Monday, September 4th, 2017
The gruff vocals of the late Kurt Cobain pierced the early morning, a pale hand lazily waving around trying to shut off the alarm before slamming down on the wooden bed frame in an irritant fit.
"OW!"
Angel Bellamy sat up immediately, clutching her wrist in pain.
"Fucking damn it!"
Her usual taste in music now replaced as utter noise, the moody girl clenched her teeth as she held her throbbing wrist before finally peeling off the blankets with extreme reluctance.
"Where's that... damn..."
Still cursing under her breath, she clumsily stepped off the bunk ladder and stopped the music, exhaling in relief as the room was finally silent.
'Christ, did Dad turn on the AC again?'
Even with bare feet touching the hardwood floor, Angel noticed how unusually chilly it was in the house. Hugging her body for warmth, the shivering girl trudged toward the hallway bathroom and kept her eyes shut from the incoming brightness.
Upon opening them, she squinted in the mirror to see-
"What?!"
Her shoulder length wavy hair now nothing more than a tangled rats' nest, dark circles around jaded eyes, and obvious zits scattered on her chin, nose, and forehead.
And of course, the deep scars marred all over her face.
Angel groaned and placed her face in her hands.
'God... why do you hate me?'
Still grumbling, she began her usual morning routine more glumly than before. Another yawn revealed an unusual gleam in Angel's mouth as she took out her retainer, the result of a complicated dental procedure after a serious accident ousted four of her teeth and earning a lovely, jagged scar across her chin and mouth.
'Totally worth it though.'
Shrugging off her accident-prone memories, Angel finished curling her silver highlighted hair and applied the final touches of her makeup and was pleased to see a now flawless face before her.
Concealer really is a girl's best friend.
Despite the blemishes, Angel knew she was a pretty girl and her oft-told charming smile left more than a few broken hearts back home.
Scars tell the best stories after all.
Setting down her curler, she exhaled slowly at seeing her still exhausted self in the mirror. Apart from her brilliant green eyes, Angel was more aligned with her father in both height and humor.
Speaking of...
"Dad?"
Angel wore a face of increasing confusion as her father was always up at the crack at dawn with a chirpy smile on his rugged face for reasons still unknown to the teenager. Roaming in the kitchen, she saw a sticky note on the wall and pulled it off.
Ali-bear,
Had to go work early today.
Make sure to eat a good breakfast and get to school on time!
Love you!
P.S.: Try not to get in trouble on the first day. Again.
Angel sighed upon reading the last part of the note and closed her eyes in anguish, all her regrets shoving to the top and tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. Her fists clenched and unclenched as she was taking shaky gasps before finally exhaling a steady breath and opening her eyes with a renewed determination.
'I don't find trouble, Dad. Trouble finds me.'
With another sigh, Angel turned toward the kitchen and squinted at the oven clock before widening her eyes.
"Oh SHIT! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"
She rushed back to her room and rapidly pulled up dark blue jeans she wore the night before and clumsily pulled an obnoxiously pink V-neck shirt over her body before grabbing her flannel lined demin jacket and making a beeline for the front door.
'Wait a minute... Shoes! Fuck, I forgot my shoes!'
With another exasperated groan, Angel bolted back to her room and slid on high top maroon converses not giving a damn that they were unlaced and snagged her favorite purple beanie before rushing out of the house again. She strapped on her scratched up helmet and linked up her wireless speaker to the latest grunge hits before stepping on her board and making the descent down the suburban hill.
As she rolled through the sleepy town of Cedar Cove, the girl cockily performed some kickflips, ollies, and a few grinds, beaming with pride that she still retained her edge.
"BANZAI!"
Angel whooped in exhilaration after executing another 360 flip with ease. It was times like these where she felt the most free, where the rules of gravity and physics didn't exist.
The rules were meant to be broken after all.
Seeing the sun rise over the mountains bestowed a sense of nostalgia Angel never felt before. It was almost as if she belonged here, and all the memories in her past were simply another lifetime ago.
All except one.
'Wish you were here with me, Austin. I miss you every day.'
Oliver M. Berry High School
Come to the Dance!
Support Your School!
Drive Safely!
'Ah, the basic indoctrination of high school. I already feel right at home.'
Rolling her eyes at the monotonous theme, Angel grabbed her board and made her way to the school. There were a few apparent seniors nearby who were chatting amicably among themselves. A towering Hispanic boy in a gray fleece pullover was whooping and hollering with his impassioned gestures.
"I can't believe we're finally in our senior year! I'm so ready for football season! It's gonna be lit as hell!"
Another darker-skinned guy around the same height with muscles hidden beneath a green plaid flannel was showing his enthusiasm in a different manner, "Indeed, Julian! AP Calculus is going to be epic! I'm already prepped for the SATs!"
Two of the girls beside them were laughing at the boys' fervor.
"And homecoming's just around the corner, Nishan!" the African American girl donning a pretty smile and a gorgeous sparkly purple halter top, voiced in mirth before taking on an almost panicked tone, "Speaking of which, I'd better find a date!"
The other girl, a buff blonde wearing a deep red top and sparkly headband, shook her head in amusement.
"Yeah... I'm not buying it, Payton. Knowing you, you've got a list of guys all ready to go."
Payton shot her a wink, "Now, Mia, you know a lady never tells..."
Angel felt a pang of jealously at how everyone was already cemented in their own little cliques.
'What does it fucking matter anyway? I'm not here to make friends.'
As she made her way to the entrance, the girl never seemed to notice the group staring at her.
Upon entering the double doors, Angel closed her eyes for a moment to inhale at the realization of a fresh start since leaving-
"New student?"
She abruptly opened her eyes to see a stern looking woman towering over her with crossed arms and an impatiently tapping heel.
'Oh joy. Another one...'
Angel despised authority figures to begin with, as they always enjoyed abusing their powers on others and turning a blind eye to the ones who truly needed their help.
"Yeah, uh-huh..."
The woman was having none of it.
"I'm sorry, what was that?"
As much as she wanted to make a snide retort, something in Angel's mind had made it clear that this apparent administrator was not meant to be crossed.
"I meant, yes ma'am..." she uttered with only slight sarcasm that she couldn't help creep in.
The woman narrowed her eyes at the brazen disrespect but nevertheless let it slide.
"Better. Now follow me. And take off that beanie!"
Angel scowled and took it off with extreme reluctance before trudging toward the back of a dreary office and plopping down in a squeaky chair. The woman slammed the door nearly startling Angel out of her seat before affixing a steely gaze at the teenage hellion.
"Did I tell you to sit down?"
"Nope," Angel replied all too casually. She barely managed to hide a grin as the woman looked like she was about to have steam come out of ears.
Pissing off authority figures was one of the many pleasures in life that the teenager took great relish in.
"Well? Are you going to say something?" the administrator articulated her words with immense rigidity.
Angel appeared thoughtful for a moment.
"Yeah actually, where can I get a copy of my schedule? I'm all about learning and retaining knowledge..." the silver-haired girl was now really struggling not to smirk upon noticing the woman's face turning purple with fury.
"...so that I can be a productive member of society?" Angel finished innocently with a smile that said anything but.
The administrator sharply inhaled for what seemed like the umpteenth time, "I am not amused, young lady."
Angel feigned confusion, "No one's laughing, ma'am."
If it wasn't for these anti-corporal punishment laws enacted from the federal government, the woman would have simply backhanded the teenager's smirk off that pretty little face of hers at least twice over.
Still, giving troublemakers severe consequences did more than enough to quell her daily aggravation with these damn hooligans she was forced to deal with.
"You're going to be that insolent, huh? We'll see how far that attitude takes you here."
Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Angel maintained a nonchalant front in the hopes of keeping this woman off her back as she pulled a rather huge file off the mahogany desk before slipping on thin frames.
"So... so."
Angel would have dearly loved to say, "So what?" but held her tongue as she was already pushing her luck with the woman who clearly needed that stick pulled out of her ass.
"Angel Nirvana Bellamy."
She scowled at the mention of her full name.
"Your record here indicates that you were expelled from Dundalk High School back in Baltimore this past May for instigating chaos and disorder."
Angel sighed, "Ya know, they never actually proved-"
"Silence!" the woman hissed causing Angel to slump back in her seat with a mighty sulk.
The administrator continued skimming through the teen's extensive file before raising a judgmental eyebrow.
"You then spent the entire summer at J. DeWeese Carter Youth Facility on grounds for a... sexual misconduct charge..." Angel shifted uncomfortably in her seat and shamefully looked away while the woman glowered at her, "...that was later dropped."
She then found a particular piece of information that piqued her interest enough that she snapped the file with a sharp clutch, bringing Angel's attention back to her.
She was already formulating a plan on how to bring this troublemaker back in line.
"Now... isn't thatinteresting on how that charge just mysteriously vanished off the face of the earth."
"Because it wasn't even true to begin with!" Angel snarled, already pissed off at having her checkered past prodded so early in the morning and it was still the first day of school.
And now this uppity woman dared to pass judgement on something she knew absolutely nothing about?
Complete utter bullshit.
The administrator expertly concealed her smugness as the ball was now in her court.
"That is irrelevant."
The woman now leaned dangerously close to Angel, making her feel incredibly uncomfortable as she tried to recline further back into the seat.
"Because I know exactly what kind of punk you are... Alexis Grey."
Jackpot.
Angel's face immediately snapped up in complete shock and felt her stomach drop sharply with dread.
'WHAT?! HOW?! How the fuck does she know about-'
Angel couldn't even finish her train of thought as massive panic began to swiftly rise in her. She forced herself to take a deep breath.
"That is not my-"
It was pointless.
The woman now knew her dirty little secret.
"Altering your legal name does not change anything about you or what happened. So, whether you're Alexis Grey or Angel Bellamy, you're still the same delinquent that I'll be keeping a close eye on. A very close eye on."
Angel realized too late that she'd been played for a fool.
'Fuck! Fuck, fuck... FUCK!'
Despite the sheer dismay of this woman knowing who she was exactly, Angel refused to give that hag the satisfaction of seeing such fear and shame on her face.
"Whatever."
The administrator knew that the delinquent was only acting aloof because she knew that she finally had her under her skin. Pleased with seeing the utterly fearful look on the girl's face, the woman now sat back in her seat and interlocked her fingers together, figuring out how best to manipulate this punk into behaving like a good little lapdog.
"Now tell me, why should we give you a chance here?"
Angel was still caught up with the revelation and was beyond angry and frightened that she was now more or less in this woman's vice grip.
And there really wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.
"I don't know!" Angel embitteredly replied, her slumped posture and folded arms clearly marking her resentful compliance.
The woman made a tsking noise, clearly not satisfied enough with the girl's answer. Fortunately, she had yet another trick up her sleeve.
"Perhaps you should think of this school as your last chance before your inevitable journey to prison."
Angel glared at her; a permanent scowl etched on her face.
'Yeah. That's the same lame ass spiel I got at the last school... and the one before.'
The woman reopened Angel's extensive file again and was the least bit surprised by how much of a troublemaker the silver-haired girl really was. Excuses like trauma or grief meant absolutely nothing to the woman.
What mattered was correction.
"Now let's see here... looks like you've always been a delinquent since you were twelve years old. All these numerous detentions, suspensions, and expulsions from four different schools for violence, possession of alcohol, bad conduct, vandalism, theft, possession of a weapon... you really are a nasty little thug aren't you?"
That finally hit a nerve.
"Oh for fucks sake, give me a goddamn break!" Angel snapped without thinking, her shame and fear shifting into fury as the relentless interrogation went on with no end in sight.
The administrator snapped the file shut and stood up, towering over Angel who remained in her seat.
"Well, you best pay attention to what I'm about to say: This is the last "break" you will ever get. You ever pull that stunt like you did back at Maryland, and you'll be sent off to juvenile detention so fast it'll make your head spin."
Angel simply had enough of this woman's ultimatums and was this close to laying her out on the floor. She barely managed to keep her hands in check, but she wasn't going to let this administrator force her to comply.
Angel began to speak, the words narrowly escaping her mouth as her teeth were grinding hard enough to turn to powder, "For the last time, I was-"
"You break a single rule here, Angel Bellamy, and I'll see to it that you'll never step foot in a public school setting again!"
There were no more thinly veiled threats now as the woman clearly ascertained that the teenager knew who she was dealing with and the unequivocal consequences of what would happen if this girl did not follow the school rules exactly to the letter.
And Angel legitimately knew a threat when she heard one.
"So... are we clear?"
With as much courage as she could muster, Angel stood up to glower right at the woman's eye level to show her that she wasn't afraid of her.
"Crystal," she uttered in a barely concealed growl.
The woman seemed content at finally having the delinquent muzzled before she pointed at the door, "Good. Now get out."
Angel held her gaze and refused to let her have the last word.
"Gladly!" she barked out as she put her beanie back on as a bold act of defiance, ensuring that the woman saw that she did just in fact break a single rule. Still, she was relieved to finally leave the office from hell because she only had 15 minutes before the first bell rang.
'You're officially on my shit list, old hag. You better fucking watch out-'
"Miss Bellamy?"
Angel's murderous train of thought halted as she turned to see a tall thin woman beckon her over. She looked like she got lost in the sixties and pretty much stayed there with her wavy blonde hair sporting touches of grey cascading down past her back, thick circular frames donning a wrinkled yet warm face, and her kooky flamboyant attire that Stevie Nicks proudly would have worn at Woodstock.
"Uh, yeah?"
The woman shook hands with Angel, the faint scent of jasmine incense wafting from her. Angel could already feel herself relaxing but didn't let her guard down yet.
"I'm Ms. Nelson, your new guidance counselor. Please follow me."
Angel entered her office and found it oddly charming: a purple tie-dye tapestry covering the whole section of the left wall, a massive dream catcher right above the desk on another wall, and various knickknacks scattered about the room.
"Please do sit down. Make yourself comfortable."
Angel did and she about collapsed in the beanbag.
"Oof!"
After a few awkward moments, Angel finally managed to adjust herself in the beanbag where she could be able to hold a conversation without seeming like she'd get sucked back in.
Once settled in, Ms. Nelson spoke in a soft and gentle tone, trying to convey to the young woman that she was in a safe place free from judgement.
"It's nice to have you with us, Angel. I know change is hard, but I think you'll find this school to be a-"
An abrupt shrill jolted Angel right out of the beanbag.
"What did I tell you about that beanie?!"
Angel snarled at the harsh administrator again, therefore missing Ms. Nelson's face shift from warmth to understandable indignation.
"Last I checked, I ain't in your office anymore. I'm in hers. Mind your goddamn business."
The woman had enough of Angel's blatant disrespect and was now ready to have this delinquent expelled before the first day of school even started.
"You best watch your tone, young lady, or so help me I'll-"
Ms. Nelson stood up from her seat and stared directly into the administrator's eyes with such scrutiny that the woman stopped her threat mid-sentence.
"Amanda. Please. I will take care of this."
The dark-haired woman knew better than to challenge Ms. Nelson as she had the full support of the entire faculty with the way she was able to handle teenagers without resorting to harsh measures.
Pissed yet powerless to say anything else, the woman nevertheless made sure to make her intentions clear to the defiant little punk, "This discussion is not over, Miss Bellamy."
With that, she slammed the office door and Angel leaned back into the beanbag with arms crossed over her chest, sulking heavily.
Ms. Nelson already knew this was going to be a difficult case. But she was never one to shy away from even the most troublesome of students.
"Angel..." she began gently, "It is unwise to make Ms. Isa even more angry than she is right now. She does have the power to recommend expulsion to the principal."
Angel felt the tears of shame and anger prick her eyes. She already felt so unwelcome being here so what was the fucking point of it?
"She just took one look at my fucking rap sheet and didn't listen to a damn word I've said!" Angel bellowed in a frustrated tone.
Ms. Nelson gently exhaled as Angel's turbulent emotions were radiating so much throughout the office that she was beginning to absorb the energy.
"Miss Bellamy, you need to center yourself and regain control of your emotions. Just like choices, emotions also have consequences whether for good or for bad."
Angel felt utterly defeated.
"I didn't ask to be here," she quietly mumbled, refusing to meet her counselor's understanding gaze.
The energy was finally shifting back to a neutral manner, allowing Ms. Nelson to speak again without any emotional interference, "That may be true, but you're going to need to adjust being here at this new setting, for however long it takes."
Angel barked out a laugh, "Ain't like I'm given a choice, huh?"
Ms. Nelson knew the girl was only acting aloof to cover her true feelings.
"You always have a choice, Angel. But unless you wish to attend another educational institution out of the county, this is the only school in this district where you'll be given a second chance. Especially on grounds of your... record."
Angel sighed exasperatedly. It was always the fucking record that gets tossed in her face.
She was the innocent one here!
"Fucks sake, how many times do I gotta say it?! It was a mutual relationship and her piece of shit father just happened to catch us in the middle of..." Angel barely managed to stop her gradually inappropriate speech upon seeing Ms. Nelson's eyebrows rise.
Angel huffed a breath, "...she lied to save her own fucking skin. She betrayed me! I would never-"
"I believe you, Angel."
Angel was now too stunned to continue speaking upon hearing the counselor's genuine statement.
"What happened wasn't your fault. I know you're innocent. Now you'll unfortunately come to find that not everyone is as understanding of the situation. But I will tell you that you are safe here, and as long as you're not doing anything to hurt yourself or others, whatever you say here is confidential. No matter what happened in the past, that's just it. The past. What matters now is the present. And I believe that you're a good person, Angel."
Angel almost didn't want to listen to the counselor out of instinctive defiance, but something about the woman just made it so easy to converse naturally.
"Huh. Well, that's a first. You're the only other person besides my Dad who hasn't completely labeled me as a punk ass with no future," she quipped dryly, still aware that she wasn't exactly a good noodle despite her impassioned plea from earlier.
Ms. Nelson knew that Angel have been dealt a rough hand in life, but it was not too late for change.
"People always love to see the worst in the world, to be cruel and hateful in a world that needs more kindness and compassion... so I am all for a fresh start. You're at a new school in a new state, so this is your chance for you to prove all those people wrong."
Hearing the counselor's authentically kind words seemed to deflate the last of Angel's high emotions as she finally cracked a genuine smile.
Maybe this is the place where she could be given a second chance at life.
Ms. Nelson was pleased to see that Angel was much more relaxed than before and had a brilliant idea on how to shape this potential teenager into the best possible version of herself.
"Here, I have a special assignment for you."
The woman pulled out a dark leather book with golden hue lined pages and pressed it into Angel's palms, who heavily sighed upon taking the book.
"Homework already?"
Ms. Nelson shook her head in bemusement at the girl's grumbling. Much as she remained optimistic through it all, teenagers will be teenagers, no matter what era it is.
"Well, think of it as an extra credit. But I would really like you to use this. High school is all about growth and I want you to see how far you come as you continue your journey here."
"Right. And uh, what is this exactly?" Angel looked at it once over again, reveling in the feel of the soft leather.
"An outlet to write down your thoughts and feelings..." Ms. Nelson began but wore a hint of a smile on her aging features, "But most folks would call it a journal."
Angel scoffed at the now obvious realization and looked at the counselor with heavy skepticism.
"Look, I appreciate your kind gesture and trying to relate with the youth of today, but I don't write shit about myself. Leave that sort of crap to has-been poets and starving artists."
Ms. Nelson knew that Angel was only making such flippant remarks because underneath that abrasive tough facade, the teenager was struggling with deep-rooted trauma and the guilt, shame, and self-loathing that came along with it. Angel clearly needed a better support network, and the counselor was determined to help the girl no matter what.
"Ok, so maybe don't write about yourself. Maybe write about your favorite things. Your goals, your hopes, your dreams. But remember that you are in control of your own path. You have the ability to make choices. You are the hero of this story."
Angel felt a twinge of guilt of being so blatantly disrespectful when Ms. Nelson had been nothing but supportive and had the good grace to appear ashamed.
"I, uh... need get my schedule and get to class."
Ms. Nelson nodded, "Indeed you do. And Angel?"
She turned back toward the counselor who gave her such a radiant smile that Angel couldn't help but return the warm gesture.
"Welcome to Berry High."