Chapter 2 - Mixed Emotions

Me and Caitlin laughed and joked as we walked out of the golden field, hand in hand. I had to admit, I felt a little drowsy and sleepy after we had both had an excessive period of close contact together and quite frankly, I was surprised but ecstatic at the same time that my girlfriend had managed to have this effect on me, but I didn't worry about it much because as I said, I felt too fatigued for my mind to overreact. However, I must've conveyed my emotions a lot more than I thought because Caitlin wrapped her arm around my neck.

"Are you all right, sweet?" she asked me softly.

I nodded, raising a hand to my forehead and rubbing it as I did. "Y-Yeah. Just a little tired, that's all."

Caitlin smiled supportively. "Is it the heat of the sun, or is it the fact that we've had a long week at school, or is it both?

"I…guess so." By now, we had reached the metal gate that had closed us off from the field before we had arrived. I dragged it backwards and held out my right hand as a gesture for Caitlin to walk through. "After you, my love."

Caitlin blushed and smiled. "Oh, thank you!" she flicked back a lock of her bouncy hair, walked through the gateway and out onto the path that led uphill. I closed the gate behind me and I briefly winced because of the loud clang of the bars against the latch.

I was silent for a moment. I looked back over at the field overlooking the rivers and the trees and my eyes met with the sky. I sighed dismally inside my head. The moment, the moment that had felt like the main highlight of mine and Caitlin's relationship was all over. It was so special and it seemed that if we were to come here again at the exact same time…it just wouldn't feel the same.

Despite that I had my back to Caitlin, I could tell that she was staring at me and smiling broadly. "So, are we ready to go, then?" she asked.

Reluctantly, I turned around and faced my girlfriend with a weak smile. "Yeah." I said, nodding. "Let's go." I slipped my hand into Caitlin's and we both started walking up the hill, the hard and inflicting terrain hurting my feet even through the soles of my sneakers and making the desire to collapse onto my bed all the more robust.

However, Caitlin must've understood how I felt due to the warmth of my hand and my colossal amount of drowsiness because she tightened her grip and looked into my eyes. "Larry, are you sure you're alright? You look sad now."

I took a deep breath in through my nose and sighed heavily. "It's stupid, but it's just…I absolutely loved that moment together and I guess that I'm sad because that moment's over now and I feel like something like that will never happen again."

Caitlin furrowed her brow and placed her hand on my cheek. "Oh…is that what's wrong? You're saying that even if we did come back here, then it wouldn't feel the same as how it was this time?"

"Yeah, exactly."

By now, we had reached the top of the cobbly hill and we were now staring at a row of old houses and cottages. I noticed that to our far left, there was our school building with the signature deep blue gate surrounding it and to our right was the road that stretched out in a straight line as far as the Koopa eye could see and then it bended round a corner.

I remembered where we were at this point and that was because from here, this was the route that Iggy drove me home every single day after school, well, every other day to be exact because of the fact that Lemmy's gymnastics club started the moment I came out of school and there wasn't really much point waiting extra ten minutes for me to get picked up when it took me and Wendy ten minutes to walk home by ourselves.

Right now, I wished that Iggy's car would come flying around the corner in a flash and we would both be driven home because I felt too lethargic to walk. However, I also felt a little guilty upon thinking that because it would probably make Caitlin think I didn't love her. I tried to increase my energy by talking to her and trying to make her laugh, but for some reason, she looked a little serious and curious when I talked to her. I must've made her feel so much so that she asked me a question that I hoped she wouldn't ask, ever.

"Larry, why did you ask me if I loved you or not?"

I was suddenly caught so off guard by that random question that all I could do was stare down at the floor and stutter. "Well…uh, because…uh…" Now, it wasn't the inconvenience of the question that was making me squirm, in fact, I was now experiencing a whole different emotion. The softness of Caitlin's brown eyes were refraining me from speaking and I was becoming easily distracted. I knew I had to answer my girlfriend somewhen tonight, so I shook all of that distraction away like a dog out of a bath and sighed before beginning. "Something else has been on my mind recently."

"Really?" Caitlin said, raising an eyebrow. "Well, you seriously can't expect yourself to keep whatever that might be stuck in your system like that." She squeezed my hand tight and led me across the road towards the school where there was a huge descending hill and she stopped me right at the top. She rested her head on my shoulder and said, "Whatever you're going through right now, it's okay. I'm here and I'll always be willing to listen to you no matter what you have to say."

I sighed. Caitlin was such a sweet and kind girl and I was receiving love and support. Love and support that I would probably nowhere near deserve after I had said what I wanted to say, but I had to get this all off my chest at one point because at least it would make Caitlin happy that I was secure. Sure, she could be quite pushy and stubborn at times, but that was because she wanted the best for me, but I felt that that was all going to change if I opened my mouth. Great. Now I was screwed either way, but after a moment, I decided to do what was best for me.

"Um…you probably won't like this, but…" I stopped and swallowed a lump. "I have this sort of feeling that…our relationship won't last."

Caitlin placed her hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes, which were trying their best not to tear up. "Why would you think that, sweetie?"

"Well, uh…school's getting quite difficult now. We're being set more homework assignments, revision booklets for millions of tests and…I don't think I'll have a lot of time to spend with you, which is the thing I want most in the world."

"Oh, Larry." Caitlin sighed. "I never thought you were thinking like this, and don't worry about a thing. I'm sure that we'll have at least some time together, so it's not all that bad."

I shook my head. "That's just the first part." I said dismally. "There are other things that are much, much worse to think about…and say for that matter."

"Okay, okay." Caitlin said, pulling me close. "What is it?"

I put a hand to my forehead. "Maybe our relationship might last throughout the whole of High School, but what about after that? What will come next? Will we even get a job together? Will we ever see each other again?" I stopped to catch my breath and clear my throat. "And also, do you know how some guys and girls are these days?"

Caitlin nodded. "I think so. There are some relationships that start off as looking like one night stands, but instead, they get much more detailed."

"I know." I said, my voice becoming all wobbly. "Normally, it doesn't take long for an average guy to get a girlfriend because all he has to do is flirt with her, she will become all giggly and they'll immediately go around as if they're married or something."

"And…what's the root of this?" Caitlin asked.

At this point, the lump in my throat now felt like a huge rock with jagged edges that were dragging their way down my throat. "I just feel like that's going to happen to you. One day, some guy is going to steal you away from me using that strategy…I just know it."

I was expecting Caitlin to feel sad and sympathetic, but instead, she smiled and wrapped her arms around me. "You don't need to worry about that!" she giggled. "Some of the other popular and bitchy girls at school I could imagine that happening to, but…" she continued to fall into a hysterical fit of giggles. "I'm not that stupid!" At the sight of my girlfriend's cute, little, happy face, I began to smile a little bit. "Oh, sweet…you're worrying about something that's never going to happen, believe me."

"Oh…well that's the relief of a lifetime." I remarked, then something amusing crossed my mind. I put on a mischievous smile. "What are you going to do if a guy ever tries doing that to you?"

Caitlin's face transformed into that of mine. "I'll kick him in the balls so hard that he will never get a girlfriend or have kids."

I rubbed my nose and chuckled as Caitlin laughed at her own joke beside me. "So, you really do love me and we are going to be together for a long time?" I asked.

"Of course we are! You know, I think you worry too much sometimes."

"I know I do." I hung my head. "Sorry for being such a depressing douchebag."

Caitlin took my hand and began walking down the hill as the very last modicum of the sunset made itself known by shining onto her skin and lighting her whole body up, just like it had been in that field, and just like it had been in the field, I couldn't take my eyes off her looking a million times more beautiful. "Don't say that." she said, softly. "I love you even when you are a douchebag."

Soon, the last of the sunset had vanished and the streets were dampened in the tiniest amount of darkness, but still, that didn't matter because the darkness seemed to have a beautiful effect on Caitlin that made her look like a night fairy that manipulated my mind into having pleasant and sweet dreams about her and my word did that make me feel like the luckiest kid in the world.

Me and my girlfriend walked hand in hand, side by side all the way to my house and my heart pumped like a piston as we got closer to the front door, for I knew full well what was going to happen. Caitlin stopped me right in front of the door, she wrapped her arms tightly round me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I immediately returned the kiss and I brushed my fingers through Caitlin's hair, sighing lovingly as she massaged my shoulders.

At last, after what seemed like an hour of absolute heaven, she let go of me slowly. "I love you, Larry." she whispered.

"I love you more, Caitlin." I replied as she caught me by the hand whilst walking away back to her own home.

"I'll call you later, okay?" she said.

I nodded, smiled the biggest smile before waving and watching her go.