Belly
I didn't go back to the beach house at first. But after a week of Taylor begging me to save her from a house of boys, I gave in. We're a family, I can't avoid Jere forever.
I got a job waitressing at a local restaurant to start replenishing my savings, and did my best to stay away from the Fishers.
Except today is my birthday. And they planned a party.
I came downstairs to find Jeremiah had made pancakes. My heart clenched, and I felt my eyes burn with tears.
Jere looked alarmed. "Fuck-i- I'm sorry. Should I not have made birthday breakfast? It's just.. I always have. I didn't want to take that away after I ruined everything else. Bells? Please don't cry. I'm sorry. Bells- I am so sorry." His voice cracked. That's my Jeremiah. That's the boy I have always known standing there. My best friend. Not the man that cheated on me and broke my heart. I took a deep breath and took a step forward. I wiped at the tears on my cheeks. "Please talk to me…" He whispered, stepping closer to me as well.
"I don't know how to anymore.. I don't even know who you are when I look at you.." I said quietly.
The tears came to his eyes now. Eyes so blue… the same blue they had always been, but now they made Belly feel cold when she looked into them. Not safe.
"I can fix this. Please. Just let me try."
I cleared my throat. Be strong Isabel. "We can't fix it, Jere. But maybe one day we can get past it." He stared at me for a long time before nodding and walking away. I hear the front door open and shut before seeing his car pull out of the driveway.
I sighed and started cleaning up the mess he had made in the kitchen. Always cleaning up his mess.
I was putting the eggs and stack of pancakes in the fridge when I heard the sink turn on. I turned to find Conrad had started washing the dishes. We didn't speak, just cleaned up side by side.
I turned to head back up to my room, but I slipped on the wet floor. Groaning, I opened my eyes to see a sheepish Conrad still holding the mop as leaned over me with his hand out. "You okay?"
I just kept laying there. "No. No Con, I'm really not." I sighed, and began to sit up. This is all too familiar.
"Did you hit your head?" He put the mop away and squatted next to me. He looked so sincere. He reached out to brush the hair from my face and looked into my eyes.
I pushed him back and stood. "Nah, not this time Dr. Fisher. You can't keep running to my rescue everytime I fall."
He chuckled, and stood as well. "Doctor Fisher. I like it." I rolled my eyes. Of course. He moved closer. "Do you want to play doctor with me, Isabel?" He whispered in my ear. His breath against my neck made me shiver. Then he leaned back against the counter and his eyes softened "Maybe if I learned to catch you, you wouldn't keep falling." Why is he looking at me like that? He's so close. Just one step away. Walk away Belly. Walk away.
I take a step forward, knowing I shouldn't and lean against Conrad. Our noses are nearly touching now. My heart is pounding. I feel him still against me, and smirk. He didn't expect this. "Catch me if you can," I whisper, and take off running.
It takes a second before he catches on to the game. He's quick though, and I had barely made it out the door before I could hear his footsteps behind me. I ran harder, getting closer now to the dock. I know I can't out run him much longer though, so I change course at the last second and jump into the pool, cannonballing and letting it splash Conrad. I surfaced to find him standing there, shocked and soaking wet. I laughed then, harder than I had in a long time. He grinned and sat down on the edge, letting his feet dangle in. I splashed him again, laughing when he flipped me off. It felt nice to get a win, even a small one.
As soon as Taylor realized where I was, she dragged me out of the pool to start getting ready. I didn't have it in me to fight her, and she took full advantage. Two hours later, I didn't recognize myself. But I looked good. And it made me feel good. Whoever this girl in the mirror is, she isn't sad. Tonight, I won't be sad.
"Thanks, Tay. It looks great."
"Hell yeah you do! You look hot!" She smacked my ass and then grabbed my hand to pull me behind her.
"Dang Bellybutton! You look good, you cretin." I rolled my eyes. Brothers. Steven was walking out of his room as we came out of the bathroom.
"Thanks Steven." Taylor smacked his arm.
"What about me?" She pouted.
Steven grinned and leaned down and kissed her. "You know you look gorgeous. You always do."
"Barf." I said, and pretended to gag at their PDA. Then I laughed and headed downstairs.
Skye was sitting on the couch talking to Cam and Conrad. No Jeremiah in sight. I am so relieved to not see him that I almost feel guilty about it. I shake the feeling and throw myself down next to Connie, joining in on their conversation.
"So you guys have been seeing each other since the uh… for sale debacle?" Conrad asked Skye and Cam.
They were a cute couple. But it makes sense Conrad didn't know. He could be so oblivious sometimes.
"Yeah," Cam said. "We just kinda bonded that weekend with the boardwalk tournament and the golf course camping." He laughed like he had told a joke. Maybe he had, because Skye had laughed as well.
"What about you, cuz?" Skye asked, "You seeing anyone? Got a partner back at Stanford?"
I think I stopped breathing. "Ah, no. No girlfriend." I stared at him. Liar.
"No girlfriend?" I laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm sure you are seeing someone."
He looked at me confused. "Nope. Noone." I rolled my eyes and stood up. Liar, liar pants on fire.
"I'm going to grab a drink," I say, forcing a smile. I can feel his eyes burning into me as I try not to literally run away from him. He can not find out I literally stalked him across the country.
More and more people are arriving, and Taylor is having the time of her life playing host. Anika had arrived at some point and was waving me over as she and Nichole were pouring shots. It was strange how normal everything felt. It shouldn't be this easy to be so happy right now, not when my heart should be broken. Not when Jere wasn't even here. But tonight I am the girl from the mirror. The new Belly.
Laughing, I stumbled over to where Skye was DJing. "Hey, I know you don't do requests…. Buuuuutttt can I do one birthday request? Pleasssseeeeee?"
Laughing, they nodded and so I leaned in and asked for the one song that would really make this the best party of the year. Skye laughed even harder before announcing that the next song was a special summer song.
The intro to Getting Even with Steven started playing. I laughed and hopped up to dance with my friends while my brother grumbled in the corner as Conrad was teasing him. I twirled myself around until I bumped into a rock solid body. His cologne filled my nose and squeezed my heart. Jere. I stopped and looked up into his eyes. They were bloodshot, and I could smell beer on his breath. We stared at each other for what felt like eternity. The song changed, breaking the spell. It was No Goodbyes by Dua Lipa. I smiled, but it hurts.
"Jere.. Do you want to dance?" He closed his eyes and leaned his head against mine, wrapping his arms around me.
"Happy birthday Bells." He said, swaying back and forth. He's holding onto me like I am his lifeline, and I wrap myself closer to him.
Maybe one day I'll see you
Just smile and wave and be okay
For tonight
Let's love like there's no goodbyes
For tonight
Pretend that it's all alright
The song was a little too fitting. Like Skye had somehow planned this. "Can we pretend for tonight, Jere? Pretend that we aren't breaking each other's hearts?" He nuzzled his face into my neck and I could feel his hot tears against my skin.
"Anything for you Bells. Anything."
The song ended and he pulled away to look at me. I reached up and wiped away his tears.
"We aren't done dancing yet, besides this is sorta our song." It was Best Friend by Saweetie. I step back slightly and catch Taylors eye, motioning for her to come join us. Jere rolls his eyes, but laughs as we line up and start dancing. We spent an entire week trying to get all three of us in sync last winter break. Now it came to us with ease, with Taylor subtly switching our roles so that she stood between Jere and I so that I don't have to grind on him like we had before. To give her credit, Taylor didn't say one word about her and Jere dancing together. We danced to a few more songs before all the shots caught up and the room started spinning. I excused myself before making my way outside to lay in the grass. Steven must have seen me, because he threw himself down next to me.
"You're drunk Jelly Belly," He teased. I laughed.
"Very." I agree.
"Are you having a good birthday?"
I smiled. "Yeah," I rolled onto my side to look at my big brother. "I really am."
"Look… I know my opinion doesn't mean much," his voice was serious now. "And I love Jere, you know I do. But Belly, what he did. That's not okay. So if you want to forgive him, I get it. But I have to at least say this one time, even if you don't remember it tomorrow." He sits up, looking uncomfortable.
"I don't want to hear it." I whispered. "It doesn't matter Steven." I'm slurring my words, but I can't make my mouth say what my heart needs to. That I am not getting back with Jeremiah. So it doesn't matter.
"It does, Belly. It does matter. Jere loves you, there is no denying that. And I am so fucking sorry for what I am about to say. But he isn't IN love with you." I sat up then, glaring at him. "You were always just another competition with Con for him." I open my mouth to tell him to fuck off, but he held up his hand. "And you aren't in love with him. It was just easier with him and you needed easy after Conrad hurt you. I wanted to say this to you for so long… But it felt like it wasn't right to take away the happiness you made. And maybe it wasn't right to say it tonight. But even after Jere cheated on you, you still weren't half as sad as you were about Conrad. So tell me I am wrong, but you know deep down that I'm not."
I sat there for awhile, processing. We don't have serious conversations very often. So I know this was hard for him. "Steven," I said finally. "I'm going to be sick." And then I threw up in his lap.