Summary: On the second day of Helen's birthday visit, she and Max have a discussion about their old friends; Max finds a keepsake Helen's been holding onto while packing up the remnants of her London flat; A little smut, followed by some pillow talk
Notes: This chapter gets a little spicy at the end, spicier than the scene in chapter 2. Not exactly explicit, but it leaves less to the imagination.
Sunday, August 20th, 7:45 a.m., Geneva
Dishes clattering in the distance startles Helen from slumber. She's not used to hearing loud noises in her flat complex this early on weekends. But the unfamiliar bedspread reminds her where she is.
On instinct, Helen flings her arm across the bed to reach for Max, but his side is empty, much to her dismay. She was looking forward to waking up next to him.
Helen drags herself out of bed and up the hallway. She leans against the living room wall, watching Max cook something on the stove as Luna watches from her stool. Pretty soon, this is what all their weekends will look like.
"Mum!"
"Helen! What are you doing out here?" Max asks, a little frazzled.
"I… woke up?" How else is she supposed to answer that question?
"Mummy, I'm helping Daddy make a surprise for you!" Luna holds up two berry-stained hands as evidence.
"Oh, is that so?"
"Yeah, babe, can you just go back into the bedroom for a minute? Luna and I will be right in."
Suspecting what they're up to, Helen does as she's told. While she waits on the bed, Helen opens her phone to a text from Mina.
"Happy Birthday, Ammeh Joon! I hope you and the baby are doing well! You're around 11 weeks along, right?
Greece is lovely this time of year. Fall term is about to start, but maybe I can visit when you're settled in Geneva.
Take care, love you lots!"
A few weeks ago, Helen told Mina about Max, the baby, and the impending move since that information would impact her niece as well when she's on holiday. While Mina isn't exactly Max's biggest fan, she trusts Helen's judgment that things will be different this time, and is happy and supportive.
Other than their first awkward first interaction, Mina has only met Max once. He and Helen had her over for dinner when they moved to London. But Mina went to study in Prague shortly after. So she really only knows Max through what Helen has told her.
Helen types back a reply.
"Thank you, dear! I miss you too! Yes, I'll be 11 weeks tomorrow. I'm still experiencing typical symptoms, but hopefully, those will pass when I reach the second trimester. We have our 12-week ultrasound next weekend. I'll send you some more photos if you'd like.
I would love to see you soon! I think it's important for you to get to know Max and Luna better.
Stay safe and have fun!
Much love, Ammeh Helen"
Helen checks her messages for more birthday wishes. So far, only Elinor and Priscilla (the receptionist at the Hampstead clinic) have reached out. Despite what happened last weekend, Helen had sort of hoped her mother would at least send a text. It's still early yet, maybe she'll receive something later.
Last year, none of Helen's former New York friends wished her a happy birthday. She didn't expect much, as it had been just over two months since she left Max waiting for her at the altar. But she thought at least Lauren would have contacted her. They became friends shortly after Helen began working at New Amsterdam nine years ago. It was a wonderful kinship for a while: Lauren was fun, a shoulder to lean on while Helen grieved the death of Muhammad, and gave tough love when necessary. But in more recent years, their friendship became imbalanced. Helen was the one to offer endless support, comfort, and guidance more often. After the initial shock and disappointment of the news she and Max were moving to London, Helen expected more support from her so-called best friend. So, needless to say, she's not expecting any well wishes this year either.
As the bedroom door creaks open, Luna tiptoes in with a paper and a craft in hand, followed by Max carrying a breakfast tray. "Happy birthday, Mummy!" Luna climbs onto the bed and shoves a bouquet of flowers made from tissue paper and pipe cleaner into Helen's hands. "I made this for you!"
"Thank you, sweetheart! These are beautiful!"
"Happy birthday, babe!" Max places the breakfast tray of tea, pancakes, fruit, sausage, and over-easy eggs in front of Helen, then leans in for a kiss, but she claps a hand over her mouth and nose. "Uh-oh. What's wrong?"
"I, hmm…" Helen's head shakes as she hums, doing her best to not inhale the sulfuric smell. "I can't stomach eggs anymore. The odor is repulsive."
"Oh, sorry!" Max hates that he doesn't know all of Helen's nausea triggers, smell aversions, or cravings yet. That wouldn't be the case if they were already living together. "Here, I'll get you a new plate."
When Max is out of the room, Helen takes a breath of fresh air, then examines Luna's second project. "What have we got here?"
"I fixed the picture of our family!" Luna holds up the drawing she made yesterday and points to a tiny blob inside the figure representing Helen. "That's the baby inside your belly!"
"Oh, how wonderful! That's very sweet!"
"I can't wait to see the baby!"
"You know, I went to the doctor a few weeks ago, and they took a picture of it with a machine called an ultrasound." Helen pulls up one of the sonogram photos on her phone and shows it to Luna.
Luna tilts her head and scrunches her face in confusion. "That doesn't look like a baby."
"Not quite yet. But I'll be going to the doctor again next week so they can take some more photos. It will look more like a baby then."
Where is this doctor? Luna doesn't want her mum to go without her. "Can I come with you?"
"You'll be tagging along, don't worry. Actually, you and your father will be visiting me in London next week! You'll also be helping me pack up the rest of my belongings so I can move here."
"Yaaayyy! Then you can stay here forever!"
Max returns, carrying an egg-free plate. "Sorry 'bout that."
"It's alright. Thanks, luv," Helen says as he places it in front of her. "I'll take that kiss."
Max gently places his lips on Helen's, only expecting her to handle something soft and simple. But Helen grips the front of Max's shirt, tugging him closer as she eases his mouth open with her tongue. Desperation for Max washes over Helen like a wave, surprising them both as she deepens the kiss.
Luna covers both of her eyes. "Eww, Mummy, Daddy! That's icky!"
Pulling back from Helen's chasing lips, Max clears his throat and pats Luna's head. "You'll get it when you're older, kid. You good, hon?"
Warmth spreads throughout Helen's body, particularly in her cheeks and between her legs. "Yeah, I… I'm fine. Sorry, I don't know what came over me." Embarrassed, Helen changes the subject. "Have you two eaten yet."
"Yeah, we were pretty hungry. I'm gonna go do the dishes so we can get a headstart on the day."
"No!" Helen grabs Max's hand. "Dishes can wait. I want you and Luna to sit with me whilst I eat." Since she's leaving for London this afternoon, Helen wants to make the most of every minute together.
Max kisses Helen's forehead, then sits on the bed next to her. "Whatever you want. You're the birthday queen."
Max, Helen, and Luna spend the day exploring more of the city. They hop around to a few different shops, grab some takeout and eat by the water, and visit a natural history museum. Helen might have liked to go to an art museum, but she didn't think Luna would have the attention span for something like that.
While Luna digs up some dinosaur "fossils" in one of the children's interactive exhibits, Max and Helen watch from a few steps away, close enough to keep an eye on their daughter but far enough that they can have a moment alone.
Max wraps his arms around Helen from behind and kisses her neck. "How ya doing?"
Helen leans back into Max's arms, relaxing her shoulders she hadn't realized were tense. "I'm alright. A little heartburn, I feel bloated, my back hurts a bit. And I have to pee… again."
"But you're enjoying yourself?"
"Yes, today has been lovely." In recent years, Helen's birthday has more or less been a reminder that her fertility was rapidly declining. But now with Luna and Max in her life again and a baby on the way, her birthday isn't as melancholy anymore. Save for a few people she's lost.
"What's going on in there?" Max whispers against Helen's temple.
He reads her so well. "Erm, I was just thinking… about my mum." It was exactly a week ago Helen told her mother that unless she can get with the program regarding the upcoming transition, she's not welcome in her new life.
"Has she called or texted?"
"No. Not all week."
"I'm sorry, babe. I know you've never had the best relationship, but that still sucks." Max knows from experience what it's like to be estranged from one's parents. He doesn't want to bring it up right now and hog the attention, but a conversation about his parents should happen sometime soon. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No. Just being with you and Luna is enough."
"Mummy! Daddy! Look what I found!" Luna points out what appears to be dinosaur ribs. "These are bones, right, Daddy? Like I have in my body?"
"Yeah, that's right, Lu! We have lots of different kinds of bones! Those ones protected the dinosaur's lungs and heart."
"Luna seems to have a scientific mind already," Helen says to Max as the little girl resumes her activity. "She clearly takes after you. I can't wait to see what our little one will take an interest in."
"Oh, hey, that reminds me. Since you're almost at twelve weeks, when did you wanna tell our New York friends about us and the baby? I haven't said anything to them because I wanted to talk to you about it first."
Helen groans and rolls her eyes. Friends, riiiiiight. "Do we have to?"
Oblivious to Helen's perspective on the matter, Max tilts his head, trying to get a view of her expression. "Umm, you wouldn't want to because…?"
"I'm not sure if you noticed, but they weren't exactly the biggest supporters of our relationship."
"What are you talking about? They loved us together! And they were there for me a lot last summer."
Helen feels downright sick with a hint of panic, a familiar sensation she gets whenever she wants to run from a difficult conversation. But she can't run from this one. They need to talk about it, just not here. "Max, we shouldn't discuss this right now. This is not the time or place."
As if on cue, Luna comes bounding over, holding up two hands covered with dirt and sand. "Mummy, Daddy! My hands are dirty!"
"I'll take you to the bathroom to wash your hands, Munchkin. I have to use the toilet anyways. We'll be right back, Max." Helen brushes his arms off her waist and grabs Luna's arm, then looks back. "Let's finish this conversation back at home."
Still confused, Max silently nods, watching his two ladies walk away.
After returning back to the apartment mid-afternoon, while Max puts Luna in her room to see if she'll nap, Helen makes herself a cup of ginger honey tea to soothe the acid in her esophagus. The impending unpleasant conversation isn't helping much.
Max returns to the living room and joins Helen on the couch. "Luna's been phasing out of naps recently, so she's just gonna have some quiet play time." He suspects Luna was afraid that if she went to sleep, Helen would leave before she woke up.
"She's grown so much." Helen regrets how much of Luna's life she missed out on over the past year.
"Yeah, sometimes I forget." Luna will always be Max's baby! But the first two months after Georgia's death were so foggy, due to grief and recovering from chemo, that he doesn't remember her newborn phase very clearly. And last summer was a blur too. For this next baby, Max is determined to be more present. "So why exactly don't you want to tell our New York friends about us and the baby?"
"I suppose we can if you really want to. But I'm not on the best of terms with them."
"Why?"
Helen huffs a chuckle. She loves Max, but he can be so dumb sometimes! "We sort of cut off ties when I ended things between us last year. They took your side during it all, even though they knew me long before you came around."
"They helped me move on with my life. How is that a bad thing?"
"No, no! Please don't misunderstand, I'm glad you had a support system. But they clearly favored you before that."
"Can you give me an example?"
"Well, for one, none of them called after I stood you up except for Lauren. But only to yell at me for what I did. She didn't even ask me why or what happened." In a moment of weakness last August (on what would have been their one-year dating anniversary), Helen called Lauren to see how Max was getting on. But she was met with the same anger and disdain as before, and hasn't heard from Lauren since. "Second, do you remember how they treated us leading up to the London move?"
It all comes back: everyone acting rude and cold when Max gave them their "goodbye" presents; Floyd boldly assuming Max wasn't going with Helen after the team helped find and eradicate a hospital-spread bacterial infection outbreak; Lauren, Floyd, Iggy, and even Walsh and Karen guilt tripping him for going to London, before and after getting rid of Fuentes. "Yeah, they were kind of immature about it. But I was leaving them in the hands of the corporate devil herself, so I kind of get it."
"No, of course. I understand why it was difficult for them, but didn't you find it odd how they tried to coerce you into staying at New Amsterdam, but not me?"
"Wait, really?" Max tries to see the good in everyone, so the idea that they couldn't care less whether Helen stayed or left hadn't even crossed his mind.
"Yes. They all said some snide remark about me making you come to London. Before we even saw Veronica in action, Lauren had the audacity to suggest that I should ditch you so you would stay behind." Karen too, but since they weren't particularly friends, that one didn't sting as much as Lauren's betrayal.
"She did?! That's not cool!" Although it shouldn't surprise him, based on what Floyd said before Max and Helen left for the airport.
"She tried to play it off as a joke, but I suspected there was truth behind it." Tears well up in Helen's eyes as the emotions she buried come bubbling back to the surface. "They resented me for taking you away and leaving them to fend for themselves. They didn't mind if we broke each other's hearts so long as they got to keep you, and I just felt like… I felt like all of my friends were turning their backs on me."
Max wraps his arms around Helen as her tears spill over. He just holds her for a minute, letting her get it all out. The day Max took a group on a rock climbing trip while trying to avoid Helen comes to mind. Lauren had compared Helen to a drug, an addiction for Max, another indication that she and the rest of the gang were fairweather friends.
Once Helen has gained control over herself, she wipes her tears and rests her head on Max's shoulder. "Except whilst I was still in hospital, none of them visited or offered help during my stroke recovery. I know the situation we left them in with Veronica wasn't ideal, but I didn't expect to be treated so harshly by people I've known for nearly a decade."
"Helen, I'm so sorry! I can get so in my own head sometimes! I didn't know you were going through all that!"
"It's not entirely your fault. I should have been more open with you about it." Helen's avoidant attachment style is something she's been working on in therapy, and this conversation is proof that it's paying off.
"I'm trying to get better at truly seeing you. I really am." Throughout their initial relationship, Max looked at things through rose-colored glasses. He brushed aside the warning signs that Helen wasn't okay until it was too late. "And you didn't make me go to London. That was my choice. I'd follow you anywhere."
"I know," but Helen appreciates the reassurance nonetheless. She's so glad to be back in Max's life; while they're madly in love, they were best friends first. But she still feels the loss of her old New Amsterdam coworkers, particularly Lauren and Floyd. "So… are you still going to tell them?" Helen lifts her head to look at Max with nervous wavering eyes.
All of Max's closest friends texted him on his birthday in May, and he's heard from Floyd twice since. "Hmm. I guess. We left on good terms, so they might reach out, and it'll come up sooner or later." Especially if we get married, Max refrains from voicing. "But you don't have to talk to them if you don't want to."
Helen can't bear the thought of calling up her old friends. It would feel much like a cowering dog, slinking home with its tail between its legs, and the judgment she'd receive would be humiliating.
"And I'm gonna set the record straight: about the Lymphodril drug trial, about how they treated you… if you want?" Trying to fix all of Helen's problems was one of Max's toxic traits. But he can't hear Lauren, Floyd, and Iggy talking trash about Helen without defending her if she won't do it herself.
"Y…yes, that would be nice. I can't bring myself to speak to them yet. I want to give them time to process the news first."
"I'm here to support you, Helen. Through all the highs and lows. We're partners, right?"
Helen's heart swells. It's been so long since she's had a strong support system other than Mina. "Partners." She threads her fingers through Max's and kisses his hand. "I love you."
Max brushes one more stray tear from Helen's cheek. Her eyes are still shimmering. He hates that she's sad, but it means she feels comfortable being vulnerable around him. "I love you more."
Saturday, August 26th, 11:30 am, London
To Max, six days apart from Helen doesn't sound like a long time, so it shouldn't have been this hard. But with the end of their separation so close, plus since Luna and Helen have been reintroduced, all three of them have been missing each other like crazy!
At the end of the long week, Max and Luna enter Helen's flat complex. Max told his superiors at work he'd need the week off. Although he hasn't been working at W.H.O. for very long, he explained that his partner is pregnant and needs help packing up the rest of her belongings for the move. He can do some work remotely, and luckily, Luna's preschool hasn't resumed classes for the fall term yet.
Max knocks on unit #4. As if she was waiting by the door, Helen opens it almost immediately with a bashful smile. "Hi!"
"Hey." Every time Max sees Helen, he swears his heart skips a beat!
"Mummy!" Luna runs past Max and claps her legs around Helen. "I missed you, Mum!"
"I missed you too, sweetheart!"
Max enters the flat, dragging both his and Luna's rolling suitcases, and scans the room. It's both emptier and messier than last time. Paintings have been removed from the walls, now propped against the wall; cardboard boxes are stacked on the floor; piles of books lay scattered about, in the process of being sorted; and the kitchen counters are cleared from most of the usual clutter. Helen made some progress, but there's still a lot to be done over the next week.
Helen stands up from giving Luna a hug. "How was your flight?"
"It was long long!" Luna dramatically groans. "But Daddy let me watch Bluey on the iPad."
The flight itself wasn't too bad," Max clarifies, "but the whole process is always a little exhausting. I'm really happy to be here."
"Munchkin, why don't you go show your dolly to your room?" Helen donated Luna's toddler bed last year, so she borrowed a porta-crib from an old coworker for the week. It will be a tight squeeze, but was pretty much the only option if Max and Helen want some alone time in bed. Helen ushers Luna upstairs, then collapses into Max's embrace, swaying in place. "I missed you," she breathes in his ear.
Immediately, Max's whole body relaxes, four hours of travel-induced tension gone, simply from Helen's touch. "I missed you too." Although the words don't quite do it justice. Helen makes Max feels both more alive and at peace than anyone ever has!
Not wasting any time, Helen rises on her tiptoes and hungrily captures Max's lips, the need for him growing with every passing second. Kissing Max always makes Helen feels lightheaded. She's love-drunk on him, and she can't get enough!
Max sinks into it, completely lost in the moment. He could get lost in her forever! They're not just kissing, they're full-on snogging! And he doesn't want to stop!
The sound of Luna's clunking footsteps coming back down the stairs brings Max to his senses, so he pulls back. "Hey, easy, tiger." As much as he wants Helen, they shouldn't start something they can't finish. "How 'bout we pick this up tonight?"
Helen tries to catch her breath, mouth still agape. Finally nearing the end of the first trimester, the unpleasant pregnancy symptoms are slowly phasing out. But they've been replaced by a sky-high libido, which wouldn't normally be an issue if not for the fact Max lives over six hundred miles away. All she can manage in reply is a small nod.
After settling in, Max sets up Luna to play with some toys by the window. While he makes some refreshing but hearty salad-and-grain bowls for lunch, Helen plops on the couch to do some technical finalizations for a job offer she recently accepted in Geneva. Originally, Max suggested he could try to get her a temporary job at W.H.O. until after her maternity leave. But Helen wanted to do something separate from Max, to still be her own person in the world of medicine without being dependent on him. So she found a job at a children's cancer clinic instead.
"Have you heard from Mina recently?" Max asks from across the room as he chops vegetables.
"Yes! Actually, she texted me a lovely birthday message last week! Her fall term is about to start, but she wants to visit after we're settled."
"That would be nice! It's been a while." Max would like the opportunity to redeem Mina's perception of him. "Although unless she's okay with sleeping on the couch, we might have to put her up in a hotel or hostel."
"Yes, I'll see what she would prefer. What would you think of that, Luna Munchkin?" Helen asks her little girl. "Would you like to see Mina again?"
"Who's that?"
"Mina is my niece, so she's sort of like your cousin, I suppose. She came here for dinner once. Do you remember?"
Luna just shakes her head. When Mina visited, Luna wasn't even three years old yet. Plus she went to bed shortly after dinner. So her memory of that specific night is a little foggy.
"I'll show you a picture later, maybe you'll recognize her." Helen turns her attention back to the laptop. Next in her employment paperwork, she needs to input her medical license number. It's not something she can recall off the top of her head, but the paperwork is upstairs. And she doesn't feel like getting up. "Max, could you do me a favor?"
Since he's not using the stove, Max can pause food preparations for a moment. "Yeah. What do you need?"
"Could you grab my medical license from my office? It's in the top left desk drawer."
"Sure. Be right back."
Out of everything to do for the move, the paperwork has, by far, been the most annoying. It's mind-numbing, tedious, and boring. At least with decluttering and packing things away, Helen can visibly see the progress. But she can only handle staring at the computer so long before it starts to give her a headache. To give her brain a break, Helen watches Luna playing with the small Doc McStuffins toy set she sent from London for the little girl's third birthday. Helen is grateful that Max never got rid of it even though it was probably a bitter reminder of her over the past year. It makes her wonder what other reminders of her he kept.
"Uhh, Helen? Can you come upstairs real quick?" Max calls from upstairs.
"Could you not find it?" Helen sent him because she didn't want to get up herself. "Check the other drawer."
"No, I found it. Just come upstairs please." Max's voice sounds anxious, but Helen tries not to overthink it.
"Yes, one moment." Helen stands and heads toward the stairs.
Luna looks up from her makeshift hospital. "Where you going, Mum?"
"I need to speak with your father about something."
"Can I come?" Luna stands, about to follow Helen, still worried about being separated from her.
"No, it's a private matter. Keep taking care of your doll. I'll be back shortly, okay?" Helen treks up the stairs and finds Max standing in the office. "What is it?" It takes her a moment to realize what he's holding: the tiny black velvet box she kept in the desk drawer. "Oh."
"You weren't planning on proposing to me anytime soon, were you?" Max attempts a laugh, trying to keep the tone light, but he's clearly concerned. "I found it while grabbing your medical license."
Helen takes the box from Max's hand and opens it, revealing her giant diamond-embedded ring. "I couldn't part with it."
"You kept it all this time?" Max is relieved that's all it is, but still confused. "Why?"
"I dunno. Sending it back to you would have been cruel, rubbing salt in the wound." The fact Max had the ring custom-made for her was so special! But that means he couldn't return it, nor does Helen think he would have sold it. She sets the ring box on the desk and pushes Max down into the chair, then sits on his lap, draping an arm around his neck. "But I suppose the main reason was that getting rid of it would have felt so… final. I didn't want to let you go completely. So I kept it as a way to feel close to you. I have some of Luna's artwork in the closet for the same reason."
Max stares at the ring a few seconds longer, then at Helen. "I kept your letter, you know."
"Really?"
"Yeah, at least until Elizabeth and I started seeing each other." Max remembers the moment all too well. During her first night at his place, Elizabeth found the letter in his nightstand drawer while looking for a place to put some of her things, and was understandably a little upset. To prove he wasn't still hung up on Helen, Max tore up the paper and threw it in the recycle bin. He expected to feel self-assured for getting rid of it. But all he felt was heart-wrenching grief and loss. In between hazy dreams of Helen, Max tossed and turned the whole night, unable to get rid of the gnawing sensation in his gut that said he made a mistake. "I couldn't let you go either. Even though I moved on, you left a permanent mark on me that I couldn't erase. I felt like a hollow shell without you."
Helen knows Max had every right to start dating again, but her mind is racing, wondering how things could have panned out very differently. If Max hadn't gotten the job in Geneva, would he and Elizabeth still be together? And if that was the case, this baby wouldn't exist. "How long were you together?"
"Well, we started seeing each other at the beginning of January, then I got the job offer in Geneva a month later, and we figured it best to call it off to keep things from getting messy. So I guess technically like five weeks?" The official breakup was a few days before Valentine's Day. Max felt as if he and Elizabeth were in a weird limbo before he and Luna moved in mid-March.
Early January? That's when I asked to see him in New York. Did that spark his decision? Helen probably shouldn't ask this, she's not sure she even wants to know the answer. "Did… did you… love her?"
If he did, Max isn't sure, because every other relationship he's ever had pales in comparison to his love for Helen. "No, I don't think so. And I'm not saying that to make you happy. Don't get me wrong, Elizabeth was great. I really cared about her, as both a friend and something more. But I don't think we were ever in love. At least, I wasn't."
Helen stares into Max's unwavering eyes, and she knows he's telling the truth. Although she can't help but prod a little more. "Did you have feelings for her when we were together?"
"What?! Oh, god, Helen, no! I only had eyes for you! How could you think that?!"
"It's not that absurd of a question! There was something between us before Georgia passed."
"That was totally different!" Emotional infidelity isn't a habit of Max's. The situation with Helen was a one-off. It only happened because of the magnetic bond they quickly formed upon meeting. "Look, after you left, I couldn't get you out of my head. The gang came over a lot last summer to keep me company, to pull me out of my funk. But Elizabeth was there for me the most. She was the only person who actually saw me and listened to how I was feeling. So we grew closer and it just kind of… happened."
Not feeling much better, Helen looks down, unable to hide the green monster of jealousy in her eyes. She doesn't know why she feels like this; she and Max ended up together. But hearing about him dating someone else makes her feel sick.
Max guides Helen's chin back towards him. "You're my whole heart, Helen! That never changed! Well, part of my heart belongs to Luna and this little nugget," he says, rubbing Helen's stomach. "But I'm completely yours. I always have been."
Max is staring at Helen with those ocean eyes again, peering deep into her soul! It sets her heart on fire! Helen leans in for a kiss, long, but soft and reassuring, then rests her forehead on Max's. "I'm sorry. These hormones still have me a bit out of sorts. Thank you for being patient with me."
"Always!"
Helen glances at the still-open ring box on the desk. It's been a bittersweet token over the past year, bordering on an unhealthy obsession. Maybe it's time to give it up. She snaps the box closed and hands it to Max. "As I said before, no proposals for a while; we're not there yet. But it feels odd having this now we're together again."
"Okay. Do you… want me to sell it or…"
"No! No, that's unnecessary. Just hang onto it," Helen realizes she's inexplicitly promising Max a lifetime together, but maybe it's inevitable; even if it weren't for the baby, she can't imagine a future without him, "and I'll let you know when I'm ready."
It's obvious they still need to work through some issues, hurt, and unresolved discussions, but Max is optimistic, given that Helen believes their relationship is heading toward marriage.
"'Nugget,' hmm?" Helen smirks, raising an eyebrow. "That's your nickname for our child?"
"What? I think it's cute! You've got 'Munchkin' for Luna. They sound good together."
7 p.m.
It's been a long, exhausting day for everybody. Between travel and packing up the flat, Luna didn't get a much-needed nap, so she gets a little cranky and overtired towards the end of the evening. To help calm her down, after dinner, Helen puts on some Cosmic Yoga, a British YouTube series that narrates children's stories through movement. Helen joins in alongside Luna, participating in some mother/daughter bonding. Luna is so tired, due in part to the one-hour time difference, that she falls asleep in the middle of the living room floor during Child's Pose. So Helen takes her upstairs and lays her in the porta-crib.
Upon returning downstairs, Max has just finished some dishes and tidying up, so he and Helen relax on the couch. An early night in isn't what Helen has in mind, but she needs a brief respite. Plus she wants to make sure Luna is soundly asleep first.
"How are you feeling about tomorrow?" Max asks, resting one hand on her stomach.
"I dunno. A bit nervous. But not as nervous as the last one." Even though they've already heard their baby's heartbeat, something could still go wrong. Helen's chance of miscarrying drops significantly when she hits twelve weeks, which is right around the corner. But since she's considered geriatric, that still puts her at a higher risk. "I just want our baby to be here already."
"I know." Max kisses Helen's temple in the hopes of bringing her some comfort. "I bet they're gonna look just like you! Freakin' adorable!"
Helen can't help but smile, reminded of when Max first brought up wanting to have a baby with her. Despite her fertility issues and chemo likely affecting his own, Max was his usual optimistic self. He kept her from going to place a doubting, of worst-case scenarios. He still does that for her. "They'll probably get your exuberant energy and sense of humor."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Helen smirks and replies, "It varies from day to day."
"Ouch," Max chuckles. A comfortable moment of silence passes before he says, "I'm gonna love our baby so much, no matter what they're like."
Helen meets Max's intense gaze, and it makes her heart race. She hopes their child gets his eyes. "Me too." They glance down at each other's lips, and Helen can't wait anymore. She leans in, closing the distance.
It doesn't take long before Max pulls Helen into his lap, raking his fingers under her shirt and up her back. He pulls her as close as she'll go, but it's not close enough. They still have a lot of making up for lost time to do.
Much to his dismay, Helen backs away and stands up, eyes ablaze with desire. But when Max tries to stand and follow, Helen pushes him back into the couch. She leans down, hands on his shoulders, and hovers her lips over his. "Give me a few minutes, then come to the bedroom." She gives Max one more brief, light kiss before heading up the stairs.
Max swears his heart is about to beat out of his chest! He's never been able to escape the effect Helen has on him, nor does he want to! No matter how long they've been apart or all he went through, Max is still completely out of his mind for Helen.
Over the past few weeks, neither Max or Helen have mentioned their lack of a sex life. With the distance, plus Helen not feeling well lately, it hasn't happened since the night they officially got back together. Max didn't want to make her feel guilty by bringing it up, nor did he want to assume anything about tonight. But now, he knows what Helen has planned.
"Alright, you can come up now," Helen calls from the second floor.
Trying to get his nerves in order, Max slowly climbs the stairs, then walks up to Helen's bedroom. The door is closed, so he thinks it best to knock. "Come in," Max hears from the other side of the wood. He opens the door and is in awe at the sight in front of him. Helen is standing by the bed wearing a thigh-high spaghetti-strapped silk nightgown with lace embroidery on the V-neck bust. She looks like royalty in the deep purple color! The room is lit with string lights, and Helen is glowing in their reflection! "Helen, you look… radiant!"
"I wanted tonight to be special."
"Every moment is special with you."
Butterflies go wild in Helen's stomach! Max always was, and still is, butterflies!
"You sure you're feeling up for it tonight?" Max begins, dragging his fingers down her bare arms.
Frustrated by his considerate nature, Helen grabs Max's face and drags it to hers, kissing him so passionately that there can be no doubt about what she wants. But she says it anyway, whispering it heavily into his ear. "Max, I need you! It's been too long."
Max doesn't wait to be told twice! Their lips lock again as Max's hands roam around every curve of Helen's body! Instead of her usual jasmine perfume, which is unsafe during pregnancy, she smells like orange and coconut, sweet and warm, yet refreshing.
Helen fumbles with the button on Max's jeans and pushes them halfway down his legs, annoyed by how many clothes he still has on. She drags off his shirt, reluctantly breaking the kiss for the three seconds it takes to get it over his head. Through the fabric of her own garment, Helen feels how warm Max's chest is. Warm and strong and safe. Being in his arms feels like home.
After kicking off his pants, Max scrunches the hem of Helen's nightgown, waiting until she raises her arm for the go-ahead. He slowly lifts it off, then takes a step back, gaping at Helen's near-naked form. Her breasts have grown probably a cup size since he last saw them, but Max's attention is focused much lower.
Blushing, Helen wraps her arms around herself, feeling unusually self-conscious and exposed. Has her body changed that much since their last time? "Why are you staring at me like that?"
"I think you're starting to show, babe! You've got a tiny bump!"
"I do?" Since Helen sees herself in the mirror most days, she doesn't notice the change. But she's almost twelve weeks along, so right on schedule.
"Yeah!" The growth is subtle, but it makes this all feel more real! Kneeling in front of her, Max presses his hands and lips to Helen's stomach. "You're so beautiful!" Even before they were together, Max couldn't help but wonder what a child between him and Helen would look like. And, in just six months, they finally get to find out!
Helen threads her fingers through Max's hair, partially to prevent her knees from giving out. His breath against her skin is driving her wild, and patience is wearing thin! "Let's get on with it already!"
Max pulls down Helen's underwear, then squeezes her buttcheeks and buries his nose where her thigh and hip meet. "If my lady insists."
Max sprawls Helen on the bed, and spends the next few minutes touching, kissing, and licking almost every inch of her body, still knowing exactly which ones make her toes curl! Although he's teasing her, avoiding her center. The throbbing between Helen's legs is maddening, and she can't take it anymore! Literally taking matters into her own hands, she grabs Max's shoulders and shoves him onto the mattress, tugs off his boxer briefs, then works his semi-hardened length up and down.
"Oh, Helen!" Max throws his head and arms onto the pillow behind him, surrendering to Helen, completely under her control. "You're a bloody minx!"
With a devious smirk, Helen leans in and kisses a trail down Max's abdomen, nipping just under his navel. Before she can go any lower, Max's hand cups her chin. "No! No more! Or I won't last!"
"We can't have that, can we?" Helen adjusts herself overtop Max's length, but she hovers there, barely brushing the tip as she threads her hands through Max's. "Do you love me?"
"Yes! God, woman, yes, I'm ridiculously in love with you!"
"Tell me you want me. Tell me you need me."
Max bucks his hips, but Helen presses his abdomen down with one hand, pinning his wrists above his head with the other. "Nothing compares to how you make me feel!" At first, Max only says it to get things moving. But he wants Helen to know. "I can't breathe when we're apart! I need to be with you, Helen! I need to be inside you! Please!"
It's Max's desperate, strained "please" that makes Helen cave. They've waited for this long enough! With a wet, sloppy kiss, she sinks down onto Max and rolls her hips, neither of them able to hold back gasps and moans of pleasure.
Helen is in utter bliss! Making love to Max feels so right! The sensations are so easy and familiar: the way they fit together; Max's hands on her hips; the look of adoration in his eyes! But she wants to feel more of Max, wants to feel him pressed up against her. "Come up here!"
Max eagerly sits up, using Helen's butt as leverage to help her with the rocking motion. At first, he kisses her jaw, her neck, her collarbone. But Helen hooks her elbows around his neck, grazing her nails down his back. "Hold me closer!"
Running his hands up her back, Max pulls Helen close so their chests are pressed together. Helen's breasts and stomach have filled out a little to prepare for and cushion the baby, softer and more supple than before, and it's so attractive! It elicits within Max the primal instinct to protect and take care of her, even though she's perfectly capable of doing that herself. "You feel so good, Helen! Your body is magnificent!"
Helen is nearing climax and unable to form a coherent sentence. So she kisses Max, mouths moving in a slow, deep, push-and-pull rhythm.
It still blows Helen's mind that she and Max made it here: that they found each other again and that she's having his baby! It makes Helen feel tethered to him in a way she didn't know was possible! She felt an inexplicable connection with Max ever since they met, but this baby is like an invisible string tying them together, solidifying their bond.
Helen's musings cause something inside her to snap. As her hips falter, Max flips Helen over, pinning her down and driving her over the edge. She links her ankles around Max's thighs, clenching her whole body around him as everything goes dark.
7:30 p.m.
Helen's brain is overflowing with dopamine and oxytocin, and she wants to stay in the sex-induced love haze just a little longer. So after using the bathroom, she crawls back into bed and lays across Max's chest, nestling one of her legs between his. Max drapes his left arm around Helen's bare back while his free hand absentmindedly roams around her soft stomach.
Helen is relieved that tonight marks the official start of their re-cohabitation. The last six weeks without Max have been difficult. It's not his fault, he supported her as much as he could. But Helen's hormones have been playing tricks on her mind, making her unsure where she had once been confident in regards to her body, her abilities, and her relationship with Max and Luna.
"I meant it," Max says seemingly out of nowhere.
"Hmm?" Helen tilts her head up to meet his eyes.
"Nobody compares to you. You really are irreplaceable." Max got along fine while hanging out with the gang. But in quiet moments, left alone with only his thoughts, his mind always drifted to Helen. He couldn't get rid of her, no matter how hard he tried. "I've never stopped thinking about you, never stopped loving you."
"Even…" Helen is afraid to ask, "even when you thought… I was responsible for the horrid parameters on the Lymphodril trial?"
"Yeah, even then. I wanted to hate you, to make things easier, but that was impossible." It fills Max with shame and regret. How could he ever think Helen could do something like that? "I really am sorry, Helen. I know you're better than that."
"Max, you've got to forgive yourself. You didn't know."
"But I should have." A memory flashes in Max's head from a little over three months after Georgia died. Out of selfishness and unwillingness to lose her, he begged Helen to back off of a lawsuit that might have ended her career, even though it would've helped thousands of patients. "Max, I am here for you, for all of it." A beat. "But not at the expense of my patient."
"It doesn't matter anymore. We've moved past that." Helen strokes his chest, assuring him all is well. "You're irreplaceable too."
"Yeah?" When Helen left, Max realized maybe he was the problem, the self-centered antihero in his own story. He never looked in the mirror long enough to see his own issues. The work he's put into his own personal growth has been difficult, but Max knows he can do anything with Helen at his side.
"Mm-hmm. After Muhammad passed, everything in Oncology reminded me of him. Every death brought my grief back in full force. So out of self-preservation, I numbed myself to it all." To self-soothe, Helen toys with the hair at the base of Max's head. She doesn't like talking about that time in her life. "Doing so may have kept out pain, but it also kept out joy and love. Then you came into my life and opened up my heart in ways I was never able to with anyone else."
Meeting Helen was one of the best and most influential days of Max's life! "I saw you were hurting and thought you could use a friend. It just took a little convincing to get you back in the hospital. I wasn't too harsh, was I? With that ultimatum?"
"No, you pushed me when I needed it." He pushed her again after their first time together two years ago. Helen was scared, tempted to rip the band-aid off and run, her go-to move when things got difficult. But Max knew what they had was worth fighting for. "I still need you. You're it for me, Max, my greatest love. If we hadn't gotten back together, I can't imagine settling down with anyone else." Too late, Helen realizes how that last bit might have sounded. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you… I'm not judging you for moving on, I just—"
"Hey, Helen, it's okay," Max hums, caressing her face. "I know you didn't mean anything by it." Studies show that men have a harder time being content on their own than women. Maybe he was weak. "If it makes you feel any better, we wouldn't have lasted… me and Elizabeth, even if I stayed in New York. We were too similar. And I couldn't stop comparing it to what you and I had. That was unfair to her. She wouldn't want to be my second choice."
"Oh gosh, I thought I was your first choice!" Helen jokes in feigned offense, but is still adamant about turning down Max's petition that she join the New Amsterdam board.
"First in… my heart." Max hears the implication of the words as they tumble out of his mouth.
She isn't normally a jealous person, but hearing Max and Wilder's relationship was doomed from the start gives Helen a petty feeling of victory. "Good." She settles her head back on Max's chest and roams her hand around his torso.
"Helen? I'm really glad you came back. Well, technically, you came to Gevena. But back to me, I meant. I'm sure you got it."
Helen quietly chuckles, realizing how much she missed Max's rambles. "Me too, luv."
End notes: I'm nearing the end of this story. Maybe another 2 chapters and an epilogue. Thank you for all your support! I'm so glad I could fix the disaster that was season 5 and bring justice to our Helen!