A/N: I've been wanting to write this for a while... but as usual, my train of thought tends to derail all over.
So I had a thought about what if one of Ace's past incarnations had been Abe no Seimei and one of Keiwa's past incarnations had been Minamoto no Hiromasa. Perhaps some of the latter choices that one made could be better understood.
Ace sighed as he turned to look towards Keiwa, who was still sitting by himself... staring out to the night sky from the backyard.
Keiwa seemed fine now... unlike earlier. A part of him had worried about Keiwa and another part was strangely... relieved.
Hours had passed since their mother revealed a secret long hidden from the two of them, and he still couldn't quite believe it. For his bond with Keiwa to be revealed to extend as far as his own true beginning, to have been told that his meeting with Keiwa was never a coincidence... he could never have imagined it...
Aside from his connection with his mother, he never expected that he could ever have any other bond that he could have cherished as much as he cherished the bond he had with his mother. But lo... it turned out that there WAS another precious bond he never knew had always existed by his side (and supporting him loyally). And now he wondered, in all those other lifetimes that he used to endure by hook or by crook... if any of those other bonds ended up revealed to be tied to his bond with Keiwa without him knowing it, how miraculous could those connections be?
Because now he realized something; if his and Keiwa's lives had always been tied to each other and undergoing the same cycle of life and death due to his wish of wanting to be reunited with their mother, could he have met Keiwa in his other lives besides this current one and the one before—? Since there were some bonds he had in the past that reminded him so much of the bonds he had with Keiwa so far...
And now he wondered if those other bonds that had been as dear to him as his bond with Keiwa had always been Keiwa all along...
.
"What're you doing... Keiwa?"
Keiwa turned to look at him in surprise before shrugging. "Nothing much. I'm just... thinking."
Ace smiled as he sat down beside his twin and took the opportunity to cuddle with Keiwa lovingly, causing the other to laugh out loud. Keiwa let out a long sigh as Ace glanced up at him curiously.
"It just crossed my mind that I've started to understand you even more now."
He frowned. "What did you mean?" Ace asked as Keiwa gave him a look of genuine concern.
"It must've been hard for you all these times, isn't it? Back then I thought I was able to understand it... but I was wrong. I told you that you'll always be you no matter what kind of life you've gone through before you met me, yet I never thought of how those words could've bound you and your fate to me." Keiwa shook his head before sighing. "And when our relationship with each other turned sour and I started to hate you and Mother, it must've hurt you so much. I should've let you clear out all of the misunderstandings, and I shouldn't have put all of the blame on you or our mother."
Keiwa shrugged.
"Wasn't it hard to have to bear the burden alone while also having to remember everything from the start? It must've been... daunting."
Right away Ace recalled how Keiwa had reacted when his twin had touched his Caesar coin and unlocked their past memories. He tightened his hold on Keiwa as he asked him worriedly.
"Kei-chan? Are you sure that you're fine now—" he asked as Keiwa just smiled at him weakly.
"I should be fine... for now, as long as I don't try to think too hard about it to try to process everything. It's still... overwhelming. And confusing. All those... 'other' memories."
It was scary as well...
Ace nodded his head. "Yeah... I get that. Not to mention that you should be receiving the bulk of it all at once... from the very beginning till now when all of these times you never had to remember it all." He sighed again. "As for me, I've already gotten used to it after a while."
Keiwa still hasn't pointed it out yet, but it must've scared them as well. But knowing Keiwa, his brother would've started worrying about him again and neglecting their wellbeing. He didn't want that so he said that he was mostly numbed by it.
Not like it wasn't partially the truth anyway...
"I see," Keiwa sighed.
"—I could finally understand why 'someone' would've called this a 'curse'. A curse called connection... or a relationship with someone."
xxx
Yeah, he would've called this a curse if he was in the same shoes... and given the burden of having to always HAD to remember. Because the more he looked at it, it could be nothing BUT a curse. If he had never met Ace and gotten himself enamoured by the way Ace had fought and saved the 'world' that one time, he would've never had to ever find out about the existence of the 'Desire Grand Prix' and everything else that came with it.
If he had never gotten caught inside that final round stage... he probably would have never caught the attention of someone like Kekera. He would've never had to find out about how his 'parents' actually died (and how that fate might have been tied to his connection to Mitsume and 'cursed' them to have died a violent death)... and how that would've spurred his motivation to want to risk his life to protect his precious people (and other innocent lives) and led to someone desiring to turn him into their ideal image of what a selfless 'hero' should be. If his sister had not been tied to him by a 'curse' called a familial relationship... Sara wouldn't have to have her life be trapped in constant danger all the time, just to provide him 'motivation' to become stronger and pursue greater 'powers'.
Yes, he would've viewed this as a curse. Because he was a cursed child... anyone who ever had the misfortune to come into contact with him would've also been dragged into a life filled with danger and suffering.
What that 'fox-child' said all those times back then was true...
.
No! You're not cursed!
If Keiwa had heard him let out a startled squeak earlier, his twin must've been quite an actor to remain unaffected by his reaction. But no... it didn't seem like Keiwa had noticed it. Because then Keiwa would've noticed how much distress he felt to hear such words being said aloud by someone he considered to be very important. Realising how a conversation in the past shared between them had caused someone beloved to be hurt by it.
Making them think that they were indeed... cursed. As he used to think when Keiwa had believed that all of this tragedy had begun with him being born. Since he was born into this world due to his mother's wish...
Yes, he used to have viewed it as a curse. If he (the two of them) had not miraculously been born into this world... his (their) mother would've never found out that she had been 'blessed' with the powers of Creation. Suel wouldn't have turned her into the 'Goddess of Creation' and the Desire Grand Prix that preyed on people's desires and wishes for happiness would've never existed. Neither he nor Keiwa would've had to endure so much pain and suffering... and be filled with so much sorrow. So many things would have never had to have to happen... if neither of them had existed.
But...
If he had never met Keiwa—if 'Abe no Seimei' had never met 'Minamoto no Hiromasa'—he would've never felt the comfort of having someone with him to have healed the 'injury' inside him called the pain of loneliness. If the two of them had never met nor existed, he wouldn't have been able to savour the joy of being able to spend fond times and laughter with each other. If he had never met Keiwa, he would've never recovered the heart of kindness that he almost lost the more he continued to play in the Desire Grand Prix. He would have never be able to cut himself out from the life of always chasing his mother within the game, forever becoming a pawn inside the Desire Grand Prix... unable to see the mother he had always longed for until the moment her life force would expire.
Yes, he used to find it bothersome. If he didn't have to constantly care about some passing faces that he would never meet again afterwards, he wouldn't have to suffer heartache whenever he had to see them die in front of his eyes. He wouldn't have to worry about making sure that he could help the other players escape the game without dying, and he could've just focused on finding his mother without being sidetracked. If 'Seimei' had never gotten involved with 'Hiromasa', he wouldn't have had to get entangled in troublesome incidents whenever some members of the court or whatever ended up needing his 'assistance' to deal with some problematic demon or spirits that had strayed into their paths. He would've been fine living by himself with just his two shikigami by his side...
The 'curse' called a connection between people... could have been the most deadly 'curse' that could've existed...
xxx
"It's not really so bad... actually. Because I was able to meet and get to know some precious people. Like you... Kei-chan. It actually made things a bit bearable at times."
So no, Keiwa. You're not a cursed child... no more than I was (supposed) to be a cursed existence!
That made Keiwa chuckle.
"You even continued to call me by my given name now... when all you've ever referred to me before was by calling me 'Tycoon'. You've even tried to comfort me. So very unlike the 'fox' who always played pranks on me..."
"Aren't you the one who used to think that relationships between people must have been a curse?" asked Keiwa again, giving Ace a meaningful look.
Ace averted his gaze from Keiwa. Well, that was... complicated. Since in all his many lives, the ability to retain the memories of your previous lives was more a bad thing rather than good. Because sometimes getting yourself too close to someone else would hurt so much when you end up parting ways with them too suddenly. And sometimes you'd ended up being lied to and betrayed and that would hurt so much as well. And he had his reasons as well, not to mention that he had a new resolve to accomplish something that he had promised. And he didn't want to end up hurting someone just because he got a bit too 'attached' to that someone.
Besides, none of those old concerns mattered now.
"Names are important. Someone used to tell me that—" Keiwa spoke again.
"There was even a time when just knowing one's name could allow someone to use it to harm another person. It must've just been easier to keep referring to the designated titles instead of someone's actual name." You wouldn't have grown attachment towards any given person, and those attachments wouldn't inevitably lead to becoming part of your weakness...
Ace gave Keiwa a peculiar look. Was Keiwa trying to test him or something?
"So who was the one who could've told you that?" asked Ace again, feigning knowledge as Keiwa smiled. Right away Ace could see Keiwa's eyes started to soften as if he was trying to recall a fond memory.
"Just a sweet... fox-child." Keiwa turned to look at him innocently. "Have you ever been known as a fox-child before, Ace?"
Ace just shrugged nonchalantly, avoiding giving a straight answer. As if he'd openly admit that he was aware that Keiwa had been quoting his own words to them. When he used to be known as Abe no Seimei.
Does that mean... that Keiwa was trying to imply that they were Hiromasa in the past? Because the only one who could've known about that conversation would only be Hiromasa and no one else!
"I wonder... have you always been a mischievous tanuki in the past, Kei-chan?" Ace asked instead, trying to change the topic.
"Cheeky..."
.
"Perhaps I shouldn't have called out to you when we first met."
"Abe no Seimei... wasn't actually my real name..."
He heard another sigh again coming from Keiwa. How many times would his older twin keep sighing out loud tonight?
"Now that I thought about it, I never ended up learning about that fox-child's true name—" Keiwa turned his face towards him. "That guy was even worse than YOU at trying to call people by their given names—"
"As if I could ever put a curse using their real name or do something that could really harm them badly..." Keiwa added as he started to pout.
Ace chuckled loudly as their topic of conversation grew less serious and became even more childish the more they kept talking. He shrugged.
"I don't know... perhaps their true name turned out to be too common or unimpressive. Like Eisuke or Momosuke... so that could be why they never told you."
That made Keiwa snicker a bit and loosen the pout that continued to adorn the other's face.
"What's so bad about being called Eisuke? Though yeah... Momosuke wouldn't have fitted well with that guy's image—"
Ace smiled. "Well, it seemed that you kept talking about a certain person tonight. That person must've occupied your mind a lot."
By this point, he was quite sure that Keiwa was indeed Hiromasa in the past. Yet Keiwa still didn't want to say it aloud to him, yet expecting him to admit to being Abe no Seimei first. Is Keiwa trying to challenge him in a battle of wits to see who's the first to confess about their past identities?
Ace grinned. Keiwa must be all over their head to think that he'd cave in first.
"Enough talking about that guy... what about you? What kind of person you used to be, Kei-chan... in some other of your past incarnations? Compared to 'Momosuke'-kun, yours should be a bit cooler—"
Keiwa had blushed slightly at the compliment before shaking their head rapidly.
"I'm not cool." Not now... or even far back then, "If anything, the me back then was just an average guy who happened to be someone's average eldest grandson. I'm not as cool as you'd imagined..."
As if! Ace would've begged to differ. As a grandson of the former Emperor Daigo, Minamoto Hiromasa was by no means someone you could ever call 'average'. But trust Keiwa to not see himself as anyone special... not now, or even back then.
Ace suddenly wrapped his arms around Keiwa before giving them a fond peck on the cheek. Suddenly, 'winning' this battle of wits didn't matter anymore...
"Whatever. I still think of you as 'special'. Keiwa... is still Keiwa. Nii-chan... is still Nii-chan!"
"Ace! Don't you be stealing my usual phrases now!"
.
Also... he no longer thinks that what they had now should ever be called a 'curse'. If anything, it should be called a miracle. Because there was no way that either of their existence had been a bad thing. It gave their mother a bit of happiness after all.
Just like the moment when Mitsume met her beloved for the first time... and later bestowed a pair of twins that signified the token of their love...