Last time on Chaos Theory Z! Avo Kayos helped Son Goku and his friends to drive back the evil Saiyan warriors Vegeta and Nappa who had come to destroy all life on Earth. There was much pain and strife but they managed to defeat the two of them thanks to skill and trickery. Now though they deal with the grim realization that Master Roshi is gone, unable to be wished back with the Dragon Balls.

But even as they consider all of that the actions of fucking Edwin Chaos during some multiverse bullshit has caused the power of Filler Arcs to enter into this world!

"Hey!" Edwin Chaos said suddenly from another universe, looking up from his bed on the KaibaCorp Blimp and glowering at the narrator. "I didn't choose to do that! And who the fuck is Avo Kayos!?"

Thanks to that egotistical moron rather than continuing on with our adventure, Son Goku, Avo Kayos, and Chiaotzu (the three most important characters in this story, in my opinion) must now deal with… a Christmas Filler arc. Also, did you read this in LittleKuriboh's narrator voice? Or the original Dragon Ball Z narrator voice? Because you should have read it in Taylor Swift's voice. That's right, its me, Taylor Swift. That's why all you Swifties should make this the most popular DBZ fanfic on the site!

"Huh," I said as I looked at my phone. The Z Fighters, recovering from the battle with the Saiyans, were all hanging out at Capsule Corp; unfortunately our little island paradise had been destroyed by Vegeta and Nappa (and, well, us, but we blamed those two for all the damage when it came to filling out the insurance forms). Bulma had discussed it with all of us and decided that it would be rebuilt as, thanks to the year we'd spent on the island training there, the place had become like a second home for all of us.

But with it currently torn apart we had all decided that Capsule Corp would be the best place for everyone to gather; Goku's home was too small, no one wanted to go back to Kame House without Master Roshi there, and I honestly couldn't say where I lived thanks to not being of this world until little over a year ago and that entire time been bumming beds off Bulma. Not that anyone other than Kami and possibly Mr. Popo knew that. Bulma had been more than welcoming and we were all currently hanging out at the pool. Chichi was working on her tan, having been utterly thrilled that thanks to all her training she no longer fit in her bathing suit… in the best possible way, with it being too baggy… and thus had gone with Bulma and gotten a new two piece. Bulma as well was lounging in the sun, a set of ear buds in place to let her listen to a book on tape. Thanks to Roshi not being there to peep both women felt comfortable lounging. Tien and Krillin were with Dr. Brief working on getting the grill going while Chiaotzu and Yamcha were both relaxing on inflatable rafts.

"See, like this," Raditz said gruffly as he floated on top of the water. "Its all about spreading out your body and using your ki to get yourself balanced."

"Oooooh!" Gohan declared as he tried to mimic his uncle. While we'd taught Gohan how to swim Raditz had, surprisingly enough, been horrified that Gohan didn't know how to 'lounge' properly and decided to teach him himself. And… he proved to be a patient teacher, much to my surprise. I had thought for sure he would be short tempered and snapping at the boy but apparently it dawning on him that he had a nephew had sparked the drive to show the boy some kindness.

"What's up, Kayos?" Goku said, paddling over to the edge of the pool.

"I was looking at my calendar and I realized it's the 25th in two days. Lost all track of time."

"25th… OH!" Goku exclaimed, eyes going wide. "We almost missed your birthday!"

I smiled at that; Goku might seem forgetful at times but there were certain things he ALWAYS remembered. And while the anime had never shown it I was finding that birthdays were things that he had engrained in his gray matter. He knew whenever everyone's was and he was VERY insistent on making sure they were celebrated in some way. He'd even figured out when Piccolo had hatched from his egg and declared it his 'hatchday', much to the Namekian's bemusement.

"We kind of were dealing with things, Goku," I said. He had been rather upset last time when he'd realized we'd missed my birthday in the shuffle of getting to the island; I'd gotten a belated party 5 months later.

"That's no excuse!" Goku declared. "Guys! Its Kayos' birthday!"

"Oh my!" Bulma's mother said, pressing her hands to her mouth as she came over with an ice chest full of beers and pops. "Why, that won't do if we don't do anything! Honey!" She waved to Dr. Brief. "We need to set up a birthday party!"

"Of course, sweetie!" Dr. Brief said happily. "Bulma, what do you think we should get Kayos?"

"We can't discuss it in front of him, dad!" Bulma teased. "Kayos, cover your ears."

"Guys, its fine!" I assured them. "My birthday always gets lost in the shuffle."

"Always?" Krillin said and I was startled at how… upset… he sounded at that. "Everyone always forgets it?"

"Well, not EVERYONE but its never been that big of a deal. Christmas kind of dominates things."

"Christmas?" Goku said, tilting his head.

"Huh, I forgot about Christmas too," Bulma said. "It would be on your birthday, wouldn't it?"

"Eeyup," I said, popping the P in the word.

"And you don't mind that?" Tien asked.

I shrugged. "Never minded it. For a few years I wasn't… well, I didn't HATE Christmas but I wasn't someone that went all out celebrating it but that changed. Honestly this last year was the first time I didn't really celebrate. But I don't mind it being on the same day."

"So we could do a Christmas Birthday Party!" Chiaotzu exclaimed.

Somewhere I knew my dad was grinding his teeth in frustration at that; HE was born on the 24th and HATED when his birthday and Christmas got merged. Me I didn't mind but him?

"Oh, that would be a lovely idea!" Chichi said, already getting up. "We don't have a lot of time so we'll need to get started right away."

Bulma's mother nodded. "Now, the cake should be shaped like something…"

"Or two cakes… a birthday cake and a Christmas cake," Chichi suggested, already moving to get changed, Mrs. Brief following after her.

"I suppose we should go get some presents," Krillin said before glancing at Bulma.

The blue haired scientist sighed. "Yes, I'll loan you some money."

"Thanks Bulma!" Krillin said before going back to working on the burgers and hot dogs he was grilling up.

"You know we don't have to do this right now!" I called out only for Isco, in his fighting form, to place a hand on my shoulder.

"They wish to honor the moment you burst out of your mother's chest, sir. Let them have this."

"…that's not how babies are born, Isco. You are thinking of Xenomorphs."

"Are you sure? I am pretty sure that the creation of you fleshbags involves face huggers."

"Only if the woman has a supportive partner," I teased.

Raditz frowned as he came over to the side of the pool, leaning against it alongside his brother. It was very odd to see him with wet hair… in that his hair didn't look wet at all. It had the exact same pokeyness and volume. Like washing a Ken doll. "Wait… what is this Christmas you speak of?"

"Hmmmpf," Piccolo said with a sniff. "I guess you wouldn't know, would you?"

"As if you do?" Isco challenged mockingly, causing Piccolo to seize up. "By all means, Piccolo, explain it to Raditz. We are all willing to wait and hear what you have to say."

Piccolo… merely folded his arms and turned away from us.

"Thought so," Isco stated. "Christmas is a holiday celebrated by Christians, Raditz. It celebrates the birth of their Savior."

"Huh… guess that makes sense. Lots of cultures celebrate the birth of great warriors." He looked at Goku. "So when do they celebrate your birthday on this planet?"

"What?!" Goku exclaimed. "They don't celebrate my birthday!"

"Even though you've saved them countless times?" Raditz demanded. He glowered when Goku just shrunk down at that. "Ungrateful wretches."

"Oh, come on Raditz!" Goku said in a panic. "I just don't need to be treated like that!"

Raditz didn't seem entirely convinced. "Well… maybe." It clearly didn't sit well with him that his brother wasn't worshipped on Earth. Part of it might have been his upbringing but I also had a feeling much of it was simply that for Raditz he didn't like that his brother wasn't given the respect he felt he deserved. It was touching, honestly. In a galactic overlord sort of way but still.

"Well, Christmas doesn't celebrate the birth of a warrior anyway," I said. "At least not in the traditional sense. He was a peacemaker. Someone who sought to bring love and tolerance and understanding to the world. There was anger in him, that much we know, but more often he worked to help the world."

"Huh," Goku said, tilting his head. "So a warrior who didn't want to fight… man, I wish I could have fought him."

I shut my eyes and counted to five. "Jesus didn't fight, Goku."

"But he was powerful?"

"Very."

"So he was so powerful he didn't even need to fight!" Goku exclaimed. "I bet he had all sorts of secret moves he could perform."

"Well," Isco began.

"Don't you dare," I warned my friend.

But Isco merely continued on. "He did manage to resurrect himself."

"HE WHAT?!" Goku exclaimed.

Isco nodded. "In fact according to the scriptures of Kayos' belief-" And I squirmed at that; it was against my personal beliefs to discuss such things openly and even if it wasn't me but Isco talking about them I was feeling HIGHLY awkward with him chatting so casually about it, "-after he died he spent three days in Hell battling demons. Many claim he CHOSE to die just so could save the souls of those who had been cast unfairly into Hell and bring them to Heaven."

"He did that WILLINGLY!?" Goku exclaimed. "Went to Hell and fought demons!?"

Yamcha, who I hadn't realized was listening in, spoke up. "Man, he must have been really powerful then. Kami and King Kai both warned me that the absolute worst of the worst dwell in Hell. Horrible, awful, stupid, disgusting beings."

"Well, except Towa," I said under my breath. "She's smart and beautiful."

~MC~MC~MC~

Towa, who had decided to use her magic to spy on the champions of Earth, especially when the latest soul to enter Hell, some brute called Nappa, had ranted and raved about some new magic user, tilted her head at that.

"Hmmm… you aren't so bad yourself," she said with a smirk, staring at Kayos.

~MC~MC~MC~

"And this Jesus guy really went down there and fought them? And not only won but was able to come back to life ALL ON HIS OWN!?" Goku grinned. "Man! I wish I could have sparred with him!"

"Goku," I said slowly, "Jesus wasn't a fighter. He was just a normal person." I frowned. "Well, okay, he wasn't a normal person…"

"What do you mean?"

Once more I shifted uneasily. "Uh…"

"Kayos?"

"Its… kind of against my beliefs to discuss all this," I admitted.

"But I can discuss it," Isco said, stepping in; I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "Jesus is said to be the son of God, who was sent to Earth to aid humanity. He had many great abilities and a commanded the attention of others. Eventually he did die but he came back to life before finally ascending one final time."

"…oh!" Goku said, bobbing his head. "I get it now!"

"Why do I think you don't?" I asked softly.

"I get it!" Goku repeated… before pointing at Piccolo. "Jesus was a Namekian!"

"…what?" I said flatly.

"So is he your cousin, Piccolo? Or would he be your nephew? And why didn't you tell me you were related to another really strong fighter."

"Uh…" Piccolo said, just as lost as I was.

"Goku… what are you talking about?" I asked.

"Jesus. He's a Namekian. Its sooooooo obvious!"

"…explain," I demanded flatly.

"Well, you said he was the son of god, right? So that must mean he's Kami's kid!" Goku turned to Piccolo. "I didn't know that Kami had a son!"

"I… didn't know either." Piccolo frowned turning his head away from us. 'Could he though? Its possible… perhaps he is worried that his advanced age risks the Dragon Balls, even with the end of the Dragon Moon coming. But Kayos made it sound like this child was born in the past… could he be Kami? Or perhaps a hidden Namekian that Kami has been keeping away from us, that way he can-'

"Hey!" I snapped, jabbing a finger at Piccolo. "None of that!"

"W-what?" Piccolo said, startled.

"None of that 'Goku might be right' crap! He isn't right." I turned to Goku. "Jesus was not a Namekian."

"Are you sure? Because you said he was the son of god. And that he had amazing powers-"

"Jesus didn't grow 50 feet and rampage!"

Isco made a coughing sound which was odd considering he didn't have a throat. "There was the money changers in the-"

"NO!" I roared, glaring at him.

"And you said that he was really good at gathering allies and Piccolo is great at making friends!" Goku said.

"He walked on water," Isco suggested. "That could just be a ki technique."

"Oh yeah!" Goku said happily. "And he died and went to Hell… that is something I could see a Namekian doing to help out the innocent! And then someone used the Dragon Balls to wish him back to life before he went to the Lookout!"

I threaded my fingers through my hair, tugging at the strands. "This is so fucking painful."

"Then stop doing that," Raditz said and I wondered if he was being cute or really was that fucking stupid.

"It was said as well that Jesus was very humble, something we know from our good friend Piccolo and from Kami to be a fact," Isco replied.

"I will turn you into a fucking toaster!" I roared.

Goku laughed. "Come on Kayos, is it really that big of a deal?"

"…yes!" I shouted before catching myself. "Well, okay, if he was a Namekian I- no, no we are not going down that route." I looked skyward. 'Kami, tell them you don't have a fucking kid!'

It took a moment but the Guardian of Earth spoke. 'I do not remember ever producing an offspring.'

"See?"

But that's when Mr. Popo spoke up. "Yes but remember that time a few millennia back where, because of the Harmonious Convergence, you were allowed to safely walk the Earth with no fear of any harm coming to you or the Lookout? You did go on a bit of a bender that week.'

'Ah… yes…' Kami sounded contrite. 'I don't remember all of it but-'

'Lalala, lalala, lalalalala!' I declared, mentally singing Jingle Bells.

~MC~MC~MC~

"Thank you Kayos for helping us get presents for everyone," Chichi said with a smile as she, Gohan, Isco, and I walked through the mall.

"And I'm sure you asking me to help has NOTHING to do with you sending the others with that list that said 'Avo's Birthday Presents' on it," I said dryly.

Chichi, for her part, merely smirked. "Nothing at all."

"Of course."

We had decided to keep it simple and just remain in West City to do all our shopping. I had been firm that yes, while it was my birthday and I was all for a party and presents, if the gang was interested in celebrating Christmas we should do that too. Gohan had of course been interested but the rest of the gang had been excited when they'd learned that it involved food, peaceful partying, and presents. A chance for all of us to express to everyone just how we felt about one another.

"Chichi," I said, trying to think of how to politely word things, not wanting to insult her in the slightest as I knew she was a prideful woman, "if you need to get a loan I am more than willing…"

Chichi though shook her head. "Thank you, Kayos but we'll be fine. Daddy apparently had a VERY good radish harvest and was able to send us plenty of money. And since Bulma has been covering the grocery bill this last year we were able to save quite a bit!"

"Still, let me know."

"But only from YOUR amount, sir," Isco reminded me.

"Yes Isco," I snarked. "You need to save up for your army."

"Indeed. Soldiers of fortune are so expensive." He shook his head. "Though I am also thinking of getting another body… while this one is fine for fighting, " he gestured at his secondary form, which we'd managed to convince him to cover up a bit with clothing (a pair of jeans like mine, some boots, and a Christmas sweater), "I do miss my true original form. So a third form that is a duplicate would be nice."

"Maybe a bit smaller?" I suggested. "That way you could use that to get into tight spots and weave through crowds."

"Hmmm… perhaps…"

"Mommy," Gohan said, tugging his mother's sleeve. "Who is that?"

Chichi looked over and frowned. "I'm not sure…"

I followed their gaze and smiled. "That would be Santa," I told Gohan, squatting down to address him at eye level. "Before Christmas he travels the world, meeting with Children and finding out what they might want for Christmas. And if they are VERY good he gets with his elves and has them make presents for the children and brings them on Christmas Eve night."

"Wow…"

Chichi and I shared a look. "Would you like to meet him?"

"I… can I?" Gohan said nervously. We nodded and soon found ourselves in line, Gohan nervously shifting from foot to foot

"So he's like the Dragon Balls?" Chichi asked.

"Kind of," I said. "Santa has his limits… self imposed. He mostly focuses on children and his gifts are about bringing joy. What kind of joy that is depends on the child though… some need practical things. What good is a toy if a child really needs a warm coat? But he does prefer to try and give every child also something a bit more… jolly."

"Hmmm," Chichi said as Gohan approached Santa, smiling a bit shyly but allowing the man to lift him up onto his knee.

"Merry Christmas. Now… what is your name?"

"Son Gohan, Mr. Santa," Gohan said gently.

"And have you been a good boy this year?"

Gohan nodded. "I… I helped my mommy and daddy save the whole world."

"The whole world!" Santa said with a laugh. "That was very good then! Very good. And you promise to be a good boy this year?"

Gohan nodded.

"Well then… what would you like for Christmas?"

Shifting a bit Gohan squared his shoulders before saying in a firm voice, "Could…could you bring Master Roshi back?"

My heart sank.

"Oh no," Chichi whispered.

"Sir," Isco said, "I am tapped into the alarms. I can set them off-"

But before Isco could give us a chance to extract Gohan Santa let out a rumble of thought. "Well… that is a tall order, Gohan. A tall order. One that might take more than one Christmas to fulfill. But-"

And he turned.

And stared.

Right.

At.

Me.

"I think… that can be arranged." His eyes fucking twinkled and I felt my heart lurch.

~MC~MC~MC~

"Happy Birthday!" Everyone cried out as I entered the room and saw that it looked like a mishmash of birthday party and Christmas party. There was a tree and garland and lights but also helium balloons in all colors and a Happy Birthday banner and all manner of presents littered about the room.

"Thanks guys," I said as I hugged Bulma and then turned to Goku who lifted me up as he gave me a squeeze.

"Well… you deserve it," Krillin said and I gave him a slight nod; it was a start.

What followed was a whirlwind of activity. Presents being open (both the Christmas and Birthday variety). Gohan got a GO Board and pretty soon Tien was teaching him to play. Raditz looked utterly awkward as he came back in wearing the black gi with orange trim that Goku had gotten him though I could tell he was touched when Goku showed that his patch had the kanji for Son on it, marking Raditz as officially part of the family. "We don't do family names on Planet Vegeta… but I think the old man would have liked Son for us" had been his reply.

Dr. Brief pulled out a piano and him and Mrs. Brief began to play holiday music, everyone happily singing along when they knew the words. Piccolo had tried to remain aloof but Yamcha had surprised everyone by giving him the best gift: a travel guide all about the most amazing places on Earth. We'd later caught him tucked away near the fire, happily reading while petting one of the Brief Family cats.

Bulma was instantly upgraded in status to mine, in Isco's eyes, when she presented him a new mini drone body.

I chuckled as I ate a piece of cake, watching as Goku and Chichi found themselves under the mistletoe and Goku, with no prompting, gave her a kiss before just standing there, holding his wife with a faint smile on his lips.

"Well… I gave canon a kick to the nuts… but I think it was worth it."

"I agree," Piccolo rumbled behind me.

I didn't bother to turn around. "Everyone happy and at peace, if even for a single day. That's… that's good."

"Yes it is. And Avo… thanks for the birthday party."

"Well, I should be thanking-"

I turned and saw it wasn't Piccolo I was speaking with.

No, it was another Namekian. One with long brown hair, a beard, and wearing long cream colored robes.

"…uh…" I said slowly.

"Well… time to go," he said before he disappeared in a swirl of sparkles, the same sound as the teleporter from Star Trek playing.

"…uh…."