"Hey Cap", I answer the phone. I'm getting ready for bed, I had just put my pajama shorts and tank top on and was about to brush my hair when my phone rang.
"Hey, just wanted to check in and see how you and my pet sperm are doing", I can hear the mischief in his voice.
"Cap, I told you we're not calling her that", I groan with a laugh. I catch a glimpse of myself in my mirror, my stomach protruding out from the waistband of my pink and white pajama shorts. "Wow I think I really popped. I'm standing in front of my mirror right now and I look huge".
"Well you're 25 weeks, you're over halfway there", Cappie says. "It's getting more and more real".
"Every time she kicks me it feels very very real", I laugh.
"I wish I could feel her kick, I still haven't", Cappie says with a sigh.
"Well she mostly kicks at night. Especially when I'm trying to go to sleep, it's the most inconvenient time", I say.
It's too bad that Cappie hasn't felt the baby yet. If we were a normal couple sleeping in the same bed every night then he would be here every time she kicks me silly. But that wasn't the case obviously.
"I still have to take the photo for this week", Cappie reminds me.
He's been taking pictures of my bump with my digital camera because I've been putting together a scrapbook. Even though this wasn't planned and wasn't exactly a happy thing at first, I still wanted to document it. If she asked me years down the road what it was like, what me and her dad looked like when she was born, what she looked like in my tummy, I wanted to be ready to show her. I didn't want to hide it in shame like I felt like I was doing in Chicago over the summer.
"Well maybe you can come over tomorrow", I suggest.
"Tomorrows our homecoming party but yeah, I could blow it off", Cappie says like it's no big deal. As if a homecoming party wasn't what Cappie lived for.
"Oh yeah I forgot about that. Don't worry about it, you and the guys should have fun", I say.
I don't talk about how I worry about him being there with a ton of girls, all of them not having a pregnant belly sticking out.
To be fair, most girls in the Greek system knew that me and Cappie were having a baby by now. I mean at first word spread that I was pregnant, and obviously the fact that I couldn't hide my belly if I tried didn't help.
Once it was pretty well confirmed I was with child, people just seemed to just assume it was Cappie's. And the KTs weren't exactly stealthy secret keepers, they'd probably let it slip. It was fine anyways, me and Cappie weren't hiding it.
"You could come too. Contrary to popular belief, we actually do have nonalcoholic beverages… somewhere in the back of the freezer with the cobwebs", Cappie says with a laugh.
"No it's okay, being 25 weeks pregnant and going to a frat party rager don't really mix", I scoff. "Not to mention all the looks I would get and people asking me a bunch of questions about everything".
That was the real reason I didn't really want to go. I couldn't handle everyone asking what my plans were, if me and Cappie were back together, how my parents reacted. Being the pregnant girl in college actually garnered quite a bit of curiosity from people. Everyone wanted to know my business. And I didn't really have answers to most of their questions, which only made me more stressed that I was most likely completely in over my head.
"I'd fight off anyone annoying you", Cappie says with a laugh.
"I know you would", I smile and sit down on my bed. "But don't worry, I'm good here".
"Okay", Cappie nods. "Maybe I'll just stay for a bit and come over there after… you know if you wanted me to".
He says that last part like it's hard to get out, like he's treading lightly.
"Don't worry about me. Me and baby girl will be fine here by ourselves", I say with a smile as I touch my stomach.
"Okay. Well Goodnight Case, sleep good. And remember to take your vitamins", He reminds me.
"I already did", I say with a laugh at the fact that Cappie kept reminding me every single day.
"Good", he says and I can imagine the grin on his face. "Goodnight then".
"Goodnight!", I say and we hang up.
I turn around and realize that Ash had walked in the room at some point. Her wet hair up in a towel, wearing a pink robe.
She's giving me a look.
"What?", I question as I lay down on my bed with my feet up.
"Nothing", She says with a shrug.
"Ash", I groan with a roll of my eyes. "I know your judgey look when I see it and I know why you're judging, but me and Cappie being friends is a good thing".
"Yeah it would be a good thing, except I don't smile and blush like that when I talk to my friends", Ashleigh says gesturing to my face and then crosses her arms across her chest.
I glare at her for a moment.
"We're having a baby together alright… we've become close again. That's better for the baby than hating each other", I argue.
"Sorry, you're right. I'm just trying to look out for you and my goddaughter Case, because you and Cappie have never really been just friends, ever", she says.
"Well don't worry, it's not like we're gonna hook up or anything, he hasn't even made a move on me. I really think he's just as serious as I am about making sure we do things right for the baby", I say.
"Well good. You know I was wrong about Cappie", Ash says as she brushes her hair. "Last spring when you found out you were pregnant I was pretty sure that if you kept the baby there was no way Cappie would step up. But he's proved me wrong. You're probably the only girl he would step up to have a baby with".
Ashleigh scoffs slightly when she says that last part and I look at her slightly confused.
"You know what I mean, if it was any other girl he got pregnant I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be as into it as he is right now. But that guy has always loved you… more than anything", She says.
I smile slightly at her words. I shouldn't, but I wanted to be that one and only for Cappie.
I don't know what to say in response so I just throw the pillows off my bed so I can get into it.
"Do you still love him?", She says quietly and I turn around to face her.
I sigh then.
Should I tell her the truth? Or tell her what I want to be true?
"I… I kind of can't imagine a day that I won't Ash", I come clean. "But that doesn't… that doesn't mean that we should be together".
Ash comes over to me then and pulls me in for a hug.
"You told me the truth", She says with a grin.
"It's you, of course I did. You're the only one I'll tell though", I say to her, serious.
"My lips are sealed", She says.
"This doesn't change anything anyway. Me and Cappie certainly aren't going to get together now. Maybe in the future… I don't know", I shrug.
"You're not going to tell him then?", She asks.
"No…", I shake my head. "It's more important right now to just keep what we have. Anything else… well anything else would complicate things before she even gets here. We're better off just being friends like we are now".
Ash smiles at me then.
"You're gonna be a really good mom Case", she says and almost looks as though she's going to cry. "You're already putting her needs above your own".
I shrug like it's no big deal.
"Well… I have to. I don't know what it is, but as soon as I decided to keep her… I knew every decision from there on out was going to be about what's best for her", I say. "Even if it means I can't tell Cappie how I feel".
"Well it's still better to love the guy that you're having a baby with than not right?", Ash points out.
"Yeah", I nod, pulling the covers over me. "You're right about that".
"Everything's gonna work out Case", Ashleigh says softly. "So many people care about this little girl already. And you and Cappie are a good team, friends or not".
"Thanks Ash. I'm so happy you're here", I say. "And I'm trying really hard not to cry right now".
Ash laughs.
"Right, hormones".
It's 2 o'clock in the morning now and I still haven't been able to sleep.
I'm laying here, frustrated, and uncomfortable as ever. I'm only getting to the stage this past week where it truly feels uncomfortable to lay on my side. I feel like a whale every time I move around in my bed. And the baby jabbing me in my ribs every so often doesn't help. But there's also a part of me that can't complain. At least I'm feeling her, that means she's okay in there.
Beside me Ashleigh snores. It's something that I've been used to these past few years living with Ash, but I did slightly miss having this small room to myself. Her air mattress was pretty close to my bed. Between her and the baby I knew I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon, so I may as well give up.
I get out of bed then and quietly make my way down to the kitchen.
Even though I had had a decent dinner, I was starving. So hungry that I would eat practically anything sweet we had in this house. Ice cream was what I was really craving though. Or a milkshake. Either one.
I open the freezer to see it mostly bare and a groan escapes my mouth. Frozen peas, popsicles and a frozen chicken pot pie.
None of those would do for my cravings.
I would be more annoyed if I weren't the sole reason we were low on food at the moment. I was still getting used to being the one that was responsible for keeping up with groceries for the house.
Giving up on finding any ice cream, I make my way over the the couch. It's kind of peaceful being down here alone while everyone is asleep. I get comfortable on the couch and then stare down at my phone.
Would he be awake?
He was actually going to all his classes now, even the early ones, so there was a good chance that he was actually asleep.
Part of me didn't really care. I was hungry, literally starving, and couldn't sleep partly because of him. And it's not like he had to deal with growing a full on baby that used your body like a jungle gym at night.
I click on his name, not really caring if I woke him up. He was always telling me to call him anytime, night or day. So I was holding him to his word now.
After two rings I hear his voice. Groggy and confused, but it's him.
"Hello?"
"Cappie, it's me", I say.
"Is something wrong? Are you okay?", He says immediately and I can hear him springing into action, worry in his voice.
"Don't worry", I say right away. "I'm fine, the baby's fine. I'm just… I can't sleep".
"Oh… okay", He says.
"And I'm starving. Like so hungry Cap, you would not believe", I say.
He begins to laugh then.
"This is a serious crisis", I say. "We have like no good food here".
"Aren't you the one that buys the food?"
"Just stay on the task at hand okay!", I moan.
"Which is?", I can hear the smirk in his voice.
"That your kid is making me want ice cream like right this second", I say.
"It can't wait till morning?"
I think about it for a second.
"No", I say finally, sternly. "And it's not me, it's the baby. And you're the one whose kind of responsible for the baby, therefore you should be the one to help me".
"Wow, you would be good in law school", he laughs. "But I'm pretty sure you had some part in the getting pregnant thing".
"Fine", I sigh. "It was my fault too, but I'm the one growing her. And I need ice cream".
"Okay", he laughs. "Well… what kind do you want?"
"Seriously?", I start to smile, not actually thinking he would get me any when I initially called him.
"Yeah, you made a good point. I don't have to actually do anything right now while you're pregnant to help grow the baby, you're going all the work. And I'm also the one who didn't pack enough condoms", he says and I can picture him with that mischievous grin he does.
I giggle then.
"Exactly what I'm saying", I say. "I want… a frosty. From Wendy's, there's a 24 hour one like 5 minutes from here".
"Alright, consider it done".
"Oh and it has to be chocolate", I say. "Chocolate or nothing".
"Okay got it", He says and I can hear noise in the background of him getting out of bed. "I won't dare come back with anything not of the chocolate variety".
"Oh and Cap?"
"Yeah? Any other directions for this frosty?"
"No, I was just gonna say…", I hold my breath for a moment, my face on fire from smiling like a giddy teenage girl. "I'm sorry I woke you up and thank you for this".
"Sure, it's no problem. I'll see you soon Case".
"Okay bye!"
I hang up and settle in to lay on the couch, getting comfy until Cappie gets here.
I put my hand on my stomach and move it back and forth slowly, looking to see if she'll move at all. See if she's as happy as I am right now.
"Your dad's getting us ice cream baby girl", I whisper. "Thank god right? Otherwise we would go the whole night starving".
I laugh slightly then, realizing how ridiculous I probably look speaking to her like this, but I didn't really care.
I was starting to like the feeling of having her in there, of talking to her even if she couldn't understand. And being able to talk to Cappie every day. Rather, just having a reason to.
And obviously I was craving a frosty so bad I would practically walk down there myself in my pajamas and robe, I more so called him to hear his voice.
And the fact that he cared enough to wake up and satisfy my late night cravings at 2am… well that would just be an added bonus.