It was a small group the next night out hunting for this mythological zombie speakeasy—Major and Justin, Zack Stoll, and two other guys. Major was torn between being glad to be included, glad to be out with a group of friends who didn't include his ex-fiance for a change, and worried that if they did find the place, it would be all too obvious that he lacked a certain prerequisite to enjoy himself at a zombie speakeasy.

Still … the alley they were walking through hardly looked like a hip spot to go score some high-end brains, so he couldn't say he was too worried.

The other guys, however, were absolutely convinced that this place existed, and that it was nearby. They whooped and barked and whistled, their spirits high.

"Come on, Zack, your source was messing with you. There's no such thing as a zombie speakeasy," he said, hoping they could turn back and find a more human-friendly bar to go to instead.

"He swore to me. Booze, ladies …" Pointing at a rusty chain-link gate, Zack said triumphantly, "This is it!"

"There's no sign," Justin pointed out.

"That's how you know it's cool. Let's go!" Zack swung open the gate and the others hurried through it after him. Major brought up the rear, feeling increasingly bad about the chances that this night would go well.

Down a flight of stairs—cleaner than Major would have expected—they found a rusty door set into a concrete wall. Zack grabbed for the handle. "It's locked." He rapped on the metal and a window in the door slid open, a face appearing on the other side.

Zack waved, and a tray swiveled out from the other side of the door, loaded with peppers. "Eat it," the bouncer instructed.

Picking one up, Zack looked at the others.

"That's a ghost pepper. A million Scoville heat units," Tanner said in awe.

As Zack crunched down on the pepper, Major and Justin exchanged apprehensive glances. How was he going to down a ghost pepper and make it look like he was still a zombie? He had a decent tolerance for spicy food—more now than he used to—but nowhere near what a zombie could handle.

Zack showed his empty mouth to the bouncer, and one by one the others followed suit.

"Tina Majorino. Time to clear those sinuses." Zack held the last pepper out to him, while Major frantically tried to find a way out of this situation.

Then fate stepped in—fate in the guise of Don E, the last person Major had ever imagined looking on as a guardian angel.

"Major! You found the place."

Hearing the voice behind him, Major turned to see Don E coming down the stairs in a white tux jacket with a very nice-looking woman on his arm. He clapped Major on the shoulder. "Dino!" he called to the bouncer. "This guy's cool. We go way back."

Major breathed a sigh of relief—and disbelief. To think that Don E of all people would be in charge of the zombie speakeasy. Major wouldn't have thought he had the initiative. Or the brains … both literally and figuratively. He wondered who was really behind the place.

But for now, he wasn't going to worry about it. He was going to have as much fun as a human could have in a room full of zombies.

It was bustling, too, full of people. Don E made a table appear for Major and the rest of the guys, and handed them out menus. You really could order whatever kind of brain you wanted. It was ingenious.

"I can't believe this place!" Tanner exclaimed. "Who's down for cerebellum on a half-skull?"

"'This establishment serves cruelty-free brains'," Major read off the menu. How Seattle.

"I wonder who all these zombies are. They definitely don't work for Fillmore Graves!" Justin said.

Behind them, a waiter appeared with a plate, setting it down in the middle of their table. "There you go, boys! Deep-fried goodness."

"Eat that brain like nobody's watching!" Zack said. "We're with our people!" He stood up, shouting, "Any zombies in the house tonight?" A cheer answered him, coming from nearly everyone in the place. Major thought it was entirely possible—likely, even—that he was the only human here.

Max reappeared from the crowd. "Zombie compadres! They have zombie girls here with whom you can purchase time."

"Thank you, Lord!" Zack shouted.

"Who's gonna float me two hundred bucks?"

"Follow me, lads. Once more into the breeches," Zack said in a passable Scottish accent. The three of them headed off into the crowd in search of zombie women … zombie women like Natalie, Major thought with a pang. Much as he understood his fellow soldiers' desires, he couldn't help wondering if the girls servicing them tonight wanted to be doing that job, or if they, too, were being forced to in order to get the brains they needed. Of course, that wasn't different from human prostitution, he supposed, and he wouldn't have encouraged his friends to do that … but at least there were a lot of human women out there with whom one could pursue a relationship. Zombie women were much harder to find.

Justin hadn't moved. Instead, he was digging into the brain delicacy in front of them.

"You don't have to sit here for me," Major told him. "Go!"

"Naw, man. It's a point of pride that I don't pay for sex."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." As Major picked up his drink, Justin leaned closer, looking somewhat apprehensive. "Listen … there's no good way to ask this, so I'm just going to put it out there."

"Okay?"

"Liv."

Oh. Major supposed he should have seen this coming, remembering how much fun they'd had the night they played Liv's dance game together. But he wasn't prepared for it, not after he'd thought there was finally a chance for him to be with Liv the way things always should have been.

He was saved, once again, by Don E, who was standing on the bar behind them. "Hey, you dead bitches! Are we having fun yet?"

A chorus of cheers answered him, and Major used the chaos to cover his rapid thinking. Liv was a zombie now for … as long as it took to either find the cures, or find more tainted utopium for Ravi to make more. He couldn't be with her anymore. They had tried that once, and it wasn't fair to either of them. So should he stand in her way now when a nice guy, a good friend, might be able to make her happy? He couldn't, in all conscience.

He leaned over to Justin. "How serious are you?"

"About Liv?"

"Yeah."

"Pretty serious. Would you mind if I … courted her?"

"Courted her?" Major echoed. Well, that clinched it. Any guy who was willing to court her probably deserved her. "I'll tell you what. I'll ask her."

"But you'd be cool if she said yes?"

"I'd be cool." He'd have to be.

"Great. Great! Whoo!" Justin lifted his glass, and they toasted. "To Major, a heck of a guy!"

"To Justin … a true friend. Thanks, man."

"Anytime."