ever the caretaker. Always at my side, always playing mediator between Noctis and his Shield. Indeed, it was during this time that I realized I had misjudged him. It was true that he was clumsy and lacked most forms of social finesse. (Even his nurse-maiding me caused me to lose a bit of patience.) I realized, though, that Prompto is all heart. He has kindness and an innocent concern that the general populace lack entirely. I noticed as he toiled to hold our quartet together, and I also recognized he felt defeated in what seemed to be failure.

In Cartanica, in the depths of the quarry, things came to a head. While I had stumbled along—quite literally—through our journey, the others tried to accommodate my pace. I loathed my lack of competency in something so simple as placing one foot in front of the other. And though I was blind, I felt something so simple should come so naturally. I reached the height of my frustration when the others faced the wrath of a malboro. Finally, I was able to gather my wits enough to think logically through the situation. I was able to step in and grant a victory, despite my disability. It was a turning point for us. The bickering ceased. It was as if they had realized I could adapt and learn to fend for myself, and the burden eased. It was then that I declared my intention to continue on our journey, despite the consequences to myself. After all, I would never leave Noct to toil alone. I would never abandon my King.

Upon Gladio's concern that I would endanger the others, Prompto came to my defense. I understood all along, I suppose, that I had their friendship. But our conversation there made me understand that I also commanded their respect.

Gladio departed, Prompto followed, and Noct and I were left to talk.

[FLASHBACK]

"All of that stuff you said just now…" Ignis could hear Noct's voice to his left side, could hear him sloshing in the water. He imagined him standing there, hand on his hip, kicking at the ground with his toe. It was his normal mannerism if he were bored, frustrated, or otherwise unsettled. "Did you mean it?"

Ignis turned his face towards Noct. He could feel a slightly warmer sensation in his left ear, indicating the sun was trying to peek through the cover of the damp and miserable hollow. As usual since he had lost eyesight, he could see a faint yellow blur on a sea of black, in the exact location Noct would be standing. It appeared to be an anomaly only associated with Noctis, as he never saw such a thing when speaking with Gladio or Prompto. For some reason, Noctis' presence seemed to radiate in his blinded eyes. He found it a relief. Even if he couldn't see, he could still find Noctis. "Of course; Why?"

"So much faith in me. Even after all I've put you through over the years. Not sure I've earned it."

"Perhaps the fault is mine. Aleya tells me all the time that I'm too serious."

"Uh, Specs? We all say you're too serious."

"Right." He chuckled a bit. A silence hung between them for a moment. "A gil for your thoughts?"

Noct hesitated for a moment with a slight hum under his breath, a ramp up to his next words. "Mmm. I don't feel much like a King, yet." A slosh, slosh of water, and then a hand on Ignis' shoulder. He flinched, unprepared and momentarily startled. "I'd say you probably could wear the crown better than I can."

It might have been meant as affection, a kindness. But the hesitation was still there in Noct's voice and manner. A lump formed in Ignis' throat. What could he do to give Noctis the wings he had once carried so proudly? His self-condemnation was beginning to cause worry. "No, Your Majesty. You mustn't say anything of the sort. We're all your humble servants, and we look to you to lead us. Noct, even if they don't show it….They believe in you. As do I."

The hand slid off of Ignis' shoulder. "I guess there's nothing else for me to do. There's no going back. We have to keep going. We have to try."

"As I've said, we will support you and bear your burdens. Don't keep everything bottled up and to yourself. We desire to help you. That's why we serve you."

There was a thick emotional silence for well over a minute before Noct spoke again. "Heh. Servants? Not sure about that. Gladio and Prompto talk back, and you—Well, I think dad liked you better than me."

Ignis felt the need to cringe a bit, but Noct had said it in a jovial tone, obviously teasing. He decided to reciprocate. "Hardly. If he liked me at all he wouldn't have settled me with such a burdensome assignment. Begging His Majesty's pardon, of course." He chuckled under his breath.

"Is that the way you talk to your King?" Noctis feigned shock.

"No." Ignis would have reached out to touch his shoulder, if he could see. All he could see was a blur of faint light, and even then, he couldn't determine distance. "It's the way I speak to my brother."

Noctis cleared his throat, fighting a sudden surge in emotion. "Iggy. I'm—I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about everything."

"You hardly need apologize; You bear no responsibility."

"If I had been stronger, If I had just managed to stay awake after fighting Leviathan! Maybe I could have…"

Ignis interrupted. "None of that. Hear me, now. There is nothing you could have done, and nothing I would have allowed you to do. I was fulfilling my role as your attendant. I receive such wounds in service to my King, and I have no harboring regret. I will support you always, no matter the cost. Haven't I said as much, often? You've always known you would someday bear the burden of King. And I? I have always known that I would do anything to support you. You have your calling. I was fulfilling mine."

"But, Luna was too. And she's gone. And….you're blind, Iggy." Noct sighed in frustration. "I know what your eyesight meant to you. And Allie. What's she going to say?"

"It's nothing warranting your attention. I can handle that. You only need focus on your own…"

"No!" Noct snapped, quickly, instantly angry. "I'm no selfish monarch! What kind of King would I be if I abandoned those counting on me? If all of your feelings didn't matter?"

"Noct…"

"You guys were going to get married, weren't you?"

The question took him by surprise, and left him slightly embarrassed. Noct had known what she meant to him, but he had never confided that he desired to marry her. Were his feelings so obvious?

He sighed. The dreams he had once had for the future seemed to have been long faded. In his last moments of sighted action, he remembered everyone he cared about briefly crossing his mind. Noct, Prompto, Gladio….and she was there, too. She seemed to be as solid and real as Noct, who had been lying before him. It was the last he thought of before his eyes burned away in agonizing fire. The next he thought of her was shortly after he awoke. First, the panic, as he realized he was blind. Then Noct. Was the new King safe and well? After assurances of his safety, Prompto had brough him clothes to change into, so that he might accompany Noct at his bedside. It was somewhere between when he had fastened the waistband around his hips and when he reached for his shirt that he remembered: All the promises he made to himself, to have Aleya be at his side for the rest of his days, to court her and win her affection, to eventually propose, to serve the new King and Queen side-by-side and hand-in-hand. He remembered her statement regarding how 'pretty' his eyes were. He had stood in the dark, completely overwhelmed by the sense of loss. He had sat back down on the mattress and simply cradled his head in his hands, lamenting the loss. Noct hadn't been the only one who had found his future sinking in the Accordo waters that day.

And in truth, while he earnestly yearned for Noct to regain his confidence, he felt a bit hypocritical. He wasn't sure he would ever entirely regain his own. He frowned, and answered Noct quietly. "Eventually, I suppose. That was the plan."

To his surprise, he heard Noct give a slight shaky breath, as if he were holding back a sob. "You've bailed me out so many times. And I can't do anything for you. Nothing at all."

Ignis crept forward, reaching out for Noct's shoulder, until Noct grasped his elbow to aid him. He gripped his upper bicep, squeezing it with all the assurance he could muster. "There's an old saying my Uncle taught me. 'Rough seas make the best seamen.'"

"What?"

"After all we've experienced, there's hardly anything else they can throw at us that we haven't weathered. With all that has happened, I'm sure you'll turn out to be one bloody good King. Noct, I will overcome this disability. You must overcome yours."

Noct let out a soft, scoffing breath.

Ignis squeezed his arm again. "And I don't need eyes to lend you a hand. I have seen the man you have become, and I know where you are going. We cannot avoid every speed bump, every obstacle, even every wreck on our journey. However, it's only the destination that's important. I vow to pursue my planned future. In turn, you must do the same. You lead, and I'll follow. We all will. Even Gladio."

Noct chuckled. "You got my back?"

"Always." Ignis gave one final pat to his shoulder. "Now then. We'll speak no more of regrets. Off to Tenebrae, shall we? I'm famished. Perhaps their cuisine is more palatable than the canned beans and powdered potatoes we've grown so unfortunately accustomed to."

They began to walk back up the slope to the upper ledge of the quarry. "I could whip us up something."

Ignis wrinkled his nose. "I'm afraid I'll pass. I cherish what health I have left."

"Hey, I can cook! I used to work at a restaurant, didn't I?"

"You didn't cook. You lacerated."

"Hey!..."

[BACK TO ENTRY]

That wasn't the last of our problems, of course. Tenebrae burned to the ground. We lost Prompto along the way, and found him later in an appalling state of physical health. We nearly lost Noctis, as we were separated at Gralea. And there was, of course, the incident with the Crystal.

After the Crystal ingested its chosen protector, I will say we were all lost and confused. We had felt for a certainty that once Noct was reunited with the crystal, all would be well. He would bear the power of the Kings before him, and we would work towards regaining our Kingdom. With the crystal and the might of the gods on our side, how could we lose? At least, that is what we supposed. But it was not to be. Everything went awry.

We tried to guard the crystal for a while, but I'm told it began gradually fading from view; Crossing whatever boundaries of time and space we are familiar with. It was obvious the crystal would not heed my call—I tried. I thought perhaps by being touched by the Kings of Yore, I could somehow appeal to the crystal. That, of course, was fruitless. Therefore, we had a decision to make. Stay in Zegnautus Keep, an enticing target for every foul and horrid thing then roaming the facility; Or, of course, begin our sojourn back to Lucis.

It wasn't an easy decision to make. We didn't wish to abandon Noctis. However, I eventually convinced the others that our efforts would best be served in protecting the people of Eos in Noct's absence. Further, I needed to do additional research, to see if I could determine how and when Noct might return, so we could be ready for him. Gladio agreed, eager to train his mind and body for the occasion. Prompto, poor lad, seemed a touch bewildered, but he certainly didn't want to be left behind. He also wanted to support our decision. With all in agreement, we decided to depart.

It was decided along the way that we should rescue as many of the people as possible, beginning with our current location. Besides, it was not the citizens' fault that their emperor had gone entirely mad with power. From my summation, part of the reason Emperor Aldercapt invested so heavily in magitek is because there were not enough of the common people to support their war effort. He knew full well the cost of a prolonged conflict. Rather than risk the disapproval of those in his charge, he chose to expand his support by turning to science and machinery. Thus, the citizens would not be drafted, and all would be safe and secure.

What we have learned, though, is that the extreme financial impact brought exactly the opposite—extreme hardship. Gralea ceased expansion. Everything came to a virtual stand-still. The only technology that advanced were in the bowels of the lab itself. The rest of the city—and indeed, the nation—fell into disrepair and poverty. The citizens also caught wind of the experimentations that had gone horribly wrong, costing the lives of research workers.

To spare a long story: In short, they revolted. Prior to our arrival, it seems martial law was declared, and everyone remained under strict curfew. Circumstances quickly degraded until they lost control of the lab, causing everything still living to flee in terror.

We saved all we could; Staving off the danger so that the survivors could depart to the continent of Lucis if they desired. Transportation was provided courtesy of Commadore Aranea Highwind, of course.

Next, after our rather perilous and lengthy trip back to the Accordo province, we scoured Altissia and found a few stragglers. Truthfully, I have no idea how they survived, as by the time we arrived, conditions had completely degraded. We were told there were other survivors barred somewhere within, but they would never show themselves. We had to leave eventually, and so we did.

Perhaps our task would have been executed with greater expedience would I had my eyesight. It was enormously frustrating to be such a hinderance. While my steps were getting more sure, and my senses were being honed, I'm afraid my combat skills were still sorely lacking. I managed to get in a lucky strike on occasion. Unfortunately, it did little to assist my comrades. I was damned to be a liability. And as we got closer to the port in Altissia, I knew I would soon have very little choice but to return to Lestallum and confront everyone with my new disability. How would I explain it to the Marshal, or Monica? Would the Glaive work alongside a disabled man? Would Iris hover? Most importantly, what would Aleya think?

I didn't have long before I would find out.