XXX
Shen Qingqiu's mind continued to feel hazy for a long time, though he couldn't quite tell exactly how long. He just knew that he felt sick and confused, and his stomach hurt worse than it had in many years. His soul kept fluttering as well, feeling as though it wanted to shatter and dance around the room.
Eventually, though, the confusion faded enough to leave him painfully aware of that, and also painfully aware of the demon who had been sitting at his bedside.
The demon who he caught grinning at him before his eyes fully opened.
Before he could shout at him, though, his stomach lurched again, and he shot up to throw up a blob of bile into the bowl that appeared under him. It took a few heaves before he was able to sit back and collect himself.
Yes, he definitely felt like complete shit.
"Shizun?" Luo Binghe asked with false concern. "How are you feeling today?"
He couldn't help wrapping his arms around his stomach, already feeling like he might throw up again.
"Fffuck you."
The demon blinked at him.
"Ah, so you're aware of who I am again," Luo Binghe noted. "That's good. You're a little better then, at least."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Shen Qingqiu wanted to lay back down, but he would much prefer facing the demon lord sitting up, at least. He wasn't exactly eager to go back to the days when he couldn't even sit up on his own.
The demon lord gave him a once-over, as if he was looking for something.
"You've been quite sick the past few days," Luo Binghe explained. "I don't think you even knew where you were, and you've been vomiting a lot."
Shen Qingqiu glared at the other man.
"Ha. I should have known better."
This statement seemed to confuse him, as his head tilted slightly, like a dog.
"Should have known better about what, Shizun?"
"Like you don't know."
Luo Binghe crossed his arms.
"I don't," he affirmed. "But I would like you to explain it, considering that you've been half-delusional for the better part of a week."
Shen Qingqiu could feel the sour feeling rising up in the back of his throat again.
"I should have known you were going to poison me," Shen Qingqiu spat. "What, is it more amusing for you to watch me consume the poison myself?"
His stomach churned.
Luo Binghe stared at him for a long moment, his eyes slightly wider than usual. He gave Shen Qingqiu another visual assessment.
"Poison?" he eventually said. "I didn't poison you. You're sick."
His mouth began to fill with saliva.
"Liar!"
"If I wanted to poison you, I would have done it already. I wouldn't have done it right after I came back and you hadn't eaten for over a week already, anyway," Luo Binghe argued. "As it is, you've thrown up just about everything I've managed to get you to swallow, so really, this is terrible timing for you to be ill, because now it's been almost two weeks of you barely eating or drinking."
It felt like someone had shoved their hand into his stomach and started squeezing it.
"And before you continue with your accusations, I'm sure no one else poisoned it, and the food wasn't spoiled," he continued. "You just got sick. It happens, Shizun."
No longer able to hold it back, Shen Qingqiu grabbed the bowl again, hating that the little beast was seeing him like this. He hated it even more when Luo Binghe brushed his hair away from his face.
"F-Fucking… demon…," Shen Qingqiu cursed once the nausea had passed, acid burning his throat.
Luo Binghe sighed and moved the bowl away.
"You're not poisoned," he repeated. "You're ill, starving, and dehydrated. And now that you're fully awake, we're going to work on that."
He turned to grab a tray containing a bowl of congee, some water, and another little cup of mysterious liquid.
Shen Qingqiu leveled him with an incredulous look.
"You're a r-real idiot if you think I'm going to eat again after you poisoned me."
"You're not poisoned," Luo Binghe insisted again, clearly getting frustrated. "And you are going to eat and take your medicine. I'm only giving you one chance to do it yourself, and then I'm going to make you. Which is it?"
He made no move to take the offered tray. Luo Binghe gritted his teeth.
"Fine, then."
XXX
Shen Qingqiu's recovery continued to take much longer than Luo Binghe would have preferred. Though him being awake made it easier to force him to eat and drink, he still threw up a lot of it for another day or two. Being awake also let him create much more of a fuss. Being ill had clearly put Shen Qingqiu in a bad mood, and the man spat and fought more than he had since before he died.
It was exhausting, really, and if Luo Binghe wasn't half-convinced the man would drop dead if left to his own devices, he would have left him alone most of the day. As it was, though, he was spending much more time than usual with him in the room, even bringing some of his paperwork to do while he kept an eye on him.
Really, it was far too much like babysitting.
Babysitting a cranky brat, too.
Yesterday, Shen Qingqiu had pretended that he was going to eat by himself, only to toss the food onto the floor. Luo Binghe strongly considered making him lick it up, but that might have made him get sicker, so he ultimately chose not to. But it was so. Tempting. Offering books didn't work a second time, either, as Shen Qingqiu was still fully convinced Luo Binghe was poisoning him, fueled by the fact that he was still sick and being forced to eat.
Sometimes, he wondered why he put up with this, why he allowed it when stopping the man was so simple, when he could simply leave and let him suffer alone. But then his former teacher would do something amusing enough to remind him of his goal, and Luo Binghe would sigh and hold himself back from tearing an arm off.
But slowly, his Shizun did recover. He stopped vomiting, and his fever went away.
His attitude sure didn't, though.
"I hope one of your wives stabs you in your sleep."
All Luo Binghe had done was suggest that Shen Qingqiu should take a nap if was feeling so cranky. The idea had even been half-genuine.
"My wives would prefer stabbing you over me, you know."
"Good."
He sighed.
"That doesn't mean I'll let them. Even if they knew you were here, they know better than to disobey me."
Shen Qingqiu scoffed.
"Don't your wives wonder where it is that you go?" Shen Qingqiu asked bitterly. "Or your advisors? Do you truly not have anything better to do but sit here in this room for the sake of your own amusement?"
"I have plenty of things to do," Luo Binghe answered. "This just happens to be one of them."
He briefly lifted his eyes from the document he was reading.
"I'd have to spend far less time here if you actually cooperated, you know."
"You think I care if I waste your time?"
"No," Luo Binghe huffed. "But Shizun clearly doesn't want me around, so."
Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes.
"You'll do what you want, anyway."
"Hmm."
XXX
Despite the lifting of the poison, Shen Qingqiu continued to feel quite agitated. Not that he ever really stopped being agitated, especially with the little beast around, but this was even worse than usual. His hands shook, and his heart skipped, and he felt like it was hard to even think sometimes. When Luo Binghe wasn't around, he would pace, and when he was especially desperate to get rid of the excess energy, he'd even spin around.
Luo Binghe had never taken that book back, even though Shen Qingqiu hadn't willingly eaten a bite since the day it was offered to him. He wondered if the man forgot about it, but it was still sitting on the table, so surely he was aware of it. Not that it mattered- Shen Qingqiu had picked it up a few times but never got further than a few lines of text before he found himself putting it back down again.
In a way, not being tortured was dull.
At the beginning, he'd been busy trying to figure out how to have a body again, and then he'd been focused on what Luo Binghe would do to him. After that, he was sick (poisoned), and he hadn't been able to focus on much else. Now, though, things had sort of stagnated. Luo Binghe would show up, force him to eat and sometimes bathe and brush his hair. Then, they would usually have some kind of back-and-forth about something. Sometimes, Luo Binghe would bring documents to deal with, and other times he'd just watch him. And then the demon lord would leave to tend to his empire and wives, and Shen Qingqiu would pace and spin and stare at the walls.
He felt like he was waiting for nothing.
After all, he still didn't have a clear picture of what Luo Binghe wanted or when this game would end. For all he knew, it could go on for years before the man grew tired of it. And it's not like there was anything for Shen Qingqiu to look forward to. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, nothing to motivate him to endure, no promise or even hope that his circumstances would change for the better or that he would be saved.
He just… existed at this point, and for someone who had spent most of his life clawing his way up from the bottom, remaining stagnant was a form of torture in itself.
One day, he suddenly felt quite angry about it all, and rather than screaming to no one as he sometimes did, he found himself slamming a fist into the floor, making the side of his hand cry out in pain for a second. He hissed and breathed for a moment, and then…
He slammed his hand down again.
And again.
And again.
By the time he was done, a bruise was forming there, spreading up his pinky finger and stopping near his wrist. It made flexing his hand hurt, but he didn't really care.
Finally taking in a deep breath, He sat back and stared up at the ceiling.
XXX
Luo Binghe ran the comb through Shen Qingqiu's hair, trying to keep it from getting tangled in the first place. At this point, his Shizun was able to brush his own hair, but Luo Binghe had continued to do it anyway, mostly because he still found the man's reactions to being 'babied' hilarious.
For example, today, Shen Qingqiu had attempted to grab the comb out of his hands when he was halfway done, as Luo Binghe hadn't bothered using the parasites once Shen Qingqiu was finished eating. He'd actually managed to get ahold of it, Luo Binghe having been distracted, and thrown the item across the room. It hit the opposite wall with a small thunk and clattered to the floor.
"Oh, I didn't realize Shizun had formed such a vendetta against that comb," he chuckled. "Did you want revenge on it for pulling your hair so much?"
"Ssshut up, beast," Shen Qingqiu growled.
He didn't offer any reasoning for throwing the comb, and Luo Binghe assumed he did it just to be difficult. Again, though he would have to go retrieve it, it was a little funny to see how his once-composed Shizun just continued to break his own mask in his anger.
The moment of amusement, however, was short-lived, as the act of throwing the comb had made Shen Qingqiu's hand slip out of his sleeve. Come to think of it, the man had been keeping his hands hidden in his sleeves a lot the past few days.
And now, he could see why,
There was a half-healed bruise on one side of his hand, going down from his pinky toward his wrist but not extending over the palm.
Without thinking, he grabbed it and brought the hand closer to his face to inspect it, also pulling up the sleeve to see if there were any other further up his arm.
"Why is your hand bruised?" Luo Binghe questioned darkly, not even quite sure himself why he was mad.
Something about other people damaging his property, he thought.
Shen Qingqiu winced a little at the bruise being pressed into, but that was the only bit of reaction he got.
"I tripped and fell onto it the other day," he answered. "Honestly, do you think I'm made of porcelain now? Why are you making such a big deal over something so small?"
Luo Binghe gazed at him suspiciously, wondering if he was actually telling the truth or not, and if he wasn't, what the goal was. In the end, he let go of the hand. He doubted any of his servants would have come in to injure the man, and if they did, it would not be such a small bruise alone. Even still, it was an odd place to bruise for a fall. He would have had to fall with his arm in front of him with his pinky facing outward. He could bruise it that way, but wouldn't there also be a bruise higher on his arm as well then? Such a dark bruise must have resulted from a good deal of force. It looked like the hand was the only point of contact, but if that were the case, it would have been more likely for him to land on his palms. It looked like…
"… Did you slam your hand into something?" Luo Binghe asked, voice dangerous.
Shen Qingqiu's face remained the same.
"No."
He was lying. Definitely lying.
"Yes the fuck you did!"
He slid his hand back into his sleeve, as though he didn't want Luo Binghe to look at it.
"Why are you asking if you're just going to come to your own conclusions?!"
"Is it really so difficult to not cause harm to yourself?!"
The man's expression grew dark.
"Says the man who tortured me!"
"Says the man who abused me!"
"Well, I'm not the one putting on some farce of being a nursemaid!" Shen Qingqiu hissed.
Luo Binghe growled.
"Do I have to keep you tied up?!" he asked angrily. "You'd think that removing anything dangerous from a room would keep you from hurting yourself, but leave it to Shen Qingqiu to find some way to make things worse for himself because he's a fucking idiot!"
"Go ahead!" the older man spat. "You've already done it once! Who cares if you do it again?!"
Luo Binghe stood so he could look down on him more easily. He knew it wouldn't work to try to intimidate him this way, but he felt better doing it.
"Are you really so eager to go back to being tortured?!" he yelled. "Why is it so fucking hard for you to just cut it out and not be a bitter little self-destructive idiot for once?! I swear, someone could be a saint to you, and you would still find some way to be angry about it"
He shook his head, almost incredulous.
"Seriously, sometimes I really do think you actually preferred being tortured," Luo Binghe asked. "Except I can tell that the thought of returning to that terrifies you. So, why do you keep trying to convince me to hurt you again? Have I accidentally turned you into some kind of masochist?!"
Suddenly, Shen Qingqiu stood up, and Luo Binghe felt a sharp sting in his cheek. It was hard, but not enough to phase the demon lord. Even still, Luo Binghe felt his own rage spike, and he grabbed Shen Qingqiu tightly by the wrist. It seemed like Shen Qingqiu would end up with another bruise after all.
"There you go again!" Luo Binghe shouted. "Do you seriously want me to hit you back?!"
"Well, why won't you?!" Shen Qingqiu spat in reply. "I fucking hate you!"
Shen Qingqiu tried to pull his hair with his free hand, but Luo Binghe caught it just as easily. With a growl, he shoved the man back down onto the bed and hovered over him, glaring down at him with bared teeth. His Shizun returned the glare and tried to free himself, though it was yet another pointless attempt.
Shen Qingqiu was breathing heavily, his eyes wide yet still enraged, and Luo Binghe couldn't tell if he was more angry or afraid, though he would guess the former if he had to. But then, stopped struggling suddenly, and with a pointed look, he began to dig his fingernails into the palms of his hands.
Was he serious?!
"Cut that out!"
Angrily, he activated the blood parasites and forced the man's hands open, revealing small, bleeding wounds. Then, he had them freeze the man entirely, preventing him from moving or speaking at all.
He got up, smoothing his robes as he stood.
"If Shizun wants to throw a tantrum, then he's going to be put in time-out," Luo Binghe informed him.
Feeling like he'd somehow failed at something, he left the room without another word, making sure to grab the comb from the floor.
XXX
I actually practiced fake-falling to check how hard it would be to get such a bruise, and the answer is 'pretty hard'. Most of the time, you'd instinctively put both hands out forward, and if you DID fall where you'd bruise the pinky area at the side of your hand, it's very hard to not also hit your elbow or higher up your arm. Can confirm from real falls, too, since I fall a lot. The last real fall that would've hit my pinky made me contact the floor pretty much from my hand up to my shoulder. And you'd have to fall pretty hard to bruise it badly enough for what happened here.
Was this really an important detail to research myself? Maybe not, but I did it lol. I'm not testing out most of the other things in this fic, though, because I'd end up in the hospital haha.
XXX