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They were eating in the morgue again. Major had put the kibosh on the ribs, though. Too reminiscent of what lay beneath the cold skin of the occupants of the drawers, especially dripping with sauce. Too reminiscent of the brains he might have to eat if they couldn't find that tainted Utopium before the cure reversed itself.

Sandwiches. Nice, normal, healthy, picnic-lunch sandwiches. Nothing brain-like about them. Although he thought maybe next time something with a stronger flavor to cut the aftertaste of formaldehyde that always seemed to hang in the air might be nice. He said as much to Ravi, who took a thoughtful bite of his sandwich, clearly trying to taste the formaldehyde.

"It's no good," he said at last. "Too many years in morgues. I think I've grown to think of formaldehyde as just another condiment."

"Ew. Why do I hang out with you people again?"

"Look what a hopping place this is. You can't get much more excitement than this."

Before Major could retort, Liv appeared.

"Hey," Major called to her. He was about to offer her a sandwich, before he remembered that they hadn't ordered an extra. Well, he wasn't giving up his, so she'd have to go without. Of course, he reminded himself, she ate brains. He wasn't even clear on whether she needed human food or just enjoyed remembering what it was like. With extra hot sauce.

"You okay?" Ravi asked her. She had that determined Liv walk that said something was wrong and she was about to try to fix it.

"Seattle's missing district attorney is a zombie, and he's currently hiding out in a crawl space under his cabin." She picked up the box from Ravi's sandwich and began cleaning everything out of it. "Can I take this?"

Ravi shrugged. "I believe you just did."

Crap, Major thought. If she knew, then he would have to go get Baracus and put him in hiding. No more pretending he was wrong. How was he going to explain that to du Clark without getting himself, and her, and every other zombie in Seattle, killed?

"Wait, I thought he was abducted by the Chaos Killer," Major said as she shoved the box in her purse and swung the purse back onto her shoulder. He needed her to tell him more if he was going to go find Baracus and get him to safety before whoever else du Clark had on the case got to him. That guy Janko, for example. He wasn't about to gently put Baracus to sleep in a nice chest freezer.

"No," Liv corrected him. "Three of Mr. Boss's hitmen. They did up his place Chaos Killer style."

Damn it. Wasn't that just what he needed, Mr. Boss horning in on what he was trying to do.

Liv continued, "Big mistake abducting a zombie. We just found their heads in Baracus's fridge. I'm going to take the poor guy some brains, see if I can figure out a way to help him out of this mess."

Major couldn't let her go without finding out where Baracus was. And he couldn't risk her finding out who Major was. God, this was a mess. Putting his sandwich down and reflexively wiping his mouth—like it mattered if he had sandwich guts all over his face, in the face of people who ate real guts—he got up. "I'll go with you."

"Thanks, but I got this."

"Liv, think about it. You're going to a cabin where there's a desperate zombie who just decapitated three men. That's not safe." He rarely pulled the big strong boyfriend card, even when he had been one. Liv liked to be able to take care of herself, and generally could. But it was the first excuse he could pull out of thin air.

"It's not safe for a non-zombie," Liv pointed out.

Well, damn. He couldn't argue with that. And the last thing anyone wanted was for Baracus to attack Major and eat his brains. All sorts of things would come out, then, when he had his visions, things Major would prefer Liv not find out about—at least, not until and unless she absolutely had to know. Besides which, Baracus might not see enough to know where the freezers were hidden. He had it written in code in his safe, but even that was a gamble.

Liv got the brains she needed and left the morgue. Major grabbed the remains of his sandwich, shoving it back into the box. "I'll see you later," he said to Ravi, who looked confused but not interested enough to ask for details.

"Sure. Have a good one. Xbox?"

"Doubtful."

"Oh. Huh. Hot date?"

"I wish." He did wish. He wished for normalcy, and dating, and not being blackmailed to kidnap people.

On his way to his car, he reflected on all the new skills this job had taught him. Kidnapping, tranking, avoiding being followed, lots and lots of lying, and now he was going to get to tail someone. Not just any someone, but Liv, who knew his car and how he drove. He was hoping she'd be distracted enough by her concern for Baracus that she wouldn't notice Major.

He knew where she parked, so he was able to catch up with her not long after she had pulled out of the employee parking lot, and he did everything he could to stay close without being noticeable. Hovered in the lane just behind her, in her blind spot, so she couldn't see it was him; shifted into her lane two cars behind her so he could still see her but he was less likely to be noticed; at one point, cut through a fast food parking lot to avoid being stuck at a red light. As far as he could tell, she hadn't noticed a thing, because she led him straight out of town. It was harder on the dark lonely back roads to Baracus's cabin, but then it was easier, because Major could leave more space between them and still see her car. Eventually, she pulled up in front of the cabin and hurried inside, and Major sat outside, making note of where they were and drawing himself a map so he could come back again when Liv wasn't here.

Maybe someday this would all develop into a fabulous career as a private detective and he'd get his own TV show, but for now, it all just really sucked.