The first 16 chapters belong to Avatarfan792, and I take no credit for them. Here is a link to where the story was originally posted: s/14303822/1/The-Aftermath

Chapter 6: Grief

AN: This chapter is a tough one and has been by far the hardest one for me to write. It is very personal to me as I had a similar reaction as Aang did when I lost both my parents in a car crash 5 years ago. If the pain of losing someone is something that is triggering to you, please go to the next chapter. There is no major plot in this one.

I sit here in tears as I give this chapter to you. I hope that you enjoy it, and please, spend time with your loved ones.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender

Aang's eyes slowly fluttered open as the sunlight peeking through the window marked the start of a new day. Rubbing his eyes and letting a yawn escape him, he looked around in a confused manner trying to take in his surroundings. After a few seconds, he froze at the sight before him. He noticed an arm wrapped around his shoulder, and on his chest lay the head of his favorite person in the world, sleeping peacefully before him. Katara's head was tilted towards him, and her peaceful disposition was beautifully finished by a soft smile formed on her face. Aang absent-mindedly ran his hands down her hair while he tried to figure out how he was in this current situation. Then it hit him.

I was really sick last night. The memories of yesterday's events started to seep into his mind, reminding him of his current position. A soft smile crept onto his face as he recognized everything that Katara had done for him. Once again, she had been his rock, helping him without thinking twice. He admired her with every ounce of his being, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life making it up to her. Aang could only hope that the peace that was brought by the end of the war would be enough of a gift from him to suffice for all the sacrifices she had made for him.

Some stirring immediately brought him out of his thoughts. He gazed down to see the beautiful girl in front of him slowly opening her eyes, ocean blue meeting stormy gray. Aang's heart melted as she let a bright smile creep across her face, sighing in content at her first sight in the morning.

"Good morning, Katara". He softly whispered, trying so hard to not to disturb the peaceful bliss she was in at the moment.

"Good morning, Aang." Katara softly hummed in response, getting lost in his eyes that were performing an elegant dance for her. She stayed in his warmth for a few moments before realizing the situation she was in. The Avatar frowned as her eyes widened and she quickly sat up, a flush spreading across her cheeks. "Aang, I'm so sorry! How are you feeling?"

Aang responded by looking at her with concern. He didn't exactly understand what she was sorry for. He was realizing however, that his strength was quickly returning to him, and he felt much better than the day before. "I feel much better, thank you Katara. Please tell me though, why are you sorry?" He tilted his head at her, empathy and compassion forming in his eyes.

Katara stared blankly down at the bed, refusing to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put us in such an awkward position, you kept shivering last night and I wanted to keep you warm–" Katara was then cut off with a slight shriek of her own as she felt the airbender wrap his arms tightly around her into a warm embrace. She quickly melted into the hug, her eyes still wide at the sudden shock of his actions.

"Thank you, Katara." Aang said, muffled into her shoulder. "Once again, you saved me and took care of me. I don't know what I would do without you." Katara felt herself blushing as Aang brought his head off of her shoulder, his eyes staring with deep appreciation into her very being.

"Well," she hummed in response. "I did get the best night's sleep since, ever, I suppose." Her heart fluttered to see Aang's genuine smile in response.

"I'm glad that I could provide some sort of payment, then." The two stared at each other, lost in each other's eyes. Without them even knowing, they slowly gravitated closer to each other. Then suddenly, eyes were closed, and the distance between them became next to nothing. Just as two lips were about to become one, the door slammed open.

"Gooood MORNING you two, who's ready for a hearty breakfast before we go to the Southern Air Temple? The Innkeeper said there would be lots of meat!" Sokka announced his presence emphatically. Luckily for Aang and Katara, he was so busy daydreaming about his pending meal that he didn't see the serious blushes rush across their faces.

"Sokka," Katara growled, her eyes forming daggers for ruining yet another moment that she and Aang were about to share. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Well, my sister is clearly not a morning person today! How can you be so mad at me for sharing my excitement for food, huh?" Sokka playfully tossed back. He was met by a groan, and the promise that the two of them would be down for breakfast in a few minutes. As he happily munched on his breakfast that morning, he blissfully ignored the glares coming from his sister.

After Aang graciously thanked their hosts since he wasn't able to do so properly yesterday (and paying them despite their protests), the Gaang was soon back in the air, making their way to his home. He took a deep breath as he tried to get a read on his current emotions. He was very excited to properly give his friends and family a tour, but there still was an ache that turned his stomach into a knot when he thought about arriving.

Aang didn't have much time to think about it though, as Appa cleared the Patola Mountain Range, and the Southern Air Temple came into view. Gasps were heard from everyone in Appa's saddle as the beast made his descent.

"Aang!" Suki gasped, her jaw wide open. "It's beautiful."

This elicited a smile to form on Aang's face. He was here to share his home with his family. To spread his culture to one's who would happily accept it. The war was over and he was determined to make sure that his previous home would never be forgotten. Zuko's peace offering was a start, but Aang knew that a large portion of the world getting to know the Air Nomads again fell on his shoulders. He gazed out into the horizon of the temple as Appa began to land, feeling himself become distant in thought. He was snapped out of his trance when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he was met with two ocean blue eyes.

"Remember Aang, I'm here for you. Always." Katara said, with a look of comfort and concern mixed in her eyes. Aang responded with a curt nod and a distant smile. This wasn't going to be easy on him. Aang took a deep breath, then decided that he would try his hardest to put on the best fake act that he possibly could.

Grinning and turning around to his friends, he spread out his arms and exclaimed "welcome to the Southern Air Temple, the one place that I called home." The laughter from Sokka, Suki, and Toph gave him the confidence that he could carry this act on for the rest of the day, but one glance at Katara showed that she wasn't at all convinced. "Before we set up camp, I owe all of you a proper tour," he continued. Helping everybody off the saddle, he turned towards the group. "But first, Sokka owes me a rematch in a game of airball." With that, he took off running towards the field, the others laughing and following behind him.

The game was over about as quickly as it started, with Sokka's defeat bringing a hearty laugh out of everyone. Aang slowly took the group from the courtyard, and started to lead them towards the dormitories. As they reached the main portion of the Temple, a statue greeted them in their path. That's when Aang froze. The rest of the group watched him, Sokka and Katara both looking with concern. Finally, Aang turned back towards the ones he now considered family.

"This is Monk Gyatso." He explained, all joy and laughter from his face disappearing. "He was my mentor, and was responsible for my upbringing since I was three years old and taken away from my parents. More importantly, he was my friend, my teacher, and . . . the closest thing that I could ever call a father." His voice grew weaker as he talked about him, the pain evident in his voice.

Katara broke the tension by stepping forward and respectfully bowing to the statue. She noticed that the others quickly followed suit behind her. Satisfied, she turned to Aang. "From everything that you've told our group about him, he sounded like such a wonderful man, Aang. I only wish I could have had the chance to meet him." Her voice was soft, but strong.

Aang nodded, a singular tear forming in the corner of his eye. "He would've loved to meet all of you." Taking a deep breath and gazing upon the statue once more, he waved his hand signaling for the group to follow him. The group took their time exploring the dining halls, and Aang proudly showed off his old room to his new family. To everyone's delight, he had found four toys in a chest that was placed under his bed.

Letting out a soft laugh, he explained the significance of these objects. "These were the four toys that I chose when I was a child. They brought all the babies that were born around Roku's death and had them choose from hundreds of toys. I had chosen these four, each of them former relics of the past Avatars. It was then that the Elders knew that I was going to be the Avatar." His smile was prevalent on his face, but his gaze was distant as he longed for just a moment in the past.

"Wow," Toph gasped. "So they knew since you were a kid that you would be the Avatar?" Aang nodded in response.

"Each of the four nations has their own way of figuring out who the Avatar is, this has been a tradition of the Air Nomads for generations I guess." Carefully storing the toys away, the group headed back out to their camp to eat lunch. Aang wanted to treat everybody to an Air Nomad specialty, as he made fruit pies for the group. It made him especially happy to see that everyone was enjoying them.

The group enjoyed each other's company for a while as Aang began to share stories from his youth. Aang retold his memories with so much passion and vigor that there was never a dull moment, as he was almost bringing the Air Nomads back to life in front of them. The current story he had just finished had everyone laughing as he had explained how he had gotten caught trying to practice his Air Scooter during the middle of the night.

Aang's expression of laughter slowly faded and turned into a somber one. With a sigh, he stood up and looked at the rest of the group. "Suki and Toph," he gently commanded, it's time that I introduced you to the man I've looked up to my entire life." Katara immediately ran up to him and gave him a gentle squeeze on the arm, knowing how much pain this would cause him.

Bravely, he led the group down the mountainside, towards his former mentor. The group walked along in silence, afraid to speak up and ruin the sanctity of the environment around them. At last, they reached an area with a curtain, with a sight that Aang would be dreading waiting for them on the other side. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. He could already begin to feel the tears welling at his eyes, when he felt someone squeeze his hand on his right, and another place their hand on his left shoulder. Opening his eyes, he looked around to see the two Water Tribe siblings, standing tall next to him, lending him their strength. Opening the curtains, he led the group inside, to meet his mentor once again.

Upon entering, a sense of silence took over the group as they took in the scene. The walls of the building had crumbled from Aang's previous visit to the temple, but still, his mentor and those around him remained untouched. With a shaky breath, he stepped forward, and addressed the room around him.

"Monk Gyatso, I would like to introduce you to my friends." he started, tears already coming down his cheeks. This time, he wasn't afraid to let his emotions flow through him. He continued, "these people believed in me when the rest of the world didn't, even when I didn't believe in myself. You would have been so proud of them, Gyatso." He gulped, finding it hard to speak any longer. He briefly glanced at his friends to find them kneeling in a show of respect to his mentor. He hadn't even realized it, but Katara had taken a hold of his hand as she kneeled.

A soft smile crept across his face as he found his Airbending Master Necklace on his chest. "I . . . I did it, Gyatso," he croaked out, the tears starting to form into sobs. "With the help of the others we finally brought peace to the world, just like the Air Nomads would have wanted." Taking a deep breath, he tried to gather the courage to continue. "Katara, my friend, gave me the necklace to signify that I'm an airbending master now. I still don't believe I deserve it, Gyatso. I'm so sorry for what I did to this Temple, what I did to our people. I just hope that I made you proud."

With that, he couldn't continue any longer. He allowed his sobs to envelop him, and he crashed to the ground, grieving for his mentor. Almost immediately he felt the embrace of who he had figured would be Katara, but was comforted when he felt three other bodies crash around him. The group stayed enveloped in each other for a few minutes, the sobs of Aang slowly dying to silent tears. Everybody but Sokka had tears streaming down their own cheeks, grieving the loss of such an important person to Aang.

Eventually, Aang let out a smile to the people around him, trying to convey his thanks to them without words. With a soft whisper, he sent out a request. "I'd like to be able to say goodbye to Gyatso and my people, alone." The rest of the group nodded, and started to make their way out of the tent, except for Katara, who was lingering, her face full of concern.

"Are you sure, Aang? I can stay with you if you would like." she offered. Aang silently shook his head, reaching his arms out for her to come into a quick embrace.

"I need to do this." He softly whispered into her ear. "You can stay close by, but I would like to be alone to say my goodbye." Katara took a deep breath, and nodded to show that she understood. Leaving the curtains open, she left and gave him about a twenty foot distance to have to himself.

Aang smiled to himself as he could sense her presence close by due to his earthbending. Trying to relax, he sat and formed his cross-legged lotus meditative state, and slowly began to breathe. As the surrounding environment slowly started to fade around him, he used this opportunity to look inwards and explore his emotions.

What he hadn't told anybody in the group is that he had pressed a lot of his emotions deep inside during the war. This was an entirely new experience for him, as the Air Nomads had always preached about freely expressing the way you feel to those around you. Aang explored his emotions, smiling at the happiness and relief that he had now that the war was over. He allowed himself to release the small amounts of rage that he had towards the Fire Nation and others for their past aggressions towards him. Then, he reached the place that he had stopped all the times before when he had meditated during the war. He reached his knot.

His knot was all the tied up emotions that he had bottled up over time. It was full of the grief, pain, depression, anxiety, and guilt that he had felt during the war, but had chosen to push it away to remain level-headed. Taking a deep breath, he knew that he would have to face his knot head-on, and slowly, he worked on loosening the inner strings of his emotions.

As he continued this gesture, memories started flooding back into him, all of them painful to bare. The first immediate emotion that hit him was the guilt that he had for abandoning his people before the Comet. He would be reminded countless times that it wasn't his fault, but he couldn't help but feel responsible for the demise of his nation. The grief of his friends, mentors, and teachers crashed upon him next. He thought of the others who had been lost in the war. People such as Jet, the innocent lives taken by the fire nation, heck even the soldiers of the fire nation themselves. He could slowly feel his body start to shake as his emotions continued to slam into him.

Next came the anxiety and the pain. He still had a hard time accepting his role as the Avatar, and the responsibilities that came with it. It pained him to have so many people praise him as a hero when he was just a scared little kid on the inside. It pained him knowing that so many people that he had gotten to know on his journey suffered because of his actions. Then lastly like a tidal wave crashing over him, came the depression. Thousands of lives had been lost in the war, gone from a world that he was responsible for. People who counted on him. He tried to fight against the emotions as they overtook him, but he couldn't help it. Opening his eyes, he realized that his entire body was shaking and he was sobbing incoherently, and he couldn't stop it. He tried to take a deep breath to calm himself, but found that he couldn't breathe.

Katara kept watch over Aang as the other three went to go back to camp and get things set up for the night. She smiled as she watched her brave friend go into a meditative state, and she couldn't help but feel for Aang. This 12 year old kid was placed with such a burden on his shoulders that the world expected for him to take on alone. She refused to let that happen. Though it pained her to see Aang so broken-hearted, she was determined to make sure that her friend would never have to take these feelings on alone.

She was quickly brought out of her own thoughts when she noticed Aang start to shake. Growing worried, she quickly got up and slowly crept closer to make sure he was okay. With each step she took, his shaking became more aggressive and his sobs grew louder. By the time that she even reached arms distance from him, he had lost full control of himself. His body was thrashing around, the air being drowned out by his inconsolable sobs. Though he was a master airbender, it was impossible to tell, as he was heaving just to be able to breathe.

Katara's heart broke immediately for him as she could already feel the tears forming in her eyes. She went and threw her body around him, trying to protect him, trying to take anything from him. Burden, pain, depression, she wished she could take it all for him. Her eyes widened however when he grabbed onto her, clinging on like his life depended on it.

"Please don't leave me, Katara." He begged softly at first in a whisper. "Please, don't leave me. I'm begging you Katara! Please don't leave me!" Each plea that he made grew exponentially in volume, with his last one being a near scream. Katara tried to look into his eyes but the sight made her break down in her own sobs for him. This look was 10 times worse than the one he had given her in the Desert. This time his eyes were only filled with pain and desperation.

Katara tried to muster her own strength through her own sobbing. "Aang, I'm here. Please Aang, listen to me, I'm here!" She desperately pleaded with him, wanting anything for him to be able to calm down. She held onto him with as much strength as she could, fighting against his constant shaking.

"Katara, please! "YOU'RE ALL THAT I HAVE LEFT!" With a resounding scream, the words seemed to echo through the entire temple around them. Katara's heart broke once again as she knew no words could possibly fix this situation. Nothing could solve the grief and pain that Aang was forced to take on for the world. All she could do is hold on to him, show him that she would not let him go. She felt the physical shaking begin to lessen, but the anguish and pain in his voice continued as it rang throughout the temple.

"Why me, Katara! Why did I get to live when it was my actions that caused them to die! Not only just my nation, but the entire world suffered because of me! Every single life is precious, and yet thousands were lost. It should have been me. I should have been the one who died so my nation could live. So the world could have kept so many people! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!" Aang's constant yells and screams pierced through the air, and through Katara's heart. Unbeknownst to the two of them, the other three had returned. Toph was sitting with her feet in the air, unable to handle all of the pain that she could feel from the airbender, tears streaming down her face. Sokka and Suki just held each other, their own tears escaping them as they could only watch.

Katara just wished Aang would know how wrong he was. That his life was worth living, and that without him the world would have suffered more. She knew that he probably didn't even truly believe it himself, but his grief and despair had a grasp on him. After his final yell his body finally allowed him to completely collapse into her arms. The two of them sobbed together, mourning the losses of the people they loved and the consequences to a war-torn world. The only thing she would make sure of is that she would not let him go. She held onto him as if her life depended on it.

After 15 minutes of both of them continuing to sob, she could feel life slowly start to enter Aang's body again. His breathing began to steady, and his death-like grip on her started to loosen. Aang picked his head off of her shoulder, and for the first time they just allowed themselves to stare at each other. The sparkle and gleam in his eyes, gone, as was probably the same for hers. For minutes, they continued to stare into each other's eyes, trying to lend the other person strength. At last, with what little strength he had left, he was able to whisper something so soft that not even someone could have heard it if they were standing three feet away.

"I'm sorry Katara." Those three words alone cut into her heart worse than any of his previous statements. She immediately threw him back into her arms, wishing her comfort could erase all of the misery and pain that he had to endure.

"Don't you ever apologize for being you, Aang." The tone sounded harsh, but the sincerity behind it showed how much love that she had to share for him. The two continued to hold each other, until they felt the hands of their 3 other friends on them, coming to reassure them. The group sat in each other's silence for a while, taking everything in. They had managed to bring victory and freedom to the world, but victory comes with a price, and freedom isn't free.

The group had returned to the camp and had all decided that they needed to rest so they could make their journey towards Ba Sing Se tomorrow. Aang hardly spoke the rest of the night, except for when he told them that he would be sleeping with Appa to feel close to his nation again. As he settled down against Appa's soft fur, he noticed a familiar waterbender come next to him. He watched as Katara lay down next to him, and covered them both together with a blanket.

"I'm not letting you sleep alone tonight." She said evenly, as if to answer his look of confusion. "To be honest," she continued, "I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight anyways if I didn't have you." Aang was only able to nod back to her, his eyes forming a distant gaze that seemed to keep him in another world. She took a finger under his chin and lifted it so he could gain a little comfort in her ocean blue eyes. "It's okay to not feel okay, you know." she confided. "I know you have the whole weight of the world on your shoulders, Aang. But I won't let you take it on alone. I so badly wish I could take on some of your pain. I just wanted to let you know that even though you don't feel brave right now, you are the bravest person I know."

This elicited the corners of Aang's mouth to rise for a split second, before his emotions took back over him. "Thank you, Katara. I can't find them right now, but I promise you when we arrive in Ba Sing Se that I will find the words to tell you how I feel about you. But just know you mean the world to me." His voice was weak, but his tone was strong. Katara smiled and blushed, before bringing him into her arms, allowing them to listen to each other's breaths as they fell into a trance of sleep.

The darkness of their past had overtaken them tonight, but the hope of a better future would rise with the sun tomorrow.