MARCH

Robbie lay on his bed, fully-clothed with his knees at his chin, staring at the montage on his wall. Frozen moments of happier times. Walking hand in hand with Tambry. In their costumes on Halloween. That school dance they'd publicly mocked and privately loved. Several featured her smiling. So rare to most, so frequent around him.

Just like when they'd been of Wendy, he kept them right next to his bed. He'd never told either of them, but he'd done it so they would be the first person he saw when he woke, and the last before he went to sleep.

And, again, just like when they had been of Wendy, they were causing him heartache every morning and night and he couldn't bear to take them down.

He rolled over so he was at least facing away from them, instead looking at the rest of his room. Normally messy, dishevelled, and cluttered, now it looked like someone had ransacked the place and then decided to ransack it again out of resentment for failing to find anything of value the first time.

He looked through the gap in his blinds, the only light in the dank, musty room. Outside, the sun was shining, the sky was blue, and he could hear the distant sounds of Spring starting.

He didn't care. Nothing mattered any more. Love was dead. Life was pointless. An axe-wielding maniac could climb through that window right now and he wouldn't give a damn.

He was just thinking that when a bloodied axe was thrown through his curtains.

"Gah! I was being overly-dramatic! Why does the universe keep taking me so seriously?" he cried, scrambling out of bed and holding his songbook up as a shield. "Whoever you are, I know karate!"

"No, you don't," a familiar voice said.

His terror quickly subsided when Wendy pulled the rest of herself through the window.

"'Sup?" she asked, nimbly leaping into the centre of his room and picking her axe up.

He rolled his eyes at her casual demeanour. "For God's sake, Wendy! You could have given me a heart attack! Why's there blood on your axe?"

"Zombie," she shrugged. "Must have been a fresh one to still bleed like that. Knew your parents could handle her, but it's been a frustrating couple of weeks and I felt like beheading something." She picked a pair of trousers from the floor and used them to wipe her blade clean. "How have you been?"

"Fine!" he snapped, snatching the now ruined jeans out of her hand. "Now get out! I want to be alone!"

"Uh-huh, because that's clearly working out for you," she said, her nose wrinkling as she looked. "Geez, dude, this is worse than my brothers' rooms. Do you ever clean?"

"Do you?"

"Point. But you should at least get some light in here, you're paler than that zombie I just killed." She flung open the curtains, letting the sunshine in. "Much better!" she declared, ignoring Robbie cries of pain as the light seared his pupils. "Or maybe not," she decided, now seeing the piles of dirty clothes, empty cans, unwashed plates, and crumpled scraps of paper that no doubt held his anguished thoughts.

She sniffed, and her nose wrinkled in disgust at the smell of unwashed teen, exaggerated angst, old food, and – "Dude, have you been hitting the bong?"

"Yeah, so what?" he huffed, glaring at her as he held a hand up to block the sun.

"…Got any left?"

Robbie scowled. "No." He held her sceptical gaze for a moment before breaking down. "I finished it yesterday!" he wailed, throwing himself on his bed and crying loudly.

"Great. Me and my timing," she sighed, deciding she'd have better luck visiting Lee or Nate later.

At first, as she waited for the sobbing to stop, she tried to clear the floor so she could at least move her feet without standing on anything. But when a pair of soiled undies fell out of some trousers, she quickly noped out of that idea and only cleared his chair and desk so she could sit down and check her phone.

"What are you doing here?" he eventually asked when his despair had subsided to a manageable level.

"Helping a friend. I'm serious," she said when he scoffed.

"Yeah, right. Between you telling me to grow up, and Lee and Nate making fun of me all the time, I can do without your help. Some friends," he muttered, crossing his arms.

Silence lingered for a moment.

"You're right," Wendy said at last. "I shouldn't have said that. I should have talked to you. I'm sorry. And Lee and Nate - okay, let's be honest: they're idiots. I'll talk to them later, try to get them to lay off. But we haven't been the only ones trying to reach you," she continued, watching him closely. "Tambry's tried texting you, messaging you, hell, she's even tried calling you."

"Don't want to talk to her," he grumbled, turning away. When he found himself staring at her pictures again, he rolled onto his front and pulled his pillow over his head. "Don't want to talk to anyone."

"Dude, I know I just said I shouldn't have told you to grow up but come on, man!" Wendy cried, growing annoyed. "You can't do this every time you have a problem with your girlfriend! It was sad when you did it after I dumped you, and now you're doing it because - because of something that happened before you two were even dating! Hell, you were dating me at the time! You didn't see Tambry acting like this when she thought you and I had-"

"It's not just that!"

"Then what is it? What? How can I help you if you won't tell me?"

"And why should I?" he snarled, throwing the pillow at her, which she easily knocked aside. "Why do you suddenly care? It's been weeks, and now you suddenly show up? And why should I listen to you anyway? You've walked out on every relationship you've ever had!"

They glared at each other for a moment before Wendy pinched her nose and let out a sigh. "You're right. I haven't been a great friend. Or girlfriend, I guess. But I'm trying to be better. You'd know that if you answered my texts," she couldn't help add.

She got up from the desk, walked across the room, and sat down on the bed beside him, ignoring his surprised flinch.

"I should have come here ages ago," she admitted. "I meant to. Seriously. But you're right - I do walk away when a relationship gets hard. And I didn't want to be a hypocrite and tell you to stop avoiding people when things get hard when I'm guilty of it too." She took a deep breath. "So, I've been apologising to my exes."

Robbie's eyes went wide. "Wait, all of them? It's been less than a month, how did you manage to find the time to-?"

"Okay, not all of them. Just, you know, the ones I ghosted. And weren't jerks. But it's actually been kinda hard because it took a while to remember them all. And there were some I couldn't remember if they were the jerk, or I was, or we both were - but now I've finally found them all! I think?"

She frowned thoughtfully - she was so terrible with names - then shrugged. "Anyway, now I can tell you to stop avoiding your relationship issues without sounding like a hypocrite!"

"I mean, you technically have to change your ways for a bit before you can stop calling yourself-"

"Dude, don't be a Dipper, it really doesn't suit you."

"Fine," he grumbled, not sure if he should take that as an insult or a compliment. "So? How was it? Did it go okay?"

Wendy let out a long breath. "It was…hard. Some of them took it better than others. Some were fine, others got mad. Some seemed fine, then got mad, or the other way round. It's been a while for some of them too, so most have moved on, but others haven't. Couple of them really moved on."

"Well that's, er, good. Isn't it?" he asked, confused by her sudden change in expression.

"Yeah, it's great they're out and everything, but five guys? Really? We're a small town, how did I manage that? And that's only the ones that are open about it or who aren't total jerks!"

"What?"

"Er, never mind." She brushed her long hair. Anyway, enough about my crappy love life, let's get yours back on track. Oh, come on, man!" she said when he looked away. "If I can spend weeks tracking down God knows how many guys, you can work up the courage to go talk to Tambry! Send her a text, say you're sorry about being jealous and-"

"It's not just about Thompson!"

"Then what else is there?"

He drew his legs up and wrapped his arms around them. "I know about the love potion, Wendy."

"What love potion?"

He gave her a sharp look. When she only stared back in confusion, his expression relaxed. "You…really didn't know?"

"Hand over my heart and swear to Paul Bunyan, dude, I have no idea what you're talking about."

He got up and tossed several old clothes, cans, bottles, and more aside searching for something. When he finally found the picture album he quickly leafed through it until he could find the right page to show her. "Remember this?"

"Oh, yeah, man, Woodstick! Great time!"

"Uh-huh. Me and Tambry's first real date. You remember that Love God guy?"

"Heh, yeah. Weird to think he was a real god of love with magic potions and - ooooh."

Robbie snapped the book shut. "Yep."

"Wait. So you're saying the reason you and Tambry only got together was because this guy slapped you with one of his love potions? Like the ones Jenna used on the guys?"

"Wasn't the Love God, no."

She stared at him for a moment before dropping her face into her palm. "Goddamn it, Mabel…"

"Yep. She called me when she heard Tambry and I were having problems. I didn't tell her what it was about!" he added quickly when she gave him a sharp look. "She just thinks I'm jealous because they dated in secret or something." He pulled a face before putting the image of his girlfriend with another man - and THOMPSON of all people! - out of his mind. "I told her it wasn't any of her business and she wouldn't understand, then she told me it was her business because she's the one who got us together. Said Tambry and I were proof of her matchmaking skills and she had magical evidence to support it. And when I pushed her on what she meant…"

"That - ugh, I really need to have another talk with that girl - okay." She twirled the pine tree cap in her hands, a pensive expression crossing her face. "Fine. That sounds exactly like the sort of thing she'd do. I know she means well and I love her but - dude, don't be mad at her, okay? She's still a kid at heart, you know what she's like with boundaries and-"

"I'm not mad, I'm just - disappointed."

"Dude, I swear," Wendy's voice was low and dangerous now. "If you told Mabel you were disappointed in her, I will-"

"Woah, woah, I wouldn't do that" he said quickly, motioning for her to calm down. "I like Mabel! Really! She was the one who believed in me and tried to cheer me up when no one else would! Besides, no way would I risk hurting her when you're so protective and half the town loves her," he muttered.

"Okay. So. She used magic to get you and Tambry together, and now you're worried it's only because of this potion and if it wears off-"

"Nah, she said it only lasts a short time, like the potions Jenna sprayed us with."

"Then what's the problem, dude?" She couldn't hide her frustration. "Why are you acting like this? If it was just a temporary thing, it shouldn't-!"

"Because my love life is based on a lie!" he yelled at her. "I was happy! And now I find out I was basically tricked! That she was tricked! I finally found someone who loves me and she only agreed to it because a twelve-year old spiked our fries! I thought Tambry managed to pull herself away from that stupid phone because I was more important! That I was finally over you because I found someone better! But none of that's true! Not really!"

"Oh." Wendy blinked as he kicked out at a pile of clothes, glaring at them. Then his scowl dropped, replaced with an expression of abject misery.

"Our first kiss, Wendy. Our first status update, our first photo, all of it happened in those first few hours and now - now every time I think about them I realise they're fake. We didn't do them because we wanted to, not really! And now, even if I know that the spell only lasted a couple of hours…I can't help wondering how much that influenced everything else. Like - like me."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Look at me, Wendy," he whispered. "I'm a petty, selfish jerk. I know it. You know it. And I thought Tambry knew it, and accepted it. That's part of why I love her so much. But…I only managed to get over you because of a stupid spell. And she only put up with me at the start for the same reason. But this time there's no magic to take away my jealousy. We've been together almost two years but here I am. I haven't changed from that self-centred, insecure idiot who felt threatened by some kid with a crush. Only now I'm obsessing over Thompson of all people! Thompson! From a stupid thing years ago when they'd had too much to drink! He's even less of a threat than Dipper was!"

"Okay." Wendy held up a hand. "Dipper was never a threat to our relationship; he was twelve. I know I have low standards, but I'm not a cradle -"

"Maybe that's the real issue," he continued, ignoring her objection to stare at the pictures again. "It's not just that I can't handle my jealousy - it's that she shouldn't have to deal with crap like this. She doesn't deserve this, Wendy. She deserves better than me. Maybe…maybe if I'm this petty and cause her this much hurt over something so stupid…it's better if we don't see each other. For her sake."

Wendy watched his sad, deflated form. Usually when he was upset he'd exaggerate or try to play it off as no big deal. This, however, was different. Like he was on the very brink of despair. She wished she had something she could use to relate to his pain, offer him some insight. But the most she'd ever felt about a boy had been, ironically, when she was dating Robbie, and that was far behind them both. But that didn't mean she didn't still care.

"Look, Robbie, I came here to offer some advice despite us both knowing I suck at it. But-" she put a hand on his arm "-I think what you and Tambry have is really special. I'm honestly jealous. I want you two back together. Because - however it happened - I think you guys are perfect for each other. So I'm here for you if you need anything."

Robbie turned to her, sniffing and with tears in his eyes. "I think…I think I need the hug?"

Wendy hesitated. "Uh, I know I said anything, but you know I don't- oof! Aaand you've doing it anyway," she sighed as he held her tight.

"Uuu why do I ruin everything? Ugh!"

"There, there, buddy," she grunted, patting his head awkwardly. Then she gagged as his body odour hit her. "Geez, dude! You smell like Dipper after a monster chase! When was the last time you showered?

"Dunno. Whadayzit?"

"Sunday."

"Which Sunday?"

"Never mind, dude, I don't think I want to know," she decided, trying to think of something to distract her from the smell and the sobs in her ear. "You, uh, sound stressed. Sure you don't have any weed left?"

"I wish I did!" he cried, hugging her tighter.

Great! Lot of use you are! "That's okay, pal," she said out loud, reaffirming her decision to visit Lee and Nate later. "Probably for the best."

When he was finally done she quickly took a seat in case he suddenly needed another embrace. "Feel better?"

"A little," he sniffed.

"Good. But I don't think you should be making decisions about your relationship on your own. If you're having problems with your insecurities, you need to tell Tambry." She rubbed the back of her neck. "If there's one thing that I've learned talking to my exes, it's that it's not fair to just walk out of someone else's life without a reason. And I know Tambry. She loves you too. And she wants you back. Selfish, insecure jerk or not."

"Yeah," he sighed. "But - whenever I think about her, I can't help getting mad about Thompson and I know if I don't get that under control then I'll let it ruin everything!"

Wendy scratched her head under her cap. "Look, I don't know, man. Take deep breaths? Count to ten? I've dated a lot of guys, but I'm not really an expert on love, and this is getting too deep for me and I don't want to ruin it for you. Do you know anyone else who can help you with this sort of thing?"

Robbie snorted. "Like who? My parents? There's no one I can - wait. Wait, there is! I need to make a call!"

"Enter, but be quick!" Mabel called when someone knocked at her door.

"Hey, Mabel, can you quickly stitch my - why are you wearing that?" Dipper asked, stopping in the doorway.

"What, my matchmaking outfit?" she asked, peeking at him from over her tinted love-heart shaped glasses as she plucked at her rainbow sweater. "Why, because it helps me focus when I'm called upon to save the day!"

"What have you done?" he asked warily.

"Nothing! Yet. You know that Robbie and Tambry are having issues, right?"

"Uh-huh," Dipper answered cautiously. He suspected he knew more about it than his sister, considering the jokes Lee and Nate had made in their group chat before Wendy had threatened them. But that wasn't a conversation he wanted to have with his sister.

"Well, no doubt Robbie and/or Tambry and/or one of the gang will ask me for advice to fix it! I'm the Matchmaker Queen! Responsible for such wonderful ships as Waders and Melsoos!"

"Sticking a pig and goat together isn't very romantic. And I thought it was Soosmel?"

"After some careful deliberation, I re-evaluated the name and came to the decision-"

"Is that what they call it in the future, and you decided to steal it because it sounds better?"

"You want me to stitch your thing or not?" she snapped.

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Fine. It was your stupid cat; you should be repairing it anyway."

"Chairman Meow is the family cat, Dipper, he loves us all equally," Mabel replied as she expertly repaired his jacket. "He just likes me the most because he has excellent taste. Now get out because that's obviously Robbie or someone looking for my matchmaking expertise." She picked up her ringing phone. "Hello, Mabel the Magical Matchmaker, how can I-"

"Mabel, you idiot!" Pacifica screamed at her. "What on Earth made you think it was a good idea to drug people?"

"And that's my cue," Dipper decided, leaving quickly as Mabel winced and returned the phone to her stinging ear.

"Pacifica? How did you hear about that?" she asked, surprised.

"Wendy told me! She's right here." Mabel only then noticed that it was a video call, probably from Pacifica's tablet in what looked like a table at the park, Wendy peering over Pacifca's shoulder. "She said she needed someone to try and help her talk some sense into you and I'm better at being the bad cop! Now answer the question!"

"I - look, I get it, not my finest moment. But can we do this later? I'm expecting Robbie or Tambry to call me any second now for love advice."

"Uh, actually, Mabel, Robbie's gone to see someone else for that." Wendy said from the side.

Mabel blinked. "He WHAT? Who the heck could possibly give better love advice than Mabel Pines?"

"You came to the right place, dawg," Soos said . "I'm married, so that makes me an expert on love and junk."

"I know, right?" Robbie said, nodding enthusiastically. "That's exactly what I was thinking. So, can you help me with my problem?"

Soos stoked his chin, making thoughtful "Hmmm" sounds for a while, Robbie waiting patiently for his sage advice.

"Nope, don't see the problem, dude."

Robbie stared at him, Soos staring right back with a contented smile.

"Are you serious?" Robbie cried when he'd finally found his voice again. "I just told you that my girlfriend - the love of my life - was with another guy! And that other guy is Thompson! THOMPSON! Thompson T. Thompson! Do you know what the T stands for? Thompson! Even his name is a joke! Now I can't stop thinking about them together!"

"Yep, got all that," Soos said, nodding. "Still don't see the problem."

"The problem is I can't even talk to her because I can't stop thinking about them! I mean, I know she'd dated other guys before me, but this is something else!" Robbie paced around the Shack, seething that he'd come all the way here for nothing. "How would you feel if you found out Melody had, er, dated one of your friends?"

Soos frowned. "Didn't you and Wendy used to date before? Aren't you three okay with that?"

"What? Well - yeah. B-but that was different. Wendy was furious at first!"

"At first, sure. But you guys got over it and now you don't care, do you?"

"There's a big difference between me dating Wendy before Tambry and what happened between Tambry and Thompson!"

Soos clapped a hand to his forehead. "Oh! Because that happened years ago while you were dating and she was single, but when you started dating your ex's best friend that was only a couple of weeks after you broke Wendy's heart! I see it now! Yeah, what you did was way worse."

"No, that's not what I-" Robbie hesitated. "I mean, I wouldn't say 'way' worse." He suddenly thought back to what it must have been like for Wendy at the time before shaking his head. "Anyway, we didn't mean to do that to her! We only got together because of that magic potion, so it doesn't count!"

"Didn't you say that they only lasted a couple of hours?"

"Still doesn't count! And you're missing the point! The first one is Thompson! I can't get it out of my head, man! What should I do? How would you handle this?"

"Dunno, dude. Talk to Melody about it? That's what couples do, really."

"I CAN'T talk to her!" Robbie yelled. "I want to! But I'm too insecure! Whenever I try, I get mad! And what if she leaves me because I'm too insecure and mad? And what if that's the best thing for her? And what if she's as freaked out by the love potion thing as I am? Or isn't but sees how freaked out I am and can't handle it?"

Robbie slumped down onto the floor, his back against the counter. "I don't know, man. It's so much to take in. Like, choice and destiny and…stuff I'm not smart enough to understand, honestly. But the woman I thought was my dream girl - well, she kinda is, but we were pushed together instead of finding it naturally. And…I don't know, what if things change? Most relationships don't last forever. Just because we're in love now, doesn't mean it will last." He dropped his head on his knees. "Especially with someone like me screwing it all up."

Soos leaned over and put a large, gentle hand on the young man's shoulder. "Come with me," he said when Robbie looked up. "I want to show you something."

Curious despite his despair, Robbie followed the large man through the curtain of beads and into the Shack's office - now decorated with posters of Tiger Fist, video games, and several anime characters. "You know, I wasn't always the super-cool, awesome, perfect man and husband I am today," Soos began. He chuckled. "Heck, once I was even bad with women!"

"Hard to believe," Robbie grunted.

"I know, right? Only real girlfriends I had before Melody were a yandere and some woman who lost interest in me after I stopped being a pig. Great kisser, though!"

"Uh-huh," Robbie said slowly, unsure how to respond to that as he watched Soos going through his cabinets.

"Haha, yep! That Waddles is really something! Anyway, apart from that I was terrible with women before I met Melody. They used to yell at me, run away, scream in horror, all that kinda stuff. But I held out hope because I always thought that one day, I would find…This!"

He turned and unrolled an old piece of paper to reveal a picture of a very muscular woman flexing in an American flag bikini.

"Uh, what is that?"

"This was my dream woman, dude! I asked a magic mailbox about her and it sent me this. Awesome, right?"

"That…isn't Melody," Robbie said, suddenly feeling incredibly awkward.

"Nope!" Soos agreed, rolling it back up. "Which was weird at first, but now I'm over it. See, I don't really know what that mailbox meant when it sent me this. At first I thought that this was who I was meant to be with. But then I met Melody and I can't imagine being with anyone else. So maybe this was supposed to be what I thought my dream woman would be like at the time? Or heck, maybe she is really out there, waiting for me."

Soos stared at the rolled up paper for a while before shrugging. "Either way, it doesn't matter. I'm happy with what I have. More than happy."

Robbie frowned as Soos returned the picture to its proper place. "I don't get it. This, er, mailbox, tells you about your perfect woman, then you find someone else, but you don't care?"

"Nope!" Soos answered, happily. "I don't care what some magic thing said about another woman, or if it can predict the future, 'cause that isn't my dream woman anymore. Even if I meet her on the street tomorrow, it doesn't change how much I love my wife. How our love started, or what we did before we met, or whether magic thinks we should be together or not - none of that matters. I love her and she loves me. I don't care about the rest."

Robbie nodded, letting Soos' words sink in. He had a good point. Honestly, they were all things Robbie already knew, but was struggling with regardless. But hearing them from an adult whose opinion he respected - not that he'd openly admit it - and who could actually relate to the issue in some way, that made it connect with him like no one else could have done.

It finally gave him the push he felt he needed to try and fix things with Tambry. He was almost ready. The only problem was -

"But Thompson! I know she was drunk, but come on, man!"

Soos shrugged. "We all make mistakes, dawg. Look at Wendy! Or Mister Pines. Heck, even Melody once dated a magician!"

"Oh, man, that is bad! No offence."

"None taken. That was before she met me. And our first date wasn't the best either. We almost got killed by a video game character."

Robbie groaned. "Hate it when that happens!"

"Yep. Also awkward 'cause she was kinda my ex. But you know what? Melody didn't care. And I didn't care who she'd dated either. We decided to focus on our futures, not the past. Because the future had her in it. Now she's my present too. And that's a gift, dawg."

Robbie smiled, despite himself. "That's pretty clever, man."

"What is?"

"Oh. Never mind. But you've made a lot of sense, Soos. You're way smarter than you look!"

"That's what people tell me," Soos grinned, his chest swelling with pride.

"Guess no there's only one last thing for me to do," Robbie said, with a determined nod. "Go and -"

"Take a shower!"

"- talk to Tamb- what?"

"Oh, yeah, that too," Soos said, lowering the fist he'd swung in excitement. "But, yeah, definitely shower first dude. You're starting to smell like-"

"I know, I know!" Robbie rolled his eyes. "Like Dipper."

"Oh, you're way past that, man. You're closer to Wendy's boots."

"Oh man, seriously?" Robbie raised an arm for a quick sniff and gagged. "Okay, you're right! She'll never take me back like this." Robbie grinned up at Soos and punched him lightly on the arm. "Thanks again, man. For giving even more great advice. And for putting things into context. Really opened my eyes."

Soos clapped his shoulder and smiled in return. "Happy to help, dude!" he cried as he led the much happier-looking teen out the office. "Guess you can almost call me a magical matchmaker!"

"Can't believe Robbie went to Soos instead of the Magical Matchmaker," Mabel pouted.

"Mabel, stop calling yourself that, it will never catch on."

"Will."

"Won't."

"Will!"

"Won't!"

"Would you two focus?" Pacifica snapped. "This is already taking too long already. Can't believe I'm wasting my day off doing this," she muttered, reaching under the park bench to rub Duchess' head for comfort. "Alright, let's try this again. Mabel. What have you learned?" she asked very slowly, both her and Wendy watching their friend very carefully from the screen of Pacifca's tablet.

"That putting a mysterious substance - magical or otherwise - in someone's food and or drink without asking their permission is wrong?"

"That still sounded like a question instead of a statement, but that's progress. I guess."

"Yep," Mabel said, nodding to herself. "Totally learned my lesson. Now I'll read the fine print before drugging anyone."

"No!" Pacifca cried as Wendy let out a weary groan. "How many times do we need to go over this? Drugging people is bad! Drugs are bad!"

"I wouldn't say all drugs are-"

"Shut up, Wendy!" Pacifca took a deep breath. "Okay, Mabel? Repeat after me: I will not put any drugs in peoples food - whether they agree or not! - for any reason whatsoever."

Mabel rolled her eyes. "Fine. I won't put any drugs in people's food whether they agree or not."

"For any reason whatsoever," Pacifica repeated emphatically.

"For any reason whatsoever," Mabel grunted in annoyance.

"Great! Finally, we're done! Now remember, Mabel, I was recording that so if you ever break your word, I'll-"

"Although if you think about it," Mabel began slowly.

"No!" Pacifica shouted as Wendy moaned. "No 'although'! This was wrong! Bad, Mabel! Bad!"

"Come on, Mabes! We've been at this for hours!"

"But it worked out in the end!" Mabel protested. "Don't you guys see what this means? It was love, Wendy! And not just love, but true love! This is confirmation that I really am the world's greatest matchmaker! Magical proof!" Mabel's head disappeared as she stood up and took what probably looked like a triumphant pose. "I am Mabel Pines! Magical Matchmaker! I'm awwwesome, I'm speeeeecial, I'm brillllllliant! I'm-"

"And now she's dancing," Pacifica sighed.

"Great, that's at least ten minutes before she remembers we're here." Wendy twisted her neck until it cracked, ignoring Pacifica's shudder. "I need a Pitt from the vending machine, want one?"

"Please," Pacifica sighed with her head in her hands, Duchess trying to bring her some comfort with her licks.

"Then pay up Princess, I'm not a charity."

"Great way to talk to someone after asking for their help," Pacifica muttered, handing her the money and rubbing her dog's ears as thanks.

Wendy smirked then froze as a sudden thought hit her. "How long did it take you to learn your lesson about sharing again?"

"About six months? Why?"

Wendy threw her head back and groaned. "I knew I should have seen Lee and Nate before this!"

Tambry lay on the couch in the living room, slowly scrolling through the images on her phone. Saved memories of happier times. The Halloween party. Their dates and birthdays. They used to bring her such warmth. But now they were causing her nothing but grief. All because of one stupid mistake she could barely remember, back when he was dating her best friend.

He was an idiot. A stupid, selfish, petty, idiotic jerk, who wouldn't listen to her. Well, if he was this insecure, maybe she was better off without him. He was acting like a self-centred child, making her life a misery because he was too immature to think of anyone else. She was probably better off without him!

God, she missed him.

His smile, his laugh, his songs, his stupid jokes. She missed it all. The way he made her feel warm inside, and eager for a life that had seemed so bland before. Now everything was bland again. Worse than that, it was dull and grey and miserable, despite the sun shining through the windows.

The doorbell rang and she didn't care. It rang again and she didn't care. It rang again and again and she didn't care. It rang again and again and again and again and-

"What?" she screamed, yanking the door open, then stopped at the site in front of her.

Robbie, pale and shivering, his hair wet, and mascara dripping down his face despite the cloudless skies, stood gaping at her for a moment before he swallowed thickly. "H-hey, babe. I know I messed up. Bad. But I love you and-"

The rest of what he was saying was cut off as she threw her arms round him. "Idiot," she whispered. "Stupid, selfish, jerk. I love you."

"Yeah," he whispered back as he put his own arms around her. "I am. And I love you too." He cleared his throat and firmly, but very gently, pushed her away until they were at arms length. "Listen - babe. There's something I need to tell you. Can I come in?"

"I guess that explains a lot," Tambry said, sipping at her coffee.

"Wait, you're not shocked?" Robbie asked incredulously.

"More 'surprised'. It does explain why I suddenly found you so attractive. And I'm definitely not happy about it." her eyes narrowed. "When I get my hands on that little twerp, I will-"

"Please leave Mabel alone?" Robbie pleaded. "She meant well. Yeah, she messed up, but she forgave me for what I put her brother through, so the least I can do is let her off for this one."

"Weird to see you so forgiving."

Robbie scratched himself nervously. "I guess I have a soft spot for her? Lee and Wendy have one for the dork, why can't I have one for her?" He looked at her closely. "But what about you? Why are you forgiving me so easily? After all I've put you through."

"Oh, I haven't. Not completely, anyway." She peered at him over the rim of her cup as she sipped. "Trust me, Robbie valentino, I am going to make your life hell for a very long time for what you've put me through."

"Oh," he said, squirming under her gaze.

"But I'm too glad to have you back to do anything right now. Besides," she added, giving a sniff. "You look like you've suffered a lot worse than me."

"You should have seen me before I showered," Robbie grumbled, unable to argue.

"That bad?"

"Pretty bad," he admitted. "Actually, I was in such a rush I didn't spray afterwards. Does your dad have some deodorant I can use or something?"

"He's…out of town. With Mom."

"Oh, guess he won't mind then," Robbie said, getting to his feet.

"Probably not," Tambry said. "Since we're all alone. Just the two of us."

Robbie gave her confused look. "Why are you saying it like that?"

She scowled in annoyance. "God, do I have to spell it out for you? Look, I know you're still a little upset about what happened between me and Thompson."

Robbie groaned. "Do we really need to bring that up after-"

"So what I'm suggesting is we do something to help you get over it."

"Like what, a movie or something?"

"...or something," she said, looking away with a faint blush.

It took Robbie a very long time to realise what she was implying. Embarrassingly long, in fact. When he finally did, his eyes went wide. "Wait! Are you saying-?"

"Yes, that's what I'm saying, you idiot!" she snapped, losing her patience. "Now do you want to or not?"

Robbie hesitated, staring at her, the love of his life and the most beautiful woman he'd ever met, finally offering what he'd desired since they'd started dating. "Um…No thanks?"

Tambry stared at him. "What."

"No! That didn't come out right! I want to! Definitely! But not like this! Not as a way to take my mind off something that I shouldn't even be bothered by, or - or -" Robbie floundered, desperately trying to find the words to explain himself, made so much harder by her intense look.

"Look, I've spent this whole time away from you thinking I wasn't good enough! So I want to change! I want to be the kind of guy who deserves someone as great as you! And that means I shouldn't take advantage of you when you're upset, or try to use guilt - or whatever's happening here."

He ran his hand through his hair, trying to voice the thoughts and emotions and desires that all ran rampant in his head, made harder by the hammering in his chest.

"I want our first time to really mean something because you mean something! I don't want it to be a makeup thing after I almost ruined what we have. That's not cool. That's the type of boyfriend I was to Wendy and she didn't deserve it, and neither do you! No one does! And I definitely shouldn't be rewarded for it! So I'm…going to have to say no. Not until I've become someone worthy of your love."

Tambry frowned. "Didn't Wendy say Dipper once used a line like that?"

Robbie shrugged. "Eh, probably. He's pretty good at motivational speeches on moral lessons and crap."

"Right. So what you're saying," Tambry began slowly. "Is that - despite barely seeing me for most of a month and offering the exact thing that caused our fight in the first place - you're turning me down?"

"Um," said Robbie, scarcely able to believe it himself. "Yes?"

Tambry's stare intensified. "That is so hot."

Robbie blinked. "What?"

"Like, really, hot," she growled. "We can still make out, right?"

"Um," Robbie said, feeling more confused now than in his entire life. "I guess?"

"Great, let's go," Tambry said, taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs. "It's been a month and I've really missed you."

As Robbie numbly followed her, he slowly realised that, whatever their future held, he would never fully understand the love of his life. But, as she pulled him down onto the bed, and with their arms around each other and lips finally connecting after too long apart, he also decided that that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Thompson T. Thompson lay in bed, paying careful attention to a group chat of his friends, trying to work out how to feel. On one hand, Tambry and Robbie were back together. That was good! On the other hand, Lee and Nate were still tearing him a new one with their jokes. That was bad. But it looked like the gang was back together! That was very good! But Robbie was probably still bitter and things had been awkward with Tambry since Valentines, which was very bad.

Because that meant he might be ostracised for a little longer, and he couldn't handle being alone. It was the worst thing ever. He needed to do something, something to get himself back in. The runover waffle and Woodstick plan were still infamous, how could he beat something like that? Maybe if he got himself chased by and angry-

His thoughts were interrupted by a text from an unknown number, reading: How are you?

He frowned and hit a quick reply.

TTT: Who R U?

?: Someone who wants to make sure you're alright.

TTT: Is this a scam?

?: No. But I can see why you'd think that. You're smarter than you let people know.

TTT: W is this U? Not in mood for prank.

?: I'm not Wendy. I'm just concerned.

?: Have your friends tried to reach you? To apologise?

TTT: Who IS this?

?: Someone who's willing to listen if you need someone to talk to. And thinks you deserve better friends.

He frowned at this, uncomfortable with the familiarity of this stranger, when they sent another text.

?: This is strange. I get that. But if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm available. Or the Professor. She's great too. And she'll probably tell you the same thing I did.

?: You're a good kid, Thompson. Don't let your friends keep dragging you down. Take care of yourself.

Thompson stared at the messages, unsure what to make of them. "This is stupid, you don't know what you're talking about," he muttered to himself, putting his phone away and rolling over to get some sleep. But it took him a long time to do so, thinking about what the stranger had said. And he continued to think about it as the days went on.