A/N: People who followed my tumblr and read/engage with me regarding my twins au would've been familiar with many a headcanons i had about Keiwa for the au. Well... prepare to see one of that hc be altered a bit in this piece 😃
Tho technically some of the hc had already been altered with the Onmyoji hc, but yea...
Kyuun sat down beside Neon as he made himself comfortable at her apartment.
"So... what's the situation right now?"
He picked up the cup of milk tea that Neon offered to him and started sipping on it. Neon shrugged at him before doing the same.
"Ziin was able to get Ace to remember his past life... and then there was another unexpected incident. I never thought that the whole story about how Ace kept retrieving his golden coin and his wish to remember his mother was really true. But it was!"
Neon sighed.
"Ace and Keiwa were still too young to join the DGP again right now—I wished that we wouldn't have to resort to doing this to them." She bit her lips. "It felt a bit selfish... on our part, to drag them into this matter once again."
Kyuun nodded. He figured that Neon would have that kind of opinion about involving the Inugami twins. That was why when he heard of Ziin's plan to see Ace he immediately informed Neon about it. He frowned as he recalled what Neon just said earlier.
"Wait, what did you mean that there's an unexpected incident?" Kyuun asked as Neon started telling him about what happened at the Inugami family home...
xxx
"—!"
Someone was taking him somewhere... he didn't know why and where, but it seemed urgent. The man who was leading him by his hand was unfamiliar but he could tell that the man was not a bad person. They had an odd attire too.
They were being chased—for some reason he was thinking that. The man was trying to take him somewhere safe, they were saying something before suddenly...!
.
Keiwa woke up suddenly with a start! His heart was still racing rapidly... before realising that he was back in his room. He was safe.
Someone suddenly ran a hand over his head as he turned to see his 'mother' patting his head. A sudden wave of guilt washed over his heart to see the woman looking at him with so much love and care.
Mitsume placed a hand over his forehead before proceeding to fuss over him all over.
"You're still feverish... do you feel pain anywhere else? Mum will go reheat the porridge so wait here for a bit—"
Keiwa could barely say anything before his mother ran out of the room to fetch something. Not long after... his mother returned with a bowl of porridge, a glass of water and some medicine... before he was ushered to eat and take his medicine...
.
Keiwa bit his lips as his mother placed the tray of empty plates, glass and cutlery aside on the nearby small table. For some reason now, being alone with his mother felt so strange. At the moment, the strongest memories he had now were of his current life and the one before... and he couldn't help feeling conflicted. He could remember the anger and hatred he used to feel about Mitsume... but he also loved his mother now. He also knew how much Mitsuko had loved and protected him as her son.
If he had to be honest with himself, even during his previous life he barely remembered anything about his Sakurai parents. He was still in elementary school when his parents died, but for some reason... he could only remember being showered with love by his sister Sara and not by either Sakurai Shigeru or Sakurai Yukino. He wondered if he had blocked such memories from his mind after they died, but that was one of the reasons he used to be so desperate to try to revive his parents. Since he missed being able to remember any of his happy memories from when his Sakurai family was 'complete'. He wanted to feel again the experience of having loving parents doting on him... which was an experience that had been forcibly taken away from him.
Yet on the other hand, in this other life, he had as Mitsuko's son and Eisuke's twin... there was no lacking in the love he received in this family. Even when their father had mysteriously disappeared when he and Eisuke were still five, he had never felt if there was anything missing in his life. He had a loving mother... and a super adorable twin brother, how could he ask for more than that?
Keiwa fidgeted with his hands.
A loving mother.
Inugami Mitsuko had always loved and treated both of her twin sons equally without preference for one over the other. Well, maybe just during a few special occasions. Like when Eisuke was acting a bit more childish or when either of them was ill. But sometimes Keiwa felt that his mother's concern for him was more than just a normal maternal love. Because his mother tends to be too overprotective of him, even more than his overly carefree and laidback younger twin. And after touching Ace's coin, he could recall how much he used to have ill feelings for Mitsume. As much as he was able to let go of the grudge and misunderstanding he used to have about Mitsume after Ace took him back from the management's control, he used to wonder if he could be forgiven for harbouring such feelings. And he unexpectedly got the chance to meet 'Mitsume' in this life.
Ever since he recovered his memories of his other lives, Keiwa couldn't stop wondering about this. For some reason, he couldn't help feeling that their mother had always been aware of everything. Back when he and Ace were younger, their mother used to get overly worried about him whenever he started getting nightmares about the Jyamato. She used to scold them too... when either he or Ace happened to draw pictures of Jyamato during their idle times, whisking the many drawings before throwing them away when they forgot about it. He noticed how his mother was often restless recently and was worried about something. And it coincided with the time when he started to get caught in the Jyama field so often...
And if their mother had always been aware of everything, then how could—!
"I'm sorry..."
The hands that had been tending to him to make his fever go away immediately stopped.
.
Keiwa glanced up towards his mother.
"Mother," he started to say, "you've known about everything from the very beginning, didn't you?"
His mother stiffened slightly before nodding her head. "Yes."
"Then why—?" he exclaimed as tears started to flow down Keiwa's cheeks. "I hated you so much before, and I blamed you for all of the suffering that the DGP caused. But all these times, you've never—!"
His mother smiled weakly before placing a hand on Keiwa's cheek.
"How could a mother ever hate her own child? And you're not entirely wrong either. The blame was on me... since I wasn't able to protect you and Ace—!"
xxx
Keiwa sighed. It was starting to feel really stuffy inside the bedroom so he decided to go out for some air. He settled on a spot facing the backyard...
Everything felt surreal now. And his sense of identity was starting to become blurred. He already felt too overwhelmed with all of the 'new' memories that seemed to reach infinity... and just trying to rummage into a small fragment of it caused his head to hurt as if it could burst.
"Stop! Don't force yourself to try to remember!"
Earlier he tried to ask his mother about the past... and what actually happened back then before Suel had taken her and turned her into a Goddess statue. What happened to make her leave Ace behind... and why weren't there any records of him in the DGP archives? Since the records in the DGP archives even detailed the circumstances of how his mother was able to create a miracle and awaken her mysterious powers, it wouldn't make any sense if the records didn't have anything about him (or the fact that his mother had twins instead of a single child). Unless... what was kept in the records was not the complete truth, or it had been altered. His mother should know something...
...because he had a dream earlier. And it felt as if it was from a very, very old memory.
He was running away... they were running away from something. Someone... was taking him away to safety—and then something happened to them. He had tried to recall the memory—or just the memory of the dream—but it just made his head hurt so much! But he wanted to remember... because that person—as much as he couldn't recognise the person—he thought that the person might be someone important.
He wondered if it was this hard for Ace all these times... having to continuously live and die and live again... and retain all of the memories of each life lived. Ace last time told Ziin about it as if it was a passing grievance, but he saw Ace's eyes back then—those eyes hid some unspeakable pain. He thought he could try to empathize with that pain... but he couldn't have imagined—!
What was the truth behind the events that happened two thousand years ago, or maybe it was more than that now?
Before... Win had tried to tell them about what happened to Mitsume that led to the DGP becoming what it was. But then he refused to accept it and held a deep grudge against Mitsume. And because of that, he ended up committing grave sins himself and caused so many casualties. Ace made him realize his own folly... but that doesn't mean the past was suddenly erased.
He used to hate Mitsume so much and blamed her for every bad thing that happened due to the DGP. Rather than resent him for hating her, Mitsume—his mother—took in all of the blame into herself... and still cherished him! How could she forgive him... when he used to hate her so much?
What could he do to make things right again? Can he even protect what was precious?
Such a big responsibility for just one man to have to carry... how did Ace manage to do this by themselves all these times?
"What're you doing... Keiwa?"
Keiwa let out a gasp as he turned around to see Ace...
xxx
He smiled weakly.
It felt as if it's been ages since he was able to laugh without care. And to be able to just spend fond times with Ace, talking about things... he wouldn't trade that with anything else in this world. Being with Ace just filled him with so much happiness.
To think that there was a far deeper reason as to why he always felt drawn towards Ace...
.
Keiwa placed a hand over his neck.
When he first touched Ace's old coin, the very first memory that he recovered was of his last moment as Sakurai Keiwa. That moment when Suel's rider gauntlet had a vice grip on his neck... was still so vivid in his mind as if it happened just the other day. And he was also reminded of another memory of that fateful day...
"To all of the participants of our conclusive DGP, Kamen Rider Geats—as in Ukiyo Ace—has fallen in battle."
Keiwa winced slightly as he recalled hearing the announcement by the other Tsumuri. He couldn't forget how he felt back then when he heard that Ace was killed. The outcome felt almost impossible to imagine... and for a brief moment, he thought he saw the image of Ace lying lifeless on a wet ground in his mind. His heart felt as if someone had ripped it out of his chest.
Somehow, finding out that Ace was killed scared him more than the thought that his life could end at any moment by Suel. The last thing he remembered thinking before Suel killed him was that there were still a lot of things that he hadn't done yet. After all... he made a promise to Ace. And there was another wish that he thought of before the darkness took him in...
.
He wanted to see Ace again...
xxx
Keiwa glanced back towards Ace. Ace had convinced him to return to the bedroom since it was already late. Though he wasn't feeling particularly sleepy after everything that transpired today.
"Ace... can I ask you what happened back then?" He bit his lips. "Back then you said that you were going to confront Suel with Girori's help. That while me and the others try to prevent even more innocent Blank Riders from being killed and keeping the other Game Masters in check, you'd go after Suel. Since you said that you've fought Jitt who used a similar form before, you told me that I shouldn't worry... and that I should be with the others as their support. But then you—!"
Ace placed a hand over his and held it gently. "I guess I underestimated Suel's powers. Even though he was using the same driver—it was as if the Regad I fought before was just a fraction of Regad Omega's full power. Just like how Jitt was only a small piece of what Suel was."
"What happened to you before you died last time?" Keiwa asked again.
"He was too strong. You should know that too... since you and the others fought Suel as well."
"That person... was able to take away your rider powers without much effort—"
Keiwa gritted his teeth. Yes, he was aware that Suel could do that—that was how Suel was able to defeat them. The three of them were thrown aback after Regad Omega's attack... and then Suel picked him up from the ground by his neck. But then—!
Despite what transpired between them, he'd like to believe that he knew Ace very well. Like him, Ace could be quite stubborn as well and wouldn't take his loss so easily and give up. Even if Ace was aware of the odds being against them, they would always have some backup planned to overcome the situation. Just like back then when Girori managed to forcibly retire them from the Musical Chair game.
Ace wasn't the kind of person to give up so easily and let himself be defeated. So when the announcement came that Ace was actually defeated, he couldn't let himself accept that result!
"Even if Suel was indeed too powerful, I believed that you wouldn't let yourself be defeated so easily. Unless..."
The answer appeared in his mind as soon as the words left his mouth. He gasped.
"Ace... did you let Suel kill you... without any fight?" exclaimed Keiwa in disbelief. He couldn't believe it... but it was something that Ace could have done. After all, it was barely a few days since Ace was able to free themselves from the Room of Creation and become mortal again...
He raised his eyes towards Ace as Ace averted their eyes from him.
"It was a risk that I'm willing to take," Ace started to say. "If it was possible for me to become a proper deity—not like what they've made mum into, not like what they tried to turn Tsumuri and me into—if there's a way for me to ascend into a higher form and not be bound by those people... I'd be willing to risk my life to make it happen."
"I've made my resolve and prepared myself for it, ever since Mum's statue broke down completely and her soul turned into nothing."
Keiwa grabbed Ace by the shoulders and growled deeply, but not loud enough to attract their mother's attention. He could feel tears starting to well in his eyes again as he held Ace's shoulders in a vice-like grip.
"I thought you said that we should protect this world together? Yet you end up dying alone..."
He thought back to the time when both of them were inside the Room of Creation. He thought about the time Ace made him promise to achieve their dreams and protect the world together to make sure everyone would be able to achieve true happiness. When he agreed to make their wishes come true together, he expected that it meant he and Ace would never stray apart anymore.
But who could've imagined—!
"You're so selfish... Ace! How could you think of sacrificing yourself, just to make sure that everyone else gets their own happiness?"
He's not sure when did he start to cry again. All he knew was that he was already burying his face onto Ace's chest, releasing all of the pent-up emotions he felt when he first heard about Ace's death.
While he was used to being lied to and tricked by Ace so many times, he couldn't believe that Ace could do something as terrible as this to him!
"How could I be fine with getting my happiness, if it was at the cost of sacrificing your own?"
How could Ace think that he could ever be happy if Ace sacrificed himself for everyone's future? How could Ace think that becoming a deity and watching over everyone else while being forgotten and remaining stagnant as everyone else moved forward to achieve a better future was the best outcome for everyone? If that was what Ace thought was the best decision, he rather not have his wish granted if it meant that Ace could still be with him. He'd rather die than let Ace sacrifice himself, he'd rather leave the DGP alone than lose Ace...
.
Ace placed a soft kiss on Keiwa's lips before lowering his twin down to lay on the bed properly. Keiwa had cried so much that they ended up falling asleep in his arms. It's been a very long time since he saw Keiwa like this that Ace felt his heart breaking to pieces. Back then he used to think that the decision he thought up was the best choice for him to make, and Keiwa's falling into the darkness strengthened his reasoning to continue with that choice. He believed that it was the best way for him to protect everyone... but he never imagined how much Keiwa would be hurt by this.
All he ever wanted... was to make Keiwa happy. But all he did was make Keiwa miserable.
xxx
The lights in the boys' room have finally turned off. It must mean that both of her sons were finally asleep.
Mitsuko sighed as she sat down on the couch in the living room. She stared at the small box that was left behind by her successor. When Keisuke had fainted again, Tsumuri and the others agreed that they'd overstayed their welcome. They've decided to resume their discussion to another day but it did look as if they've finally given up in trying to convince Eisuke to join the DGP. Ultimately, it would still be up to her sons to decide what to do but it won't be because some other people were pushing them to make a decision.
.
Tsumuri left the box behind... in case she changed her mind about letting one of her sons join the Desire Grand Prix, though she didn't see the point. Tsumuri should've noticed it too as she had.
Mitsuko placed the small box on her lap before opening the cover slowly. Earlier during Keisuke's outburst, she noticed a faint light erupted from inside of the box... so she wanted to take a look. Inside the box, the content had remained unchanged. There was still a single Desire Driver and a core ID inside the box.
The only difference was that the core ID was now completely blank without any kind of insignia.
She's not sure what to think about this.