HP & TPS – Part III

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

"What?" asked Fred and George, stupid expressions plastered on their faces.

Harry sighed. Sometimes he wondered why he was friends with the twins.

"It's a Muggle saying before an explosion occurs," explained Harry.

The twins sent him cheeky grins.

"Oh you – "

"Don't say that word again, Harry," growled the twins. "We are not that."

Harry and the twins were out on a nightly pranking spree. They were following up on an idea suggested by Molly Weasley herself.

Blowing up some toilets.

"The last one has now been set," finished Harry. "The first one should be going off by nine-thirty tomorrow morning, while we're all in class."

"Brilliant."

IlIlIlIlI

The first toilet blew up as they were all having breakfast the next morning.

Harry looked up in surprise, an action not missed by Professor Snape.

By the time the third toilet blew up, the staff had left the table and were now chasing the exploding sounds.

"Did you hear," a student nearby spoke. "Somebody's running around exploding toilets. The teachers are chasing whoever's doing it, but they don't know which bathroom they're hitting next."

So they messed up the timing somehow – the toilets weren't supposed to blow up for another hour at least. It was still going brilliantly. Harry smirked into his breakfast, imagining Snape, Dumbledore and McGonagall running after the sound of exploding toilets, hoping to catch the culprit.

Too bad the culprits had finished their work seven hours ago.

The best part. A heavily soaked and angry Dumbledore walking into the hall and announcing that morning classes were cancelled as he and the professors sorted out the mess.

IlIlIlIlI

After his one-hour bath, Albus Dumbledore found himself in a predicament. He hadn't thought about it going in, but now he was staring at his toilet in horror. To leave the room he had to go in front of it, and he did not trust it to explode in his face.

There was only one person who would willingly help him. But he feared the consequences if he called Poppy Pomfrey to help. She made it very clear that the next time she saw him, he was getting another enema.

It took him nearly twenty hours before he got over his fear and managed to get out of the bathroom unharmed.

It wasn't until he got in his bed did he realise he had almost missed the Wizengamot trial of Loughton Jarley. He stormed into the Wizengamot ten minutes late and snapped at everyone.

As he sat there tired and hungry, he imagined having Harry Potter down there in the chair testifying his guilt in the toilet explosion.

That boy is going to drive me mad, he thunderously thought. I should have retired ten years ago.

IlIlIlIlI

"It's alive," mimicked Harry. "It's alive, it's alive."

He and Fred had managed to bewitch a couple of knights on the Third Floor.

"Alright, you will go to the – "

"Harry, run," whispered Fred, staring to his right.

"Damn," said Harry, noticing Mrs Norris.

He and Fred ran down the left corridor even deeper into the hallway and found only one door there.

"Alohomora," muttered Harry.

He and Fred slipped inside. George was currently in the Hospital Wing after a Potions mishap earlier in class.

They heard Filch enter the hallway and then leave.

"What is that noise?" asked Fred.

Harry heard it then. Something was growling behind him. He turned and stared.

"What is a three-headed dog doing in Hogwarts?" asked Harry dumbfoundedly.

The large beast was the size of a truck, with large jaws, massive snouts for noses, with threatening hungry eyes.

"GO," shouted Fred, snatching the door open and forcefully dragging Harry out. They managed to close the door on the barking dog.

"Why the hell are they keeping a beast like that in Hogwarts?" ranted Fred. "Having an animal like that around us students can easily have disastrous implications."

"It's guarding something," said Harry. "It was standing on a trap door. It must be something very valuable to have something like that dog in Hogwarts."

"Valuable, eh," muttered Fred, a hungry gleam in his eyes. "Interested in doing some research, Harry?"

"I thought you couldn't read," smirked Harry. "I've never seen you with a book."

Fred laughed. "I need to read if I'm going to find out how to light a fire."

They managed to get back to the Common Room where they found a now released George from the Hospital Wing. They told him of the situation.

"That would be an interesting idea," said George. "But how the hell will we get past the dog?"

"Every animal has a weakness," smiled Harry. "Dogs are simple creatures. You either bring them some food or throw a stick."

"Splendid."

IlIlIlIlI

"Harry, can you help me?"

Harry looked over at Hermione. Both of them were in the library doing their homework.
They had built a solid friendship with each other ever since their argument. They often met up in the library to do their homework or to discuss magic in low voices. They both enjoyed intelligent conversation with the other.

"What's the problem?" he asked.

Without saying a word, Hermione turned over her homework for him to look at.

Explain the full details of Hyriads Law vs Ubewke's Theory on Magical Non-Properties in your own words.

"Now I'm lost," muttered Harry.

They managed to find the books on the subject in the library.

They both read the books carefully before putting it into words. They then scrambled them all so they could have a better understanding. It took them thirty minutes before they had an appropriate answer in each of their own words.

"That's an odd question to ask eleven year olds, isn't it?" asked Harry.

"Actually, I'm twelve Harry," smiled Hermione.

"Did I miss your birthday?" asked Harry in pretend shock. "I need to get you a present right now.".

Hermione chuckled quietly. "I'm September nineteenth. We weren't friends at that point."

"Of course."

They continued to work in silence.

"Hermione," he spoke lowly. "Are there any big trees on the Hogwarts Grounds? I really don't want to be going into the Forbidden Forest."

"There's the Whomping Willow," said Hermione without looking up from her book. "Why do you ask?"

"I like trees."

IlIlIlIlI

After a lot of effort and a near broken neck Harry, Fred and George cut down three incredibly large branches of the Whomping Willow. The tree was screaming long into the night. Luckily the nearest person was Hagrid who slept through the whole ordeal.

"Alright, now all we need to do is throw the stick," said Harry. "We'll do it tomorrow night."

The branches were now in an unused classroom near the Third Floor.

IlIlIlIlI

The next night at ten-thirty Albus Dumbledore was investigating the Whomping Willow. Hagrid had woken him up that morning telling him something was wrong with the poor tree. It had been screaming throughout the whole day. As he couldn't speak tree he had no idea what was wrong with it.

Just as he stepped back from the roots the tree went completely mental. It's remaining branches grabbed hold of the esteemed headmaster and held him upside down. It was at this moment Dumbledore finally noticed from his angle that three branches had been cut clean off.

The next moment he was flying to the ground at the base of the tree. He went straight into the secret passageway and landed rather painfully on his bottom.
Through his haze he wondered one thing. What had just happened to make the tree go mental.

IlIlIlIlI

At that same moment a massive three headed dog were each chewing on the three massive sticks thrown for them at the other end of the corridor. The three heads were too content to notice that the three humans had now vanished down an open trapdoor.

Harry and the twins landed on the Devil's Snare. The twins were absolutely helpless on how to handle it so Harry sent a mild fire hex to land near them. The snare opened and they fell through. Harry turned his wand towards his own entrapped snare and sent a mild Incendio. The flames lit up, opening the snare, promptly sending him careening towards the floor. He managed to land on his feet. And then he looked up.

Uh oh, he thought, as the flames from his spell had incinerated the whole snare and was now traveling towards the wall.

"Aguamenti Maxima," chorused the twins. At once the flames vanished as a torrent of water erupted from the twins' wands and snuffed out the flame.

"That was a close one," whistled Harry.

They walked down a stone passageway, which was the only way forward. All they could hear apart from their footsteps was the gentle drip of water trickling down the walls. The passageway sloped downward, and Harry was reminded of Gringotts.

"Can you hear something?" Fred whispered.

Harry listened. A soft rustling and clinking seemed to be coming from up ahead.

"Do you think it's a ghost?"

"I don't know… sounds like wings to me."

"There's light ahead — I can see something moving."

They reached the end of the passageway and saw before them a brilliantly lit chamber, its ceiling arching high above them. It was full of small, jewel-bright birds, fluttering and tumbling all around the room. On the opposite side of the chamber was a heavy wooden door.

The three of them took a chance and darted across the room to the door. Luckily the strangely coloured birds did not attack them; unluckily though, the door was locked.

"Now what do we do?" asked Fred gloomily.

"Look," said Harry, pointing up at the 'birds'. "They're keys with wings. One of them must open the door."

"It should be a silver key to match the handle," said George.

"C'mon Harry, hone your Quidditch instincts," said Fred eagerly. "You can spot things quicker than others."

Harry's eyes roamed around the room. After three seconds he spotted the silver key. One side had a busted wing, as if it had been caught repeatedly and stuffed roughly into a keyhole.

"That one," he pointed. "I'm going to get on this broom and I'm going to throw it to you. Let you hone your Quidditch instincts."

So Harry took off on the broom and chased after the key. After some dodgy manoeuvring he caught the key and threw it at the twins when they were close enough. Harry disembarked from the broom and they went into an unlit cavernous room.

The room lit up a few steps in. They were standing on the edge of a huge chessboard, behind the black chessmen, which were all taller than they were and carved from what looked like black stone. Facing them, way across the chamber, were the white pieces.

"Now what do we do?" Fred whispered.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" said George. "We've got to play our way across the room."

"We're not playing chess, boys," said Harry, who was digging into his backpack he always carried with him. He pulled out his torch and a filled beaker.

"What are you doing Harry?" asked George.

"This here boys," said Harry, holding up the beaker. "Is a compound called nitro-glycerine. It explodes stuff."

Harry had swiped it from Snape's supplies a month ago when he broke in and vandalised the room. Why the man had a muggle compound he couldn't understand why, he DID know that a man like Snape should not have access to such a dangerous item.

He poured a small amount into the torch after removing the bulb.

"That should be enough," said Harry. "Alright, lets get back on the other side of this door."

The three of them went back into the key room.

"Here Fred," said Harry handing him the now explosive torch. "Throw it in and shut the door. You two will love this."

Fred did as he was told and shut the door. Five seconds later a loud explosion practically shook the whole castle.

"What the bloody hell was that, Harry?" asked Fred.

"I think it's best neither of you know," smirked Harry.

When they went back in the room was practically in cinders. The chess pieces were blown to kingdom come, the board was shattered, and a massive hole was in the wall.

"Everyone would have heard that, Harry," said George. "We need to move."

Harry just smiled. "As it shook the whole castle, no one will know where the source came from. It is too big to determine its location."

However a few floors above there was a response.

"What in heavens name was that Quirinus?"

"I don't know master."

"Well, I have a fair idea where it came from. Go after the Stone right now."

"But mast –"

"NOW."

The three Gryffindors made their way into the next room, ignoring the remaining swearing chess pieces as they walked by them.

A familiar smell filled Harry's nostrils before they opened the door into the next room.

"Troll through here."

"We'll leave this to you, Harry," gulped the twins.

Harry smirked and opened the door. He trained his wand at the foul smelling creature that had yet to realise there was someone there.

"Wingardium Leviosa."

The troll watched confused as its club left its hand and rose above it. Then Harry swung his wand down. The club hit its owners head and the troll fell over unconscious.

"Come in boys," Harry called out.

"Bloody hell, Harry," said the twins in unison. "That wasn't even one minute."

Harry smirked at them and just pulled open the next door.

There was just a table with seven differently shaped bottles standing on it in a line.

"Snape's," said Harry.

"What do we have to do?"

They stepped over the threshold, and immediately a fire sprang up behind them in the doorway. It wasn't ordinary fire either; it was purple. At the same instant, black flames shot up in the doorway leading onward. They were trapped.

They checked the table and found a puzzle left by Snape.

Harry snorted after reading it.

"We don't need to drink this," he scoffed. "Fred, George. Interested in another explosion."

"Sure," they both said, feral grins on their faces.

"Bombarda Maxima," Harry cast at the table full of poisons.

The explosion that rocked Hogwarts would be remembered for generations to come and told over and over again throughout the years.

Harry and the twins ducked as the table completely exploded in the flames.

Also at that moment Quirinus Quirrell was on the chessboard right below the massive chandelier in the room. He lost his footing at the explosion and fell backwards from the force. The chandelier above him snapped from the strain of the explosion and came crashing down on him, killing him instantly. A wispy black vapour came from his body swearing up a storm before fleeing the castle back to Albania. He was the only injury from the explosion.

"You alright, my friends?" asked Harry, getting to his feet

Fred and George got to their feet, badly shaken and their hairs looking wild.

"You are absolutely bonkers, Harry," they said.

"Thank you."

The flames had been destroyed with the combination that was inside the bottles and was now passable.

They went into the next room and found what was once a mirror. The glass was smashed from the force of the explosion and there was a small flame in the room.

"Well, look at this," said Harry, recognising a familiar package inside the mirror.

"What is it?" asked Fred.

"I don't know," said Harry, now holding the thin package. "But Hagrid took it out of a high security goblin vault the day he took me to Diagon Alley. It clearly must be very valuable. Let's take it."

They knew better than to go back the way they came. They didn't notice the dead Quirrell as they went through the hole in the wall and found themselves just across the hall from the Fat Lady's portrait.

"Well, that's convenient."

They successfully managed to get in and into their beds. The night's events had them sleeping in no time.

IlIlIlIlI

Albus Dumbledore stared around the demolished chessboard.

What kind of magic can make an explosion like this? He wondered as he limped around the room. His leg was quite painful from landing inside the Whomping Willow.

He stared down at the corpse of his professor. The turban had come off him and there was an imprint of a face on the back of his head. Voldemort's face.

"What did you do Tom?" he whispered. Nicholas' stone was gone but he didn't think it was Voldemort that took it. He believed it to be destroyed in the explosion. The mirror was in shatters along with the whole room. The magic Tom had clearly used destroyed the whole seventh floor.

As the chandelier was on Quirinus he believed Tom hadn't obtained it and had cast the spell from here, unaware that the chandelier was above him, and it fell in the explosion.

He breathed a sigh of relief as Voldemort had thwarted himself again. Another spell that backfired on him.

His investigation concluded, he began to cover everything up. There was no need to involve Aurors. He would explain the explosion as Severus experimenting on a few potions and that Quirinus tried to steal one and accidentally blew up the seventh floor because of the potency and had vanished.

IlIlIlIlI

In potions the next day Harry was finding difficulty focusing in class.

Severus Snape was not faring well either. He had been up the whole night helping Dumbledore cover up the seventh floor and was extremely angry.

Seeing the son of James Potter not focusing on what he was saying gave him his incentive on how to deal with it.

"POTTER," he roared. "You're not listening. That'll be fifteen points from Gryffindor. Are you so pampered to believe you don't need my instructions?"

Harry groaned. "Leave me alone professor."

The class went silent. Everyone loved seeing the interactions between Harry Potter and Professor Snape.

"What did you say to me, Potter?" his silky voice said softly but dangerously.

"Leave me alone," said Harry. "Just because I defeated Voldemort as a baby doesn't give you the right to treat me as if I am a delusional celebrity."

"DO NOT SAY HIS NAME!" roared Snape dangerously.

"Why not?" countered Harry. "It's not like he's going to appear. Look: Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort."

"HOW DARE YOU?" screamed Snape. "I'm warning you Potter."

"Voldemort," smirked Harry.

Yipes, thought Harry as Snape cast a spell at his chair.

"I WILL KILL YOU POTTER," screamed Snape, spittle flying from his mouth.

Harry ran for the door and shut it on Snape. The man crashed into the door from chasing Harry. His head went through the wood and got stuck.

Harry walked over to Snape and got close enough to whisper one word.

"Voldemort."

Everyone in the castle heard Snape roaring in rage and screaming "POTTER."

It was enough to get the Headmaster's attention and Professor McGonagall.

Professor McGonagall was livid with Snape for trying to attack Harry and refused to help him get dislodged from the door.

Dumbledore made him stay there so he could hear what had happened to make him get stuck.

By the time Snape was finished ranting and raving about Harry most of the school had showed up and seen him stuck in the door. Dumbledore then cast a spell to make his hair even more greasy so he could pull it out.

Harry got away with provoking Snape as Dumbledore was proud of him for saying 'Voldemort'. And got his points back.

IlIlIlIlI

"Excellent work Mr. Potter," beamed McGonagall. She stared down at his accomplishment of transfiguring a rock into a miniature chessboard. Absolutely beaming with pride, she gave him twenty points and an exemption on his homework for the night.

Harry smiled in glee at his teacher. He honestly had come to love Professor McGonagall. Not only had she gifted him his broom, but she also treated him like everyone else instead of a celebrity.

After class ended he went up to his favourite teacher.

"Professor," said Harry. "Can I ask you something?"

Harry had found his first book on Animagi in the library and was dying to talk to McGonagall about it. It was a kind of magic he was deeply impressed by. He had formulated a plan on how to talk to her about it.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Potter?" she asked.

"Well, I – " Harry intentionally stammered. "I found out you are Minnie the cat. You're an Animagus."

"Took you a long time to figure that out," she smiled at him, nodding him on to continue.

"Well, I am very impressed with Animagi magic and was wondering if you teach it to us," pleaded Harry.

"I'm afraid I cannot teach you how to become an animal," she said, her lips now stern. "You are an excellent student Harry and I have no doubt you can accomplish it in the future. However the rest of your class tend to struggle with the art of Transfiguration. It is too early to teach them."

"Can you at least teach us some basic Animagi spells?" begged Harry. "We can practice on our animals."

"That is an idea I will agree with," she nodded. "First year is about to end though and I don't have time. I will teach you all a few basic spells when you return for second year."

The professor was unprepared when Harry suddenly wrapped his arms around her and said excitedly "thank you, thank you, thank you."

Pulling back from the professor, he decided to throw in a compliment to cheer her up and make her day. "You know, you are the greatest teacher I've ever had. I wish more people were like you."

And with that he left, leaving his favourite teacher with tears of joy.

IlIlIlIlI

Draco Malfoy sighed with relief as he packed his case. He was honestly delighted to get away from Hogwarts. For one reason.

Harry Potter.

The boy was everything he wished to be. Bold, fun, popular, and prankster extraordinaire.

He pissed off Harry Potter when they met, and over the year unfortunate events kept happening to him. And he knew it was all because of Potter.

The red hair, the nightmares of rampaging hippogriffs, his toilet constantly exploding on him when he was done, his wand going missing often, cauldron explosions in Snape's class, and his robes always falling off. He'd received sixteen howlers from his father over the year for constantly embarrassing the family name for those stunts in public.

"I'm gonna get you Potter," he snarled. "Just you wait."

As he stepped on the loose floorboard near his bed the switch activated. Above him slimy water filled balloons fell right on top of him, soaking him with what smelled like manure.

"I'm going to kill you, Potter."

IlIlIlIlI

Harry couldn't stop looking at the book Hagrid had gifted him. Inside the book were pictures of his parents and their friends.

Fred and George didn't speak as Harry sat there in the train compartment heading back to London.

An hour into the trip Harry put the book aside.

"Thanks for the silence."

Fred and George nodded solemnly.

"How about a prank before we get to London?" asked Harry.

When the train landed in London the Aurors stormed the train trying to catch everyone's lost pet. The cages somehow had all opened and the animals were crawling all over the train making a huge racket.

Hedwig herself had clawed and nipped Auror Dawlish who later was admitted to St Mungo's. The man went straight up to Harry and begged him to call off the rampaging owl.

"You'll come visit us this Summer, won't you Harry," said the twins. They both frogmarched forward with Harry between them into the Muggle world.

"Twin menaces reporting for duty, General Weasley," they saluted their mother, who scowled at them.

"Enough of that," she admonished. "Who's your friend here?"

"We introduce… Harry Potter," they said in unison.

"Well, lovely to meet you Harry," she said kindly, offering out a hand. Harry shook her hand without hesitation. The lady seemed very friendly and she had a nice welcoming smile. He liked her instantly.

"Are you ready?" came an angry voice. Harry turned to his unfriendly, sneering uncle. The man had put on even more weight since he last saw him.

"Woah," said Fred in wonder. "I've never seen a human of this size before. You must be the size of an elephant."

"FRED!"

Harry and George snickered into their mouths. Vernon stood there with a furious red colour plastered on his face.

"HOW DARE YOU? I AM NOT THAT FAT."

"I beg to differ," said a nearby Muggle security guard.

Furious and trying to calm down his raging temper, Vernon stomped off the platform.

"EARTHQUAKE," shouted George, causing Harry and Fred to burst into laughter.

Vernon fled the station.

"Grow up boys," said Mrs. Weasley. "Go after your uncle Harry. Apologise on my behalf."

Harry left the station and found Vernon sitting in his car. He put his luggage in the car and got in the back.

As the car sped towards the hell that is Privet Drive, Harry smiled.

He was going to have a lot of fun with Dudley this Summer.

AN: My apologies for how long this update took. I have not had an easy year and it's been hard keeping up with everything in my life. On top of that I had writer's block on how to finish Year 1. I know what I am doing from this point on with the story so stay tuned. I am going to change things around as I have been advised. You can probably guess one thing that's happening in the next chapter.