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Once Ravi had gone to bed, not without several concerned looks that only made Major more self-conscious, Major sat down to go through the flash cards. He had to look at the names on the back of more of them than he felt he should have. This was really happening, then. He was losing his grip on himself, on his life and his past and who he was. He needed to face that—and he needed to say good-bye.
He thought of calling everyone who mattered to him, but that sounded depressing. And for those who weren't zombies, or were zombies and didn't know about the cure, too hard to explain.
Instead, he decided he would write letters. Digging around in a drawer, he found paper and, to his surprise, a box of envelopes. He matched the photos on the flash cards with envelopes, writing down a name on the front of each envelope. He thought about adding two names that weren't on the flash cards: his mom and her girlfriend, Dalia. He hadn't seen or spoken to or heard from either one of them in a very long time. Too long, really. But if he was going to be … gone, then he probably owed them an explanation, or a good-bye, or … something, anyway. He decided to put that one off. He didn't have the faintest idea what he would say.
Fortified with coffee, and oh, how good that tasted, he started writing. Coach Reeves first, a quick note to thank him for everything he had taught Major on and off the field. His first boss when he became a social worker, for her mentorship, and to apologize for how things had ended at Helton. He gave some more thought to writing one to his mother, but no words had magically found themselves since the last time he'd considered it.
He took a break, then, grabbing a long nap before he tackled the more difficult set of letters.
When he woke, he wrote feverishly, filling pages with memories of his life. Peyton—all the great times they'd had in college, the movie nights while Liv studied, the endless support she'd given both of them, her generosity and kind heart, and how much he appreciated them. His dad—the fun they'd had together, the way they'd become closer after Major's parents' divorce, apologies for some angry words spoken at various times. His mom—he still didn't know what to say. Maybe now he never would. That was sad, but everyone left their lives with something unfinished, didn't they? Ravi—what fun they'd had together as roommates, their marathon gaming sessions, Major's appreciation for how hard his friend had worked to try to improve the cure before Major had to take it. Major's eyes welled up with tears as he finished: I've never had a better friend. I never will.
Liv. What was there to say to Liv that hadn't been said so many times before? But this was the last time, the time she would read over and over again. Maybe simple was best.
Dear Liv:
The minute I met you, I knew I wanted our relationship to last as long as possible. Despite everything that has happened, that has never changed. I love you more than anything. I always will.
Major
He had just started on a note to Justin, to thank him for being a good friend when Major had needed one and apologize for abandoning him to the gung-ho professional soldiers of Fillmore Graves, when the doorbell rang. He went to answer it. When he saw that it was Liv, he put on a blank, questioning look, as if he didn't recognize her. It stopped her in her tracks as she was about to walk in.
"Hello?"
Her eyes widened. "Oh, god. Major."
He let that one sit for a second, then grinned at her.
"That's not funny!" she said in outrage, smacking him on the arm.
"Hm? You sure about that?" She smacked him in the stomach that time. She was a lot stronger as a zombie. Or he was weaker as a human. Either way— "Ow."
"I'm sure," she told him.
"Come in. I'm mid-project in here."
She looked at the papers strewn on the table. "What's all this?"
"Well, if Major as we know him is going to vanish soon, he should make some proper good-byes to the important people in his life. Leave somethin' behind to remember good old Major."
"Is good old Major planning on new Major being a real dick?"
"If only to make people appreciate good old Major. The guy was a sweetheart."
"I'm cool with that. If he doesn't speak in third person, like good old Major used to."
"Yeah, good old Major was pretentious in that way."
Liv rifled through the pile of envelopes, stopping when she got to the one with Ravi's name on it. "Dear god. Is this Ravi envelope tear-stained?"
Major reached for the envelope, plucking it off the top of the stack. "All right. You can't shame me. I'm pouring my heart out. I want people to know how I felt about them. God, good old Major was a softie."
Frowning, Liv studied the envelopes. "I don't see one here for Sue and Dalia."
"I tried. I just—I couldn't. There's just … too much to deal with in a letter."
"You'll feel better if you do." Liv reached for an envelope and a pen. She wrote "Sue & Dalia, Walla Walla" on it, and tossed it on the pile. "Here. In case you forget."
Major smiled at her, relieved to have her here. She knew every part of his life in a way no one else did. No matter what had happened, he was so glad she was with him now, as he faced the end of his life as he had known it.
She picked up the envelope with her name on it. "Pretty thin. What's it say?"
"Well, I'm not gonna tell you. The whole point is—"
Her eyes widened. "'Cause it's bad?" He started to reassure her, but she talked over him, stuck on the idea. "It's bad. You don't want to tell me 'cause it's bad. Oh, god, I'm a terrible person. Everything I put you through!"
Major stepped closer to her, taking her hands, breaking into the flow of her panic. "Spoiler alert," he said gently. "It says that good old Major loved you like no one else ever."
She studied his face. "This is so totally a moment, right?" she whispered. "And you won't even remember."
He kissed her, so she would remember, certain that some part of him would remember her no matter what. But before he could voice that thought, Liv put her finger on his lips.
"Don't speak. This might be our last time as us. Let it just be." She turned and walked toward the door.
"Liv!"
"Shh. Just be." At the door, she stopped and took a selfie, tapping some buttons on her phone. "Sent. For when you forget."
And she was gone, leaving Major to wish it had been their last time as "us" and not whoever's brain was Liv was running on.
Turning to the table, he picked up the envelope for Sue and Dalia. This was one last thing that he didn't want to leave out there. Not if he could fix it. He finished the letter to Justin and went upstairs to pack. In the morning, he would go to Walla Walla.