[A/N: i don't have good prompts or any inspiration, so sorry about being dry and predictable.
Sometimes i think of a couple of different endings for a story, so i'm gonna write them down. This is one of them, sorry. I'll put the lighter ending second.
AU where they're teenagers and a lil bit better friends than in canon.
TW/CW: crushes, self doubt, anxiety awkwardness, eating, frustration; running away; confession, stress/crying, lil bit of angst, making up/apologizing]
He couldn't believe that it came to this. It's humiliating, shameful. How could this have happened??? This had to be some kind of bad joke, right?
But when he thought about it intensely; when he got past the silliness and frustration and all the other negative thoughts about it, he realized that this really was something that he wanted and knew would make him happy. Maybe not in a 24/7 kind of way, or in that weird dominating way that he'd usually want things; but in an overall, wellbeing kind of way, which was honestly kind of scary to him. He hadn't felt like that about nearly anything before, but that didn't stop him from knowing that this is exactly that.
But it was still embarrassing.
Especially all of the things that he had done to try to quell and subdue the feelings. He'd privately write about it in his usual tone and in the doey-eyed voice that it conjured from him; and he'd collect photos of the subject to an obviously obsessive amount; and he'd dedicate more time than ever to this indulgence, no matter how much his pride tried to get him to behave past it. None of it was any use to getting him out of this stupid crushy feeling.
He talked himself through it all more times now than he could remember. He tried to reason with himself, tried to tell him that it didn't mean anything, tried to convince him that it wasn't serious. But the months going through it at this intensity pretty much proved the exact opposite.
So Gorgonzola decided that he would just go ahead and tell Chowder how he felt. It wasn't like he was going to make it a point to go see him, and it wasn't as if he'd have anything to lose if it turned out that Chowder really didn't want that kind of thing, at all, much less with such a mean nasty person as he was. I mean, why would anyone want to be with you, Gorgonzola?? Do you really think anybody would want to spend time like that with you?? You're so stupid, you're pathetic!
So maybe he wouldn't tell him. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe he really didn't deserve that kind of happiness with someone, especially someone as caring and forgiving as Chowder was. Maybe he was just meant to be alone all his life: it was why he pushed so many people away to begin with, right???
Gorgonzola hid away in his little place in the alley. Grumbling by himself always helped him feel better. He slumped his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. The tip of his tail pat the concrete rhythmically and mindlessly.
He didn't register how much time had passed while he was swimming in his thoughts. What broke him out of it was the cheery voice of the last person that he needed to hear right now. "Oh, hi Gorgonzola!!"
His heart stopped, but he managed to pull the usual uninterested countenance from his face. "Hey Chowder," he sighed casually.
"What are ya doin' back here all alone??" Why did he always have to be so… friendly?????
Gorgonzola leaned back against the wall. "Nothing much, Pudge." He glanced his eyes over. "Why did you come through here?"
"Oh, i was at Gazpacho's getting some slawbeeries for a recipe we're making." He held up a clear produce bag. "Do you want some??? Theeey'ree taaastyyy!!"
Gorgonzola turned his head. He studied the bag, then looked up at Chowder's happy, smiling face. It was getting harder and harder to resist the kindness when he came around, and his defenses were losing the battle more often. He glanced at the bag again and lazily held a hand out. "Yeah, sure, whatever."
Chowder moved the bag to get his fuzzy hand into it to grab a berry. "Are you feelin' okay, Gorgonzola?? You seem down in the dumps." He dropped it into his friend's palm. "This'll make you feel better!"
He twisted it around his hands to hold it up with two fingers. He examined the shape and absorbed the color of the fruit. It smelled really nice, like the feeling you get when you're in a big, flowery field on a summer day. It made him wonder what this berry tasted like, so he bit into it.
The flesh of the fruit was crisp, but yielding. It seemed to break off of itself just as his teeth were wedging into it. The scent of it turned into a sweet, tangy flavor in his mouth, with enough of a "plant" taste to bring back the idea of a meadow. It was cool, however, and exciting in a weird way. It triggered the nerves in his face to pinch up into a funny little smile, and he squeezed his eyes closed for a second in response. He looked at the remainder of it.
"See! I told you you'd feel better!" Gorgonzola blinked up at him. "Slawberries are so tasty!!" Chowder dug into the bag and pulled out a couple to toss in his mouth.
Gorgonzola looked back at his berry and twisted his face up. The little thing seemed to give him all of those funny crushy feelings at once, but concentrated in his mouth. His heart fluttered and his chest ached, and he glanced around the ground.
"Woah, your face looks all red like the berries!" Gorgonzola perked up anxiously. He felt sweat on his forehead. "Oh! You're not allergic, are you?" Chowder leaned in towards him with a concerned expression.
oooooo
Gorgonzola turned his head and raised his hand to cover his face. "N-no, i'm fine." He gulped and trembled as he tried to compose himself to speak again. He thought back to things that annoyed him or made him angry so that his blush and racing heartbeat would dissipate. It at least worked on his face's hue. "I haven't had a slawberry in forever…"
Chowder gasped exaggeratedly. "That's terrible!!!" He smiled wide, "wanna go to Gazpacho's stand and get some for yourself? I'll go with you!" He held his hand out to help him stand.
Gorgonzola could feel the pink dust his face again as he stared at Chowder's extended hand. He glanced up again and decided to take it. He spoke as he raised to his feet, "um… no, that's alright." He took his hand back, even though he wasn't sure that he wanted to. "Um, Chowder, can we talk??"
"A'course!!" He smiled and nodded his head.
There was silence for what felt like a very long time to Gorgonzola, but the words seemed to break free of him on their own. "There's somebody that--" He caught himself. He looked away to quickly think up how he could phrase it. "I've been thinking about a lot recently. Do you ever get that??"
Chowder tapped his chin. "Hmm… No, i don't think so!"
Gorgonzola sighed in frustration. "Of course you haven't." The deflation helped him feel normal again. "Well, i've been thinking about somebody, and i think i might have a crush on them." His chest tightened and he grimaced hard.
Chowder slapped his hands to his face. "Oh wow!! Gorgonzola, you have a crush on somebody??" Gorgonzola's face got red again. "Who is it, can you tell me??!" Chowder leaned his face in towards him.
Gorgonzola leaned back and suddenly didn't feel like sharing any more. He debated doing so. "Uum, n-no, i can't tell you."
Chowder huffed. "Oooh, fine."
He really didn't understand how Chowder could make him feel so shy and awkward with emotion, AND ALSO so comforting to him at the same time. Gorgonzola didn't know how to compose himself. "S-so i don't know what to do about it. I want to tell them, but i'm worried that they don't like me back."
Chowder smiled. "You should just tell them! I bet they think about you all the time, too!" He started counting good qualities about Gorgonzola on his fingers. "You're cool and you're funny, and you know how ta get just what you want!"
Gorgonzola turned his head again, upset that those were the only good things that anyone would find in him. "Thanks…" He sighed. "But i don't think they'll feel the same way. They're so much better than i am, and they deserve a lot more than what i can provide. I feel like i don't have a chance…"
Chowder patted Gorgonzola's shoulder. "Sure ya do, buddy!! Anybody would be lucky ta have you as a boyfriend! You're so fun!!"
Gorgonzola stiffened at the touch and desperately wanted to run away. He almost did, but his feet were glued to the ground. He felt sweat fall off of him everywhere. "Um… alright…" He didn't know what more to say.
"So are ya gonna do it???" Chowder gasped. "Can i bake your wedding cake if you two get married?!"
Gorgonzola's eyes got huge and he stared right at Chowder. It had to be somebody else puppetting him right now, like some kind of bad fanfiction. "Chowder, i have a massive crush on you."
Chowder cocked his head. "Huh? Oh! Are we doing that thing where i pretend ta be the person you're gonna talk to ta practice???"
Gorgonzola furrowed his brow. "No, we're not."
"Oh."
"I have a crush on you, Chowder." He kept his angry expression, but his heart seemed like it was breaking out of his chest to fly far away from here.
"On me??" He tapped his chin again for what felt like a long while. Gorgonzola slapped his hand to his face and sighed. "But Panini already has a crush on me…?"
"So??? You're not her boyfriend." Gorgonzola folded his arms. He never cared for that obsessive girl, and she barely threatened him in being the one to wind up with Chowder.
"Huh, that is true…" He continued to think. "But, why do you have a crush on me???" Despite his few brain cells, he did understand that Gorgonzola never did seem to like him much, so it didn't make any sense to him.
Gorgonzola looked away and scrunched his face again. "Uhg! Because i like the way you make me feel. You're my only friend, Chowder: you make me happy…" he paused, "or whatever." He felt his eyes water from the stress.
There was silence for another while. Gorgonzola tried his hardest not to cry, but the quiet was telling him that his feelings weren't returned. He felt ashamed for letting himself get here and for being so foolish as to think that Chowder would accept it. He decided to go home.
Chowder watched him leave. He couldn't think of what to do or say, and he didn't know what would cheer Gorgonzola up. He shouted just as he was turning the corner. "Are you sure you don't want any slawberries???"
-melting ice cream-
The doorbell rang, and Stilton yelled out. "Gorgonzola!!! Go get the door!!!"
Gorgonzola stayed flat on the floor for a minute longer. He hoped the guest would leave on their own, but the doorbell rang again. "GORGONZOLA!!!"
The kid sat up and glanced at the door. He hoped whoever was there didn't care that he was going to slam it in their face, because he didn't feel like dealing with anything right now.
He emotionlessly swung it open to the purple cat thing from earlier. His heart stopped again, but panicked when he saw Chowder smile at him. "Oh Gorgonzola! I'm glad it's you!"
He frowned. "What do you want, Chowder?" He felt his body heat up, but he was unsure whether it was his crushiness or regular old anger.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I guess i shoulda said somethin' back there. I just didn't really know what." He pulled out a plate from somewhere and presented it to Gorgonzola. "I made this for you."
Gorgonzola looked at the little pink cake. He scrunched his face up in confusion: the heart shape and fluffy white boarder contrasting with the messy lettering that Chowder still wasn't any good at. "Besties!" There were sliced slawberries on all of the frosting dollops all around it.
Gorgonzola looked up with the same puzzled expression. "What does this even mean?" It almost came out as a growl.
"I don't know what's between us now, or what will be in the future." He smiled sincerely. "But i do know that you're always gonna be my friend, Gorgonzola. That's something that's never gonna change."
Gorgonzola's face contorted into a weird shape, visibly showing how mixed up he felt on the inside. He was still upset that Chowder basically rejected him, and that he showed up to annoy him, and because he was just frustrating in general; but was far overjoyed to hear that Chowder still wanted to be friends and cared enough to go out of his way to do something sweet for him like this. His eyes started to water, but he blinked the tears away. He smiled, "do you wanna come inside??"
Chowder nodded. "I sure would."
oooo
"Woah, your face looks all red like the berries!" Gorgonzola perked up anxiously. He felt sweat on his forehead. "Oh! You're not allergic, are you?" Chowder leaned in towards him with a concerned expression.
Gorgonzola shrunk away from him. "N-no, i-i'm fine, Chowder." They locked eyes, but he felt like Chowder was trying to look into his soul and could see all of the emotions that were storming around in his mind.
Gorgonzola shoved the remainder of his slawberry into Chowder's mouth and pushed him away in the same motion. He kicked to get away from where he was and scrambled up to his feet to run before Chowder could fluster him any further. Chowder only understood that he left when he saw the tip of Gorgonzola's tail disappear around the corner.
Gorgonzola ran until he couldn't anymore. He had too much panicky adrenaline in him to stay still, and he needed to get away as fast and far as possible. When he finally did stop, he gasped to catch his breath as he leaned a hand against the wall of a different alley.
When he did regain a sense of ease, he did something that he knew he would hate himself for later. He breathed in deeply, and sighed out dreamily. He slid down the wall to the ground and grinned wide. He fluttered his eyes and rested his head in his hands again, his tail wrapping around his ankles. He immediately daydreamed all kinds of things about Chowder and the way he felt about him, completely fine with just indulging himself in the moment.