This episode is an extended version of a previous drabble so if you read the AHA Drabblefest threads or NO And Other Inconveniences at AO3 it may seem familiar to you.
THE SILLIEST GIRLS IN THE COUNTRY
They could talk of nothing but officers; and Mr. Bingley's large fortune, the mention of which gave animation to their mother, was worthless in their eyes when opposed to the regimentals of an ensign.
After listening one morning to their effusions on this subject, Mr. Bennet coolly observed,—
"From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country. I have suspected it some time, but I am now convinced."
Catherine was disconcerted, and made no answer; but Lydia, with perfect indifference, continued to express her admiration of Captain Carter, and her hope of seeing him in the course of the day, as he was going the next morning to London.
"I am astonished, my dear," said Mrs. Bennet, "that you should be so ready to think your own children silly. If I wished to think slightingly of anybody's children, it should not be of my own, however."
"If my children are silly, I must hope to be always sensible of it."
"Yes; but as it happens, they are all of them very clever."
"This is the only point, I flatter myself, on which we do not agree. I had hoped that our sentiments coincided in every particular, but I must so far differ from you as to think our two youngest daughters uncommonly foolish."
"And whose fault is that?" Catherine suddenly cried out, a little tearfully but vehemently.
"What?" Mr. Bennet was startled.
"Whose job was it to teach us not to be silly? Whose job was it to raise us to be sensible? If there is something wanting in our understanding or behaviour, one might think that our father would take the time to correct us and help us improve. But you, sir, you have never shown the least amount of interest in us unless you can belittle us and put us down."
"How dare you speak to me like that?"
"I have never complained before but you know it is true. You had some interest in teaching Jane and Lizzy things, reading books with them, explaining things like numbers and history. When we wanted to listen you said we were too young and noisy, but when we got older you had some other excuse. Ask your mother, you said, ask your sisters. And mama said, ask your father. It was Jane who taught me to read and all I know about numbers I learned from Lizzy. You, sir, were too busy and important to bother with your youngest daughters."
"I have an estate to think about."
"You had an estate to think about when you taught Jane and Lizzy to read, and discussed Queen Elizabeth and Anne Boleyn with them. When have you ever discussed anything with Lydia or me, anything at all, other than how stupid we are?"
"You are young, you cannot expect to understand serious adult matters."
"I cannot expect to understand serious adult matters because the adults who raised me have not taught me to understand them."
"She is right," Mary said quietly. "I know it annoys you that I read so many sermons, but why do you think that I do so, sir? My own father would not take the time to instruct me how to act but at least Mr. Fordyce considers me worthy of instruction, and thought that I could learn to modify my behaviour."
"Papa considers us a waste of time because none of us is the son that he wanted," Lydia said.
For a long time, nobody said anything.
Eventually, the silence got too oppressive for Mrs. Bennet who felt the need to be conciliatory and started speaking very fast.
"My dear Mr. Bennet, you must not expect young girls to have the sense of their father and mother. When they get to our age, I dare say they will not think about officers any more than we do. I remember the time when I liked a red coat myself very well—and, indeed, so I do still at my heart; and if a smart young colonel, with five or six thousand a year, should want one of my girls, I shall not say nay to him; and I thought Colonel Forster looked very becoming the other night at Sir William's in his regimentals."
"I dare say it is the greatest regret of your life that you married a farmer with two thousand and not a wealthy officer in a splendid uniform," said Mr. Bennet.
"Oh! You must not think that I think of our life together and repine! If only we had had a son…But we have five daughters, and as yet all are unmarried, so of course a mother worries -"
"Marrying off our daughters is all that you can ever talk about!" said Mr. Bennet.
"You know as well as I do that they need to marry," said Mrs. Bennet. "After all, what else is there for them to live on, after you are gone? My four thousand pounds do not go very far."
"You are not alone in the world," Mr. Bennet said. "We have relations who could help."
"Yes! Six women, relying on the charity of relations! A happy thought indeed! I am sure your heir would love to have us all underfoot, so he could dismiss his maid, cook and housekeeper."
"But we cannot cook," Lydia said.
"If you do not marry it might behoove us all to learn. We are not going to able to afford many servants and some of us might have to take a position to supplement our income," said Mrs. Bennet.
"Our prospects of getting a good position are not promising," said Mary, "No one wants a governess who is a mediocre musician and cannot speak French or German."
"With no dowry, no connections, no accomplishments, no deportment, and no extraordinary beauty, we are not a great catch on the marriage mart either," Elizabeth said. "So if we can find a flirtatious officer, foolish enough to take us on and live on a pittance, it is probably the best that most of us can hope for."
"How much is an officer's pay?" Lydia asked.
"I do not know, dear, but unless he is of the highest ranks, probably not enough to support you in the manner that you are accustomed to, unless he has another source of income," Mrs. Bennet said.
"You should not throw yourselves away on a penniless officer," said Mr. Bennet. "You must wait until you meet a gentleman of enough good sense to appreciate you properly."
"If we are the silliest girls of all England, why on earth do you think any gentlemen of good sense would want us?" Catherine exclaimed.
"Where do you propose that we meet those gentlemen of good sense?" Lydia asked practically. "You do not like to go to town or visit elsewhere, so we rarely meet any new people."
"Certainly none who are rich enough that they can afford to marry a penniless girl," Elizabeth said.
"Mr. Bingley and the men from the regiment are the only new bachelors this neighbourhood has seen for for a long time," said Mrs. Bennet. "I expect Mr. Bingley could afford to marry Jane, but I am not sure about any of the officers."
"There is Mr. Darcy too," Mr. Bennet said.
"Yes but he would never look twice at a country girl without a fortune," Elizabeth said. "He is going to marry some cynical heiress who knows every earl and a half at a London soirée."
"I have not done well by you, have I?" sighed Mr. Bennet. "I should have saved more for your dowries. But we always thought we would have a son, and then it seemed too late to start saving."
"Well, we might wish that you had thought of it sooner," said Mary. "But it is not too late to start saving now. Every little bit helps."
This conversation was interrupted by the entrance of a servant with a note for Miss Bennet. Mr. Bingley's sisters had invited Jane to dine with them. The invitation said that the gentlemen of their party were to spend the evening elsewhere.
Mrs. Bennet thought Jane should go on horseback, so she would be asked to stay the night if it should rain.
"I had much rather go in the coach."
"But, my dear, your father cannot spare the horses, I am sure. They are wanted in the farm, Mr. Bennet, are not they?"
"They are wanted in the farm much oftener than I can get them."
"But if you have got them today, my purpose will be answered," Mrs. Bennet said.
"But it looks like raining. What would Mr. Bingley think if Jane arrived on horseback, drenched to the skin, because we could not spare her the carriage?" Lydia asked.
"It would make us look impoverished," said Mary. "Hardly a good prospect."
"Miss Bingley would love to despise us for it," Catherine said. "Country girls with no carriage!"
"Jane, you must take the carriage," Mrs. Bennet said. "Dowry or no dowry, we are not poor! Let no one say we could not afford to travel in all comfort. "