"So you got a fourth season of Total Drama for me?" Producer Guy asks the Screenwriter Guy.
"Yessir I do."
"Amazing, so what crazy new location are we going to?"
"Actually we're going back to Camp Wawanakwa."
"Oh so we're going back to our roots, you know dial back the insanity that the previous two seasons-"
"And the island had been rented out to a hazardous waste company and the wildlife are now mutated." Screenwriter Guy adds.
"There it is." Producer Guy remarked.
"Also we're gonna be having only 13 players this season, since having 22 players made it difficult to give time to every player to showcase themselves."
"Oh man it's gonna be impossible to have a 26 episode season including the aftermaths with only 13 players." Producer Guy said.
"Actually it's gonna be super easy, barely an inconvenience." Screenwriter Guy dropped the famous line.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah we're just gonna cut the season in half to just thirteen episodes."
"Oh we are?"
"Yeah you remember how slow pace and uneventful the first half of Action was right?"
"Yeah, probably best to shorten the episode count. On the other hand it still doesn't feel like we're gonna have enough time to flesh out some of the new cast members."
"Oh don't worry about that because some of the cast members are just gonna be super generic one note characters." Screenwriter Guy said.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah the first elimination is this girl Staci who talks about her relatives doing inventing things."
"Did they?"
"Probably not, we also have Sam who likes video games, B who's a technical wizard and doesn't speak-"
"That will save us money on voice acting." Producer Guy mentioned.
"There's also this army hopeful named Brick and we're gonna reveal he peed himself on his first and last day of school and we're make a lot of jokes about that."
"Oh pee jokes are tight!"
"And also this enigmatic girl named Dawn who can talk to animals and read people's auras, ."
"Wow this girl sounds amazing." Producer Guy grinned.
"Yeah she is." Screenwriter Guy smiled, "She gets framed for theft by the big bad Scott 5 episodes in."
"Oh my god."
"Yeah not a great guy this Scott."
"So what's his deal?"
"Well he's this redneck farm boy who's scheming and crafty and he eliminates like a bunch of people in his debut season." Screenwriter Guy describes Scott.
"What's his plan? Read a girl's diary, seduce all the ladies into getting them eliminated? Abuse the shit of out his lawyers?"
"Nah his game is actually to throw the challenges and toss his teammates under the bus."
"And that actually works?"
"Apparently, he makes it to fourth place."
"Oh wow."
"Yeah and he's also chased by this mutant shark Fang the whole season." Screenwriter Guy adds
"Oh my god, why?!?!"
"Well you see Fang ate Scott in episode 2, but he managed to escape and caught one of the shark's teeth and so Fang swore revenge." The writer explained.
"Doesn't a shark have hundreds of teeth? Why get upset about one tooth?"
"I don't know."
"Fair enough."
"And so after he's eliminated and he's bound to a wheelchair and Fang mauls Scott to the point he's left in a metal chair to keep him alive."
"Kind of unnecessary, he was just defending himself from a walking mutant shark."
"Well he needs some payback for all his bad actions, so I'm gonna need you to get aaaaallllll the way off my back about this shark mauling." Screenwriter Guy said. "Besides we had Alejandro get burned by lava last season."
"Still doesn't seem like an appropriate punishment for just being a schemer as opposed to Ale's crimes." Producer Guy replied.
"My back is where you are and I'd love for you to vacate the premises."
"Well okay I'll get off of that thing, so what other characters do we have?"
"Well we have two athletic characters, this girl Jo who's super competitive and will be the main source of pee jokes about Brick."
"So do they fall in love?"
"What why?"
"Well if a girl bullies a guy that means she likes him right?"
"Actually that's an outdated double standard so we're not doing that."
"If you say so."
"There's also this guy named Lightning and he keeps mistaking Jo for a dude."
"That definitely won't be a societal issue in 8-12 years." Producer Guy replied.
"Weird of you a specify a timeframe, but he actually makes the finale with this scrawny nerd named Cameron." Screenwriter Guy said.
"Wow both finalists are the same gender that's new."
"Yeah the final challenge is basically a gladiator fight between a guy with a mace made from a mannequin leg and discount Iron Man with functional laser blasters."
"Oh my god."
"Yeah and there's also this guy named Mike and he has multiple personalities and they're really funny."
"Should this really be a topic we can make jokes out of?"
"My fortune cookie said to take risks in comedy so I think we'll be fine if we don't go too far with it."
"Well we can't argue with the Chinese."
"So whenever Mike gets frustrated he turns into a cranky old man named Chester."
"Old men can be funny."
"There's also an Indiana Jones parody whenever he puts on a fedora."
"Oh Indiana Jones is tight!"
"Okay, there's also a Jersey guy named Vito if he takes his shirt off."
"Must make showering awkward."
"And also an Olympic gymnast named Svetlana."
"These sound oddly specific."
"You're oddly specific!"
"We have the same face and appearance."
"No! No, you're a special little... snowflake."
"Well not like this multiple personalities thing won't get too cliche and offensive to people that do suffer from personality type disorders."
Total Drama All Stars introduces Mal