Summary:

"Sam nearly spits out her orange juice. ' "Certified"?' she chokes. 'How do you become a certified psychic?'

"Jonas shrugs. 'I don't know, but I could have had a promising career. You know, if I hadn't had brain surgery and all.'"

OR

A present-day AU inspired by the events of "Prophecy." Jonas' premonitions make an unexpected reappearance, and Sam helps him deal with the repercussions. Angst and fluff (and totally innocent hand-holding) abound.

A/N: So yes, even though the fandom for this pair is about small as a pinprick, what started off as an "I wrote this on a whim" oneshot has officially turned into a whole series now lol. I'm incapable of starting short and/or simple projects, apparently. This is a companion piece to the preceding fic, "we found wonderland (you and i got lost in it)." Although it's not necessary to read that fic before this one, it does establish some context for this particular AU (such as explaining why Janet is alive and Jonas is on the team at the same time Cameron is). That fic also introduces some fun little details about Jonas' character (like his taste in music) and his friendship with Sam that are referenced in this story.

On the subject of the AU - this does re-imagine the characters as existing in the present day, since I thought it would be fun to explore the idea of Jonas enjoying aspects of modern-day Earth culture. It does, however, reference events that did happen in canon, although I imagine the exact timeline of those events was probably a bit different in this universe. This fic in particular revisits the plot of "Prophecy," in which Jonas develops precognitive abilities.

To those happy few who are enjoying this series, thank you for taking the time to be here! It's tough writing for a rarepair especially in an older fandom, but I'm having fun with it and I appreciate whoever is gracious enough to give this a read. :)

are we out of the woods yet?

He's popped his fourth Tylenol of the day when Sam decides to say something.

"Jonas," she begins, eyeing her friend with a troubled frown, "I think you should visit the infirmary."

Jonas shakes his head, not even bothering to look at her. His focus remains on his laptop screen. "I'm fine," he grunts, although the way he's rubbing his temple indicates otherwise. "I've just been looking at Daniel's notes for too long."

"Then take a break," Sam insists.

Jonas sighs. "I would, but there's a lot to get through here. He sent over a ton of info from Atlantis that might help us unlock the device we found on Asterion Prime. I'm still going through - "

"The device can wait," she interrupts, stepping up beside him. "You've been battling that headache for days."

He finally glances up at her. "I'm sure it's nothing," he says, flashing her a tired smile. "Probably just stress."

Sam fights the swell of frustration rising in her gut. "Even if it is, you still need to rest."

Thankfully, Jonas responds this time with a nod. "You're probably right," he muses. "I have been at it for awhile."

Sam lays a hand on his shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. "Come on, let's do a diner run," she suggests. "You've barely eaten today and that's definitely not like you."

A small grin flickers across Jonas' face. "All right, you've got me," he laughs. "Can't say no to after-work breakfast."

She meets his grin with one of her own. "Glad to hear it," she says. "Otherwise I'd have been really worried."

Sam is relieved to see Jonas scarfing down his "deluxe" stack of blueberry pancakes. Skipping meals is usually the first sign that something is amiss, especially since he always makes it a point to be first in line for lunch at the commissary. She's glad that at least for now, he's apparently retained his appetite.

"You want some bacon?" he asks through a mouthful of whipped cream.

Sam shakes her head. "I'm okay," she says, returning her attention to her stuffed French toast. "I've already got enough on my plate."

Jonas picks up a slice of bacon and rips off a chunk with his teeth. "Okay, suit yourself."

Sam chuckles and pops a piece of French toast into her mouth. "I thought you weren't eating bacon anymore after watching Charlotte's Web."

He continues munching. "I'm not. Turkey bacon, remember?"

"Ah, right. Well, that's healthier, anyway."

"Isn't gonna make much of a difference next to all this," Jonas laughs, indicating the mountain of pancakes. "The eggs don't help either."

"Really going for those hardened arteries, huh?" she teases.

His eyes twinkle. "Guess so."

They lapse into silence as they focus on eating. Jonas is two thirds of the way through his pancake stack before he speaks again. "You know, I wonder if I should've switched jobs," he says through a helping of scrambled eggs.

Sam raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

He tilts his head at a flyer taped to the window outside. It reads, Certified Psychic Analyst: Palm Readings, Astral Charts, Card Readings, and More! Call or E-mail to set up an appointment. The contact information is printed at the bottom.

Sam nearly spits out her orange juice. " 'Certified'?" she chokes. "How do you become a certified psychic?"

Jonas shrugs. "I don't know, but I could have had a promising career. You know, if I hadn't had brain surgery and all."

Sam makes a face at him. "Jonas, you might've died without that surgery."

He smirks and sets to work on another slice of turkey bacon. "I know. But assuming I could have survived, I think all those premonitions might have opened up a huge window of opportunity for me."

She snorts. "You think doing psychic readings could've been a big opportunity?

"Eh, maybe," he jokes. "Especially if it paid well."

"Oh, of course." She rolls her eyes. "How much would you have charged, exactly?"

He scrunches up his nose as he considers the question, and Sam has to admit that he looks kind of cute that way. Not that he isn't already adorable by default, but that's beside the point.

"A hundred per hour. Seventy-five for a half, and a ten percent discount for seniors," he states.

"What?!" she cries. "That's ridiculous."

"No it's not," he argues. "It's reasonable given price inflation and the rising cost of living."

"For you, maybe," she retorts, "but thanks to said cost of living you wouldn't get any business. Nobody's going to shell out a hundred dollars an hour for a psychic reading. Especially not on a regular basis."

"Oh you'd be surprised," Jonas says. "Plenty of people are desperate enough."

"And you'd have been okay with taking advantage of that?"

He shakes his head, still smirking. "I wouldn't have had to take advantage of anybody. My readings would've been accurate. And the accuracy is reflected in the price, you know. The better the quality, the higher the price."

Sam rolls her eyes again. "It's still ridiculous," she laughs.

"Oh really? Gimme your palm."

She shoots him an unimpressed look. "You're not psychic anymore, Jonas."

He holds out his hands and wiggles his fingers at her. "You never know, Sam. I might have some ability left over."

Sam narrows her eyes. "Fine," she mutters, sticking her arm out. "But I highly doubt you'll pick up on anything significant."

Jonas grins. "Oh ye of little faith," he quips, cupping her hand in his own.

She ignores the shiver that ripples down her spine as he traces his thumb across her palm. "Okay, so this line here means you're gonna live a long and mostly healthy life."

"Mostly?"

"Well, you might want to cut down on the blue jello intake."

She scoffs but lets him continue. "This line," he goes on, "means you're destined to find true love in an unexpected place."

Sam laughs again. "Okay now you're just making shit up."

"I am not," he teases, waggling his eyebrows at her. "It's all right here."

"Right. Sure, Jan."

"Will you just let me finish?"

She lets out an exaggerated groan. "Fine, fine. What else does it say?"

Jonas squints at her hand, still running his thumb over her skin. "Hmm, let's see," he murmurs, more to himself than to her. "What else…" He trails off, falling silent.

Sam frowns at him. "Jonas?"

This time he doesn't answer. Instead his gaze remains fixed on her palm, his expression now blank. She feels a pang of fear at the sudden shift in his demeanor. "Jonas?" she repeats, leaning towards him. "Are you okay?"

"Something bad's going to happen," he mumbles in a hollow voice. "To you. When we go back."

Ice-cold dread trickles through her veins. "Go back? Go back where?"

"Asterion Prime," he drones. "Someone kidnaps you on the next mission."

Sam takes a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. "Jonas," she says softly, "I need you to look at me."

At first, he stays locked in the same position, his eyes still riveted to her palm. But after a few seconds, a shudder passes through him. He blinks, tossing his head from side to side as if casting off some kind of spell.

"What happened?" he asks, looking dazed.

Sam meets his gaze. "I think you just had a vision," she murmurs. "A real one."

Jonas frowns. "How - ahh!" He winces and lifts a hand to his forehead. "Headache's back."

"I'm going to call Janet," Sam says, frantically digging her phone out of her purse. "I think you need to see her right away."

Several hours and one MRI later find Jonas laid out on a hospital bed, his head propped up on pair of pillows. His headache disappeared on the way back to the SGC, but Sam didn't want to take any chances.

"Did you find anything?" she asks as Janet enters the room.

"We did, actually," the doctor says, her expression solemn. "It looks like the tissue that was causing the premonitions before has somehow managed to grow back."

Sam steels herself against the spike of anxiety in her chest. "How is that possible?"

Janet's gaze flits to Jonas. "I'm not entirely certain," she admits. "But we'll have to run more tests to see if it's going to pose a danger to him."

"The headaches aren't as bad as last time," Jonas says, his voice taking on a hopeful edge.

"That's a good sign," Janet replies, smiling down at him. "But I just want to take some precautions."

Sam wraps her arms around her chest in an attempt to calm her nerves. "You think it might be benign?"

Janet turns back to her. "There's a possibility it might not grow any larger than it is now," she explains. "We'll have to monitor it for a few weeks to know for sure."

"A few weeks?" Jonas groans.

"Yes," Janet says sternly. "And I don't want you overworking yourself this time."

He sighs. "What about my vision?" he asks, locking eyes with Sam. A thread of fear knots itself in her stomach. Jonas may have misinterpreted his visions before, but that doesn't mean they were wholly inaccurate.

"Well," Janet begins, glancing back at Sam, "I think for now we should assume it's the same as last time. Accurate, but not quite the full picture."

"Well that doesn't really help things," Jonas mutters, his brows knitting in concern. "How do we know if Sam going back to the planet makes it happen or if it happens because she stays here?"

"If I'm here I can't be kidnapped there," Sam points out.

"True," Jonas continues, "But last time we ended up changing certain details. What if you decide to stay here on the next mission, and then something different happens? Like, you still get kidnapped but on another mission? Or in another location?"

Janet lays a hand on his arm. "It won't do you any good to worry about it," she says gently. "For now let's focus on making sure your condition doesn't worsen."

"But - "

"No buts," the doctor scolds. "Now I want you to try to get some rest."

Jonas pouts but nods in agreement. "All right, doc. I'll try."

"See that he does," she whispers to Sam on her way out. "You know how stubborn he is."

Sam lets out a half-hearted laugh. "I'll stay with him," she promises. "Besides if I leave he'll probably just worry that someone will nab me in the parking lot."

"Hey, I heard that," Jonas calls out.

Sam just sighs and shakes her head.

A few weeks later, Janet clears Jonas to return to work on the base. "Doesn't seem like the tissue is growing," she says, signing off on his charts. "I'll give you something if the headaches come back, but otherwise I don't think you're in any danger."

"Thanks, doc," Jonas replies, flashing her a grateful smile. "I was worried I'd be stuck under a microscope forever."

"Just so we're clear, you're okay to keep working here," she cautions, "but I want you to give it a little bit more time before returning to active duty. We still don't know how frequent the visions will be, and I want to make sure you adjust to having them again before going back out into the field."

Jonas' face falls. "What? But the next mission is in a week and Sam - "

"I'll be fine," Sam interrupts, giving him a firm look. She isn't sure if she believes that, but she knows he'll spiral if she feeds into his anxiety. "You'd better do as she says."

Jonas sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Okay, I'll stay put," he grumbles. "But don't expect me to be happy about it."

If there's one thing Jonas isn't adept at, it's subtlety. He spends the next day either sulking in his office or shooting worried glances at Sam during lunch hour. Sam isn't sure how to broach the subject of her imminent capture with him, and as much as Cam is attempting to lighten the mood, he isn't being particularly helpful. He's made two quips about Jonas being the "oracle of the SGC" before Sam nudges his shoulder to get him to stop.

"Thought it might distract him," Cam explains when Jonas leaves the table to grab dessert. "You know how much he loves that Percy Jackson thing."

"He's worried about me," Sam says, watching her friend as he debates between a cup of chocolate pudding and a slice of raspberry cheesecake. "I can't say I blame him."

"Are you not worried?" Teal'c asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

Sam shrugs, trying to ignore the writhing sensation in her gut. "I don't know," she murmurs, picking at her jello. "There's so many variables when it comes to predicting possible futures, and literally anything could shift the course of events. There's no guarantee what he saw happen will happen exactly as he saw it."

"Or if it'll happen at all," Cam says.

Sam nods, but if she has to be honest with herself, she isn't completely convinced.

"It would not be unreasonable," Teal'c remarks, "to at least be prepared for the possibility that this event may occur."

"What event?" Jonas asks, approaching the table with the cheesecake slice in hand. "Someone throwing a party?"

Sam's heart clenches at the strained smile stretching across his face. "Nothing that exciting," she says, feigning a smile of her own.

"Too bad," Jonas mutters, lowering himself into his seat. "We could use some more fun around here."

Sam thinks it prudent to leave Jonas alone for the rest of the day. She hopes that her absence might allow him to focus on his research rather than on his concern for her safety, but as the day comes to a close, she decides it won't hurt to check in on him. He has a tendency to hyper-focus on his work, often to the detriment of his own health, and the last thing she wants is for him to end up in the infirmary again.

"Hey," she says as she knocks on the door to his office. She can hear the faint sound of Midnights playing through his laptop speakers. "How's it going?"

Jonas glances up from the mountain of papers piled atop his desk. "Oh, hey," he answers, greeting her with a weary smile. "It's…going."

She lets out a small chuckle and crosses the room. "That bad, huh?"

He shakes his head. "Not bad, exactly, but like I said before, there's a lot to get through."

"Did you make any headway with Daniel's notes?"

Jonas nods, returning his attention to his journal. "Yeah, a little," he says. "But I've still got a long way to go."

Sam rounds the desk and perches herself on the edge next to him. "Well, don't work too late," she chides, "or Janet might start assigning you a babysitter."

He smirks. "Are you volunteering for the job?"

She grins back at him. "Maybe. Somebody has to make sure you go home every night."

Jonas scoffs. "What are you gonna do, pick me up and throw me out?"

Sam shrugs. "If I have to."

He makes a face at her and she can't help but laugh. "Come on, Jonas, you can't work all the time."

"I know, I know," he groans. "I just hate leaving things hanging."

She gestures to the papers. "All this will still be here when you get back."

He grimaces. "Well, I won't exactly be going anywhere anytime soon."

Sam's grin falters and she falls silent for a moment. She watches him run his fingers across a page of his journal, taking note of the slight quiver in his hands.

"You know, I won't be alone," she says quietly. "On the mission, I mean."

He nods but doesn't look at her. "I know."

"SG-15 is coming, and Cam and Teal'c are prepping just in case something happens. They'll have my back. They always do."

Jonas sighs and leans back in his chair. "I just don't like feeling helpless."

Sam frowns and reaches towards him, intending to lay a hand on his arm. It somehow ends up slipping into his hand instead. "You're not," she says, squeezing his palm. "You've done enough by warning me."

"It wasn't enough last time." He meets her eyes then, unspoken fear pooling in the depths of his gaze.

"Jonas," she murmurs. "I was fine."

"You could've died."

Sam sighs and rubs her thumb across the back of his knuckles. "You don't know that. And besides, what happened didn't happen the way you thought it would."

Jonas glances back at his journal. "I know. But you don't know what it was like, Sam. I felt so powerless. Like I could have stopped it, or should have. But I didn't. All I could do was stand there watching them wheel you into the infirmary. I was so scared I'd lose you and that it'd be my fault."

An unexpected warmth blossoms in her chest. "You were scared of losing me?"

He peers up at her, his expression somewhat cautious. "You mean a lot to me, Sam. When I first came here, and nobody really trusted me, you were the first person who reached out. Who made me feel like I could actually belong. You didn't have to be my friend, but you chose to be anyway, and I've never forgotten that."

Sam stares into his eyes, at a loss for what to say.

"Anyway, I feel like I owe you," Jonas adds softly.

She shakes her head and squeezes his palm again. "You don't owe me anything, Jonas. And you don't need to keep worrying about me. I'll be okay. I promise."

His gaze flickers to their joined hands. "That's just it. You can't promise that."

"Okay, maybe I can't, but if anything does happen, it won't be your fault. Got it?"

He nods, but Sam can tell he hasn't quite accepted her absolution. "Yeah," he says under his breath, choosing once again not to look at her. "I got it."

Jonas is there to see her off when the day of the mission rolls around. He maintains a neutral expression, but his restless fidgeting betrays his underlying anxiety.

"I'll be okay," she reiterates for what feels like the hundredth time that week. "Don't worry about me."

He shakes his head. "I don't think I can guarantee that."

"Well, at least make sure you remember to eat?"

He forces a smile. "That I might be able to manage."

She laughs - if only a little - and squeezes his arm. "We'll be back soon, all right?"

"All right."

"Don't skip any meals."

"I won't, I won't."

"I mean it."

Jonas sighs and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah I hear you."

Sam smiles at him. "Just making sure."

"You ready?" Cam asks from behind her.

She turns around and nods. "Yeah," she says. "Let's head out."

Jonas' troubled eyes are the last things she sees before she steps through the 'gate.

She's drenched in mud, limping, and sporting a nasty gash on her forehead when she stumbles back through to the SGC. She hears Jonas before she sees him, his rapid footsteps pounding against the floor like a nervous drumbeat.

"Sam!" he yells, sprinting up to the base of the ramp. "Sam, are you - "

"I'm okay," Sam gasps, hobbling towards him. "We got into a little skirmish with some locals, but we're fi - "

He cuts her off by pulling her into a crushing hug. She's stunned for a second, but when her brain catches up to the moment, she relaxes in his arms and wraps her own around his waist. "I'm okay," she repeats, more softly this time. "Just a little banged up."

"When you didn't come back on time I got worried," he murmurs into her shoulder.

Although she's certain they're attracting stares, she allows him to continue holding her. "We got delayed," she whispers. "But we're all right now, I promise."

He finally releases her when Cam taps him on the arm. "We should get cleaned up," he says, eyeing Jonas with uncharacteristic gentleness. "But your vision did end up saving our asses."

Jonas frowns. "Really?"

"Indeed," Teal'c adds as he approaches. "Your foreknowledge afforded us a significant advantage against our enemies."

"All right, enough talking," Janet interrupts, weaving her way through the small crowd of personnel now gathered in the 'gate room. "Let's get you all to the infirmary."

The doctor begins herding everyone towards the door, leaving a now mud-stained Jonas to trail after them. Sam reaches out and grabs his hand before she's led away.
She meets his gaze in silent reassurance and grants his fingers a tiny squeeze.

She only lets go when she sees his body relax, the fear on his face at last dissolving into a relieved smile.

"So what happened, exactly?"

It's Sam's turn now to be tucked into a hospital bed. The mud and grime have been scrubbed away, replaced by a clean gown and a bandage applied to the wound on her forehead. Jonas is sitting in a chair close beside her, handing her a flute of blue jello from the commissary.

"We ran into some bandits," she answers, spooning a helping of jello into her mouth. "You were right, in a way. I did get captured, but only for about ten minutes. There was a shootout and I managed to get away pretty quickly."

Jonas breathes a sigh. "Well, that's a relief."

She smiles at him. "Cam and Teal'c meant it," she says. "You really did save our asses. We were ready for anything to happen and when it did, we knew what to do."

He returns her smile, the overhead light catching his eyes in a soft glow. "I'm really glad you're okay," he says quietly.

"Me too."

She returns her attention to the jello. "So, did you have any more visions while we were gone?"

Jonas shakes his head. "Nope. I haven't seen anything since that night at the diner."

"Are you relieved?"

He shrugs. "I guess. I just wish I could control it. I feel like I'm always gonna be on edge, you know? Waiting for a vision to pop up out of nowhere when I least expect it."

Sam offers him a sympathetic look. "There must be some way to learn how to manage it."

"Maybe," he muses. "I'll have to do more research."

Her mouth curls into a grin. "Well, that shouldn't be too hard for you. Research is your favorite pastime."

Jonas laughs. "I have actual hobbies, you know."

"Oh, like eating?"

He smirks and pretends to lunge for her jello.

"Hey!" Sam giggles, yanking the flute away from him. "The jello is always off-limits."

Jonas fakes a pout before settling back into his chair. "Just gonna let me starve, huh?"

She rolls her eyes. "Get your own snacks."

"Fine, I see how it is."

Sam makes a face at him and scoops the last of the jello into her mouth. "You know, speaking of the diner," she says, "you never finished my palm reading."

He grimaces. "That 'reading' didn't exactly end well."

She shrugs, placing the empty flute onto a side table. "So? Maybe this time it'll go differently." She holds out her hand to him, her palm facing upward.

Jonas raises an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

Sam smirks. "I'll pay you for the session."

"Right," he scoffs. "Says the woman who thought my rates were ridiculous."

"They were," she argues. "Anyway, I'm a friend, so I'm eligible for a discount." She waves her wrist at him.

Jonas lets out a chuckle. "All right, let's just say this one is on the house."

She grins. "Deal."

He cradles her hand in his own, the warmth of his touch sending an electric tingle shooting up the length of her arm. "Hmm, let's see," he mumbles, running his thumb across her skin. "We have long life, true love, and - ah, here's something!"

Sam frowns. "What is it?"

Jonas glances up at her, grinning. "It's big. You'll have to pay an extra fee."

"Jonas, just shut up and tell me."

His grin softens into a warm smile. "Lasting friendship," he says finally, his eyes catching hers. "For as long as you'll have it."

For the first time, Sam welcomes the flush that settles in her cheeks. "I think I can live with that," she murmurs, curling her fingers around his. "At least until next week."

He laughs but doesn't let go of her hand.

Not that she minds. Not that she minds at all.

A/N: Asterion Prime is a planet I invented for the purposes of this AU. I have some ideas for it that may or may not crop up in a later fic. The name "Asterion" comes from the name of Asterion, King of Crete, who was the stepfather of King Minos (best known for his role in the "Theseus and the Minotaur" myth).

On the subject of Greek mythology, I get the feeling that Jonas would be a huge fan of the Percy Jackson series, hence the reference to it in the fic. He seems like the kind of person who'd get way too invested in that kind of story, especially given its adjacent relevance to SG-1's work with "gods."

I wanted to sneak in a Psych reference but unfortunately forgot about it until after I had already finished writing and editing the final product. It's another thing I feel like Jonas would be a fan of, given that he and Shawn share a lot of similarities in how overly observant they are. Hopefully I'll remember to work it into the next fic.

Since the previous fic established that AU Jonas is a huge Taylor Swift fan, the title of this story was taken from the lyrics for "Out of the Woods."

Upon rewatch it did not escape my notice that Sam and Jonas had several hand-holding moments over the course of season 6. I have no idea if anything was meant by that but it happened several times and was particularly apparent in "Prophecy," which is the episode that inspired this fic. I guess I just decided to bring more attention to it, since it kind of seems to be their thing xD