This is the first chapter I wrote for this story. It's been a long time getting here! Thanks for reading!

A fog hung thickly over Seattle as Major pulled up to the curb in front of his house. New Seattle, he reminded himself, unhappily. Like Columbus's New World, only a lot darker. Light spilled out the windows of the front room of the house, and he smiled briefly as he got out of the car and locked the door. If Ravi was home alone, the light would have been blue from the giant TV screen as he played a game. Bright light meant guests, and more often than not meant Liv.

Major was about 50/50 on whether he stayed out to avoid coming home to find her there or hurried home in hopes she would show. Ever since he had asked Chase Graves to scratch him and become a zombie again, and resumed his position at Fillmore Graves, he and Liv had been at odds. He hated it, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. They were on different sides of the debate—not polar opposites, but not close, either—and hadn't found a way around it. Still, she was Liv, whether they were on the same page or not. She filled a room like no one else ever could.

He turned his key in the lock of the front door, hearing animated conversation that stopped as soon as he closed the door behind him. Not awkward. Not awkward at all.

"Major?" Ravi called.

"Just me in here," he answered, and winced as soon as he'd said it, hoping Liv wouldn't take it as a dig against her brain-eating habits. New Seattle was developing all new norms, and one of them was the attitudes of people who could afford to eat whole brains and take the consequences versus the attitudes of people eating brain paste out of tubes. Just what everyone needed, new social minefields. After he dropped his keys and hung up his jacket, he poked his head in the door, seeing the two of them on the couch, glasses of wine and snacks for Ravi on the low table in front of them. "Hey, Ravi. Liv."

Her face was like stone, not just pale but cold, too. "Major."

Ravi groaned, looking from one to the other. "I see it's going to be one of those nights again." Abruptly he stood up, snagging his jacket off the back of the couch. "Well, don't let me get in the way of a good silence."

"Where are you going?" Liv asked him, looking distressed at the idea of being alone with Major.

"Out. There must be some human bar out there where I can get drunk and piss off Americans by instructing them in the proper rules for football."

"Be careful." Liv and Major spoke at once, each knowing all too well the dangers that stalked the streets of New Seattle.

"I'm immune, remember?"

Liv frowned, not liking to be reminded that Ravi had used himself as a guinea pig to test the zombie vaccine—or that it had only partially worked, leaving Ravi a zombie three days a month. "You're not immune to everything."

"I'll be fine, Mum." And the door closed behind him, leaving Liv and Major alone in the house.

"I should go, too," Liv said, standing up and smoothing her skirt nervously. It was harder to read her now—the months when she'd had to hide her zombieism had changed her, given her a better poker face, and you never could be sure what kind of brain she was on, but some of her tells were still the same as they had always been.

Major knew he should let her go. He was tired, it had been a long day, and he was in no mood to have his faults cast up in his face again. But with Ravi gone, if Liv went he would be alone, and he wasn't sure he was in the mood for that, either. "You don't have to go."

Liv sighed. "If I stay, we'll only end up fighting again."

"No, we won't."

She smiled. God, she was pretty. "You're already disagreeing with me."

"I don't have to. Uh … how was your day?"

"Same old. Ate some brains, had some visions. I think this brain is wearing off, finally." She shuddered. "Telemarketer."

"Ew."

"Exactly. And, um, how was your day?"

He shook his head, feeling the weariness settle on him. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Clearly that was the wrong thing to say. He could practically see her bristle. "Does that mean you spent it shooting humans again?"

"God, Liv, that was only one time!"

"Well, it was one time too many."

"They were going to kill us. What was I supposed to do, stand there and let them?"

"You were supposed to protect them!"

"And who was going to protect us?"

"Aw, did the big old soldier boys need their mommies?"

"Does it get lonely up there on your high horse?"

She pantomimed looking down around her. "It's got a good view."

"You know, it must be nice to always be on the side of the angels. But the rest of us have to live here, in New Seattle, where things aren't so easy."

"You wouldn't have had to live this way! You were human, Major. You'd been cured! How could you go back to this?"

"After what they did to my friends, blowing them to bits that way? How could I not?"

"'They'?" Liv demanded. "It was one guy—and he was a zombie!"

"He was a truther, turned by accident … and does it matter? There's always going to be that one guy, and I wasn't going to lose another person I—cared about that way." He'd almost said "loved", but he didn't want to go there with Liv. She'd been remarkably cool about the whole thing with Natalie, but he didn't feel the need to rub her nose in it.

"Fillmore Graves started all of this. How can you still be working with them?"

"They did what they had to do."

"What, by turning thousands of people without their consent?" She was standing closer to him now, her eyes blazing up at him from her white face.

"They explained what to do, and they're going to take steps against anyone who creates new zombies."

"How does that work, Major? A lot of those new zombies are kids. Kids who have no impulse control, who might be out there making zombies of all their human friends without even meaning to. Are they going to take steps against kids?"

He didn't have an answer for that, because she wasn't wrong, and even Chase Graves himself was wrestling with these problems. Chase more than anyone, really, Major knew, since it was all his responsibility in the end. It occurred to him, as he looked down into Liv's eyes, that if everything had continued normally between them, if she had never gone to that damned boat party, they might have been considering a family now, might even have started one. He was struck with a sense of loss, a longing for the days when everything made sense and the future seemed—understandable. "Do you ever wish none of this had happened?" he asked Liv wistfully. "That we had gotten married and our lives had gone on like we planned?"

He had expected her to agree immediately. After all, she'd spent all this time with Ravi trying to find a cure, trying to be human again. But she hesitated, and it was like a knife in the gut.

"I guess not," he said bitterly. "Being a zombie is better than being married to me."

Liv frowned at him, puzzled, then her eyes widened as she realized what he had said. She took his hands, holding them tightly in hers. "Oh, no, Major, not you! You were the best part of that life. But the rest of it …" She shook her head. "Don't you remember what it was like, how busy I was all the time, how I pushed myself to do everything perfectly, how I beat myself up over every mistake? We used to fight about my not making time for myself, for us, and I lost all my friends but Peyton. And even she was frustrated with me half the time. I think we only ended up staying roommates because she worked almost as hard as I did."

"Yeah," Major admitted. "I remember."

Liv nodded. "And now I have Ravi, and Clive, and my work—I help people. Not in a clinical way, behind a mask and through gloves, but out there in the world. I want to be human again, but … I wouldn't want it to never have happened."

"I get it, I do." He lifted his hands to cup her face. "I just … Liv."

Her face was turned up to him, her eyes soft, and he kissed her, lightly at first, and then harder, the sweet welcoming familiarity of her mouth and her body filling him with warmth. The kiss ended, but she stayed, her head against his shoulder. It felt so right to hold her this way, like a part of him that had been missing was back again. "Can you imagine what it would have been like if we had already been married when this happened?"

She chuckled bitterly, pulling away from him. "You mean, how much harder it would have been for me those first months, having to hide being a zombie from you while we were living together, risking losing you entirely because I couldn't take the risk of scratching you by accident? Yeah, I've thought about it."

Major wanted to argue, to protest that it wouldn't have been that way, but he realized it had been such a long time since he hadn't known about zombies, about Liv, that he had completely forgotten what that had been like, what it must have been like for Liv to be living that way all alone. He followed her, catching her by the arm about halfway across the room. "I'm sorry. That must have been … unimaginably hard. And you had to do it alone."

Her eyes filled with tears. "It was. I hated having to be so cold to you. I wanted to tell you, so badly, I wanted you to tell me it would be all right, but I was so afraid I would hurt you if I got close to you …" She looked away from him. "Or that you would hurt me."

"Never," he said immediately, pulling her against him again, holding her tight. "I would never hurt you."

Liv chuckled against his chest, acknowledging that they had done their fair share of hurting each other over the past few years, but that didn't change the bedrock truth beneath what he'd said. "I know," she told him, her arms slipping around his waist. Her hands rested against the small of his back for a moment … then dipped lower and took hold of his uniform shirt, untucking it. He held his breath waiting to see what she would do, then let it out slowly as her hands found the bare skin beneath the shirt.

"Liv."

"Shh." She lifted her head, and he couldn't help but kiss her again. Harder this time, deeper, slower, exploring her mouth the way her hands were exploring the muscles of his back. Then she moved around to the front, the nerves under Major's skin jumping and quivering at her touch, and she pushed the shirt up until Major raised his arms to take it off. But that meant breaking the kiss, and as he dropped the shirt behind him their eyes met, the moment fizzling in the harsh reality. "This … probably isn't a good idea," Liv said reluctantly.

"It won't solve anything," Major agreed.

"That's not my fault!"

"Isn't it? Which one of us is trying to have it both ways, to keep a foot in both worlds?"

Liv's jaw dropped. "A foot in both worlds? What about Ravi? And Peyton? They're humans. Does that mean you can't be around them anymore, because they don't fit in your world?"

It hit uncomfortably close to home. Major was awkawrd around Peyton now. Ravi not as much, not just because he was some kind of weird hybrid now that he'd taken the vaccine, but because they lived together, and Ravi's clinical brain always made him seem something other than zombie or human.

"Wow." Liv shook her head. "You really have drunk the Fillmore Graves Kool-Aid, haven't you?"

"You turned on them awfully fast for a girl who missed the party where half my squad was blown up because you were boning Chase Graves."

"That was the brain!" Liv shouted, looking guilty despite the protest.

"Was it, Liv? How much of that 'it was the brains' bit is just you being weak-willed and unable to control yourself?"

She reached up to slap him, and he caught her wrist. Holding her gaze, he asked, very softly, "Is that because you're mad—or because I'm right?"

Liv wrenched her arm out of his grasp, glaring at him before she turned away.

Major sighed, hating this. "What are we going to do about this, Liv?"

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to quit Fillmore Graves."

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to give me the benefit of the doubt."

She whirled back around to face him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you think your way is the only way, and you can't seem to understand that it's not that black and white for the rest of us. Some of us have to live in New Seattle, as zombies, trying to do our best for everyone involved. And yes, sometimes that means protecting zombies from humans. You used to understand that."

"I know," she admitted, her shoulders slumping. "I do know. It's just … I can't stand to see you like this, Major. You look so tired." She came back to him, one hand raised to cup his cheek. Major leaned into the touch, closing his eyes.

"It just never ends. And it keeps getting worse."

Liv took his hand and led him over to the couch, and then curled up next to him with her head on his shoulder as he leaned back. Automatically he put his arm around her, holding her closer.

They sat like that for a while before Liv said softly against his chest, "I'm sorry, Major."

"I am, too. I wish … things were different."

After another pause, she said, tentatively, "They … could be. If we wanted."

Major opened his eyes, lifting his head to look down at her. "What do you mean?"

"Well … we're both zombies now. And … I don't know about you, but I could use the occasional stress reliever."

He raised his eyebrow. "Stress relief, huh? You think I'm that easy?"

Liv grinned, bending down to kiss his chest. "I am."

"You could have mentioned that before." He reached for her sweater, beginning to unfasten the buttons. He wasn't really sure this was a good idea, but he wanted to it be. God, did he want it to be.

"Funny, I assumed you knew." Liv shifted until she was straddling his lap, and by that point the decision was made. This was happening. Major surrendered himself to it completely, pulling Liv against him and kissing her with all the love and frustration and desire and longing and desperation that had been building up in him all this time.

Quite a while later, they were lying together on the couch under a blanket enjoying the afterglow when they heard Ravi's keys in the door. He came around the corner, looking at them blearily. "You may think this is an improvement, but it really isn't."

Feeling Liv snuggling in just a little more, Major tightened his arms around her. "Good-night, Ravi."

"Hmph."

As Ravi made his stumbling way up the stairs—apparently he had really tied one on—Liv lifted her head. "Can we do this again?"

Major wanted to say yes, but … "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"It's better than shouting at each other all the time."

"Marginally." When Liv poked him in the side, Major chuckled. "Seriously, how long can we go without talking about—all the rest of it?"

"A lot longer if we're too busy to talk." Liv suited the action to the words, kissing his neck and shoulders.

"You make an excellent point," he gasped. Maybe it wouldn't last, this truce between them, but to have her here in his arms the way it always should have been, he'd willingly bite his tongue as long as he could. Or, he could let Liv bite it for him, he thought, kissing her.